“Leading Your Family Through Change”

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Episode Summary

Resiliency is a vital skill for your children’s future, tune in to know how to help your children thrive during change.

Change is an important part of life, but your children will respond to it better if you talk about it early and create accurate expectations. This is true for small things and large things too. With your guidance, you can help your children become good at embracing change in their lives and thriving through it which is important for becoming resilient adults in the future. Resiliency is a vital skill today but even more so in the future.


Main Points From This Episode:

  • Talk to your children early about changes that are coming; whether is curriculum, projects, things we are going to stop doing, or as simple as an event this week. Create accurate expectations for what’s coming!
  • Change is a great opportunity for growth in your children.
  • It’s a time when you can recalibrate their expectations
  • The Tolpins share stories about changes they are leading their family through.

Scriptures From This Episode:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 – “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man. I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him.”

Philippians 4:6-7 – “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Proverbs 16:9 – The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom and I’m.

Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married for 21 years and have seen the fruit from raising our eight kids Biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from their faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in the following. Welcome, everybody. Hey, guys, Good to have you back on the podcast. Today we’re talking about leading your family through change. And of course, there’s all kinds of different change that could be happening in families from small things to medium to big, large changes. And all of it’s important because if we can give our children notice on the change, we can also help shape their expectations, which is important.

I think it really comes down to recognizing that there’s a choice we have to make as parents. We can either be proactive in our parenting or reactive. This is something that Isaac and I have taught on for many, many years. This idea of trying to think forward, be forward thinking even in your parenting or in life, so that you can prepare your kids as much as possible. So, you know, we’re going to talk about lots of different potential challenges. I mean, we’re not there are potential challenges or changes that happen in life, right, Isaac? Everything from good changes to bad changes.

Well, I think as parents, we’re supposed to be positive disruptors. And those are two words that seem opposed to each other, but they’re actually together. I love it because, you know, just keeping the status quo usually doesn’t work. It doesn’t work when changes are needed in the home, when maybe you’re implementing some kind of gardening or this spring or you’re implementing some kind of, you know, new activity or project you’re going to do or curriculum changes, these kinds of things. It’s important that we talk about these things ahead of time because human beings, when they hear about something happening, we start creating our own expectations. And then if you have multiple children, everybody’s creating different multiple different expectations for what’s going to happen, how it’s going to happen, how they’re going to be involved in it, and all of these things. And you don’t want to let that happen. That leads to challenging behavior, that leads to challenging heart attitudes. It leads to chaos. And one of the reasons I think that we sincerely enjoy our family and enjoy time with our children is I think we’re proactive and I think that helps a lot.

Yeah, I think for sure, if you’re struggling with attitude problems, I’ll just call them that or or issues with attitudes among among anyone in your family. It’s kind of hard to be around them when they’re struggling. Right? And so a lot of times parents don’t understand that their leadership literally is the game changer. On if kids are having a good heart attitude or not. Of course, the Holy Spirit is definitely the thing that changes hearts. But if you’re not leading at all and you’re just changing life directions on a regular basis, but you’re not having respect for your child and communicating with them, that’s going to lead to them potentially resenting you and feeling like they just need to constantly go with the flow wherever mom and dad are being led. And there is an element of that. We don’t want a child centric home. That’s not what we’re talking about. What we’re talking about is as life changes, whether that’s in seasons of going from being in school to being out of school or being out of school and going back to school, whether that’s bringing home a new baby from the hospital, which is a great transition in life, or adopting a child or doing foster care or what if it’s something that’s harder, like a job change, Maybe that’s a chosen job change. Maybe it’s a shock.

Maybe it came unexpected. Whatever the case is, we as parents have a responsibility, actually, to lead our children through those changes and to model for them what it looks like to walk it out biblically. Now, if we don’t talk to them and we don’t communicate, then they’re not going to get the opportunity to learn and grow by witnessing what we walk through, Right? Amen. So before we dive in, we just want to say thank you. Thank you, you guys, for listening to the podcast faithfully. Isaac and I are very encouraged by that. It’s been over four years now. We’ve been at this and it’s just been really cool to see new people come in and just starting to listen and see how it’s impacting them. But also people who’ve been listening right from Episode one, faithfully loyally. We just appreciate you so much. And it’s an encouragement to when we get to hear from you guys. So thank you for sending emails and giving five star reviews and comments on iTunes. That definitely helps the algorithms to get out there to reach more people. Our goal and heart is not to point people towards us, but towards Jesus Christ and what the word says. And we try to talk about applicable issues, as you know, on a daily basis that will potentially affect your parenting.

So you can find everything at be courageous ministry.org. And one thing I want to say as I reflect on the four years is we’ve done it the same way since the beginning. And what I mean by that is one take meaning we turn the camera on, we turn the mics on and we go for whether it’s 30 minutes, 45 minutes, sometimes an hour. And what you’re getting then is a candid conversation. You’re not getting a highly edited conversation where we edit things out and things like that. Not that that’s bad. I just want. That there is a difference. We’re sharing our hearts. We bring our best every single week. And the ministry is about the podcast, but also so much more as you can find out. Be courageous ministry.org, but let’s dive in. So I think you’re kicking it off with a scripture.

So Philippians four verses six through seven was a verse that first of all just came to my mind right away because when you think about potential changes happening in a family, sometimes people don’t do well with change. There’s two types of people in the world those who are addicted to change or really like change. And so they’re constantly choosing change and maybe they’re a little bit less stable. And then there’s, well, there’s more than two kinds. Then there’s the people that really struggle with change. And I think that that’s probably more common, right? Isaac People who want to avoid change, they like the familiarity of life. They want to be solid, steady. They want things never to change. And then there’s those that we know that are in the middle. They’re kind of, you know, maybe sometimes hard, hard change hard things they don’t like. But they are open to fun adventures. And so today, as we’re talking about this, I started thinking about the person who maybe struggles with change. Maybe that’s you or maybe you’re dealing with some anxiety because the change you’re going through isn’t a fun change or something that you chose. Maybe it’s something that was unpredictable that came upon you because life can be hard sometimes. And so this is for you. It’s Philippians four, verse six. It says, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I can’t encourage you enough to memorize this Scripture. We’ve used this Scripture in a couple podcasts in the past because it’s so relevant to so many aspects of life, but specifically when it when you think about potentially having anxiety or having a hard time with change, this is an exhortation to you to cast your cares on him, to give everything through prayer and supplication and to look for those things that you can be thankful for so that God can protect your mind and heart and give you the peace that surpasses all understanding, knowing that he’s with you.

Amen. So let’s go into talking about expectations for a second. Really, when there’s change happening, even if it’s something just in the schedule this week, there’s an opportunity to shape attitudes, to touch children’s hearts, to help them think about things correctly in a godly way, and to really look at things the right way. So, for example, I’ll just give you an example. Our children wanted to go snowboarding this Friday, and so I just piped up and said, the answer is yes, as long as like, let’s get a lot done. Let’s be diligent with our homework, our jurisdictions, the projects we have around the house and the farm and so forth. And let’s let’s like really nail it in the next four days. And then as long as we do, then enjoy Friday snowboarding, right?

And so the difference between like I was thinking about this earlier when Isaac and I were talking, if children are constantly like going and doing the fun things that they are asking to do on a regular basis, but there’s never like a, hey, let’s get this done. And when we’re done, we can have this reward, right? Like there’s a difference in how the the person feels at the end after they’ve worked hard to earn that thing. There’s like this. They have some thankfulness, more thankfulness and gratitude. And they’re like proud of themselves that they worked hard and they got that thing done that was assigned to them. Right. Versus just maybe potentially even encouraging an entitlement attitude of, Oh, I get to do this. And then when you say no, they’re like, why? You know, and having a bad attitude. And and I think that sometimes it’s okay to just do fun things, to do fun things. But one of our family models has always been and we shared this with you guys a million times, work hard, play hard as a family, right? That we would be a good team at working hard and getting things done so that everyone has a good, open, healthy conscience and can be fully dedicated to enjoying the playtime too, versus constantly thinking, Oh man, while I’m out here playing, I should be getting this and this and this done right, like and they may even be experiencing that. And so we want to train our kids with this good habit of getting things done and then also feeling okay about rewarding themselves and doing something fun.

Another example is the seasons are changing right now, so we’re going from winter to spring and in the summer is going to be here before we know it, some people around the world or country might be getting out of school within a month or so. And so, you know, what does that mean? What do you want your family experience to be like when your children are out of school? If that’s you? We tend to homeschool all year. That doesn’t mean you need to, but we you know, you do need to create expectations, though. What is it going to look like? And if you do that beforehand, then they’re looking forward to something with in alignment the expectations you’ve set. And if they’re not, if they’re looking forward to something without expectations you’ve set, then when you bring those later abruptly, then it can be disappointing. And rather, I would rather our children embrace and look forward to the family expectations rather than look at them with dread. And that’s really up to our leadership in a large part.

And it was interesting because you mentioned attitudes and how we enjoy spending time with our kids and that a lot of it is largely because of proactive parenting. And I think part of proactive parenting is taking the time to sit down and have the conversations, the family meetings and discuss those things so that everybody is on the same page. There’s no confusion, There’s no, um, not meeting their expectations and then being disappointed or, you know, all the things. It’s that becomes a place where we can all communicate and we can get on board. You see everybody nodding their heads, Everybody’s hearing you. And there’s no like it leaves no room for unrealistic expectations or unheard expectations.

So it’s really important that you have some vision. It’s really important to paint pictures of things coming in a way that isn’t only just the fun part, but is the full picture is the fun part, but in the hard work and why that is important and the whys behind it, why this is important, the whole scheme of what the Dolphins are doing and as a family and today, tomorrow and way in the future. And and so and it might have to do with like what’s happening in the world to like, you know, food challenges. If you listen to our last one, I’m just thinking of some of the change we’re going through right now, which is we’re going to do bigger crops this year. We’re going to do more gardening. We’re going to try some new things we haven’t done before. We’re going to get ready potentially to have cows next year and these kinds of things. And so how do you then build expectations so that there’s a rock solid team working together with a like minded vision? They understand the whys behind it, they understand the roles and they’re excited about.

It and they understand the importance of it, too. And I think part of that vision, I know that Isaac and I, of course, have we talked about this in the previous podcast, but we’ve had this conversation with our children. That’s where that gets where our content comes from, is that we’ve actually done these things. So having the conversation with our kids, explaining what’s happening in the world to them so that they understand the depth of importance of them also learning the skills that they get, that these life skills are going to suit them the rest of their lives. These are not this is not a waste of time that we are learning new things. We need to be doing this to be responsible financially. Like for them to understand all of the whys actually brings in. Its a whole new learning level for them, first of all, and secondly, for them to start being able to be a critical thinker as well as they get older and to be able to deduct what is more important when they have multiple things that they want to do to look at what’s happening in the world and make wise decisions that way. And so I think that there’s a lot that kids gain from having these conversations where you’re setting them up for expectations. Um, I think it becomes also a great place where you can collaborate with your kids and you can hear their ideas and different things as well. And when, especially when it comes to the play, hard times, right? Like how many times have we had conversations where we’re like, These are the things that we’re going to do this summer and we want to do a one week or a two week trip or whatever. Where do you guys want to go? And you involve them in it and they can own it and you guys make a decision together. That’s also a great way to go about it, especially as your kids get older. Yeah.

Whereas if you were to drop, Hey, we’re going to do a trip in a month, in 30 days, and it’s May and you’re going to decide in May that you’re doing a trip in 30 days in June. That’s okay. You can do that. But you know what? They may not be as excited about it. They may have already been talking to friends about what they’re going to do this summer and things like that. And so it really is helpful for them. They’re human beings. They have other friends and so forth, depending on how old they are, that they might have desires and wishes. And so the older your kids get, the more time you should actually tell them ahead of time about things because they have their own jurisdictions, jobs, potentially projects they want to do and these kinds of things. And it’s only fair to let children process early and set expectations early too. So I think that’s really important. So yeah, if you if you don’t think of yourself as a visionary, it’s okay. But vision is required when parenting. You might have heard us say that before and at least a little bit. It’s being thoughtful and thinking ahead and putting those things out there. So what are you what are you what’s your family going to do this summer? What’s your family going to do this spring? What are the attitudes and behaviors you want changed in your family, within your children, within maybe yourselves? How do you want your marriage to grow? Is there a trip you’re going to do as a married couple? And are you planning that and creating expectations for that ahead of time? So it’s not all of a sudden and mom and dad are gone. You know, these kinds of things can be really, really helpful to be thoughtful about, which is good.

We have another verse for you guys. It kind of goes along with the title here. If you’re talking about change, we talk about change. One of the first verses that comes to mind is probably. Ecclesiastes, chapter three, where it talks about a time for everything, right? It says for everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted. Time to kill and a time to heal. A time to break down. And a time to build up. A time to weep. And a time to laugh. A time to mourn. And a time to dance. A time to cast away stones. And a time to gather stones together. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to seek. And a time to lose. A time to keep. And a time to cast away. A time to tear. And a time to sew. Time to keep silence and a time to speak. A time to love. And a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace. And I just. I wanted to read that through there. Because what I see over and over again is change, change, change, change season, season, season, season. And this is a reality of life, just like the the spiritual law of sowing and reaping that no one can escape this is also a spiritual law that there is a there are seasons in our lives in seasons of maturity, seasons of spiritual growth, seasons of where we even might experience some dryness.

Right. And thirst. And we’re hungry for more of the Lord and more of knowledge and more understanding. And these seasons all play a big purpose in our life. And we need to use the the practical day to day times that we walk through in our life to teach our children the the spiritual parallel of times that are happening in our spiritual walks as well, so that they don’t feel like something’s wrong when they’re going through one of those seasons in their spiritual walk. And I just think it’s so beautiful that there are seasons, right? A time to sow and a time to reap, a time to plant and a time to harvest. Like when when you’re harvesting, things start dying off, you know, And to use all of those different seasons that you walk through in your life, whether it’s flourishing financially and then potentially struggling financially, don’t hide it from your kids because then they might have an unrealistic expectation of what their life is going to be. And if they struggle financially, they may feel like a failure. You don’t want your kids to feel like a failure when what they’re actually experiencing is life is reality. So let’s let’s be open, open eyed to the seasons that God has us walking through and let’s embrace them and use those as examples to teach our kids, both in the practical sense and the spiritual sense.

I know when we had our big financial disaster, we had meetings with the children about how things would be different. And, you know, it was such a sweet opportunity. And I think it was sweet because we were clinging to the Lord and trusting the Lord implicitly with our situation. They saw that, they trusted that, and they we just grew so much stronger as a family, which is super awesome. Due to Deuteronomy 31 six, it says Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. So no matter what the situation is, no matter how challenging it is, God is with you and for your children to see you trusting that, and then God responding and then circling that information back and sharing how God answered the prayers later on is such a faith building experience. It’s incredible. I look at the faith in our children and I just know there was a big impact during our most challenging seasons. Yeah, that really built that faith in them. And I think that’s amazing. You know, we talk about family meetings a lot. I think that family meeting can look different all kinds of different ways. And, you know, we Angie and I just did a trip for a couple of days and we brought Drew with us and that was a family meeting of sorts.

He was in the car with us for a long time, and we had all kinds of wonderful conversations, hearing his heart, talking about things, plans and so forth. And that is a smaller part of our family meeting. Right? Then there’s when the whole family is together. And so you can, you know, meet one on one with your children and talk about things and issues and kind of hear the heart about things. Listen. Well, I think is really important, whether in a group meeting or one on one with your children and to what they care about coming up, what they care about, the changes that are coming and or happening and in those things. And then but as a family getting together to and literally being a little bit prepared that’s a good thing is like already have a marriage meeting already have a marriage discussion about you know what’s coming, how we how we can support each other and then how we can divvy up roles for people. As we’re doing a big project. For example, we’re clearing a part of the property for a crop, and then we’re also trying to make sure grass is getting going. And then we have a van that needs to be the inside needs to be updated and fixed a little bit.

And there’s just lots of projects on top of all the normal things going on. And then, of course. You know, talking to me today about doing a marriage and parenting conference locally, you know, let’s just add that on. So so but, you know, there is enough notice, right? We that’s months away. So we can plan these things. And listening to her heart this morning and that was important to her. And I’m like, well, if it’s important to her, then we’re doing it, you know, because God’s probably talking to her and it’s important to her. And that’s how we need to be, too, is we need to be listening to the marriage relationship and go, what is going to edify the other? What is it going to encourage them and and make them feel like they’re doing what they’re called to do. And, um, you know, so I think there’s a lot of change. I know we experience a lot of change all the time, but a lot of it were creating actually, there’s some of it that’s circumstantial. Things happen. Challenging things happen to us. But I would say more of it is proactive. Okay, this spring, here’s the changes we’re going to make. Okay? So everybody has their.

Improvements we’re going to make on the property.

So everybody has their normal things they do, and we just talk to them all about, okay, in addition to that, there’s going to be new things. And now Angie and I are going to meet what are the new things we’re going to prioritize based on finances and ability and so forth, and then we’re going to divide up tasks.

Yeah. So I think.

I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already. Is the date Night one sheet. It is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date night to just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family. No matter what time of year, it’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to courageous Parenting.com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything at Courageous Parenting.com. And I also just want to share real quick about the Parenting Mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self-paced program with live engagement from us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it and you can find out more at Courageous Parenting.com.

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We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children. We have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in Scripture this is.

Do your legacy a favor and yourself a favor and just do it.

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It’s also important when you’re in the process of dividing up tasks to really know your kids and to know the assets that each person has. Right. Like to know their skill set, to know the things that they’re passionate about, the things that they want to learn. The truth is, is if someone is excited about something because they’ve either conquered it or they want to learn it, it’s going to be a lot more fun for them and it’s easier to get them on board with doing it. And so making the the when you’re thinking beforehand and preparing, right? You were just talking about how sometimes it’s good to come to a meeting prepared ahead of time, thinking through the different things and going, okay, well this kid has this going on so we can assign them this instead of this. We just had to do that today, like putting down the food for the lawn, for example. We know that our son Luke is super passionate about the grass because they spent so much time last year putting in 4000ft², 40,000ft² of grass. Right. And it was a big project that they were in charge of. They laid down sprinkler systems. They want this. They’re invested. They want this to work. They want grass to play spikeball in and to have play volleyball with their friends.

And so knowing like, okay, guys, you want to get the grass looking greener, they’re pumped. He was so excited to go to the local garden center lawn class with Isaac, you know. So then when we were thinking about, okay, well, what what can we assign, we have all these farming projects that we need to do. Putting Luke on the Grass project just was like the first gut instinct that we know he’ll be faithful, he’ll get it done. He won’t cut corners because he wants it all green in the same. And, and so like, that’s what I mean by thinking and assessing your different kids skill sets. And what they’re most passionate about for Drew was like, Hey, buddy, I really need your help with the compost and we’re going to be making these mounds and tilling the back horse doll property and like, he has a skill set where he already knows how to use the tractor, right? And so it’s just important to think through those things. And then when you come to your your team, if you will, you’re honoring them by giving them jobs. Is that one they already are passionate about. They’re going to be much more into doing. But two, they can tell that you’ve been thoughtful about it if you tell them the why.

And, you know, it could be things like a change of curriculum, too. It could be things about this summer that you just wish for your family. I know this if you don’t do any planning and thoughtfulness about change and how to make things better, you just keep kind of getting a little less than the best that you’ve had. It kind of doesn’t just stay as good. It seems to kind of degrade a little bit. So the wind is always blowing towards mediocrity on any team. And so it’s really important to be proactive and go think about how do we want this summer to happen? What do we want the family closeness to look like? Well, what’s going to create family closeness? What are the relationships we want to nurture? Well, how are we going to do that? You can’t do that too many times. You have to prioritize, you know, maybe a few families that you spend extra time with or, you know, what are the things that you really wish when by the time summer is over between now and then, what do you hope has happened in your family? And I think that you have to be thinking about that now. You have to be planting seeds now, creating expectations. There might be work that needs to be done to be able to do those things. So that’s all really important. And Proverbs 16 nine, it says The heart of Man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. So let’s make sure we include God in all the change and all the things and with their kids. And we’re praying together and we’re asking the Lord to give us wisdom and how and when and all these things and deciding, prioritizing all the things right. And what a faith building experience to see the parents involved in that and incorporating the kids.

I just even think about since we’re talking about family meetings, one of the things that we always do in our family meetings, we share some scripture. I think it’s more of a rare time when we don’t share a scripture with the kids, right? Yeah. And I would say that if you’re planning on having a family meeting regarding expectations for this next season that you’re going into or, or even just being proactive and dreaming with the kids, at first, talking to them about the different seasons, sharing scriptures like Ecclesiastes three one through nine like we read or what Isaac just read in Proverbs 16 nine or Deuteronomy 31 six for the kids to understand that God has ordained, that seasons would come and go. God has already set it up, that we need to be seeking His wisdom and his will for our lives, and that he has also promised that he’ll go with us wherever we go. These are good things, especially as you’re like looking at your kids and maybe you have a child that struggles with being flexible. They struggle with change. That child might need to hear Philippians four six through seven. That child might also need to hear the Deuteronomy 31 six so that they’re encouraged that, okay, God knew this change was happening.

He’s asking me to be strong and courageous. I need to be strong and courageous. And so I just say that because it’s one thing to share scripture verses in a podcast that are going to be encouraging as we’re teaching a themed podcast, right? But it’s an entirely different thing for you guys as the listeners to take these four scriptures, for example, along with any others that you could find on seasons in life or sowing and reaping, and you take them to your kids and you read the word to them and then you explain it to them and how that scripture speaks directly to what you’re talking about. Regarding a time of change in your family or a time of change in life. And even going a step further to say this isn’t the last time you’re going to experience change in your life, this is transitions and seasons will happen. This is part of life. This is me as your parent, preparing you to understand that when these things happen in life, we look to God. That’s what we are going to do. Because as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. And so I just want to encourage you guys, as you’re listening to any other podcasts, because we’ve referenced the last one we did last week about food shortages.

There’s scriptures in there too, Like if you’re going to have that conversation with your children about, Oh, you know, things are more expensive in the store. So our financial situation is going to change. Maybe we can’t afford swimming lessons or we can’t afford to vacations this year. We only can do one because we X, Y, z, whatever the situation is. Instead of just literally telling the kids this situation and thinking that they’re going to grow from it, reminding them of the biblical perspective that comes with it, and that we have an opportunity to grow and we can still have fun here at home. What would be fun here at home that we could do? You know, I even think about one year our kids wanted to sleep out on the trampoline. You remember that? And they were like, Oh, I want to go camping on the trampoline. And we didn’t have like a ton of camping equipment at that time. And so for them to just go and take their sleeping bags and sleep outside, you can find ways to do fun things at home without having to go do the big thing. And hey.

Even though you pre-frame and set expectations, talk about the change ahead of time. There’s going to be hard attitudes that come up and you know, there’s going to be some resistance sometimes with your children and those kinds of things. And that’s where you work one on one with them. And, you know, it’s a lot about the growth capacity. It’s the more you guide your children through change, the more resilient they’re becoming. And so that’s where you’re there as the parent to guide them through that. It might be rebuking them. There might be a correction, there might be just encouraging them, but or teaching them wisdom about it or more wise behind it or helping them see how this fits into their life picture in a good way. So really helping them see that is good. And the more you go through challenges or change in situations and you guide your children through it, the more they’re developing a capacity to be able to handle more in life and more in life and more in life. And that’s why being that positive disruption, sometimes creating disruption and we’re going to go do this or we’re going to do this together is very, very important. Sometimes families just need to get away from everything for a while and just be have some alone time together to recalibrate and so forth and become a better team. And so really encourage your kids to grow. And one of the ways to do that is to guide them through change well, and then follow through on the commitments you make. So be careful what you do commit to and be careful what you set out to do. Not so careful where you don’t do it, but careful in your language about it so that you are not a hypocrite. That you’re somebody that follows through on the things you say. And that’s really important too. Yeah.

So, you know, as you’re going through and you’re thinking about what potential changes or what potential life transitions your family is experiencing in the next few months, and this may even come up for you guys in six months. Who knows, right? The point is to be thinking proactively and to be in the sense of I’m going to use this as an opportunity to teach my child. That is where our heart should always be as a parent, recognizing that there’s lessons for us to learn and that there’s lessons for our kids to learn as well, and not protecting them from learning the good lessons in life.

Hey, man, thanks for joining us.

See you next time. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. For more resources, go to courageous parenting and courageous mom.com for free online workshops, blog posts and best selling courses. Also, we wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program. Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week we release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

This is an incredible self-paced program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s a supportive community. You’ll have access to our private online group, Live Webcasts and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragements straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentor program, secure Your spot now at Courageous. Parenting.com. That’s courageous. Parenting.com.


Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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