Don’t Run The Parenting Race Alone

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Episode Summary

Do you feel like you are running the parenting race alone? It will be almost impossible to launch confident Christian kids without real Biblical community. If you aren’t proactive in doing this well, your kid’s peers will likely cause them to veer off course.

Isaac and Angie discuss what real Biblical community looks like with the practical tips you need to cultivate it where you are.

The normal Christian approach to parenting is inferior today to equip confident Christian kids to launch with purpose into this world and stand for righteousness.

We can’t do it alone, we need other believers in our community backing us up, speaking that same truth into our kid’s minds and hearts.

It takes being in real Biblical community with other parents who are striving to obey the word of God to experience mutual accountability, encouragement, and worthy friends for your kids.

Key Takeaways From Episode

  • We don’t want to have a spirit of fear about our culture. We are supposed to fear God only. When we trust and obey God, there is nothing to fear in this world. We must teach this to our kids so they anticipate being an influence in the world while still in your home and then beyond.
  • If you are feeling lonely send this podcast to a friend you want to go deeper in relationship with to cultivate the conversation.
  • Everyone you are around also is shaping your kids in a good or bad way.
  • Who we are is partially the result of who we spend time with, if we want to attract better people we may need to become more ourselves.
  • When you think of Biblical church, you want to go where you can trust the people you fellowship with because you are allowing them to be around your kids and their kids.
  • You can’t really trust people unless there is a foundational agreement that the Bible is the true authority for how to live our lives.
  • If someone isn’t walking in the light, then you aren’t going to be able to have deep fellowship with one another because it’s hard to be vulnerable in communication.
  • You are either walking in the light or in the darkness
  • You better really know who you spend time with and their kids as over 80% of men are addicted to pornography and walking in the dark.
  • Are you going to ask a deep question if you don’t want that same deep question asked of you?  Nope.
  • You are going to stay surfacy if you don’t want people to ask you deep questions because you have something to hide.
  • If you are willing to give accountability to others then you better be ready to receive it.
  • It’s so amazing when you are obedient to God because it enables you to have a deep relationship with Him. This makes it easier to have deeper relationships with friends, and then you are modeling that for your children. It also makes it easier to have deeper relationships with your kids too.
  • If you trust people you go to church with, then you want older women to speak into your daughter’s lives and older men into your son’s lives.
  • God set up His body of Christ to be a family of believers, one body and we each play a role as a part of it.
  • It’s important to spend time with people who value your kids, and actually, want to have conversations with them.
  • There are three kinds of friends; friends, friendlies, and frienemies: This has helped us have a vocabulary teaching our kids to discern how to approach different “Friendships”.
  • This helps you clarify who to pursue deep friendships with, who to influence to see if they can become deeper friends but maybe spend less time with, and who to be friendly to, witness to, but perhaps not spend time with unless they change.
  • Develop trust and open communication with your kids so that they feel comfortable coming to you when something wrong happens. Then you can discuss it right away and even talk with the other Mom about it right then.
  • If your friends are committed to parenting Biblically they won’t take offense to their kid’s sin,  because we know that’s human nature and we can discuss in an objective way without offending each other, getting to the heart of the problem and move on.
  • Peer to peer relationships are a powerful influence on your kids. Who your kids spend time with will largely impact who they become.
  • If you aren’t intimately understanding who they are spending time with and purposeful about that, you’re making a big mistake.
  • If your friends aren’t growing spiritually, then their kids likely won’t either and will usurp your authority over time.
  • It’s vital to teach your kids the importance of not being a follower in situations where sin happens in their friend groups.  You must proactively train them to stand for righteousness in tough situations.
  • We want to model for our kids being around people who are wise because we want them to look for the same in their friendships.
  • We all have different strengths and weaknesses, other people can see our blind spots and we should be able to get close enough to see theirs. God made us in a way where we have to need others.  There’s no person that has it all together and do life Biblically and effectively alone.
  • You get, what you give. It’s so easy to feel lonely when we are only thinking about ourselves, and sometimes we have to give to get.
  • You have to go out on a limb, being brave with your own vulnerability. Sometimes we need to lead in vulnerability to show others what it looks like.
  • Go to a friend and share “I really want our friendship to be more purposeful as I’m craving a deep relationship. Do you want to read the Bible together?”
  • Men, do you want your sons to have the same kind of relationships you do?  If you don’t, then you need to fix them now.
  • Who do you need to get real with? Talk about Biblical things, ask for accountability, confess sin, talk about the challenges you’re facing, discuss impacting your sons together.
  • When you walk through trials, that’s when you see true friendships and in the valley, they become stronger.
  • Is a competitive spirit within you creating friction in your relationships? Is a lack of transparency causing you to have to appear a certain way to be in friendship with someone?  Stop it!
  • It’s important that we don’t allow any kind of sin to continue in our kid’s lives. We need to call it out. If your kids have a competitive spirit tearing other kids down to puff themselves up, we need to expose and correct it.
  • There are three kinds of relationships you should have; peers, , mentors, and those you are mentoring.
  • Do people want their kids to be like yours?
  • let’s model friendship and Biblical community so our kids are raised up with a multitude of wise friendships and counselors around them supporting your parenting!

Scriptures From This Episode

1 John 1:7 “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.”

1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits.”

Proverbs 13:20 “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

Phillippians 2:2-4 “Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

James 5:16 “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

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Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Vik says

    I appreciate this podcast series!! I was not raised in a home that valued Christ. And now that I have a family, I have so many practical and mindset questions.
    Looking forward to your mentorship program & homeschooling outline!

    Thank you!!

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