This conversation is timely as there is an ongoing full-force effort to confuse children about their God-given genders. Hormones are a conversation that is being had everywhere it seems. While this podcast episode is NOT focused on this particular conversation but rather on how hormones impact each of us throughout every season in life, it is timely because parents must be courageous and rise to the challenge of equipping their children with truth on this topic so that they do not fall prey to the lies that are in the world. 

Whether you have tweens or teens or NOT, this is an important conversation because in reality you also have changing hormones. In this episode, Angie shares about some of the seasonal changes she has experienced in her life (as any woman does) but offers a fresh perspective and exhortation to realize that when our hormones are imbalanced it affects us and if it affects us, it affects our children to a certain degree. While we all would love to think that we always have our attitudes, feelings, and emotions, under control and that is a good biblical desire to strive for, the truth is that we are all human, and sometimes, even parents have blind spots and can’t see themselves and how that “time of the month” is getting to them. It’s a healthy thing for us to take the “rose-tinted glasses” off so to speak and be willing to admit and apologize for when we aren’t ourselves. It’s called humility and it’s something we need to model for our kids. 

Since God created hormones, we know they are good. With that in mind, we need to equip and prepare our children ahead of time for the changes they might experience. In doing so, it offers us each the opportunity to gracefully teach confidence in God’s Design of them, further instilling a confident identity in Christ. 

I am sure many of you would willing to admit that hormones are not your “expertise”; and while it is not ours, we have raised a few teenagers and have a few in the house currently. It’s topics like these that leave us parents aware of how much we still have yet to learn, but that’s just it; it’s our jurisdiction. And now that some would like to indoctrinate a different perspective on the children of this generation, there is no time like now to get motivated to learn.

Main Points in This Episode:

• God made hormones, so hormones are good.
• Opportunity for learning, sanctification, maturity, and living with one another in understanding
• Living in a fallen world
• Truths we’ve taught our kids
• The Challenge to Preserve Innocense in a World where Dr.s push their agendas
• We need to investigate and LEARN–research! As the parent, you are in charge.
• The Importance of Communication & Understanding
• Longsuffering & Grace
• Teachable hearts

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Scriptures From This Episode:

– Romans 8:28 – “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.“

– 1 Peter 3:7 – “ Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.“

– Ephesians 5:28-30 – “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.“

– 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5- “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;”

– Genesis 1:18 – “to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good.“

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Hey, welcome to the podcast. Hey guys, I surely never thought we’d be talking about this on the Courageous Parenting podcast, but it actually makes sense.

You guys were gonna talk about hormones and how they impact family life. Because the truth is, if you have ever been pregnant, ever been postpartum, ever had a menstrual cycle, if you have daughters that have had those things, or if you have any children, which obviously, if you’re listening to the parenting podcast, it’s probably because you have kids or you want to have kids someday. So all humans are created with hormones and they affect family relationships and their sanctification. Sanctification that takes place for both men and women in this topic.

Yeah, it is an important topic, and if you have the right approach to it and everybody in the family understands how to approach this, it can really help the culture of your home. It can really help sibling relationships can really help your marriage, and.

It can help prepare your children for their marriages and for their parenting in the future, which is really what we’re all about here, right? Leaving a legacy. So we’re excited to talk to you about this today. Um, obviously, this topic impacts every season of life throughout your whole life. And, um, so we’re going to share transparently about some things that we’ve learned along the way as well. Um, and, you know, I just want to start out by saying, like, this is kind of a big topic and we’re going to do our best to try to keep it succinct. And we would love for you to engage with us in on social media and in the Be Courageous app, because we’re going to be doing a live like we do every single Wednesday following the launch of the podcast. Right, Isaac. That’s right. And people do we do a Q&A with them after we do kind of like a 10 minute to 20 minute what we wish we would have said on the podcast. Yeah, the extras after.

A day or after a few days of thinking about it, depending on when we shoot.

Yes. So if you aren’t in the Be Courageous app, we want to invite you guys to check that out. You can find about it where.

Oh be courageous Ministry org. You can also just search in your app store for be Courageous. You can get it for free for a week and then it’s 8.99 a month. But hard, hard, very few people cancel. I mean, people are loving the app, especially since you started hard at home. There’s something a really fun, incredible happening.

Well, it’s been a really fun, um, topic. We’re talking about all things that, you know, impact, uh, a wife and her home. So, you know, I think a lot of conversation.

I think that’s true. But I also think people are starving for the opportunity to be real without Big tech looking in a safe place with only true Christian moms knowing only believers are there.

Well, and I have to say, just from the few posts that I’ve even put online this week on like Instagram and Facebook, where normally I can share that kind of stuff with women in the app. And there’s so much like mindedness, there’s pushback here. I am challenging people to have emotional self-control when they’re struggling with hormone stuff, and I got people blasting me and it’s like, uh, are you really mad that I shared a Bible verse with you and exhorted you to be kind? So. But anyway, I love being in the app. I feel like I can share more of my heart and more of like, the real stuff, because it’s like more like minded people. Yeah. So it’s just been cool. Yeah.

Maybe we’ll have to do a a man series.

I think you should.

We’ll see.

Hey, would you guys like that? For the guys listening, you got to reach out to Isaac and say, yes.

I’ve got my coffee ready because I think I’m gonna be talking less in this episode, but I’m gonna ask you some good questions. We’re gonna. We’re gonna get lift off here. Okay?

Let’s go, let’s go. So, you know, obviously, we talked about how hormones or anything that you experience physically in life, like, let’s just say it provides an opportunity for sanctification because it’s hard, right. And like, do you want.

To just make sure everybody understands the word sanctification?

I mean, really, I could sum it up in the word growth. Spiritual growth. Yeah. Um, another you know, I didn’t plan on sharing this verse, but it’s one of your favorite verses, which is in James chapter one, which says when you meet trials of various kinds, my brethren. For. You know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing, and then just continues on. Like it’s saying when you meet trials of various kinds. Well, the truth is, is sometimes the way that hormones go. Sometimes it’s a trial, right? Like some like I even think of postpartum. There was one time I’ve had nine babies. For those who maybe are new and listening. Today we have nine kids. Um, I’ve had 11 pregnancies, so I’ve walked through loss. Right. And there’s an element of grief and a temptation to fall into depression and things like that, which, um, I’m really thankful that I didn’t struggle with that, although I did did walk through the valley of the shadow of death and through grief, big time. Um, but I think that part of why I didn’t struggle so much with depression was because of how, um, because of responding to that grief in a biblical manner and really leaning on the Lord, but also being in an environment with people in a biblical community who were reaching out to me and asking me to share.

And I was able to be transparent about the things that I was struggling with and had people praying for me. I had a husband who was incredibly supportive, who was always like there to serve, wanting to make sure I was healing even on the physical sense, but also really cared a lot about my heart and was very gentle with me in that process. And I’m not sharing that with you to impress you. I’m sharing that with you because I pray that for everyone. This is why we’re talking about family life in today’s podcast and how hormones can affect things. Um, because sometimes when you walk through hormonal challenges, you also experience grief. And so anyway, there’s a lot that we can talk about today. Um, but we want to encourage you guys and also wanted to share with you about the 10 Million Legacies movement.

Oh yeah. So we’re so excited to be on this journey with you all show notes and everything is be courageous ministry.org when you share on social media. It’s so helpful. We literally, uh, read every comment we see, every share. Uh, we so appreciate it. And if you want to also if the Lord prompts you to give to the ministry too, so we can continue to, you know, go on this double impact vision for this year. Uh, we still have to shore up some gaps there. So everything’s at Be Courageous ministry.org, all the free stuff, workshops and so forth. Free downloads get on our email list. So important right. You never know what’s going to happen with Big Tech in this election year and things like that. So make sure we have communication through email. Uh, and you also get the go heart deep download, which is super short but practical on how to have deeper heart conversations with your children to open up a deeper conversation and relationship where they share everything with you as you move forward.

That’s awesome. All right, so let’s dive in, you guys. Um, the first thing that we wanted to just acknowledge and, and share that we believe is that God made hormones and that they’re good, because when God made Adam and Eve in the garden, he said, it is good after he made them. And both men and women obviously have hormones. We’re not going to go into the education of anatomy and how much hormones each person has in today’s podcast. That’s not the the heart of this podcast is to open up discussion, to get people to, to start, um, talking about and, and with their spouse and with their kids and teaching them like, hey, this is part of how God made you. And it’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s not something to be embarrassed of. It’s something that we should be able to comfortably talk about. When you start feeling things changing in your body, that is a normal part of growing up. And so I think that, you know, different generations have like gaps, right? Like we’ve talked about this in the past where certain generations were either really hush hush and didn’t talk to their kids about it and expected the school system to talk to their kids about puberty and sex and all that kind of stuff.

And we know where that’s gotten society. Um, not very good place. So, um, the our belief is that God made our hormones and that they’re a good thing, obviously. I mean, I even have a whole chapter. I don’t know if you knew this. You do, because you read Redeeming Childbirth, but in my book, I have a whole chapter on how God designed our bodies to work, where it talks about how certain hormones are released, for example, to trigger milk production so that you can nourish your baby physically with milk, and how when we mess with God’s natural design of things, there can be struggles, inhibitions of receptors and and different body parts get confused as to when to turn on and when to turn off and so forth. And it’s a really interesting chapter. So if you’re pregnant right now, I just this is my little plug to go. Hey, listen, like there is some really cool, awesome ways to look at how God designed our bodies and to have a different perspective on hormones. That’s really. Beautiful and acknowledging that they are a good thing.

I think a lot of people, uh, us guys, at least we think of that’s, you know, when women have that time of the month, right? And yes, and that’s the most overt or seen, um, thing on a recurring basis. And but yeah, I don’t I don’t think people think of the boys so much on the hormone side and the challenges. Yeah. And so what’s your take on that?

Well, I know that. Thanks for asking. I mean, you and I have had conversations about this, but it’s good for us in the podcast. We want you guys to recognize that while it is overt that like all the things that happen to women in life, right. Of course I do think that women are also way more verbal than men are. Um, and speaking of the word overt, there are more overt physiological symptoms that women experience that point to hormones, like getting their cycle right. But the truth is, is that there are all kinds of hormone changes that happen in men’s bodies. Just as much as happen in women’s bodies. And there’s bad side effects when their hormones are off also. Right. Um, and so like low energy, adrenal fatigue, all kinds of things also, um, thyroid, there’s all, all a plethora of things that why is it important for us to be one familiar with the anatomy of the body, to be teaching our children the importance of being aware of what’s happening in their body? And I think that that starts when our kids are really little and teaching them like, hey, when you have a tummy ache, you need to tell mommy. Or you know, when you have a headache, does your head feel okay? You’re kind of squinting, like teaching them to start being able to recognize their physiological symptoms of change to where you can try to help get to the bottom of it. And with hopefully on your own, you can find a way to do that naturally. But if you can’t, going to doctors and teaching your kids like this is a process of understanding our bodies. And it’s a good thing to talk about. It’s not something we want to hide. And I think that that really is like a chain breaking, um, barrier that we have to be proactive in changing because for generations upon generations, people just kind of like didn’t talk about stuff.

Right? I think it’s cool. You know, the idea of, like, there’s no excuse for bad behavior and that people might go, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, what do you mean?

Yeah, you’re referring to, like, my last post on Instagram.

Well, I’m also thinking of, like, you know, you were referencing even, you know, boys going through, you know, lots of dramatic change growing a lot and these kinds of things getting headaches and.

Oh, yeah, like testosterone. So you ask specifically about boys, obviously boys have more testosterone than women have. We know this. Um, and like, honestly, I think that since the mass a mass majority, I don’t know if it’s a majority. Now, I just heard that 51% of people have started homeschooling in the last few years, but for for traditional purposes over the years, historically, kids have been in school. Yeah. And so they expect kids to sit still, boys to sit still. I think.

The stats are still a majority are in.

Are in school. Yeah. And so kids are like boys think about boys sitting in school and having to really fit into their box mentality of what is good behavior. Now add in puberty, all kinds of hormones, you know, changing, growing all the things. And boys are very different than girls are, right? And expecting them to fit into a box that really isn’t conducive to like helping them with the physiological changes that their bodies experience.

So how do you talk to the boys? And we’ll get to the girls in a second. But how do you talk to the boys about this in a way that helps them to overcome, um, being grumpy, moody, treating people poorly?

Well, I think every kid is super different, right? Like, obviously there are there’s normal hormone cycles and then there’s the few that have like maybe excessive amounts of testosterone or excessive amounts of other hormones as well. Based upon diet is a huge impactor or teratogen, if you will. In my opinion. That’s an opinion. Um, and we can talk about that in a minute. But one of the conversations I’ve had as a mom of seven sons is having that conversation with my boys, and I think that really it was my second son who was having headaches that it kind of made me realize, like, okay, his headaches are less when he goes out and he exerts himself physically, like goes and runs for a bit, right? And he’ll come back and he’ll feel way better. Yeah, it doesn’t necessarily fix everything. I’m not saying that if your kid has headaches, have them run and it’s going to go away. That’s not what I’m saying. My point is, is like not everything is fixed with a pill or should be fixed with a pill. And we as parents need to really, like, recognize how much our society has that pop a pill mentality where instead, what we need to find is a team of doctors who are going to be our team that reflect.

Like for the Tollman’s, we have our team of doctors that reflect our perspective on natural medicine and Western medicine, both right. And we try to find that healthy balance for different families. Depending on what your convictions are, you need to have your team where you can go to them and you know they’re going to do research, and they’re not just going to throw the next drug at you. And and I have experienced that with certain kids, too, when they’ve been struggling with symptoms because of extreme hormonal changes. Um, and, and a lot of times what you see from Western medicine is this, oh, quick, get them on birth control or. Oh, the only thing that’s going to help is birth control. Or the only thing is going to help is this drug. And I just I have always been opposed to that because we don’t actually know what the long terme effects of that is on a child. Right. And so and I’m that’s I’m just sharing my personal opinion right there. So as opposed to when we’re sharing scriptural truth about like how hormones are good, that is a biblical.

Well you just brought up some a lot. You know, people are like, okay, this is a big conversation on on the female side. You know, I’ve heard well, when women have it really bad, cramping really bad. Those pills, what are they called? Birth control. Birth control. Um, uh, help with that. That’s the. And doctors are quick to get young ladies on these and. Yeah. And they don’t talk about the side effects.

And if you ask them they’re going to maybe give you 1 or 2. But if you look at the box there’s.

Is that true. Does it does it actually help or is it not.

Different people have different experiences with it. Um, and so I can’t speak for everyone. I have my own personal testimony of a doctor trying to put me on birth control when I was young, before we were married, so that as I as we were getting married, my body would be ready. And that was before we had a conviction about children and babies that we decided to live with the rest of our marriage. And during that experience, I’m just sharing honestly what I experienced. Immediately I felt off. I felt like a different person. I felt like I was apologizing for being moody all the time with you, with other people. I felt cranky. I felt like, well, I felt physically had massive headaches that were coming on that I never had before. I was on the birth control. Um, my bleeding was irregular and more often, and so I went back to my doctor within like a few weeks, and they put me on a different pill and again had very different side effects. And I thought to myself logically. So I looked at all of the like, potential side effects of those things, of the, of the medication that they had put me on. And I started seeing, okay, if I’m experiencing these side effects immediately, then why would I continue with all of the other list of side effects that are underneath it, like ovarian cancer, PCOS, all these things that were listed as potential side effects, that are long terme side effects that are hard to diagnose, that are hard, that take years to find out, and then you have it right.

And so because those have been listed as side effects of the birth controls, at least the ones that I had taken, I was like, I’m out, I’m done. I’m not doing this to my body because it’s changing my, my, my me, it’s changing me. And so the reason why this is such a, a heart deep conversation is because as parents, we need to recognize that our hormones actually do impact our attitudes. They impact our feelings. They impact our tone. If we’re if we have a headache, just a headache that’s not related to hormones, doesn’t that make it harder for you to be positive and kind and upbeat and friendly? Yeah, it affects everybody, affects everybody differently depending on like the size of the headache. But like, I’m even thinking of people who have migraines, like I have had migraines where I’ve been puking in the toilet and had to lay down to take a nap. And so our hormones and this is a huge thing that we need to be aware of. Not everything is treatable by popping a pill, but instead, maybe there are things that need to change about our diets, about our lifestyle, for our children’s sake, so that those symptoms are lessened. But it takes really learning about anatomy, which you can’t do that and you can’t know that there’s a problem unless you have good open communication with all of your kids and they’re coming to you and sharing with you the things that they’re feeling in their body. You know.

It’s interesting the fertility challenges of today and it’s sad. It’s tough and so many miscarriages. Um, some people believe it’s just, oh, we’re just tracking things more nowadays. But I don’t know, you know, the all the stuff in the environment and so forth that hurts the food supply and things that causes diseases. Why? There is one thing that is in common with most women. I think the stats are that most. Women take the pill when they’re, you know, young ladies prior to age 18. Mhm. A lot. Do you look at statistics. Yeah. You know perhaps that is causing infertility challenges and these kinds of things down the road. So. Interesting. But really you know I think with the behavior stuff, one of the cultures we’ve established in our family, regardless of hormones or anything or even gender. Yeah. Or gender is that there is no excuse for bad behavior. But we do need to live with each other in an understanding way. The Bible talks about living with your wives in an understanding way and these kinds of things. Right. So it’s it’s important that we understand. But at the same time, the person dealing with the challenge. That’s not a reason to take it out on other people or be rude in these kinds of things. No. But when those things do happen because they happen sometimes, we also have to live in an understanding way. It’s both ways, right?

The Bible verse you’re referring to, we wanted to share with you guys. It’s first Peter three seven.

Says likewise, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. I love that last part. Do you want your prayers to be hindered? Your prayers are literally hindered. If you’re not living with your wife in an understanding way, understanding the differences equal in value but different created by God.

And and understanding takes communication. I just want to exhort the women who are listening today, because men are different from women, they don’t necessarily experience the same things that we as women experience. Though the culture would like to tell you different. But the truth is, is men don’t know actually what it’s like to have a monthly cycle. They don’t know what it’s like to feel the cramps, or that come with a cycle, or that come with contractions in labor, right? Like so. For me, I actually never really had cramps at all with my cycles, but I definitely had contractions during labor and birth, right? That gave me compassion for the women who had cramps in their cycles. And so every woman is so different in what they actually experience. We’re, you know, we don’t care about sharing with you these kinds of conversations because it doesn’t matter to us. Right? Like, I’ll share with you that I didn’t have cramps, but I had hard contractions. But the truth is that everybody is different. But do you understand the spouse you’re living with? Do you have open communication and compassion and understanding with the wife God gave you? Do you as a wife, communicate versus having unrealistic expectations of your husband and just assuming that he should know and he should, you know, treat you certain ways without ever expressing what your deep needs are, whether they be physical or emotional? We wanted to.

Just take a moment and share with you the Parenting Mentor program. I’m sure you heard about it before. It is the essential program thousands of parents have gone through. Intentional parents, uh, parents with, you know, from one to, you know, several to many kids, um, to having little toddlers to having middle schoolers to teenagers. It’s relevant no matter what season you’re in. And it gets to the core of what parents need from a biblical perspective to equip their children, equip confident Christian kids for these unprecedented times. Remember, they’re launching into a completely different world than even today. The acceleration of change is rapid, but the Bible biblical truth is the same. And so it’s a curriculum of six sessions that build upon each other. You have forever access to self-paced, although we all start at the same time. So join us and it also gives you free access to the Be Courageous app. You can do all the hard home stuff and all the different things.

Yeah, and you know today’s topic in the podcast where we were talking about hormones and stuff, we talked just briefly. Also we mentioned Bible verse. We talked about sexual immorality. And those can be hard conversations to have with your kids can’t they. Yeah. And so in this parenting mentor program, we have an entire one hour teaching. That’s all about purity. It’s about loving the Lord your God with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength. What that looks like to have purity in all those areas of your life. And of course, it also has some really good resources and ideas on how to have what we call warm up conversations with your kids about intimate topics like that.

All right, let’s get back to the episode. Yeah. And I think it’s good not to kind of mock that time of month if there is challenge and to joke about it with the with the kids or anything like that.

Um, we’ve seen this.

Happen super important that that it doesn’t happen. And it’s also important that the boys treat their sisters well and they have some level of understanding of whatever age you think is appropriate to talk about these things. But there should be some understanding. They should be seeing the cues from their dad, and they should be having some understanding. But at the same time the daughters should be having. Self control and they should be held accountable. I see Angie do that. She has talked to our daughters at different times about how to handle that and how to, um, you know, manage themselves, uh, from a behavior. Um, yeah.

And, you know, just being honest, that conversation sometimes goes great, sometimes doesn’t go great, you know, just based upon where the person is emotionally. And so even as moms to daughters having a sensitivity on when to talk about it, sometimes I failed in having the sensitivity on when I’m, like, challenging a person and saying, hey, listen, are you on your cycle? Like, because I can kind of tell you’re more agitated than normal or, you know, and I like we have to be careful, right? Not to offend, but at the same time, we need to step into the role that God has given us as the older woman in our daughters lives, where we’re able to have communication and talk about these things. If we can’t talk about these things, that’s a problem. It’s a problem. And I do think to, you know, there’s another verse that I want to share with you guys that’s in Romans 828 that just really like on this topic, it speaks to me. It speaks to me on many topics. It says, and we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. All things work together for good. We talked about at the very beginning of this podcast how hormones are good. They are meant to help us. We couldn’t be having babies and nursing babies and and doing like the reproductive system. Procreation one of not the but one of the purposes of marriage through procreation like that wouldn’t be the same without our hormones.

The differences between men and women that are so beautiful can go back to the core differences in hormones, even. And I think that that’s why this, this conversation actually could go in so many directions. Um, just because of what’s happening in the culture today with confusion. But I think that this is another reason why we need to have the conversation with our kids on what to expect in themselves as they’re headed towards puberty, whether they’re female or male, having that conversation with our boys about their sisters when their sister, like in a very, um, but in a way that’s respectful to the sisters, right. Where you’re educating the boys and you’re teaching them and and I know that Isaac, in our family, I want to give kudos to him because he’s been so gentle and understanding with me and the girls. Um, but he’s also kind of led the boys in, in that same regard, where there hasn’t ever been any making fun of, there hasn’t ever been any, like, mocking or, um, why does this have to be like this? There’s never been anything like that. Um, instead, there’s just been understanding and grace and love and caring for which has been really a beautiful thing to model, whether that be during a cycle with bad cramping or postpartum for mom or mom’s pregnant. You know, the verse that you read in first Peter three seven, a lot of women don’t like that verse because it says weaker vessel.

It does say weaker vessel there.

And I want to bring that up for a second, because as a woman, I myself will stand up and raise my hand and say, I fully acknowledge that I’m a weaker vessel in so many on so many physical levels. Like, yeah, you can bench more than me, dude. I would hope so. Right? But also there’s this element of my hormones affecting strength and weakness in joints. I’ve experienced that a lot recently as I’ve been perimenopausal. Um, there’s so many different symptoms that I’ve experienced where it’s like I used to be able to garden in a different kind of way than I’m going to have to garden this summer, potentially. Right. And yes, I’m going to work at it and I’m going to work out. I’m going to try to be physically capable of doing things, but my body’s been changing again. And for me to be able to rely on my boys and go, hey, can you haul this £100 of chicken manure to the compost? I will gladly let them do that because I understand my limitations.

Well, the world. Let’s just look at the opposite of this. The world’s gotten so crazy where, uh, men are competing in women’s sports. Yeah, uh, as transgender. And it’s just becoming this completely unfair scenario. It’s just like, okay, you know, I mean, you look at it, men’s skin is thicker than women’s skin. Naturally. There’s just a lot of things. And weaker vessel. What’s a vessel? A vessel is a is a thing. A vessel is our bodies right. Yeah. And so it’s not weaker meaning inferior. It’s just meaning different. And I think that we need to embrace different. Right. That’s not what this episode is about, but the differences God made and equip our children in that. And, uh, men and women are equal in value. I just want to say it again but created different. Mhm.

First Thessalonians four verse three through five is a super big encouragement to me. It says, for this is the will of God, your sanctification. Okay. So we’re going to stop right there. God’s will that we be sanctified. All of us. Men, women. Okay. For and then it continues on. Okay. So for this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor. So there’s like a list of things here that’s happening. Right. And I wanted I wanted to bring that up because of the context of how the sentence is structured. There was a there was a semicolon after sexual immorality, which means another thought is beginning. It’s not just a common comma. There’s a semicolon there that each one of you know how to control his own body and holiness and honor, comma, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God, that no transgress. And then just continues on and on. I think that this scripture, while it’s talking about sexual immorality as an example of sin that we need to abstain from, this is also a call for us all to recognize we’re all called like it’s God’s will for us all to be sanctified. How can I do this better? Maybe you’re not struggling with sexual immorality, but are you knowing how to control your own body in holiness and honor? That applies to how we are reacting to other people when we have hormones going out of control.

That applies to having literally having self control. We know that the fruits of the spirit that are listed in Galatians are the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control. Those things don’t get omitted from our life the minute that that time of the month hits our calendar. We need to teach our our kids that. But also we need to teach our kids that that there’s there we we need to stop using excuses for why we have bad attitudes, why we yell at people while we’re mean, why we’re grumpy, but instead, if we are having feelings in our body, or if we’re in pain, or we’re in suffering, or we’re experiencing a new season in our life like I currently am, and I’ve experienced different seasons, as I’m sure you have. Being pregnant is a new season. Being postpartum is a new season, and it’s different with every single kid. There have been many times in my life where I’ve been in a different transitional season, if you will, where your hormones kind of go like this and they try to get back into stability. If you if you’re watching our YouTube channel, you see my hands going up and down. But anyway, my point is, is in every season we should look at it as an opportunity for growth in our spiritual maturity and our experiencing God.

The power of His Holy Spirit giving us self control. But we also need to look at that and go, okay, this is a reason my body is screaming right now and it’s not an excuse to. Like I said in one of the videos, it’s not an excuse to be lazy and console ourself with things of the world like chick flicks and movie and woe is me and pity parties, and I’m going to read a novel to evoke my emotions and like the things, the way that the world would do it. And I’m not saying that eating chocolate is bad. I love chocolate, but my point is, is like, what is our response? Do we have these idols that we potentially go to first to try to feel better? Or do we go to God? Do we go to our husbands? Do we go to other women in our biblical community and ask for help? Do we go to our doctors? Do we recognize the symptoms in our life and go, I think things are off. I need to learn. I need to have a teachable heart. I need to research. I need to get help. All of those things like and and not being ashamed about it and being able to have an open conversation. Let’s talk about.

Getting help for a second. Do you do you believe people should get on medications or the natural approach or what’s your gut?

Great question. I mean, I think that that is a personal conviction that each person has to figure out on their own. My personal approach is always to try to do things as naturally as possible. Um, and then if it’s not working, um, to, to then seek other advice, get second opinions and so forth. Um, but but this is the thing, sometimes symptoms too are actually a symptom of something that’s a bigger deal that’s happening in your body. And so I’m a firm believer of getting to the root of the problem, the problem with the pop the pill culture. And and oftentimes Western medication is that it’s just a Band-Aid that’s put over something. And, and then it deals with the symptoms. But it doesn’t get to the root of the problem. It doesn’t encourage the person to keep going deeper and to deal with whatever their issues are, because sometimes there’s heart issues, sometimes there’s spiritual issues, sometimes there’s other things that are going on that are creating these other symptoms that are not related to the hormones. And the medication can affect those too. And so I’m, I’m not anti some, you know, some things, but I am for trying to do due diligence and work things out as naturally as possible and seek biblical guidance from mentors who’ve gone before us.

Yeah, I really have appreciated and it’s helped our family so much on all health levels to that you’re such a student and you’re always looking for the most natural, healthiest way to solve something. And you’re not just looking at the one thing that can just fix it with medicine, but you’re looking at what are the many things around it? What’s the root cause of this? You know, what’s diet, for example, in disobedience of children, you know, looking at these things, not just looking at the behavior and getting frustrated, but going, okay, there’s something happening here. This child wasn’t always like this, right?

What happened recently? Were they just exposed to a different dye, for example. And some kids are intolerant to it.

Not always that it’s selfishness. It’s sin. It’s there’s that side.

Of it too. It’s not that.

You don’t talk to your kids and you don’t encourage them to walk the way they should walk, because that’s what the Bible tells us over and over and over.

Again. But you’ve always taken you taken.

That natural approach, and you’ve become really. Really talented, really knowledgeable about how to take care of the family and all things. And we don’t just jump to the medicine. Although sometimes there is a need for the hardcore medicine for whatever it is, right? And we definitely do that when needed.

Right?

I think, too, that this conversation is, you know, if there’s just a few things that I really want to urge people. And it’s one, what is the communication in your family? What is the communication between you and your spouse and you and your kids in regards to what they’re feeling going on in their body and understanding one another? And is there a love for one another and a patience for one another? Um, in in trying to take care of things, you know, like for with with a couple of our kids, there have been different reasons to have to go to the chiropractor, for example. Right. And so to have the support of everyone in the family, because everyone has to kind of chip in more when mom has to take a kid to a doctor of any kind, they need to have understanding. There needs to be a communication that takes place. And so when we’re talking about any health thing that is affecting a family life, communication really needs to happen so that there is an opportunity for growth, for everybody to walk with each other and understanding. Um, and so that that I really think is like a heart heart issue. And then the other thing that’s huge that I hope you take away from today is that none of the things that we walk through physically in life are an excuse for us to walk in sin, but instead, they’re a reason for us to grow in being sanctified and choosing to have joy, choosing to be kind. Choosing to have self control. Leaning into God. Asking for help. Asking for prayer. Being growing in the ability to be humble enough to share honestly what is going on in your life. And and that really all is so beautiful. You know, I wanted to share with you guys this last week, I, I started sharing about some of the, the, the things that I’ve been learning and growing and, and the verses that God’s been.

Well, what’s the season you’re in right now?

Well, I shared a little earlier that I’ve got perimenopausal symptoms for sure. But what’s interesting about that is that I just weaned our ninth child a month ago. And so of course, my hormones are like trying to figure that out. And, and and then for eight months now I’ve had these all basically every symptom except I’m not sure about osteoporosis, but every symptom on the list I would check off for perimenopausal and and I’m in the age category. And so I’m, I’m not in denial and I’m willing to say, okay, yeah, I struggle with all these symptoms. Um, and I’ve been doing the work. I’ve got a doctor, we’ve done blood tests, urine tests, saliva tests, all the tests for all the things. But there are days when I have been overly tired. Right? Like insomnia affects you, and it’s a it’s a big deal. Um, there are times where I’ll be home making, for example, I’ll be cleaning or something, and I go to pick up the vacuum cleaner, and I have a hot flash, or I’ll be cooking in the kitchen, and I feel like it’s 100 degrees in there, and I have to step outside for a second and, um, you know, then there’s the headaches and the joint pain and not being able to physically do some of the things that I was able to do before. And while I have a lot of things that I’ve been working towards with my functional medicine doctor on, um, helping with all of those symptoms, I also know that my hormone levels are massively off because I did all the testing.

And so, um, to, to know and to do the research is part of the first step, but communication is another part of it, because you and the boys have been great about helping me more. Um, I feel like every one of my family has understanding for where mom’s at. Um, but I don’t give myself an excuse to be snotty. No. And and but there are times when I fall to my own flesh, and then I have to come back, and I have to say, I’m sorry. I’m not always good at that either. Right? Sometimes it takes me a minute, if you know what I mean. To really, like, get to the place where then I’m willing to say I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled or I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge right there. And I share that with you guys, because I think that there is a good, healthy balance of us going. These things are real in my life. And I’m not going to use them as an excuse for sin, but I am going to use them for a reason to get help as a yellow flag or red flag of maybe I need to rest more, evaluate my schedule, take care of myself because I can’t take care of other people if I’m not taking care of my temple. Guys, these bodies, they’re fleshly. They’re not immortal. So and this is not a self-care message that, like you see in the world, we need to treat our bodies like a holy temple.

I’m not going to apologize for saying it because it’s biblical, but at the same time, like we just read in first Thessalonians, we also need to know how to control our own body in holiness and honor. That’s also biblical. So I’m going to stand on the rock of Jesus Christ. And if people argue with me, like on Instagram, they’re actually going to be arguing with the Word of God, because those are the things that God calls us up to as women. And I think that it’s a beautiful thought that in every season of our life, we have an opportunity to be sanctified and grow closer to the Lord and be humbled. It’s hard, but from that biblical perspective, it’s actually really beautiful. Um, you know, I just wanted to share a couple other things that are maybe going to help you as you’re leading your girls, um, and to talk to the boys about, too. There’s this verse in Proverbs 3130. It says, charm is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. I know that there have been times with the weight gain that I’ve experienced, and even when there was postpartum, you know, just pregnancy, weight gain, and then I’d lose it. And you go through this process in and out, in and out, in and out. I think I have like six sizes of clothes in my closet.

I think everybody was just thinking of In-N-Out burger or something. When you’re saying that, that’s hilarious.

Are you starving for that?

I think I’m hungry.

That’s really funny. Well, anyway, as Christian women, we must remind ourselves in the midst of the exhaustion, the pain, and even symptoms like weight gain, that our worth isn’t dependent on our outward appearance. And that’s hard in a world that values youthfulness, that values outward appearance. And that’s just been a really good word for me to focus on. That was Proverbs 3130. Another is Ephesians 432 that says, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. I think this verse applies to us as Christian men and women, regardless of the season that we’re in. So for women, regardless of if your hormones are out of whack, regardless of if you’re pmsing, regardless if you’re on your cycle or pregnant or postpartum or perimenopause or tired. Right? Like we could even just say like, oh, I’m tired. Like, honestly, don’t humans just look for an excuse for their sinful behavior all the time? We just can’t do that. Um, hormones are a way that God can sanctify us. And we’ve talked about that. And then the last verse I wanted to share is in second Corinthians 12 nine it says, my grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness. We don’t have to have it all together as women. Our houses don’t have to be all together all the time, and we don’t have to pretend that we’re strong when we’re struggling. Instead, we need to be honest about our struggles so that Jesus Christ can be glorified and be our strength. God is glorified when we’re real and humble so well.

Hey, we hope this was helpful to you. Thanks for joining us. See you next time.