“Teaching Your Children About Sin”

icon-play Listen Now
Episode Summary

You aren’t discipling your children well if they rarely hear you address their sin.

It’s hard to understand the power of the gospel if our children don’t fully understand sin and its consequences. This episode will encourage you to slow down and have the needed deeper conversations with your children that lead to repentance and real forgiveness towards others too. We don’t want to launch prideful Christians who don’t share the gospel. We all want to launch children that have a significant appreciation for what Jesus did on the cross for them, and desire for others to be saved too. How you address sin in your home on an ongoing basis can make a real difference.

Main Points From This Episode:

  • Teach sin to your children so they understand the need for Jesus.
  • Warn your children about wayward teaching
  • Disciple your children in this area
  • Teach them that there are real consequences for sin. It affects other relationships in their lives too.
  • Don’t make common parenting mistakes of failing to talk about sin and correct it.

Scripture From This Episode:

  • Romans 3:23
  • 1 Corinthians 10:13
  • Romans 6:23
  • James 1:14-16
  • 1 John 1:9
  • Matthew 6:14-15
  • Acts 3:19
  • John 15:13

All Ministry Resources: becourageousministry.org

Social Media For Christians – BE COURAGEOUS app

  • Exclusive access to the courageous kid’s podcast. Play it for your kids to stir up good discussions.
  • Monthly LIVE Q&A with the Tolpins; ask the anything.
  • Powerful Biblically minded community.
  • Topic-based discussion groups.
  • You get your own profile and can connect with others.
  • Resources on marriage, parenting, homeschooling, pregnancy/birth, and more.

We look forward to engaging with you on the inside!


Relevant Resource Links:

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

  • Financial Giving, is important to support our family and expand the impact of the ministry. We aim to impact 10 million families and their legacies. We are in full-time ministry as a family of 9 at home, so everything makes a difference. 

Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 10 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom.

And I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married for 21 years and have seen the fruit from raising our eight kids biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from their faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting and the following. Hey, welcome to the podcast. Hi, guys. We’re so glad to be here. And this is wow, an important topic and I hope you realize how important it is, how much we believe it’s important. We’re excited about.

It. Oh, man, you guys, I’m I’m like, fired up. I was just telling Isaac, imagine how many souls could actually experience regeneration in Christ because of this specific podcast.

Meaning the changes parents make and what happens with their children.

And if kids really fully grasp and understand this, how it could affect how they treat other people, how they explain the gospel to other people, how many other people could potentially get touched by their lives, It’s like blows my mind to even think about the exponential growth. It’s just exciting.

It is. We’ll dive into it, but we so appreciate you all. Do you know that our family met recently? Angie and I, we had a great date night and we really evaluated this next year, obviously for a family. We did that personally. But then Angie and I also did it with with the ministry. And we’re so excited about this year. I think God, we think God’s going to do some really wonderful things and we just appreciate you being along the road like really amazing things. Already this year, the podcast is doing better than ever. Last year it grew 23%. It appears to be up by that much already this year at least. And we’re just so encouraged right now on Apple, it’s like rated number 150 out of all podcasts labeled religion and spirituality, which is beyond just the Christian category. It’s a big, big, huge category. So that’s incredible. We’re just honored to steward this and we’re committed and I would say as energized as ever and maybe more in some ways, because there’s so much that can happen this year and we have some exciting new things. We’re going to be writing more this year. We’re excited about that.

This is a year for content, so we’re very excited. Hopefully you are blessed, exhorted, encouraged all the things by it. Yeah, but let’s talk about what today’s topic is.

I11 thing I have to say though you courageous ministry dot org that’s where you find everything and we appreciate your support, prayer, giving, buying things all that helps us to be able to do this. And with the Lord’s.

Hand, can I say that we say this in every podcast, but you like if you haven’t been to be courageous ministry dot org and like taken advantage of the Cliff notes, if you will scripture references for the podcast today is going to be a day that you are going to want to go and get those scripture references. If you do not have a pen and paper or your phone nearby where you can jot down the verses that we’re going to go over today. Because what we’re talking about is teaching the consequences of sin to your children.

Yep, we got.

A digging.

In eight scripture references, so we better start or.

It’ll never end. I mean, this is a huge topic. I’m going to probably say this a couple other times. This is a huge topic. We’re obviously not going to be able to share all of the scriptures that we want to share. The Bible is chocked full with hundreds of scriptures regarding sin, forgiveness, relationship with Christ. What man’s responsibility is. All these things is just so rich, full of encouragement. We have handpicked eight scriptures we’re going to share with you guys today. But if you are wanting if you really love today’s podcast and you’re like hungry for more encouragement and teaching your kids about sin, the consequences of sin relationship, discipling your children, that’s why we have the courageous Parenting Mentor program, and we have a whole section where we are dedicated to teaching you how to teach your kids about this. But let’s start out with Romans 323. This is a scripture that goes straight to the heart. It says, for there is no distinction. What there is no distinction, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by His grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a citation by His blood to be received by faith. And it just continues on. This was God’s, this, this was to show God’s righteousness, because in His divine forbearance, he had passed over former sins.

You know, it’s interesting, cool, all fall short. That Scripture was really important in my conversion. Of course, many were mere Christianity, different books, reading the Bible. But one of the things I remember because of interesting perspective, maybe some of you have this too, is I became a believer when I was 23. So my first 23 years were as a non believer in Jesus, a non believer in God. Right? So what does that mean then? Well, I remember I remember feeling like I was a pretty good person. I remember pointing to other really good people out in society and going, Well, they’re not Christians. You’re telling me they’re going to hell? And that was a big problem for me. And so I just really coming to grips with my own I’m going to use the word depravity. We do have depravity. People are fallen. And we we do believe we can we can choose God through faith. And that’s important. But I just remember that. And we don’t want our kids to misunderstand the power of God because they misunderstand. They they think of themselves too highly and don’t understand what sin is.

And just even reminds me of Scripture that warns us not to be haughty in our own eyes and to think of ourselves more than we ought to. And you know, which that’s not one of the scriptures we’re going over today. But as we’re talking, I’m sure there will be many different scriptures that kind of pop into our head about different things. But let’s talk about the very first topic here, which is why teach your kids about sin? And the reason why we’re bringing this up is because what there are there are different people out there that are giving parenting advice, different parenting philosophies, way word teaching, if you will, false teaching, false doctrine, things that are anti biblical, that are extra biblical. But actually you’re when you go even farther into them, you realize that they’re anti biblical. You need to steer clear of those. And one of those things is anyone who is teaching that kids don’t sin or that sin doesn’t exist can I mean, this should be like an obvious thing to all believers. And I get pretty fired up that when people claim to be Christian and they believe this, it’s like an oxymoron in my head. I just don’t understand. It’s a paradox. How could you possibly because our sin and our depravity, like Isaac was talking about for all, have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, for there is no distinction. We literally just read that in Romans 323. We all have sinned and that means our children have sinned. Also, there is no distinction. Remember, it said that for all have sinned, there are other scriptures in the Old Testament that talk about children having folly bound up in the heart of a child, different things like that. And we need to understand that our sin has consequences, right? We need to teach our kids about those things. But at the same time, like this is actually a highlighted thing because this is why we even need a savior.

Yeah, if you don’t understand that sin is real and that we sin, then we don’t need a savior. The power of the grace of God is made clear to people that understand our condition, and we don’t. What’s amazing, because Jesus died on the cross, is that it’s wiped clean. We’re saints. But that’s special. When you understand what is being wiped clean, it’s so important. I think, that there’s a lot of missed opportunities with parents and children of helping them understand how amazing what God did for us is and how we need that. Every day. We need to be reminded.

And you said we, which I think is this is an important thing that we need to recognize as parents. We also need forgiveness from our savior and for our kids to see us in that humble posture, confessing sin in front of them, apologizing when we screw up. We’ve talked about this in so many other podcasts, you guys, how important it is because kids can sniff out hypocrisy a mile away and they will have a hard time obeying you, which is what God commands them to do if you’re walking in hypocrisy. And so we need to obey God’s word and we need to acknowledge our sins and ask for forgiveness when we need to apologize to someone. And our kids need to witness that. They need to see an example that’s part of discipleship is being an example and walking with your kids and letting them see those things and letting them hear those things. Letting them hear Mom and.


Say, I’m sorry.

It’s like a real spiritual home. Is your home a spiritual home where you’re walking out your faith and you’re living in transparently in your family and you’re confessing to one another in your family and you’re asking for prayer over struggles and these kinds of things. And of course, you’re the parents. And so, you know, your children need to respect you and so forth. But I wouldn’t fear losing respect because you’re vulnerable with your kids. In fact, what’s always shown is you gain that and it’s really an important thing to have that transparency. So discipling your kids, you know, is you can’t disciple them if you’re not helping them understand on an ongoing basis the power of God. You know, there’s no power in God if he’s not wiping something clean.

Well, and on this topic of discipleship, which we’re going to kind of dig into this a little bit more because in the Courageous Parenting podcast, we’re all about equipping parents to be able to equip their kids to be confident, courageous kids for an uncertain world. Right. We want to encourage you guys in your job that you’re doing in the Great Commission as you’re raising up the next generation to be on purpose for Christ, to love the Lord their God and to make him known, that is. One of the most collective great purposes we all have, and then also the Great Commission. Correct. But this is the thing. When you are in the midst of the Great Commission, sometimes people can get so zealous about wanting their kids to be bold and to have speaking abilities and all these things that are fantastic and so great, right? This ability to be able to communicate what they believe to other people, that sometimes in the midst of all of that, the most foundational teaching about sin and consequences, there are aspects of it that are sometimes taught and then aspects that I believe wholeheartedly. People omit or forget to actually really not just teach once, but make sure that their kids have a full understanding, not just knowledge of it.

Like not just knowing what the Bible says that, oh yeah, there’s consequences to sin is death. Oh, yeah, I get that. No, like, do your kids understand what consequences to Cinar? Do they understand that consequences to sin is going to affect their relationship with God? It is going to affect the relationship with other people. Hey, how about their relationship with themselves? Right? Like if they had determined not to do something and then they go against their own word to themselves, then they lose faith in themselves to be able to do it right, Like it literally has many different consequences. And this is what we really need to talk about, because this is the foundation which goes back to the first and second commandment that we’re going to get into. And we need to be equipping other parents to do this like discipleship. I even think of the we have a whole session in the Parenting Mentor program on title discipleship, right, where we take a closer look at how Jesus disciple the 12 disciples and how that actually is a blueprint for us as parents, as we’re discipling our kids. And it’s awesome.

So one of the little piece of this is that when we sin, what are we to do? We’re to ask forgiveness for other people. Like if it hurts somebody else, we’re to repent to God of what we did right? And how do we do that? We do that through prayer. And so one tip is to pray with your children, encourage them to pray and ask God for forgiveness. When you notice something, to talk to them to slow down and not just be frustrated with your child because they did something, but spend that time to point them to God and help them understand that we make mistakes and and and we’re in that Prayer can be so beautiful. How what happens to your children’s prayer life? To your prayer life when we start doing that with our kids on an ongoing basis? I could do that more, that’s for sure.

It’s huge. I also think that there’s an element about when you’re when you’re teaching your kids about sin and you’re teaching them about what Jesus did on the cross for them and that he can actually create reconciliation between them and God. Right? Because we talked about the rift and how it can affect the relationship with God. But then that right there is the the foreshadowing of the conversation about but Jesus died on the cross and he saved us and he became a bridge to bring us back into full relationship with God. And because we were an unholy, wretched people and he cleanses us and makes us righteous and like to be able, like every conversation sets you up for another conversation. And I get that sometimes people feel like maybe they’re not as educated in how to actually share the gospel, so they get nervous that they’re going to share it wrong. But can I just say open the Bible? Open the Bible, read the accounts of Jesus and point out to your kids this person was in sin and Jesus healed them. This person was in sin and he forgave them and they told them to forgive other people. And and like having those conversations with your kids, taking it the step farther and being and not just stopping and going, Yep, that’s sin. You know what I mean? Like, I really think that there’s this element of stopping.

And we also have to raise up our children, especially the boys. You have to is both. But the boys more visual, right? The age of rampant pornography and all these things, it’s really important that we’re raising our children to be disciplined in our thought life, to be disciplined in our actions, and to consider that and to love God so much that they want to obey him. And talking about that concept of loving just like they love you as parents, they want to please you. They want to. Hey, Mom, look at this. Hey, Dad, Look at this. That’s the concept of like, Wow, I love my parents and I want them to look at what I’ve done. Look at my Legos, look at this, look at this. And as they grow older, but they should be like, Oh, I want to please God. Right? And so that’s you pointing to this great, loving, great grace filled God towards them and helping them understand that and building a relationship with them. But what you don’t want is them to get older and start to deliberately sinning and believing there’s nothing they can do about it. And people get caught in that trap. They get addicted to pornography, they get addicted to substance abuse, they get addicted to different things. And they believe that, well, God forgives me and I’m just going to keep doing this because I can’t stop. And here is the truth. This scripture is a crucial scripture to understanding. The truth of this is first Corinthians 1013. Make sure you jot this down later, get it and teach it to your kids.

No temptation has overtaken you. That is not common to man. God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation. He will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. So if we’re walking strong with God, we will want to please God. We will not blame God or anybody else. We’ll have the discipline and God’s help to move away from sin. If we’re being tricked by the enemy, will embrace some kind of idea that it’s out of our control. And you don’t want your kids to go there. I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already. Is the date night one sheet? It is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date night to just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family. No matter what time of year, it’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to courageous parenting dot com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything at courageous parenting dot com. And I also just want to share real quick about the parenting mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self paced program with live engagement from us in even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it. You can find out more at courageous parenting dot com.

Steve and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children.

What Angie and Isaac have done in creating this is literally phenomenal.

This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world.

It has given me a vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids biblically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of the heart. We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children. We have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind. It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is.

Do your legacy a favor and your self a favor and just do it.

One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year, and I could not recommend it more.

We’re no longer fearing dark days ahead, but we’re so excited to raise lights to be leaders for the next generation.

It’s interesting because the next verse even just it just bluntly says flee from idolatry, right? Like how many different things could fall under the topic of idolatry, which is sin. Obviously teaching our children that God is a jealous God, that we shall have no other gods before him. Right. Just even thinking about the Ten Commandments. I think a lot of parents think about teaching their kids the Ten Commandments when they think of discipling their children, right? They think of the, Oh, I need to teach my kids the Ten Commandments. I need to teach them the first and second commandment. I need to teach them the great commission. And these are like probably the most foundational things that you would teach. And that is true. But really the gospel, the gospel is the why you would even want to do any of those things. The gospel is actually the foundation. Jesus is the foundation that we need to be teaching our kids about. And what and I get that that that might seem daunting to a lot of. Especially for those who haven’t been raised in a Christian home. Right. But understanding that you don’t have to do it perfect. And as you’re going down this road, that humility of like I wasn’t raised Christian or whatever, right. Like, if that’s your story, like being humble before your kids and sharing that with them and going, but Jesus is my fault. Like I have a father in heaven and Jesus is my savior and I’m a different person. I’m a new creation because of him. And so we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, right? And then you just dig in with them like they see you empowered. How much more empowering is that going to be for your kids? And so let’s talk for a second, though, about consequences to sin, because this is I think there are many mistakes that parents make. I’m sure if you’re a parent, you’re listening going, yeah, I make mistakes. I know that I honestly have made a lot of mistakes and Isaac’s made mistakes. We are by far perfect parents. Our kids know this full well.


Far from perfect. Yes, we’re far from perfect. But the reality is that there are consequences to sin, right? And when our kids sin, let’s say they lie. We, as parents know that it’s our jurisdiction, our responsibility, that God has given us, that we need to discipline our child. We need to correct them. We need to hold them accountable. But that’s not it. We also need to teach them why. We need to teach them the why before they’ve done it, so that they know why it’s not good to lie. And then when they do lie, we need to hold them accountable and we need to remind them again. What is the Bible say about lying? How do I feel when I’m lied to? How is our relationship affected? When you lie, trust is broken, you discuss these different things, right? Example. And so using that as an example, when they’re little and then as they get older, because we’re talking about parenting of all different ages here, right? As your kids get older, as you’ve been discipling them and you’re constantly doing this, can I say that you need to be constantly and consistently holding your kids accountable, talking about the sin as things as there’s a fight between siblings you’re mediating, right? You’re talking about the need to confess your sin and admit you’re wrong. And the need for this child over here to forgive and let it go. Right. Like that’s what true forgiveness is. So like there’s constantly going to be this need for mediation and discipleship in these biblical Christian living ways.

I guess it’s so important because there’s there’s almost nothing worse than an older Christian that. Never thinks they’re wrong.

Oh, yes.

And is haughty in a way. And so I just think it’s important that we’re raising kids that are humble and they’re not dwelling in the fact that they sinned sometimes, in fact, very opposite because they understand it. They’re dwelling in the power of God and the good news, and they really understand the gospel and they understand it so much and they’re so thankful for what God did on the cross that they want to share it with the world. And that’s the purpose of life, actually. So you’re actually raising them to really understand their purpose in life when they really understand the power of what’s going on here.

I think one of the best scriptures, if you’re looking for a good just basic gospel track to run with your littles or even your middles, the Romans Road, you guys know what I’m talking about, right? You can even just look that up the Romans road we already went over Romans 323, which is one of the verses that’s included in there. We’re in read Romans 623, which is another part of that, the Romans Road. But this whole section of Romans chapter six and seven, it talks about righteousness and God being dead to sin, being alive in Christ. It talks about law, it talks about sin some more. There’s so much rich biblical truth in here that you could, over time, be constantly soaking your family in these truths. But listen, verse 20 of chapter six says, For when you were slaves to sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed for? The end of those things is death. The end of those sins is death, you guys. But now that you’ve been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end eternal life. Verse 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus are Lord. That’s the freedom, right? And so having this message of hope for our children every single time they sin, leading them back to we’re reconciled to God because of Jesus Christ is a necessary element. And sometimes I get it. You can get weary as a parent, right? Sometimes you’re even personally offended when your child sins, because sometimes that sin is against you. Whether they’re defiant, disrespectful, disobedient sometimes, and sometimes it can happen over and over and over again, too, where you just get exasperated as a parent. But can I remind you that what is really at stake here is is that you, as a parent, are doing your job to reckon to help your child, like leading them and like you’re inviting them to meet with Jesus again.

And so some mistakes that parents make sometimes is they don’t teach that sins her, others they don’t teach that it’s hurting their relationship with God. If they haven’t repented of those sins, it’s important to not make those mistakes. It’s important to also follow through. I think that children seem to remember the times we don’t follow through versus the times we do. And so really being consistent is so, so important. And sometimes following through with discipline is just a conversation, and sometimes it’s more as for you to discern, you’re the parents, but it depends on the situation and what’s going on. But to acknowledge, to notice that there’s something wrong, that something just happened and there needs to be some reconciliation is important. That’s super important.

I think, to I get that there are times where maybe you’re in a place where discipline is a little bit more difficult to do. Maybe you’re in public, maybe you’re with family members that don’t believe in sin or they’re not Christian, so they don’t discipline or discipline biblically or whatever it is. Sometimes you’re in court in places or in situations where it’s difficult. And I would just encourage you, because I get this question a lot from people What if this what if that and you know, what can I just encourage you? I’ve been in those situations, go to your car, do the extra hard legwork of of going back to your home, cancel the playdate, whatever it has to happen in order for you to be consistent and to discipline biblically, to be the parent that is going to stand. In truth, when maybe your kid’s in a season where they’re testing things a lot or they’re getting tempted to sin a lot, we have to be willing to put our agenda aside, our reputation, our the way people look at us if they agree with the with Christianity or not, we have to not care or fear man and do what is right in the eyes of God at all times.

So in James, this goes right with this 114 through 16. But each person is tempted when he is lured in, enticed by his own desire, then desire when it is conceived, give gives birth to sin and sin when it is fully grown, brings forth death. So there’s a. Aggression here. And if it’s not held accountable, if leaders aren’t noticing what’s happening, then it’s very challenging. It’s one of the reasons that it’s so difficult, I think, for churches to really help their youth group programs because there’s so many children compared to leaders, and it’s really hard to actually hold account to understand what’s going on. And so that’s why we have to be careful of that. And it’s really important with our own children that we are noticing that. We’re reminding that we’re encouraging our kids forward in godliness and understanding where they’re erring totally.

Now, when it comes to like our responsibility, you mentioned earlier that obviously as parents, we need to confess and repent and take opportunities to do that. But this is something that like little kids when they’re taught and then they’re held accountable or reminded, I guess reminded is probably a better word to use versus hold accountable, but reminded over and over again throughout their life that this is an exercise that we need to do. It’s kind of like a muscle. Confession is one of those things that, like if you’re prideful person, it’s can be really hard to confess, right? Isaac But if you are walking in humble posture and you have a true understanding of who you are in light of God’s mercy and in light of like, you know, just being aware of your own sin, that alone puts you in a humble posture, that puts you in a place that is able to lead in. I mean, you’re going to say you’re leading in humility and that’s a healthy relationship, right? And so to teach your kids to confess and repent, one of the things that we have to do as parents is we have to be able to do it right.

But then we need to continue expecting our kids to do that throughout their life. I just even think, you know, we’ve been parenting for 22 years. We have kids ages 1 to 22. And this aspect of like teaching your kids that sin affects other people is a big deal because I’ve even met adults who ask the question, why do good things, bad things? Why do bad things happen to good people? Right? Like, I think there’s even a book that’s written by somebody that’s that title that’s out there. It’s a big topic and obviously I’m not going to answer that question full force here. But can I just say we live in a fallen world. This is what I’ve told my kids. We live in a fun world. And when people sin, sometimes that sin hurts them and their relationship with God only. Sometimes their sin hurts them, their relationship with God, and it hurts their relationship with other people. And sometimes their sin actually physically hurts other people.

There’s consequences.

There are consequences to sin. And not having this conversation, can I say more than once, I think it needs to happen over and over again because this is a concept that is difficult for kids to understand. Like a lot of times when people think about like the really, I’m just going to say it because kids think this way, right? They think of, oh, grievous sins or murder and, oh, sexual immorality and all those things, right? Like they think that there’s different levels of sin. But God just said for there’s no distinction for I’ll have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. And the reality is that when it comes to sins, sometimes people think that those private sins that are like like pornography could be a very secretive sin for someone. They could hide it, especially today. Back in the day when we were kids, someone really had to have guts because they’d have to walk into a little mart and buy a magazine at the counter and the person selling it to them would have to see it and scan it, right? And then they’d have this physical thing that they’d have to hide or they’d have to quick run to a mailbox to get it before mom and dad saw it.

Right. Like, there’s like they’d have to be sneaky to be able to hide it. But today with how technology is, this is just reality with how technology is. People have secretive sins more than ever. And I think that it is wise for us to take rose tinted glasses off as parents and as people recognizing this truth about the world that we live in today, but also teaching our kids proactively that just because the sin might be a secretive private sin that you think is only affecting you, that’s a lie from the pit of hell, because it does affect us. It affects your mom and dad, it affects your siblings, it affects anyone else that you would be in Christian fellowship with because the Bible actually tells you not to be in community with someone calling themselves a Christian who’s walking in sexual immorality. Right. And so there’s there’s like that is putting that person at a crossroads that is unfair. It’s affecting that person. And then there’s also the element of, like secretive sins, potentially hurting their future relationships. Let’s say a 13 year old is addicted to pornography and they think that their sin is. Normal because all of their buddies do it. And but they’re keeping it secret because they know it’s sin.

They’ve been taught what sin is, but they think it’s just private to them and it’s not affecting anybody. But the truth is, is what they really need to be taught is that it does affect their relationship with God right now, in real time. Right now, it also affects their relationship with their family. It also affects their future relationship with their wife, even if they haven’t met her yet. And every other woman, actually. And so, like, when we are able to point directly to how so I’m not going to go into all the ways because I’m just using this as a as an example. But these are the kinds of conversations that we need to be having with the ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. You know what I mean? Like as parents first John, chapter one, verse nine says, If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves. And the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us. This is so important to read.

So it’s so straightforward. What a clear scripture that just describes exactly what we’re to do. This is so.

Important. It’s interesting, this whole chapter, and first, John is one of my favorite regarding relationships, you guys, because it talks about even here, this is a message that we’ve heard from him and proclaim to you verse five that God is lightning him. There is no darkness at all. So if we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. If we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another. And what’s amazing.

And what happens if the leaders of the family are walking in darkness? Then it just becomes really hard for that influence to be talking about these things. So it’s really important that we’re working on our own relationship with God. We’re making sure there is there aren’t any sins that we haven’t repented of, and we’re walking strong. We want to walk strong because we love God so much, but we also want to walk strong so that we can lead well and so we can be a good influence on our children and elsewhere as well. So that’s super important. Forgiveness is another thing. The interesting thing about forgiveness is there is people that struggle with forgiving, and a lot of people, I think, struggle with forgiving. Sometimes it’s it’s a misunderstanding. You don’t have to put yourself in. You don’t have to stay in relationship with someone in the same way and you can still forgive them. I think that’s something that happens is we misunderstand that. But I think.

Trust is broken and you have to use discernment and discernment.

Sure, you might not be walking in the same way in relationship, but you can still forgive them and unforgiveness only hurts the person not forgiving. It’s really where the hurt is. And so you don’t want to hurt yourself. And it’s a spiritual hurt and it can form bitterness and all these things in a bitter root to foul as many the Bible says. So it’s really important, but sometimes we don’t fully grasp. Our own forgiveness by Jesus when we don’t forgive others. That could be an element of it, too. And sometimes we don’t forgive others when we think we are better than others.

I think, too, that one of the things that’s helped me to have compassion with my younger children who are learning this skill of forgiveness, which can I just say one thing that comes to my mind that’s been an encouragement to me, really young children, they’re really quick to forgive, aren’t they? Like little kids. They’re just like, I forgive you, you know, like they just move right on. And it’s interesting because that is one aspect of faith, like a child and being like a child in a sense, when God says that being like these little ones, they will inherit the kingdom of heaven and to have faith like a child. I just I think of forgiveness just in general and how that coincides with scripture that talk about forgiving other people and God for giving us. And and there’s a lot that we can learn from little kids. But as kids start growing up and they get older, they can start having a harder time with forgiveness. And when you have a child that gets to that place where they’re struggling, they’ll need you to remind them of how much Jesus has forgiven them and how we’ve had relationship issues with them even.

And we’ve chosen to forgive our kids and remind them of that, because sometimes kids, they forget, right? They forget that, Oh, yeah, I used to do that same thing that I’m having a hard time forgiving of my younger sibling. And to remind them, too, that like, being able to forgive is a mark of having received forgiveness from Christ. So for those of you parents who your kids are not saved yet, like in the sense of I mean, we believe that there is like an age of accountability where God is a merciful God, and if we pray, this would never happen. But if a child was to be taken to heaven at a young age, of course they would be in heaven with the Lord, that we believe that wholeheartedly. But when it comes to a child who has not professed that they want to follow Jesus, maybe they haven’t been baptized, born again, and they’re struggling with forgiveness. One thing that has helped me to have compassion and long suffering in the training process of trying to explain this to my kids is that you can’t give what you haven’t received.

Amen. Amen. Matthew 614 says, For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive other others their trespasses, neither will your father. Forgive your trespasses.

It’s a big.

Warning. I mean, that’s right there in the Gospel of Matthew. So. Yes. And then in Acts 319, it say it’s repent, therefore in turn back that your sins may be blotted out. So this is a really important topic. And if we’re not living in a way in leading our families, talking about sin, dealing with sin, and that’s a very challenging home. That’s a very challenging situation.

Well, I’m not even just home. I’m thinking about like. I mean, yeah, it could be difficult when you’re raising your kids. But then, I mean, what is all of our end goal? Like, if you’re a visionary like Isaac and I are, you’re thinking about launching your kids and wanting them to have successful relationships with a spouse at their own children. People if they’re in a job or they’re working somewhere, that they would have a good reputation. You’re just thinking about all of the people, right? And if you’ve raised your kids to love the Lord and on you think you’ve disciple them, but you haven’t actually taught them these basic concepts that your sin actually impacts your relationship with God and you need to repent and receive forgiveness from Christ. If they don’t understand that, if they don’t understand that their sin can hurt physically hurt other people, emotionally hurt other people, psychologically, mentally, relationally hurt other people, and that then they have a broken relationship that they need to work on. If they do not understand this, it’s literally going to affect them the rest of their life. And so we have this awesome opportunity while our kids are in our home to teach them these concepts and to use their relationships with one another as examples like how do you feel when and really talking it out with them so they can understand?

And we want our children to really pursue reconciliation, don’t we? We don’t want our children to launch and be those people that brush things under the carpet and silently forgive, but never verbally reconcile with people. We want them to build good relationships, have a good reputation in the community, and that comes through reconciliation with other people, that comes through forgiving and acknowledging that we can just forgive things and completely let things go and let people know that so that it mends things. And, you know, we’re reconciled through Christ. And if we’re going to launch children that understand the gospel. Then that’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it? Because then they understand their purpose in life and then whatever they do, I think God cares more about the why we do things then what we do and profession and things like that and how we go about it. Whatever we do, we’re to serve the Lord. We’re to glorify the Father, and we want our children to do that.

It’s interesting because as we talk about discipleship, you know, we mentioned earlier Ten Commandments first and second commandment that Jesus talks about in Matthew and and and then the Great Commission, of course, as well, because those are like collective things that as Christians we would want to be living in in those, right? We want to be obeying God’s Word in those. But I just want to share Matthew 22, verses 37 through 40, it says. And he said to them, This is Jesus, you shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment, and the second is like it. You shall love your neighbor as yourself on these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets. And you guys, this is the first and second commandments. You heard how serious this is at the foundation of discipleship. We want our kids to do this right. We want them to love the Lord, their God with the whole heart, mind, soul and strength and love their neighbor as yourself. But the truth is, is when we sin, we are not loving God. We are not obeying His word. Because in John 14, he does say, If you love me, you will obey me four different times. And then if we’re truly loving our neighbor as ourself, we’re not going to sin against them and we’re not going to sin and then hurt them because of our own sin.

Right. And so that’s why this is such a foundational teaching, because it literally, if we don’t get this right in teaching our kids about sin and the consequences of it, then they’re not going to fully understand how it will affect the first and second commandment. And we can just throw away even the thought of them living out the purpose of the Great Commission and going making disciples of all nations and baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, the Holy Spirit, if they can’t get the first and second commandment right, because they don’t understand that their own sin affects other people. And so this is so incredibly foundational. John 15, verse 13 says, Greater love has no one than this, that someone laid down his life for his friends. That’s what Jesus did for us. That was his example of how to love our neighbor as our self. And even though we may not be able to do that to the extent that Jesus did, we can still teach our kids that that’s our example, that’s what we strive for, is to love people that well, and that means we die to our sin, we die to ourself, We stop being selfish, we stop being secretive, We stop in the name of Jesus, and we walk as free people because that’s what he died for. That’s the message of the gospel our kids need to hear.

Let’s be free. Thanks for joining us.

See you next time. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. For more resources, go to courageous parenting and courageous mom dot com for free online workshops, blog posts, and best selling courses. Also, we wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting Mentor program. Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week we release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

This is an incredible self paced program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s a supportive community. You’ll have access to our private online group, live Webcasts and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragements straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentor program. Secure your spot now at courageous parenting dot com that’s CourageousParenting.com

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Create a Godly Legacy
free tips & trainings every wednesday