“How To Have A Marriage After God” – With Aaron & Jennifer Smith

icon-play Listen Now
Episode Summary

Join the conversation with our first guest interview on the podcast with best-selling authors Aaron & Jennifer Smith. Their marriage movement has impacted millions of people through radical transparency and Biblical truth. Be ready to be encouraged to use your marriage for the kingdom of God.

We are thrilled to have our first guests on the podcast, our good friends Aaron & Jennifer Smith who have a Godly message for marriages that has impacted millions of people. Their 12th book, and perhaps most important launches today, called MARRIAGE AFTER GOD. We dive into practical insights on how to have a marriage after God that goes beyond just how to have a great marriage, but how to also use the combined gifts in your marriage for kingdom impact!

Listen in to find out their answers to:

  • What is your favorite Date night?
  • How do you bring out the best in your spouse?

Below are key points made during the discussion with the Smiths

The vision behind “Marriage After God”

We decided to say yes to something God put on our hearts to create a gathering to encourage marriages. An event called the marriage after God gathering. Using marriage for His kingdom.

  • We live in a culture that is anti-marriage right now and there are believers wondering where we fit into all of this. Jesus is building His church and we want to put a fire in believers that there’s a ministry for them to do.
  • Your marriage isn’t just for you two, it’s a symbol for the world of the gospel.

What could your marriage do if you turned your hearts towards Him?

Tips to Having a Marriage After God

  • It’s an independent selfishly driven world, your book brings it back to a selfless biblical look at marriage.
  • What if someone says, “My marriage will never look like that”, what do you say to them. Stop the comparison, God has a unique plan for your marriage.
  • We don’t want to covet other peoples spiritual giftings or other peoples ministry. God’s given us specific talents according to their ability. God expects us to us our ability.

Are you being faithful to what you currently have in a Godly way?


The Importance of Strong Biblical Community

  • Walking autonomously doesn’t work, you need to work together as a team. We can’t do it without strong community.
  • If fighting, remind each other that “We’re on the same team”. Which means one or both of us has to dial it down because we are being against each other.

So many people crave community but have so little of it.

  • Having relationships where we can share what’s on our hearts and challenges of marriage is crucial. Without community, we wouldn’t be here today. It was other Christians shining a light on their own struggles that started transforming the way we saw ourselves.
  • Walking autonomously isn’t just rebellious, it’s disobedient, we are walking opposite of God’s ways. Our marriage should be an example of the unity of the body of Christ.


How do we cultivate community?

  • Are we being proactive at nurturing relationships with others?
  • Hospitality was crucial, it doesn’t matter how big your place is?
  • Get vulnerable with each other.
  • A majority of the Bible is how to be with other people.
  • Be willing to be the initiator.
  • Ask someone, “If you ever see sin in me, please tell me”


What would you say if a couple hasn’t put God at the center of their marriage?

  • The reality is, God is close.
  • The person that’s distant isn’t God it’s us.
  • We must seek after God.
  • Get honest about any secret sin that you haven’t repented of. That shame keeps us feeling far from God.
  • Repent and chase after God.
  • Go home and open your Bible to lead spiritually.
  • One of the tricks the devil plays is making you believe you can’t understand the Bible.

If we said yes to Christ we are qualified to do the work of the ministry through our marriage.

How do you take inventory of your marriage and use the toolbelt?

  • Each of us has been given gifts to steward well.
  • In the book, it’s called the Toolbelt, the gifts God has given you.
  • One of the tools is your story, everyone has a story.
  • It might be filled with hurt, pain, and suffering.
  • It might be filled with blessing.
  • In the book, you can look at the biggest toolbelt areas.
  • Another tool is your testimony. What God has done in your life.
  • Also resources, how can you use what you have to bless others.
  • You might have a lawnmower and you have a neighbor that doesn’t have one. God I’m going to use my lawnmower to help a neighbor that doesn’t have one.
  • We don’t want to be the servant that got one talent and buried it.

Obedience to God comes in lots of little yes’s over time


Join The Marriage Movement

Marriage is the most powerful team to impact the world

  • This isn’t just a book, it’s an important movement to impact the world.
  • God’s building his kingdom and inviting us to be a part of it.
  • Go to MarriageAfterGod.com to join the movement.
  • Pray and consider inviting other couples going through it with them
  • That’s our heart for it, that it’s exciting for couples to discover how we can use our marriage for God.
  • A key question we should ask. “God, why did you bring us together?”

There’s a need for accountability in marriage, how does that work in your marriage?

  • We’ve practiced how to be transparent with one another.
  • Being willing to communicate all of our heart, even the shameful parts.
  • When you’re feeling weak be transparent.
  • Have teachable hearts so if there are challenges we can move forward and repent.
  • Willing to hear and learn, knowing we need to grow.
  • It’s important to have other couples in your life that are willing to share opportunities for improvement.
  • If you aren’t around other couples enough, you will never see areas to sharpen each other.
  • As a married couple, we are modeling this for our kids. If we want kids to be obedient to us we must model it to each other.

Scriptures Mentioned In This Episode

Proverbs 18:24 ” A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Matthew 7:12 “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 7:7-8Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”


Support The Ministry

  • DONATE, to become a bigger part of shifting the culture of future generations through impacting 1 million families and their legacies. We are in full-time ministry as a family of 10, everything makes a difference.

Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 1 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Create a Godly Legacy
free tips & trainings every wednesday