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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous.

Mom and Isaac from Resolute Man Together pursuing the mission to impact 10 million families and their legacies for the Kingdom of God.

We’ve been married for 23 years and are seeing the fruit from raising our nine children biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children, as too many from Christian families are walking away from their faith by the age of 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

We’re praising the Lord. That ministry continues to expand and impact more legacies. We couldn’t do this without you. Whether you pray for us, give us five star reviews, or share on social.

Or even if you purchase courses and merch or join the Be Courageous app community, enjoy the coffee or support financially. We’re so thankful you are a big part of the 10 Million Legacies movement.

If you want access to all the episodes, show notes, and other biblically based resources, go to Be Courageous Ministry.

Org. Join us as we start another important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world. Welcome to the show. We’re so glad you’re here today. We’re talking about protect your family culture. So important.

You know, our top two ever podcast episodes are the first two which are on this topic of family culture. So we thought we would dive into it because right now there’s a need for people to understand that they have to proactively protect their family culture.

Yeah. And those were more about how to establish and identify and create your culture. This one is about really how to protect it. And it’s so important, more important than ever before. I don’t think previous generations in modern times at least, had to protect their culture at the lengths that we believe parents need to do today.

So, or maybe they should have been. That could be partially why we’re in the predicament we’re in today, right?

I know we were pretty odd, you know, 20 years ago in making the decisions we were doing, because it was kind of like the threats weren’t as overt. They were there, but they weren’t as seen.

Yeah, that’s for sure. Okay, guys. So thank you so much for joining us today. We just wanted to remind you of a couple things. One, we have something awesome going on in the app. I’ve been really enjoying the Fridays, which have been in the Courageous Mom group inside the Be Courageous app. I’ve been leading these heart of the home episodes or sessions, if you will, and the lives are about 45 minutes to an hour and 15 minutes depending. It’s been a fun time because I do Q&A in there as well. So if you’re interested in joining us, you can actually try out the app for free for a week and you can take advantage. You can even listen to all five of the first five sessions if you want. I mean, that would be bingeing for sure, but you’re welcome to do that. And we just want to make sure you know about that.

Yeah, absolutely. And thanks for being part of the 10 Million Legacies movement. All show notes, resources and so forth for the podcast are at Courageous Parenting.com and for the entire ministry at Be Courageous Ministry. Org. Also, the Resilient Man podcast is getting some steam. There’s some really incredible interviews coming down the pike here. Shot one yesterday. One more Friday. I am so excited about it. So gents head over there to. That’s right.

So also something that’s coming up. Be on the lookout. We’ve got homeschooling conference season coming up, and I’m super excited to be jumping on a plane and heading to Texas in April and in May. And so you’ll be we’ll be putting out more information when it gets closer. But I hope for those of you who are living in that area, you can you can connect with me there. That would be awesome.

So good. Well, let’s dive in to protecting your family culture. This is so important. And you know, we’ve often said things like, you know, you never want to, uh, you know, sacrifice your family for the sake of other relationships. But the goal is always to have good relationships. So how do we get both of those accomplished? And sometimes both can’t be. And what has to give? Well, you’re not going to sacrifice your family.

Um, it was interesting. Isaac and I were just talking about this. This as the concept of the cost of discipleship. Right. And when you have your jurisdictions right, and you actually do believe the truth, that there are seasons in your life and understanding that when your children live with you in your home, 95% of the the time you’re actually going to get with your child, you’re going to get with them before they turn age 18. So if you’re going to disciple them, you need to do it as much as possible when they’re living with you. So that really is your discipleship era with your family, right? Right. And so there’s a cost of other you can’t be best friends with 100 people, you know what I mean? Like, there’s a cost. You maybe have a few close confidant friends that can you guys can really minister to one another. But truly, it’s a season.

It is a.

Season. It’s a season. So today we’re talking about this awesome season of protecting your family culture while your kids are still living at home. Absolutely.

So we have four tips for you on this. And the first one is to embrace your calling. And I think that everybody’s like, yeah, of course I’m working hard. You know, we’re working hard over here. Yeah, I get it. But fully embrace your calling to protect your, your your children, to protect your legacy, to protect the culture of your home. And here’s a scripture for you in Deuteronomy six, uh, it says that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son, your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments with which I sorry, which I command you all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. And then it goes on to say, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise, and then it says, nine you shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates. You know, we’ve shared this scripture a few times before. You know the Scripture probably it really is a mandate to do what we’re talking about here.

Yeah, it is. I mean, we’ve used this scripture in context of a lot of things because it’s really there’s a lot there. But but doesn’t it just leave you first and foremost, foundationally going, God has called me because I. Believe in the Lord because I’m saved. I want my kids to know the Lord. And you think of verses like as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, right? Like what is the foundation of your family culture built on? And if it’s built on the cornerstone of Christ, if it’s built on the chief cornerstone, then there’s going to be a focus on the word, on the Lord’s commandments, right? Yeah. And it’s going to be something you’re going to passionately want your children and your children’s children to know and understand. So when we understand that this is something that God has called us to, when he chose us to be parents, he called us to rise up and go, okay, I’m in charge of the discipleship of these little people. Like, I get it, I understand the responsibility and I’m not going to shy away from that. But sometimes it can be hard in the midst of living in a fallen world to when you have this desire to have this strong, biblically based family culture, right? Where when someone offends another person, they forgive each other and they are reconciled when, um, there’s this pursuit of living a holy life, this pursuit of holiness, or the pursuit of living righteously. Right. Like there’s a pursuit there. And it’s something that you you want to live because you want to be more like Christ, right? To be a light to the world and to glorify him. You want all these things, but in the midst of living in a fallen world, you get tugged, you get tempted, your kids get tugged and tempted, and it can be hard for parents to stand firm, right?

Sometimes there’s this feeling of, you may not feel this, I don’t know, but it might be happening where there’s a little bit of wishy washiness where you stand for some principle, but then because it’s extended family or something like that, or pressure, there’s pressure on you and there’s situations you lax on that principle. Uh, maybe you’ve even communicated this principle to your children, and then you’re over there and you’re relaxed about it. And I just want to encourage you to be courageous, because it takes courage to equip confident Christian kids for a future world that’s different than they’re going to be launching into. It takes doing the right things, the hard things now, and that is embracing your calling. Part of your calling is that protector is that, you know, making sure that you’re not wishy washy, making sure that you have sound biblical principles that your parenting your children on, you’re making decisions based on you get in marriage alignment, and you execute those and you don’t get wishy washy because there’s pressure on you.

Yeah, it’s protecting family. Culture is a big thing. And if you’re not consistent, you can confuse your kids, especially if you haven’t shared the why. So I think that a huge part of like any anything that you would necessarily have as family rules or family expectations or even, um, you know, things you don’t do, I want to think about things you don’t do that maybe are protective of the family culture or protective of your children physically right, or protective of your children’s spiritually. Um, you may have certain, um, things that are like, we don’t do this in our family. Right? And the truth is, is if you don’t explain it and communicate clearly to your kids, especially once they start getting to be big kids and and tweens and teens, right? Yeah. They need to know the why. Otherwise, if you don’t teach them the why behind it, you’re likely to get asked over and over and over again, which would be potentially disrespectful also. So that would need to be a conversation with your kids. But if you are also showing them respect and teaching them the biblical why behind why you have such a strong conviction on, I don’t know what’s something we have a conviction on. Oh no sleepovers. Right. Like for for kids that are under adult age and like we don’t we don’t do that. Right. And so it’s it’s just one of those things where it’s always been a thing, and it’s not something that our kids ask us about because we stood firm in it. But we also taught them all the reasons why we choose that so that they could logically think about it and go, oh yeah, that makes sense. And so it I just want to encourage you guys that whatever the things are that you do, do or don’t do, there’s going to be a tug and there’s going to be parental peer pressure, peer pressure from your kids, friends to them to maybe participate in things that they know. You know what, we just don’t do that.

And one of you in the marriage relationship might start getting a little relaxed on something. Once you feel that pressure and you start, might rethinking it. And then the question is, do you go back to the Bible to discover if that’s a conviction, you should hold on. And the Bible doesn’t speak to every specific thing, but it does speak to godliness, right? And as we’re reading and we’re speaking and we’re and we’re saturating our minds with godliness, is that what we need to renew our mind to stay the course? And I think sometimes because we’re not in our Bibles, we start to veer a little bit and get a little wishy washy. You know, in Romans 12 two it says, do not be conformed to. This world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God and what is good and acceptable and perfect, and what’s good and acceptable and perfect is going to be unpopular in this world.

Yeah, that’s true, and I love that. It also says that you may be able to discern, because that’s part of a parent’s, um, role in embracing this calling to protect the family culture. I mean, ultimately, we, you know, in the other podcast episodes where we talk about family culture that is more about establishing family culture and it being established on the rock. And what does that look like and, and how you, as an individual need to understand that it’s important that you are going to God and you are seeking his face and asking for him to reveal what his will is for you and your family. And while every family may have a slightly different little wordage of mission or vision or different seasons in life, the role of the parents is to be going to God as their head and understanding that he has called us to rise up and take responsibility to really step into that responsibility, unapologetically, actually. And it’s interesting because we’re in a day and age where even state to state, we see parental rights being abused, um, by the government, right, or by the medical profession, which is government, you know, all fingered through there. And so I, I bring this up because there is a need for us as parents and for you as parents to be encouraged in the word, to understand, no, no, don’t listen to the lies of the government or that the doctor might be saying to you, you have the right to actually say, nope, we’re not going to vaccinate our child, or nope, we’re not going to put the teenager with acne and cramps on birth control. You can say no.

Hey, I look at all this stuff as a spiritual battle, right? The enemy’s trying to infiltrate the family. Destroy the family. That’s how the world can be changed. And the global reset, which I believe is orchestrated by evil. And all of these things really come down to all these small things to erode away a rodaway parental authority, a rodaway confidence in God erode away and capture and ensnare the next generation into sin and all of these things. And you know, are you going to go to battle? Are you going to wield your sword? Or are you the kind of soldier that you know, wakes up and thinks they’re going to battle every day and leaves their sword in the cupboard back in the closet? Yeah. You know, or do you actually are you actually battling because you’re actually using your weapon, which is the word of God, which is prayer, which is worshiping our Lord and drawing close to him so we can hear from him. These are our tools that we have to stand up and to not go wayward on even the smallest things, so that we can protect and preserve and then equip our children. And they look at us as the most important teachers in their lives, because we’ve not allowed wayward philosophies to entice them. So they develop itching ears to glean wisdom from wrong thinking.

Yeah, I mean, this even just reminds me of the podcast episode that we did on. Do not allow other people to confuse your children with wayward philosophies, which is a biblical concept. You can look that up in the New Testament as well. But you know, the last scripture that we want to share with you for this specific point, which is point one, embrace your calling is actually in Genesis 18 verse 19. Before I read that verse, I want to remind you, this is the chapter where the Lord comes to Abraham, and he’s telling him, while he and Sarah and their old age, he tells him, I’m going to return in about a year’s time, and Sarah will have a son. And she overhears. And so she laughs. And there’s a whole thing that happens here. And then you get to verse 19 and it says, for I have chosen him. So this is God, okay, talking about Abraham, for I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring Abraham what he has promised him, and then just continues on the very next verse he already goes into. Then the Lord said, because the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and their sin is very grave. So we know where the next part of the story goes. And this is such an encouraging verse, because though he’s speaking specifically about the father of the holy nation, right, Abraham? Um, and what a responsibility. Can you imagine if you think parenting one, two, five, eight kids is a big responsibility? Think of how Abraham felt knowing that he was going to be the father of nations, believing God’s promise. That’s huge.

Yeah, but here he is. God brings it down to the nitty gritty where the legacy begins. And this is what is so powerful in. My mind is that he goes, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice. That’s where it begins. That’s where the legacy of faith begins, is with Isaac and then his grandkids. And that is you guys like that is the foundation. Like we as parents need to understand that if we have children, they are a gift from God. We know that from Psalm 127, behold, children are a reward, the fruit of the womb, a reward. This is a gift from God. When we’ve been given a gift from God, we’re to steward that gift well. We’re to raise it, step into our calling, be responsible. And he tells Abraham and gives us an example here as what is the most important you’re going to. Yeah. Command your children and your household after you to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice. That’s huge. That’s family culture. That’s. What are you doing is family culture when no one’s looking, living in righteousness, it’s all the things that other people don’t see. The waywardness of the heart. Like, is there righteousness? Yeah. That’s huge. And then justice is the actions and the doing that affect other people. And then he goes into Sodom and Gomorrah, which we know the story. We know what God does, his his story. And there’s an element there of wanting to preserve this seed and knowing that there’s a neighboring town that is corrupt and defiled and like so as parents like that goes into our next point, which is influences like protecting your family culture from influences.

So we’ll talk about that in just a moment. But I want to just take a moment and talk about the Parenting Mentor program. You know how cool it would be if Angie could sit down with the moms out there? Oh, I love it. And just, you know, answer any questions and then give, like, the exact like, here’s I thought all about this and here’s exactly what not to do and how to think about it. And the scriptures in this season of parenting and that season of parenting, regarding getting to their hearts, regarding obedience, regarding discipleship, regarding the courage that’s needed to equip your kids today and and the theology of parenting and so forth, all of these things. Imagine if you could do that, and if you both had the time to actually sit together for coffee with both of us and you bought. Yeah. And both both of us. And let’s say you bought us coffee, so it costs you like seven bucks, but you did that every day for 45 days. Wouldn’t that be cool? That’d be fun. We can’t do that. And you probably don’t have the time to drive to a coffee shop every single day and do that either. So we did something better where we created the Parenting Mentor program. The reason is, is because there’s a lack of Titus, two mentors in society today that are willing to invest in other people and are even qualified.

They might have the age, but a lot of people just aren’t qualified because they don’t have the fruit in their lives that you would want at Emily, in your children and your marriage and so forth. And so we really we experienced that. And I believe it’s gotten even worse. We hear it’s gotten even worse. And so but we need those things. And the most important area is that we need mentoring are marriage, parenting and home things. And so it’s so important that we get that. So that’s why we put together. That’s why we put this parenting mentor program together, because it’s recorded sessions in a curriculum that builds to really get a foundation that’s incredible and biblically based. So you know how to navigate parenting in these times from a biblical perspective, while also getting the lives and being able to get your questions answered in the community and so forth. And so that’s why we put this together. It’s a mix of both, but we can all be in our own homes, do it in our own timing because it is self-paced and have that freedom. And it costs a little less than $7 a day for 45 days, and you have it forever. Yeah.

Yeah. That’s amazing. So we’ve really enjoyed being able to do this for the last five years. Can you believe it? Yeah, five years. We’ve had thousands of parents go through and we love hearing the testimonies and different things, but we wanted to invite you to find out more about it by going to Courageous Parenting.com. There’s a video there you can watch and a whole bunch of information. So all.

Right, back into Dive.

In. So obviously, you know, influences are probably one of the biggest I don’t know if you would call it a threat to family culture, but let me just start off with listing the four that we kind of brainstormed. Right. So here’s the biggest one society. Society and its culture and its tolerance of sin and its overt indoctrination of the next generation of sin and persuasion of trying things. And, well, how do you know you’re not this way unless you’ve tried it? There’s just so much, um, persuasive manipulation. And I think of influences, right. Because obviously like the school system, if there’s teachers that are teaching this or coaches that are are teaching this stuff, that is an influence on the children of the next generation. Right? And then those children are growing up in the same generation. Your children are growing up, and then eventually they’re going to be potential co-workers, peers, what have you. And they’re I mean, that’s peer influences, which would be another one that we talked about. Um, what are some other obvious ones? There’s media. Obviously, media is a big deal. Kids are getting phones and access to media at a younger age than ever before. And it’s not just social media, although that is a really big impact on kids and influencing them. But also there’s the cartoons and all the hidden messages in these movies and even.

Even the things you take your children to that are have the Christian title in them. You just need to be as intentional and diligent as anywhere else, actually. Right?

Like you can’t trust. I’m just gonna say something really bold here. And some of you, I get that you probably love your homeschool co-op, but, I mean, I’ve been a part of homeschool co-ops that I’ve loved. But let me just tell you this just because something says homeschool on it or just because something says Christian on it, does not mean that the kids that are in there are living righteously. And you can just put your stamp stamp of approval on it and endorse it and say, hey, be best friends with these kids. Hey, listen to whatever the teacher is telling. You know, I have been homeschooling for 20 years. You guys and I see a even bigger movement now towards charter schools, hybrid schools, um, delegation of of different aspects of schooling. And I love it. I love that there is opportunities for kids to be able to connect with other kids and learn things that maybe they wouldn’t otherwise learn. That aspect of it can be good, but as a parent, if you are going to be embracing your biblical calling to be the protector of of the gatekeeper, of your home, of ideas, because ideas influence the family culture, then you need to be crazy involved and know what your kids are learning, and know your kids friends and know your kids friends parents. And if you can’t do that, then maybe you shouldn’t have them in that co-op.

I’m just going to say that because there are things like, if your kids are living a secretive life where they’re not fully themselves with their friends, or they’re not the same way with their friends, that they are with you, there’s a big problem. And this is something that I see a lot. Oh yeah, in fact, we’ve had conversations with our teenagers and about this and they’re like, oh yeah, most kids are like, they talk differently even when their parents aren’t around. And then we just flat out asked him, remember I asked all the kids, I was like, you, do you guys talk different than you talk when you’re around us? And they’re like, no, you guys know how we talk. And and we were all like laughing about it. But then they were giving examples and I was shocked. Like literally even the vocabulary is different with some of these kids. And their parents have no clue because their kid is living a secretive life. And a lot of it is largely on their phone, and the parents have no idea what is going on. And sin is taking root, and it’s going to affect their character and who they are as a person. And I it infests a family culture. So dangerous. Yeah.

And remember, if if you’re older, children are getting infected like this by the world and you don’t know it, that is going to lead the younger children in the wrong direction. So you really have to work hardest actually, with your oldest, whoever your oldest two are, you need to work the hardest with them, um, work hard with all the kids. But in terms of helping them understand their influence, helping them understand their leadership, helping them have a vision for their relationships with their younger siblings and how important that is, making sure they’re not part of too many things that are age segregated. So they become people that only want to spend time with their own age. Influences. Perhaps the most important influences are your oldest children, actually, because they are paving away and those younger children look up to them so much. Talk about powerful peer influences. If you think peer influences are powerful out there, well, big sibling, big sibling, peer influence is the massive influence, right? And so you have to make sure you’re getting that right. And if they are doing something that is influencing your family culture wrong, you need to be on it. You need to be handling it. You need to be long conversations, going to scripture, praying together. And it’s not just giving. It’s not just being tough with them. That’s not what we’re saying. We’re saying, well, how can.

You be caring about how can you.

Get to their hearts and have those deep heart conversations get the go heart deep download from being on our email list? It’s crucial. Plus, you want to be on our email. Anyways, in case we get canceled on Big Tech, then we can still communicate with each other, right? So make sure you do that at Be Courageous Ministry. Org. It’s super easy or links in our social.

So the next verse we want to share with you guys is actually in regards to these influences. When I share this verse with you, it’s in first Timothy six verse three through five. It says, if anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ, so anybody who’s teaching a different doctrine, anyone who doesn’t agree with the sound doctrine of Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness. He is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. Nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for a whole list of things. You ready for controversy and for quarrels about words which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and depraved in truth. Imagining that godliness is a means of gain and it just continues on. You guys listen. This is the deal. If anyone teaches a different doctrine and it can be like, look at all the fruit that comes from teaching a different doctrine. This is all bad fruit. This is not stuff we want in our family culture, right? Dissension, division, slander, evil suspicions, quarrels. Nobody here would be raising their hand saying, no, I want that part of my family culture. No. Rather, we need to be protectors, making sure that the influences are actually in agreement with the things like teaching the same doctrine, teaching doctrines of sound wisdom from God’s Word that are about godliness and righteousness. There is something so special when your kids find a believer who is actually a true believer in Christ, and they can have those deep biblical conversations where they can nudge each other to be better, like like being, hey, hey, good job. You just shot a three pointer and you’ve never made that before. Like that’s encouraging versus what’s going on and being competitive in a negative kind of way and making fun of somebody.

Like, there’s a biblical way where it says build one another up. It doesn’t ever say point out each other’s faults and make fun of each other. No, no, no, no, no. Scripture doesn’t say that. It says to stir up good works in one another. Build one another up just as you are doing. Like to have friends where you know that when when you’re one of your kids is struggling with something, or maybe they’re down or they’re sad or or something’s going on, they have friends that get it, have experienced that, and can give them Bible verses and text messages to encourage them. Like that’s the kind of friendships and peer influences that we should be praying for, first of all. Secondly, helping our kids to cultivate. What’s one way you can help your kids cultivate friendships that are going to be solid like that? Hey, be open to practicing hospitality as often as possible. Be the place that your kids feel comfortable inviting their friends to come and hang out. And in that way, it’s also helpful for you to help your like younger kids. If they start doing that, you can start teaching them how to discern. Is this a friend I want to have as a close friend? Or maybe not right now? You know what I mean? And so there’s so many aspects to this. Also, I don’t want to neglect this, but family and friends like your family and friends, are they people who teach sound biblical doctrine founded on the Lord Jesus Christ? If they don’t, then you need to be discerning and careful about how puffed up you put that person as an influential person in your kid’s life.

And as your children get older, they’re going to have times where they’re not with you and they’re out with people, they’re at friends house, these kinds of things. You want to have the kind of conversations and relationship with them where they share with you the good and the not so good, and where they have a discerning as discernment about them of discerning what’s good and not so good, and playing those out and talking about situational, you know, how could you do it better next time? What could you say next time? How could you behave next time? These kinds of conversations only happen if you’re getting real Intel. If you’re having real deep communication and conversations with your children.

So, you know, we also want to share this next verse with you guys. It’s in first Corinthians chapter five, verse 11. Um, and this is, this is a hard verse for some people, but I think that we would be not fully doing this topic justice biblically if we did not bring this verse to light. I think a lot of Christians are unaware that God’s Word even talks about this. So, Isaac, go ahead and share it.

All right. You ready? Here we go. But now I’m writing to you, not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother. If he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or as an idolater, reviler a drunkard or a swindler, not even eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? That’s a question. It is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?

So yeah.

God judges those outside. Purge the evil person from among you. So this is talking about believers who are behaving in really ungodly ways. We’re not to spend time with them because they’re claiming Christ and doing these things deliberately. There’s a big difference of sin and then deliberate sin of consistently doing these things. And so the reason is it’s kind of like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. In terms of influence. Your children can be very confused by that because they’re claiming Christ.

It’s actually the most confusing. I would say the most dangerous would be someone who claims to be a Christian, but is living in ungodliness and sin and choosing to remain in it and not trying to grow and not trying to change. Right. And so I think that there’s a distinction to be made when someone has like the heart of repentance and they’re confessing sin and they’re moving towards godliness, that’s very different. Um, but the point here is that as parents, we have to again go back to number one, embrace our calling and understand that this is something that we have to be aware of. We cannot just drop our kids off at youth group or Sunday school and and have our kids fellowshipping and be learning from someone, if that someone who’s teaching that class or even a worship leader, like I don’t know how many like I just it makes me sick to my stomach to think that there could be people that are on stage leading worship or in Sunday school classrooms teaching little children and discipling them, quote unquote. But. Five days out of the week. They’re living in deliberate sin that they know God’s Word says not to do right. And so that’s where we as parents, this is why it’s important that we have to take responsibility and get to know the people that are potentially influencing our kids.

Yeah, it’s a big deal. So let’s talk about correcting sin within family. Matthew 1815 through 17. You might want to mark this down. Very helpful scripture. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take 1 or 2 others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of 2 or 3 witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. So the point is, there is a process for reconciliation. There’s a process for correcting and correction happening. And so the first step and we teach our children this, unless it’s something egregious that we need to know about, if it’s just the normal didn’t share things like that. They’re they’re instructed to talk to their brother first, talk to their sister first and try and fix that before just immediately yelling, mommy, mommy, right, right, right.

I think that this is an important thing that kids need to learn, because obviously this scripture is even talking about brothers and sisters in Christ. And like the functioning of the family of God and the body of Christ. Right. And so but where do people, adults who, you know, and even teens and, and children, how do people figure out how to operate within the body of Christ when there’s conflict, if they didn’t learn it first in their family? You see, the family is really God’s way of preparing and equipping children who are going to grow up and be brothers and sisters in Christ, Lord willing. Right. And so this, this ministry of reconciliation, which in another part of Corinthians, it talks about how God has given each of us the ministry of reconciliation. If we are saved in Jesus Christ, that is part of our ministry, just like the Great Commission is the ministry. In fact, those two go hand in hand because it’s really talking about reconciliation with God, which is coming to salvation, right? Yeah. And so there’s this, this, this is a huge part of family culture is this concept of correcting sin within family and in family relationships, but also discerning sin outside teaching your children how to discern, um, what is going on and if something is a healthy person, a healthy friend to be hanging out with, or if someone’s going to be leading them astray, um, there’s this need for us to even give our kids a bigger vision and go, hey, we got to get it right first here in our family before we’re able to do it well with other people. And and this is God’s design. Like, this is the image bearing of the family to the family of God. Right. And so this can really be an equipping time. Yeah. And we’re going to share another verse with you in second Timothy chapter three, verse 16 and 17.

Um, second Timothy three, verse 16 and 17, all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training and righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. Yeah.

So obviously, like if you guys are in this place where you’re thinking, man, it’s just so hard, like, how do I confront the sister in Christ whose kid is struggling? Like, I really like this family, but that child is really hard for my kids to play with. Or they’re a bad example or they’re a bad influence. How many of you guys felt that, like, God’s Word gives you all the wisdom that you need? And James, it says to seek God and search for all wisdom, and he will give it without a reproof. Right? But we have to ask God without doubting, and ask him to give us wisdom as we’re navigating relationships. But relationships really are the foundational. Like, if I was to think of like, what is the biggest thing that can affect family culture? It’s relationships. Yeah. Within the family, within sibling relationships, within the marriage, obviously, that our relationship makes a huge impact on family culture. But then relationships with other people, right. Extended family. So this is this.

Is where you have to be courageous because you might have to correct something with an extended family member. You have to talk about something that’s happening at their house that isn’t appropriate, like the TV always being on or whatever it is, uh, because you don’t want your children to see the commercials on these things if you do it in a loving way. A lot of times that’s going to go really well. You’d be surprised how well it goes, actually, if you are coming across in a loving but truthful way, I think that’s really important. I have to share this verse in Jude. I’m the one adding an extra verse this time. Look at you. Look at that. Okay, I just found it so, so important. It’s the book right before revelation, if you weren’t sure. And it says right here, it says beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. Here’s the warning. For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this. Condemnation, ungodly people who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only master and Lord Jesus Christ. Now it’s giving a big warning that within the body of Christ there, snuck in there, snuck in, that are wayward, that are literally calling themselves believers and deliberately sinning in all kinds of ways.

I would say this is the progressive church.

This is the progressive church.

Yeah. I mean, there are many, but I see that within the it seeps in those ideologies, those teachings slowly attack many churches of all different denominations.

And this was happening back then. It’s happening now. It’s it’s a problem that’s always going to happen until Jesus returns. But we have a responsibility. But, you know, just think of instead of the church for a second. Think of your home. Is is there anything being crept into your home, whether physically, in your home or through your home, through influences to your children that then come into your home? So it’s really important to think about that.

You know, it’s interesting in Jude later on it says, but have mercy with those who doubt. And it continues on about like saving the one. And yeah, and I just want to bring that up because, you know, in the midst of this hard conversation that we’ve been having, um, a lot of parents might be thinking, well, what about the kid who’s doubting that there’s potentially going to is that infectious and going to make my other kids doubt? Let me just say something. So doubting not all kids have to experience that. First of all, um, but I think wrestling with your faith to make it your own like that is something that most people experience when they’re in the process of trying to truly understand truth and the gospel and the Lord. And so here’s the thing you cannot sweep it underneath the covers. You have to dig in with that kid more than anything and have mercy with them, which is what God’s Word is actually telling us in Jude and in the process, be praying with the other kids for that kid, because I’m sure that they likely hear the conversation. I just remember having one car ride many years ago where one of the kids, out of nowhere after a church service, what he we said, how was church today? And then that kid got brave enough to in front of all the siblings. I think we had seven at the time. He started crying and he just said, I’m really struggling with doubting some things. And he was honest and we as a family fully prayed for him. And now I look at where that kid is now, so strong. You know, I was very strong.

I was very thankful for that moment because he was actually leading something really good, which is vulnerability, which is openness, which is feeling comfortable in our family culture to be honest and share and to know that we’re going to love him no matter what and.

And walk with him through.

The only way a kid would share that is if he felt those things. And you have to be proactive to make sure your children feel those things. I was not concerned that that would be a negative thing on the rest of the children because, um, this is a normal thing and it’s a normal thing to wrestle with these things. And it was sincere. It wasn’t, uh, the kind of thing where he was trying to do anything. It was just sincere.

No, I love that you said that. I think that, you know, the fourth tip that we had for you guys, um, as far as protecting your family, is to disciple your children, obviously. And walking them through those conversations is part of the discipleship process, right? Like, um, and praying for them, teaching them how to pray, reading, letting the word be the light to your path as a family, being the foundation, reading the Bible with your kids on a regular basis. Um, because when your kids love Jesus, they’ll also want to live in a way that shows their love for Jesus, and they’ll understand how important it is that they’re they’re aware that there are lost people who don’t have the Lord. And that’ll be like something that really grips them where they want more people to know the Lord because they love him and they they want to see them have eternal life. Right. I think a.

Big part of discipleship, too, as they get older is hot button issues. What does the Bible say? Uh, regarding the abortion issue, what does the Bible say regarding gender? What does the Bible say regarding marriage? What does the Bible say regarding creation.

I.

Nation yeah, you know, all of these borders of nations, you know, what are what is all of these things. And it’s so important, I think, as we disciple one of the I think ways that the enemy ensnares children is, is the children who are raised in really religious homes where there’s a feeling of there’s us versus them and, and and what I lead is an elitism. But I think what’s true is all people are God. You know, God created all people, God’s people. They’re God’s people. But God’s God’s chosen people, right? If you use those words, uh, which are in the Bible, uh, are the believers, right. And so but does that mean a non-believer can’t become a believer? Yeah, they become a believer. And I believe then they were the chosen. Right? So. It’s. It’s God’s.

The one who.

Knows God, the one he has this foreknowledge. Right? So of who’s going to choose him. So it’s really amazing to think that, wow, all these other people could come to know the Lord. So having a heart for the lost while protecting your children at the same time is important versus building a us versus them, uh, theology, which shouldn’t be the case. It’s not true. And having a love for people and and sharing the gospel and evangelism is crucial. Because if that’s not there, then it’s very easy for the enemy to use somebody to ensnare them. Well, that’s really unloving to this group of people to believe that. Well, no, I can believe in God’s truth and still. Love other people well, while not moving in my belief and.

Encouraging them to walk in truth. Right? Yeah. And to acknowledge sin and to repent. I mean, that’s a good, humble thing to do. But the reality is, there’s so much pride in today’s world that people have a hard time with that. I think, too, you know, today we talked about the importance of, um, with the oldest kid helping to set the culture right and like really digging in with them and things like that. I do want to warn parents, though, that sometimes when you’re doing that, there can be too much pressure and expectations that parents put on the oldest. And what I mean by that is sometimes when you are always saying that, well, you’re the oldest or you’re the oldest, be careful not to say that too much. Yeah. Um, I think that there is a truth that kids need to hear. A realization that God chose them for the birth order that they’re in. And you can unapologetically teach your kids God chose you to be the firstborn, or God chose you to be the firstborn son, or God chose you to be the like. Those are good. That’s part of who they are. Actually, just like being a Christian is part of who they are. Being a daughter or a son is part of who they are. And and I think that it’s good for people to own where God has positioned them, understanding that it also comes with responsibility. Just like God chose you to be a parent, and that comes with responsibility. And it can be a very good thing for them, because it can help prepare them and equip them for the role that they’re going to have later in life.

And so it is a good thing. But you can’t just say, well, you’re the oldest, so and leave it at that. It’s kind of like saying, do as I say. Why? Because I said so. You need to give them the why over and over again so that like they, they understand the why behind it and they’re actually led to have a strong identity in who they are in Christ. Um, but also at the same time, make sure that you offer your oldest the opportunity to express their doubts and their challenges. Because if you do give them that like standard of, hey, you’re really good influence on your older on your younger siblings. And I just really want to thank you for that. They also need to hear you say, but you know what you can always share with me? If you’re struggling with anything, or if you have any doubts, I don’t want you to feel like you have to have it all together all the time. And I just think that there’s something that could be so powerful. I know as a firstborn, I could have benefited from that. Right. Um, and I’m sure that our firstborn probably could have benefited from me saying that more often. But I was really focused on, like, parenting many, many kids. And and so that just as an older mom, that’s just a good reminder to you to take those times to also like, go, hey, you’re human. I get your human, like, share with me, I want to help you. Um, and yeah. Hey.

So good. This episode probably stirred up some emotion. Probably there might be an area that you’re like, we really need to be more courageous in this relationship and how we talk about things, and it’s going to bring up a marriage conversation. It probably needs to happen. And I would just I would just encourage you to pray first. Just pray about it and God will give you wisdom. We’re here to stir up. And hopefully the spirit uses this to stir up whatever needs to be stirred up in you. And and then you and your wife or husband get to make those decisions. And that’s the beauty of it. Because you have a unique family. God made you, the parents and your children who they are and put you all together. And it’s God’s design and it’s beautiful. And so I just want to encourage you, you do have to be courageous, but you’re not alone. You have a all powerful God right there to help you. Thanks for joining us. That’s right.

See you next time. Hey, thanks for listening. And being a part of the 10 Million Legacies movement, go to Be Courageous Ministry. Org, for more biblically based resources, ways to switch where you spend your money that support the mission and information about the incredible Be Courageous app community for believers.

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