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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous.

Mom and Isaac from Resolute Man Together pursuing the mission to impact 10 million families and their legacies for the Kingdom of God.

We’ve been married for 23 years and are seeing the fruit from raising our nine children biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children, as too many from Christian families are walking away from their faith by the age of 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

We’re praising the Lord. That ministry continues to expand and impact more legacies. We couldn’t do this without you. Whether you pray for us, give us five star reviews, or share on social.

Or even if you purchase courses and merch or join the Be Courageous app community, enjoy the coffee or support financially. We’re so thankful you are a big part of the 10 Million Legacies movement.

If you want access to all the episodes, show notes, and other biblically based resources, go to Be Courageous Ministry.

Org. Join us as we start another important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world. Hey, welcome to the podcast. Hey guys. So glad you’re here. We’re talking about perfect isn’t who Jesus came for. And we know Jesus came for everyone. But we’re making a point here.

That’s right. I mean, Christmas is around the corner, so what a better time than now to talk about his coming?

In that sense, this is a really important warning for Christian parents. Yes, there’s so many children that fall away from the Lord, uh, being raised up, even intentional Christian homes. And there’s a part of it, as we’ve been discussing and doing this ministry now for five years, um, that really has to do with the environment of the home and really the culture of the home, um, you know, and the.

Massive impact that it has on our kids.

Yeah, it really does. Yeah, it really does. And so we’re going to talk about some things. As you listen, I would just encourage you to reflect upon yourself also your spouse, but you first and your spouse and think about what is being cultivated in the environment of your home and through the influences you allow your children to be involved with, too, right?

I mean, culture can be easily swayed by by one influence at a time. Right? And but the most powerful influence is really the parents and the home. And we need to understand, um, how even just the standards that we have can portray things that maybe we don’t want them to portray. And so we’re going to talk a little bit more about that today. Um, I love that you started this with this is a warning for Christian parents because that really, truly was when we were talking about this. This was really the heart of it is, you know, when when most of I would assume that the majority of people listening to the Courageous Parenting podcast are Christians and they’re raising their children intentionally to love Jesus, to know the Lord, to want to serve him, to know the true gospel. Right. And, you know, as someone who was raised in a Christian home, I remember all sorts of kinds of feelings and, and perceptions and, and, um, even lies that the enemy tried to tempt me with, like, you don’t have a powerful testimony, things like that, that would make me like when I would hear people have these radical testimonies on stage, and I would hear about their conversion and how they met Jesus and how they’re a new creation. I remember sitting and thinking to myself, oh, I don’t, I don’t think I my testimony can’t compare to that, that look at the temptation of the comparison trap for women, right?

We wouldn’t want children to think they have to go experience tragedy, to then swing back and have a compelling testimony for the Lord.

And that’s that is something that, as Christian parents, we need to understand that is a temptation to believe that lie to to believe that like, oh, your conversion isn’t maybe fully real if you haven’t, um, rebelled or you haven’t gone away or you haven’t tried out other religions or other faiths or whatever, which, by the way, this is the message that is being sent to children about all kinds of things. It’s leading to confusion. And so, you know, if you haven’t listened to our other podcast, by the way, on Don’t Let Anyone Confuse Your Kids, that would be a good second one to listen after this would be we’re gonna go.

That was just an example. We’re going to go into some some more things of really how to what to watch for in your home, regardless of whether you have toddlers right now, uh, middle school kids, teenagers, whatever is in your home, this will be helpful to you, but we so appreciate you being part of the 10 Million Legacies movement. You know, we’re so excited about next year. We just sent an email out about Double Impact. If you didn’t get it, make sure you get on our email list. We’ll probably send it out again. But or a version of it, at least the impact part. We’re so excited. We really see that God could do some incredible things in this next year. He did incredible things this year. The greatest impact of the five years of doing this that we’ve ever experienced, and that’s God doing it. Uh, over 1.1 million downloads so far and so many other impact points, 189 countries people are impacted, including places like Iran, Israel, China, um, Russia, you know, all over the place. And it would be in more countries if it was translated, obviously. But it’s only where people you know know English.

That’s true.

Yes. Yeah.

But, you know, we just want to say thank you for for listening. You can go to be Courageous Ministry. Org to sign up on that email list that Isaac was just mentioning. If you haven’t yet signed up, there’s also a bunch of other really neat things to check out on our website. Um, and one of the things that I love about the latest email that you sent out, and this might just give an insight too, is we share. Yeah, well, we created it together. You sent them technically, but but we share our vision for the next year and the things that we feel like God is laying on our hearts to create for you guys. And so that I feel like is also really exciting to point out. So if you aren’t on the email list, we just really want to encourage you. It’s pretty much the only way you can guarantee you’re going to hear from us.

Actually, I made it even easier. You can go to be Courageous Ministry. Org forward slash newsletter and that email is also there just in case you. Don’t get it. So make sure you go take a look at that so you can hit the link. All the show notes are there through there or courageous Parenting.com to hit podcast and boom you get all the show notes for every episode. Um, join us in the app community too. It’s free for the first month. Okay, let’s dive in. So really, you know, I think the first thing we should talk about is, you know, how do you have standards, biblical standards, as you’re raising your children. And I would agree that we should have high standards. Um, you know, God wants us to have high standards, but at the same time not be projecting, even unintentionally, that we’re expecting perfection. And the reason that’s so important is because the Pharisees looked at themselves as people that were the most perfect in society, and they were projecting this. And those are the very people that Jesus was using as examples is likely not going to heaven.

Yeah. I mean, it’s a huge warning in that, right? I just think of the whole looking at the plank in your own eye, speck in your brother’s eye that comes into my mind as well. That would have been a helpful message for those Pharisees during that time, right? Because they a lot of what they were looking at themselves and then comparing to other people and God is really, truly he says, man looks at outward appearance. I look at the heart. And so as parents, we want to model that as well and care most about the heart. Not on not so much about outward appearance. Right. And so we’re going to dig into what that looks like more and more in this podcast. But we want to start with the Bible verse Matthew 2323.

Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites for you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law, justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done without neglecting the others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel. They’re like missing the point completely. Yeah, they’re they’re trying to do everything right to perfection and expecting that out of other people. Otherwise they’re not part of the in-crowd is the sense I get in the Bible. And really, God wants a transformed heart, and he spent time with those who knew they were imperfect, those who had a humility about them that understood they have sin. And while you’re saying Amen, yes to that, the question is, do your children see you operating that way as their leaders in the home? Do they see a humble heart? Do they see a posture of I’m not perfect and apologizing sometimes, and not being right? Do they see someone who desperately understands and is thankful for their need for Jesus?

That’s huge, because I think that there is an element, right, of a legalistic home. We’re going to talk about this where there’s the difference between a legalistic or religious home, as we call it, or a relationship, faith based relationship home. And ultimately, like if there’s something that you take away from today, I want to ask you a hard question. I want I want you to just stop for a second, maybe pause the podcast if you have to, and ask yourself, what is the culture of my home? Is it more legalistic? Is it more religious? Do these things and you will be accepted. Do these things and gain love and smiles from mom and joy? Or is it relationship based? Is it focused and centered on the gospel? Is there conversations being had throughout the day where it’s like, I know, honey, I know it’s hard to forgive. That’s why we need Jesus. Because it’s hard for us in our human, in our humanity to do that on our own. We need it. Let’s pray together. Are you are you taking the time to do this? I remember with our a lot many years ago, like 20 years ago, I remember one of the kids, um, I that will remain nameless to. They were having a hard time with the sibling and they were just constantly at each other. And I remember this kiddo crying with me before bed and saying, mom, I just makes me so mad and I, I can’t.

I’m having a hard time forgiving him. And and I think that this kid was like four years old, and I, I just remember going, I know that it’s hard. That’s why we need Jesus. Let’s pray together. And every night praying and then coming back again the next night going, how did that relationship today? How was it today? Every single night. Coming back to that question, not sweeping it under the carpet, not pretending like it wasn’t there, like we have some perfect family and going, oh, everybody’s like that. Everybody has that. Relationship with their brother. Like, nope, not saying those things, but really digging in and going, I hear you and I see the complications. How can I help you? I’m going to lead you to Jesus, because he’s really the only one that can help you. And being able to also like, as they grow older, to see the transformative work that Jesus has done in that relationship to where those two kids are like best friends. And it’s just like, it’s awesome to, as a parent, look back over the last, you know, over a decade and see that transformative work. And so I bring up that little story. Hopefully it gives some of you hope. If you have kids that are struggling with sibling relationships, but also more than that, I hope that what you take away is the time spent for the real heart conversation that was pointing kids back to Jesus, not to yourself.

Not going, I’m going to fix this. I’m going to discipline them. I mean, maybe, maybe something happened where you did have to correct your child. Maybe. And that’s appropriate, right? Because we want to be faithful where God has called us to be faithful as parents, but also taking the time to to point to your child, that is, admitting that they’re having a hard time forgiving and pointing them to the only source that’s going to help them be able to forgive. This is huge. Yeah, this is this is what the Scripture you just read in Matthew 2323 was talking about not neglecting mercy. You know, I think of scriptures that say, forgive lest ye be forgiven. And this is this is a salvation issue. Like we as Christian people should be able to forgive others. And hey, I am human. I’m just like all of you. Like there are times where someone’s transgression is so hurtful that it’s like, I don’t know if I could ever forgive that. But then I think about the advice I give my little four year old that was sitting in the bed, and I go, I need to do what I taught him to do. And this you guys, we have to do that as parents. And and Jesus looks at us just like we look at our little child. Isn’t that beautiful?

And one of the roadblocks to all of this is your relationship with your children. It’s got to be strong. It’s got to be growing. It’s got to be cultivating open communication, not closed communication, not one way communication where children feel comfortable increasingly as they get older, communicating about anything and their their imperfection is actually the sin in their life. And these kinds of things and questions and doubts, they have to feel comfortable with that. But the natural thing is they increasingly feel uncomfortable talking to parents as they get older. And so that’s on us as parents to cultivate that, because only if you have strong relationships with your children and that open, growing, good communication with your children will standards upholding standards not feel like legalism, while upholding standards not feel like you expect perfection, but instead you can have standards, high biblical standards, and protect and equip your children while at the same time them understanding that you don’t expect them to be perfect. And I think that it’s something.

They could never attain, right?

In the opposite of that is if the relationship’s not as strong and they’re not feeling comfortable communicating with you and you just have high standards, it’s going to start feeling potentially like a legalistic home. And in their teenage years, they might start calling you a hypocrite, especially if they didn’t see humility in you. Mhm.

It’s interesting because when I think about those two categories, right, you got the legalistic, more religious home, the check off the box, go to church on Sunday. Um you know which is good. Obey the ten commandments like a focus. And when I, when I compare those two the two differences of culture potentially. So this is the thing. If you have a relationship driven home, are you going to still teach your kids the Ten Commandments? Yes, yes you are. Because like John 14 says, where he says, if you obey me, you you will. If you obey me, you love me. If you. And he says it again, if you love me, you will obey my commandments. He literally says it four times in the book of John in chapter 14. Go read it. And it’s that really, truly is the heart of the parent who has the relationship focus, like, let’s know God, right? Versus let’s just do what the Bible says, check, check, check, check, check. There’s a difference there. And so I think that, you know, for parents it’s not like one or the other. It’s actually that there is a combination, a combining. Because Jesus didn’t come to nullify the law, he came to fulfill it. And he’s saying, this is important, and if you love me, it will be a fruit in your life that I see based upon what you do and don’t do and those sorts of things.

That’s true. It’s like faith without works is dead and works without faith is dead. But we as parents need to like, take. Step back and evaluate our homes and go, okay, hold on a second. What are my kids maybe perceiving? Mhm. Um, and here’s a verse for the more relationship based home which is John 17 verse three it says and this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. And then it just continues talking about glorifying God on earth. And the father and I, I think about that verse and the focus, right, like, what is our focus all the time? And I think back to like, I mean, we still have little kids in the home and we have kids outside the home that have launched. And and I just think about when you have little kids, it’s easy to focus on the don’t do this, do this, do this, don’t do this over and over and over again throughout the day. I think that’s one of the reasons why, like toddlers, one of their more common words is no, because they hear it often. Right. And and I think that, you know, for parents, we should also while you want to be teaching your kids, no, don’t put your finger in the outlet.

You know, of course you’re going to say no to things. We also want our days to be filled with introducing Jesus to our children, introducing God the Father to our children, introducing inviting the Holy Spirit to be a part of our home with our kids. And when we have moments throughout our day where we’re we’re focused on Jesus and we’re focused on God, we’re focused on the Holy Spirit. We’re singing, we’re having worship. Right? It it changes the culture of the home. And then there’s still those moments where maybe you’ve got worship music playing throughout the day and you have to correct a child, or you have to confront the disrespect, or you have to talk to them about the the disobedience, and there has to be a consequence. And, you know, you’re still there’s both are happening. But ultimately, what is the focus, though, is that you’re looking at the child and talking to them about how you want to have a close relationship with them and how you love them, regardless of what they do or don’t do, but that it does break your heart when they choose to sin, just like it breaks the father’s heart.

And that word sin is so important. I think sometimes parents are not proactively talking to their kids about what sin is, and calling out sin in their lives and admitting when they sin and apologizing to the children. There should be those examples. And Hebrews 11 six it says, and without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists, and that he rewards those who seek him. Isn’t that what we want our children seeking after him and believing and believing him?

And we’re just doing we’re just cultivating that.

We’re encouraging that. But that that check off the list that you were talking about, and I really believe that going to church on Sundays and being involved in something midweek and, um, you know, just praying at dinnertime, uh, the simple usual prayer isn’t really, um, a relationship with God driven home. While those are good things, and you might be able to look around and go, wow, I’m doing good compared to others, that is irrelevant. Um, yes.

God doesn’t compare his kids.

It is like, I just want to challenge every family. Maybe your family is this way, but I want to challenge every family to break out of your comfort zone. Maybe worshiping with your spouse and your kids is uncomfortable. Well, we need to get out of our comfort zone and be active in our relationship with God and with our family. It is vital. Maybe praying out loud with your spouse is uncomfortable. We need to break out of that. Maybe, you know, having, you know, some prayer time, just praying for the week or these kinds of things is uncomfortable. Maybe talking about things in terms of, you know, what has God been doing and and making a list and rejoicing in his goodness is uncomfortable for you or an afterthought, or you feel like there’s not enough time. What is more, there isn’t anything more important than these things. And I think with the assault on children and families and marriages that’s coming on strong in culture and society and the antagonistic, uh, view of Christians is and that’s just going to grow. We need to be strong. It takes more intentionality and courage, uh, than previous generations we have to be in. We can’t be on the sidelines. We can’t be just, you know, nominal and halfway and and doing what used to be considered good. We have to be real. This is real Christianity. This is really diving in and them seeing something real. And what also shows real is our next point, which is humility starts with you. Hey, we’re just going to take a quick moment and share the profound importance and impact of the Parenting Mentor program.

You guys, I don’t know if you know this, but we started the Parenting Mentor program five years ago right about this time. We were putting it together and it was such a fun experience. Just to be even creating it. What an honor. And we’ve learned a lot over the last five years as we’ve been doing these programs faithfully. Every six weeks, we’ve been gathering with other like minded Christians and going through this curriculum that we created that has, wow, hours of teaching hours.

It’s self-paced, but each group starts at the same time. You don’t technically have to start at that time, but that’s when your dashboard starts populating one session a week for six weeks. There’s three lives. We answer questions. You get access to other powerful community, the app for free for three months.

You also get the Parenting Mentor packets that come with each of the six sessions that are on really relevant topics concerning issues of today with parenting. So we just love engaging with parents. We’ve had over 3000 parents go through the Parenting Mentor program in the last five years, and we would love to invite you to join us for the next one. Yeah. Before we get into the humility Starts with you part, I just want to make a point. You were talking about how, you know, the going to church, going to midweek, maybe going to the prayer meeting, all those things don’t necessarily, um, if you’re doing those things, it’s not necessarily, uh, a reflection of a heart relationship or a heart focus. And I 100% agree with that because there is an element of, uh, of, um, there’s a warning all throughout Scripture we see this. Don’t be like the Pharisees. Don’t be hypocrites. Jesus says it over and over again, actually in the Gospels. And he warns Christians. He warns his followers to not be like the scribes in the Pharisees. And go ahead, Isaac. Yeah, this.

Is a perfect spot for it. So Luke 18 nine through 14 he says he also told his parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and treated others with contempt. So these people were thinking they’re righteous and treating others that weren’t as righteous. With contempt, two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus God, I thank you that I’m not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week. I give tithes of all that I get. But the tax collector standing far off would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, God, be merciful to me, a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.

What’s interesting about that, too, is that I don’t want you guys to mistake what we’re saying, because going to church is important. It’s a good, very important, faithful thing. God calls us to be faithful. We can’t stop there. That was one of the things that he said, like, you neglect these things. What were the things? Faithfulness, mercy and justice were the three examples that God Himself gives that were being neglected. And so we would call you to be faithful and taking your family to church and call you to be faithful, and going to prayer meetings and meeting and gathering with other people for prayer. But this is the thing that both of these men, both the humble man and the self-righteous man, did the practice of going to the temple. But one of them had a sincere, humble heart posture towards the other, while the other had a self-righteous posture towards God. And so as we are going to church and we’re getting because that’s a fruit of like when you love Jesus, you are going to be wanting to go to church. The Bible says.

Do not forsake the gathering. Well, that’s true.

But he also like there’s this desire when you know Jesus and when you love him and you, you just want more of him. You’re going to want to be, you know, stirred up by the fellowship of believers. You’re going to want to go and encourage others. You’re going to want to go and serve. You’re going to want to go and disciple. You’re going to want to go and learn. You’re going to want to go and worship. And so obviously going to church even on a like often is how it can truly be a mark of a humble heart posture of someone who loves God deeply. But going to church can also, on the outside, be a mark of a self-righteous person. That’s checking the things off the list, like Isaac just read. And so our heart in this is like to go, hey, evaluate which one are you? Which one do your kids think you are and fix it?

Or is there even a little bit of it, you know, uh, comparing to other families and things like talking about it with your kids, where develops an elitist attitude in your family. These kinds of things is their pride building because of your conversations after church and these kinds of things? Uh, or are they viewing the church as a great thing and other people as, as good, but all sinners, all in need of Jesus, you know, so, so important? In Luke 15, uh, seven just kind of goes along with this. Just so I just so I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous persons. Who need no repentance. That’s really the thing is, people who really are prideful and, um, they’re independent at a level where they don’t need God and they’re operating in their own strength, and they’re not giving God the credit, and they’re going so fast that they they stop to really pay attention to the relationships and to spend that time needed. And they’re not available for questions and doubt and the real conversations one on one with children. And, uh, we’re just going to the next thing. And pretty soon it can feel religious versus relationship with God, even if your heart intentions are different than that. And we have to be careful. And really it’s about are we repentant? Are we? Do we understand our sin? We don’t want, you know, we have Jesus, right? We have Jesus. Praise the Lord. But, uh, we never want to stop feeling a deep need for Jesus. Like, you know what I mean?

That reality, that awareness of and of honest, it’s honest self-reflection, right? Self-examination. As the Bible talks about it, where you’re going, Lord, search my own heart. Is there any wayward way in me as a parent having that attitude, having that posture? It’s really a posture that it that changes in you when you take time to think about the the struggles that you’ve had, whether it’s, um, being short tempered or rushed or about your agenda or cranky because you’re sleep deprived versus exercising emotional self-control or, or whether it’s being selfish in the moment. And when your husband asks you to do something for him and you’re like, I’ve been serving people all day long, like, where’s your heart at? In in these responses, even if you don’t verbalize anything like what’s going on in your mind, what’s going on in your heart, only you and God know those things. And when you pay attention to those things, that should literally break all of us to a posture of going, I’m a sinner, I need Jesus. I need your help, Lord, make me strong. Help me to be compassionate. Help me to be patient. Help me to be merciful, faithful. Help me to see where I need to have justice. Like when we get to that place in our walk with God where we recognize that we’ve never arrived, but that we’re always still learning. That’s when we like that is what we need to be modeling for our children. Because the truth is, is if if we’re going to invite our kids to know who Jesus is, it’s not like a one time introduction of, oh, by the way, this is my friend Jesus, and he just changed my life forever and gave me eternal life. And this is him.

You know it. No discipleship of your children. We say this all the time. It’s not a one time event. It’s woven through the fabric of your every day lives. It’s it’s the the common occurrences of experiencing God throughout the day, whether it’s you as a, as the mom or the dad saying and verbalizing to your kids. Oh, honey, I know that that’s hard. I’ve struggled with that before, and your kids all of a sudden going, whoa, you have. I think that there’s sometimes with parents and I know, I remember feeling this way a long time ago. I used to think that when you were a parent, you needed to have all the answers and you needed to have the right answers. But truly, when you understand that you are a human and that you don’t know everything, and that you have access to the one who does, instead of trying to be the one with all the answers, you humbly go, I don’t know, but let’s figure it out together. Yes, and I think that if more parents were willing to just be honest about that, it would change the church today. It would change the legacies of today. We would see less pharisaical people leaving the church, and then just coming back and taking their kids on Christmas and Easter or whatever, and you would see more of a heart approach of, wait a second, my mom, she went to God to get the answers. I saw her do it every day. Or my dad. I saw him humbly trying to do things that were uncomfortable. I loved earlier when you used, um, doing family worship, even if it’s uncomfortable because that that was that was part of our story, right?

Like I didn’t know how to sing at all.

And so. But but worship was important, like, you and I had decided we’re going to leave a new legacy. We’re going to have worship in our home. And even though we don’t know how to play instruments, we’re going to try to help equip our kids so that they can rise above us, stand on our shoulders, and not struggle with the things that we struggled with. And we’re going to sing with them, and we’re going to delight and have this fun time worshiping God together, even if we have to blast the music because our voices crack or whatever. And.

That’s what we want. We want more rejoicing in his goodness. We want a home. Like, what’s the sign that says this home will serve the Lord? As for me.

And my house, we will serve the Lord.

We will serve the Lord. We will worship the Lord. We will read His Word together. We will give him credit. We’ll share the miracles that are happening in our lives. And we will pray for each other. And we will not just say, we’re going to pray for each other and forget, but we’ll do it in real time. We’ll this, this faith is in in spiritual. The spirituality is integrated in our house. Relationship with God is integrated into the home. And so it’s not about having to go somewhere for spiritual nourishment, which we should go to church for that. But it shouldn’t stop there. There should be spiritual nourishment, there should be real conversations. There should be, uh, talking about, you know, your children’s doubts and having open conversations with them if they have those and giving space for that. Did you ever doubt, uh, in your walk with God? Well, if your children don’t ever feel comfortable and they just start feeling like, well, I’m a tolpin, so I’m a Christian, it should never be like that. And we accidentally naturally start to create that unless we’re purposely making sure that that’s not happening. And while we hope that all tollman’s are believers, I don’t want anybody to think they’re a believer because they have the name Tolpin. I want them to take personal, personal responsibility to have a direct relationship with God that is 100% their own. And I’m just here to fan their flames. I’m here to help answer questions. I’m here to, you know, uh, show them what it looks like as an example to love God and be an example of that. And Angie’s the same way. And we sometimes get upset at our kids. We sometimes get a little too loud when we talk to our kids. You know, these kinds of things happen at times. We lose our patience. Sometimes we get frustrated sometimes. And the beautiful part of that is that we get to we get to come back around.

Apologize and.

Apologize when we did something wrong. When I get agitated, uh, and these kinds of things, it is so important to do that. And we don’t want to be self-righteous. We want to understand our own need for Jesus even after we accepted him. Right. This is an ongoing relationship. Thank you, Lord, for what you did, because I know the the the challenges that I have and you wipe them clean by what you did on the cross and our children, do they really get that right when they’re disobedient? Is it an opportunity to share God with them and Jesus’s goodness?

I mean that or.

Is it just or is it just quickly fix their behavior so I can get on to what I’m doing? It’s that’s.

The heart. That’s the question. You just nailed it on the head for a lot of parents. Because when you especially for stay at home moms who have littles, right. Like you’re in the some people call them the trenches of the training years. And there’s a lot of directing and correcting and and honestly confronting sin at times. And but there’s also joy and there’s also delight. And there’s also like rejoicing with your kids and encouraging them and saying you’re really good at that and seeing them kind of glow. Oh yeah, I am. And and and worshiping with to to music and dancing for Jesus together in the in your pajamas after you’ve had bath time. Right. Like there’s there’s all of these moments all wrapped up in one to where when you’re evaluating like have grace with yourself too. If you’ve been the parent that maybe, maybe you were parented in a legalistic home, maybe you had parents that were harsh and that’s all you remember. And if that’s the case, I just want to encourage you that by God’s grace and goodness and direction in Scripture and seeking him, you can leave a new legacy. And maybe for those of you who were raised in relationship based homes, and you’re just so thankful, and you you look at your parents and you’re like, wow, I want to be like them. And that is something to own and to be thankful for and to share that that is a real gift from God.

And and to not like. At the very beginning of this podcast, I shared with you the temptation I had as a kid that was raised in a Christian home to think to myself and to doubt, oh, am I really saved? I haven’t had a really harsh experience where I rebelled and I came back, and maybe, I don’t know if I would really follow God if I lived through something like that. And you start asking these questions in your head, and I just want to I’m sharing that with you parents because you’re all raising Christian kids, and some of them might struggle with that temptation to believe that lie. So I’m warning you ahead of time. But I’m also wanting to encourage you that during those times, if you teach your kids to be thankful for the generational legacy that they have been blessed to be raised with, that that is a powerful testimony because hello, it’s rare today. It’s rare today to be able to say I come from six generations of Christians or like, that’s amazing, where they perfect people. No, because no one’s ever perfect. But look at the the the picture of faithfulness and faithfulness of God through the generations in your family. That’s amazing. Your kids should know that if that is what you come from, and they should grab on to that. And and that should be something they should be so proud of and thankful for.

Well, I hope this was helpful to you all. Thank you so much for joining the podcast.

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