This is a very intimate topic for us as we are currently walking through mourning the loss of Angie’s Dad, so thank you for caring and being willing to hear our hearts on this topic. 

The reality is that fleshly death and loss are an inevitable part of life in this fallen world, but in Christ Jesus, we have hope. The stark difference of walking through this life with or without that hope is undeniable. Either you have hope which produces perseverance, patience, long-suffering, peace, and understanding resulting in more faith, or you have fear, worry, doubt, anxiety, stress, and sadness which leads to depression, purposelessness, and ultimately more death. 

While everyone grieves differently and that is ok, mostly, there are biblical examples, instructions, and exhortations in scripture on how to grieve in a godly way, versus a worldly way. 

I urge you to listen to today’s podcast episode, grab your Bible, a journal, and let’s dig into the word of God and learn together what God wants us to hear, do, and teach our children on this very sensitive topic.

Main Points in This Episode:

• The Journey of Walking Through Grief & Sorrow
• Everyone Grieves Differently 
• Perspectives on walking through loss and what God has to teach you and others
• Those who mourn will be blessed
• When You Mourn You Get to Experience God in a new way
• The Importance of being a biblical friend and the blessing of experiencing God when you weep with those who weep
• Truth about Death
• God Has a Purpose For Your Life NOW
• Parenting your kids through loss

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Scriptures From This Episode:

– Romans 12:15 – “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.“

– 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 – “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.“

– Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.“

– Matthew 5:4- “I“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.“

– Psalm 73:26 – “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.“

– Psalm 23:4 – “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.“

– Psalm  55:22 – “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permitthe righteous to be moved.“

– Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.“

– Romans 8:18 – “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

– Psalm 119:50 – “This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.“

– Psalm 116:15 – “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.“

– 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 – “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.“

– John 11:25-26 – “Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”“

– Revelation 21:4 – “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.“

– 2 Corinthians 7:10 – “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.“

– Romans 14:8 – “For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.“

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Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous.

Mom and Isaac from Resolute Man Together pursuing the mission to impact 10 million families and their legacies for the Kingdom of God.

We’ve been married for 23 years and are seeing the fruit from raising our nine children biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children, as too many from Christian families are walking away from their faith by the age of 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

We’re praising the Lord. That ministry continues to expand and impact more legacies. We couldn’t do this without you. Whether you pray for us, give us five star reviews, or share on social.

Or even if you purchase courses and merch or join the Be Courageous app community, enjoy the coffee or support financially. We’re so thankful you are a big part of the 10 Million Legacies movement.

If you want access to all the episodes, show notes, and other biblically based resources, go to Be Courageous Ministry.

Org. Join us as we start another important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world. Hey, thanks for joining us. Hey, guys. So glad you’re here today. A sensitive topic, but you know, we almost didn’t have Angie on the show today. We were discussing, you know, because of what just happened. Uh, whether, you know, what can Isaac do without her that everybody would still listen to. And we could have figured that out, but. But then you swung back.

I did. So for those of you who don’t know, I mean, I’ve, I’ve shared on social media, just briefly, um, I lost my dad a few days ago. Um, and it’s, you know, whenever you’re dealing with loss or death, there’s grieving. There’s a grieving process, a process of mourning, a journey, if you will. And it looks different for everybody. And, and, um, so, you know, talking about this, I told Isaac, I said, if I, if I talk about this, I do believe that because we’ve experienced loss before, I think we have we’ve experienced it a lot to where we’ve learned a lot over the years. Um, but. I also told him, you know, I might end up crying, so just beware. But but yeah, we’re going to do our best. I’m going to do my best. I’m actually very excited to talk to you guys about this. There’s a lot of scriptures that have been a huge encouragement to me, and even just preparing this podcast, I’m so encouraged. Um, I, I know this is off topic. I’m just going to share a little brief story with you. Um, this morning I got up and I worked out.

So good.

And I have been working out with a neighbor for a little over a month now, and we hold each other accountable. I have I’ve been the one with entrance to the gym locally here, and she picks me up. And so we’ve been holding each other accountable. And, you know, we’ve got our things like we’re doing a plank challenge and a 30 day no sugar. And then it got, you know, challenged to be more like a 90 day no sugar. And I’m feeling good physically. I’m feeling really good. And she is feeling better also. And so that’s a praise. But when you’re grieving when you go through something like this, those are the kinds of things that are like the first things to go because you just you’re maybe up more at night at least. I have been praying, thinking, remembering, weeping, journaling all the things. And then so to get up at six in the morning is like, uh, dragging hard, right? And so I didn’t get up yesterday to work out with her, but we normally don’t work out on Tuesdays. We go every other day kind of thing. And I texted her late last night and said, do you want to go tomorrow? Not that I wanted to mind you, but I knew I needed to, um, I needed to for myself. And then after doing it, I came back and I looked at Isaac. He’s sitting at the table. He made oatmeal for the family, and I go, I feel so good. And it wasn’t just like the physical feel good of having worked out. It was the mental feel good of I am still going to live my life on purpose and be a productive person. That doesn’t mean I don’t take time to grieve, but like we have to keep living also. Yeah, and me taking action and doing something like that. It actually is healthy for me in this process of grieving healthily.

It’s such a good thing. And so Angie just really felt called to share some wisdom about the grieving process journey of grief. And, um, as she’ll talk about, everybody grieves differently and that’s okay. But that this would be an encouragement as she’s dealing with it in real time. You know, we usually shoot the podcast within a 1 to 4 days of it coming out. And I guess this is one of those benefits of the way we do it, which is it’s always raw and real to what’s going on. Right?

Or we have the opportunity for it to be. And I think, um, sometimes when we’re in the midst of it, that’s when we’re learning the most, at least for me, when I’m in the midst of it, I tend to engage. I don’t run away from my feelings. I don’t run away from what is happening. I run towards it and I want to grow, and I want to grieve, and I want I want that, and I desire that because I’m going to share some scriptures with you, and a perspective that I feel like is a biblical perspective when it comes to dealing with loss. Um, but I find that it’s not like you go through the grieving process and then you’re done. That’s not how it works when you’re dealing with death or loss in that kind of a way. Um, and I and I say death or loss because sometimes they’re the same one and the same, like when we lost, we had pregnancy loss and we lost two babies. They there was death that was involved with that, but also life because they are treasures in heaven now with Jesus and also now with my dad. And the thought like that was actually something that I was processing the last six weeks that I didn’t share about, um, because it was the five year mark for one of our losses in the six year mark for another one. And, um. And they were one of them especially was very traumatic. I almost lost my life and we shared that story in.

I think it’s in season two of the podcast. You’re welcome to go back and listen to that. We also have a video of what happened because I learned a lot. Isaac did too, through that whole situation. But, um, I had been kind of already grieving during this time leading up to my dad passing, and then someone just so gently encouraged me that he’s now with his grandbabies, and I literally hadn’t thought of that yet. And it just brought me like it brought me to weeping and mourning again, a little jealousy that he gets to meet my babies before I do. Um, although I had them for a little while here on Earth. Um, but it also brings so much more joy than it does that, like envy, um, I guess, of being able to be with Selah Rose and mercy, but, like, he’s got two grandbabies up there with him along with, you know, our my great grandma VI and other people. And, and so when you think about like, what they could be experiencing with Jesus and worshiping and like and that they’re we’re going to look at what the Bible says a little bit about death as well today. There there is so much to be thankful for and to be joyous for that person that that overwhelms you. And it’s this. That’s why people say it’s bittersweet when you know that a believer has died. And so I think it’s.

A moment of truth for families. Uh, it was interesting just our family meeting up together and just really the kids experiencing this and so forth. And when you’re a Christian, you know where another believer is. Yeah. And they are in a far better place. And that conviction, that absolute belief that believers have can bring you joy in the midst of that grief. Right?

It doesn’t change the grief, but it’s also them.

But also, you have all different kids and their faith may be in different places, but that when they see parents with a biblical perspective on what’s actually happening, what is real, that you know, Papa’s in heaven with God, with no more pain and and joy and all these things. He had joy when he was here too, but in fact an immense amount of joy he would call up. So joyous. He finished so well. It was just incredible how he finished with joy in his heart. Um, not that there.

Weren’t hard days, there were hard moments, and there were hard times because he did suffer. Yes, a lot. It was he he had a lot of physical pain here on earth, but it was a long journey for him.

But his conviction in Jesus and excitement to go meet Jesus in the skies, you would say yes. And that he said, yeah. And just all those things is what a testimony of the truth lived out by the reaction of mature believers.

That’s right. It’s it’s interesting. So as we’re talking about this, um, concept of walking through grief and sorrow today, it is a journey. Okay? There’s not necessarily like I, I just I just wept a little bit, not just for the loss of my own dad, but also for the loss of my babies that I lost six years ago. Five years ago. Right. And so it’s not that you ever get over missing them. You don’t ever get over loss, but you do when you’re a believer and you are saturating your mind in the Word of God, you are encouraged and you are blessed because of it. And there is there’s so many passages of Scripture, but I just personally have this testimony of that. That is truth. That is what I have experienced in my life. And but but not everyone experiences it in the same kind of way because it is based upon where their spiritual relationship is with the Lord, along with their emotional maturity, um, and different things like that. And so we’re going to share some personal tidbits of how things that have been a blessing to us in the last couple days as we’ve been grieving through this, um, process with you guys, just because I believe that this is glorifying to the Lord and it’s honoring to my dad, and it’s helping his legacy, the impact that he has in life to make more impact in more people’s lives. And that’s what he wanted so badly.

Absolutely. And, uh, I can’t wait for people to hear some of the things he shared with you. But but first, I just want to thank you for being part of the ministry. When you listen and share, uh, when you give, uh, be courageous ministry.org when you encourage us, give us messages, YouTube comments, uh, reviews on Spotify, Apple, Google Play, wherever it is, it really spurs us on. It’s not easy to do all the different aspects of the ministry. Walking in faith from a financial perspective. Definitely with a large family. It is amazing and so we can’t do it without you. So whatever way, whether it’s prayer or giving or purchasing courses or whatever it is, um, you know, join us and continue joining us. And we do need the help. So, um, we’re together. We impact. Right. 10 million legacies. Double vision this year is going strong. Uh, I’m very encouraged in a lot of areas on that. We’ll be sending out our newsletter soon. So make sure you’re on our email list. But, Angie, there’s something big happening. Let’s dive in in a second. But there’s something really big. We felt the Lord prompting us to, yes.

We are calling this rooted summer. Um, we you know, we have had a heart for really wanting to partner with churches, um, to help with equipping and discipling, because that’s one of the hardest things that Churchill churches struggle with, specifically with parenting. Yes. Um, but really, to be able to disciple it, what what needs to happen first is relationship. That’s what Jesus did. When we look at what Jesus did on earth with the disciples, he built relationship with them. He walked with them, and then he discipled them and taught them along the way. And he walked with them for a few years. And so while pastors and churches have the the purest of intentions in wanting to disciple people, and that’s beautiful, sometimes the the lacking of depth of relationship is actually the thing that needs to be helped first before they can dig in and actually get the transparency from people to be able to point them to the right scriptures and lead them biblically and equip them. And so we’re this summer, we’re doing something called Rooted Summers, and we are doing something so exciting. We are going to be offering our Biblical Friendship Online Bible study. It’s a course that we normally how much do we normally sell it for?

It’s $139 on the site. Yeah.

And so this summer we’re going to be offering it for free in the Be Courageous app starting when May 1st.

So it takes a little bit of work to get it in there and set up. But that’s in process and completely free. Obviously people have to pay for the app. It’s free for the first week, so it makes it easy to go, hey, let’s join up. Let’s try it out for first week. Make sure you guys love it if you want to continue. It’s literally 899 $8.99 for the app. It’s like having coffee with Angie, but instead you get this full. Cultivating biblical friendships for women. Yes, Bible study, you know, to really overcome the quiet fight in women and I, I’m passionate about God’s church, and this really is a huge thing. We have a unique sense on what’s happening with believers, uh, doing the ministry. We get lots of feedback, Intel and so forth. We’ve done surveys, and one of the biggest challenges is moms feeling alone despite having friends. Right.

Or the comparison trap and really struggling with their identity in Christ, or desiring to have a Titus two mentor and not having one. We have chapters on literally all of these topics, including some of what we are talking about today. I mean, I’m we’re talking about grief today, but there’s an entire chapter or session, if you will, that focuses on the biblical friendship model that Jesus commands us to mourn with those who mourn, rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. And I really believe when I, I remember when I was preparing and writing this study, and I was working with you and working with our pastor at the time and, and going over these different scriptures, it just there was this huge sense in that came over me. I really believe the Holy Spirit led it to open my eyes to see that there is the the language of empathy is something that we have lost today. Our schedules are so busy that people do not take time to truly express empathy and be the biblical friend. When people are going through a trial or suffering or pain or grieving or mourning and, you know, I’ll just share the very first scripture here was Romans 1215. That’s the one that I just kind of quoted here.

It says, rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep, live with harmony in harmony with one, with one another and just. And it talks about like not being haughty, but associating with the lowly. So like, the reason why I’m sharing that with you is because sometimes in relationships we may have good intentions, but it’s easy to judge or get stuck in the comparison trap and not open up to other people about the thing that we’re grieving over because we think, oh, they’re so strong they wouldn’t deal with that. Or they they have never been through something like this before. And we believe those lies and we isolate ourselves even more, which is what the enemy wants. He wants us isolated. But what God designed us for is to be in strong biblical fellowship with one another. But that requires somebody being vulnerable and saying, hey, I’m struggling here, or I lost a parent or I lost a child, would you pray for me? Would you help me? And and it takes humility. On the other person’s side to stop what they’re doing in their busy life, and to truly be empathetic and longsuffering and patient and kind with the other person to serve.

What’s amazing about it, too? It’s all broken up into short videos. Uh, it’s very in depth, but very easy to consume, mobile friendly. So, just so easy for women to go, hey, let’s do this by online Bible study together and to to do it in person together or to do it individually and come together and discuss. Um, there’s obviously the workbook and all the different things. So anyways, completely free for all Be Courageous app subscribers, get in the app, get ready May 1st get your groups together and if you have any questions, reach out to us.

So let’s talk about grief. Um, obviously you guys now know that I just recently lost my my dad. My daddy. Um, and him and my mom were married 47 years. They were going to be having their 48th wedding anniversary this summer, and I am I am so thankful for them. When we had a a short little time with my mom just a few hours after he passed, I think it was like four hours after and they finally came and took him and and we FaceTimed Nana, we FaceTimed mom and um, we speaker phoned a kid in, and then another kid came with his family and, and we had the grandkids there, and we all sat around the table and we put Nana up on our TV screen on the monitor. And she shared and we shared and, and, um, the kid on the speakerphone really, I mean, really blessed all of us with sharing because she, she was the oldest and she was able she she knew she remembers more than everybody else, obviously. Um, and so, um, although, you know, when my dad got ill 18 years ago, just a side note, he’s been suffering for 18 years. And we there have been many times where we thought we were going to lose him. And so our hearts have kind of been preparing for this for almost two decades, actually. And so when you have engaged that idea of losing someone multiple times over the course of two decades, almost 20 years, it’s like 18 years, then the grieving process.

That’s why I say it doesn’t end. Do you know what I mean? Um, and there will be times in my future where I know that I will think about him and miss him and wish he was around, just like I do with the the babies and, um, wonder. You just wonder things, right? Um, but when we were FaceTiming with my mom and sharing different things, um, with her and she was sharing with us. Um, I noticed that there was there was a five year old that kept coming over, and he’s he’s so sensitive. He just is very high relationally. And he just wanted to keep bringing me tissues. And then he would he would kind of get welled up and he would cry. Whereas like the two year old’s just, you know, kind of oblivious and unaware. And so were the grandkids, you know, because they’re so little. Um, and some of the other kids, they just everybody grieves completely differently. And I in that moment though, I just saw that sensitive spirit in him and was super blessed by it. And so, you know, as we’re talking today, yes, we have parented kids through grief. We’re doing that currently and what that looks like. Um, and for them, it’s not going to hit them in the same kind of way that it hits a parent.

But they also are grieving for how mom is grieving and how dad is grieving. Right? Like they see that and they hurt for us that we hurt. And, um, I think that that’s part of the training process, the equipping process with your kids, when you let them into that, it actually equips them to be better prepared later in life. Because the truth is, is that it’s inevitable that you are going to deal with death at some point in your life, and it’s inevitable that your kids are going to deal with death at some point in their life. And so to avoid it and to shelter them from the realities is really missing a huge opportunity to teach them what the Bible says about it and to teach them the gospel, to truly teach them the gospel. I mean, for our family, the yes, there is a mourning that happens and a missing, but there’s more rejoicing that Papa is not suffering anymore, that he’s with Jesus in heaven, and that we’re going to see him together, that it’s not goodbye forever. It’s. See you later, dad. Um. And that was my last words to him. See you later, daddy. He goes. See you later, alligator. I’m just going to beat you, you know? And it’s just like that. That kind of perspective changes everything.

But you can’t have that kind of confidence unless you have confidence in Christ. And your kids need to see that, and they need to know that. So I just want to share let’s let’s start out with talking about how everybody grieves differently, because that’s kind of what we’re talking about. Um, second Corinthians chapter one verses three and four says blessed. Be God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God. And then verse five says, for as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. You guys, this brings a different perspective to the grieving process for the person who’s going through it. I read this and I go, okay, so I’m going to just sit and be still and abide in God’s comfort. That’s mourning. That’s grieving. But I’m not going to just stop there. It doesn’t end there. God’s redemptive work gets to work through his vessels that he puts here, that when we experience that, we then in turn have compassion and get to share in blessing other people when they experience the same affliction. And any affliction is what this scripture says.

So really, when we’re walking through something that’s hard, our perspective should be okay. Lord, thank you that you are walking with me. I know I’m not alone and experience him and the fullness of his comfort, but also God. I know you’re going to grow me. I anticipate the growth. I am thankful for what you are going to do in me that is going to equip me for the next thing that I walk through, that’s going to equip me to be able to help other people. This is part of what ministry is, and that’s what we’re here for. That changes everything when we go from this self-centered, self-focused perspective of what I lost, and just focusing on that versus experiencing God and giving that person back to God and experiencing him take our burden and take our grief and turn it into joy and change our perspective and teach us and love us and comfort us and help us in those times when we need him. And that is really the Christian life. Yeah, like that’s the essence, because we’re all going to experience loss and hardships and trials and mourning and grieving of all kinds of things. And it’s that you guys is really discipleship. If we do that in front of our children, if we are trying to grieve in a biblical way, their lives are eternally, forever changed. So I was.

Reading in Hebrews this morning at our morning study. Uh, I don’t call it a study. I call it family getting together, morning meeting. And, um, it was talking about being useful. And then Angie goes. She goes, I have something I want to share. And then she gave it was like a sermon she gave. This was like five minutes. Wonderful five minute sermon and exhortation. Maybe it is. And with just vibrance and energy and joy and confidence in who God is to the children. And I so appreciated that. And it’s so good that the children hear from mom. Um, and I think that moms have so much influence. And so your voice is so important. I witnessed it this morning. I just witnessed it. I’ve witnessed it so many times. But again, in her grieving, she is serving. And I think when we serve others, when we are thinking about not just ourselves but others, it helps that process anyways. But it was all about the grieving process.

Hey there, we just wanted to invite you to join us in the next Parenting Mentor program, where we talk more about the heart of parenting in session two. So take a listen to this next little clip and we hope you join us.

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We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children. We have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

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One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year. And I could not recommend it more.

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Oh, and I’m so glad that you said that. That makes me think of something else. I didn’t plan on sharing today, but I have a friend who’s going through grieving something and working something out in her own life, and we were messaging each other and her thing happened before mine. And so she was sharing with me, and I had been praying for her. And then in the middle of that, then dad passed and I messaged her and said, hey, I am not Mia. I’m going to listen to the rest of your messages, but I just want you to know my dad died and he’s with Jesus. I’m so thankful, but I’m going to have to take some time with my family and that’s why I’m Mia. It’s not that I’m not praying for you. And I listened to the rest of the messages, and I kept praying for her, even though I didn’t have the time to, like, get back to her right away. And then I got back to her this morning, and I the thing that I have learned over the years is when you’re going through something hard to step outside yourself and to be able to pray for somebody else is life giving. Because it’s part of the purpose for what we were created to do is to intercede for other people, not just for ourselves. So if we get so self-consumed and the only thing that we are ever praying about is just us, then we like, it’s hard to find that purpose for living again.

And and I say that not that I didn’t have a purpose for living when dad died. That’s not it at all. I have many purposes. I see all my nine children and it’s like, hello, I got lots to do. Plenty of purpose, plenty of purpose, no lacking in that. But. But on this topic of purpose for living, which is what we were talking about this morning with the children, I, I just it hit me that sometimes as parents, we learn things, we go through things and we don’t necessarily always verbalize it to our children, and then they might miss the lesson or not get it ever. Actually, because here I am at 44 years old and I’m learning some new things about grief. And I shared that with them and I said, hey, listen, if you can know this and what I am learning now, and you’re 15 and you’re 13 and you’re 17, you’re going to be way ahead in life. You’re more prepared to be a better person in every relationship that you have. So listen. And that like if I, if there was something that I, if I could shout from the mountaintops, please listen to this podcast. Please share this podcast with other people. It’s not about our platform. It’s not about Isaac Nanji. This is about God’s message regarding grief and that he gives us purpose. He gives us life. When death happens, our lives don’t end there. Life here on earth may have ended, and if they believed in Jesus Christ, their life didn’t even end.

And regardless, because we have life in Jesus Christ, our purpose for why we are here, God still has us here today is a gift and we need to live it for him. We lay down our life and we take up his cross. That’s what Christianity is. So sometimes it looks peculiar. It looks strange to a culture that doesn’t understand why you would keep having babies after you almost died. Mhm. I get that and it was hard for our kids and I did my best to parent them through that grief. Isaac did his best to parent them through the grief. But here’s the deal. You can’t make someone grow up in Jesus. You can’t make someone. You can’t change someone’s heart. You can’t. Help an eight year old to be as mature as you are in your 30s. Like that’s just we need to have realistic expectations of our kids, and we need to have realistic expectations of one another because there are 50 year olds that are baby Christians. And so this is where the word love is patient. Love is kind. Love is long suffering in first Corinthians 13. Long suffering. Like if there is something that we as mature Christians need to grow in all over this world, I would say it is long suffering because too many people expect everybody else to be like them, and they overlook it because you’re experiencing growth.

Or maybe you’re experiencing comfort does not mean that your child is experiencing comfort, or that your mom is experiencing comfort, or that your brother or your employer or your pastor is experiencing comfort. So instead of just assuming that they have experienced God in the way you have, why don’t you just listen long and ask them? And have long suffering. And I think that so for because everyone grieves so differently. Yes. It’s an opportunity to grow like we talked about. Yes. It’s an opportunity for us to be able to comfort other people because we’ve experienced comfort from God. But for the friend, because you will be a friend of someone grieving at some point in your life, for sure, death happens for the friend is an opportunity to grow in long suffering, to grow in compassion, to grow in gentleness and kindness and empathy. To have different perspectives, to put yourself in other people’s shoes, to think how would they want to be loved? What would really be meaningful to them. How can I help? How can I serve? How do they need a hug? Do they need some words of affirmation? And in doing that you are blessing them, but you are doing what God commanded you to do when he said to mourn with those who mourn. Mhm. And it’s part of being a biblical Christian, being a biblical friend. We can’t just always only want roses and happiness. That’s not reality. That’s not the life on this fallen planet.

And so instead of avoiding and running away from grief, we should be running towards it. And it’s interesting. Psalm 34 verse 18 says, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saved, saves the crushed in spirit. He’s near to you. This is like if you want to experience God being near to you, go sit next to a broken hearted person and you will experience his presence in a new way. And he will use you even if you feel like. There’s no way, because that’s what God does. He uses broken vessels to bless other people. I know this because I had a neighbor bring me flowers yesterday, and she had no idea my dad had died. She was actually bringing flowers as a thank you, because I had kind of helped her get through some health things and just made some recommendations and it worked. Praise God. And so she just wanted to say thank you. And I just said, you’re a little angel today. I needed this and you didn’t even know it. And like you guys, we need to bless one another and draw near to the brokenhearted. Those who mourn will be blessed is what we see in Matthew chapter five. It says, blessed are those who mourn. Mhm. And I think that there is this I think a lot of people avoid mourning. Mhm. They avoid pain. They avoid, they don’t want to be near pain. Right. And that’s, that’s something we got to get over I.

Think, I think that what happens is people don’t know what to say. And I think that that’s okay to not know what to say. You don’t always have to say but words aren’t the only thing. Sometimes just a presence, a hug, a prayer. Mhm. Um, you know, we were down working at a, at the restaurant yesterday, meaning we were sitting at a table working on um some speeches and things like that because.

Yeah, you guys could be praying for me.

Because there’s things in the calendar that don’t stop. Right? Life doesn’t end when we’re taking off tomorrow to homeschool conference in Texas and, and, um, and these things. So anyways, uh, but two different gentlemen came and prayed over us.

In the restaurant.

In the restaurant, at different times.

We just stood in the middle of the restaurant, four of us, and I imagine the witness that it was to the other people that were there in the restaurant, even.

And that was so, so cool. It was it was just.

And then one of those couples also bought us a dessert, which was super sweet, but.

You’re no sugar, so I just want to verify this.

I didn’t, I did not, I had integrity, I blessed my children who were blessing me by letting me, but it.

Was the thought that was.

Amazing. It was amazing. So, um, you know, a very common psalm is Psalm 23 when people are going through grieving. And so if you are in a season of grieving or mourning, I would encourage you to read all of Psalm 23. But verse four says, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and staff, they comfort me. And I. I think that sometimes we’re in the valley of the shadow of death. Not in the shadow of death. Right? Right in the valley. And we’re waiting there for a long time. I know that with dad there were many seasons of valleys of waiting. And you don’t know if death is right around the corner or not. And it that place for a long time is hard. And so I, I look at that and I think to myself, I just want to honor. My mom for a moment. Kelsey said this the other night, which I would have if she didn’t, but it was so beautiful. She said, Nana, you’re such a good example. Absolutely of being a faithful wife and loving and serving faithfully all these. Years, long, hard years. And she was his main caregiver. And through the end, we only had hospice for a little while. And and my brother has been amazing and my sister has been amazing. They’ve been there near proximity wise and and and they’re physically helping. Um, and I just want to honor them because we’re a state away and, um. And it’s it’s interesting watching my mom because she’s so strong in her faith, and she knew that this was one of the crosses that she was to bear along with my dad because and she said it in the video. She said, when you make a vow in sickness or in health, till death do us part, it is forever on earth, till death do you part. And I love that she sets that example for my kids.

So powerful. It was so powerful, so powerful. Not only saying it then, but living it. Yes. And you can say anything but living it and then saying it. And she would. Congruency was.

Great. I know that she would say. And my dad if he were here. Oh, but we’re not perfect. And it’s true. There were there were hard, hard things, hard hard times. And I think my brother and sister probably even saw more of that than I did. But I, I think that this is the thing. If we expect other humans to be Jesus, they’re going to fall short all the time. The whole point of Christianity is that we are righteous because of Jesus. His righteousness covers us. That’s how we are even able to enter into the pearly gates of what.

Do you mean though? Where does that happen? Where people you think that people start expecting people to be Jesus? What dynamics does that happen?

Well, I just even think in families it can happen sometimes when you claim to be Christian and you expect. That people would respond as a Christian when they get squeezed, when they go through something hard. We talk about all the time, right? Like if you’re a lemon, you hope that lemonade comes out right, like if you’re an orange. So if you’re a Christian, you get squeezed. Christianity should come out. And that’s not necessarily always the case all the time. And this is this is why we all need Jesus, though. That’s the point. And that’s what my mom and my dad would say. This is why you need Jesus. Because sometimes when things get hard, sometimes in your flesh, you do fall, you do yell, sometimes in your flesh you you can’t handle it anymore. And so you break down. But when you’re a Christian, when you break down, you give it to God. Yeah. Sometimes you say I’m sorry.

And sometimes you don’t actually know what’s going on with someone you love in their heart. Totally. And sometimes you try and there’s no way to discover it. It’s. But, you know, you just don’t even know, right.

And so I but I think that in, in all of this we look at the, the, the gospel has been preached out in their life because in the end, who was dad praising? He was praising Jesus. He was listening to sermons and listening to worship music and praying and calling his kids and trying to have joy, even though he was in so much physical pain. And I remember when I walked in, I was able to go and visit him a few months ago, and I, we thought that it was going to his his death would be sooner. And and I walked in. And he removed his CPAp machine and he looked at me with his really big eyes and this huge smile and he said, Angie, baby, hi, I’m going to go meet Jesus in the sky. And he just had so much joy. I want to go out like that. Hey, man, I don’t want to suffer like he did. Actually, I’ve prayed for Jesus to send a chariot like Elijah, but I don’t think that’ll happen. But. But, you know, I think. For us. To share those stories. To share those testimonies of God’s saints. And he was a saint because he put his life in Jesus’s hands, because he recognized he was a sinner, saved by grace, because he was human. And he depended on God and he wasn’t perfect. He he had struggles. But I was thinking about him this morning while I was working out, and I was talking to Kelly, my neighbor, and we’re worshiping while we’re working out.

And I go, you know what? My dad and my mom loved worship music. They we had it playing all the time. They were worship leaders. That was how they met, working in the church, leading worship my entire childhood. I remember my dad playing bass, playing guitar, singing songs, composing songs for the Lord. And he loved to worship, and I and I started, you know, right now in the homestead. We’ve got a lot of work around here. We’re getting ready for cows to get delivered, and there’s a lot of work that needs to be done. And I was thinking about my dad and I said, you know what? I remember him bopping around our property with his Walkman on, jamming to Christian music and singing and, and he had his weed whacker out, and he was really good at taking care of the property back when I was. I just remember, like, I and I hadn’t thought about that experience. I mean, it must been 30 years ago. Yeah, I was 15 and I remember coming home and being embarrassed. Oh my goodness. My dad, he’s you know, I have a friend with me and he’s like jamming and dancing. Oh, man. My dad, you know, he had the workout outfit, right. You know, but I just I look at that and it brings so much joy to me that I remember that.

Because now what do I do? I have worship music playing and I’m bopping and I’m working hard on our farm, and I’m literally doing what I watched my dad do. And that’s a legacy, guys. That’s a legacy. And your kids need to know that, that that’s a legacy so that they can see the importance of that and see it trickle down, because that is God’s faithfulness through the generations in your life. And earlier, I mentioned my mom and dad had been married for 47 years, and I and I started thinking back, and one of the really wonderful things I got to do with him was go through photos and write down who these people were that are six, seven generations before me and and and two generations before me, three generations, five generations that have passed. Okay. And he’s telling me who they are and and we’re talking and. Oh, they were a Christian. Oh, they were this. They were all that. And he’s telling me the stories and I’m writing them down. And do you know, there was no divorce on either side of the family, as far as we can tell, as far back as we can tell. I know that that is a legacy. That’s amazing. Of faithfulness. Yeah. And that was all based upon Christianity. Yes. And I look at that and I go powerful.

Incredibly powerful.

Incredibly powerful in a day and age where, what, 70%, even in the Christian church fall to that end up in divorce, like to be able to say, 6 to 7 generations back? We can’t find divorce.

You know, it’s incredible. Um, just something I wanted to mention about your dad is in your. What you’re talking about when you said, I’m going to see Jesus in the sky with such joy, that is a lack of fear. There was no fear. No.

He wanted to go. So he was.

Excited about the end. He was excited about being with Jesus. And that’s how we are to live our lives. And if there’s any fear of death in you, maybe you need to bolster some trust in God and excitement about heaven. Um, and read the gospel. We’re supposed to live with a heavenly perspective, and Paul talks about it in the New Testament, which is the sting of death. There is no sting in death, right? It’s gone. And and if the sting of death is gone and the believer’s life, then what are we willing to try for the Lord? What are we willing to do for the Lord? How much more obedient are we willing to be for the Lord if we’re not afraid of death? And I think that is so, so powerful. Um, right here in Psalm. Uh, let’s see.

Here.

7373. Thank you. Uh, 26 it says, my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

You know, I think that this is a truth we mentioned about death. I think that it’s important that we make some real distinctions regarding death, biblically speaking, because, um. Though this might be an encouraging podcast for those who have struggled with grief to give some perspective and to look at the good things, and to look at the ways God has answered prayer and shown himself. And that is an important aspect. Without talking about death and life eternal, we would be missing a huge opportunity. And so, um, you know, it’s important that we see that my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever, not just here on earth forever. Psalm 5522 says, cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved. And I think that here’s the thing. God sustained my dad and he he struck like he had man. The health issues that he walked through were incredibly hard, and he sustained him, and he didn’t allow him to suffer beyond what he did. And there was some big decisions that we were going to have to make soon that he did not want. And, um, and I’m just so thankful that God took him before he had to undergo those things. But you guys, God is good all the time. He’s always good.

And in Psalm one 1950, we, we see, um, another encouragement which says, this is my comfort in my affliction, that your promises gives me life. My dad was totally focused on the promises of God. He knew there was no shadow of a doubt. He knew where he was going and that’s why he didn’t have fear. Yeah. And so the promise of life is something that we need to keep our perspective on. Um, and I think that when we get caught up in other situations, it’s hard to, um. Psalm one 1615 says, precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. Hmm. That’s actually one of the most encouraging verses in my mind regarding when someone who loves Jesus precious in the sight of the Lord, is the death of his saints. And we are all called saints, all of us who believe in him. Mhm. Um, you know, another scripture is 147 three says he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. My dad doesn’t have any wounds anymore. Yeah. He bound them up. They are finished. It’s done. You know. And then when we go into the New Testament, we get encouraged with scriptures like John 1125 and 26. It says, Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live. And everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.

Do you believe this? Yeah. There’s the gospel. Do you believe this? Because if you believe this, that he’s never going to die, you’re going to grieve differently, which is what First Thessalonians encourages us in, which was the scripture that I shared on Instagram. It says, but we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do, who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of a trumpet of God. This is glorious. Yea, this is a band, this is glory worship. Right? And then it says, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Which this is the verse that my dad. Yeah, I’m going to go meet Jesus in the sky.

He is obviously studying that. Yeah. You know, how much better do you think heaven is than earth? How much better? I think that’s a good question to ask. Is it twice as good? Is it three times as good? Is it 100 times better? Is it a thousand times better? 10,000 times better? Okay, I actually don’t know the answer. I just know it’s infinitely better. Infinitely better, unbelievably better. And I trust that in addition to that, a question for you, since this is a parenting podcast, is how much better do your children believe it is? Because a lot of the storybooks, a lot of the cartoons and things like that have angels sitting on clouds and it doesn’t look very fun. And I think it’s really important to have a heavenly perspective and equip and raise our children to have a perspective. I’ve asked my children that same question, how much better do you think it is? And then I go off on how amazing, incredibly, infinitely better heaven’s going to be, and we’re going to be useful and we’re going to get to do things. And it’s not just sitting around doing nothing. No, it is incredible. It is absolutely incredible. And we’re with God.

Here’s a here’s a verse about heaven in revelations 21 verse four. It says he will wipe away every tear from their eyes. And death shall be no more. Neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore. For the former things have passed away. This is this is something that we can bank on. Yeah. God’s word tells us what we parts of what we can expect. Of course, there’s so much that we don’t know because no one has been able to go there and come back and talk about it other than Jesus. Right. And that’s why we have this encouragement in the word. But I just want to. That’s exciting. It’s an adventure with Christ. Our perspective needs to be an encouragement. The last verse in first Thessalonians, which was 18, that I was going to read to you, it says, therefore encourage one another with these words. Yeah, we’re supposed to talk about it. We’re supposed to encourage each other when we’re grieving, and there should be a teaching on a regular basis where it’s, yes, encourage one another with these words that are in the Word of God, about death, about reality, about hardships, about trials, about suffering. Having a biblical perspective literally changes everything. It changes our response. It changes how we live. It changes everything. And if we if we flip to Romans, flip with me to Romans 14, verse eight, I just have two more little verses that I’ve been really mulling over that I wanted to share with you guys. Verse seven, chapter 14, verse seven. For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself.

For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. This was, um, earlier. Isaac was sharing about what I shared with the kids this morning about working out and being on purpose, and that life does not end and that we grieve while we are living life. And and yes, it’s good to take time. I’ve been taking time to sit and to journal and to pray and to cry out to God and and sit in the car alone and cry and worship and just sing worship. And I sound like a bumbling B because I’m bawling while I’m worshiping because it reminds me of my dad. Um. And. But you guys, we are gods. I didn’t live for my dad. I love my dad, but I live for Jesus. I don’t live for my husband. I live for Jesus. And my love for Jesus prompts me and encourages me and exhorts me and instructs me to live in a certain way with my husband, to live in a certain way, with my dad, to grieve in a certain way for my dad. But it’s because of Jesus in me and his words, speaking truth and directing me that changes how I live. So if I’m living for him, then I don’t stop living on this earth. When I wake up and I have another day, even though someone I loved preciously is not living on earth anymore, I don’t stop living. No, I get up and I still take care of my holy temple.

And it was that little tiny exercise this morning that taught me for the first time how powerful it is to get up and go do something. Mhm. You can still do it thinking about them, loving them. It’s not unloving to get up and do life. In fact, I told the kids it is the most honoring thing that I could do for my dad to come on here and do a podcast and work today. It is the most honoring thing I could do to come home and take care of my nine kids, and to do the work that I’m doing on the homestead, and to work with my hands and try to live a quiet life. I know this because I sat at my dad’s feet. I sat next to him. I held his hand. We prayed. He looked at me in the eyes when I said, dad, I just feel bad that I’m not here. And he said, Angie, God called you to Idaho and you obeyed him. You followed your husband. And I’m. I’m proud of you. You are leaving a legacy. Keep on keeping on. I will never let go of those words. I know that what I’m doing here, when I’m doing things, when I’m grieving biblically and teaching what I’m learning to my kids that I’m bringing honor to my daddy. Yes, because this was his dream to. That the kids would grow up to know him. Yes, to know God and to know that their papa loved God. So while there have been imperfections, even in our relationship, there has been reconciliation. There has been forgiveness, because that’s what you do when you love Jesus.

And when you do it because you love Jesus, you experience freedom, not bondage and sin, and it changes your life. It helps you to have joy when you don’t. When, when to the world, joy looks weird. Like it could look so weird to people. We might put this podcast out in a week and people would be like, wow, she’s already talking about grief. It literally just happened. Praise Jesus, it’s not Angie, it’s God. It’s the power of the Holy Spirit. It’s me just sharing as I’m in the midst of it. Because I know that this talk of empathy and talking about grief in such a good, wholesome, biblical, honoring way doesn’t happen enough. And yeah, it kind of redeems it a little bit. We get to partner with God in redeeming the bad things in this life when we bring glory to him. That’s what it’s about. So when you walk through something hard, you point to Jesus. And you go, God is good all the time. When something, when you’re grieving, keep your eyes on Jesus, not on yourself. If you focus on yourself and you wallow, what did I say? At breakfast? You eat chocolates and you just watch movies and you ball your eyes out forever and you just get depressed and you don’t leave your house, and then your house smells disgusting and you have takeout everywhere. That’s what we see in movies, you guys. That’s what you see in these, like, love chick flicks. The boys call them chick flicks, right? When there’s a breakup and they’re.

Oh, woe is me.

I’m so focused on myself. I’m sorry. Nope. We’re not going to do that. We’re going to live for Jesus. We need to be walking as Christians who are living our lives for him, because our lives are not our own. What the Bible actually says. The last thing I just want to share with you guys is in second Corinthians chapter seven, verse ten. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. This is exactly what I just described to you. Would you rather be the person in the room all alone, weeping and depressed and struggling, wallowing in your own thoughts and regrets, or walking in the freedom that you can have in Christ Jesus? When you repent and you turn and you honor him, and you choose to live for him and not for yourself. I’m going to read it one more time. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. I want life for you guys just as much as I want it for myself. So sometimes we just have to do what we don’t feel like. It’s like on those years where I had horrible morning sickness and I didn’t feel like getting up, and there were days where I didn’t really get out of bed very much. And we watched little House on the Prairie over and over and over again. And then there were the days where I forced myself to get up and get a shower and go out and go to my appointment, and I took the kids out, and those days were way better. You guys, we have got to be people of resilience in biblical truth. And so I hope today you are comforted. You are encouraged. God has a purpose for your life if you are alive right now. Your life’s not about you. It’s not about you. This message is not about you. It’s not about me. It’s not even about my dad or about the babies we lost. When we live for Jesus, we live to make him known and to glorify him.

Thanks for joining us.

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