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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom.

And Isaac from Resolute Man Together pursuing the mission to impact 10 million families and their legacies for the Kingdom of God.

We’ve been married for 23 years and are seeing the fruit from raising our nine children biblically, based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children, as too many from Christian families are walking away from their faith by the age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

We’re praising the Lord. That ministry continues to expand and impact more legacies. We couldn’t do this without you. Whether you pray for us, give us five star reviews, or share on social.

Or even if you purchase courses in merch or join the Be Courageous app community, enjoy the coffee or support financially. We’re so thankful you are a big part of the 10 Million Legacies movement.

If you want access to all the episodes, show notes, and other biblically based resources, go to Be courageous.

Join us as we start another important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Hi there! Welcome to the Courageous Parenting Podcast. I’m here today on my own because Isaac is not feeling that great. I don’t know if you guys have been following on Instagram or if you’re in our Be Courageous app, but we have asked for prayer for Isaac. Um, he this last week ended up in the ER for some some crazy stomach stuff and so he is trying to rest and recover. And I am excited though, to be here with you guys and to talk about a really important topic, which is how do your kids view the church? This is something that’s been really heavy on my heart. It’s something I’ve been praying about and thinking about for a while now, and writing down and journaling. Um, just introspectively. At first it started out as just something that I was doing for myself as accountability, but also just wanting to make sure that I wasn’t missing anything with the kids that I, you know, in the midst of mothering and homeschooling and running a ministry with my husband and, um, he just planted a church. And so helping serve there, there can be so many things that that I’m doing, and I’m sure that you can relate to this as well, where sometimes you can get going through the, the, the regular schedule of the normal routine. But you’re busy, busy, busy, and sometimes you just need to slow down and evaluate and think and pray and ask God if there’s anything that you are missing in your training of your children, whether that is training their heart and discipling them, or if it’s not correcting things that need to be corrected.

If it’s um, sometimes it’s as simple as changing things in your own life that maybe are character flaws that have been blind spots in your life. And that really, for me, is kind of what I, um, started out doing with the Lord. I just started journaling, saying, Lord, is there any wayward way in me? Would you just open my eyes to that? And of course, I think we’re all our own worst critics. And so we’re all very aware of our pitfalls, our mistakes, our sins, our tendencies, our personality flaws, whatever you want to call them. Um, and really, what it comes down to is that we need to repent and we need to use those things to be motivators. And so for me, if you’ve been listening for any amount of time or if you’ve been following my blog, you know that I am, I don’t really yes, I care about my reputation, but also I’m I’m at a place where I’m not trying to prove anything, and it’s a really nice place. The older you get, the more you start not caring. Right? Like right now, if you’re watching our YouTube channel, you’ll probably see me wearing my homesteading grubbies because this week was supposed to be a week where it’s our annual family snowboarding trip up the mountain.

Um, but because Isaac is not doing so great, I am here with him and my kids are up on the mountain. And so I’m taking care of the homestead. And I have to clean a chicken coop later today if I can do that before the sun goes down. So, um, but my point is, is like my heart with this podcast episode is not ever to impress you, but to impress upon you strong biblical truth and to share with you the things that God has convicted me over the years or is working on my heart. And and so I hope that today is encouraging. So, um, as we’re getting going here, I just I thought it might be awesome to share part of my testimony. You guys know that Isaac did not grow up going to church, and I did. You maybe. Maybe you do know that. Maybe you don’t know that. But, um, we’ve been very open about how we were raised in other podcast episodes. And just when our testimony with the Lord’s, um, with a personal relationship with the Lord really began. And for Isaac, he was 23 years old. And and he might share more of that in a different episode, just personally himself. But for me, I was really blessed to be raised in a home where my parents loved Jesus and they loved God’s Word, and I’m thankful for that for many reasons.

Um, but as I grew up and I started trying to make my faith my own and really come into a personal relationship with the Lord, I had a lot of questions, as I’m sure all children do, and I think that that is really at the heart of what we’re talking about today. Um, as we ask the question, how do your kids view the church? First question would be, do they view it as a place or as a people? Because we know that the Church of God is God’s body and it’s his people which are actually everywhere. But we do also know that there is local bodies that assemble in church buildings, and those are the house of the of the Lord, in a sense. Right? And so the answer, the appropriate answer would be both. How do your kids view the church? Do they view it as a place or a people? Well, they should view it as both actually. And I think that there’s been such a heavy, strong encouragement, which has been good. The encouragement has been that, oh, no, God’s Church is the people. And that is 100% true. And, you know, older generations, there was a tendency for it to be that the church was a building, that there was a meeting place. And so that’s where that like push for really like, do people have a personal relationship with Jesus? Do they have relationship with each other? And it’s about the hearts and the eternal things because buildings they can burn down.

But but people, those that’s eternal. You’re either going to be living with the Lord in eternal glory, or you’re going to be in damnation and in hell. And so there’s this reality that when we’re looking at the earthly things as Christians, we know these things are not going to last. They’re rubble. They’re moth, and rust will destroy them, right? However, in the Bible, we also see God talking about his church and using building analogies as well. And that is where the church gathers and meets. And it’s where a lot of awesome, um, different experiences can happen for people when they’re going to church. Right? And so as, as you’re, as we’re talking about this topic of how do your kids view the church? The first thing that we want to reflect on as parents is the truth and the reality that our kids are going to mirror and mimic what they see in us. They’re going to mimic both the merit, the good character qualities, as well as the poor behavior, the bad attitudes, maybe the unbiblical perspective, whatever it is. So whether we have the right biblical perspective or the wrong one, our kids are going to see that played out through what we do, what we say, how we say it, our attitudes, all of those things. And so as we’re raising our kids, I constantly am bringing up this, the reality that when we’re leaving a legacy, whether you’re being intentional or not, you are leaving a legacy.

It just might be an unintentional one. And that completely applies to this concept of how do our kids view the church? Well, a lot of that early on is based upon how we view the church. And what I mean by that is if they are viewing it as a place, then they’re going to view it as a place. And oh, this is a place where, you know, this is God’s. We’re part of God’s family. This is the family of God’s house. I’m going to take care of it. I’m not just going to throw gum in the parking lot. I’m not going to. Not that they shouldn’t do that anywhere, but you get my point. It’s like we take care of this. Just like we take care of our home. It’s an extension of our home right now from the from the perspective of how do your kids view the church as a people, there should be the same kind of, um, reverence and respect and honor for and excitement truly for building relationships, building God’s church, and having a commitment and a devotion to God’s church and looking like asking ourselves questions like, hey, do my kids think I look forward to going to church? Or do they think that I am burdened by going to church and that that would be one of the best questions, right? Like or if another another good question would be, do my kids see me being committed to a local body, or do they see me uncommitted and talking about God and Christianity and even church all the time? But yet they don’t see the fruit of me being actually committed to people and serving in a body.

And I think that there’s there’s just a lot of really healthy questions that as parents, if we were to really recognize that what we do has a really profound impact on our kids, maybe even more so than what we we say to them, because more is caught than taught. If we started asking ourselves questions like those, we might come up with some answers that are kind of hard for us to hear at times, but in a good kind of way, in a way where we as parents get convicted and we get challenged to have to grow. So today we’re going to do things a little bit differently, obviously, since Isaac is gone. I’m here on my own, but I want to ask you guys to grab a piece of paper and a journal. Something like that. Your Bible, a pen, something to write on. I’m going to share with you guys some of the verses that I want to go through with you so that you can look them up, look at the verses that are before and after it as well. Um, but also I want you to ask yourself these same kinds of questions.

The first one was how do your do your kids view the church? Do they view it as a place or a people? Might be a good table conversation, a good family dinner conversation, just to kind of hear what your kids think. Ask them without prompting them so that they feel like it’s a safe place to answer. There isn’t going to be a wrong answer, and you can even tell them that there isn’t a wrong answer. We want to know how you view the church. What is the church? And when you get into asking those kinds of questions, that’s a really good like spiritual thermometer, if you will, for seeing where your kids are at as far as their observance, as well as their own personal opinions and maybe even their own experiences and how those have played into what they believe. Another question that might be a good family table talk kind of question would be do you love going to church? So going to church would be referring to either going to the meeting, the gathering time, the Sunday morning or Bible study or youth group. Do you do do your kids communicate with you? Has there been an opportunity for them to sit down and communicate about what they do like? And then asking them why they like that? Recognizing that little kids oftentimes like if something’s fun, they’re going to obviously be like, oh yeah, I love church because it’s fun.

Right. But do they love going to church for the reasons that God wants them to love going to church in addition to fun? God isn’t against fun. He loves fun. But getting past that initial answer of oh yeah, it’s fun or it’s fine is going to be really important as far as fully understanding what your kids are experiencing when they go to church and who they interact with at the church. So here are some other questions that might be good table talk questions. Do they love the church? Meaning as a whole or do they have a tainted view You of God’s church and his people. And why is that? Another question would be, do you love the specific church that we’re going to and having really I just want to say something. Um, I recently wrote a post. Um, I was actually a real where I just shared briefly about how when I was younger, as a mom, I. Or maybe it was just younger as a woman, just in general. I remember I struggled with having a more critical spirit. Um, much more than I do now. But I think that since being in ministry full time the last six years, as well as, you know, planting home churches and along with my husband, obviously he’s the one planting them and I’m helping him. But the same goes for planting a traditional brick and mortar church, although it’s not really traditional for in a white tent.

Right. But no, it is. Um, I am looking back over the years, and I and I remember that the years where I was involved, but not so involved that I was like running it with my husband. I had definitely had a more critical spirit and I have failed. If I was to evaluate and say, hey, did my kids actually hear me sharing those critical thoughts? They probably did. And I remember that there were some times where I actually do believe that it was justified. Like, if you hear a false teaching, you need to correct that with your kids right away. Um, helping teach them the importance of judging within the church and discerning what’s biblical perspective and what is worldly perspective. All of those things are valid, and they’re important, especially for parents today, because there is a progressive and woke Christianity and even New Age stuff that has been seeping into churches all over. And so we have to be on high alert, especially as parents, to protect our kids and to protect the doctrine, for sure. But let me just tell you, if it’s stuff about like, oh, I don’t like that person, or I didn’t like the worship today, or did you hear that? How that got messed up or whatever it is like? That’s more of a critical spirit type of complaint versus something that’s constructive criticism. That’s important for your kids to learn regarding spiritual discernment, so that when they’re older and they’re deciding what church to go to, they’re equipped.

Those are two very, very different things, if we’re honest about it. And so we as as parents, we are called to be more spiritually mature than our children. And so we need to take ownership over the times where maybe we took it too far and we need to tell our kids, hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said this and this. All I needed to say was this. Um, and the truth is, is that that’s really important because otherwise you could be passing on a generational sin of having a critical spirit and what it might end up. I’m not saying it’s going to bear the fruit, but it might end up bearing a fruit where your kids, they just think so highly of themselves and them knowing it, right, that no church is going to be good enough, and then they might not end up being committed to a church when they’re older. And that would be really devastating. So there is a really high cost to this question. How do your kids view the church? There’s a really high cost. And the reason why I say that is because based upon how you view the church is going to influence and impact how your kids view the church. Your willingness and devotion to the church is going to impact your kids devotion to the church.

And while the church is at times you could call it a place because it’s a place where you go gather together with other people. It’s more the people and the people are not God. So it’s there’s also that distinction of understanding that our interactions with other Christians. When you’re young and impressionable and you don’t fully understand that the church is not God, that God is God and the church is his bride, and that they’re the family of God, there needs to be a teaching to our children of a direct distinction between the two, and that God’s Word is really clear about how Christians are supposed to live, how Christians are supposed to treat one another, how we’re supposed to interact with each other, and that the church, the people in the church are human, so they struggle with sinful nature, so they don’t always do what God’s Word tells them to. And so having that, like very clear teaching that the church is not God, but it is God’s, is going to be an important distinction that we need to teach our kids. Because the truth is, is that everybody experiences church hurt at different points in their life. In fact, I would say that probably everybody has also created some church hurt in their life. Why? Because we’re sinners. And if you’ve ever struggled with jealousy, comparison, judgment, a critical spirit, maybe not being able to bite your tongue or struggle with gossip, or if someone has struggled with, um, not wanting to submit to authorities in their life.

I could literally go over a bazillion things. Maybe someone is too authoritarian and and is harsh in their power. There are so many examples that I could give you of how people experience church hurt. And sometimes that church hurt comes upon us and it has nothing to do with us. It is not our fault. And sometimes we create our own church hurt. And so when we’re raising our kids, because this is such a widely used conversation everywhere today, and everyone has experienced it at some point, and they’re all very vocal about it. The reality is that we all need to need to realize that the church is God’s, but it is not God. Therefore, we always want to stay loyal to God. However, he calls us and tells us through his Holy Word how we should be responding to one another, interacting with one another, loving one another, and be working together. So let’s start diving into some of the scripture I thought I would kick it off with. Psalm 122, verse one. It’s a song of ascents of David says, I was glad when they said to me, let’s go to the house of the Lord. I’m bringing up this verse because I love that it’s got an exclamation point. It says, let’s go to the house of the Lord. Is that the attitude that we lead our families with? With this? Let’s go to church.

Let’s go to the house of the Lord. Or is it more like, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! We’re going to be late. We’re going to be late. Oh, do we have to go again? That’s a really good question. And if we ever sense that. Oh, do we have to go again or I don’t want to go today from one of our kids. One of our teenagers. We must. As parents, we must engage. We don’t sweep that under the carpet. Maybe we don’t deal with it at that moment. Or maybe we do, depending on how long the car ride is to church. But we need to make sure that we follow up and that we really dig in with. Why did they say that? Why do they feel that way? Maybe it’s because there’s a person there that has created some kind of hurt in their life, and they want to avoid it. Maybe they’re in sin. And for them, going to church is convicting. Maybe it’s that they are really struggling with selfishness and they really just want to sleep in. And there’s just this, this, the weight of their focus on themselves and how they’re feeling is taking precedence over obeying what God wants us to do. These are all really worthwhile, good questions to be asking that we need to dig in with our kids. I think another scripture when it comes to going to church that comes to mind is Hebrews 1024 through 25 says, let us consider how to stir one another up to love and good works.

Now, obviously we can’t do that unless we’re at church together or we’re seeing one another like face to face, right? I guess you could text people and encourage them to do good works, but you’re not going to meet those people to be texting unless you go to the church, right? So, um, it just says, let us consider how to stir one another up to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near. Now another translation says, not neglect the gathering, right? So this one is the ESV version and it just says meet together. But the gathering is one other translation, and that’s talking about the Sunday meeting is literally talking about the church. Like when people say, hey, are you going to church on Sunday? They literally mean the gathering. The meeting. Right. And so that is distinctive in that God is literally saying, don’t neglect going to that. You know why? Because we’re supposed to have fellowship with one another. But when we look deeper into acts, first Timothy, second Timothy, there’s a lot of description for what the church meeting is supposed to look like. And it includes the apostles teaching, which would be reading the Bible includes breaking of bread, which could be fellowship and communion.

It includes prayer. And then we see from Psalms and other places in Scripture the importance of worship. And so when we don’t go to the gathering time where all those things are taking place, we’re missing out big time. And we need those things in our life to keep guiding us, to convict us, to keep us in fellowship. Um, not only that, but shouldn’t we want to? I go back to this Psalm 122 one let us go to the house, to the Lord. And it’s like there’s an there’s an exclamation point and there’s there’s capitalization. There’s excitement there. David even says, I was glad when they said to me, let us go to the house of the Lord. We should have a heart of gladness, and so should our children. And if they don’t, we need to start asking ourselves why. So another scripture that I want to share with you guys is in Ephesians two, verses 20 through 22. It says, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone in whom the whole structure being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. So obviously he’s using a building structure analogy here to talk about people, to talk about himself as a cornerstone, the leading the leader. And he is built. He is the one that’s building it up. God chooses who’s a part of the church.

We don’t choose who’s a part of the church. And that’s another concept that’s super important for our kids to understand. Have your kids ever gone to Sunday school or gone to youth group? And they’re like, I really don’t like that person, mom. And regardless of if they have a good reason or not, the truth is, is how we should biblically be responding. Aside from, like, asking more questions as to why? Because that might give us some wisdom in guiding our child to have a better perspective. The bottom line is that we don’t get to choose who’s a part of the body of Christ. That’s God. God does that choosing, and our call is to love the body of Christ. We are called to love the bride. So here we are in Ephesians 220 and it continues on saying. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the spirit. So we see from other scriptures as well the importance of being one, being committed to one another, and being in relationship and understanding that God is the one that is choosing who is a part of the church and that he’s the one doing the building. And I think that this is something that a lot of adults could probably benefit from realizing that they don’t get to choose who’s a part of it. It’s not a social club. It’s not a community club. It’s not a clique.

Church is God’s. It’s his bride. And he gets to decide who is a part of it. Colossians 316 says, let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly. That happens a lot as we’re walking in fellowship together, being a part of a local assembly, and we’re rubbing on each other and we’re challenging each other in Scripture. That’s that’s one way that it happens. It’s not the only way, but it’s one way. Here’s the other aspect of being part of a church. Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom. So teaching and admonishing. That’s like correcting. You have to have invested relationships in order to be able to do that, or people are not going to listen to you. So this is more than just seeing each other at church on Sunday, admonishing one another in all wisdom. It’s it’s God’s wisdom. It’s wisdom. It’s not your wisdom singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts. There’s that word thankfulness again. Thankfulness. If we evaluate, do we have thankfulness? That’s the first thing that we need to be evaluating. Am I thankful for my church body? Am I thankful for the whole body of Christ? Or do I just think of all of the hurts and want to avoid them? That’s an important question that we might need to ask. Bring the joy of music into your home in 2025 with Music Academy.

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And that can only happen when we’re truly operating as members of one another. So here’s the thing. My question for you is not just what are your kids think about church, although that is a valid foundational question that you need to ask. There’s also questions like, do your kids see the value of being a part of a body of Christ? So much so, and understand what God’s Word says about it, so that they will also lead their families and be an active member of the Body of Christ when they’re older. That is part of the whole point behind leaving a Kingdom focused legacy, building the Kingdom of God. We hear on the Creative Parenting podcast. We say all the time that you are doing the Great Commission moms. You’re discipling your kids. That is important work. It’s the most important work. It is contributing to the body of body of Christ. You don’t need to feel like you’re not doing enough. If you are serving your family because that is service. But at the same time, we need to recognize that while we’re building our families and we’re building family culture, there is this beautiful imagery between the family and the image bearing of the family of God. And teaching our kids foundationally with the with the understanding that this is really equipping ground right here as a family to teach our kids how to be a part of the body of Christ in a healthy, productive, activated member kind of way.

And this is super, super important as we’re raising our kids. But listen, if we are not activated, if we’re not committed to a local body, our kids are not going to quite get that. So there’s really a sin there that we need to repent of, turn away from, and we need to choose to be committed to a body so that our kids can learn the importance of that. Now, I know what I just said is probably going to get me so many DMs and emails telling personal testimonies of how I live in a town. There’s not a biblical church here, this and that. And I, my heart goes out to you. We have lived in those same kind of situations. But I would say that if if it’s true, if that is truly the issue, then I would encourage you and exhort you, as a sister in Christ, to start praying and fasting for God, to bring someone to plant a church, or start praying and fasting and asking the Lord if it’s something that he would have you and your spouse do together. And I bring this up because truly, there is no excuse. We are the church. We are the people of God, the body of Christ. But we are also called to be gathering together. You know, it’s it’s interesting because as you are thinking about the different things that maybe your kids get handed down in regards to their perspective on the church.

I have like a whole list that I made out of, like the glass half full kind of things that kids might grasp from mom and dad. And I thought rattling those off might be really encouraging for you guys. Um, maybe it’s convicting, I don’t know. And then I’ll go to my list of the half glass empty list. That’s like warning sign. Warning sign. Don’t pass this on to your kids. Um, but the first thing is, do your kids see the church as a house of prayer? Do they see you in relationship with people who are the church praying together? Because that’s one of the main things that God calls us to do in Matthew 1820. It says for two, for where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, there I am among them. Obviously, when we’re in the gathering and meeting place, prayer is one of the four main elements we are called to be praying for. We’re not a praying church. That’s a problem. If prayer is not a focus, that’s an issue. The second thing I would say is servant heartedness. Jesus himself came to serve, not to be served. So as a church, we can do so much good even in our local communities. If we are working together with other like minded Christians to serve, so much more can be done. I have witnessed it firsthand myself so many times.

But that attitude, that heart attitude of servant heartedness is something that the Holy Spirit prompts and puts in you. But my question is, do your kids see a servant heartedness towards the church in you? Because that is something that we want to pass on to our kids, so it’s something to reflect on. What about looking forward to fellowship? We talked about this briefly. Is that something your kids see in you or not? What about your commitment to the church? Are you a committed person? Are you steadfast? Are you devoted to not just not just the church, but are you devoted to God? Are you devoted to the word? Are you loyal to the people of God, expecting virtue, ready to be there to protect one another’s reputation in the community and band together? Are you one of those people in your church that is into building up the church? When I when I think of building up the church, I think of mentoring and discipleship. I think of investing in relationships and listening and crying and weeping and rejoicing and leading and teaching and and all of all of those aspects. They that does epitomize the Titus two type of relationship that the older generation is supposed to have with the younger generation. But then there’s also this walking with one another and carrying one another’s burdens. And, um, like I said, weeping with those who weep or rejoicing with those who rejoice.

We are called as a body to first and foremost be doing that within the body of Christ. That’s what we’re supposed to be known for and how we let our light shine. Do your kids see that in you? That’s the that’s the real question is, do your kids see you investing in other people, mentoring other people, or being mentored by other people? Do they see you being willing to take a meal to a mom who just had a miscarriage or, or just had a baby, whether that’s mourning or rejoicing, right? Do they see you investing in building others up? Do they see you stepping up and saying, yes, I’ll lead that moms group or whatever it is, right? Because you’re building up the church. What about discipleship? Do you know how to disciple people? Do you know how to share the gospel with other people? I think that this is a foundational question because here’s the deal. If we are doing the Great Commission in our homes, like most of us, courageous moms that listen to the Courageous Parenting podcast would all say, yes, I’m I’m I’m intentionally trying to disciple my children. We would all say I’m intentionally trying to disciple my children. And then there’s different levels. There’s this spectrum of what that looks like, right? But here’s the thing. If our kids have not heard us share the gospel with them, then we haven’t actually fully discipled them. We need to know how to share the gospel with them.

We also need to teach them how to share the gospel with other people. Because if it’s about the Great Commission, it’s then teaching them how to go and make disciples, right? And so as they’re growing up, you’re discipling, discipling, discipling. And then you teach them how to disciple. And that is building up the church. What about selfless heart attitude versus a selfish heart attitude? What do your kids see in regards to your perspective of the church? Do your kids see you viewing the church as a place to get something or to give something to participate, to be a member of something or to take advantage of it? This is so foundational because the heart of that is selflessness versus selfishness. Understanding the church’s is it That is the body, and that when you’re taking, you’re taking away from God’s people. And when you’re giving, you’re giving into that relationship. And so having a heart of wanting to give and generosity, whether that’s with your time, your resources, your skills, your talents, teaching people things, we need to have that heart attitude and to teach our kids how to have that. And part of how we teach our kids how to have that is that they sacrifice when they share. Mom, to be able to go do that. Now let’s just share for a moment about some of the maybe half glass empty types of things that could potentially get passed down.

And I apologize if these are convicting. They were convicting to me and it kind of was like, oh, I kind of had to sit there for a second. And then I confessed it and I repented of it. And I have to tell you, it’s like taking a big load off. It’s like laying down that backpack. Um, my husband’s been, um, studying Pilgrim’s Progress and Charles Spurgeon lately. And we were watching like a little portion of A Pilgrim’s Progress, and he was taking the backpack off. And I literally was like, that is what it feels like when you choose have already made the choice to repent and turn away from your sin. It’s like you don’t even care. You can talk about it to anybody because you’re like, I don’t care if I look bad. I want to glorify God. I’m going to redeem this. I’m going to teach other people the wrong thing I did so they don’t do it. And I just want to share. That’s part of why I’m sharing this with you guys today, is that I know that over the years, there have probably been times where we’ve been in the van on the way home from church where I was Negative Nancy and I, I repent of that and I just think to myself, wow, what a waste of, you know, instead, if you are someone who struggles with having a critical spirit or being negative about worship or about anything, I would just ask you, like.

What has God thinking right now while he’s watching? First and foremost. And does that break his heart that you’re thinking that way? Of his body. And not only that, if you’re a part of that body, you’re talking bad about yourself, too, because you’re part of that body. And recognizing that that a critical spirit will destroy things that will cause divisions. And there is Scripture. First Corinthians 317 says, if anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple. And so, you know, again, it’s that we as the people are God’s temple. And if we’re tearing people down, that is destroying God’s temple, that is tearing them down, that’s disabling them, that’s making them less effective for the kingdom. Instead, we need to be building one another up. Now, when I’m saying this, I do not mean that you turn a blind eye to deliberate sin. That’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is if you’re struggling with jealousy or competitiveness, or if you’re struggling with, um, having an over critical spirit where you’re expecting perfection when it’s not even something worthy of trying to attain. In a sense, and I mean this when it comes to like certain ministry things, like sometimes women especially can struggle with fighting over little details that literally don’t even mean anything when it’s about the bigger picture of serving God.

And so choosing not to be over critical. Choosing to let go and let God is a really, really healthy skill. Um, I also want to just if for those of you who maybe are struggling with this, I’m just going to give you a verse first. First Thessalonians 511 is one of my favorite verses about building one another up, and it’s one worthy of meditating on if that’s something you struggle with. But the next thing would be untrusting. A lot of people who have experienced church hurt, they’re very distrusting of the church and of other people just in general. And that is something that we definitely don’t want to pass on to our kids, intentionally or unintentionally. We want to trust God with our whole heart, our whole mind, our whole soul, and our whole strength. We want to love him with our whole mind, heart, soul and strength. And if we’re not trusting him, then that is not fully loving him, and vice versa. It’s not fully loving to not fully trust. So we need to ask ourselves, do my kids view people in general with such distrust that they don’t trust the church? And if they don’t trust the church, do they trust God, recognizing that they’re two very different things, but that a lot of times kids interconnect them? Here’s another one. The whole attitude towards going to church, being committed, having joy, being excited to go worship the Lord, being excited to learn his word.

Or do you have a dread of going? Or is there more of a legalistic approach to going that you’re just checking off a box and you’re just calling it good, and maybe your kids are seeing some some hypocrisy or Perfectionistic fake, if you will, in the sense where you’re like trying to get all dressed up and you’re doing all these things, but you fought on the way there. Or maybe it’s not truly a reflection of what your life is actually like. And so as parents, we need to make sure that we are not hypocrites. Kids will not listen and obey if they have no respect for you. And one big way for them to lose respect is for them to view you as a hypocrite and not see you working hard. Not see you doing your best. Not see you, um, having integrity with the things that you teach and the things that you do. So it’s super, super important. Here’s another one. Self-focused. So we talked about selflessness. Now they’re self-focused, right. So maybe the temperature in the room is not what you like. You get too cold sitting in church. Or maybe the maybe you’re sitting fold up chairs and and those are uncomfortable. Whatever it is, we need to stop being so self-focused. And instead we need to focus on building the church. And so if those are things that we’ve if you’ve ever struggled with, I just want to exhort you and encourage you in that.

Um, another thing that’s super important for us as parents is to teach our kids that we this life is so our life is like a vapor. We’re literally gone in a heartbeat in comparison to all of time. But we are put here in this generation for a purpose, for a reason. And part of that is that we would be actively participating in God’s body, recognizing that you have gifts and talents that God has given you, and he’s dispersed his gifts and talents among the whole body for the edification of the whole. So if you are not activated and you are not serving, and you’re not being a part a member of the whole, then actually part of the body of Christ is semi disabled or paralyzed, if you will, because one of its members isn’t actually working. Go read First Corinthians chapter 12 for a lot of encouragement. That entire chapter is all about being members of the body, blah blah blah. And it just talks about all the different gifts being dispersed for the edification of the whole. And and he talks about like if one says to the eye, I have no need for you, where would where would sight be, you know, and for all of us to look at that and go, God made me for a purpose, and I need to live my purpose here in this body, because the body doesn’t function right.

And to teach your kids that that is part of their purpose too. Like, I have kids that are married and I have kids that are not married, that are of marrying age. And I have noticed something that in society, when they get to be 18, 19, 20, all the way up into the late 20s, kids at that age, young adults, they feel this pressure that their life doesn’t begin until they get married. And that’s just not true. God has so many purposes for their life, but it’s up to us as parents to be teaching our children what their purpose in life is, so that they’re not just waiting forever for their life to begin on the day they get married, or the day they become a mom or a dad. Life began and there is a purpose for their life today and tomorrow. Yes, give them vision for how wonderful marriage and family life is and raise them to be ready for that. But also raise them to know that God has placed them in a family and in the family of God, and that they have a lot to do in those two things until God brings on the one that they’re supposed to be married to. Another thing that I think is super encouraging in Ephesians 122 it says, and he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church At the end of the day.

Yes, you may have a pastor. Yes, you may have elders. But Jesus Christ is the head of the church. And so recognizing that they have to submit to that authority and that they are his servants, you are Jesus’s servant. You are equals with them. Although there may be some spiritual authority in your life. And recognizing the incredible importance that there is for you to be praying for those that you are under. And what I’m talking about is just church leadership in general, or people who are serving this. Last week I saw it firsthand. Now we’ve been hosting church for many years, and we’ve hosted it in our homes for many years. And and we’ve been a part of churches where we’ve been there to help set up. And it’s a lot of work over the years, as I think back. But we did it with joy. And, you know, what was the most exciting was seeing everybody together and worshiping the Lord together. Fellowshipping together, learning from the word together. Praying together. Breaking bread. Taking communion together. That was beautiful. And I think that if if we as a church started recognizing that when it comes to the the meetings that we have, whether that’s mid-week Bible study or, or men’s meetings or events for the youth or whatever it is, it takes work and the enemy doesn’t like us gathering. He actually we saw this more than anything during Covid, that the best way for the enemy to deceive people is to create isolationism, to isolate you so that you are not in community with other people.

That is where the enemy wants you. That’s where you’re going to be loneliest. That’s where you’re going to be depressed. That’s where it’s going to be hardest to take thoughts captive. That’s where he will win. Battles is when you are alone. And so he does not like it when we gather whatever the form of gathering it is. And so there is a battle that we are in. And if we, as the body of Christ, started recognizing that we need to be praying for these, these, um, different meetings that we have, whether it’s a church meeting on Sunday or a women’s Bible study, like if we recognize that there was going to be a battle beforehand, wouldn’t we be praying against that? Wouldn’t we be helping? Wouldn’t we be caring for the people that are leading a little bit more? I just, I for sure think so. And I think that’s something we need to model to the next generation, because it is exhausting when you are trying to serve God and you don’t really know if people are praying, you’re like, you’re praying, but you’re like, I don’t know if people are praying. I’ve been there before. Never want to go back to that again. But I will say that if you are a person that struggles with with criticism, or you’ve struggled with a critical spirit, or you’ve struggled with preferences that are not eternal things.

There are not things worth creating division over because there are very few things there’s. We need to keep doctrine straight, but there are very little things. And Paul exhorts us all in that over and over again in his epistles. But I will say that one of the best ways, and this is one of the habits we got to teach our kids. One of the best ways to not be critical is to pray for other people and to pray for the ministries. So that is my exhortation to you that you would start picking up your Bible and praying the Word of God for your church along with your kids. And when they start having complaints, or they tell you about someone that they don’t like or something that they didn’t like, I would encourage you to lead them in prayer, because if you are able to lead them in prayer over and over and over again, that is what will change the future church, the next generation of church. So thank you so much for joining me today. I hope you guys have an awesome week! Hey, thanks for listening and being a part of the 10 Million Legacies movement. Go to be Courageous Ministry. Org for more biblically based resources, ways to switch where you spend your money that support the mission and information about the incredible Be Courageous app community for believers.

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