“Preparing Your Family For Change In The New Year”

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Episode Summary

Seize the season to help each individual in your family implement the change they would like to see in their lives for the coming year.

You will be pumped to lead change in your family after this episode! January is too late to lead a family in setting real intentions for change, it’s best to start in November or early December. Isaac and Angie share exactly what their plan is over the next 60 days as they lead their family to reflect on what everyone is thankful for around thanksgiving time, then forge ahead in thinking about changes they want to make in 2022, presentations to the family, and launching family culture initiatives.

Main Points in This Episode:

  • Brainstorm all the things everyone is thankful for this year. All the ways God showed up too.
  • Get people thinking about the different areas of their life by having them rate them.
  • Come back together after everyone has set a few intentions for each area of their life.
  • Meet as a married couple and discuss aspects of the family culture you would like to improve.
  • Launch a few simple phrases or words that are an area of focus as a family.
  • Create a time for each person to present their ideas for change and get feedback.

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Scripture in This Episode:

Psalm 100 –Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.”

Psalm 37:3-4 –Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

Luke 14:28 – “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?”

Proverbs 3:5-6 –Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from courageous

Mom and I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married for twenty one years and have seen the fruit from raising our eight kids biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the

Bible, we can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from their faith by age 18, and it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting and the fall. Hey, everyone, welcome to the podcast.

Hi, guys. That was a new intro, you know?

You know, we’re coming close to season three. Season four starts in January, and I thought I’d just change it up, you know? Welcome everybody. We’re talking about preparing your family for change in the new year.

This is your like most exciting topic.

Well, I think it’s pretty exciting. I just I love change. I’m one of those weird ones, but it’s OK. If you don’t love change, that’s OK. God wired you that way to be this stable, steadfast, keep things working the way they are. And we all need to rub against each other a little bit, and this is going to have some steadfastness to it, and it’s going to have some change to it.

That’s right. So you guys were were very close to the Thanksgiving holiday in two thousand and twenty one. Yeah. And whether you have taken a moment to just reflect on the things that you’re thankful for or not, we have some great practical tips, ideas, things that we’ve done with our family over the years that we’re going to share with you guys in today’s podcast that, honestly, I really think is important for preparing our hearts for the Christmas season. Yeah. And for the new year, when a lot of times people are thinking over the previous year and figuring out what they want to do with their life if they have older kids like, there’s just so many things, right? But to really reflect on what you’re thankful for is a good place to start. I was just thinking one of the ways that Jesus teaches us to pray is our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name thy kingdom. Come thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven and it’s all about God. Yeah, it’s all about remembering who he is, what his character is about and declaring it, proclaiming it, acknowledging it. And that’s kind of what we do during Thanksgiving. It’s part of what we do during Thanksgiving. It’s not just about what he’s done for us or what he’s doing, but it’s also like, can we just say thank you, Jesus for being a good god?

Amen. And you know, depending where you are in the world, there may not even be something called Thanksgiving and there is in the states, and it’s a little different date in some other places. And so just around these weeks, it’s important to a good time actually to think about what we’re thankful for. So that’s the beginning part of these steps. We’re going to teach you to really prepare your family and everybody in your family is wired differently. Some of them are more willing to change, and some of them, you know, like keeping things the same. But what we know if you look over the last few years is the speed of change happening around us is accelerating more faster every single year.

You can’t fight against that change in a lot of regards. I mean, you can stand firm and fight against tyranny or what, you know, different things like that. You have to, based upon the convictions of the Holy Spirit, puts on your heart and the whys behind those things. You really need to evaluate if they’re godly or if they’re prideful, right? But the truth is, is life is going to continue changing and we shouldn’t be against that. We should be fighting against that. Instead, we should actually try get in front of

It, get in front of it and be proactive in leading your family. And you know, we don’t want to be the kind of people that proclaim things we’re going to do in the new year around January and our kids hear us and then they see us, not do them. So we have to our yes has to be yes or no has to be no. And our word, it needs to be as good as gold in front of our kids and what we say in our marriage and what you say to yourself. Your identity could be compromised. If you tell yourself, even yourself, you’re going to do things and then you don’t do them. What happens the next time you say, I’m going to do something, you’re building an identity within yourself that even though I say things, I don’t usually do them. So the chances of you following through on your initiatives are very low. And I think it’s really important there are some intentions set as a family and individually within your family, and that you are somewhat of a coach helping your family members create good change for the new year.

So that really happens way before the new year if you’re going to do it effectively. And I think Thanksgiving is the time around Thanksgiving and in November beginning December is just a perfect spot to do that. So, hey, we’re going to dive into it in a second. And Angie’s got this killer song for you guys, but we want to thank you guys for being part of the one million legacies movement. Every time you share written review, share social media, all the things, it makes a massive difference and we appreciate it. We could not do it without you. In fact, the algorithms are often working against us on social. The media and elsewhere, and we’ve refused to pay for advertising on Facebook and Instagram, although it used to work for the courses and things like that and the podcast because we don’t want to give money to that. So, you know, we count on you. So every time you share it, it’s how we’re able to put so much free content out there that praise God is blessing people.

That’s right. So let’s dive in. I want to encourage you guys with Psalm. One hundred. It’s a song of praise for the Lord’s faithfulness to his people, and he has been so faithful to all of us. I think that if we start our days focused more on the things to thank him for than we are on the things that are potentially going wrong or the things that we could worry about. We will have a better day. There will be a more biblical joy of the Lord atmosphere in our homes. This is something this is the best way to lead your families is to have a joyous spirit, right? So this says make a joyful shout to the Lord. All you lands. This applies to everyone geographically, everywhere. Yeah. All you lands make a joyful shout to the Lord. All you lands. Serve the Lord with gladness. Sure, come before his presence with singing Isaac worship going to be singing

I’m going to be.

You are know that the Lord. He is God. Who is he? He is God. And it is he who has made us and not we ourselves. I mean, that just just totally shut down the new age teachings that are all over social media that are like, If you dream, you can be it. I’m sorry that says it is he who made us and not we ourselves. We are his people and we are says and the sheep of his pasture. We are the sheep of his pasture. That’s what the Bible says. We are his sheep enter into his gates with Thanksgiving and into his courts with praise. Be thankful to him and bless his name for the Lord is good. His mercy is everlasting and his truth endures to all generations.

His truth endures. We have so much to be thankful for and I was looking up scriptures on thankfulness and it’s like unending go. Look it up. It’s awesome. I think Thanksgiving the word Thanksgiving, unending or thankful, put that in. It’s just a zillion scriptures. It’s so cool to see, and it has to do with being thankful for God and what God has given us. What God has blessed us for who God is for. You know, the hope we have in God, all of these things. And sometimes we can get occupied by the challenges in our in front of us. But we need to be thankful, and that’s a very, very important message.

You know, I think when I read this last verse in his truth, endures to all generations. That’s also a message that is all throughout the old and New Testament. His truth endures forever. His truth endures to all generations. I think that we all need to remember in the midst of these days where evil is trying to censor things even on social media, right? The reality is, is God’s word is going. His is his truth, and it will endure to all generations, regardless of social media, how many generations have had without social media? Amen. I know it seems like it can be so all encompassing and like, everyone’s world is there and businesses rely on it a lot and all these different things. Sure. The truth is is that it didn’t exist and his truth still endured to all generations. But it was passed on by purposeful parents that were reading the commandments to their children over and over when they rose, when they laid down. When were they at a moment along the way? And guys, if they can do it, if those generations who were busy working hard with they were shepherds in the hillside and coming down late at night and and eating, and they were working physically toiling the land to provide food for their families. If they had the time to teach their kids the scriptures, the holy scriptures, then we have no excuse. None of us

Do.

We don’t have such an easy life compared to.

So here we’re going to knock it out here. So around this time, the Thanksgiving time, at least in the U.S., you can look in a calendar when that is if you’re listening some other time. This is a really good time to kind of have a meeting with your kids somewhere around it and just whiteboard or write in a journal as a parent, as you’re leading this and write down all the things the kids and you say you’re thankful for. Keeping in mind, like really all the things, what is God done this year? And people might say some things and you go, Well, what did God do on our trip to, you know, here? You know, how did God provide for this or what happened with this? And you’re stirring up things to be thankful for

Stories really

Testimonies of God because it’s so easy over the course of a year to forget those. And how beautiful I like the journal idea, actually, I use Evernote and I take pictures of whiteboards and I create slideshows for the family. I’m just, I guess that’s the business hat, but having them in a journal and keeping track every year of all the things you’re

Thankful for, but you know, that would be really cool. And I have over the years with home schooling, I’ve had home school journals that were for each year and in the first, like 10 years before we were doing like big meetings as a family, dry erase boards and focusing on it, I would have the kids right. We would cut out little leaves and the kids would write down what they were thankful for and we would tape them along the top of the windows and the dining room area so that we had all these little things that we were thankful for. One year we had a it wasn’t a dry erase board, but it was one of those glass boards that was on the wall. And at the time I had been reading and and Ann Voss camp book was called a thousand gifts, and it was about all the things that you’re thankful for. And I read like three or four chapters to the kids, and we started making a list the whole month of November on the board. And then it ended up being like on paper, on the wall, and then I should have took pictures.

I love that I was such a good example.

We put it in the home school journal.

So another thing I remember a story when we did our three month RV trip, we did a whiteboard exercise right after that one thing and there was over 100. Whether they’re miracles or things we’re thankful for. Yeah, over 100 just from that trip, just from that three. And obviously, it’s harder. The more distance there is to remember things, but you know, there should be a big list like if you really, really think about it, there’s a lot to be thankful for what in the spiritual walk with God or we think before what are in our learning and knowledge are we think before what are skill development or we think of what are we in relationships or we think for financial projects, service generosity, miracles, ways, safety, all the things that we could be provisioned thankful for?

You know, it’s interesting because this has been an exercise that we have done throughout the year, not just around Thanksgiving, although we do try to do it around Thanksgiving every year. But one of the things that I think is really helpful, like Isaac said, because sometimes it’s harder to remember when you’re farther away from something where maybe there were a lot of miracles. It’s a good practice to just be into multiple times throughout the year to just pull up the dry erase board or chalkboard or whatever and have a family meeting and go, You know what? We’re going to focus on the good things. You know what? I find there is one time that we did this, actually. It was like a couple of weeks after I lost a baby, and I don’t know if it was a purposeful thing that you did or not, but I remember us like I remember that things were down. Hmm. We were just kind of down in the dumps. It was a very tough season. We were grieving, but it was affecting the atmosphere on a daily basis and we needed to be reminded that God was good. And so are you in a place where you need to be reminded that God is good? Maybe you should pull out a journal and a piece of paper pen and start writing down all the ways that you saw him work in your life in this last year. All the the things that you can be thankful for for him. And as you do that, I tell you once you when you start worshiping the next thing you guys, when I read Psalm one hundred, it said, also to sing to the Lord. It was saying, Thank the Lord. It was saying Thank the Lord. And then it said, Sing to the Lord. When you move into that that time of worship, your worship is so much sweeter because you just had your heart and your mind filled and focused on all the things you’re thankful for.

And right along with that, here’s what the Bible says and Psalm. Thirty seven, three or four? So good, by the way, these scriptures make a note of them. You could use them when you’re doing this with your family, trust in the Lord and do good dwell in the land and feed on his faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart. He’s a good god. He didn’t have to make grapes taste so good. He did because he loves us. And that’s a great little example of some kind of food your family likes. Tell them that you didn’t have to make steak tastes so good. Whatever it is. What if your family loves? He doesn’t because he loves us and he’s a good god, and he wants us to have the desires of our heart that are in his will right? And that could be a whole topic with your kids, and this is important around what we’re talking about. So review all the things, get all the things, discuss them. Pray together to God. He wants to actually hear us verbalize what we’re thankful for. That’s what scripture says.

Yeah, because it’s about relationship. And I think that a lot of times when we’re teaching our kids about the ways of the Lord like we were just talking about, sometimes what can get conveyed to kids is to just do what the Bible says, right? Obey what the Bible says. Listen to what the Bible says, and that is true. That is part of what we want to teach our kids. Kids, but we also want them to know God and we want them to have relationship with him and in knowing God, part of knowing God is acknowledging his character qualities and acknowledging who he is, not just what he’s done. Yeah, right. And loving him for who he is and being thankful for what he’s done, actually. And so we need to make sure that we’re when we’re teaching our kids about God, that it’s in this context of God is a real. He he came in the flesh as a real person. Father God was a spirit that he created us, and he’s the creator of all things that are tangible that we can be thankful for, right? Amen. Like Isaac was saying, the grapes like, talk to your kids at their level, like the things that they enjoy and delight in. We need to bring it back to God so that they’re like, Oh yeah, I’m thankful to God. Like, Do our kids think I’m thankful to God multiple times throughout the day? Because if they don’t, it’s likely because that’s not something that’s been either taught to them or impressed upon them enough to recognize this is a gift.

And if we’re not thankful, things fall apart, right? For example, I see the chickens roaming out here as we’re doing this podcast, and I’m like, Wow, it’s so important that we verbalize that we’re thankful that God gave us chickens and has been protecting the chickens. We haven’t lost a single one out of twenty two and they’re out roaming and there’s wildlife and, you know, thankful for the eggs. They provide all these things. So how much more delight now do the kids have in going and taking care of those chickens when they’re bringing it back to God and and God’s provision? So I just think that’s important. It helps with you, parent as well. But why do we start with thankfulness as we’re preparing family for change in the new year? Because we need to be content with what God has given us before we start planning for bigger or different desires of our heart. Because if we don’t have contentedness, then we might be pursuing new things from a discontent heart and that would not be good and God would not be for it. And so we want to be content content, by the way, that gets misused. I’ve heard it misused in church before where it’s like, be content with what you have. Yes, but it doesn’t mean we’re complacent not trying to do new things, try new things, make things better. That doesn’t mean that’s not what continues.

Same thing with the lack of purpose or intention and growing right. That would be a place of complacency, not contentment. So we should be discontent with in a sense, or I don’t like that,

And we should be content

To be content with what we have, but be humble enough to recognize that there’s always room to grow. Yes, right? And be motivated to grow.

This is the next part, which is maybe a week or two later, sometime in December is great is to have a meeting where you’re having the kids literally think about the areas of their life that they want to improve. In twenty twenty two things, they want to change things. They want to get better at how they want to grow and mature as people. And we individually and collectively as a marriage should be thinking about those things too. So I’m going to give you this list again. How about spiritual in the areas of health, learning, skills, relationships, financial products, service or generosity? You know where, what areas in? I would literally tell everybody to rate themselves on these areas from one to 10 10 being highest.

Yeah, it’s interesting because when you start bringing up these different areas in your kids lives, you’re going to notice that some of them are going to rate higher in certain areas than they do others, right? And so you also want to kind of remind your kids at the beginning of the session, listen, we’re not going to compare. This is an individual thing. You’re not rating your sister or your brother. You’re rating yourself your own heart. Be really focused on that. Be introspective. And you know what? This is a time for us to be able to encourage each other as we’re sharing those ratings. That’s one of the things that I think I was so encouraged by. The first time we did this with our family was sometimes someone would rate themselves really low on a certain category, and then the brothers and sisters would all go, Well, actually, I would. I think you’re being too hard on yourself because I saw this and this and this and this growth, and then somebody else would pipe in and somebody else and ended up being a really encouraging session.

It’s also encouraging better relationships with each other with siblings because maybe one of the siblings feels like there’s a struggle with another sibling. And when that sibling gets up there and says, I think I can improve in this area, they’re demonstrating humility and it enables that other sibling having a relational challenge in an area with another one to have more compassion for them, more grace for them all. They’re trying to improve

In that right, right? And you know, I don’t know. To be more specific, I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way before with somebody in relationship, but if you have had a a hard, harder relationship and you’re not quite sure how to bring it up to the person and you think maybe they wouldn’t really respond or you think maybe they’re so prideful that they don’t ask? Actually recognize that there is a problem when you do a session like this and the kids are being introspective and they’re thinking and then they’re sharing about the areas that they think they could work on. It helps everybody else who’s sitting there going, Oh, they don’t have a blind spot in that area. They actually do see that they need to improve. Now I can. I is. I can let up. I don’t need to be so like in their face about that issue.

It creates a space for grace, and I think that’s super important encouragement, recognition of these things. And it’s done so. So rate themselves and you have a meeting where everybody and I would separate these individuals because some of the kids, you’re going to need to help the younger kids. And we have the five year old Solomon do this. And you know, it takes mom or dad sitting with them and thinking about it, not putting words

In their mouth. But it’s making

A little bit more simplified, but making a little thing. And and then they might, you know, give some present a presentation on areas they want to grow. In addition to that, you can add this in if you’d like, but they make goals based on specific goals on spiritual like, Hey, you know, I want to read through the Bible this year, maybe the older kid or I would really want to study the book of job or whatever. Right? Right. Health, you know, I’m really committed to this and that now I would give a little lesson to people on setting out to do things their identifiable and doable with the Lord’s help, right? If every single area of our life, we’re going to the max of possibility. The chances of all of it not happening are high. So while I believe in seeing things big, especially if this is new for your family, you might want to start with smaller objectives as they work the muscle of following through. So in the coming years, that as that muscle gets stronger than it’s easier to shoot for bigger things. And because what you wouldn’t want to do is at the end of the year to review them, and none of them happen. But you know what? I have even had a kid write down all these things and admit to me they never looked at it after this exercise. But at the end of the year, when we did it again and reviewed, they looked at it in 90 percent of them happened.

There’s some power in verbalizing to other people what your goals are and writing them down because we tend to remember better what we have thought of written down and then shared with somebody else. It’s it’s a matter of actually. Yeah. In fact, including God, that’s a really important passage. So in sum, thirty seven, where we just were a few verses down in verse seven or in verse five, it says, commit your way to the Lord and trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass. And I think that when we’re getting ready to start setting the goals, the first place that we start after the kids have evaluated is we remind them now, listen, before you start writing your goals, commit your way to the Lord. Like, Is this as you’re coming up with your goal? Is that something that you think would be God’s will for your life? Yeah. And commit it to him. Give it to him. Trust in the Lord. And I think that that’s part of why a lot of times they’ll see 90 percent of what they wrote, even if they didn’t check it was actually accomplished because we spent that time committing it to the Lord.

And who else knows siblings?

No right parents now.

And so there’s encouragement, there’s accountability. There’s a knowledge about each other that sometimes seems nebulous in families. We don’t quite know what everybody’s intentions are, and if they’re different from each other, they can create conflict with each other as there’s a certain amount of resource and things like that. And so it just really enriches the marriage conversation to seeing what kids really want. It enriches the educational experience you provide for them and all of the different things in how to allocate resources. I think it’s just a wonderful thing to do, and you’re creating a muscle in them that will last a lifetime and you’re launching these kids out. Eventually, they’ve done this year after year after year, leading their own families. Now, what is the impact of that into the future? It’s just really, really powerful. So it’s setting intentions is key. The next part is your marriage. At some point along the line you’ve got has several marriage meetings on dates or at your in your bedroom or whatever were your analyte you’re bringing to the table after you’ve done this individually and then marriage is one of your things. I didn’t say that for the kids, but add that on, you know, that be under relationships. But the marriage relationship

Is super important. We do on a date night too. And so I mean, you can do a date night in yeah, but like having a time alone where you and your spouse are talking about like, how is your marriage, how or is your marriage regarding finances spiritually? Do you pray together? What goals would you? What things did you set the year before that you really wished were a thing that were more consistent and evaluate like, where do we need to improve? Have that productive Congress?

Station super important, this equips you to and you’re preparing for after you’ve done these things for this other family meeting where you’re kind of launching the family initiatives and we’re not going to go deep into culture right now. There’s a whole episode on that. Our second episode, very cool episode, but culture is the ethos is the unwritten rules. It’s the actual real behaviors when nobody’s looking. It’s actually what happens within a team, not what people say is happening or what we say we stand for. It’s what the group actually stands for by their actions and behavior. And so you need to think about as a married couple, what are the actions and behaviors? The real actions and behaviors. That need improvement. And then distill it down to a couple of key words or key statements for some rhythms and initiatives that orientate your marriage towards those, I can think in past eagles, not sea eagles. You know, we’re going to be eagles. We’re going to lead and not just squabble and fight each other for scarce resources. That’s what seagulls do. But eagles lead

Producers versus consumers, right?

Yeah. So you can tell we’ve spent some time thinking of catchy phrases they remember. What does it mean to be a dolphin? They’d probably say eagles, not seagulls.

Yeah, I mean, that actually has come up a couple of times. Yeah. I mean, Kelsey, we even got her when she was at college. We got her a necklace at an eagle on it. Yeah. To remind her to be an eagle, not to stand firm. And you know, I think there’s an element too of, you know, you want your kids identity to be firmly founded in Christ. That actually is what Megan’s last podcast was on when she said Kids Podcast for Friday. And you want your kids to want that, like they have to pursue that themselves. Yeah. But there’s also this element of like identity as a family as well that you do want to instill in your kids and a family culture, which Isaac was talking about and having some kind of healthy, catchy phrase can be helpful, but it’s not completely necessary to have a catchy phrase to have one word to focus on. For one year, we focused on the word generosity, which was transformational, you know, so like my point in it, I mean, sometimes people are like, Oh my word for the year, well, then I wonder sometimes if people ever go back and really like focus on being that word, right? Like, you see it all begin a year, but then you never hear anything about it. The rest of

The year is hard. And so the key is, here you are in January, you should have a regroup. Or maybe that’s when you launch the initiatives and they’ve already done this. Other things and you recognize and you kind of talk about what everybody’s trying to do and then, you know, every few months kind of putting it out there. I’ve I’ve texted pictures of people’s goals to them halfway through the year and things like that, the older kids and just kind of keeping it in front of them, asking them about it, How’s this going? How’s that going? Yeah. You know, some of this comes in the business world. I read a book called Dream Manager, and when I shifted from what I was doing before, which was very much visionary and stuff to specifically knowing the people that I lead what they care about, even beyond what they’re doing with me in business and what we’re doing together. It was transformational. It was wild how that changes things. If you want your kids to be focused and not bored and and driven towards good things and these kinds of things, what are you doing as a leader to help them with that? We’re all wired to desire progress, but if we’re not helping them focus on godly, good progress and

We’re not giving them the opportunities, we might

Be letting them

Down. Yeah, I mean, that’s part of it, too, is that we need to give our kids the opportunities to do more than just a workbook at the table, right? Like, I see the kids coming alive as they’re learning a new, new skill of guitar, for example, or whatever the new skill is like. Luke came alive when he started doing more woodworking stuff. Drew came alive when he was doing more work. Construction on the building big

Project readdressed lead worship with the family the other day. It was amazing.

It’s just really cool to see them be excited and to hear them practicing. And anyway, my point is, though, is that took some work on our part to give them that opportunity. It took investment, right? Sometimes you have tools, you have expensive driving

Them, driving them.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, so sometimes there is a little bit of a cost, but the point is is, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t it be worth it regardless of the cost to see your kids come alive?

Amen. Amen. So this scripture right here is so good. Proverbs three, five three six Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean on on your own understanding and all your ways. Acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths. That scripture should be said when you’re talking about this to your family because we don’t want to direct our paths, we want God to direct our paths. Well, how does that work? Well, if we’re in prayer and we’re giving these things up to the Lord and things come to our mind, let’s just trust the Lord’s giving them to us. Let’s not have this kind of walk with God where we’re questioning, Oh, what were my thoughts in his thoughts and things like that and second guessing, so we’re not sure what to step forward in? I don’t want to second guess things in life.

I mean, if you just start moving forward, one of the things we’ve taught our kids is if if you have a heart’s desire for something and that’s something as it is in alignment with God’s word, it’s righteous. It’s a good thing. Then God probably put it there. And so you need to start moving forward. And if it’s not his will, he can pray for him to close the door and direct your path into the path that he wants it to be in. But don’t just sit there idle doing nothing. No, we need to take action. And so sometimes the best way to know where God’s path is is just in faith. Trust him and start moving forward and let him lead you. But a huge part of this verse, says Trust and Lord with all your heart like do your do your kids actually love the Lord with their whole hearts because they’re not going to be able to trust God with their whole heart if they don’t love him with their whole heart? And so talking to your kids, evangelizing them, discipling them, this is an important conversation we own. It’s more than one conversation discipleship as a daily thing. It’s not one event, it’s not one conversation. And then it says, and lean not on your own understanding. And so what is that? That is humility. Leaning, not on our own understanding is the in my mind is the epitome of humility of being able to say, I actually don’t understand. I actually don’t know. God, you tell me seeking him in his word, but also seeking wise counsel, taking more scripture into this approach towards what are we to do? What should our goals be? Would be to seek wise counsel, ask other people if you don’t know what your gifts are. Sometimes kids don’t know, and they need the parents to speak life into them to tell them what their gifts are, to give them ideas of what they should try so that they find out, Oh, I really do love that.

And just remember, if the change you want is probably possible in your marriage and your parenting and your relationships financial, but it usually means that there’s something you have to change, and someone once said change is the price of progress. And if we want real progress, we have to include God. We have to set intentions. And if you want your kids to be vibrant and alive and energy towards what they’re doing, their education and all the things, then they need to be participating in setting those intentions and you helping them move forward in the directions that God has put wiring in them to delight for because they may not delight in the things you delight in, but they may delight in different things because God made them different. So let’s not force people into a box for what we delight in. Yeah, let’s move people in the box towards God’s. What God has put in passions in the heart.

And if we understand that truly, our kids are going to be the most. Vibrant and thriving, if they’re doing what God made them to do versus what we think they should do, then wouldn’t that change our perspective to want them to be walking in God’s ways? And so we need to really be careful. I’ve seen a lot of parents over the years, unintentionally and sometimes intentionally live vicariously through their kids, right? Repeat history over again. Maybe they they always had a dream of doing something growing up. And so they work really hard, and they put their kids in lessons for many years or one sport for many, many years. And they’re putting the pressure on and all because it was their dream and not their kid’s dream. And so as parents, when we’re guiding our kids through this and our kids are evaluating what are their projects, what are their service, what are their sports, what is their health, what is what are they good at? What are they learning? What do they want to be when they grow up? We have to take our previous dreams from our childhood out of the equation. It cannot exist there. It has to be fully understanding that God created our child, and he has a purpose that is unique to them. Yes, for their generation. And it’s an exciting journey to help our kids learn and lead them in figuring out what those purposes are now and when they’re in their teens and when they’re young adults and when they’re older, as we guide them in God’s truth and back to him over and over and over again.

Amen. And if one of your things is parenting, join us in January for the Parenting Mentor program because you have to make real investments, real change to create change, and I promise you it will. So thanks so much

For joining us, everybody. See you next time. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. For more resources, go to courageous parenting and courageous mom for free online workshops, blog posts and best selling courses. Also, we wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program. Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, we release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

This is an incredible, self-paced program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s a supportive community. You’ll have access to our private online group, live webcasts and the courageous parenting text message line where and I can send you weekly encouragement straight to your phone

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentor program. Secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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