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Marriage Tips for Thriving During Postpartum

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Episode Summary

Postpartum is sanctifying, hard, and can leave women feeling like a failure as a mother. This should NOT be! Join us as we equip marriages with practical tips on how to thrive during postpartum, all from a Biblical perspective.

Today we are talking about the very relevant topic of postpartum and how to thrive in the midst of it! 

While you may not be in the season of postpartum this is relevant to a lot of people and may still be relevant to you. 

If you have ever had a postpartum experience that was maybe more traumatic for you or if past postpartum seasons were not pleasant memories for you then this is very important for you to hear because as someone who has gone through postpartum before you need to make sure that what you are sharing regarding postpartum is in alignment with what the bible says and encouraging the younger generations of moms to love their husbands and children and to be busy in the home just like Titus two talks about.

Within the Titus two ministry childbirth and postpartum are two controversial topics that don’t get handled enough. If only they were discussed more and people were more knowledgable on these topics marriages and families could be transformed in a very healthy way. 

If you have had negative experiences with postpartum and you have kids who witnessed it you could potentially be instilling fear in them which could prevent them from having kids in their future! It is vital to leave a legacy where your kids are excited to have families of their own and the way we as parents handle things such as postpartum will impact how our kids handle them as well. 

Our mission is to impact one million legacies and legacies start with babies. Postpartum is a natural season that is a result of babies and that is why we feel called to discuss postpartum today. So let’s jump into it!

Marriage Tips for Thriving During Postpartum

  1. Marriage

  2. Biblical Community

  3. Planning for Postpartum

  4. A New Vision for Postpartum

1. Marriage

  • Often women feel that they don’t have the support they need from their husbands during postpartum and most husbands don’t even realize this! 
  • If you are a woman and you feel like you are not getting the support you need from your husband then you need to tell him!
  • (We share our story of going through postpartum for the first time. Tune in to hear the full story!)
  • Postpartum can be an amazing time having a newborn but at the same time it can be a struggle and there are all kinds of things happening in a woman when she is going through postpartum and it is vital for a healthy marriage that you know about them. 
  • It is so important that you as a married couple are a team. Every woman has a different experience with childbirth and depending on the experience and situation you men might need to help out extra and yes men do need to work and provide for their families but it is important to remember that your bride and your children are the number one priority after God and if you put work or other things before family you will undoubtedly reap the consequences. 
  • You men may not always know how to help your wife during postpartum but it is important to understand that just by your presence and support your wife will feel like she is taken care of even if you don’t quite know what you are doing.
  • It is important to communicate with your spouse through postpartum and plan things like meals, sex, night shifts with the baby, etc. 
  • 1 Peter 3:7 says “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
  • It is so important that men are walking in understanding with their wives and supporting them in ways they need support and giving space when they need space. This can only happen when you’re in the word so make sure you’re in the word and walking strong with God!
  • Men are like the coach, when a woman is going through postpartum she needs her husband to remind them of the truth. You as the man need to remind your wife of who she is and what she is capable of and that she just brought a child into the world which is one of the greatest things ever! 
  • Even if you had an amazing birth experience when you are going through postpartum and you can’t go do the things you want to do you’re in a very vulnerable spot and it can be easy to allow the devil to whisper lies to you. 
  • So husbands if you are not praying for your wives, if you’re not praying for her while you are at work if your not reading scripture to her and discussing them with her and bathing her in the word of God then you are potentially allowing the whispers and lies from the enemy to compromise your wife and her spiritual walk with God. it’s these things that couples fail to do that could spiral a woman into postpartum depression. 
  • If you don’t have the right support from your husband then you at least need to have a postpartum plan written out where you will have support from other people. You cant go through postpartum on your own. It was not God’s purpose for you to go through postpartum on your own. 
  • There is pressure in today’s culture to be independent but independence in postpartum is one of the main reasons that women fall into depression and not only is this destructive to the woman but it is also hurting the new child. Newborns need to be able to bond with their mothers. That is how God intended it and that is the healthiest option. It is very difficult to bond with your child when you are going through depression. 
  • It is important to remember that you as a father need to bond with your newborn and young children as well! A common lie that people believe is that your kids won’t remember you when they are young and they won’t be affected by what you do when they are young. This is not true! Your children may have a hard time remembering things from their younger years but they are one hundred percent affected by what you do when they are young. The connections you make, the love that you share and the habits and disciplines you influence or lack thereof in your young children form them while they are young. 

POSTPARTUM COURSE!

2. Biblical Community

  • If you are not in a biblical community that is encouraging you then postpartum will be challenging. 
  • Do people in your community truly believe that children are a blessing or do they secretly believe that they are a burden? Their attitude, behavior and how they treat children and pregnant women will give you your answer.
  • What is the purpose of biblical friendship? If you have not been real, honest, transparent and shared with sisters and brothers your fears, struggles, and past issues with postpartum then you are probably not engaging in biblical community or the option to be in biblical community simply doesn’t exist. 
  • Biblical community is amazing for spiritual and emotional support but more than that it is amazing for practical support such as bringing meals, helping with home management, etc. don’t rob people of the blessing of being able to serve and be the hands and feet of Jesus! If you don’t open up and you isolate yourself then you’re robbing people of the blessing of service. 

PARENTING MENTOR PROGRAM

3. Planning for Postpartum

  • Some things to plan for in anticipation of postpartum are meals. Whether you have someone who is going to cook or you have twenty to thirty meals in your freezer you need to be ready and not feel pressure to cook during postpartum.
  • Plan to heal naturally. We cover this in-depth in our postpartum course!
  • It is important to do the research or go through our postpartum course and find out what you need to have in your home so that you can be ready and not need to rely on someone who isn’t knowledgeable to go shopping for you. 
  • Plan out how long you are going to rest and stay home. You need to create your plan and then share it with family members and close friends so that they understand your boundaries and how to help and support you through postpartum. 
  • (Angie shares her past postpartum struggles. Tune in to hear the story)
  • No matter how much experience you have, no matter how much knowledge you have, you are going to need support. 

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4. A New Vision for Postpartum

  • Women have an incredible ability and honor to partner with God in bringing forth life!
  • God designed women’s bodies so amazingly to do this, but they still struggle with believing the lies that they won’t be able to do postpartum well and that’s just not the truth!
  • When we have our focus on the Lord and we are choosing to engage versus avoid postpartum can be a very different experience. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be any pain, it doesn’t mean that we won’t have any trials. It means that our perspective is different in the midst of it.
  • 1 Timothy 2:15 says “Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.”
  • The if statement in this scripture is so key, It is beautiful. If we view postpartum as God refining us so that we are prepared to be better parents, that changes everything because we don’t run away from growth.

FREE COURAGEOUS PARENTING WORKSHOP

We encourage you and your spouse to listen to this episode and then talk about it. Go on a date night and discuss these things. 

Thank you so much for joining our discussion today, we hope that this was fruitful for you!

see you next time!

Scripture In This Episode:

1 Peter 3:7 – “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Timothy 2:15 – “Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.”

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Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 1 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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