Life Planning In Uncertain Times – Part 2

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Episode Summary

It’s more important than ever in the midst of greater uncertain times to make proactive decisions today before the future requires them. This is a helpful and powerful two-part series where the Tolpin’s dive into their mindset, including God, and making wise life-planning decisions together. You will want to catch these two episodes!

The world changed in 2020 which makes life-planning more important than ever. So what decisions do you need to be making right now that will have been required to handle four months from now? The Tolpins let you into their mindset as they encourage you to navigate a rapidly changing world. They cover what it looks like to operate in wisdom versus fear, how to be flexible along the way and what to do now with your family as the new year approaches.

In This Episode We Cover:

  1. Make Decisions in wisdom, not fear.
  2. Understand when to be flexible.
  3. What to do now with your family.

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Scripture In This Episode:

Colossians 3:16 – “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”

Philippians 4:8-9 –Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.  The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show with parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom, and I’m Isaac from Resolute Man. We’ve been married for 21 years and have seen the fruit from raising our eight kids biblically.

Based on the raw truth found in the Bible, we can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from their faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Hey, everyone, welcome back. Hey, guys. Well, the part two to a two part series this year and part one was launched on Election Day last week. So obviously part one was done with prior knowledge or not knowledge of what’s going to happen in election. And this one is with knowledge. So that’s kind of interesting. Make sure you catch up on that. And this is an important two part series, because we really need to be proactive in how we make plans and how we make decisions, how we lead our family into the future to maximize our impact for the kingdom of God and provide safety and a thriving family.

That’s right. And I think that this is an important topic for a lot of people because they are in a position now of going, what should I be doing with my family? How should I be reacting when there’s a ton of unknowns right now? Yeah, this election still kind of hanging. Yeah. Even though the left side has already been declaring their victory in many regards, which is unfortunate. But I know that a lot of moms have been reaching out to me, sharing about their anxiety and their worry. And I just want you guys to know that we’re praying for you, first of all. Yeah. Secondly, we are not to be anxious or worry about tomorrow or be anxious for nothing. Right? We’re supposed to be anxious for nothing. And so I hope that today’s podcast is an incredible encouragement to you. That also gives you some things to prayerfully take to the Lord, talk to your spouse about and also lead your children in. So we’re going give you some very practical what to do now with your family ideas topics at the end of this podcast. So stick with us.

And I think it’s really important. Of course, the encouragement is God is sovereign. Isn’t that amazing? He’s completely in control.

He’s the supreme authority and he’s our creator. And he’s not surprised by what’s going on.

And we know things deteriorate towards accelerated in time. So as we get closer. So we’ve been talking about this for six months. So now it’s like we’re starting to see how we are responding. So you should look at your spouse. You should look at yourself and go, how are we responding to these different times that are going to continue to change?

Yeah, and for Christians, what’s interesting is that you oftentimes see two different paths, right? There’s the passive road. Yeah. And then there’s those that actually are trying to be a voice of encouragement and stand for truth and take action.

And let’s not mistake God’s sovereignty for a lack of responsibility on our part. Like what I mean is, is that just because God is sovereign, which is absolutely true, doesn’t mean we don’t have a responsibility to take action, make decisions, proactively do things. You’re getting excited. Yeah, we have to. I just think that there has been somewhat of a movement in some circles that because of the way things are preached and talked about in the Bible, it creates a Christian passivity.

What’s interesting is there’s an almost and I mean, I’m going to say a very intense word. It’s an ignoring of certain scriptures that actually do impress upon the importance of being obedient to God. Yeah, I think that part of God’s and this is my opinion, my opinion in studying all of scripture is that part of God’s sovereignty in our lives is that he has placed the body of Christ active here on the Earth Day during this generation, and that he has people, that he has touched their hearts, he has moved in their lives, and they are loyal, faithful followers of God that want to be obedient, not just in their hearts, but also in their actions, because faith without works is dead and works without faith is dead.

And while sovereignty, sovereignty should give God, sovereignty should give us this lack of anxiety so that we can be proactive and take action and sometimes take risks for God. So superimportant now. Hey, by the way, thank you so much for being part of the one million Legacy’s movement. We are as committed as ever, maybe more.

Actually, I would say that this whole situation for sure has lit something, especially in Isaac, but in me for sure.

And it’s just we are getting so much feedback. Thank you for being bold. Thank you for sharing the truth. Thank you for the biblical wisdom. Thank you for, you know, sharing things that sometimes, you know, make people uncomfortable. And we never tried to make people feel uncomfortable. We never we want unity, but we don’t sacrifice truth for unity. Right. And so that’s really important. Just think about that. Do you sacrifice standing for the truth for the sake of unity or or do you sacrifice truth because you yourself are scared?

Right. And so I think that there is there’s something that we need to take personal responsibility, because I’ll be honest with you, I’m human. Yeah. I struggle with fear sometimes is where I come back to. Can I go? This is happening. And he’ll look at me like an. We respond how and I’m like, OK, yeah, OK, so we need each other to encourage each other on.

And so but we need to be in the word to be able to do that. Now, we talked about that last time, so but anyways, if you’ve given us a five star review on iTunes or written a review, that’s huge because that’s where 80 percent of people listen, at least today, that might change. And, you know, if you’ve shared our social posts, we know you’re part of it. So we thank you for that. And by the way, CourageousParenting.com has tons of resources, and so does CourageousMom.com. And there’s a lot of free resources and there’s resources that are incredible value and will absolutely help you that also support the ministry. And we so thank you for the donations. We will give an update, too, on that situation. So. All right. So last time we talked about the first three points, when we talked about the next three points, now the first three were draw closer to God. But there’s really good stuff in that last episode. You want to get a couple of scriptures. Key things like the second one is vision is more important than ever right now coming from you for your family. So really important. And that’s both husband and wife. Yep. Right. Three, evaluate areas of your life and how to do that in a date night and these kinds of things in a way that’s relevant to right now. OK, now the next three points we’re going to cover.

So let’s start with the first one not fearing, but planning in wisdom. Super, super important. Now, last time we talked about this, I think we should revisit it for a second when we fear that is going to put in us emotion and feeling and the ability to sense danger and the ability to respond because we sense danger. So sometimes it starts as fear, but that quickly needs to turn into faith quickly, turn into trust in God. Yeah, but it should prompt us into prayer and with reading with the Bible and wisdom seeking wisdom. And it should prompt us into trusting God and taking necessary actions.

Yeah, and a lot of times for some people just turns into trusting God, but it doesn’t turn into creating some change.

Well, and it’s not that. It’s just trusting God. That is really a powerful that is the most important thing. All right. Just trusting God. But when you do trust God, there’s fruit that comes from that, you know, I think is what we’re talking about. Right. And so that’s actually the evaluation point. Are you trusting God? So if we were to ask, are you trusting God, we could look at the fruit in your life. You should re-evaluate the fruit in your life and how you’re reacting, how you’re talking, how your prayers are, how your conversations with your spouse are about the things that are going on in today’s world. Yeah. How are you talking to other people? How are you viewing people who speak boldly? How are you viewing people who are just like are are preaching other other messages? And how is that actually impacting how you are reacting?

Yeah, absolutely. By the way, I just want to say it point your pastors need encouragement. You people who are proclaiming truth need encouragement. I know, because we need encouragement and we’re getting it. And we appreciate that from you. But let’s not forget anybody out there that needs encouragement, that’s standing strong for what the word of God says and is not afraid of the pushback of today’s world, make sure you’re encouraging them. Part of encouragement is action. Make sure you’re, you know, supporting them even financially, if that’s what God prompts you to do. And I think that’s really important. Anyways, Colossians 3:16, it starts there. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. What does that look like for the word to dwell in you richly? Wow.

When I think of that. I think of just an abundance of the knowledge of the word of God dwelling in you like you have written on your heart. You have your mind. Yeah. So you can’t recall what you haven’t read. So you need to read a lot.

And if you have a hard time memorizing scripture, just teach your kids to memorize scripture and guess what happens. It happens to you. Yeah, that’s right. Yeah.

That was my biggest. I mean I’ve done a lot of that. Yes.

There’s a practical step for you. Yeah. And then it goes so the word of Christ dwell richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. How do you do that if we’re not going to church?

Right. You’re not singing worship songs. So I mean, what is this, right. Singing Oh yeah.

Singing with grace in your hearts and souls to the Lord. In some places, singing is outlawed.

Would you have ever imagined and six months ago, or I guess longer eight months ago, that worshipping God would be outlawed in some places.

That is I mean, it has been overseas and we’ve talked about how Americans haven’t really experienced the same kind of persecution that other people have experienced overseas. Right. And now some of that is beginning. We’re in the beginning birth pains of that which we shouldn’t be surprised by. But the reality is, are we going to disobey God’s word and not do that? Mm hmm. Right, because that has a permanent impact,a massive impact on people’s spiritual walks with God, kids, us, just so you guys know, we will continue obeying the word of God.

So that’s what we will be doing. Yeah, and we think that’s important. Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord and whatever you do in words or do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the father through him.

So it’s almost impossible to have anxiety when you’re thanking God. White with grace in your heart.

Well, it’s interesting that this is almost like a repetitive verse, not fully, but it goes along with Philippians four, right? That says with all prayers and supplications with Thanksgiving, make your request known to God. And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Oh, so good. That’s verse six and seven Philippians four.

I love that I preached on that a while ago and then right below that, if I can find it quickly enough. Philippians I got it. Philippians four. This is super important. It has to do with this is that when you’re challenged and this right below what you just memorized by leading by example.

Finally brethren whatever things are true. OK, so when you have anxiety you go OK God what’s true. Isn’t it hard to know what’s true today.

Right. Because a lot of people, their anxiety is not necessarily based upon the truth either. Yeah, right. Like, I’m just going to say it as of right now, when we’re shooting this podcast, which is Monday, November 9th, there is not been a president that has been certified, declared or inaugurated into the White House for the next presidential four years. And so a lot of people who might be having anxiety about it are potentially believing the lies that are being spread on social media that is already claiming victory.

You can’t claim victory when it’s contested with evidence in absolute validity to be contested.

And as of right now, I’m pretty sure that none of the states have certified winners.

Now, our viewpoint is, regardless of either side, we have to protect the integrity of the election process, because if that if people don’t believe anymore, because we don’t allow this process to go through, then people in the future will not vote.

Right. Because we’ll be like, well, doesn’t matter.

And we do not want people leaving this experience, frankly, on either side because having multiple sides is so important for democracy. And then and so there has to be checks and that’s part of checks and balances and people with different opinions, viewpoints and so forth. That’s all great. That creates a democracy. But it has we have to keep the integrity of the election process. And right now there’s probably about 71 million people that are having a hard time believing the election process right now, not because their side lost, but because there’s actual accounts of fraud happening that are being validated and further. So we have to go through that. So finally, Brethren, but regardless of the situation, here’s the things to meditate on is finally, brother. And whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, this could be just you in a relationship with someone else. OK, what’s true? Let’s get out of my bias. Let’s get out of my experiences for a second. What’s what’s true. Whatever things are noble, whatever things are, just whatever things are pure or whatever things are lovely, whatever things are good of good report. If there is any virtue and if there’s anything praiseworthy meditated on these things.

So it gives you some things and says anything praiseworthy, let’s meditate on those things. So are you a cynic or are you an optimist?

I believe both of those can go dangerously wrong and a good balance of those is good sometimes. But, you know, we need to meditate on good things that are true because that hundred percent so we need it and we lead by example.

But we also need to verbally teach this truth to our children.

Now, this podcast episode is about life planning and uncertain times. Why is this so important in regards to life planning? Because I think almost all decisions made in fear end up being bad decisions were inferior to best decisions. And so if you’re operating in fear, not biblical wisdom, then your decisions are not going to be great. And by the way, a lot of people make decisions because circumstances happen to them. Now, that happens to all of us because we can’t foresee everything coming to us. Right. But if all of your decisions are made after circumstances happened, you’re not being proactive enough and you’re not making hard choices ahead of time and potentially creating more stress in the future because you’re setting yourself up to have to make more reactionary steps.

Yeah, I’ll just share one for us personally, because of our size of family, this is actually one of the main reasons, but also because Isaac and I have always tried to be more proactive in our parenting and in our vision for our family. Our move. You guys know we have a podcast called Why Are We Strategically Relocated? We move out of state for many reasons. Some of the most, I would say, pressing reasons were the politics, which is why we moved very quickly, we moved within five weeks.

We find we sensed and we prayed about this. We feel like God told us things are going to go away worse. Yep. You need to get out of here and you to get away. And it wasn’t fear based at all with such peace about it. And then he opened we took action before we had clarity on where we’re going to live or. Yeah, that’s going to work out.

We prepped our community, we prepped our family.

And we had a two week trip after telling everybody we’re going to move and we don’t know where we’re going to move up and and we just walked in faith more looking for God to show us where he wanted us. And we have a miraculous story which we’ll share in the future once everything is completely panned out. And I’m you guys, this is the thing is that for some people, they might have been like, wow, that was a quick decision to move. But Isaac and I have been knowing that we were going to be moving out of Oregon since we got married. I actually didn’t want to live there. I got married. And so for twenty one years, we were waiting on God patiently, 21 years of waiting on God to show us when was the right time to move. And for us, we had a little short list of if these things happen, these are the trigger signs, the birth pains for us, that things are going to continue to get even more dangerous politically for our families liking.

And they either happened or we can see them happening. Right.

Right. And so we took action beforehand. And this is why because if we would have waited, we would be trying to move as fast as possible, potentially in the winter or right now. Right. And that would have been more reactionary. We would have ended up paying more for our house. Yeah. Who knows what it’s going to be like in the spring. And so for us, especially as a family of ten, it’s not like you can go and get like a townhouse and fit 10 or 11 people in a townhouse. You have to be wise and move ahead of time when you have a big family.

And frankly, I don’t know where you land on the mask situation. This is an episode isn’t about that. So we’ll talk about that some other time. But for our family, we don’t want our kids growing up always wearing masks.

I think there are some challenges that are going to happen in the future with humans growing up that way. And so I think the costs of that are greater on the kid level than we might be thinking about. So so definitely that is a big deal and so forth. So so not fear, but in wisdom and reality.

Yeah, a lot of times some people who will you know, they just don’t know what to do or they feel like they can’t make a decision. Right. Like there’s some people that might feel stuck, whether it’s because of a job or whatnot. Right. Instead of like trying to step out in faith and do something and look for opportunities to see if it’s even an option to move right. Some people might go well, but it’s not really that big of a deal. And you know what, though? This is the thing, you guys, we have to operate in reality. The reality of what the Bible tells us is going to happen in the future. The reality of what we know is happening today, the reality of how humans are treating humans, which unfortunately, I feel like the morality is on a massive decline all over the world. And it’s I feel like my eyes have been more open to it. I hope your eyes have been more open to it as well. And it’s something that we really need to be praying and fasting for is is people’s hearts, because this is a really a reflection of hearts not fully submitted to God.

Yeah, and we’re just you’re talking about access fresh on our experience, but there’s all kinds of other decisions you have to make smaller decisions on, you know, that need to be made in wisdom, not fear. So if you feel fear coming on, that’s when you pray. You reach out to God and you talk to each other, too. That’s super important.

Ok. I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already is the date night one. It is a beautiful document you can download that Will has some key questions on it for your date night to just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family. No matter what time of year, it’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to CourageousParenting.com And subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything, a CourageousParenting.com. And I also just want to share real quick about the Parenting Mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self-paced program with live engagement from us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it and you can find out more at CourageousParenting.com.

Steve and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children. But Angie and Isaac have done and creating this is literally phenomenal.

This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just a really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world.

It has given me a vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids, basically like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things at the heart.

We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children. We have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

And it’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is.

Do your legacy a favor and yourself and favor and just do it.

One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year, and I could not recommend it more.

We’re no longer fearing dark days ahead, but we’re so excited to raise the lights, to be leaders for the next generation.

The next one is be flexible. So when you make life plans, you have to be flexible. I can’t think of a single life plan that worked out along the path that I envisioned it.

No, and and and it’s gone both ways. Right. So you might have a vision for something and it might not go your way because it might not be as good. Right. It might not go your way because it ends up being better, which is actually the case that we’re in right now. Right. And so I just want to encourage you guys that it’s a matter you have to be flexible if you’re giving your plans back to the Lord. Right. And so we call that scripture verse in Proverbs. It says that a man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps. And we want to be those kinds of people who follow heart after God, right where we’re willing to take action. We’re willing to make decisions, but we’re also willing to. Say, Oh, I’m on this path and now I’m turning and going this direction, and in Philippians it’s really cool, you can go and read here for ten.

Ok, on down to here.

So OK, so Philippians four, verse 10 says, but I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at the last you are care for me has flourished again though you surely did did care but you lacked opportunity. Not that I speak in regard to need for I have learned in whatever state I am to be content.

Let’s pause right there real quick. So so good right there. That’s, you know, Paul getting taken care of and flourishing. He taught the word flourishing. So he has a contrast in his life of being totally taken care of by God through people and them taking action. Right.

Because if they weren’t caring for him, then he wouldn’t be testifying to it and flourishing.

Yeah. So that fruitfulness can continue. And then he’s also had the most worst situations happen. And I think that’s a kind of although it’s not exciting to some people when I first say it, it’s like that’s kind of a vision for where Christians, what Christians are going to be increasingly dealing with, which is, yeah, flourishing, but at the same time increased challenge. And so how are you talking about that in your marriage? Are you talking about that? I think it’s important. No longer are there just conspiracy theories or crazy thoughts. There is new realities that we have to talk about.

Yeah. So it continues. So Paul was talking about how he’s not speaking in regard to need because he’s learned in whatever state he’s in to be content. And then verse twelve, it says, I know how to be abased and I know how to abound everywhere. And in all things I have learned to have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

What’s so cool is I think we all need to experience that to be strengthened, meaning that if we’re going to be strong Christians in people God uses to influence and to lead our family and her kids in the way that makes them strong, we need to be seasoned and seasoned in understanding the flourishing and understanding how we respond when we’re extremely challenged. And it really is very much the same response, which is pointing to the father trusting God, living with joy in our hearts and taking necessary actions in wisdom to take care of one another. And if you think about ourselves, what we what gives us anxiety, what brings in fear, maybe we need some strengthening. And maybe the things we’re going through are for equipping us for bigger things in the future.

Now, you want a little tip on growing in maturity when maybe you’re not walking through a valley, walk through a valley with someone. And this is why if you continue reading in verse 14, it says, nevertheless, you have done well that you shared in my distress. Hey, man, they did well because they shared in his distress. Now, you, Philippians, know also that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed for Macedonia, no church shared with me concerning giving and receiving. But you only need just continues on talking about providing necessities, all kinds of things. And I think that that is something that I know for us over the years as we have walked through hard times with people or and walked through blessing times like I even just think about all the women I’ve been able to serve at births and just there. Right. Like, that’s such a beautiful time. But I’ve also walked through miscarriages with people too, and that’s been hard. But have I learned from both 100 percent and it’s equipped me to be able to do more work for the Lord. And so I just want to encourage you guys, if you want to be equipped, if you want to grow your capacity, which I have to exhort all of us in, we all need a greater capacity for what is coming because that’s the reality and our kids do, too. So don’t hide the distresses that you’re walking through completely from your kids. In fact, we did a podcast on this, How to Go through life trials with your kids in parenting. You got to you have to listen to that.

I teach you the growth cycle, which is just a way I’ve looked at growing your capacity and how to handle things correctly and how to be more equipped for the bigger challenges coming.

Yeah, which is something you’ve taught a lot of businesses, too, you guys. This is such an important topic. So go back to season one and find how to parent through life struggles because that podcast was a good one.

It was super good. So this is all under the point of being flexible because Paul is flexible. He’s saying no matter if employers matter, if I’m challenged, if I’m suffering, I’m sorry. I learned how to basically glorify God and all those situations and and continue the same mission that I’ve been on.

And so I think we need to analyze ourselves, are we on the same mission or do we get derailed and change our mission? Right. Yeah, OK, we see that happening. We see things happening now. Sometimes there’s wisdom in that and sometimes it’s fear and that wouldn’t be good. OK, only you can know that. Answer that. OK, and final point of this two part series is what to do now with your family.

This is where we get super practical. So I hope you guys have your notepad.

Ok, so just in the first episode, draw closer to God, visions more important than ever. We talked a lot about vision, evaluating areas of life on a date nights, having a marriage meeting to really stir things up and talk about things way ahead of time of doing things with your kids. And then and then for not fear, but wisdom. Five, you got to be flexible and adjust along the way because God is doing something that we can’t perfectly see his image sometimes of what he has for us. And finally, what to do now with your family once you’ve done the steps. And first of all, I would do another date night. Yeah.

So, I mean, and this might potentially get harder. I know that in some places there’s a curfew. Yeah. And so you’re going to want to plan to have your date night early enough that you can be back then your coffee away from you and. Yeah, I know. Sorry about that, sweetie. Yeah. So you’re going to want to this can be planning and talking about all kinds of things from how each kid how are each kid doing. Right. Like you’re evaluating where each kid’s at on all the different levels. Again, this is super important. We’ve gone over this many times in the process having conversations with both the mom and the dad. Where you’re going, how is Johnny doing? How is Suzy doing spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, educationally. And you’re evaluating those different areas in your talking together, one another and going, OK, what is one area that this kiddo really needs to grow and what is something that they’re struggling with? And how can we actually help them to not struggle with that? And the reason why I’m bringing this up is because one particular topic that is heavy, heavy on my heart right now is depression and anxiety and worry of children. OK, as you guys know, with the economy getting shut down, we saw not just covid cases, but there were deaths of suicides. There were people that were getting addicted to drugs, drinking alcohol when the rates went up. There’s been all kinds of issues. Right. And so caring about your kids, like we need to seriously evaluate and not just assume and be overwhelmed ourselves by what’s going on, that we’re not paying attention to where our hearts in the spiritual thermometers are saying about where our kids are at. And so we need to really evaluate. We need to talk and we need to come up with a plan potentially on how to help them get out of that.

Now, one thing that is that I’m just going to bring up on a side now that’s a big deal, is socializing, socialization right? Kids need to be around other kids. And when they do things like one family or immediate family quarantine, that can be either a good it can be OK for families who have good, healthy relationships or it can be really bad for kids who don’t have good, healthy relationships. And so we as Christians need to care for those who are not being cared for. We need to keep our eyes open for those needs. And I know that can be hard, especially if there is an intense quarantine. The reason why I’m bringing this up is because friends who live in Canada have recently just shared the new covid restrictions with me. Right. Sent me over some of the information and well, I’ll just briefly share a couple of them. This is in every province. This is in specific places, but that there is an immediate family only quarantine that is happening in some locations where you cannot have anyone outside of your immediate family in your home and you cannot go to anyone else’s home. And so there is no socializing happening. And so I think about those kids and I think about the potential for them. If this continues on the depression, anxiety, the worry, how they’re going to become even more addicted to social media, because that’s probably the only way of reaching out to people and how bad that can actually be that studies have shown for all people that if you’re already feeling a little depressed, social media dramatically increases that depression.

If you’re really joyful and happy, it also is either neutral or increases that. So it just accentuates how you’re already feeling in that direction.

Yeah, so I’m bringing this up because when you are having communication time with your spouse and you’re evaluating where your kids are at, you guys have to be willing to talk about the hard thing. And sometimes parents don’t want to admit that their kid is depressed. So don’t be that parent, because if you’re that parent for too long, you might pay a really big price. And so I’m just saying this hard word right now, because I care about these kids, I care about you, I know you care about your kids, so really be aware and try to engage more. And, yeah, it’s going to it’s going to mean that you might have to work harder as a parent.

So a practical thing, because we see different things in our kids, because we’re around different parts of the day or involved in different things with them, or one of us has a conversation, the other doesn’t. So in that date night, it’s important to write down the name of the kid and have a discussion about them. What do they need? How are they doing? How’s their spiritual life? Right. Are they are they feeling the like? They’re on purpose because everybody needs to feel valuable, like they’re contributing to society. Well, how can your kids be contributing to society if there’s lockdown’s. So you have to be creative and figure out ways within your home of how they can greater contribute.

Actually, I have a whole blog post on this, so we’ll put that in the notes on courageous parenting during in the podcast notes, because there that is one of the greatest things that every teen, every child needs, is they need their parents to lead them and what their purpose is and and be like, hey, how do you think my relationship is going with someone? So. Right. You have to evaluate each other because sometimes we all have I mean, we have blind spots. Yeah, right. And so I think that it’s it’s might be a hard question to ask, but you have to be willing to go there.

And if you guys are a little bit at a loss because you’ve been busy, occupied, things like that, and you’re not quite sure, at least you discover that and you can go, hey, how are you doing? How are you how are you feeling about everything that’s going on in the world? How are you feeling about what’s going on? Her family, how are you feeling about that relationship? They haven’t been able to connect with, you know, these kinds of things. You really need to ask deep questions. Three questions deep. We’ve said that before. OK, so you need to do that. Other things to talk. There’s a lot to talk about right now as you bring them to your family. I was just this morning talking to our family about, you know, if Biden actually wins because he got all the Electoral Electoral College votes that were legal because this could spit it out. And that’s true. Which is possible. Then what are things that are going to be happening based on what he said he’s going to do? And we went through some of those. And then if Trump wins, which actually is what I think you guys might think I’m crazy, but I actually think there’s so much fraud that’s going to get uncovered and this is going to be really good overall into the future, no matter who’s present way in the future, because we’re going to get the integrity back of our election process. So but I actually think Trump’s going to win. It’ll take about 30 days or so. And but the problem is the big challenge is you have to think ahead is that half the country has already embraced and accepted Biden as president because of what media has done to further implant that in everybody’s minds prematurely. And so now, if and when we have what I believe is going to happen to happen, Trump gets in continuous re-election, it’ll be the greatest upheaval that we’ve seen in modern times. I hope not.

But but that’s just the reality of when we know the character of that side. I mean, the reality is, is so there are a lot of people who are following Trump, Christians and non Christians. Yeah, obviously they are all conservatives. And there are some really hardcore extreme patriots who maybe don’t have the faith that other conservatives might have. And if Biden was elected, those people might get mad and do something right. They might. They might, but they might not.

We’re not seeing things on Patriots and.

Exactly. And so the reality is what you can see in the actions and what you see in the actions is that if this was to turn around, you will see looting, you’ll see fires, you will see more police.

And we’re not trying to create fear. We’re just realists. We’re just OK.

Well, I mean, what’s what’s what’s been happening in the history of the last year. Yeah, OK. And so the reality is those who have a strong hatred, I’ll say it, they have a hatred towards Trump. I mean, the reality is this is sad to me that when Trump had covid, there were people literally saying, I hope he dies. And that is that should never be something we ever hope for anyone.

We’ve had that same thing said to us, too.

I know. And this is not OK. This is not morality. This is not how humans should treat humans. I don’t care if you’re if you’re not even walking with the Lord and you’re just a good person, you would never wish anyone to die. That’s just pure evil and satanic.

Ok, and so there’s this element of when or if what Isaac is predicting could happen. The reality is we all know that that side, the left side will freak out. Maybe not all of them, but many will. Yeah. On social media. They’ll get vicious, there will be businesses that will be hurt by this. There will be people who are physically harmed because of this.

So, so, so either directions you have to think about if A happens and if B happens and what are what do we need to do? Nobody can tell you what to do. Nobody should tell you what to do.

And we’re not. That’s part of you reading your family sort of thinking. It’s part of praying and getting wisdom as part of having people beside you that you’re running with the trust.

And you’ve got the same thing for every person that’s right there. Right. Like, that’s the thing. Is that part of God’s sovereignty? We said this at the beginning, part of God’s sovereignty is that he has placed his body here on Earth. God’s word is alive and active. His Holy Spirit is here among his people. He can guide you and he may guide you to do complete opposite from what he’s guided us to do regarding where we take our family and things like that. And that is a good thing because that’s God’s sovereignty playing out for all people. Right. But the reality is that we are never called to just be passive in this life. That is. Otherwise, what’s the point in being here? What is the point?

Yeah, if God if we believe what the word says and some one twenty seven that children are heritage, that God in what is in someone thirty nine, that he knew us before we were created in our mother’s womb. But he has a plan for us like in Jeremiah. Twenty nine, eleven years. There are so many scriptures everywhere that prove that God has a plan and a purpose and that you are part of his plan and his purpose, and that he’s placed you where he has in this generation for a reason. And the minute we become passive, we deny that purpose.

We are denying not being obedient, being fully passive, and we have to take ownership over that because we are going to be held accountable. Yeah, we are. And if you’re a teacher, you’re held even more accountable, stricter judgment. And so we have to be aware, guys, and this isn’t like a legalistic oh, what are you doing?

Kind of message? Not at all. Like when you are fully sold out for Christ, don’t you just want to serve him to be a part of the great commission? Don’t you want more people to know about God? Don’t you want to see good happen to people, don’t you? Or do you want evil to happen to people?

Right, because the reality is, is if good people are quiet and they do nothing, then more evil is going to be loud.

So where’s your doctrine at? And does it contribute to passive Christianity in the next generation? Coming up, watching that and being even more passive. Remember, whatever parents do, a generation tends to do way more overblown.

So, yeah, so if they’re passive, then their kids are likely to be even more passive.

Right. That’s the point. So now other things besides politics, because you’re probably tired of that or what do we see in our family? What is the culture of our family right now? Culture is the ethos that actually what is not what parents think is is the actual real behaviors in the kids, in the parents, in the individuals, in the family team. And that actually get played out, not what you post is or share is with other people necessarily. It’s what’s true. And what is it that you don’t like in the culture of your family, the behaviors, the real attitudes, these kinds of things, and what needs to be changed. You should discuss that and you should start to reflect on that because it’ll help prepare you to drive forward maybe one, two or three at most initiatives next year.

You need to start evaluating and trying to figure out what those are now so that you can give real vision.

Yeah, so we’ve had things like generosity was one of our initiatives. Eagles, not Seagull’s producers, not consumers. Those are just some examples from memory of some of our initiatives that drive the culture forward in the Tolpin family. And so why did those those those weren’t just thought up of happenstance or prayed about thought discussed? And they really solve some of the things that we did were cultural issues, cultural issues and that and we were honest with ourselves that we felt like how can we improve that? Right. And again, parents have massive influence over their families and kids.

And so you are the difference makers. And as quarantine and more of this stuff buckles down because it probably will, you guys. Yeah, the reality is that you’re going to have even more influence because other people have less in seeing less people.

Yeah. Amen. Deuteronomy six six through seven. We’ve said this before. It’s definitely in our parenting mentor program as a Key verse and these words, let’s start from beginning hero Israel. And for the Lord, our God is the sorry, the Lord, our God. The Lord is one you shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength. Now, the key part here and these words which I command you today, shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them.

Sit in your house. Oh, my Bible. Sorry guys. My Bible got wet so it was crumpled over. She’ll talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk, by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as Frontalot between your eyes. You shall write them on the door of your house and on your gates.

So what are we doing here? We’re we’re writing. You shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength.

Because when that’s true, the overflow of that wisdom fruitfulness.

Right. Action, action, love. Like that’s the thing. It doesn’t just stop here. It’s saying you’re going to go talk to people about this. You’re going to teach. Those are doing words, you guys. These are verbs. These are action verbs. You’re going to write them. Writing is an action verb. Write them on your doorposts, your house. That means you’re declaring to the public. Back then, there was no social media. Guess what the closest thing was your doorposts. Any signs that you have out in your front yard are probably the closest to social media or the closest to declaring to the world. Right. What you believe in the the Lord is your God. Yeah. And so this is what God’s telling us. Yeah. You can translate that into. Be bold. People should know that you are following Christ.

Amen. Now we’re preparing you for a future episode. We’ll do closer to the New Year about what to do next after you’ve prepped for reflection on this year, the culture, the attitudes, behaviors reflected on each kid reflect on your marriage is another thing that we need to remind you to do.

How is your marriage? How are you feeling about it? How am I feeling about it? What do we need to work on? Let’s not try and fix everything at once, but let’s work on what matters and come to agreement on some things. Maybe out of that comes you’re going to read a book together. Maybe out of that comes you join our parent mentor program because you know what people are finding. It equally works on marriage as much as it does your parents. Yeah, that’s true. And it does serve single parents too. Equally, too. It’s amazing. But anyways, we’re prepping you for that. And you’ve got to communicate you’ve got to communicate more now with each other and with your kids than ever before.

You’ve got to lead now more than ever. You’ve got to do life planning more now than ever. And you go, well, how can I do that when everything’s changing so fast? Well, if you’re not proactively changing to handle the coming change, you’re even more your family, even more potentially could get hurt. You guys got to be thinking and you know what is so cool? It’s not in own strength. We get the Holy Spirit.

We had God going before us prompting.

Visiting our hearts of things that don’t even make sense, maybe to you, even I know some of them and you start listening, you start listening because if you only listen when it makes sense to you, you’re not listening to the Holy Spirit all the time.

We need to be listening. It’s not always going to make sense to us.

And then as we entertain it, as we ponder, as we talk to each other, as we do it, then and then becomes reality.

It becomes reality, and it might make a lot more sense down the road.

In hindsight, I think of hindsight, right? Isn’t it always easier for people to look back on something and go, oh, that that I would have changed that? Or maybe they look back and they go, Oh, that’s why that happened. Yeah, right. You can’t say that until hindsight, but this is the thing. You can’t live in hindsight all the time. Sometimes you have to make decisions today in faith and trust in God with the promises that you know are biblical and you follow him. You don’t follow man, and you do what God’s telling you to do and then guess what? And maybe a month. Maybe in a week, maybe in a day, maybe in a year. You look back and you have that hindsight and go, praise God, praise God.

Now, a reminder, if you are thinking of moving to southern Idaho because we get so many questions and requests on this, we’ll put a link to the person in the company that helped us to relocate. And it was an absolute blessing working with them. So you can check that out. Akridge parenting that come under this episode or the relocation podcast, even part one. I believe this has it in there. So thanks for joining us.

See you next time. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode.

For more resources, go to CourageousParenting.com and CourageousMom.com for free online workshops, blog posts and best selling courses. Also, we wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program, Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week we release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

This is an incredible self-paced program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s a supportive community. You’ll have access to our private online group, Live Webcast, and the courageous parenting text message line. Where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragement straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentor program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com

That’s CourageousParenting.com

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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