7 Keys To Equip Your Kids For An Uncertain World

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Episode Summary

Fear-based parenting, isolationism, and being too controlling are enemies to equipping confident Christian kids for an uncertain world. In parenting, there is a need for balance in wisely and gradually encouraging your kids to be in the world, while not being of it. It’s in the failure to equip your kids, that you will want to hold on too tightly. In this episode, you will get seven keys to equipping your kids to stand strong in an uncertain world.

In parenting, it is important to instill a love for people in your kids, to teach them to assume virtue in others, and to be wise and seek out fruitfulness.

As your children get older you must give them more freedom to be in the world, not of it, but in it. we mustn’t just tell them the truth, but also let them live it out. how can your kids be prepared for an uncertain world if they are sheltered and never experience it?

In This Episode We Cover:

  1. Experiential Learning Is Important
  2. As They Get Older Give More Freedom To Be In The World
  3. Don’t Just Tell Them The Truth, Let Them Live Out The Truth
  4. Instill A Love For All People
  5. Teach Them To Assume Virtue In Others
  6. Teach Them How To Be Wise And Look For Fruitfulness
  7. Create A Culture Of Serving Others

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Scripture In This Episode:

Proverbs 11:2 –When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”

James 1:2-4 –Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Luke 10:27 – “He answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Galatians 5:22 – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,”

Philippians 2:4 – “Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcasts, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom, and I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married 19 years and have seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically based on the raw truth found in the Bible. We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as a start. An important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. Hey, guys. We’re so glad to be here. We really enjoy this weekly process of encouraging, sharing biblical truth in our experiences as courageous parents. Fellow courageous parents with you, right?

That’s right. We are still in the parenting mode. As you guys know. And so we obviously are trying to live out and take our own advice. But also we hope to also share some of our practical experiences with you guys, both the good things and the hard things that and the mistakes that we’ve made. Totally.

Because those are really the biggies sometimes to learn learn more from other people’s mistakes. Yeah, for sure. So we are talking about equipping your kids to be in the world, but not of the world.

That can be a really hard paradox for a lot of people. Right? Because they’re like, okay, what exactly does that mean? They’ve heard that may that’s like a biblical concept, right? Because we all live in the world. We can’t get out of it right now.

But obviously, the Bible’s pretty clear, even like Romans, 12 talks about having your mind renewed and transformed by the renewing of the word, right?

Absolutely. So we’ll go into this. But first of all, thanks for helping with one million Legacy’s movement, all the shares, all the reviews on iTunes and other places just hits it. Tap it, you give us five stars that helps the algorithms. expand the network and reach of the podcast. So all of that is really cool. We read every single one. It’s precious to us and spurs us on. This is one of our ways to give back and to give value to the world from what we’ve learned. So you’re going to say something about the homeschooling blueprint?

Oh, yes. So you guys know that the homeschooling blueprint is a course that we made for homeschooling parents.

I don’t want to say moms or dads. Right. I can I actually. In some of the videos together. Yeah, absolutely. I’m teaching videos and it’s about six hours of curriculum. Right. Isaac, you know, ish. Six enough hours. And yeah.

Because we have that 45 page forty five page download book.

Right. We call it the roadmap. The road map. The road map to home anyways. So a lot of people have been messaging me going, hey, that looks really cool. So is it an actual curriculum for my kids use or is it curriculum for me? And I just want to say, hey, if you’ve ever wanted to, like, go to a homeschooling conference and learn about how to start homeschooling, what is the what are the first things you want to consider laying a good foundation for homeschooling? That’s kind of this course.

That’s part of the course. And if you’re a seasoned homeschooler, we get tons of reviews from seasoned home schoolers, go through it saying this is like a rocket fuel to helping me get more organized, be more efficient, pick better curriculum, learning styles in my kids, all the stuff.

Yeah, we talk about the different approaches. We can go over how to like a basic practical skills that as moms are super handy, like time blocking when you’re creating your own routine and structure, which is always a popular question.

So it’s approaching 400 families already in the course it launched just several weeks ago. So praise God that is having a big impact. We have tons of testimonials coming through. Lots are up at the Website, at courageousparenting.com, and you just hit the tab and then you can hit homeschooling blueprint. Also, all the resources from this episode in all episodes are there scripture references and so forth. So let’s dive in. So first of all, one of the ways to equip your kids is through experiences, but that takes humility.

So one of the biggest questions or most frequently asked questions that I think we get together as a combined together question is do you guys share about, like, your history when you were a teenager and the mistakes you made, maybe the sins that you struggled with. Right. Whether that be like stealing to, talking back to parents, to being disrespectful to even more like sexual sin and things like that. A lot of parents want to know, like, what do you guys do? What do you think about that? Right. Well, and the reality is, I’ll just share, if you like. Isaac and I have been transparent. We’ve also been very we’re very aware of the spiritual maturity of each of our kids. Yeah. And we are careful about what ages are appropriate for each of the kids to hear and have those conversations.

But it’s really a kid by kid basis because, yeah, age isn’t as relevant as to whether maturity’s.

That’s right. And so the. Isn’t it true we all always say like man. Really don’t want my kids to make the same mistakes that I made. And so one of the best ways for them to be in the world, because we’re all in the world, but not of the world, is to hear how we made our of the world mistakes. Yeah, right. And the regrets that we have.

But we did a whole episode on that, I think. Yeah. We did a whole episode on our parenting mistakes. You can look it up.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, we’ve made more than those. But the whole point, though, is that it takes humility in your parenting to actually let your kids in on the truth about where you were. And can I just encourage you for a moment if you’re kind of scared about doing that? So you have some teenagers, right, in your. You’ve been talking to them about purity and different things. And I’m yeah, I’m diving into the hard topic. And you’re cautious. You’re like, I don’t want to tell them because you think to yourself, well, how can I encourage them not to? If I did. Right. A lot of parents feel that way. Yeah. And I would just say, no, you have to be humble and just share, like, obviously, you know, I can share the details, like, you know. But what I’m saying is share with your kids what your feelings of regret are or just share with them the life lessons that you’ve learned, that the things that God has taught you and maybe the things that you regret. Because the reality is, if we want our kids to stand on our shoulders like there’s this model and a good teacher, right. That their kids would be able to stand on their shoulders and do far better than they can. Right. If you’re going to be a good teacher, that’s actually going to require humility. It’s going to require you to be willing to say, yeah, I really screwed up.

But you’ll never get the opportunity to have those conversations if your kids don’t first feel a absolute love from you. And they need to hear from a young age on this need to be over and over again from a very young age all the way up, ideally. But it’s never too late. But they need to hear I love you no matter what you do. And you know what? That’s when they feel comfortable talking to you about the mistakes they make. We want to, of course, as parents, prevent them from making mistakes. But at the same time, they need to learn from their mistakes. And if they’re only learning purely 100 percent from your wisdom until they’re 18, then they don’t have that experiential learning to.

Right. So that actually brings in another topic as it’s important to have like minded biblical community around that’s willing to also share an appropriate time. Right. Like a brother to a brother sharing about their past mistakes in a humble manner to just so they can hear like, wow, yeah, that was big deal.

But there’s also there’s also really positive experiences, like we encourage our kids to play sports, for example, sports teams, which is equipping in the sense that, well, OK, so first, it’s always fun.

It’s always fun to play a game. Right. But our kids have many of our kids have played sports. And for them to be able to be exposed to non homeschoolers, to non Christians, to Christians who are being raised in. all walks of life, nominal homes, or maybe just don’t know. Right. And for them to have to really grapple with some things, like maybe they hear that nine year old cussing up a storm and they’re like, whoa, why do they have such a foul mouth? And then they hear the parent yelling, shut up on the sideline or whatever, you know, and you’re just like kids. It’s amazing what kids come from. Yeah. And when your kids are exposed to that stuff, like, I know some homeschooling parents or just even parents just in general, hold back. Right. And so I think that it’s important that we realize that that could be a teaching opportunity.

Yeah. So whether you homeschool or not, this is for you. I mean, it’s it’s it’s about, you know, helping your kids be in the world, but not of it. And they’re going to have to learn through experience of doing that while we’re protecting them. And as they get older, it’s a gradual process going. Your next point here. It’s gradual as a young and as they get older at your pace that you feel is appropriate to let them go, do more and more things and experience aspects of, you know, playing on a sports team or, you know, doing debate over here or, you know, the kids had so many different kinds of experiences, whether it was doing like a camp. Kelsey went to Stanford for a summer law and trial program and traveled.

Yeah. I mean, and we also did like summer camp one summer and just different thing. We’ve had lots of experiences over the years and we’ve learned a lot from those experiences. Maybe wouldn’t do some of them over again. But you live and you learn.

And can I just say it’s OK as a parent, it’s OK to make a decision and do something and go, you know what? That really wasn’t the best decision. We’ve done that before. Yeah. We’ve seen the fruit. We’ve gone who maybe that was OK for that kid, but maybe not that kid. And I think that’s how you have to approach parenting.

But you also should never sacrifice your kids purity. Walk with God. Yes. Righteousness just to get experiences In the world, right, exactly. There’s a balance there, and that’s where you have to be a discerning parent.

Right. Because a lot of times people will see, like courageous parenting. They’ll be like they’re surprised when they find out that we’re homeschooling and actually have had a few people like that point that out. And and obviously, like, you don’t have to be a homeschooling parent to be courageous parent. There’s lots of courageous parents that don’t. But they go, well, wait. Isn’t that sheltering or whatever? And I, I just think that there’s different aspects. There’s different kinds of homeschoolers.

And if you are purposefully engaged in your parenting in a way where one of your missions is to equip your kids for when they do go out so that they stand strong, then your approach is going to be a bit different than some people, you know. And that’s totally fine. You know, we have a couple of different versus here. The first one we are gonna share was in Proverbs eleven two, which says When pride comes, then comes shame.

But with the humble is wisdom that is so important as parents, because sometimes pride looks like this. It is thinking we’re doing all the right things. And it’s actually prideful to overly control your kids in some ways to think that you can say like that. I think that, oh, we can do everything right. And they’re saved.

Right. That’s exactly what I was going to say. He could tell I doesn’t want in or up, but I like I’ve met people who think, well, if you do X, Y and Z, then everything, or they’ll turn out Christians and this and that. You know, and and then their kids grew up and. And it doesn’t always work that way. Like, you can’t put your faith in what you do. You have to put your faith in God alone. And I think that’s really humbling. And it’s that concept alone. Like, nothing I can do to save can save my kids. But that doesn’t mean that I back off and I don’t do the things God’s calling me to do.

Yeah. And Pride can sometimes be a parent that’s doing more practical right things, but missing the love with their kids and the relationship really what is are what is knowing God about. It’s about relationship with God. It’s about knowing God. How do you know him? You can’t know someone with a relationship. Right. So it’s so important. If if they may struggle to have a relationship with God, if they don’t have that deep relationship with you. It’s very true. It’s not like a requirement its not an equation.

But we’ve talked about this in the parenting mentor program, like a lot with different people, because they all everyone has different stories of their upbringing that comes up often. Yeah. Like a lot of people feel like they weren’t necessarily known. Right. Or maybe their parent was living vicariously through them and pushing them to do sports that they were passionate about versus like what the kid was actually interested was playing drums.

We don’t want to send them down our path subconsciously. We want to know their uniqueness and help them go down the path. They are called to go.

That’s right. While at the same time passing on a legacy of skills that you do have so that they can be more equipped. So I hope you guys are hearing this and going, OK. So it’s that, but it’s also a plus that like it’s not an either or. Sometimes in life we can get so black and white to be what we think. Which one is it. But in reality it’s and. Both can be true. And so. And I’ve learned that from you, Isaac.

Well, there’s a great quote by Jim Collins. He’s in the business world. The book, Good to Great for the Tyranny of the OR or the Genius of the And. And we really in many situations, believe in the genius of the And.

That’s right. Now, at the same time, like big families oftentimes struggle with doing sports. Right. Because they could be literally spending tons of hours of their life driving here and there and to and from and then not getting the other important things done. And so you have to really evaluate for your individual child, but also for your family and what is best in what season. Right. Like most part of moms, it might not be a good idea to be taking your kids to practices constantly. Right. So you have to look at the resources you have if you have friends and family that can help with driving and things like that.

But because we don’t want to be the parents that just tell them what’s right and how the world is and that they don’t ever see it, but they don’t ever see it because over time, especially is again in the teenagers. They’ll lose trust in you if they can’t experience anything. They can’t experience relationships with different kinds of people, if they can’t experience, you know, going places with you. I know. I’ve tried to help that by taking my kids to work with me when I used to do conferences and things like that. Or, you know, they would sit with. Often they sit with me in coffee shops as I’m working on things and we run into people in the community. I mean, it’s just so important that they’re able to and as they get older, letting them go to certain events, of course, you’re going to be careful about things, but certain events where you trust things are gonna be safe.

Yeah, I think that having them exposed especially so I think about equipping your kids to be in the world and not have it. Part of me thinks about like vocation. Right? Equipping your kids for vocation. And I just think about how awesome it is that like our kids have actually been exposed to many different aspects, different types of vocations.

True. God put me down a winding road hasn’t He?

Yeah, he has. But it’s been really educational for the kids because they’ve gotten to be up close and personal to many different things and to see like, OK, well, from an entrepreneur, maybe I do or don’t want employees, for example, or maybe I don’t want to be an entrepreneur and I need someone to tell me what to do. Like, you were wired differently for kids to figure those kinds of things out before they launch from your home, if possible.

And you don’t want to do undue pressure on things that go against the wiring of your kids. And God wired each of your kids uniquely differently. They’re independent human beings created by God. And he put them in your jurisdiction for actually not that long a season, 20 percent of their life, of their life on Earth. And then there’s eternity after that. So very short period time to really equip them, love them and help them see God.

Yes. So let’s share from James one, two, three, four, which says, My brother encounter all joy when you fall into various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces patients. But let patients have it’s perfect work that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Yeah. So if they don’t experience trials, how do they know how to handle them?

And what’s cool is we get to help them handle them biblically.

These are the opportunities. Maybe, maybe they have a relational tear with somebody. If a girl, as a friend of hers, that there’s a relational tear, well, now you can take her to the scripture, for example, and you can teach her that and you can go, hey, I tried to share this truth with somebody and they didn’t receive it. Well, we got to learn from that. What did you learn? How could you improve? Not don’t just assume they’re wrong. Right. This is part of equipping them in relationship with different kinds of people to is like, okay, let’s first look at what we can improve. Let’s really be introspective. And then let’s look at where maybe that communication broke down and what you can do to repair their relationship without a requirement of them doing something. Because that’s real grace. Yeah. And then they start by teaching them these things you’re equipping them to be able to do in the future, to do in the future and understand the grace of God through.

Yeah, it’s true. I think that also we want them to be equipped. We’re talking about equipping here. And when I think of the word equipped. Think of tools in the tool box, right? And so what better tools than patience and faith?

Right. Yeah. And that we would have our kids be lacking nothing. Right. But they’re obviously not going to be challenged to grow out of their comfort zones in any way if we don’t allow them to fail at times and walk with them gently through that.

I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already. Is the date night one sheet? It is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date nights. Just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family, no matter what time of year. It’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to CourageousParenting.com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything, a courageousparenting.com. And I also just want to share Real quick about the parenting mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self-paced program with live engagement from us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it. You can find out more courageousparenting.com.

Steven, I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children. what Angie and Isaac have done in creating this is literally phenomenal.

This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world.

It is giving me a vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids physically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of heart.

We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children who have so many answers to the questions that have been in our minds.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is.

Do your legacy a favor and yourself a favor and just do it.

One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year. And I could not recommend it more or no longer fearing dark days ahead.

But we’re so excited to raise the lights to be leaders for the next generation. Yeah, absolutely.

I think another thing is instilling a love for all people. Yes.

God loves people. Luke 10:27 said you shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind and your neighbor as yourself. Don’t forget the neighbor.

That’s right. And so, I mean, how much? Let’s just let’s ask the hard question. How much do you love yourself? Some people actually don’t really love themselves very much. Which is there’s a whole nother episode potentially there. So we want our kids to be confident and we want them to be courageous. We want them to have strong faith and know what they believed to be willing to stand up for that. All those things are required to be not at the world. Right. The one thing, you know, truth. And believe it, you’re actually right. But at the same time, if they don’t love themselves, like, that’s going to kill the confidence that’s going to kill. Like so much from our lifetimes. People can’t love themselves because they didn’t experience love. And so we have to make sure that we are teaching them how to share love as they are in the world with other people in a way that’s going to be that light, the way that’s going to build the kingdom of God. That’s going to be great commission minded.

And we don’t want our kids to grow up with an elitist attitude of we are Christians. And then there’s everybody else. No, they should grow up loving God’s people. He created all people. Yeah. And so that is super important because you have no relationship and no influence with people unless people since love from you first. Yeah. And that’s important. So how are they going to learn that in your family? They need to learn how to love each other their siblings wouldnt that be helpful. if They loved each other more. Well, that’s an important thing for them, loving others in the future. They need to see a marriage that love and respect each other. And they see that the dad sees the wife as equal in value in every way.

And the wife sees the husband as equal in value in every way, although different biblical roles, but loving and respecting one another in a team that is equipped to is helping them launch into the world.

Yeah. So another thing that is really important for equipping your kids for the uncertain world because that’s part of Our tagline right is to equip confident Christian kids for an uncertain world, but equipping them for this uncertain world.

But to be not of the world, you know, you want them. One of the best ways that they can show love for all people is to believe virtue and others harm.

And I guess this is something that you have brought up multiple times. It’s something I struggled with a long time. I go in a different relationship that I’ve had and I came to Isaac and he is like, are you sure? Honest you are. Sometimes it’s to my detriment, right? Yeah. But, you know, to be honest, like, I have gone to Isaac and gone, oh, I’m struggling.

This is this. This conflict is happening.

And he’s like, well, are you are you expecting virtue from them or are you expecting that they really think that bad thing about you? Yeah, right. And how many of us have thought, oh, they think this bad thought about me. Right.

So there’s plenty of times you come to me and say, hey, I think you’ve been prideful. I think you know this or that. And so we do this with each other. We’re both sharing with it what we need that. Yeah, we need accountability. Right. So important. But assuming virtue. I used to teach that in my younger years in business when I had a lot of young adults working with me. And I would always when they had a conflict with someone, I go, hey, you need to assume virtue. What I mean is you need to assume the best in them and that they’re only thinking the best. Yeah. And part of assuming virtue is maybe we don’t understand everything happening in this situation and we’re so self-absorbed that we’re only thinking about our part of the interaction with that person when they’re much maybe deeper layers of challenge. They’re right.

Maybe they I don’t know, like lost their job that day. And so they weren’t glaring at you. They have a headache because I’ve been trying to figure out what they’re how they’re gonna pay their next month’s mortgage.

You know, like a lot of times I think people will allow the enemy to toy with their minds and thinking that a text comes through with a different tone than it really comes through. Right. Or just different things like that. So we need to expect virtue in others. And this is something that we have to model, need to teach our kids. And that’s something that we started teaching our kids at a very young age. Just in regards to like when they when they tattletale way, did you actually see that? Okay, so why are you saying that? Did that really happen? Are you expecting virtue in your brother so important? So I think that that’s a really key thing in relationships that will literally play into the rest of their life if it’s not happening with the siblings.

So don’t expect it to happen when they launch like every day is practice for launching into the world. You’re equipping them every single day. It’s not like you need. Let’s not make it too complicated. It’s not that we need the special meeting in this special book and these things. We just need to seize the opportunities right in front of us on a daily basis and sometimes get outside of our own agenda and recalibrate to the opportunity right here of a sibling conflict and teach them, hey, are you assuming virtue? It kind of sounds like you’re assuming the worst in them. And so, you know, how does that make him feel? And then here’s Johnny with tears in his eyes, you know, and you’re talking.

He’s like, finally, I didn’t know how to put that in words. And so jot that one down, because that’s a really big key aspect of like just even being in good relationship with other people is to expect virtue in them that what their heart intentions are actually pure and godly. OK. So let’s talk about Ephesians 4:29 which says.

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth. But what is good for necessary edification that it may in part grace to the hearers. This is a big deal. So we were talking about like potentially the kids are at soccer practice that here another kid talking with bad language that would be considered corrupt talk, or maybe they are at church and some girls are gossiping or some boys are gossiping because it is not gender specific. You guys, the stuff happens both ways. And you’re just you go. OK. So let’s see what the Bible says. Let’s go to Ephesians four. Let no corrupt word proceed from your mouth. But what is good for necessary edification that it may impart grace to the hearers and teaching your kids to be careful about who they spend a lot of time with because that will be more influence in their life is important.

You also need to teach your kids how to choose wise friends and how to be discerning, actually. Yes. When our kids are younger, obviously, like we we choose the friends, actually. I’ll say that when they’re really young because a two year old and four year old, they can’t really they don’t have discernment in that same kind of way. Maybe they do in some regards. And you need to be watching for that. Right. Like, they just really don’t get along with that one kid. But I think that it’s important that as they’re getting older, you’re constantly from the time that they’re little, you’re teaching them how to share. Right. And then if there’s another little kid that’s not being taught to share or just really is super selfish and doesn’t ever share, then your child will most likely naturally not want to spend time with that other child. Just be on the lookout for that. Right. And they don’t push that relationship. But you don’t close the door on it either, right? You have balance with that because your kid can be a good influence. But at the same time, you want to be sensitive to your child’s, like, obvious outward. I don’t know if you would call them symptoms or like triggers that you can see that will show you. Oh, they’re not really clicking right. And I think that it’s important that we are constantly teaching our kids wisdom and how to choose good friends.

And the best wisdom is found in scripture alone.

It is. And so we also want to teach them. Part of equipping them is how to be wise, but not judgemental of everybody because they don’t align that same example. There can be a multitude of examples. Yeah. But the swearing kid or whatever is let’s not let’s not be judgmental. Right. We’re not to judge people who aren’t believers.

Now when you say judge a lot of people, I mean her. Okay. Sorry guys. This kind of like a little soapbox for me on judgment, but I so I won’t go into a deep depth. But a lot of Christians mess up the word judging, right? I do. And it’s important that you teach your kids that there is a difference between people who are in the church and people who are outside of the church.

And so we’re not to judge people who are outside the church we’re to have compassion on him, actually. So in the circumstance where the kid who’s not a Christian cusses or yells back at his mom or dad. Right. And your kid comes to you. I would hope your kid comes to you noticing that’s different because hopefully that’s different your home.

Yeah, I think, unfortunately, too often parents are so busy and kids just are so used to things that parents aren’t aware they’re used to and don’t even talk to the parents. That’s so true.

So so I would I would hope that your kids would notice that that’s weird because it’s not what they do in their home, but that they would like be like, wow, mom, like that that happened. And they are like coming to you with it.

And that praise God, if they come to you, that stuff that shows that they trust you, if they don’t come to you with that stuff, that shows they don’t trust you or they’re not noticing a difference. So it’s not a big deal to them. Yeah, both things are actually red flags in my mind.

Yes. So you we just talked about that, the nonbelievers. But but then there’s people that do believe the Christians and we are to discern another maybe a better word would be to discern who we spend time with based on their fruit. God says to look at the fruit and there is a great scripture on that in Galatians 5:22

but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering. I love that word. Longsuffering kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control against such. There is no law. And those who are Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Well, those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the spirit. Let us also walk in the spirit that goes on so powerful.

And so, first of all, we have to model live out living and leading with the fruits of the spirit. Do we show the fruits of the spirit? Are we modeling that for the kids and how we interact with them when they’re being good? And when they’re not being good? Where are we showing the fruits of the spirit? Totally. It is so important to do that. So they feel the love and they understand what. Transformation looks like. And so when God only God can do the salvation. But when he does that, they desire to walk in the fruits of the spirit. And also, they’re looking for Comrads. They have the fruit of the spirit. So we do need to discern amongst other believers who has fruit and who doesn’t and only walk with people with strong fruit, stronger in a deeper, more personal way. But we are to love all people. So that’s super important. So it’s important to teach your kids wisdom by through example, but also teaching the biblical truth of that. And looking for the fruit, you can always tell by the fruit.

So Philippians 2:4 says, let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Amen. So this is something that we want to be modeling for our kids. Like if someone in your community, like, guys, here’s a test if you’re living in. In church community, biblical fellowship. Whatever you want to call it. There’s so many different phrases, all means the same thing within the body of Christ. Even your neighbors, like if you’re living with your life open to people, then people should feel welcome to come to you when they have a problem. Yeah. And are you looking into the interests of others? Are you there to help them? Is that modeled in front of your kids or are you just so driven in your own mission that you are literally living life and not even taking consideration for anyone else but yourself?

Amen. And the final thing that goes with that is equipping your kids is teaching them how to be servants to other people, how to serve and have polite manner, to have a place in the world, not be self-seeking, you know, stepping aside for the older lady, holding the door open here, some practical things that you have little kids can do to practice looking into the needs of others, maybe holding the sister’s hand in the parking lot.

Right. To help mom while she’s fumbling with the grocery. Yeah. So she doesn’t get hit by a car or whatever. Very like there’s so many things that it’s like, oh, wait, come here. Your shoes untied, helping a sibling, maybe even just helping out a neighbor. Like maybe you have an elderly neighbor and you see that her weeds are going out of control. Yeah. You know, like it. There are so many ways that we could practically be serving other people. And isn’t that really what we want our kids? We want them to have that as part of their their makeup when they leave and launch from our home. Right. Amen. And if they would be looking to the needs of other people.

Well, hey, thanks so much for joining us. See you next time.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes. Most Christians are making more than that. It’s an incredible community. You’ll have access to a private online group live webcasts and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragement straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentorship program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com.

That’s courageousparenting.com

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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