Family Vision Questions Every Married Couple Should Discuss

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Episode Summary

If your marriage isn’t aligned, your parenting will struggle behind. If you don’t reflect on the year so far, in these ways, you likely won’t make the adjustments needed. Join our current marriage conversation around three crucial questions we believe every marriage should discuss.

Join our marriage conversation we are working through right now to lead our family with purpose as we finish this year and build momentum into next. We invite you to think through three questions with us that will keep our marriages and family going in the right direction.

Vision is incredibly important as it brings meaning to the mundane and furthers ongoing clarity on what matters.

It’s so easy to get caught in a busy rhythm that doesn’t lead to where we actually want to be as a marriage and family by the end of the year.

It’s important to stop and reflect so we can make small adjustments that make a large difference.

It can be encouraging too as you have accomplished some things and you may want to add to your family or personal initiatives too.

It’s also vital to reflect on where your kids are at right now with their faith, character, and obedience issues so you can re-focus on what they need from you.

We encourage you to make a list of things you want to go over with your spouse as you listen to this.

Subscribe to our email list to receive the NEW DATE NIGHT VISION SHEET!

This new one-sheet download is helpful as you go on a date night to discuss the different areas of life and assess what to grow in and help your kids make progress. If you are on the email list open it to get it this week!

If you’re not on the email list go to to signup for it.

We’re letting you in on our own marriage discussion right now

Q1: How is our family culture going this year?

Culture is;

  • The actual behavior that happens when no one’s looking.
  • It’s the ethos, the actual thinking and what’s acceptable.
  • The unwritten rules.
  • The heart posture of each person in your family

Evaluate the heart attitudes in your family. When your family has a focus, actions flow out of that.

Our culture driving initiatives for this year we launched in January are;

  • We vs. me
  • We are creators
    Less consumption and more using our gifts and passions to contribute to others.
  • Generosity
    • Generous with time, money, forgiveness and things.
    • Instead of what I want to do right now and thinking about what God wants me to do at the moment.

How do you have joy if you’re not generous?

It’s about creating simple areas of focus.

  • What is one small thing said in our mind, that’s memorable that catalyzes the right behaviors in the moment that cause us to make better decisions, improved communication, and better heart attitudes?
  • If you ware walking in the flesh you will make these decisions in the flesh. If you are walking in the spirit you will make decisions in the spirit.
  • Which decisions do you think will be better?
  • Are you walking in the spirit?
  • Proactive parents make a plan and have a vision. They will see growth in each kid due to their proactive efforts.
  • Versus reactive parenting because you don’t have vision.
    • Their behavior isn’t respectful.
    • Your family isn’t improving in areas you are focused on.
    • It’s vital to have vision from the Holy Spirit. The Spirit gives us discernment on what our kids need so we can focus on it.

Are you living in Chaos?

  • Chaos comes from living as a reactive parent.
  • Overwhelmed by everything.
  • A victim of circumstances.
  • Perhaps look for ways more discipline could help you.
  • Perhaps trusting God more?
  • Sometimes it’s just a feeling more than reality anyway.
  • Maybe you need to ask your spouse for help?

Marriage tips

  • One of the most powerful ways a husband grows spiritually is by the wife asking him theological questions.
  • Use the free Date Night One Sheet to get the ball rolling as a marriage together.
  • Husbands, take initiative and use the one sheet, or write some of the questions down in your journal and communicate with your bride.
  • If your marriage isn’t strong, perhaps “Marriage Matters” is a key culture statement you are going to decide together.
  • Listening could be a focus this year.
  • It’s a great way to get in alignment in your marriage.


Q2: How are our initiatives progressing?

  • An initiative is declaring what to focus on.
  • Make personal ones and family orientated ones as we’ve talked about.
  • Take kids on dates and discuss their initiatives.
  • Ask your kids “What are you passionate about this year that you’re not doing?”
  • Show your kids that you care about their dreams.
  • It’s important with older kids that you involve them in the process of discovering their goals.
  • Make sure your whole family isn’t centered around one person’s growth agenda.
  • We don’t want to push our kids into “our goals” that we had when we were younger.
  • We should value teaching them the self-discipline of setting goals and achieving them.
  • Being introspective on areas to grow is a vital life skill.

Q3: What areas do each of us need to grow in?

  • One of the best gifts you can give your kids is a strong marriage.
  • This will help your marriage thrive.
  • The areas of life we’ve listed as we’ve done this are:
    • Spiritual
    • Relationships
    • Health
    • Personal development
    • Financial
    • Habits
    • Projects
  • Feel free to adjust them to what you want to do.
  • These are the areas we rate ourselves on 1-10, 10 highest in November preparing for the new year.
  • Think about the family this time of year. How is your family doing on these things.
  • Then think about each kid and discern what God’s prompting you about them.
  • How are their relationships with siblings?
  • Their education?
  • Their walk with God or lack of?


Pray and ask God to give you wisdom in how you talk to your spouse about this.

Ask what your kids need from you.


Support The Ministry

  • DONATE, to become a bigger part of shifting the culture of future generations through impacting 1 million families and their legacies. We are in full-time ministry as a family of 10, everything makes a difference.

Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 1 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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