We have five important warnings for you to heed in this episode that are vital for all Christian parents to consider. There are several common parenting mistakes that might be hurting your kid’s spiritual growth. We must go beyond common Christian parenting that we see in today’s culture if we expect our kids to stand for righteousness in a world so proactively against it.
But remember, we aren’t to parent in fear. This is not fear-based parenting. If you parent out of fear, you are going to equip weak children into an uncertain world. They are likely to become fearful, isolate themselves or fall to the desires of the world. This is one of the greatest times for our kids to be alive but we must equip them to stand strong. This episode will help you do so!
1. Don’t Create a Religious Culture
- You must create an environment where your kids are comfortable sharing their insecurities and doubts, even about their faith.
- It may prevent them from asking questions that are needed to encourage their faith.
- Parents must create a culture that’s comfortable for kids to ask questions.
- Is there pressure on your kids to not expose their doubts?
- They must know that we love them regardless of their faith!
- We want them to have their own faith, not our faith.
- Is it possible that your kids become motivated to accept the Lord because they think that’s how to get more love from their parents?
- When your kids accept the Lord, it doesn’t mean they will be a believer forever. We realize there may be theological differences in this but just think about the pressure of teaching them “Once saved, always saved” when they accept the Lord at a young age?
- How does this believe impact your parenting? Well if it’s true we would naturally let up on discipling our kids because they are saved, right? That is a huge error that often leads to unbelief, unfortunately.
- Don’t let up, ever!!!!!
- If this agitates you right now, go to the Bible and see all the scriptures that go against once saved and always saved.
2. Take Off The Rose-Tinted Glasses.
- The unwillingness to see the truth in our kids because we are biased towards only wanting to see the good side of our kids.
- If we are really honest about seeing our kids sin, then that means we have to do something about it and a lot of parents either don’t know what to do about the sin, correct it, or help walk with our child through that sin. This can cause us to not want to go there and get honest about it.
- It’s really important that we have a Biblical perspective of our children. God calls us to!
- This can become problematic with your personal relationships. Let’s say you have a relationship with someone, your kids are playing together and there’s conflict amongst your kids, so many parents immediately put defenses up defending their child when another parent lets them know there was a problem. We should be trying to see the truth in what someones saying rather than our defenses automatically going up.
- What does it say to your kids if you back them up automatically when another parent tells you they did something but inside they know they did it? You are cultivating a weakness in your relationship with your child where they believe they can hide bad behavior from you.
- Our unwillingness to see the truth is one of the biggest ways we can paralyze their spiritual growth.
- The biggest seasons of spiritual growth happen when there are challenges, so don’t waste the opportunities their trials bring and hold them accountable to their sin.
- They should be challenged to have to repent, be reconciled and change.
- We must deal in the reality of what’s really happening as that’s the only path towards growth
- Ask God for wisdom, you can’t be leading them if you’re not growing in the word
- Evaluate the fruit of the spirit in your kids lives to see where they are at, be honest with the fruit or lack of that you see.
- You must evaluate the fruit to challenge them to grow
Have you ever not asked your kid a question because you don’t want to know in case it’s negative, because then you will have to deal with it?
3. Don’t cultivate the wrong identity
- Any bad behaviors are a symptom of the heart.
- In the moment it’s so hard to tend to the heart because we are so agitated by the behavior.
- If we take a personal offense to their sin then it reveals we are focused more on the outward behavior then the heart. Become thankful for being able to see where their heart is so you can help them get rid of their sin.
- What really matters is their heart, if they are disobeying you they are disobeying God.
- The word of God is your tool to grow their hearts towards Him.
- The word of God helps you cut to the heart of the issue.
- Proclaim the truth about who they are in Christ. Scripture says we are saints, heirs, ambassadors and the Holy Spirit intercedes for us.
- Encourage questions and look them up together.
- Don’t underestimate the power of your words as a parent.
- You need to realize how influential you are as a leader regardless of the responses you get from your kids.
- The most powerful thing is parents encouraging their kids with scripture.
4. Lack of spiritual leadership
- How often do we get so busy and fail to open the Bible for ourselves? If we don’t look at it for ourselves we are likely to fail using it with our kids.
- Your kids need to see you reading the physical Bible.
- If you only look at scriptures on your devices you will become an “Out of context Bible reader,” you will take a scripture that serves your purposes and you won’t know if you are taking it out of context.
- Spiritual leadership starts in your marriage. Husbands should pray with their wives.
- It shares the intent of your heart to each other and allows the Holy Spirit to intercede in the request.
- Ask your kids deep questions (Listen for examples).
- How you respond will dictate if they continue to ask you questions.
- Structured Bible time with your family.
- Acknowledging prayers coming true (Listen for example).
- Worship with your kids, creating experiences serving others, recognize what God is doing.
- Don’t forget that we are training them to become spiritual leaders.
5. Be The Example
- Is it easier to describe a relationship with God or for them to see a relationship with God in you?
- This is about a multi-generational legacy. It’s important to have a longer-term vision.
- You are either leaving an intentional legacy or not.
Scriptures In This Episode
James 1:5-8 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”
Galatians 5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,”
Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
2 Timothy 3:16-17 “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
Luke 6:39-40 “And He spoke a parable to them: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.”
1 John 2:15 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”
Resources Mentioned In This Episode
- New Podcast: Faithful Life by Matt and Lisa Jacobson. Also found at faithulman.com & club31woman.com
- “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” -Tedd Tripp
- “Don’t Make Me Count To Three” -Ginger Plowman Hubbard
Ways You Can Support The Ministry
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Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 1 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.