How To Raise Kids Who Respect Their Parents

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Episode Summary

Do your kids respect you? Do they roll their eyes or refuse to obey you? In this episode, Isaac and Angie cover three practical and Biblical keys to raising kids who will respect you. You should expect your kids to obey and respect you because God expects it of them, but have you taught them what the Bible says on this?

Counter-intuitive wisdom even the most experienced parents are likely to gain from.

sMost parents fall in line with the common expressions: “The terrible two’s”, “Boys will be boys”, “Good luck with the teenage years.” Don’t adopt the bad expectations of other people even if the majority prove them right. Instead, we should expect something better, something Biblical, but it must show in our counter-cultural implementation.

In this episode, you will get three keys to raising kids who will respect you into the teenage years and beyond. It all starts at age one but it’s never too late to make a difference!

Key Takeaways From This Episode

  • We must teach our kids the Scriptures; otherwise, it’s unrealistic to expect them to do what it says.
  • Give respect to gain respect.
  • Starts with respecting your spouse.
  • We must treat our children in the way we would want to be treated.
  • Sometimes, unfortunately, parents can subconsciously treat kids as sub-humans, but Jesus taught the opposite.
  • If we are expecting our kids to respect their Mom, husbands must show respect to his wife.
  • If we are expecting our kids to respect their Dads, wives must show respect to her husband.
  • What is in our hearts comes out of our mouths.
  • Give children increasing responsibility and realize they can usually handle more than we believe they are ready for. Kids rise to the level of responsibility given to them.
  • Don’t be a micromanaging leader to your kids, it may show them that you don’t believe in them.
  • Poor leaders aren’t patient and it takes patience to be a great parent otherwise you’ll just do everything yourself.
  • A key parenting skill is to see a vision for who they are beyond their existing behavior and let them rise to the level of respect you give them.
  • Parents who always wait to give respect until their kids have shown they deserve it will slow down their kid’s maturity in this area.
  • Never embarrass them in front of other people. Take them aside and correct them privately, otherwise, you might evoke an emotional response by shaming them.
  • Be the example by showing them you respect yourself.
  • If a child doesn’t respect himself, they will have a hard time respecting others.
  • Help them know their identity in Christ at a young age by bathing them in the truth of how God sees their value.
  • Pray over them at night with words that implant value in them.
  • Insecure people treat others poorly. Are you creating confident Christian kids or insecure Christian kids?
  • This will impact what kind of friends they attract and who they allow into their lives.
  • We must understand the unique differences in how God wired our kids, especially in how they are different than ourselves.
  • Don’t warp your kids away from how God made them, to fall in line with how God made you.
  • Kids will adjust themselves and show the parts of who they are that get them the most love from you.
  • Love and embrace where your kids are different, otherwise they become points of friction.
  • You don’t want your kids to say to others “My parents don’t know me”.
  • It’s vital to truly listen and lock eye contact.
  • Engage them and chase after their hearts.
  • The hardest question you will ever ask your kids is….(You have to listen to the episode).

Scripture From This Episode

Exodus 20:12:  “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

Matthew 7:12: ” Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 19:14: “But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

Ephesians 5:33: “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

James 3:5-6:  “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.”

James 1:19: “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;”

Biblical Resources Mentioned

One of our Favorite Marriage Podcasts: Marriage After God by our friends Aaron and Jennifer Smith

Final Thoughts

Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 1 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise Confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

If you want to dig deeper with us to create lasting transformation in your family, check out the Courageous Parenting Online Mentor Program.


Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

Reader Interactions


  1. Katy says

    Hi Tolpin Family, I’m enjoying the podcast and learning so much! I’m so grateful for the encouragement and biblical parenting tips. Mom of triplet boys, 3 years old.

  2. Valerie says

    Oh my goodness…excellent episode, one I really needed right now. I have a 2 year old daughter who is a sweetheart 95% of the time but the other 5% she has a very strong will and it has been a struggle at times to find the right way of approaching those behaviors. This was extremely helpful. I love listening every week to you all and having been sharing the podcasts with all I can! God bless you! Praying for your ministry as well as your family♥️

  3. Katie Washburn says

    Wow!! I am LOVING your podcasts! I have listened to each one and this one really resonated with me. When you mentioned how you know that your child respects you by seeing how they respond and respect others, I was literally moved to tears. My firstborn is 10 and has a VERY strong personality. We have worked with her in so many ways and now I am seeing the fruit! It was just so encouraging to hear because I so often feel we are parenting so differently from others (homeschool with little sports…just a simple life) We have a daughter and three boys. Thank you for being faithful in following what the Lord has called you to. I have been praying for you guys as you continue on this journey.

  4. Tammy Lou says

    Thank you for sharing a sound foundation for training our children to live a life with purpose to the Glory of God. Very blessed as I listen to each podcast. 💜

  5. Daan says

    Hi guys. I am new to your podcasts. My wife have been listening to you for a long time and always told me to join her in listening to you guys. I am very busy like everyone else and always made an excuse not to… God has answered her prayers and I am now listening. It has been a week now and God is changing how I love my family through your podcasts. I realise how little I know about parenting and I am learning a lot every episode. I am now even asking my friends to please listen to what you guys are teaching. You are blessing our home. Thank you for sharing what God has taught you. Peace to you and your family. The Brand’s from South Africa.

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