“Are You Scared for Your Kid’s Future?”

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Episode Summary

If you are scared about your children’s future, who they will marry, or what the world will be like when they are older, this episode is a must-listen.

Do you ever wonder about the world your children are going to be inheriting? When you ponder their future do you become anxious or worried? I think now more than ever before we hear a very similar narrative from parents, regardless of how old their children are; and rightfully so. Here at Be Courageous Ministries, we advocate for parenting in reality; fully aware of the culture wars of our generation and proactively parenting to equip our children as best as possible. I would say that the past three years, especially, parents have woken up to the harsh realities of the fallen world we live in. The truth is the world has always been this way, fallen. And the sins of today are not new to this generation though we would all like to believe that. The truth found in God’s Word reveals that these same temptations to sin and struggles existed even in biblical days. So what is the solution or encouragement? Join Angie and her daughter Megan as they share biblical truth and good reminders about where our hope is really to be found– in Jesus!

Main Points From This Episode:

  • Be ENCOURAGED as you hear from Megan Tolpin, who is almost 18 yrs old, about her excitement for her future! 
  • A Biblical perspective on Purpose amidst a fallen generation. 
  • The importance of being aware of the culture wars your children will face & allowing that reality along with a biblical perspective on our identity in Christ to impact your decisions as a parent. 
  • The importance of instilling in your teens that there is a major purpose in life while single– being content in this season and choosing to glorify God in it. 
  • Our Hope is in Jesus. Specifically talking about being His
  • The illusion of control
  • Leaving a NEW Legacy

Scripture From This Episode:

Philippians 4:11-14 –Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Nevertheless you have done well that you shared in my distress.”

2 Timothy 4:3-5 –For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”

Matthew 28:19-20 –Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.”

Philippians 4:6-7 –Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Matthew 6:34 – “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom.

And I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married for 21 years and have seen the fruit from raising our eight kids biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from their faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting and the following.

Hey, everybody. Hey. Welcome to the Courageous Parenting Podcast. Thank you guys so much for joining us again for another week. Today, we have an important topic we’re going to be talking about. Well, this is a question that we get a lot. It is. Are you scared for your kid’s future? This is a conversation that I feel like keeps coming up over and over again, whether it’s young moms who think about when their kids are going to be launching from the home and how crazy the world is today and thinking ahead to 15 to 20 years down the road and just kind of going, oh, our hope is lost is kind of like the kind of the theme, if I’m honest, that I hear from people and even people who are in that decision making season of like not sure if they want to have more kids. And we’re not going to talk about that super, super in depth. We did do a whole podcast on should Christians have children in uncertain times. Please go find that I think it’s in season two or three, but we’re going to dive into this topic of Are you scared for your kid’s future? And I have a special guest with me today because she has just graduated high school. So I have my daughter Megan here, everyone.

I’m so happy to be here.

So Megan is almost 18. She’s going to be 18 in a couple of weeks, and she graduated in July. And she has a very bright future ahead of her. We’ll be talking about that in a second. But Isaac and I were just contemplating this particular just an encouraging wanting an encouraging word for those who are feeling overwhelmed as they are raising their kids and looking at what’s happening in the world. And we went, you know what? This is perfect for Megan to come and talk to the other parents about. So we’re excited to connect with you guys on this. But before we dive in here, did you guys know that we have a kid’s podcast? It’s called The Courageous Kids Podcast, and Megan has been sharing on the kids podcast for a while. Yeah, Yeah.

I mean, all of us kids have that are still at home.

Yeah. Yeah. So it’s been going for at least I’m just trying to think when we got started it was probably.

Like when the app.

Started, right? Oh, it was a year.

Ago, a little.

Bit before that, because we had it out and then we decided, Oh, we’re going to keep it in the app. Yeah, like more special.

You’re right, you’re right. So for those of you who don’t know, you know, we homeschool and we have nine kids ranging in age 22 down to one and one half years old. We currently have seven kids living at home. Megan just graduated, so she’s actually working now. We’ll get into that in a minute. But we wanted to do something with the kids that was ministry focused, but also is giving them the experience in speech making and speech and debate, if you will, or public speaking. Yeah, yeah. And you know, dad’s always been super passionate about that. Yeah, I for sure see it as definitely like one of the top things the kids have to be equipped for before they leave, leaving a legacy academy, which is what we call our school. But for sure, that is definitely been more like Isaac has pushed that that that particular agenda. I would say more than anything leading that and I’m really thankful for it. So we started out the podcast wanting an option for our high schoolers to be able to fill the gap with a speech and debate and creating keyword outlines, communicating their beliefs, teaching all of those things, which was awesome. But then we realized, well, for this to be ongoing, we probably should compensate. So we started compensating the kids per episode and the money that they make is different based upon their age and like the content that’s in their podcast and how long, because Megan puts a lot of effort into hers, which we super appreciate, but hers are definitely more meaty than, say, Eli’s and Sullivan’s.

Maybe just a little bit. There’s just this.

Spiritual maturity thing. Yes, it’s a bit different. But what’s neat is that that money that they earn goes into a special account to help them with entrepreneurial pursuits. And so just wanted to share that with you guys. Maybe that’s inspiring for you to figure out something that you can do with your kids where they can be putting money aside for something entrepreneurial. That’s always awesome. But one of the I wanted to ask you, Megan, maybe you could share with the audience some of the titles of the podcast that you have.


Done over.

The years. I did one on having faith like Daniel, and then I’ve done one on the difference between joy and happiness and what that looks like in biblical sense. And I’ve done one on dealing with conflict with siblings and not letting ages and limit you. I have a few more. Those are the off the top of my head right now.

But one of my favorite ones that you did was on Identity and Christ. Super impactful for kids, but also for parents. I can’t tell you how many times when people who are in our app because that’s where our podcast is now, the Kids podcast is exclusively in the Be Courageous app. So if you want to find out more about that, just go to be courageous ministry dot org and find out about that. But all the podcasts are there. I think we have over 62 of the Kids podcast episodes, so great conversation starters for kids. Like some of them are 3 minutes, some are 15. If Meghan does them and they’re more medium.

Or short to get. Pretty simple.

That’s true. Yeah. And so they’re just really good conversation starters for kids and parents, maybe as they’re driving or whatever. But it’s been an encouragement to a lot of adults too, where they listen to your podcast and they come back and they text me and they’re like, Wow, I needed to hear that. And so that’s an encouragement to you. But anyway, so just wanted to say thank you guys for joining us and supporting the 10 Million Legacies Movement means so much to our entire family. Obviously, this is everyone. It’s like all hands on deck, I.

Feel like.

Because you guys help with babysitting the younger kids when we’re shooting a podcast or doing a live.

And definitely a family orientated thing.

For sure and been neat because now they’re teaching too and they’re involved in a different aspect of it as well, which is super awesome for me as mom to watch that. But well, let’s dive into today’s topic. Are you scared for your kids future? This this is a conversation we have three points for you today we’re going to talk about. I’m actually going to kind of interview Megan and have her share about what she is looking forward to in the future, because I think it will be encouraging for you guys who maybe are feeling this fear of what’s going on in the world and how that’s going to impact your kids futures. It might be encouraging for you to hear a young person who sees the reality of what’s happening in the world but is not discouraged by it. And then after she shares a little bit about that, we’re going to talk about how, yes, the world is fallen. And three, our hope is in Jesus and we’ve got some scripture for you guys. This is going to be a great episode. So yeah. Megan, can I just say, first of all, I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of the woman that you have become. And I don’t know if you guys follow Megan on Instagram. She’s on Instagram. Megan Toppin, And she has some heart desires that she’s pursuing. Why don’t you share with people what is next now that you’ve graduated? Yes. What is next?

So what’s been next so far for me is I work for my parents a little bit on side like 4 hours a day. I’m a manager of bakery, just coffee, Instagram and do some like just involvement with email listing and all that stuff and creating things and but what my passions are and what I’m pursuing passions wise is recently a midwife has come into our community in our church, and she’s so amazing and super like minded and just had the perfect timing. And I’ve always had the desire to be able to bless other women as they’re bringing a new child into the world and just be there for them and learning about it. And so I’ve been able to be an assistant of hers and learn things. And I mean, she’s taught me some really cool things that I think is so amazing that I can use in my future, like suturing or understanding a little bit of like how to save a baby’s life if the airway’s not working as well as it should be. And a lot of really cool things that I’m thankful for knowing and thankful for her being in my life and having that opportunity right in front of me. And I’m also going to pursue becoming a doula and like getting my certificate and that and doing online schooling and see where the Lord takes that. And I know that my heart is always been drawn towards that. So I’m excited to see what that looks like. I’m still figuring out what it looks like, but I mean, first steps right here and then I also have always had the desire to have some sort of ministry and just encourage and uplift my generation because there’s a lot of brokenness in the world. There’s a lot. It’s a fallen world and there’s a lot of loneliness. And it may look peculiar. What I want to do, I’m not really sure what it’s going to look like. Yeah, I know. The first thing is I’m been trying to launch my own podcast and excited. Yeah, really excited to see the Lord takes it and just praying about it a lot.

Yeah. So that’s kind of a passion project, as Dad likes to call them, passion projects. I love that. But I would say even just like pursuing becoming a doula and serving women in midwifery or or in do low work, whatever it is, has been a passion of yours too, that you’ve been like really looking forward to. Yeah. So for those of you who are out there who have daughters and maybe you have been, you know, I think that this topic of like wanting to have your daughters at your birth or like this is not what the podcast is about, but I’m just going to bring it up briefly. Sometimes people get scared to let their kids into like intimate things, and I would definitely say birth as an intimate thing, right? And it’s definitely something you want to pray about and got to be something that you and your spouse are in alignment about. But Megan came to one of my. Earth’s for the first time when she was four and a half when Ethan was born. That was our sixth. And she has been at every birth since then. And so she’s been my doula, trained by mom. Really. Her and Kelsey have been four since actually since Luke, because Kelsey was at Luke’s birth and he is now 14.

So the girls have been by my side at different levels and they both had had an interest in either midwifery or something like that. But it’s just really neat to see, Megan, how God has brought in this opportunity, like she was saying and having. Yeah, he’s opened doors for her to right now she’s a birth assistant and, and kind of like an apprentice style setup, which is super organic. And we love this because it’s exactly what fits for her season of life right now. So, so she starts doing school in about a month and that’s exciting as far as becoming a doula and she’s working on this podcast so you guys can be praying for Megan, be on the lookout for what she’s going to be doing. But I just I think that it’s exciting for you guys to hear that. Like there there is a way, right? There is a way. I mean, I think that my parents generation and maybe even, well, multiple generations, I think about my grandparents. There was always this push for kids to go to college right out of high school.

Yeah, I see it. Yeah.

So and it’s not that Dad and I were like, not you guys. We weren’t against.


Yeah. You know, going to college.

What us kids, like, our passions are right.

Yeah. And wanting you to follow God’s will for your life and, you know, and sometimes certain professions, it’s like, required to have higher education for certain things. I definitely would not be like submitting my brain to brain surgery unless there was a train surgeon underneath there.


And so, like, obviously there are certain professions that require higher education in that regard. But I think that in the last three years, especially, everybody’s eyes have been open to this like agenda that we all kind of thought was there, or maybe some people didn’t realize it was there. But now it’s undeniable to where we’re like, yeah, where it’s like there’s definitely they’re not just teaching things that kids are going to school for. They’re teaching a whole different liberal agenda. That’s actually it doesn’t even I could just say it’s sinful, It’s literally teaching evil and trying to corrupt children. I just see the enemy all over. I’m sure you guys do as well. And that is the aspect that can be so discouraging when you’re thinking about your kid’s future and you want them to be equipped and prepared and you’re like, How do we get from A to B and our kids still be saved and be ready for the world? That’s like, really? That’s like the bottom line for parents right there. Right? And I just want to encourage you guys because it it does not have to look like how maybe you’ve had it in your head that it has to look like. And when you’re following the Lord and you’re praying and you’re seeking him earnestly, God provides unique open doors like what Meghan has experienced with this opportunity. So I think that’s super cool. But Meghan, beyond being like a doula and that kind of thing, it’s more of like a ministry desire. Yeah. What are your dreams and desires for? Like, let’s say, five, ten years down the road?

Well, I’ve always loved the idea of being a mom and a wife and that, like the Lord has definitely put that in my heart. And I can’t wait to utilize the gifts that God’s given me, like cooking and and really go with Kelly and pray for my husband. And I’m excited for when that journey approaches. But in the meantime, being content when you’re single and being content and where God has put you like then and not being too comfortable where you are, but growing and pushing yourself to further more build the kingdom.

God’s kingdom. Yeah, totally.

I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already. Is the date night one sheet? It is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date night to just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family. No matter what time of year, it’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to parenting dot com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything at courageous parenting dot com. And I also just want to share real quick about the parenting Mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self paced program with live engagement from us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it and you can find out more at courageous parenting dot com.

Steve and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to. Raise our children. But Angie and Isaac have done in creating this is literally phenomenal. This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world. It has given me a vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids biblically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of the heart. We now have a game plan to how we want.

To raise our children.

We have so.

Many answers to the questions.

That have been in our mind. It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is. Do your legacy a favor and yourself a favor and just do it. One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year, and I could not recommend it more. We’re no longer fearing dark days ahead, but we’re so excited to raise lights to be leaders for the next generation.

So as we were discussing, discussing this specific topic of like finding contentment, like in the season of singleness, for example, to glorify God, there was a verse in Philippians chapter four, verse 11 through 14 that we wanted to share with you guys and says, Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content. I, I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound in any and every circumstance. I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. And this this concept of like contentment like we all know well most adults know most kids probably don’t know. But I feel like, you know, because we’ve lived in a very transparent way as far as like even walking through trials with you kids to where, like, we didn’t hide the miscarriage, we didn’t hide the business failures. Yeah. And we wanted you guys to learn from how we were walking through it, like being real and transparent about pain and loss and suffering. But but also, like seeing mom and Dad still praising God and.

And lifting it together as a family and glorifying him. Yeah. Yeah.

And growing like, what? Is there anything, Lord, that I need to grow in and, and being transparent with our communities as we walk through those hard things. I think that all of that like because you kids sat in church with us and you saw the confessions, you saw the prayer requests, you were there.

For all of it. Probably more than I even realized.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that it’s interesting how much we take for granted, right? Like, it’s easy to just, like, assume everybody else has something similar to you. But I know that you know what you’ve that the family that you’ve been raised with has been a gift from God. And I. I know that like being married to a man who loves the Lord has been a gift, that having kids who love Jesus has been a gift like I. Neither of us take any of that for granted. But I do think that, like even in the midst of just daily life, it’s easy for the enemy to tempt us to become content, or it’s easy for us to operate in our flesh and forget to be thankful. And then that unfaithfulness can very quickly turn to discontentment and thinking like worst case scenario, Oh, I wish my life was different. Or Oh, I wish this, you know.

Instead of constantly focusing on the negative, look at all the little blessings that God’s put in your life all around you.

Totally. And so I think that it’s interesting, like as you’re in this specific season, like a lot of especially within the Christian community, I think that with girls there’s this like lie that they believe that their life doesn’t start until they get married. Yeah. And that is putting too much weight and hope on like a person, another human being that is going to potentially let you down. Right. Like and what I mean by let down is like they’re human. And so like, we can’t put our hope. Yeah, we can’t put our hope in another person, but like, like not living on purpose. And then because you’re like, I don’t have a life until I get married. Right. But that’s the opposite of what you’re pursuing.

To have independence when you’re single and be able to pursue what God’s put into your heart and try and make an impact while you can. Like I view it as like a beautiful season of life where like, I don’t like I’m not saying of being a wife or having family as a burden because it’s not at all it’s a blessing. But to have that like it could be a little bit like in the way of like what God has put in my heart right now to desire to do ministry right now. Like, I probably would take a break if I’m starting a family, right? But right now I don’t have that. And so it’s just it’s a way for me to look at the glimpse of all of it and be like, okay, God is giving me the tools now. I have the desire. Now I need to take action.

Yeah, and it’s interesting too, because I feel like even within the context of the family that you’re obviously you’re still living at home and like seeing that you have a ministry with your younger siblings and you talk. About that in the Kids podcast, like in different things that you teach on, like conflict between siblings and different things like that. And it’s super powerful to for you to understand and have a purpose and go, I’m here for this reason right now, and I see that in you, like when you babysit Zander or you’re watching the boys, like I see a distinct purposefulness where I come in and there’s joy and the kids are happy because Sissy’s been like pouring into them and making it fun. And she, like, truly delights in her younger siblings when it’s her turn to watch the kids. And so it’s like, that’s a huge blessing for me. But it also is like, you know, building her relationship with her siblings and she gets that. But it’s also preparing her for her future as well, like being patient with kids and like understanding and having compassion on little ones. And like, that’s practice for that muscle.

The relationship with your siblings while you’re home intact and still pursuing them, even though you may have all of the other big things ahead of you, like they’re going to be with you for the rest of your life.

Whether you.

Like it or don’t like it.

And so building the relationships are super important. That’s right. So let’s move into the next thing after you guys. Wasn’t that encouraging? Can I just like that’s just super encouraging to see someone that’s like, I’m not letting this world get to me. I’m going to keep pursuing the things that God has put on my heart. I just I think that that’s really cool. The next thing we want to talk about in regards to this, are you scared for your kid’s future? The world is fallen, isn’t it? It’s just it is. It’s a hard, hard world. But the reality is, is that the world has always been fallen. And we need to remember that God hasn’t placed us here for us to, like, dwell in a spirit of pity, but instead for us to have our eyes wide open, not be conformed to the world like it talks about in Romans 12, but instead understand what our purpose is and be pursuing that. Right, Right. And so, you know, obviously, like one of the things that Megan and I were talking about just I mean, it’s easy to to recognize what’s going on in the world. There was just the elections. Right. Right. Last week and or two weeks ago. And if it wasn’t for you, you’ve probably heard this everywhere. If it wasn’t for Gen Z, which is your generation, if it wasn’t for them, like if they had not voted, the whole nation of the United States would most likely be red and and there would be a huge overturn of things that are like exploiting children to things that are completely inappropriate, that are, in my opinion, child abuse, that are happening like all over the country actually doesn’t matter where you live. Even in really red states, there’s still the enemy is still attacking and trying to get in and trying to exploit children.

How much waywardness there is in Generation.


Totally so sad.

And it’s in every generation. I’m not saying that it’s not, but but it is a very large demographic issue of the way that they voted made a huge impact. And so you just think when you hear that kind of stuff, you think about, wow, in ten years when all of them are going to be in their early thirties or in 20 years when they’re all in their early forties and they’re running the nation, right, Like, where is this world going to be? And so it would be easy to be discouraged. But I just want to point out that like.

This, to be that way.

No, you don’t have to have that perspective. We actually have a choice in choosing our perspective, and we need to understand that the world has always been fallen. And the truth is, is we’ve actually been very blessed here in America, specifically in the Western culture, because this kind of complete just debauchery has been common all over the world throughout generations. Right. And so we had another scripture that we were going to share with you guys.

Timothy four three through five four. The time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves, teachers to suit their own passions and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober minded in dear suffering. Do the work of event evangelists. Oh sorry. Where am I? Fulfill your ministry.

So you guys, this is a this is a command sentence. Like, as I even think about just some of the words that we’re in there, sober minded comes to mind. What is sober minded? Like being aware and not thinking of yourself more haughty, right? Having a humble heart posture, recognizing. So if that’s part of what sober minded means, sober minded is also like understanding the reality of the world that we live in and how we are affected by it, how we are potentially influenced, being sober minded and being vigilant, like being vigilant to protect ourselves from those negative influences. But also it’s not just protecting yourself. It’s like, what are you filling your. Mind with so that you can actually discern it when it comes because.

Produce bad fruit or good.

Fruit. Right. And if you’re like not in the word and you’re still going, Oh, but I’m vigilant, I’m not letting the bad stuff in, but you’re not filling your mind with the word. You will.


That you won’t because it’s the Holy Spirit, right that’s in you that gives you the discernment to be able to test what’s pleasing, what the perfect will of God is. Right. And so, like, that’s just a huge warning to me. But also this talks about the need for us to endure suffering and do the work of an evangelist and fulfill your ministry like God has given you a ministry depending on what season of life you’re in. So maybe there are some young people that are listening today because maybe some of our normal listeners, they have some teenagers and they’re like, Oh, the kids have Megan on there today. Let’s listen together. And that’s really cool. If you’re listening with your parents or maybe you’re listening or on your own, but you have a ministry and it doesn’t start when you get married. It doesn’t start when you launch from your parents home, like understanding that God created you with a purpose. He knew you before you were born, like it says in Psalm 139. Here I am quoting scriptures we didn’t plan to talk about. Right. But in truth, in reality, like understanding that God has a purpose for your life and you part of your purpose was being equipped and being taught and becoming prepared. Your parents are supposed to be preparing you so that you can fulfill the purposes that God has for you in this next season also.

But like part of that is also walking it out on a day to day basis, and sometimes it means that you will endure suffering, but that you’re regardless of if you’re enduring suffering, you still do the work of an evangelist and you fulfill your ministry. I think that another thing that’s super important that I think is probably the thing that’s bothering parents more than anything in here, it said for the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions. And we’ll turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. That is actually the thing that we’ve all as parents become more aware of recently. And the truth is that that alone should been a motivator for all parents to really evaluate who are we letting our kids sit in front of and who are we putting a stamp of approval on and saying be an influence to them because we can’t throw our hands up at the end of the day and be like, Well, I raise them going to church. I don’t know why they walked away. If we saw the signs in the culture like this, like people not enduring sound teaching and we did not change course in choosing better teachers, you know what I mean? And so I would say, like if there was something that if you’re listening, you have younger kids, if there is something that you could do practically, I would say the number one most important thing that you could do is to be watchful and be ready, because it said for a time is coming.

Well, we are in that time. We are in that time. I’m sure that you would agree that there is an agenda to try to make. Right, wrong and wrong. Right. Bittersweet and sweet, bitter. And the Bible says woe to the man who does that. Right. And so we don’t want our kids to be sitting in the seat of scoffers and learning from those people that are teaching those wayward philosophies. So, you know, I think that being sober minded helps us to have realistic views of what’s going on in the world and helps us to then we can make wise decisions. Right? And so I think that as parents, we have the responsibility to make decisions with our kids, especially when they’re younger. You and I were talking about this earlier, how there’s a great analogy that I once learned from a mentor of ours many, many years ago that was that raising kids and protecting them is kind of like when you’re you’re planting seeds and you start them out first, either in the greenhouse or maybe they’re in your garage and they’ve got the special lights and they have the protected environment.

There’s no harsh wind, right? There’s no pouring down rain that’s going to beat the little seedlings to the ground. Nope. There’s a little three year old with a spritzer bottle going, you know, giving them just the right amount for like 20 minutes in their fingers and then they switch hands. You know, it’s so cute. But the truth is, is you do you kind of protect them? You protect the seeds when they’re first planted and then as they grow up, you have to do what we call hardening them off. Right. And so for us living in Idaho, that means I start seeds in either in our garage or in our studio, and then we move them to the cold frame. And then after they’re in the cold frame, we let them be outside for a few hours and then we put them back in the cold frame, and then we let them after a week or two of doing that every day, we let them be outside a little longer and then. Put him back in at night.

But only when we think they’re ready.

Only when they’re ready. And we pay attention to the weather. And we pay attention to the climate. Oh, is there going to be another frost? Is there going to be another snow? Is there going to be what’s going on? Is it going to be too hot that day or are they going to get scorched in the cold frame? We have to pay attention to the elements. Right. And make wise decisions so that the seeds survive and don’t die. I mean, that’s like a very blunt representation, right? And then when they’re ready, you harden when the when the weather is potentially looking ready to where you’re not going to have any more threats like that, you can put them in the ground. Right.

And then they have to deal with the weather.

Right. And maybe you cover them for a little for another week while they’re in the ground. Who knows, depending on where you’re at. But the truth is there’s a process of of doing that when you’re in a place. And so, like, you have to evaluate what is the climate of where you live, because it may be different than where we live here in Idaho. And so you need to be realistic. Take rose tinted glasses off, evaluate the climate that your kids are being raised in, and you have to make wise decisions as far as like what you protect them from, what you expose them to so that they are ready to launch into the world and they’re not going to have issues where or maybe not as many issues, right, because they’re more equipped. But I think that this this topic of the next the next point that we have for you guys is keeping our hope in Jesus, because I think that sometimes the heaviness that can hit parents is really reflective of the fact that we think that we have more control than we actually do. And so I know that this may seem like contradictory to what I was just saying about evaluating making decisions. That’s super important. That’s a practical thing for sure. But the truth is, is I think that sometimes we worry because we believe that this illusion that we have more control than we actually do, when in reality exactly God’s in control.

Whereas born, serving.

Right and understanding like again, going back to that concept and teaching your kids that they have a purpose is super important and teaching them what the greatest purpose.

Is, which is Matthew 2819 through 20. Go there for it and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all the eye of community. To and behold, I’m with you always. To the end of the age. It’s pretty clear that’s what we’re called to do, is make disciples of all nations and be a bond servant to Christ and allow him to make our steps, allow him to write our story and giving him the pen.

That’s awesome. I think to when we when we’re talking about the Great Commission for Kids to understand that, like, truly, like, get what Jesus has done for them. Yeah. And teaching kids this concept of what eternity is and what life on earth is. And what I mean by that is like having perspective, having a worldview, and having a biblical worldview, biblical perspective of life, understanding like the Bible says that life is a vapor and that it’s gone in a blink of an eye. I mean, people are always saying it right, Like, Oh, you blink and your kids are going to be grown up. Right? And it is true. Like life goes by fast and the older you get, the more you actually sense that it goes by fast.

But even though it’s going by fast to understand the value that you have in what God has planned for you.

Exactly. I think that, like if we as parents were to encourage our children that God has a plan for them and he made them for this time for a reason and for kids to be open to serving God in whatever that is, that’s huge, right? And and so I think sometimes kids forget or they just don’t even know. I think a lot of times parents don’t think to, like, instill in their kids.

That, hey.

You know, you have a purpose right now in a ministry right now. And like, you know, if you love Jesus and you understand eternity, you’ve accepted Christ, you’re born again.

Like understanding that the God who created the whole universe and he wants you to be an impact in building his kingdom.

Amen. And like, when your kids grow up with understanding what eternity is and how short their life is actually going to be here on Earth, then their perspective towards actually like having this urgency to be an evangelist, right. Or an urgency of like, I need to do this right now. Kind of like what you were saying. Like you’re looking forward to being a wife and mom, but you’re also super content in this season of singleness because you know that God’s called you to do a few things that need to be done right now that you would not necessarily be doing when you’re a wife and a mom. Right. And just and that’s what you have personally decided. So it’s like for for for Megan, like she understands that. And so she’s like, okay, that’s the season I’m in. Let’s go. And it’s it’s a good, healthy place to be. And that is actually the message that kids need to hear is like, okay, you’re moving into this next season, which is super exciting. What has got to have for you? But understanding that as parents, we need to be the ones that are encouraging our kids in that and teaching them that. So Philippians four, verse six and seven, says, Do not be anxious about anything. So actually it starts before that. I love this. I have to just share with you the Lord is at hand. I love that the king is going to be coming.

He will be. We’ve been reading in Revelations as a family, and it’s just kind of fun to to read that. But the Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything. This is a word for all the parents who are anxious and scared for the kids future. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Then it goes on into the finally brothers. Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just pure. It’s like commanding God’s Word is commanding us to focus on those things. But I don’t want to skip over this important exhortation that we have in the book of Philippians, because it’s kind of an equation that tells us that if we are if we’re choosing to not be anxious, one thing that we can do to help ourselves, to not be anxious, is to pray and sup and have supplication with Thanksgiving and give our requests to the Lord for us parents. Like if you’re struggling with that, like you need to be praying for your kids and for their future so that they like because God is actually the one that is in control. More than anything. You do your part well and you pray really hard and you give God the trust because he’s worthy of being trusted.

He’s in control of tomorrow, which is what this Bible verse is talking about. It’s Matthew 634. It says, therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow. For tomorrow we’ll be anxious for it’s self sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

So even that like that’s an exhortation for us to why.

Are why.

Are we thinking about tomorrow.

Right. Like it’s not our jurisdiction to know.

And I mean, there’s other scriptures that we could read. I’m sure you guys are thinking of the birds of the air and how does not soil or, you know, or God takes care of the birds of the air and how much more does. He’d take care of his own children. If you’ve been walking with the Lord, I’m sure that you have testimonies and examples in your life of how God has provided. And I know I do. And just even thinking about those testimonies helps me to remember that he’s a God worthy of being trusted and to surrender back to him. My worries and my fears through prayer and giving them back to him. When I start getting tempted to take things into my own hands. And so I hope that that is an encouraging and encouraging word to you, but I also hope that it’s one that spurs you to be proactive about giving God your fears, giving God your worries. And and, you know, one thing I think that is super important is that God calls us as parents as well as young people to be holy because he’s holy. And so when we are choosing to walk in a way that God has called us to because we love him, because we want to follow his Word, because we know that God has our best interest at hand and we’re seeking him for wisdom. And we’re we’re trying to do what’s right in the eyes of the Lord to live righteously. Right. Because, yeah, that’s what God calls us to when we’re trying to do that. And things go hard because life can be hard sometimes. We still can glorify him in those times. And I think that those are the pivotal times that our kids have an opportunity more than anything, to learn what life is about. That’s actually the best boot camp for them is to see us.

How many times my parents have been like, Well, it’s okay. Even though this is happening right now, like look at what God did do. And that’s so impactful and so beautiful to see the good side of things. And it it will influence your kids if you’re open and you’re sharing with them about the hardships.

I haven’t think about like people who maybe are listening and are leaving a new legacy. I know that Isaac and I have shared a little bit about our story here in the podcast before, but if there’s stuff that’s in your past or just even things that you’ve grown up with, that you’ve become very, very vividly aware of the worldliness that exists in the world. I’ll just put it that way for maybe some little ears that are listening and you’re aware of what’s going on. One of the things that I know that has been helpful for Isaac and I and something that we felt called to by the Lord is in a spirit of humility to share with our kids about the mistakes that we have made, about the regrets that we have from our childhood or our youth or or just even sharing with them like how grateful we are that Jesus saved us and that He changed us, that he gave us a new life. That when we were born again in him, we are a new creation. And how much of a blessing we’ve been able to we’ve been walking in this for 23 years, since we’ve been married, right where we’ve been building a new legacy and not hiding that truth of what’s truth about the world is what I’m saying. Like, don’t hide that from your kids, but instead humbly. So choosing not to allow the spirit of pride to exist in you and humbly being honest about those things so that your children are more prepared and more equipped and don’t make. I mean, hopefully, Lord willing, not the same mistakes, right? I mean, that’s.

One of the things like you you as a parent, you did do all you can. And yeah, I mean, we’re not perfect. And I’m sure, like, everyone makes mistakes, but it is the kids. It’s their own walk with the Lord and that’s their own path and just nurturing and being loving and by their side and just doing everything that the Bible has told you to do. The best thing is we can do. But. Yeah, it’s. It’s. It’s their own walk with the Lord.

You know, there’s two things that kind of come to mind as we’re about to wrap up here. But one of the things that I get asked a lot is, hey, so when Kelsey went to college or when Austin got married and they were X age or whatever, like, how did you know? Like, do you does it feel weird? Like, were they ready? And honestly, that was, well, maybe for you as their sister, right? Because you saw yourself as like an equal with them for sure. But like, for me as a mom, I knew that I had done all I could do to raise them up in the Lord. And I had been faithful as much as possible. And I there was nothing more like I literally got to the end and I was like, okay, I feel like I’ve done due diligence and now it’s up to you. And God, like I had to let my.

Hands open their own experience.

Right? And like, I think that when you have done that, to be able to go into that launch season, you’re not hanging on tight and like, Oh.

Wait, wait, wait, come back, come back. No, I forgot to tell you this week.

Yeah, yeah. And it’s not that like there haven’t been times where I’ve had conversations. Of course there have, like, you know, I just even think of Austin now being a dad for the first time, there have been a whole host of new types of conversations that we’ve been able to have, and it’s been awesome and it’s brought us closer. But like when you raise your kids in such a way where you trust them and or maybe you don’t trust them, but you trust God in them, right? Because you see the fruit in their life, then you feel good about them launching and you can have hands off and trust the Lord. And I guess that that would like isn’t that that’s my hope for myself. That’s my hope for all the parents that are out there. But Megan, why don’t you share about the last thing that we had talked talked about just regarding moving into the future and not having fear of the future because of all the what ifs?

Yeah, not focusing on the what ifs, but knowing like if you’re constantly thinking about what if tomorrow like the Bible verse was talking about, then that that creates anxiety in your heart and that creates worry and fear of man rather than fear of God, and instead thinking about if Ben’s like, how am I going to react? How am I to respond, how am I going to glorify God in this certain situation that I see could happen? That’s the real question we should be looking at, not what, Oh, that bad thing is going to happen, what our response is and how we can glorify God and show his light through our trials or our troubles.

I love it so much. One of the verses when she said that, I went, Oh my goodness, that’s so clever. It’s so biblical because I started thinking of the Scripture and I think it’s first Timothy 215 that says, And women shall be saved and childbearing if they continue in faith, love and holiness with sobriety. Some versions say self control and they continue. It’s if they continue. And so like how many women struggle going about like having anxiety about all the unknowns that are going to happen in childbirth like that’s like a huge thing is what if this happens? What if that happens? What if what know? And they and they’re like, really?

Like, I don’t know what’s going to be like.

Even when they are experienced. Every birth is a new birth and there’s always unknowns. And so if you focus on the unknown, what ifs, the anxiety rules, the moment, but instead, if you’re like, Well, I know that my future is in God’s hands, what I need to focus on is my part that I’m called to, which is if I continue in faith, love and holiness with self control, then God.

Will give you the strength to pursue those trials or pursue those hardships.

Right. And then he will be glorified through them, right? Like because trials will eventually come.

And then people see that you’re glorifying God. And that’s amazing because.

It builds his kingdom, Right? And like understanding, like, what is the what is our real purpose in life? At the end of the day, it’s not to like, make ourselves more known. No, it’s to make God known right.

Apart from the world. Be a little sore thumb right there and just be like, I’m different and God exists.

That’s right. And it’s okay to be weird according to what the world thinks and but instead to be, like, strong in who you are and your identity in him and pursuing truth and standing up for truth and knowing that that is like never a loss. Yeah. So thanks for joining us today. I hope you guys were encouraged by our conversation. Check out last week’s podcast as well as we were really encouraging people to take a look at how they’re parenting and how that impacts kids. On if they want to have kids later in life when they’re adults. See you next time.


Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. For more resources, go to courageous parenting and courageous mom dot com for free online workshops, blog posts and bestselling courses. Also, we wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program. Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week we release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

This is an incredible self. Pace program, where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s a supportive community. You’ll have access to our private online group, live Webcasts and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragement straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentor program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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