Are You Making Your Family An Idol?

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Episode Summary

This is a challenge more common than most think that can lead to devastation with your legacy and marriage. Find out if you are making family an idol and get perspective on why it’s so destructive.

This is relevant to every married couple with kids. It’s so easy to not realize we’ve made idols out of things in our lives.

Here’s some questions that might reveal some idolatry:

  • Have you ever struggled with remembering that you are more than a Mom?
  • Do we love God more than we love our kids
  • Do the decisions we make about lifestyle choices reveal if God is our first priority or not?
  • Are our kids more of a focus than our marriage?

What is an idol: Anything that interferes or replaces our worship of God

An idol of family causes erosion slowly over time that’s hard to notice leading to massive regrets in the later years. We should regularly audit our marriage and parenting to see if it’s seeping in.

Even well-intentioned parents fall into this ditch


1. If You Fear The World, Family Might Be An Idol

  • If you fear to bring kids into the world, why is it? Is it because we are worried about kids suffering in this world? First of all, who’s child is it? It’s God’s kid! And what’s the purpose of parenting? To glorify God and to equip His kids to impact the world for His Kingdom.
  • If we have that fear, our focus is wrong, we may be caring too much about our family over what God cares about.
  • There could be a temptation for people to even put what a Biblical family looks like on a pedestal, and think to themselves “I can’t do that”, “I can only handle what I have”, “I don’t want to work that hard” so I’m not going to bring another child into the world. Do you see how there are too many “I’s” in this language?
  • Am I making decisions regarding parenting because of a fear of the world?
  • Also Over-focusing on our jurisdictions that distracts us from God’s purposes.
  • The very thing we are protecting and holding dear could be suffering because we don’t keep God first.
  • We are all for being wise as the Bible calls us to as Christians.
  • People can take protecting too far where it becomes unhealthy isolationism. Often referred to as Fear-Based Parenting.
  • Our kids need to gradually experience the world while they are raised in our homes with good communication, trust, and love.

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2.Your Marriage Relationship Will Suffer

  • After the kids leave the home the parents no longer have anything to talk about
  • It’s vital to nourish the marriage relationship while you are parenting
  • Ask yourself “Am I investing in my marriage?”  “What can I do better to nourish my marriage”
  • Can you tell your kids “Follow our example”? Do you want them to have a marriage like yours?
  • Guys, you must initiate in your marriage, pursue your bride and cherish her
  • If you overly focus on your kids and under focus on your marriage you end up hurting your kids anyways in the long run.
  • Audit how much you talk about your kids and maintenance talk versus communication about your relationship.
  • It’s vital to do date nights. 
  • Whatever you’re worried about, if it tends to be about kids, you might be idolizing family
  • We aren’t supposed to worry, it’s a lack of faith. We are to fear God, that good kind of fear where we respect His authority in our lives, His love for us, and understand He’s a jealous God for our attention and devotion.

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3. Parents will have Doctrine erosion if the kids stray from the faith

  • If parents idolize family they sometimes let go of some of the truth in the Bible so the wayward kid’s lifestyles become acceptable.
  • It’s a sign parents love their kids more than they love God.
  • We must be humble, sober-minded, and not think that we won’t fall away or do these things. That’s what the enemy wants you to believe.
  • We are actually 1-2 bad decisions away from being in the horrible situations we see people we know who have moved away from God and embraced sin.
  • Idols erode your faith a little bit over a long period of time equals disaster.
  • We live in a day where so many have their own truth. If you as parents don’t hold to the whole truth in the Bible, you will be showing them that they can’t trust any of it.
  • We should never move to a lesser belief in the Bible just because there is sin in our families lives.
  • Condition of a child-centric home, a home where the kids are in charge. The kid’s sports or activities rule the whole family to a point that it fuels their selfishness.
  • Your identity must be in Christ not your family
    • Is your identity too wrapped up in being a Mom?
    • Is your identity too wrapped up in your work Dads?
  • If you’re not spending time daily in the word, then you are focusing more on other things than Him.
  • We must be the firm foundation that’s upholding the truth in the world


4. Family Prioritized over Godliness

  • If we are putting relationships with others over our kids purity and Godliness there’s a problem.
  • You need to be aware that what you sow you reap.
  • Putting kids sports games as more important than going to church. This is a sign that you idolize family over Godliness.
  • If we don’t meet regularly with other believers we will likely start to stray over time.

They are watching and learning from the pattern of your life. 


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Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 1 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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