Raising Strong Daughters, Not Feminists

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Episode Summary

Words matter, and some of them go beyond their dictionary meanings. Feminism is one that’s been corrupted into something completely unbiblical. It takes effort to raise strong daughters who embrace Biblical womanhood and refuse to succumb to the depravity of today’s feminist movement.

Today’s definition of feminism has gone wildly beyond the original meaning. We agree with the dictionary definition as I’m sure you do as well; “The advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.”

Just because the dictionary defines something, it doesn’t mean it lines up with the current culture’s definition that’s actually being lived out. Culture has transformed the definition into something completely corrupted we should want our daughters to steer clear of.

But if you don’t inform your kids the world will be happy to.

Many people say “If Jesus where here today, he would be a feminist”. We agree with that if it’s only what this dictionary definition says, however, equality doesn’t mean sameness.

So if you mean sameness between the sexes, Jesus wouldn’t agree with that. Also, Jesus wouldn’t be adding anything onto His identity, He’s the Christ and as believers, that’s what we are called to also.

It’s not a feminist movement that defined equality among the sexes, it’s a Christian principle that’s over 2,000 years old.



When we say it’s important to raise strong daughters, but not feminists, what we mean is God’s word is all we need. We don’t need to add on titles to us, we need God alone.

If believers know what’s in the Bible and obey it, they wouldn’t need to add titles onto their identity, like “I’m a feminist.”

We shouldn’t compartmentalize God into sections of someone’s life and leaving out pieces that don’t make us feel good. Making your own doctrine is a dangerous proposition.

As parents, we need to know the realities of what our kids are and will be dealing with today.

The Culture’s Definition of Feminism:

  • You might see a shirt that says “The Future is Female”, there is no future without both men and women being involved.
  • Feminism today is anti-male, Is this what God wants? Not at all
  • It involves the support of killing babies, 67 million babies have been killed in the US through abortion. As Christians, we must defend life.
  • It’s prideful and even hateful. Just look at a march and their spokespeople.
  • It’s honoring and applauding sin
  • There’s a disregard for a Biblical view of marriage
  • It includes the Self-love movement that goes beyond self-care driving forward pride and selfishness within.

If you are anti-male, you are nothing more than a separatist.

We should never want our daughters to side with feminism, even if they adhere to the dictionary definition because the perception of the title is corrupted, potentially inviting your daughter to embrace the bad parts over time.

There is a truth that there are women who have been and continue to be deeply hurt. There are men that treat women horribly. They have sinned in such vile ways, that many women have lost trust in all men.

But lumping all men into one category is completely unfair. Sin is not a man problem, sin is a humankind problem.

We must educate our boys and girls that men and women are equal in value but different, by God’s design.

Reinforce with your kids that how God made them is beautiful and it should be embraced.

We each have different gifts and talents and when we work together we glorify God more by showing the world His true image through marriage.

A lack of a Biblical view of marriage causes the destruction of the family God designed.

The Biblical definition of womanhood is incredible, read Proverbs 31.

The Self-love movement is dangerous and unfortunately, many Christian women are buying into it. We agree we should take care of ourselves for sure, our bodies are the holy temples for the purpose of doing God’s work. But this movement is turning women away from a Biblical approach to family encouraging selfishness, pride, and idolizing self.

Beware of Christians that are spurring on this movement of self-love.

We must be aware of how we are feeling and know when we are worn down. It’s vital to communicate with your spouse and help each other.

If we aren’t spending time in the word and growing, then what’s coming out of us? It’s Definitely less Godly. We have to be filling up to be able to pour out, but our identities should be in Christ.

How to Raise Strong Daughters

1. Raise Independent Thinkers

  • Prepared to stand against their peers if they are trying to lead them astray
  • They may fall to moral relativism if they aren’t independent thinkers
  • Equipping for an uncertain world, they need to be in the world while they are in your home.
  • There’s a silent movement with really conservative parents that their daughters don’t need to further their education. We believe that’s wrong if they have desires to go to college, for example, we should support it in the same way we would with our sons.
  • We definitely don’t believe everyone should go to college but it’s important to let God’s will happen for their life versus our will.
  • They should have a Biblical view of marriage and family but when they are younger, they should be able to pursue the passions God has put in their hearts. If we stifle the passions in their heart, we may hurt God’s best plan for them and the people he wants them to meet.
  • This is a challenge with fear-based parenting. We must support their futures while instilling the Biblical aspects of being a woman.

The stronger she is, the stronger of a man she will attract.

2. Create a Vision For Marriage and Motherhood

  • You want to raise strong, trustworthy, prudent, industrious, loving, supportive daughters equipped for an uncertain world.
  • Womanhood isn’t this docile weak thing. Having a gentle and quiet spirit doesn’t mean you are going to be weak for example.
  • It takes a strong woman to adhere to the Biblical principles of marriage and motherhood.
  • It takes self-control but you get the joy of seeing your husband and sons and brothers in Christ even in church rise up.
  • God has created different roles for men and women but equal in value.
  • The world hates the Biblical roles.
  • The challenging word for many women is submission.
  • The Bible says do not be unwise and do what the Bible says.
  • It takes a strong woman to be submissive because you have to be very secure in yourself, otherwise you will fight for power in your marriage.
  • Ultimately it takes being secure in Christ.
  • Model equality but not sameness in your marriage. We must obey God and model the Biblical roles outlined.
  • Do you want your daughters to be careful who they marry? If they understand and buy into God’s plan for their role, don’t you think they will be wiser in who they decide to marry?  Absolutely!
  • A secret for husbands. Be motivated to make sure your daughters are strong, smart, capable, humble, loving, Godly. Why? Because the stronger she is, the stronger of a man she will attract.
  • We teach our kids that you have to be, what you want

3. Make Sure They Are Biblically Strong

  • Your daughters have to be strong Biblically minded woman at their core to attract a strong Godly man.
  • We want them to be assertive, persuasive, experience communicating effectively with adults and others. There shouldn’t be any difference in wanting to train your girls this from your boys.
  • What is God equipping your daughters for, you don’t know, but perhaps she’s going to raise the next leaders that impact our world.
  • It’s vital our daughters have respect for men.
  • We must make it easy on our daughters in respecting men by our example.
  • Your goal should be that your kids surpass you, even better than you.
  • They need to have a conviction at their core of the Biblical view of womanhood.
  • Show your children how ungodly the feminist movement is so they choose on their own never to identify with it.
  • We want to be raising our daughters to have a strong identity in Christ so they don’t add on these other aspects.

Scriptures In This Episode

Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

1 Corinthians 1:10-13Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s household, that there are contentions among you. Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?”

Proverbs 31:10-31Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.”

Ephesians 5:17-26Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

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Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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