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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an automated transcript and misspells or grammar errors may be present.

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom.

And Isaac from Resolute Man Together pursuing the mission to impact 10 million families and their legacies for the Kingdom of God.

We’ve been married for 23 years and are seeing the fruit from raising our nine children biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children, as too many from Christian families are walking away from their faith by the age of 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way.

We’re praising the Lord that the ministry continues to expand and impact more legacies. We couldn’t do this without you. Whether you pray for us, give us five star reviews, or share on social.

Or even if you purchase courses and merch, or join the Be Courageous app community, enjoy the coffee or support financially. We’re so thankful you are a big part of the 10 Million Legacies movement.

If you want access to all the episodes, show notes, and other biblically based resources, go to Be Courageous Ministry.

Reorg. Join us as we start another important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Hey guys. Welcome back to the Courageous Parenting Podcast. Today we have a very special episode. Today I’m going to be sharing about how the last 24 years of mothering has been a sanctifying experience of growth and learning in the Lord. And today I’m going to be doing the podcast on my own because Isaac is not feeling up to par. And so we thought this would be a great opportunity. I just celebrated my 45th birthday this last week, and my oldest turned 24 this month as well. So it’s been a month of actually a lot of reflecting for me. And so as I’ve been doing some reflecting and thinking on the on how my parenting has changed over the last 24 years, there hasn’t been a lot of big changes, but there’s definitely been a lot of lessons learned. And so I know that for myself, the mentors and women that I’ve learned the most from were those that were willing to share the things that they’ve learned along the way. So I hope today’s episode is an extra special encouragement to those of you who are listening. But before we get started, I wanted to share with you guys something that’s really near and dear to my heart and that is homeschooling curriculum. As you guys know, we have been enjoying getting to be more familiar with master books, and that’s one of the main curriculums we’re using for about four of our kids this year.

And we have partnered with them to bring and really awesome giveaway. If you can find out more about that by going to Master books.com/courageous to sign up for the giveaway as well. But there’s actually three different kind of book bundles, if you will, of favorite curriculum that I’ve been able to pick out based upon different age categories. So it doesn’t matter what age your kids are, you’re welcome to join in the fun and and hopefully win a giveaway of curriculum. Wouldn’t that be awesome to get some curriculum for free to try out with your kids? So go check it out again. It’s at master books.com/courageous. And while you’re there I just want to encourage you to bop around their website and check out more of what they have available. I don’t know if you knew this, but they are exclusively Ken Ham’s publisher, so a lot of his books, you’ll see if you’re familiar with answers in Genesis and the different curriculums that they’ve had over the years, you will see those at Master Books.com. We’ve been using them for probably close to 20 years with our family, and we’ve just been so thankful for that ministry as well. So as you’re going through, you will find that they have a lot of different options for science, curriculum, math, and all different kinds of things. So have some fun, but don’t forget to enter the giveaway. All right, well, let’s dive in.

As I was mentioning, this month has been a month of reflection for me. Um, I think I tend to be that way whenever there’s a special holiday or whenever I have more time to myself. Right? Like on a birthday? Um, I actually got to go and have a little bit of time alone after going bowling with my family, which was a super big highlight. Um, and while I was sitting there, I was doing a lot of thinking, praying, reflecting. I even got out my journal and I started writing some things down. And you know that when I was doing that process, it was just for me. I wasn’t intending on sharing a lot of those things with you guys, but, um, as this time has allowed, I realized, you know, those are actually probably some of the most precious things that I want to share about the last 24 years. So, um, I’m going to share part of my testimony, which is that you might be surprised, you know, if you were to follow me, like on Instagram or if you’ve been listening to the Courageous Parenting Podcast, you maybe know that Isaac and I have been married for almost 25 years. We have nine kids that range from ages 24 to age three. So we have kids in every season of life and we’re also grandparents. We have two grandchildren as well. Um, and, you know, this season of mothering has been special, but it’s been hard, if I’m honest.

It’s been hard. Hard in a good kind of way. Not hard in a way that I have any kind of regret. It’s hard in the sense that there’s so much going on, and I have kids in every season of life, and I just want to be able to embrace every season with them, and I want to be fully present with all of them, and that can be a challenge at times. And I’m really thankful that God has yoked me to a man who also takes family very seriously, in the sense of responsibility and wanting to be a part of as much as he can as well, while also providing and. And so Isaac does a really good job of supporting me, and we do a lot of things as a team. Sometimes we’re tag teaming where it’s he’s going in one direction, I’m going in the other. But I will say that that not being able to be everything for your child has been really humbling. And I think that that’s probably one of the first things that I would like to talk to you guys about in regards to the sanctification of motherhood. When I became a mom for the first time, I remember thinking of all the things I wanted to be for her. I thought I wanted to be the best mom I could possibly be. I thought of all these things that I wanted to do with her, whether it was traditions or, oh, I’m going to make scrapbooks for her, or I’m going to have keepsake boxes for her, and, oh, we’re going to have these memories, and I’m going to do swimming lessons with her, and I’m going to do ballet with her and all these things, like I had all these big, grandiose ideas of what motherhood would be like and how much fun it was going to be, and that I was going to be best friends with my kids.

And it was just going to be a whole bunch of fun. And of course, if you’ve been a mom for any length of time, you know that it’s not that simple. It’s not all roses and chocolate cake and strawberries and bubbles and and and swim lessons. There’s those moments where you honestly find yourself literally going, I don’t know what to do in this situation, Lord. And for me, becoming a mom, that was really a lot of my experience firsthand. I didn’t know what I was doing as far as taking care of a baby. Um, birth and all of that. I read as many books as I possibly can. If you’ve read Redeeming Childbirth, you know that whole testimony. Um, but I will say that, you know, today motherhood is probably very different for moms than it was for me 24 years ago. There was no social media, there was no internet, there were no blogs.

So it wasn’t like there was instant information at your fingertips. And while that can be a blessing, it can also be really overwhelming to a lot of you. And I hear that from you guys on a regular basis. How do you know what you’re reading is actually the right thing? How do you you know, it’s so overwhelming. I keep hearing this side and then I hear that side, and I don’t know how to make a decision on vaccinations or this and that. And I will say that while there was an element of simplicity to those years of not having so many voices to have to weed through. There was still a challenge of not having the training, not having the experience and having to go to books and trying to find people who would make time to spend with me and mentor me and teach me. And I think that for me as a mom, finding a mentor was probably one of the best, most, um, profitable things I could have spent any of my time doing was sitting at the feet of another mom who was maybe a decade to two decades ahead of me, and her being willing to be honest and transparent and share the lessons that God had taught her over the years. So I hope today is an encouragement to you guys. But one of the the first point that I’m going to bring up, how how has motherhood changed me? Well, there’s been many, many ways that if I was to count all of the ways that motherhood has sanctified me or changed me, this podcast would go on and on and on.

So I picked the top four things that we’re going to talk about today. One is selflessness. The second thing is learning how to surrender control. The third thing is humility. How God has humbled me. And the fourth thing would be how he has refined me and is continuing to refine me. And while I’m saying, oh yeah, these are four things that God has done the most in me, that doesn’t mean he’s done with me yet. I still experience these things on a daily basis, and I think that that’s an important expectation that we all have of ourselves, that these things learning to be less selfish, learning to surrender control, learning to be humble and being open to the Lord, refining us through hard times and through being reflective and honest about the things that we struggle with. That is part of the Christian walk. Um, I will say that part of my testimony begins with 24 years ago becoming a mom, and it not being so popular to be a stay at home mom that wasn’t doing something on the side. A side hustle, if you will. And I remember feeling really, like, almost embarrassed to admit to people that, yeah, I’m a stay at home mom.

I’m a stay at home wife and mom. Yeah, I cook and I clean and I change diapers, and I do laundry, and I decorate my house, and I entertain people, and I help my husband with different things, and I pay bills and I, you know, and I would list all the different things. I could take kids to doctor’s appointments and I go grocery shopping and da da da da da. And I pick up toys and I do preschool with them. And I remember the long list of things that I did and and feeling like I was less of a woman or less of a busy woman of God, because I wasn’t working outside the home and then coming home and doing all of those things. In addition, and I had immense respect for women who did work outside the home and were also able to manage their family life and manage the home and take care of their kids. And it was very confusing to me and hard for me. And I think that during that time, that was really the first time that I realized two things. One, I need to grow up and be stronger and not be so much a people pleaser, but be willing to listen to my instincts and listen to God as he’s prompting me to do certain things for my family and not be looking and comparing to other families, but be confident in the decision.

And the thing that my husband and I feel strongly that I need to do. So coming to that place was a journey. It wasn’t something that was right off the bat. Oh yeah, I’m going to stay at home. Mom and I have always hoped that for my daughters especially, that they would grow up and they would already have a confidence in their identity and who they are and what God has called them to, that it wouldn’t be a wishy washy thing for them, like how it was for me. And I know that for myself, they’ve probably watched me over the years grow and be more confident in saying, yeah, I’m a stay at home mom and not being a people pleaser and not trying to prove to them that I’m not lazy and that I do work hard. Also, I think there’s this element of of just Christian living right where we recognize that if we’re walking in the ways that God has called us to, there are going to be things that we choose to do. And I’m not saying just that just anything in general that we are going to have to be walking countercultural today. And that can be a hard thing, especially if you’re a people pleaser. And so I think that the first thing that I had to realize is that that tendency in myself of being a people pleaser was really selfish.

It was about me. It was about what other people thought about me versus selfless and being willing to obey God and lay down my life and take up the cross that he had asked me to take up to bear the cross he had asked me to bear and be willing. To walk strong and confidently in that with a selfless heart attitude. Recognizing that I didn’t need to have accolades or permission, or even pats on the back, or feel valued by other people, knowing that what I was doing was valued by God and that that was enough. Not that I was enough, but that God was enough, and that me being obedient to him was what I needed to focus on, not on what other people were doing. So yes, having to step out and being somewhat countercultural was one of the first hard lessons that I learned in life. I want to share with you guys from Luke chapter nine, if you’ll flip with me there, if you guys have your Bibles, that would be awesome, because I have some really special scriptures to share with you guys today. Luke 923 says, and he said to all, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it. But whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.

This has been probably one of the most sanctifying scriptures to try to be more like the Lord, to be following after him. You know, there’s those bracelets that you see teenagers wearing that have WWJD. That was really popular even when I was in high school. It was a big thing. What would Jesus do? We all would ask, and we’d sing the DC talk song and jars of Clay songs, and and we would be focused on constantly talking about, well, what would Jesus do? What would how would Jesus treat that person? How would Jesus respond? And I think that as a wife and a mom, that still was something that was at the front of my mind in regards to how am I going to love my family, well, what would Jesus have me do? And so coming at it from that perspective of it’s not about me, but it’s about God obeying him and serving others. It’s actually about serving others and understanding that that’s the model of what Jesus gave us. That’s who he was. In John 15 verse 13, it says, greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. And then it says in verse 15, no longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing. But I have called you friends.

For all that I have heard from my father, I have made known to you. This is this scripture about being friends of God and understanding that His Word actually is our guidebook for understanding what God’s will is for our lives, and looking at what the responsibilities and jurisdictions that mothers have. I’m speaking as a mother to mothers in today’s podcast, but this goes the same for parents. Like all parents, moms and dads in the sense of like, what does God’s Word say is my responsibility in training up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. That’s Proverbs 22 six, right? You see Scripture like Ephesians chapter five. Let’s just flip to that together, because I think that this is another verse that is for me has been a huge encouragement, but I know will be to you as well. It says, and walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. So if we’re trying to be like Jesus and he gave himself up for us, we should be giving ourselves up for other people as well. And if not, first, our family, like God even says that we should be doing this for our our enemies and for other people who don’t like us. But if we can’t even be selfless with our own family, which is like the first training ground of selflessness, then there’s a big problem there.

And so recognizing that God calls us to walk in love as he walked in love. And then Ephesians chapter six, this other verse, this is super encouraging. You guys probably all have had your kids memorize children. Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. But if you skip down to verse four, it’s really. This is like a warning to parents, right? Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. And then here’s the instruction. But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And so we have we have different verses like train up a child and bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We also see in in Deuteronomy chapter six, where God is saying, love the Lord your God with your whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. And then he’s exhorting them to teach all of his commandments to their children while they sit, while they rise, while they lie down, while they’re standing to to put it on their doorposts and their. He just goes on and on and on. And to understand that and the, the the sheer importance of God directing us and how we should be communicating with our children. This is clearly another responsibility here. I’m just going to read it to you guys very clearly from Deuteronomy chapter six. It says, listen, that the Lord God commanded me to teach you that you may do them in the land in which you are going over to possess, that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son, and your son’s son.

See, this is about multiple generations here. By keeping all his statutes and commandments, which I command you all the days of your life. How many days of your life? Just maybe. Oh, when you’re really on fire for the Lord in college? No. All the days of your life. That your days may be long here. Therefore, Israel, be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you in a land flowing with milk and honey, and then just continues, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children shall walk. Talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk, by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise, you shall bind them as signs on your hand. They shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. And when the Lord God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, and then just continues on with more promises.

But we know from the Scripture that this is God’s way. If God had a way that parents were supposed to be with their children, there are many scriptures. There are many more than what I’ve even shared with you just then. And I just read 3 or 4 of them. But the point is, is that God has so many instructions for us. And I think when I first started getting to know my firstborn daughter, that was my first motivation of learning what it meant to be a parent. Before that, I was all about like learning about pregnancy and all about learning about birth and learning how to cook, and learning how to clean a home and how to do laundry. Right. And and all the things that I’d been learning for that whole year and a half before she was born, right? And it was like boot camp of learning all the things. But then all of a sudden she was here and it was like, okay. And I’m still learning all the postpartum stuff, and I’m trying to learn. I’m trying to learn. But then there’s also this element of like, okay, but what about parenthood? What does the Bible say about parenthood now? And that was really, really humbling to be reading the Bible through a different lens. That wasn’t just all about me and Jesus, but through a lens of a multi-generational lens, a lens of, Lord, what are your instructions to me now that I’m a mom? And I just want to encourage you guys that when we start reading the Bible for other people’s sake and how what God has commanded us to do for other people’s sake, it becomes alive in a new kind of way.

You start reading it not just for yourself, but for how you should be treating other people. That changes everything. And so I would say that selflessness that I was learning through the boot camp of like the different things that you experience when you’re pregnant, right? Like, I had really bad morning sickness for the for the entire nine months. I even vomited right after I gave birth to our oldest. And I remember like, wow, this is a selfless thing. And I had this totally different new respect for my own mom and what she had gone through in bringing forth life three times. And I remember being like, wow, I didn’t ever realize that this was what it was like for all those women. And so I immediately had this newfound respect for anyone who had given birth. And it it was this bonding thing to me and other sisters that were mothers, you know, just women in general. And that was such a powerful life lesson that forever changed me. But also that element of being willing to go through it again for life again, being willing to lay down your life, whether it meant you were going to have morning sickness or not because another person’s life, their legacy, like I’m talking every person they exponentially touch, whether it’s witnessing to someone having their own children, the people they come in contact with or serve in church.

Like, think about all of the legacy that comes from one person. From one person. Nine months of vomiting is worth another person’s life, their legacy, and eternity. And so that selflessness, like as such a young age, it hit me so hard that it was like this. This isn’t about me. And once you understand that your life isn’t about you, everything changes. God starts opening up wisdom and truth to you in ways that you never thought possible. Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to the Courageous Parenting Podcast. We just want to take a moment to highlight some of our awesome sponsors who are actually there making the Courageous Parenting Podcast possible. And so let’s just take a moment and listen to the sponsors, and then we’ll get back to the show. I want to share a really amazing personal testimony with you guys. The first 20 years Isaac and I were married, we primarily went the traditional health insurance route. Being entrepreneurs in those first 20 years, we had nine pregnancies, one loss, and eight babies birthed Earthside. Each time we were pregnant, we felt limited by our insurance coverage when making the decision on where we were going to have our babies.

When looking into coverage for those births, home birth exclusions were a really big deal for us because of the risk of liability in case of an emergency. As we continued having babies later into life and being older, I was labeled geriatric. I was considered high risk, which made it even more difficult to find the care that I wanted with the assurance of support. Then, four years ago, we switched over to Samaritan Ministries, which is a health sharing organization. A few years into switching, we experienced another pregnancy loss and then we became pregnant for the 11th time, still desiring to have a home birth. We were so blessed and surprised to find out that all our needs were sharable within the organization, and that I could choose the provider I wanted. So we moved forward to have the home birth of our dreams. If you’re looking for an alternative option to being able to pay for medical expenses incurred in raising a family, and you desire the freedom to choose your own providers, including alternative providers like chiropractors and naturopaths, we want to encourage you to check out Samaritan Ministries at our link Samaritan ministries.org slash. Be courageous. In the video, we share how it works and answer a bunch of frequently asked questions. So check out our link at Samaritan ministries.org. Forward slash. Be courageous.

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So selflessness is obviously the opposite of selfishness. Choosing what’s best for others at the sacrifice of even your own desires. I know that a lot of times moms talk about self-care and they talk about mental health, and there’s a lot out there on those things. And I, I do think that there is an element of needing to take care of yourself so that you can care for other people. Obviously, there’s the whole analogy of putting on your own life the oxygen mask on a plane, if a plane’s going down so that you can help other people, otherwise you’re going to pass out and you can’t help them. And there is a truth in that. However, what we see in Scripture is very countercultural to the way that this world works. Jesus says to lay down our lives and that when we do that, that’s when other people experience life. And so I would tend to just encourage you guys to not be so absorbed or influenced by the ways of the world and the suggestions that other people do. But do what in your heart, like the Lord has, if your heart is in alignment with the Lord’s heart. If you love the Lord your God with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength like we read in Deuteronomy chapter six, like we see again in the Gospels when Jesus commands us and he says, all of the law and the prophets can be summed up in this, that you love the Lord your God with your whole heart, mind, soul, and strength.

He put heart in there. Why? Because our heart can be deceived. But when we love the Lord with our whole heart, he changes our desires. He changes our minds. He changes our hearts to where then we can fully serve him selflessly. So the second thing I want to talk to you guys about is surrendering control. And this is a really big thing. And I think it’s something that as humans, we keep trying to take back control, don’t we? But control is really an illusion. Um, but a lot of people struggle with this illusion. I myself am one of the greatest offenders of this. And it’s out of love always, especially in regards to motherhood, where I just don’t want my kids to be hurt. Right? To where you’re like, oh, please don’t don’t go cliff jumping. Oh, please don’t play football. Oh, please don’t do that. You’re going to get hurt. You’re oh don’t dirt bike. You’re gonna get hurt. Oh motocross. You’re gonna dislocate something. You could die. Like, I just I think of all of the what ifs and they potentially like. What happens is, as a mom, I want to take control and say, no, don’t do those things. It could put your life at risk. That could cause you pain.

I don’t want you to be in pain, because if you’re in pain, then I’m in pain too. It’s a self-preserving mechanism or, um, reaction that all of us humans actually have instinctually is to Self-preserve you see it from Adam and Eve back in the Garden of Eden in Genesis when they sinned, what they do, they hid. They were self-preserving. And so as moms, we if we’re walking in a place of selflessness and wanting what God’s desire is for our children versus our desire for our children. Those are two very different things. And the difference maker is that we would surrender, that we would recognize, oh, I do have a will for my kids, but so does God. And actually they’re not my kids. They’re his kids. So I need to give up my will to the Lord and pray for God to impress upon his will that he has for my child. He would impress that upon my heart, and that I would be able to lead them and help guide them and give them wisdom that would help them make the right decisions in their life so that they can be walking in God’s path for them. But here’s the deal our kids also make decisions at times. And so as your kids get older and older, this is definitely something I’ve experienced. And you are surrendering more and more, right? Because you know, when they’re older, you’re not always picking out what they’re eating.

For example, you’re not choosing what job they’re going to pursue. They have to make those decisions. And so you while hopefully you would have the kind of relationship where they would want your advice, you have to surrender, control and allow God to be the one that is leading and guiding them, and it’s between them and God. And that, my friend, has been probably the one of the most sanctifying things that I have been experiencing in motherhood. And I think that, you know, you experience it a little bit when your babies are born. And they it’s so funny how we go from wanting them to do everything early. We’re like, oh, come on, you can crawl. Oh, you can talk. You can say it, baby sign language. Oh, you can go potty. Now we’re going to try potty training. You’re doing all these things to get them to do things, maybe even before their time. But then by the time the second or third kid comes around, you’re not, like, super eager for them to crawl, are you? Because you know what that means? You’re not super eager for them to have teeth, are you? Because you know what that means. Instead, you start to really understand how quick the time goes, and you savor it more and you start to delight in it more. And that is truly a phenomenon that every mom experiences.

And there’s just no way that you can, no matter how many times you’ve been told that you can’t fully embrace it in the same kind of way until you’ve experienced it yourself. And it’s just part of the sanctifying journey of motherhood. But that’s the boot camp that we walk through little by little as our kids are little, and then they start getting older and then by the time they are older. Lord willing, we have surrendered more control, and we have let go and let God to where they are able to feel like confident, and that we are confident that they are able to walk strong in the Lord on their own two feet. And I think that there is there is a need today for this message more than ever, because there is a real epidemic of kids that are failure to launch, especially among boys. It’s almost like the moms are just keeping them boys longer, way longer than they should be. And I do think there’s an element of technology and just society and low expectations of teenagers, and there’s so many things that contribute to that, for sure. But one could possibly be that women who are mothers need to learn to surrender more control to the Lord. And here’s the fruit from it. If you, in prayer surrender to the Lord, you will be drawn and experience God in a whole new way in your prayer life.

That for me has been the fruit. So as I in obedience, have learned to surrender more and to back off and to let them go, I have learned to grow in my prayer life. And you know what is awesome is that in doing that, I found that some of those kids will start coming back even more than you thought they would, because they do want that connection with mom and dad. They want that prayer. They want that wisdom. And that’s how it should be. It shouldn’t be that we’re constantly, as parents all throughout our kids lives trying to exercise some kind of control, but instead we need to back off. There’s Mark 14, verse 36 is a is a scripture I want to share with you guys that this has been super convicting to me. It says, and this is Jesus. And he said, ABBA, father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will. And this is the example that we have from Jesus. He’s praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, and he’s about to be sacrificed. Obviously, he knows what God is calling him to do, but he doesn’t want to do it. But then he. But then he changes and he submits and he says, Lord, not my will, but your will be done as moms.

That is the beautiful picture of what true surrender looks like when we’re able to say, not my will, but your will be done in my child’s life. Matthew chapter six, verse 33. This is one of the verses that I remember just really bathing in over and over and over again. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. And this is why let me just explain. Verse 34 explains why therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. That’s the very next verse. I think that a lot of us struggle with the anxiety of tomorrow and wondering what’s going to happen, and not necessarily like the very next tomorrow, but what about like five, ten, 30 years down the road? Like, do you have anxiety or overwhelm about those days? The truth is, is God’s word here it is sufficient again. He’s literally giving us the antidote. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. If we are seeking God’s kingdom, not Angie’s kingdom, not Jennifer’s Kingdom, not Holly’s kingdom, but God’s kingdom and his righteousness, which we find what his righteousness is by reading His Word. That’s how we seek the kingdom and his righteousness. It’s by reading these words.

Then guess what happens. We will not struggle with being anxious about tomorrow. We see it again in Philippians chapter four. If you need encouragement in this, the third thing I’m going to share with you guys is humility. Now, this is something that I think, again, is an ongoing thing that you’re going to experience over and over again throughout your mothering. I know that for myself, this just keeps happening over and over again. God keeps letting me walk through things that show my imperfections, that help me to have a heart posture of, oh, I don’t have it all perfect either. And I think that one of the first experiences that I had was, oh, and I’m not saying that life was like perfect up until then, but, you know, first three kids, I was doing pretty good managing the home, and we had date nights on a regular basis. The house, it would have messy days, but but really, like it wasn’t too much to clean up and be organized and keep things going. But then I had my fourth and when I had my fourth, that fourth had colic really, really bad. So I was up. Oh, I was up so much in the night. But then I had to be up and alert and awake during the day with the other kids. Wow. Talk about humbling. I’ve had many humbling experiences in my mother, and I’m sure you could think of some too.

But I remember thinking to myself years prior going. I wonder why people have such a hard time. Have you ever said that? That’s almost embarrassing to say because it’s so over critical and judgmental and so prideful, you guys. But God is so good to us because he loves us. He disciplines us, and he allows us to walk through hard things to humble us because he wants us to be more like him. When I think of this, I want to just share with you guys from first Peter chapter five verse six through ten. It says, humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. Be sober minded. Be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world and after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you to him. Be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. So in the end, God is glorified by this. But he’s the one who allows us like nothing tempts us. That hasn’t been sifted through God.

And he can. He can give us the strength knowing. Ladies, listen. When you go through something, do not allow the enemy to deceive you into thinking that you’re the only one that’s ever experienced that. That is a lie from the pit of hell, and it will make you depressed. It will disable you. It will make you paralyzed. It’ll become a snowball effect that gets bigger and bigger and bigger, with more lies about how you’re a failure as a mom. And that’s not okay. We need to take our thoughts captive, understanding that in humility, if we humble ourselves and we cast our anxieties on him because he cares for us and we’re aware, we’re sober minded, so we’re aware of what our insufficiencies are. We’re aware of our imperfections and we’re watchful to try not to sin. But we need to resist him, firm in our faith. And we need to remember that other people are also struggling with these same things. And when we do at the right time, God will restore us, confirm, strengthen and establish us. That is the promise that we have from God. That is the truth that we know from His Word in first Peter chapter five. But it can be hard in the process of going through that time where you are struggling and you have anxiety, or you’re struggling with some kind of suffering or trial that you’re walking through.

There have been so many times where we have walked through something and I’ve realized, okay, Lord, is this for me to learn a lesson? Or is this for someone else to learn a lesson? Or is it for both of us? And that should be our first prayer. Lord, would you teach me? Might this not be wasted? Sanctify me, make me a better person so that I can glorify you? Another scripture that I want to share with you guys is in Hebrews 12. It’s um, verse six which says. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves. Listen, this scripture not only tells us that God loves us and that he’s going to allow us to walk through hard times so that we are humble because it makes us better people, and it refines our character, and it brings us into closer fellowship with the Lord because we understand his suffering even more. But there’s this element of like, what is the opposite of humility? It’s pride. What does pride do? Pride comes before the fall. Yes, we know that. But pride also causes people to be overly critical and judgmental of other people. And that separates friends. No one likes being around someone who’s overly critical. No one wants to spend time with someone knowing that they’re just going to judge them harshly. They’re not going to allow that kind of toxicity into their life if they’re aware of it.

Which can take a moment to listen about. You thrive, our children going through this this summer, and it is so good to feel the gaps of financial education. We’ll be right back to the show.

I want to pause for a second and share something that’s been on my heart. This economy has changed, and it takes more to equip your children to thrive financially. Today, we can’t just assume that sending them off to college or helping them get a job will make them successful. Youth Thrive Academy is filling in the gap left by educational efforts, and offers a personal finance online course that’s relevant to today’s economy. I’m excited my teenagers are taking this comprehensive course knowing any gaps will be filled in. Financial preparedness. They’re learning career readiness skills and how to manage their money through budgeting, saving, investing, borrowing, and protecting their assets. Make you thrive. Academy a part of your summer. Initiatives like We Are go to Thrive Academy forward slash parents. That’s the letter U and get 66% off retail, which is exclusive only for our listeners. Use the code courageous at checkout before it expires. And again, that’s you. Thrive Academy forward slash parents. So here’s the reality. We have a choice. We can either humble ourselves before the Lord, or we can allow him to humble us before the Lord. Or we can just be alone our whole life. I don’t know about you, but if those are the options, I would much rather learn the lesson by submitting to humbling myself before the Lord myself. But the reality is, is in humanity. So many times we just don’t. And when we experience God humbling us, he is so faithful to show his goodness to us and to teach us and to make us better people.

And then we’re able to serve other people better. The fourth thing that I would say motherhood has done for me has been refinement. And I’m sure that if you’ve been a mom for any length of time, you would probably agree with that statement. Um, when I think of the the the process of refining something. It is humbling to think that God has my good in mind as I’m going through a hard season or I’m being humbled, but I’m just going to read from Proverbs 17 verse three. It says the crucible is full for silver, and the furnace is for gold. And the Lord tests hearts. God wants us to be the best people that we can be. He wants. He wants what’s best for us. Leaving pride in us isn’t what’s best for us. Having us walk through maybe a hard season or something that’s humbling and and letting us experience the the refinement and the sanctification that comes through being humbled. It makes us a better person in our character for the long term. That is a discipline that is for our good, that is loving. And as parents, when we when we look at how God the Father treats us, and he’s so gentle with us and patient with us, we need to be that way with our kids. But sometimes we’re not, are we? It can be really hard.

And so through all of this, of course, there have been character qualities and different things that have grown in me over the years, but one of the things that I’ve learned the most is just what one of my favorite songs is, is create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. And I keep thinking of how that is a process of refinement where God has to refine us and create in us what he wants in us. But we have to surrender to that. We have to be humble in order to experience that. We have to be willing to be selfless and not selfish, and offer ourselves up for those experiences so that God can refine us. So let’s just wrap all this up. What are some what are some advice during these unprecedented times for courageous parents when it comes to motherhood, I would say if there’s any good advice I could give you, it’s don’t make any decisions based upon the way that the world is. Meaning, don’t allow the world to influence you. Don’t allow the things that you think are happening in the world to influence the decisions that you make. Be willing to look to God alone. To look at His word. To prayerfully consider the challenges of being selfless, surrendering control, being humbled, being willing to be refined in the refiner’s fire, and to be willing to be true servants of Christ and to be friends of Jesus when we do that.

It literally changes our lives, and they are going to look a little different. At the beginning of this episode, I mentioned how I’m in every season of parenting all at one time right now, as well as being a grandparent, and how that can be hard at times, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. The reality is that a lot of people don’t talk about the hardships that come along with choosing to be a mom of many, and as a mom of nine, there are times when I have felt like, wow, I am at my max. I am beyond my limit. I have way too much on my plate. But you know what? I don’t regret it for a moment. In fact, if there was any advice that I would give you in regards to surrendering. Surrendering your life to Christ and and opening it up for him to grow you and sanctify you, it would be the advice of living beyond yourself, being willing to step out in faith and let God be the one that controls your life, that leads you day by day. That is the one that you are surrendering to the person that you are hailing as king in your life. And when you do that, you don’t live with regret. You have more joy in your life. And even though you may not have all the treasures of the world, you’re going to have treasures in heaven, and you’re going to be just like they say on little House on the Prairie.

You’re the richest family there is. And I, I truly believe that because I experienced the love and joy from my family, from the decisions that we’ve made. And even though it wasn’t easy and there were times where I was tempted to think, oh, well, what if I went and I got a job? Or what if I did this? Or what if that? What if this? And the truth is, is staying faithful and being confident that what God has called me to in my home and being a mom has led us in so many decisions that we have made in the sense of like that has been a priority of Isaac in mine, and because that was a priority that helped us to make our other decisions, and those decisions led us to where we are today. And for that, we’re thankful. So I’m praying that you experience that as well, that you live beyond yourself and in God’s full strength, surrendered to him. Thanks for joining me. Hey, thanks for listening and being a part of the 10 Million Legacies movement. Go to be Courageous Ministry. Org for more biblically based resources, ways to switch where you spend your money that support the mission and information about the incredible Be Courageous app community for believers.

Also, we wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online Parenting Mentor program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, we release a video session with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

This is an incredible, self-paced program where we cover everything from tending to their hearts, handling obedience to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s a supportive community. You’ll have access to our private group in the Be Courageous app, live webcast, and direct access to us.

If you’re interested in joining our next online Parenting Mentor program, secure your spot now at Be Courageous Ministry. Org that’s Be Courageous ministry.org.