“I’ve Already Made Parenting Mistakes, Now What?”

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Episode Summary

It’s never too late to capture the heart of your children and shift your parenting which leads to greater fruitfulness.

It can feel daunting when children are already a little older and used to how you’ve been parenting, but then you realize there are better ways to do things. It’s not easy to change course but it’s always possible. People in our Parenting Mentor Program do it all the time, but it takes some deliberate new steps and the right kind of communication with your children. Isaac and Angie tackle this important topic so that you too can shift your legacy toward greater fruitfulness.

Main Points From This Episode:

  • It’s never too late to shift the direction of your family
  • It does take outstanding leadership to do it well
  • Your marriage needs to be aligned about the changes you want to make
  • Make sure you don’t try and change everything at once, make a simple plan.
  • Have a meeting with your children expressing in humility where you’ve made mistakes. You may want to meet one on one with the ring leader of the siblings first and have a candid conversation, expressing the importance of their example.
  • Make sure you talk about the why’s even more than the changes that you are making
  • Get accountability about the changes you are going to make leading your family
  • It will be hard and require significant perseverance but your legacy is worth it

Scripture From This Episode:

Psalm 139:23-24 –Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

James 1:5-6 –If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”

James 3:1 – “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.”

Deuteronomy 6:7-8 –You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

1 John 1:8-10 – “1 John 1:8-10”

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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom.

And I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married for 21 years and have seen the fruit from raising our eight kids biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from their faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting and the following. Welcome back to the podcast. So glad to.

Hear.

Yeah, so a lot to talk about today that I think will help you.

We are going to be diving into a question that we get kind of often. I don’t know if you felt this way. I know that Isaac and I have both had times where we’ve been reflective and gone, Oh, that was a big parenting mistake right there. But we get a lot of people who reach out to us and say, Well, what if I’ve already made parenting mistakes? So then what?

So that’s exactly what we’re talking about. It’s so important to be encouraged, but also to get some practical wisdom on what do you do if you know, I already have kids in the middle school years and I’ve really not been biblically parenting or intentionally parenting in the same way that I realize now I want to and maybe you’ve tried some things and it’s not working super well. And so we’re going to dive into that.

You know, it’s interesting because this is a topic that we touch on in the Parenting Mentor program. You guys can find out more about that at be Courageous Ministry dot org. But I think that there’s a lot of parents out there that maybe go well I’m already doing I’m already set in my ways like I’ve already started leaving this potential legacy or we’ve already set a family culture to try and change. It would just be too much work or it might be too hard, actually, you know what I mean? Or maybe sometimes people are like, Oh, I’ve always struggled with this sin, whether it’s yelling or maybe being a perfectionist, and they think it’s part of their personality, and so they just can’t change the thing that’s in them that is actually triggering the thing, the behavior or the issues that they’re seeing in their family that they actually want to change. Right.

Hey, we all have blind spots and in our leadership and if you’re a parent, you’re a leader of children. And so it’s important as spouses, we can encourage each other and point those out in a loving way. But also to even ask really, really close friend if they see any blind spots, too. Because until you open up that channel with somebody, they may not say something. We need to be introspective and look at those things, but we’re going to give practical things because sometimes you are doing things really well right now. Maybe you learn some things and you’re being more intentional with your kids, but it’s backfiring because your children are used to the old you. They’re used to the old ways, they’re used to the old influences and so forth. So we’re definitely going to address all that. But thanks so much for being part of the Be Courageous Ministry movement to impact 10 million Legacies. We’re so happy about that. By the way, if you’re into supporting the ministry and you’re into coffee, go follow be courageous coffee on Instagram and Facebook. We love that. You can see what’s going on there. All the profit from that goes to support the mission and our family, and we’re just looking for different ways in the parallel to be part of the parallel economy, to offer solutions for believers that also support the ministry. So coffee is just one of those of many in the future because as you might not know, we’re not a nonprofit. We’re for profit for social good. And the simple reason for that is we don’t want to be controlled in the future by the government to not be able to share biblical truth on marriage, gender and sex. You know, that’s super, super important. Those are the three hot button topics that we think likely are to be outlawed eventually.

Yeah. So let’s dive in, you guys, on this topic of I’ve already made parenting mistakes. Now what? So that’s kind of what we’ve titled today’s podcast Isaac mentioned maybe you’re experiencing some pushback, right? Push back from the kids, meaning maybe you are implementing something new for the first time and things are just not going super well. Have you ever tried that before where maybe you try being a little bit more consistent and you’re just getting exhausted? Or maybe you make a new boundary in the family or you choose to eliminate something like, I don’t know, Disney Plus, or you eliminate video games or or whatever it is that maybe your kids have grown accustomed to and they’ve become used to them being a part of their family culture, part of their lives, and they’re pushing back on those new rules or regulations, even if it’s not getting rid of something completely. Let’s just say it’s even just having parameters around how much time kids are spending, doing certain things or spending time with certain people, even. There’s all kinds of circumstances that parents find themselves in, in different seasons of their lives where they have to switch things up, where you go, you know, what the trajectory we’re headed on.

I’m not so sure if I like going down this path. Let’s switch some things up. Let’s try something new. And the older that your kids get, I will say the older that kids get, I think the harder it is to make changes and. So that being said, it’s not impossible. It’s and I want to encourage you that when God calls you to do something like we’re talking biblical parenting here, when God calls you to step up as a parent and be intentional, whether that’s starting something new or taking something away. Let’s let’s give an example of maybe discipleship. Maybe you want to start something new and you want to read the Bible to your kids every day and they have a hard time sitting still or even wanting to be a part of it because it’s not been a part of their life on a regular basis. Maybe they have a hard time listening because they feel like maybe there’s hypocrisy, maybe they’re not saved, maybe they’re just, you know what I’m saying? So maybe there’s many different things. Maybe it’s multiple. It is so important that we do not give up as parents when we know God has called us to something, even if it’s hard.

Now, speaking of hard, it may be harder than if you would have raised them up a different way, right? Because they’re used to something you just think about any time, you know, we try to change ourselves when we’re used to a certain way for a really long time. Just think about like for me, I really like creamer in my coffee. You know what? But I remember this time when I won a 90 day challenge, I couldn’t have creamer anymore. That was a that was a tough change, you know, And that’s just a small example of much bigger issues that can happen. So we have to understand that if we’re asking our kids to change something that they’re used to for the first nine years, ten years of their life, that it’s going to take perseverance, time and some grace indulgence as a parent. And it’s going to be hard. I think that as a parent, if you or anybody, if you accept that something is hard at the front, you’re more likely to persevere in the back end. So if you expect change to happen quickly and it doesn’t, then we get frustrated and tend to give up. So I would just say if you’re trying to create some really big changes in your family that go against how you have led your family so far, it’s going to take a long time. You’re going to have to persevere. But there’s a process we’re going to kind of take you through to do it.

So I think that the first step in the process is Isaac and I were talking is really, I would say, the most important part of this whole process. And this literally can lead your children to be more receptive and having change occur in the family, but it needs to be sincere. And that first step is identifying the problem. Whether that’s behavioral issues that you’re sensing is a problem in your family or mistakes that you have made as a parent. But identifying those and recognizing that the behavioral problems that maybe are even in the kids, maybe they’re not your behavioral problems, maybe they are, and they need to be identified if they are. But if they’re behavioral problems and the kids recognizing that that is also actually a symptom of something that we have failed in leadership wise or that we’ve done, we’ve made a mistake in leadership wise. And so it’s really, really important that we take the time to be introspective and to sit down and maybe even like get up piece of paper, like jot down some things, like what are what legacies do you see? Can that have actually what rhythms or habits or culture has been cultivated in your family thus far? Write those down, evaluate them and go do why is this biblical? Is this godly? Is this righteous? Is this what God calls us to? And then going, How am I responsible?

So as you write these things down, there could be other things too, like influences on their lives. And in that area, like if you’re like, Wow, I’ve really realized I’ve let my children spend a lot of time with influences that aren’t the best, and I want to steer them towards influences that are better because we want our kids to have friends and so forth. That could be a really tough thing. And let me ask you the question, though. Was it your circle of influence that led to their circles of influence? Was that the church you chose to go to, the cultivated, the influences that they have? Was it the decisions you made that have caused them in education or otherwise that have caused them to have the influences in their lives that they have? And if the answer is yes, which usually that’s the case, then we have to understand that. And there has to there’s going to have to be some communication with the kids, which we’ll get to in a little bit about that. But I think that you have to really look at your own circle of influence and maybe you need to lead by example on that and go, you know, what do I need to make some shifts in who I allow to influence me in our family and the adult spectrum here and who we’re friends with. And is that causing something challenging for our kids? So we don’t want to be hypocrites. We don’t want to just cut off causing.

Kids.

Causing change on the kids when we’re not willing to make those same changes that are better for us to and better for the whole family.

So I think that you just nailed something that’s super hard for people a lot of times, which is, you know, when you’re holding your kids accountable to something. Making sure that you also are living by that same standard. We talked last week in last week’s podcast. I don’t know if you guys listened. If you did not, I cannot recommend it enough. It was all on subtle ways parents provoke their children. The Bible warns us in two different scriptures, specifically in Ephesians six four and Colossians 321, that parents are not to provoke their children lest they become discouraged or be provoked to wrath. And so if you’re struggling with your kids having anger issues in your home, or if they’re discouraged and they’re whiners, there’s a potential that maybe that is actually a symptom of having been provoked by you at the parent. And so please go listen to that podcast. But I think that what Isaac just gave us was a perfect example of seeing an issue on the surface and then digging a little bit deeper and recognizing where the change needs to begin and making a concerted effort to make changes on your level as a parent. And doing that from a perspective of I am leading by example. Don’t ever underestimate that your your example is going to have massive impact on your kids. And I will say that when it comes to you trying to start new things or make boundaries or hold your kids accountable to something, if you are not held accountable and you struggle with that same thing, it’s going to be really hard for you.

Hey, in Scripture here, Psalm one 3923 and 24, it says, Search me O God and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any grievous, grievous way in me and leave me in the way everlasting. So God told me, convict my heart if there’s anything wrong, any wrong thinking, any wrong philosophies, any waywardness, anything I’m doing, any bad example I’m setting for my kids, it really starts there. You could be frustrated with the behavior of your kids or the disobedience of your kids. But I think that if we start with our own leadership first, that’s going to be important. We’re going to talk about the children in a second, but I just think that’s really important.

Well, and I think to this is why we we put this whole concept of identifying the problem and our own mistakes as parents or identifying attitudes that parents have, I think would be another this would go in the same category. So identify, identify, identify. Right. You’re going to take time to evaluate your heart. You’re going to go to the Lord and say, search me. Oh God, is there anything that is wrong with the way I’m with my attitude, with the way I’m leading, with the standards I’ve had with even even if it’s like a lack of something, right? Like I even think about sometimes we think about the things that we have actually done that have been harmful to family culture or the things that we have done that have left a legacy that we’re not proud of. But there’s another aspect of this that’s just as much as important to the things that we already have done, and it’s the things that we have not done that God commands us to do, and we will be held doubly responsible. The Bible even says in James three one it says, Not many of you should want to be teachers, my brother, unless you receive a stricter judgment.

I truly believe because in Deuteronomy there’s specific scripture that talks about God commanding parents to teach their children to the third and fourth generation God’s commands. We are teachers. If we’re parents, we are going to be held accountable by God for what we teach our kids. And that’s not just the verbally teachable things or the things that we’re reading to our children. It’s also by our example because our kids learn from our example. It’s also the things that we allow to remain in us because we are an example versus repenting of them and changing and confessing them even to our children. And so you can’t get to that posture with your kids and even begin having any kind of communication about change unless you have first taken a really good, hard look inside yourself. Ask the Lord to reveal if there’s anything that you need to confess and repent and turn away from. And when you do that, like that heart posture alone is one where your kids will be so much more receptive.

I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already. Is the date night one sheet? It is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date night. Just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family. No matter what time of year, it’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to college parenting dot com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything at courageous parenting dot com. And I also just want to share real quick about the parenting mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self paced program with live engagement from us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it. You can find out more at courageous parenting dot com.

Steve and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children. What Andy and Isaac have done in creating this is literally phenomenal. This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world. It has given me the vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids biblically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of the heart.

We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children, and we have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is. Do your legacy a favor and your self a favor and just do it. One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year, and I could not recommend it more. We’re no longer fearing dark days ahead, but we’re so excited to raise lights to be leaders for the next generation.

Amen. So now we’re identifying these things. It’s really important as a married couple to get together and really talk about them, because unless there’s alignment in your implementation, it’s going to be difficult to do this next step. We’re about to tell you, and you want to have a simple plan. There may be many things one of you probably has more than than the other, the list maker, and that’s awesome. But you know what? Implementation real change happens through a few things, a few simple disciplines executed on a consistent basis. And so what are those few simple new things that you’re going to do and have a very simple plan about it? I think that’s really important. Sometimes you can pick something that influences a lot of those other things, actually, you know, if we just if children just got to bed on time, just as a simple example, then a lot of the next days behavior problems might be fixed in some ways. Right? And so I’m talking about young kids right there. So I just think that sometimes one thing can fix a lot of things. So look for those those 1 to 2, three max things that are really going to make a big difference and then agree as a married couple to implement together in unison. Now, this next part, you know, a lot of people don’t like this part. You’ve got to address it with the kids.

You’ve got to walk in humility in front of your kids, especially the older they are. It is so important if you’re creating some sweeping changes, you’re altering some fundamental ways you parent because you’ve realized you’ve erred or haven’t been as intentional as you need to to equip confident Christian kids for an uncertain world the way the world is today. And what you’re seeing happening with your kids, with, whether it’s other influences or whatever it is. Well, you need to one on one, whatever you discern is best based on your relationship with your kids and so forth, or in a group, or you meet one on one with the older one and then also meet in a group. After that. You have to think about your strategy on that, but you have to meet with your children and get really honest on the mistakes you’ve made and the new initiatives and why. The why is the part you should talk about the longest. Sometimes people mix that up, they talk about their initiative, the long, and then they don’t really share why the older children are. And all children want to know why. Because they’re humans. You want to know why too. And the more they understand the why and the more it’s backed by biblical truth, the more they’re going to buy in and understand that change is important.

Well, not only that, but as your kids get older, you want them to also take away some nuggets of things that they’re going to implement as parents themselves. Right. And so having regular meetings like this where there’s a humility and parents are willing to actually say, hey, we messed up in this way, and you’re very clear, we should not have done X, Y, and Z, but we’re going to try to do better. We feel like God is really convicting us, that we should no longer do whatever it is, right and when. Share that with your kids. They’re like, Whoa, my parents are listening to God and they’re there, They’re humble, and they’re saying that they messed up. And like, how many people? Now I realize that this is a parenting podcast, and so a lot of you guys are parents, But think about your relationship with your parents for a moment and for you grandparents that are listening, think about your relationship with your parents. How many of you grew up hearing the words, I messed up or I’m sorry, or That’s my bad, or I’m sorry for the miscommunication, things like that, where they actually took ownership and they said what we’ve done is wrong. You know what? It doesn’t matter if you didn’t hear that growing up. You can start a new legacy now. But the truth is, is whether you heard that or not probably has had a massive impact on your relationship with your parents and how much respect you have for them.

And so just remember that it might seem like it’s a really hard thing to do to admit to your kids how you screwed up. But in reality, it’s very easy and it feels so freeing. It’s liberating to just confess when you’ve sinned or to confess the mistakes or the things that you didn’t know that you wish you would have known. Because they’re also learning from that too. And that’s how you break the bondage of bad legacy, actually is by pointing a spotlight of light on it and saying, We are no longer going to let this have power in our family. This was bad for us. We want to do what God’s calling us to instead. And then you talk to the kids about it and you listen to their hearts and you you see it like it’s it can be quite an awesome experience. And I think that one of the reasons why we’ve had so many parents of older kids go through the courageous Parenting Mentor program, too, is because we’ve we’ve encouraged them that, listen, it doesn’t matter if you have gone ten years in your parenting or 14 years in your parenting and you’re realizing like, maybe you just got saved even, right. And your kids don’t know Jesus either, and maybe your family is going to church for the first time and you start listening to this podcast and you’re like, Whoa, I got to change some things, right? And maybe that seems like a very big task.

Maybe you look at the podcast and you go, There’s 213 episodes. How can I possibly implement all of that? No, no, no, just kidding. But in reality, like, can I just share with you a story of grace that God is with you and it’s by the power of His Holy Spirit that that hearts are changed and turn towards him. And when you have a humble posture and you come to your kids in humility, sharing, we did not know or we did know, but we didn’t obey God or I was lazy or I was too selfish or whatever it is that is your why behind you did or didn’t do what you were supposed to. When you share that, it is like kids listen. They recognize how serious it is. And for you to, in a posture of going, I love you and I don’t want you to have the same issue in your life when you’re a parent. And I want what’s best for you because I love you. They hear that. They need to hear. That needs to be part of the why. Right. And so you guys, while like Isaac said, it can be easier when you start young and you have these patterns.

And that’s kind of been part of our mission is why we were doing this, because we really care about the future generations and we want to impact 10 million legacies. But truthfully, I have experienced God’s overarching grace in my life when I’ve made mistakes and I have seen God work miracles in relationships, I have seen him just cover. And here’s an example of covering grace. Not that it was a purposeful mistake, but like those three months, I was on bed rest, for example, and I remember feeling like I was losing the hearts of my children because I could not nurture and take care of them the way that I wanted to. I was stuck in a bed and someone else was doing all of that work. I prayed so hard for God to redeem the time that the locust stole, if you will. And he did. He redeemed that time. And the babies that I felt like I wasn’t serving well, that I was going to potentially lose a bond with. I’m very close to those kids today, and that is just one example of like sometimes life also happens to you and it’s out of your control sometimes. But God can cover all kinds of things mistakes, circumstances, sins. When we have a heart posture of wanting to glorify him.

Amen. So first, identify the problem. Secondly, address it with your children, either one on one or in a group, or mix of that in the right order to ensure buy in and make the older kids feel respected and understood. And maybe there’s an older one that you have to really talk through things first. So they’re more supportive during the group meeting, whatever that situation is. And then third thing is get help. Accountability is really important and as spouses, we can hold each other accountable for sure. But there might be someone else that you could just share with. Hey, we’re making some big changes in our family. It might even be another friend that they might feel some of those changes and it might help them understand having that conversation. But to to have somebody that, hey, how are those changes going? Hey, how are you doing with that is really important because it’s hard to stay the course. The biggest challenge is usually is is not a lack of good biblical parenting principles. It’s a lack of following through over a long period of time, biblical parenting principles.

So it’s really, really important. You know, we do this really powerful parenting mentor program. Thousands of people have gone through it. Parents, it’s transformative. The Lord has really inspired us to do it and full of biblical truth and so forth. And we it those principles work. Whether you’ve been raising your kids from a young age or you just you’re just starting to do it in the teenage years, but you do need to have somewhat of a reset. And that’s what that meeting was for, is to have a little bit of a reset in humility to help your children understand and then get that accountability in that third point there and then follow through you. Whatever you decided to do, you cannot not follow through because the moment you don’t follow through on your simple plan, you’re 2 to 3 things is when you’re going to lose the respect of your middle school or teenage kids. It’s just not going to be good. You could have little kids, too, and you may lose some respect from them in a way, in the way that they may not.

Believe you when you say you’re going to do something. I think that when it comes down to it, it’s keeping your word to yourself like we’ve talked about so many times, and understanding that there’s an element of integrity, of a God character, integrity, as were made in his image that we need to try to pursue. Right. And James or James, chapter one verse five says, If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. And, you know, I just think of how many parents might be listening and going, I am really in the midst of like this. This podcast is really speaking to my heart. I’m in the midst of a whole bunch of chaos. Is that you right now? Are you sitting in the midst of maybe some serious circumstances surrounding the heart condition of one of your children and you just don’t know what to do? And you’re you’re you’re focused so much on your. Your child’s behavior or the symptoms or how their behavior is affecting or infecting the rest of your family, if you will. And you’re focused on that, which by every sense of the word, of course, every parent would do that. But maybe you just don’t know where to go from here. I want to encourage you to just seek God’s wisdom, read his word, seek him in prayer. The Bible also says in the very next verse in verse six that he, if you seek him, you will find him if you don’t doubt. So you have to have faith that God will give you the wisdom.

And sometimes the way God gives the wisdom is through reading the Bible. That’s why we said you need to be in the Word. But sometimes the way that God will impart his wisdom is through the body of Christ here on Earth, as He has imparted his wisdom through his Word to those people in the body of Christ. And so as you’re seeking counsel, like Proverbs exhorts all believers to seek wise counsel. So as Christians, we wouldn’t be going to non-Christians, we wouldn’t be going to non Christian counselors, we would be going to Christians, preferably people who are going to be able to have an objective view and be able to speak truth to you so that if they do see something going on in your life as maybe the causation, they’re going to have the the courage to actually say that to you and exhort you. That’s what you need, actually. And you need people who are going to be biblical. They’re not going to be just opinionated. They’re not going to be justifying the way they’ve done things and make you feel like, Oh, that’s not really that big of an issue. We struggle with that too, but come on, kids outgrow it. No, that’s not biblical advice. That’s someone wanting to brush aside the things that you are feeling convicted about. Because if they have to listen to it and really take it to heart, then it would be convicting for them, too. So when you’re seeking counsel, you need to make sure that you’re choosing wise counsel.

Remember, sometimes people around you don’t actually love that you’re growing, don’t actually love that you’re creating really good changes because it really puts a magnifying glass on their own situation. And so you want mature people that really, despite their situation, they’re going to give biblical counsel. That’s super, super important, I think, to you can’t underestimate the power of getting out of the house one on one with your children as you’re making these changes. And what’s going to happen after you have this meeting is you’re going to have bumps in the road, right, as you implement your changes. And so don’t just reteach the whys in the midst of a challenge with your child. Of course you probably will. But the next day follow up and talk about again why we’re making this change. And do you have any questions about it? Do you understand? And here’s all the reasons and maybe share scripture with them. This is going to take some really hard work. What might you have to say no to so you can say yes to this change? Because a lot of times we feel our time that we’re all busy. If you ask any single person, they’re going to say, Oh, things are so busy right now. So we as humans naturally fill our time and always feel full. So what do you have to empty so that you can actually follow through as a leader and make this change? And that’s husbands and that’s wives, too.

I mean, maybe there’s we have to get more efficient with our work in some way and take a Friday afternoon off and take our son out and do something. You know, we have to make sacrifices to make this work. And there has to be both husband and wife at play here if possible, because you have different influence on your children and it’s really important. So in first Thessalonians 511, it says therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you were doing. That sounds like a really just beautiful, encouraging scripture. And it is. But you know, you can’t be encouraged if people don’t know what you’re trying to do. So remember, like, if you’re going through all this change and you just kind of put a face on that things are good out there in public and even to the people close to you, even the people you’re going to church with and running the race with, then how in the world can they encourage you to stay on the right path with your simple plan? You see how important that is? We have to humble ourselves not only to God and repent of anything to our children, but we have to humble ourselves to maybe to another friend.

You know, it’s interesting because there’s this old book by Roy Cassian, which is called The Calvary Road. It’s a very tiny pocket book that was written a long time ago. I don’t even know if he’s around anymore. I usually don’t recommend books, but this book, The Calvary Road, talks about how important it is that we evaluate our relationship with other people in light that that impacts our. Our relationship with God and vice versa. And it’s all based upon the very first two chapters in the book of first John in the back of the Bible, which is a huge exhortation to us. And I think that as we’re talking about this concept of being honest with other people, it’s worthy of just sharing. Part of it says if we have no sin. So we’re literally saying something. Do you catch that? If we say we have no sin, that means we’re telling someone. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves. And the truth is not in us if we confess our sins. So confessing is using our lips and our mouth, and we’re literally speaking out loud to someone if we confess our sins, he is faithful. And just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us.

This is so bold. This is such a strong word. I would even in the case of really being humble before my kids there. Do not be hesitant to bring the word of God to your meeting with your kids and to share with them what scriptures are potentially convicting and why. Why you feel this need to like, repent or confess that you’ve made a mistake if you have, and just sharing with them and saying, You know what? If you believe in Jesus to kids and you make a mistake and you or you sin and you start teaching the kids and you go, God wants us to confess that to one another so that we can experience forgiveness from Jesus and so he can cleanse us. Our home would be so different if we all did that right. Can you imagine if we actually walked in our families like this? Now imagine if we actually walked in the body of Christ like this, and then you’re able to do what Isaac just read in first Thessalonians chapter five, verse 11, about being able to encourage one another because you’ve shared with other people what you need encouragement in.

Amen. And so it’s never too late to re grab the hearts of your kids and nurture their hearts and steer the culture of your family behavior and activities of your family and what you’re involved in. It’s never too late. You’re the parent, you’re the leaders. You’re the God authorized leaders in that home on that team. And the success of your team is depending on you. But you know what? It’s not all on you. You have the Holy Spirit in you. You have the biblical wisdom and you can do this. And so but it’s going to take perseverance. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s worth it.

That’s right. Thanks for joining us. See you next time. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. For more resources, go to courageous parenting and courageous mom dot com for free online workshops, blog posts and bestselling courses. Also, we wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program. Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week we release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

This is an incredible, self paced program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s a supportive community. You’ll have access to our private online group, live Webcasts and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragement straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentor program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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