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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom and Isaac.

From Resolute Man Together pursuing the mission to impact 10 million families and their legacies for the Kingdom of God.

We’ve been married for 23 years and are seeing the fruit from raising our nine children biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children, as too many from Christian families are walking away from their faith by the age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

We’re praising the Lord that the ministry continues to expand and impact more legacies. We couldn’t do this without you. Whether you pray for us, give us five star reviews, or share on social.

Or even if you purchase courses and merch, or join the Be Courageous app community, enjoy the coffee or support financially. We’re so thankful you are a big part of the 10 Million Legacies movement.

If you want access to all the episodes, show notes, and other biblically based resources, go to Be Courageous Ministry.

History.org join us as we start another important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world. Hey, welcome to the podcast. Hey, guys. Wow. Talking about time management with kids is so important.

Especially.

During this time of year. I mean, there’s a portion of the year where the majority of society tends to have a transitional break. It’s called summer. Um, even if you are homeschooling, a lot of homeschoolers will lighten up. Maybe they’ll do a different curriculum on the side, or maybe they’ll do a light continuation of school that we’ve done that over the years, for sure. Um, but regardless, there’s two really big transition times. Well, then there’s some minor ones, like when there’s Christmas break and so forth. So I think that this topic is relevant all year throughout all seasons of parenting, regardless of how old you are, because time management is something that all people get challenged with at times, right? Isaac.

Yeah. And I think it’s more important than ever. I think we’re going to be seeing more and more Christians entering into entrepreneurship. And even if your children don’t. It is how it is. One of the key attributes of why people make progress within companies too. So either it lends them to be able to do entrepreneurship because they’re self-disciplined, they’re good with their time and they’re proactive at doing hard things and these kinds of things, or those are the people that get elevated in work environments. And if things change and so forth, and people are laid off, usually the most valuable people in a company are the ones that get to stay on.

That’s right. So I also think from a mom’s perspective, how much time management goes into managing my home, managing my day, many different people’s schedules, which at times, you know, when it comes to communication, especially as your family starts getting older and you’re trying to do holidays, it can be even trickier. But that’s why it’s so important that everyone is actually good at managing their time, because then it makes it easier for you guys to be able to find time together. Yeah. And so, um, you know, I think that there’s also this element of, you know, our ministry, courageous Parenting. The tagline for the last five and a half years since we began was raising confident Christian kids for an uncertain world. Right? So there’s this part of that tagline raising confident Christian kids. What do we want for our kids? There are many things that we all want for our kids. Obviously, there’s the spiritual legacy aspect of it, them knowing God and wanting to live for him and live out his purpose for their life. And and that’s something that is unique to each person.

But then there are some collective things that are the same, like the Great Commission and loving God, right? And making him known. But then there’s this other element of like wanting your kids to be successful, wanting them to be productive, wanting them to be able to contribute their best, give their best contribution to society wherever they live, right, or to their communities, to their churches. And the reality is, is when your kids grow up and they launch, right, because we’re raising confident Christian kids to launch from our homes. Time management is one of those skills that I think is is not taught very often in schools. Right. What are your kids actually experience? If they go to a school, what they’re experiencing is someone else managing their time for them. Yeah. And they’re just following along. Stand in this line. Go to this class. The bell rings. Go to your next class. The bell rings. Go to recess. Right. Like. And even with church and different things, there’s a schedule of events, and they’re following the leader, if you will.

Well, there’s a lot of you can read back. The industrial revolution really moved forward, how schools were ran and so forth. And there’s some thought that all of that was to create factory workers, and not that there’s anything wrong with working in a factory. But, you know, it definitely isn’t for everybody, right? People all have kinds of gifts and talents and abilities and and as far as making progress in uncertain times, you know, I think you want your kids to be able to make progress. And, you know, so kids, all that kind of controlled methodology doesn’t really lend to good time management. Also, micromanaging your kids if that’s your style of parenting, that also doesn’t lend well to giving space for your children to manage their own time.

That’s right.

It’s interesting because when I look back over the years, I think I was much more of a micromanager, especially in those early on years of homeschooling. I was really, um, hypersensitive, if you will, to other people’s outside judgments of what our homeschool looked like. And I honestly, I, I had to detox and that took a few years for me to truly understand that homeschool didn’t need to look like what my traditional public education looked like. And I share more about this in the Homeschool Blueprint course, which you can find on our website at Be Courageous Ministry. Org. But essentially, like recognizing that one of the best things that I could teach my kids is giving them some space to have to manage their own time, and that that is actually part of their education, too.

All right. We’re going to get all into this. I do want to start with a scripture. Proverbs 16 three. Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established. First and foremost, teaching our kids to commit their plans to the Lord, to make sure they’re on the right track. To make sure God’s involved in giving them wisdom and so forth. But we have something to talk about.

You know, it’s interesting, as we’re starting this next school year, I’ve shared a couple times about the curriculum that I’m using with the kids this year, where we’re going with master books. And if you haven’t heard of them, I’m going to share briefly if you’re watching our YouTube channel. By the way, I don’t know if you knew this. We have a YouTube channel. We just hit.

Half a million views, 494,000 of which are from this year, because we really just restarted the YouTube.

Yeah. So the YouTube channel got started like the last week of December, probably something like that, right? And so it’s exciting. So thank you to those of you who are watching. But if you are watching it really.

It really is part of the double impact vision for this year. So if you love the episode, please share it. Comment everywhere. It helps the algorithms, whether it’s on YouTube or Apple. Google play Spotify. Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss them. So they’re teed up and you’re getting a regular flow of the good, courageous parenting wisdom.

That’s right. And you know, every week for the last couple of months or two, we’ve been sharing some really special insights about different sponsors. And one of them that we’ve been working with for the last couple of months is master books. And so if you’re watching the YouTube channel, you can see one of the curriculums I’m using with my eighth grader this year. It’s called The Stargazers Guide to the night Sky by Doctor Jason Lisle. And what I love about this, this is this can be used with seventh graders or eighth graders as a one year curriculum for science, but they actually have like nine different science curriculum options for like 14 year olds, which is like rad, because when you go to like a school, you really only get to choose between like 1 or 2. And what’s also awesome about this? All of master books curriculums are vetted by a team of people who are making sure that it’s coming through a biblical worldview, which obviously is very different than what your kids are going to be getting in a school system as well. And so I’m really excited because this curriculum I’m going to be using with my middle schooler has the teacher guide in it. I’ll just show you briefly for a second. It goes through and tells you that the lessons are about 30 to 45 minutes. Hey, that’s awesome. 30 to 45 minutes. And and I have little kids that’ll probably be listening in because they’re really excited about learning about stars, right. And looking at telescopes and different things in the night sky. Right now we have a lot of smoke. And so we have to wait to get started till the night sky clears up a little bit.

But what’s awesome is the different images, the beautiful images that are in this curriculum on every single page. There’s so much scientific evidence. Um, doctor Jason Lyle is a PhD and a masters as well, and he just kind of goes through it with you, um, through a biblical worldview, how to view the cosmos and just grow in a in a deeper respect and awe of our creator, which that really is the ultimate goal as we’re educating our kids. You know, when it comes to science, wouldn’t we want that to be pointing to our creator and revealing his glory and His Majesty, rather than creating opposition in something that’s going to be tempting our children to doubt? And so I just love that. Meanwhile, I’m also going to be reading Defeating Darwinism with that eighth grader as well, which is a book I absolutely love. But if you are interested in learning about more about master books, we’re actually hosting a giveaway along with them. So go to Master books.com/courageous to enter the giveaway. There’s three different packages of my favorite curriculums, one for either young kids, middle aged kids, and then high schoolers. So you can kind of see the things that we’re using this year as well. Um, and we just absolutely appreciate that there is a curriculum company out there that is is doing due diligence to bring forth really powerful material that is also vetted and in alignment with God’s Word, and not going to be in opposition to it. So. So again, Master Books.com forward slash courageous.

Go check it out. Let’s dive in. So the first, um, point on this teaching your children time management, equipping them for a different world they’re going to be launching into that requires, in our opinion, more self-discipline than ever, an ability to manage their time well is the first thing is, you got to give them opportunities to manage their time. Likely they already have some of those opportunities, but here’s the last piece that’s so important while observing them, they don’t need to know that you’re observing them. It’s better, probably if they don’t. But you need to be paying attention. It’s one thing that your children have things to do. It’s another thing when you’re paying attention with an eye towards how are they at managing their time? How quickly do they get distracted? How much time can they spend in one sitting doing something right?

Uh, are they giving their best, or are they just doing what is gonna be sufficient? Right? Like, that’s a really big deal. Colossians 323 says, whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. Serving the Lord Christ.

And it’s good to use these scriptures with your children as you’re teaching time management too. We’re giving you, for at least in this episode, that you should jot down. You can always get the show notes at Courageous Parenting.com to get those, you know, just listed off, and you can take a screenshot of them on your phone and then have those scriptures to as you’re teaching your children time management. But yeah, it’s key.

You know, it hit me, Isaac, one of the things that we talk about so often is that discipleship is not an event. It’s not like a curriculum where you sit down and you have this like specific thing that you’re necessarily teaching, although that will happen in the discipleship process. And we talk more about that in the Parenting Mentor program and the actual like lesson that’s on discipleship, right?

It’s amazing.

Yeah, yeah. And but this actually what we’re going over with you guys today, these these 3 or 4 tips or processes in teaching time management is actually what we say. Discipleship is woven through the fabric of your daily lives with your kids. And so your kids like what we’re going to be sharing with you guys today. They’re not going to feel like mom and dad are teaching at them like pounding in, are you? Did you check things off your box? Did you do this? Did you do that? Although checklists can be really helpful, especially with how certain kids are wired, right? But with some kids it might not actually be the way that is best for them. And so having this subtle woven through your daily fabric, the daily fabric of your lives way of teaching time management is actually going to be much more empowering to them because it will become part of their way of life.

So you’re going to notice you’re going to pay attention. And they might all be in different places with their ability to manage time. Do you know? I mean, you probably heard me say this before, but Harvard Business Review, not that that’s a great publication or anything, but back in my business days, I used to look at it once in a while. They did have a good stat that it takes 17 minutes for someone to get back to the same level of focus they were in before they were distracted with the notification. Looked at their phone, someone said hi to them, 17 minutes.

That’s a long time.

And so the truth is, most people never actually get to their full momentum and best work because most people in society today are distracted within 17 minutes. I know that’s a significant challenge for moms, for example. Right. And part of what they’re doing and.

For dads who work at home.

Yeah, that’s true.

But in addition, if you’re trying to get really good work, like if your children are writing a paper or they’re reading a book or they’re doing art or something like that, it’s going to be hampered with distractions. And so what the challenge today is people are seeking distraction. So you want to raise kids that are not seeking distraction? What do I mean by that? Well, they’re drawn towards there’s this FOMO. They’re drawn towards fear of missing out. For example, did I get a text message? Now, I know if you have younger kids, they probably don’t get text messages, but all, all kinds of parents listen. But you know what’s happening in the other room? They might come out and say, I’m hungry, but really, they just have fear of missing out and they’re distracted from their work.

You know what I think is probably the biggest temptation when I reflect on my own life is when I’m doing something that I actually don’t want to do. That’s when the distraction factor is a harder temptation. Yeah. And I think that we need to recognize that for our kids. So if if a kid doesn’t like science, for example, or math, and you have said, hey, have you done your math homework yet? Right. And they’re like hating that thought it might be harder for them if they have the temptation easily, readily available. So, you know, on this, this would be a perfect opportunity for you to teach some self-discipline to your kids in regards to. Okay, well know yourself. What is your biggest temptation? Getting distracted by checking text messages like you just said. Let’s just use that. Let’s just say that there’s like a high schooler that needs to do math homework, and they hate math, and they just keep going back to the phone. So they’re getting distracted over and over and over again, which means that they’re really never optimizing their focus. Right. And so having that conversation and going, hey, I know you don’t like this, but this is something you have to do. And this is why.

And you need to be self-disciplined and you need to have self-control. And if you can’t sit here at the table and exercise self-control and not look at your phone, then maybe you need to discipline yourself by moving that phone to a different location. So it’s not something that’s readily available for you to grab. And I think that that’s like a perfect example of what it looks like to discipline yourself, and I think that so can I just say, I think that that’s something that a lot of parents don’t think about teaching their older kids. Yeah. To discipline themselves. But the reality is, is the Bible actually charges us to have self-control, to have self discipline. Paul talks about it in regards to bodily. Um, just exercising your body and running your race. And I think that there’s a huge lesson for us in recognizing if we’re going to launch confident kids who are going to be productive. They’re going to work heartily as unto the Lord. They’re going to be reliable, trustworthy, whether they are entrepreneurs or working for a master like we want them to have good, godly character. And so that means that they have to learn self-control and self-discipline. Yeah.

And that’s our second point, which is but it’s more than that. It’s to motivate them to be self-disciplined because nobody really does things with all their ability and motivations.

Unless they love it.

Why? If they understand why it’s beneficial to them. Even the hard things that you’re mentioning that you don’t want to do. How do you get yourself to do those? Because you understand why it’s important. There’s something bigger than the thing that’s important to you, and so you’re willing to do hard things and things you don’t like, because it leads to a greater thing that you do like. And, and I just want my children to be motivated to be self-disciplined people. That could be motivation in and of itself. Why do you follow through? Because you’re working a muscle of being self-disciplined, and if you shortcut this thing, you’re going to shortcut the better things. And so you have to motivate them on what the why is and and motivate me to do that. And I one thing several things you can share with your kids. But people that aren’t self-disciplined, they pretty much stagnate in their roles in life. And if they want expanded roles in life, they have to show that they’re self-disciplined. Not by what they say, not by what’s on social media, but what they actually do, the reality of their life and what people see and in real time. And so Self-discipline is what yes, yields to great entrepreneurship, right? But it also yields to people making progress in businesses and companies as an employee.

People that are proactive can take initiative and get things done. Even the hardest things, and even do those hardest things first, are the ones that looked at as employers. Wow, that person stands out. Their attitude is great, their character is great, but I know they’re going to get it done. And by the way, businesses are ran based on revenue. Okay. There’s some that are purpose driven too, but if there’s no revenue, they’re not going to be able to keep being purpose driven. Revenue matters, okay. And it’s not a bad thing. And when they’re looking at your children, when they’re older, they’re going to care about is this person going to make the company more revenue. And people are proactive, diligent, self-disciplined are the ones that are valuable and that make them X number of more revenue by their actions and can trust them. They’re also people that are considered for leadership, for management, for these kinds of things. And it’s because it’s the same quality that would work well for entrepreneurship when they’re managing their own business. And so self-discipline, they have to be motivated. So painting those pictures, you know, either you’re going to be self-motivated or you’re going to be micromanaged at a lower role in your life.

And that’s a.

Choice because anybody can learn that. Right. And so I think that that’s what it really comes down to is what do they want for their life? Do they see the purpose behind having a choice, recognizing that we do have choices in this life? I think that that’s one of my biggest faux pas, or issues with the public education system, is that there is this underlying, um, compartmentalized way of educating people to make them all fall in line and be a certain way and do a certain thing. And I think that that’s one of the beautiful aspects that, you know, as parents, when we recognize that we can try hard to have out of the box experiences for our kids. Um, even if you can’t homeschool per se, right? Like, what are you doing extracurricular wise, where you can be helping your kids to learn self discipline and learning self discipline? I don’t want you to be confused and thinking that just because your kids are doing a sport where their coach is helping them to be self disciplined in physical exercise, for example, that that is like that is still being managed. Is your child going to continue working out after that sport is over on their own free will, choosing to be disciplined themselves because that if they can take something that they have learned and it becomes a lifestyle that is a choice that they are made and they’re intrinsically motivated to do that, then that thing that they were doing before that sport activity does reap a positive benefit in your child’s life. If it does not, then you need to evaluate and go, okay, so that didn’t work. We’re not going to do that again. Let’s find something else that’s going to help my kid to be intrinsically motivated.

Yeah, because in.

The sports thing, they could be motivated to work out just to win and be stronger and knock people over. Right. That I want to be stronger and bigger and more muscular so we can win so our team can win. What happens when there’s no team anymore?

Right? Yeah.

The motivation if the why is is singularly focused on a sport that’s a problem.

Yeah.

So you know, as parenting like understanding that those can be great. Like pivotal experiences for your kids to understand what it feels like to have a reason for why they’re doing something. But then don’t let it stop there. Like you need to take it a step further and go, okay, so what are you intrinsically motivated to do in your life? And how can we help you to remember that cause remember that motivation and support you in being diligent and focused and committed to what you desire. And I think that that really like and this is something you can even do with a kid who’s playing soccer when they’re nine years old. Like, yeah, that’s great, buddy, but here’s the real thing you should be thinking about. Like, are we having those conversations in the cars with our kids after the games, after the practices?

It even has to do with your littles, your three year old, your two year old, your four year old, your six year old. Cleaning the room, putting toys away. Right? And here’s a scripture you can use with all aged kids, which is Proverbs six six through eight and it says, go to the ant, O sluggard. Consider her ways and be wise. Without having any chief officer or ruler. She prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. Wow, that one is powerful because it is directly talking about the example of not having a ruler, a chief, a boss, for example. Right.

Micromanaging.

Micromanaging, mother. And this one. And you can start this and create intrigue with your kids. Just got to be like the ants. What do you mean, mom? And then you can teach the scripture. It’s such a it gets their attention.

And it really talks about.

Not being a sluggard. What is a sluggard? A lazy person?

Lazy.

It’s self-gratifying seeking comfort only and selfish. Isn’t that what a sluggard is? That’s what leads to those actions. I’m just going to do what feels best in the moment. I don’t care about the future. I’m not even thinking about the future. Not even thinking about the ramifications of me eating cake every single day. I’m not thinking about it. I just want comfort. And if you raise kids that only want comfort, they’re going to have a terrible life.

Mhm.

Seeking comfort. The Bible doesn’t give us prescription to seek comfort. Mhm. It actually gives something very different. Now it’s okay to live comfortable lives and enjoy things and rejoice. And God made raspberries taste good for a reason. He could have made them not taste so good. Right. There’s lots of God is good, and he wants us to enjoy and have joy and so forth. But it’s not. But our purpose in life is not to seek comfort. Mhm.

Let’s go on to the third thing that we wanted to talk to you guys about. And it’s teaching this concept of time management to kids, because we know that God calls us to be stewards and biblical stewards of the things that he’s given us, and he’s given us all an undisclosed amount of time that we are to steward. Time is truly our greatest commodity. You know, Isaac and I are pretty passionate about that, and we try to do our best with our time. We don’t really have extra time for laissez faire, um, sitting around mulling about things because we we’ve chosen certain things in our life that we feel called to. You may not feel called to them, but they’re things that we believe God has called us to, um, whether that’s a specific lifestyle, so that we can be teaching certain children those skills because we we wonder if maybe that’s part of their purpose that God has for their life. And we want them to learn and grow in that as much as possible, or even just looking at the world around us and saying, Lord, you’ve given us this land, how can we steward it for your glory and bless other people and take care of our family and be tending the land.

And I think there’s something really powerful in that. And I know that that’s not for everybody, but for us, that’s something that we’ve been called to. We know that because God gave us this place, and in that there has been a lot of lessons, there’s been a lot of lessons as far as like being diligent, having hard work ethic, being faithful, being a wise manager of the land. Um, you know, recognizing, oh, wow, I can’t handle that. So maybe that has to go off the plate. And I have to say no to that so that I can say yes to this actually producing more fruit. Right. There have been sections of the property that were like, you know what? This year is not the year for that section. It’s just not. And you just you have to be okay with that so that you can say yes to the garden or yes to having cows or whatever it was. Right?

You know, it makes me think of, too. I was just thinking this this morning, actually. Do you ever get that moment of feeling overwhelmed? I think everybody raises their hand to that, right? Yeah. And, uh, I feel overwhelmed sometimes, And it’s a human feeling. And we have a choice when we’re feeling that way. Okay. You can feel weakened by it and stay weakened by it. Okay. And that is just going. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do. And you just kind of. And then you let it sit and you just keep doing things, and then that’s not helpful because that’s still there. You’ve allowed that feeling to be permanent. And I just refuse to allow that feeling to be permanent. I just refuse it. I will not allow being overwhelmed to stay because it weakens me even further from getting my things done that I need to get done that God’s calling me to do. I don’t need to know how I get everything done. I don’t even need to feel like I’m gonna get everything done. I live in an existence where there’s always things that don’t get done, actually. And you know what? Executives of big companies, they live in that existence, too. And so it just depends on what you’re allowing God to do through you. You know, we just committed to planting a church. Why? Because we feel like we’re being obedient to God to do that. Well, what about all the work you do, Isaac? Full time for the ministry? Yep. I’ve got to keep doing that. That is the most important thing we do. This ministry is impacting people in 194 countries. And it’s incredible the impact way over a million people are going to be impacted this year by the ministry. And we thank you for your support, prayers and giving and all the things we need it and it’s important. But I get a little overwhelmed sometimes because I take on some more. So how does that get to give? Well, I got to get better. And that’s the choice. That’s the choice I make is like, okay, I got to trust God and I’ve got to get better.

And there are some I’ve got to say no to.

Also. And I think that that’s part of prioritizing, which is a really important key. It’s another thing that we want to talk to you guys about, and teaching your kids the importance of prioritizing when it comes to their time. You just can’t do it. All right. And so every human’s been given the same amount of hours in a day. And so choosing to prioritize what is the most important and looking at those different things and going, okay, what enables the other things to get done as well? Those end up being pretty high on my list. Prioritizing relationships is always at the top, whether that’s relationship with God, my husband or my kids. And I think that that’s something that your kids experience. That’s an experiential. They’re going to see that modeled by how you communicate and how you are with them, right. Like if you’re willing to stop doing the dishes or sweeping to kiss the boo boo. Now, I will say there are times when I struggle with that. I’m not naturally artistic, at least not in the fine art sense. So when my kids showed early on that they loved art, I wanted to nurture that creativity. That’s why we love creating a masterpiece. They’re award winning art programs are for everyone ages four ish through 104. Plus, your family gets to practice drawing, using watercolors, charcoal sculpting, painting, and so much more. And the best part? You get to do it all together. Building relationships, making memories, and letting creativity grow. Visit creating a masterpiece.com/courageous to sign up for one low rate for your entire family that’s creating a masterpiece.com/courageous because anyone can create a masterpiece.

Steve and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children.

What Angie and Isaac have done in creating this is literally phenomenal.

This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications.

This class has just really rocked my world.

It has given me the vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids biblically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of the heart.

We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children. We have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in Scripture this is.

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One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year, and I could not recommend it more.

We’re no longer.

Fearing dark days ahead, but we’re so excited to raise lights to be leaders for the next generation.

I’m just going to be really honest with you. I’m not perfect at this. Sometimes I get in my driven, productive mom mode and I’m like, on a mission getting this house picked up. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. And then all of a sudden, a little three year old comes around the corner. I need help, and I’m just like, uh, inside. But I think to myself, I don’t want them to see me grumbling. I don’t want them to feel like a burden. And I go, what is it? And I like, I have to lead myself again, not perfect at this all the time, but but I’m sharing this with you guys because when you’re prioritizing relationships, that’s one example of how it can look prior to prioritizing relationships isn’t always, um, not doing things in order to go out one on one with a kid, although that is important to prioritizing relationships is the daily grind. Little things moment to moment, just as much as it is finding the one on one time with a kid, it’s just as much showing up and being there cheering them on at a spikeball tournament as it is, listening for hours to another kid, talk about a relationship issue or wanting advice on something. And I think that that’s the thing is, like when you are God honoring and you pray that prayer that we read to you, that was from Proverbs 16 three about the Lord directing your plans and committing your ways to the Lord. When you’ve done that, then he burdens in a good way your heart with the the importance of understanding that the first thing he’s called you to is eternal.

And that’s relationships. And so teaching your kids to put relationships over rules, relationships over getting things done is incredibly important. At the same time is how important it is to teach your kids to have good work ethic and follow through and get their things done. And so prioritizing is like a whole nother topic. But this is the thing. Like when you’re having this conversation with your kids because, yeah, you could sit down, you could talk about this at a family meeting. Right? And that would be incredibly powerful for your kids. But they’re really what’s going to be the most impactful is the unspoken, lived out, day by day faithfulness that they experience in their relationship with you throughout your life with them. And I think that that goes un undervalued. It’s undervalued. It’s not something that’s necessarily like, oh, you had me read this specific book on time management, and I really wish you would have taught me how to fill out a planner and this and that, although those things are incredibly important, and I have done that with my older kids at different points, but I also think that there’s this element of like, as humans, we need to have the ability to choose in the moment to have Self-control. Prioritize relationships, but also be a hard worker at getting things done. Understanding that, okay, I can either fold these blankets and put them in the basket and it can take me five minutes, or it can take me ten minutes. If it takes me five minutes, then I have five extra minutes to sit down and read a book.

To my kids.

So now you’re modeling it, which is our first tip. We’re going to rattle off some tips here. You’re modeling for your children how to be. And it just so happens in most homes moms are around the children way more. And so I think it’s really important that moms model good time management and putting relationships first and getting things done and so forth, and that’s hard. There’s a lot of pieces to that. But yeah. Um, here’s a tip to to give your children list management okay. So making lists people make lists in different ways. But it is proven they’ve done studies that people who get everything out of their mind that they need to do or want to do onto paper or electronic device or something. I like journals for kids, then they are not circling those things in their heads anymore, wondering or worried about forgetting them. When people most worry about forgetting things is when their head hits the pillow and they’re thinking about their day, they’re thinking about tomorrow and these kinds of things. And worry can set in simply because they did not write it down. When people actually write something down, they don’t have to. The mind relaxes about it because they know it’s somewhere. And now you can have your best thinking, creative thinking, positive thinking, things like that.

So getting things out of your mind onto paper is vital. Now, when you have things on paper or list the way I do it and the way I’ve taught my kids to do it, is to have a today list and have it this week list at a minimum, have those two lists and here’s how this can flow. So on Monday, you make your list for this week and you make your today list, which come from things on from this week that need to be done. Right. Well, what happens tomorrow? Well, tomorrow you look at you crossed off everything you got done for today. If something didn’t get done for today, what happens tomorrow? Will you put it on to Tuesday? And you’re crossing things off of this week list? What if something just popped up that you need to do? You put it on either this week because today is too full. I don’t want to do it today. It’s not as important as other things is today. And you put it on this week and then tomorrow I can decide if it goes on Wednesday or Thursday or Friday, you know. So you’re managing these two lists? I found that to be incredibly. I can get so many things done.

I don’t miss things. I can run customer service for the ministry, which I’m going to delegate soon to content production, to video production, to content creation, to social media, to, you know, the church plant stuff to, you know, things with the family around the property, all the different things, financial investments, different things that are going on. How? Because I have huge lists that I’m checking off and knocking things out. How does that now you know what it also enables you to do? Celebrate. You can’t celebrate if things are meandering in your mind and not written down, because you’re still meandering about a couple of things you never wrote down. Instead of celebrating about the nine things you got done. And so it’s really important that their celebration. What does it enable you as a parent to do if your children are doing this? It enables them to celebrate with their parents because the parents know they can celebrate because they’re like, mom, look, I got these things done, which is super cool. Now what does it also enable you to do? Prioritize. Prioritize the things that are most important, usually the hardest things, and teaching your children to do the hardest things first. The hardest things first.

That’s one of the biggest. How do you know.

What’s the hardest thing if you don’t even have a list of things, you haven’t even been thoughtful about what your things are. See, everything’s out of whack and it becomes this just overwhelm, chaotic brain thinking, cycling that ruins your best thinking and positive nature about yourself.

It probably even ruins productivity because you never know if you’re actually getting things done. Or maybe you don’t feel good about the things that you’re getting done because you have this big thing looming that you should have gotten done first, right? Like so. For me, if I don’t get the hardest thing done first, then it just actually makes every other thing that I’m trying to get done agonizing in the process, because I feel this guilt of needing to get that other thing done. And so it really is an important it’s an important skill. I’m going to call it a skill because this is really something that you have to learn, just like how learning to sit and listen and be still is a skill. Right? And it’s it’s counter to how we were created as humans, right? To actually do the hardest thing first. Most people try to avoid the hardest thing. So it’s counter to who we are in our human nature to do the hardest thing first. It’s also counter to who we are and our human nature to be still and just be in the presence of the Lord, and to hear from him and wait patiently for him to guide you and to be willing to go through whatever sanctification that he’s doing in your heart, so that you respond in the way that you’re supposed to respond to something. Right? And that’s a process.

And so I think that when it comes to like getting things done, there is so much more that is actually taught to our children that is equipping their character, that is building their character. That’s far beyond getting things done. It’s life is not about getting things done. It’s not about how much we got done compared to how much that person got done. It has nothing to do with that. It’s about it’s it’s about the Lord, actually. And so when we put too much of an emphasis on getting things done, getting things done, getting things done, which is sometimes what if you’re just teaching your kids list making only that can actually be portrayed as like, this is how I’m most valued is by working really hard all the time. So when you take this, this concept of celebrating and you put it in there as like, once we get these things done, we’re going to celebrate kids. We call that work hard, play hard. That’s been like one of the Tolpin family models for many, many years. Work hard, play hard. Then it brings some kind of joy and purpose to it. Like, oh, this might be hard right now, but in a little bit we’re going to be at the beach. Well, this might be hard right now, but in a little bit we’re gonna go on that RV trip.

It’s so.

Important. It’s like yesterday we had a cow issue and the on our property and our neighbor’s property, we’re sharing it, doing cows together. There was not enough food anymore because we’re learning. And so the cow, one of them just kept getting out no matter what we did, kept getting out four.

Times in one day.

And that’s dangerous, right? There’s a big road with cars going fast. We can’t have cows getting out that could kill somebody, you know? And so, uh, coordinating with the neighbor and we were going to move him over to this other paddock, I guess pasture. And but it needed all prep work and needed all the, the wires fixed. It needed everything set up. It needed weed eating all around the five acres. It needed all of these things. The water brought over all these things done and we just did a pow wow. Me in the tolpin older kids and we go and we divided and conquered and we celebrated afterwards. And we and I acknowledged in front of the family that night, and we even had a guest over. I acknowledge some of the things that people did well and celebrated because we literally worked nonstop for five hours and we got it done and we moved the cows over, and that was pretty cool. It was.

Amazing. You can you.

Can do incredible things together quickly when you work together. But somebody’s got to be leading and creating lists and people have to be orientated towards, okay, I got my thing done. I’m not done. No, this is a teamwork. Now what’s the next thing to do versus just meandering after they get something done? You’ve probably experienced that with your kids before.

Where they like.

Do the chore you told them to do, and instead of going to the next thing that’s on the dry erase board list, they go to their room and they sit down for a second and you’re like, hey, are you done with that thing? Yeah. Okay, well then come and get a new thing off the list. Why didn’t you just do that? Right? Like, we’ve all been there before, and so teaching your kids, like what you’re talking about? That we’re a team and we’re going to get all of these things done. And so when you’re done with something, you just come to me if you don’t know what to do next. Otherwise, just start doing something next. You know, and and teaching that kind of working together is actually a really powerful experience for them, for their future also. Right. Because you in order to get big things done in life, you’ve got to be able to work as a team.

Now, this is hard for anybody to do to themselves. This next thing I’m going to teach you. But if you can teach your children to do this, it’s incredible. It’s to discipline themselves, meaning that they have their list. They have things if they procrastinate, if they allow things to sway them, if they if they’re a little bit lazy and they don’t get their stuff done.

Or they don’t have a good attitude to.

Actually have them themselves without a parent telling them to call their friend and go, you know what, I just need to get some things done tonight. And so I’m not going to be able to come over. I’m not going to be able to do the thing. If they ever can get to that point where they work a muscle, where they they have this, the sowing and reaping, right?

It’s an integrity thing.

They’re reaping what they sow, and they’re causing themselves to experience a consequence because they want to be self-disciplined. They want to make sure they get their stuff done, and they don’t want that weakness to creep in because you’ve sold them the value of it so much, right, that they cancel something positive. They want to do.

Because.

They didn’t follow.

Through on commitment or something. Yeah. And they.

Go and get it.

Done.

You know, and I think that that’s the hardest thing to teach kids. And I will say that I do think this is yes, for sure.

This is the hardest one.

This is the hardest thing to teach kids. Um, because and we’ve had older kids and I think that some of them are better at that than others, just naturally. Delayed gratification is another thing that can be taught to kids and what it means to delay gratification. It’s not just that there’s a consequence of not getting that thing. That was the example that you gave. Um, but even just disciplining yourself in a sense of like, no, I’m not going to spend this money. Even though I had told myself, I’m going to go do this, I’m actually going to save it for the next bigger thing, right? And so teaching them these principles of of sowing and reaping of self-discipline and following through on their commitment to themselves, because that’s really what we’re talking about. But also there’s this element of like their commitment to other people. Right? And so like when your kids are older, like, do they take care of their rooms and things? This has been a challenge for us with certain kids more than others, for sure. And I think that that’s true in any family. Right. Where some kids just are naturally more inclined to be organized and others less. Um, and I do think, though, that there’s this element of teaching your kids, like, okay, but you have a commitment to the family also. And if you follow through this commitment, then, yeah, sure, go ahead and do that.

But if you don’t, what are we going to suffer for it because you didn’t follow through on your commitment? No, it shouldn’t be that way. You should discipline yourself actually, because you’re older. And so I think that this is it’s a very complicated, hard thing for parents to, to teach their kids. But as we were going through and we were preparing for today, it’s just something that kind of came up that we were like, yeah, we we could be better at that. And I think that you guys, you know, anyone that’s listening, we’re talking about so many different aspects of time management and what are the different character qualities that are being instilled because of all these things. Think about this. We just made a short list. Self discipline is one. Self-control is another. Being a good steward of their time. Faithfulness, right? Because God calls us to be faithful. And he also says that if you’re faithful over little, you will be given much, right? So there’s this element of teaching your kids, like, If God can trust you. That’s something we’ve talked to our kids about a lot in the past is like, Can God trust us? We want God to be able to trust us. And so we are trying to be good stewards because we want that. We want God to be able to trust us.

Okay, here’s a final.

I want to get it in. Here’s a final tip. Is time blocking work expands to the time allotted for it. Someone once said, so work expands so that how long something takes takes longer. If we a lot more time for it.

Wait a minute. It takes.

Shorter if we lot less time.

For it. So if I.

Give myself 30 minutes to shower and get ready for the day, there are times. There are days where it actually takes longer than that. Yeah, and it’s because I haven’t given myself a deadline, right? This is something we were just talking to one of our kids about this morning. Is that like, if I have something I have to be at, isn’t it remarkable that I can literally get ready for the day in ten, 15 minutes and be out here shooting a podcast or be in the car ready to go and go into the errand or whatever needs to be done. If it if there’s a short period of time, we make it happen. As humans, I’m sure you’ve experienced that.

So teaching your.

Children that to put a deadline on it. So. Okay, I’m going to work on this. Well how long are you going to work on it and how much are you going to try and get done during that period of time? Like that can really speed things up. It can become fun to for children, younger children, especially as they like it becomes a game like how fast can I get this done with quality? Don’t sacrifice quality. You got to instill that.

To know halfway.

But you know, getting better at being efficient with their time, getting things done fast and effectively because work expands for the time allotted for it. And some things don’t get all done when you work on them in a day, right? So it’s portioning things out, like, I’m going to work on this for an hour, but for the next.

Hour I’m going to turn.

You know, if you’re older, I’m going to turn my phone off for the next hour. I’m going to go in a different part of the house and do my art undistracted, or do my math undistracted, and I’m going to see how much I can get done in one hour. Understanding that I’m going to get the favor of momentum, because I’m not going to allow any distractions to impact me for a solid hour. That principle is amazing, and they’re going to come out so refreshed, so excited, because they and they got their water ready. There’s no excuse to come get water. They got their snack ready and they go off into the room and they work on it for an hour. There’s no excuses, no distractions, no getting out of it.

We call that.

Knocking it out.

Knocking it out.

But what does that teach for the future? It’s unbelievable when most adults can’t get focused on anything because they’re checking their phone all the time. They’re getting notifications popping in and out all over the place, and they’re seeing it. And now they’re distracted. They think they’re good at it. They think, oh, that doesn’t affect me. It affects you. And it’s going to affect your children too. Yeah, right. So it’s super, super important.

So that would be that would fall under another biblical character quality of being a wise manager. Yeah. Time blocking would be a wise manager. And and there are so many aspects. It’s funny. People are always asking me for Angie, can you do a life in the day of do a, do a life in the day of? I mean, I might do it at some point, but well, you’re funny. I mean, that would just take time in and of itself that I don’t have, but I, I’m living my life right. And and I do time block actually in chunks. I do big chunks of time. So like, here’s my homeschooling time. Here’s our family house cleanup time. Oh, we’re going to work out in the pasture weeding, or we’re going to work in the garden for this chunk of time. And when I have like 4 or 5 big things in a day that need to get done, whether it’s, I got to go buy, get my milk or I got to go to the grocery store, that’s a chunk of time, right? I evaluate how much time is that actually going to take? And then I think about the day, right? When is nap time going to happen? So I’ll schedule anything where I’m going to have to be gone during nap time so that I’m here as much as possible. When my kids are awake and and the older kids will be in charge of the youngers while they’re napping so that they can still get school done or whatever.

Right? Like you, you time block and you prioritize when you’re going to do certain things based upon when it makes the most sense. Right? Like, I’m not going to go out in the hottest part of the day and go sit and weed out in the pasture for three hours with the kids. That would not be smart, but I could do that earlier in the morning when it’s less hot and we could get way more done because we’re not baking out there like in an oven. So you prioritize utilizing wisdom and being wise about the day. And I know that this might just seem super elementary to you, but I think that there’s something really powerful in acknowledging that as adults, we think this way easily, but kids don’t, and they actually need to be taught it. And so teaching okay, we’re going to do this first because it’s too hot. Later you see how your kids like they go, oh, oh they learn it. And so, you know, by the time they graduate, see how it’s woven throughout the fabric of your everyday life. And then they graduate or they launch out into the real world, and they just have this ability to do these things. And it wasn’t necessarily something where they sat down and they did a curriculum on time management, but it was something that was skills, life skills that were taught, woven throughout the fabric of their daily life as they’re doing life with mom and dad.

So let me ask you, what’s better starting things or finishing things. I think you’re going to say finishing things. Well, the Bible does have something to say about this. Ecclesiastes seven eight says, better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. So patience to finish things is what this is saying, and that the finishing is better than the starting. It’s making a point that we need to follow through, and that is.

An incredible.

Thing that needs to be taught to the next generation. Patience is patiently diligent to make sure that we follow through despite any and all obstacles, leaning on the Lord for his help and trusting that he will show up.

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Yeah, that is.

What we need to be teaching our children. So get that scripture to your kids.

So let’s share our unprecedented times tip.

Okay let’s do it. But first just a quick summary. First you got to assess. Then you got to motivate. And then you got to teach the tips. And then you got to model getting stuff done. And you’re not going to do all that in a sitting or something, but those are the points of the episode. But yeah, unprecedented times, isn’t it?

Okay, so we were just talking about teaching your kids time management. We’re talking about evaluating being observant as parents, letting them be tested, if you will, in a sense where you let them try to manage their time and you watch and you see how they’re doing, right. That’s a test. And then you go in and you give some suggestions. You lead, you teach, you motivate, you give them all the whys. But what about us as parents, right? There might be something on your, I don’t know, on your heart or in your mind, a skill or something big even that you want to build, that you’re like overwhelmed because you don’t have the time to do it right. And you’re thinking, how could I add baking bread to my already busy schedule? Like, I remember thinking that way that where there’s a will, there’s a way, and that is true. And so recognizing that these little statements. Right, like, um, what Isaac was just sharing about time I’m expands right for the the time allotted for something. Well, the reality is, is when it comes to baking bread, there’s Susie’s way of baking bread, and then there’s Angie’s way of baking bread. And so you can do the time consuming, you know, stretch the bread four times before you bake it kind of way. Or you can do Angie’s way, which is the nine minute before bed. Let it rise, no kneading overnight and then pop it in the oven after one stretch. Right. And it’s still amazing bread.

Are you gonna put that.

Recipe in the show notes?

Well, the rest.

You gotta be on our email news list for, for the newsletter for for that. And also it’s on Instagram somewhere you can go hunt that down. Um, but I will say my point though is that for years and years and years, I was even deceived in thinking I couldn’t do something as simple as adding baking bread or sourdough bread. Specifically, I used to make whole wheat bread all the time, and I had a daughter that was a huge helper in that. But I didn’t do sourdough because I thought it was this overwhelming over consuming thing because I watched how other people did it. We got to stop watching how other people are doing things, and we need to pray, and we need to just decide if we’re going to do it and if it’s important to us, we’ll make time for the things that are.

Important to us. All right.

We’re going to go more in tips in a second. But I think you created interest. So the next newsletter, which should come out in the next four days, is going to include her recipe on sourdough. Okay.

So make sure you’re on it.

And if you’re not getting emails from us, check your spam. I think we’re getting censored by Gmail, Google and all the things.

We’ve had some issues and.

Put it in your inbox, and then it’ll start going in your inbox again. We’ve had some serious issues with that. So the final kind of tips here on Unprecedented Times is that there needs to be more resolve in the next generation than previous generations. There needs to be, uh, you know, ability.

To try new things, try new.

Things, resiliency, uh, an ability to get more done, maybe even have three different projects going that earn money for future husbands, for your sons.

Um, being open to doing things.

By the way, I really believe that the future is going to demand that people have three sources of income. And ideally that wouldn’t be with, you know, moms feeling like they have to work. It’s ideal if moms are home with the kids, right? That’d be amazing if they want to do extra projects and things, awesome. But you know, your future son’s providing it’s multiple sources of income. And because one is this tumultuous times, one might stop working. You need others that you can pour into, you know? So I just think that this skill, the ability to handle more is vital. And you can only handle more with God, and you can only handle more if you’re good with your time, because we don’t get any more of it.

Right?

Exactly. So you have to be a wise manager of your time. Choose to say no to some things that maybe are not, um, you know, really part of the mission or your passion or the things that need to get done. But maybe they’ve just always been a part of your family. I don’t know, way of life. But is there something that you can cut back on to a lot more time? That’s another way to look at things too. And I know that for us, we we have to be wise about that. And sometimes that looks like there’s way too much than what can be actually accomplished on our plate. I’m just going to be really honest with you. I remember in May when I was speaking at homeschool conferences in Texas, and it was like the busiest season on the homestead. We were getting cows for the first time. I had seeds, thousands of seeds for the garden. And you know what? God is good. I prayed over that garden all the time, and the increase that he has been bringing is just it’s all the Lord. And so I think that when you commit your works to the Lord and you’re willing to be obedient to him and to make changes and to make sacrifices, he is faithful.

And so I just want to encourage you with that, not to let go of the dreams that you have, whether it’s something as simple as adding in baking bread or starting a new business. Right? Like both could be equally overwhelming to a husband and a wife. But the truth is, is that if you’re doing what God has called you to do, if you are committed to doing it for his glory, then he’s going to be behind it. Right? And so we just need to go back to committing our ways to the Lord. And don’t forget to teach your kids along the process. Like share with them. Hey, yeah, mommy’s never made bread, so the first few loaves are probably going to be terrible. Thanks for trying it. You know, like it’s good for them to see you try things and not do it, but not give up because they’re going to be hard things that they’re going to have to do in their life that might not work out the way they want them to at first, but they need to not give up. And and part of that is managing their time and having patience and continuing to not quitting.

So let’s not grow in weakness. Let’s not allow our children to grow in weakness. Let’s instead teach them how to rise up and be more effective and more proactive and more diligent with the time God has given them, which is the same amount of time in a day that he’s given everybody else. It’s what we do with it that matters. We hope this was helpful.

Hey, thanks for listening and being a part of the 10 Million Legacies movement. Go to be Courageous ministry. Org for more biblically based resources, ways to switch where you spend your money that support the mission, and information about the incredible Be Courageous app community for believers.

Also, we wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online Parenting Mentor program.

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