The topic of today’s discussion is very relevant to today’s culture. Today we are talking about mentors. More specifically, Titus two men and women.
If you are not familiar with the book of Titus which you should be if you are a professing Christian who claims to be reading their bible then you might think of Titus two only about women but in reality it the book begins by giving charge to the men!
So, what is a Titus two-man or woman?
The concept of Titus two or a Titus two-person is often referred to as an older person who is mentoring or discipling someone younger than them.
We say mentoring or discipling because there is a difference between worldly mentorship/worldly coaching and biblical discipleship. As Christians, we are all called to the great commission which is making disciples of all nations and we know that that first starts in the home by training up a child in the way they should go. But as you get older God also commands you within the body of Christ, within his family to not just disciples and rais up your kids but he wants all his kids to be his disciples.
This is important because if you are not doing the right things when you are younger, you will not be equipped or even qualified to be a Titus two mentor.
So, Titus two is referring to the passage of scripture in Titus where it talks about the older men in the church teaching the younger men and the older women in the church teaching the younger women. In Titus, it is very clear on the specific things they are supposed to be teaching and we are going to dive into all of it in this episode!
In this episode, we are going to talk about why there is a lack of Titus two mentors, what to look for in a mentor, how to secure one and areas of focus with your mentor.
God should not be compartmentalized into only one area of our life.
A big point of this episode that should be glaring to all of us is in the age of the internet, phones, devices, apps, podcasts, social media, books and all this stuff where its so easily available and free in most cases nothing replaces human interaction, and so if you only get information from the digital or physical material then you are going to feel very lonely, and you are going to miss out on the other aspects of fruitfulness that can only happen through a real human relationship. All of the things we listed are not bad, they can be very good! But if its all you are getting then it is not healthy.
Do you get accountability from listening to our podcast? No, you don’t. You may think that you do because we talk about convicting topics and things that you need to change and praise God for that but are we able to follow up and go “hey, so how are you doing at cherishing your wife?” or “how are you doing at serving your husband?” we cannot do that for you guys through this podcast!
You may learn a lot from our podcast and maybe have implemented a lot of things that you have learned but we guarantee you that if you find someone who has experience down the road that you want to travel and you walk with that person and learn from them you will grow and change much more because you have accountability and a real human relationship.
Can you have mentors who have made mistakes? Yes, first of all, everyone makes mistakes, and yes we have had mentors who have made tremendous mistakes, but guess what, God can redeem anything he wants to and what really matters is that he or she has a humble spirit about the mistakes they have made and is aligned with God and biblical doctrine.
A relationship with a mentor will not work unless both you and your mentor have a humble heart. The whole purpose of having a mentor is to grow and learn from them and their knowledge and experience but that will not happen if you do not have a humble and teachable heart.
Where are the Titus Two Men & Women?
Why There is a Lacking
How to Secure a Mentor
Areas of Focus
1. Why There is a Lacking
- So you walk into a church and all you see is younger people. This has happened to us. But where are the men and women who have experience and wisdom to share? We are talking about the ones who are forty plus years old. Where are the ones who have had experience with raising children? Where are the ones who are on fire to teach the younger generations? Where are the people who understand that as long as they are alive on earth God has a purpose for their life? What about the ones who understand their role in the church and their calling to fulfill the great commission?
- A lot of what we see in our culture today is selfishness. The ones who think they don’t have any more work to do. They think that since they have raised their kids, gone to work, provided for their families and ministered in the church that they have no responsibilities in the kingdom of God and that they can just relax.
- It’s the between walking in the flesh and walking in the spirit with open ears towards what God has called them to do which is to raise up the next generations and create disciples!
- In the traditional church today we see a lot of segregation. Sunday schools for every age and you only hang out with people who are your age. This creates division. We are called to be in unity and we are not saying that having separate get-togethers are bads but if there isn’t a way for everyone to come together and be in real community with each other then it can be extremely harmful!
- Our purpose is not to discourage or talk negatively to the church. The church abroad is the bride of Christ and we love it! We are making some generalizations of a majority of churches and the fact is that there is a drive-through mentality in the church in America. The drive-through mentality is just going to church, saying high to people, having small talk and then leaving. It has become more of a checklist for a lot of people instead of it being what God purposed it to be which is a family, God wants us to be in real fellowship with one another, having deep conversations and meeting throughout the week. God wants us to have accountability and love for each other.
- There are Titus two men and women out there, there are people who don’t know what it means to be a Titus two woman or man but if you were to just ask them I bet you they would love to meet with you! Being a Titus two-man or woman is just a title. All it means is that you are aligned with God’s word, older and mentoring someone younger! Everyone knows what it means to be a mentor but not all will understand that being a Titus two-man or woman is the same thing. Instead of trying to find someone who says they are a Titus two-man or woman how about you just try to find someone who has the qualifications and then ask them to mentor you!
- A problem that is common and that we see a lot of is that younger people do not value or respect the older people and this is a result of ageism. Do you think older people will want to disciple and spend time with younger people if they aren’t respected and valued?
2. Fruit Matters
- Titus 1:5 says “For this reason I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you.”
- Now, you may be wondering why we are bringing up eldership. Well, because whether they are an elder or not you want to be seeking out the people with the qualifications of an elder!
- Look for the fruit. You know this! You’ve probably read this many places in the bible! It says that by their fruit you will know that they are a believer! So what kind of fruit should we be looking for in a mentor?
- Titus 1:6-9 says “if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination. For a bishop must be blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober-minded, just, holy, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.”
- Titus 2:1-5 says “But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.”
- These are the fruits you should be looking for!
- This isn’t our opinion. This is God’s word.
- The bible is very clear about what older men and women should be doing! It’s clear on what they should teach how they should teach it and how to be qualified to be a mentor!
- An important thing to realize is that sometimes people don’t feel like they are worthy of being a mentor even though they are!
- (Angie shares her experiences with older women and encouraging them in their roles. Tune in to hear the story)
- Imagine how it would feel if you were older and you didn’t have anyone who wanted to hear from you. It may not be true, but a lot of older people feel that way, which is why you must make your desires known and show interest!
- If you don’t have anyone in your community that you would consider reaching out to for mentorship then maybe you should consider stepping out of your community a little bit and look around you to see who God has naturally placed in your life, do you have a grandparent or an in-law?
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3. How to Secure a Mentor
- So, let’s talk about how to secure a mentor. The first and most important thing to do is to pray about it. If you are not inviting God into this then you are in your flesh making important decisions.
- We tell this to our teenagers all the time, and its that if you make all these important decisions about your life in your flesh it is so much better if you are in the spirit because these decisions you are making are hinges to your life and the direction you will go.
- Don’t you think that if you are going to allow someone to speak into your life its a pretty important thing? So, when looking for a mentor you have to have God involved! You need to ask God for someone to come into your life and ask in faith, we do not want to be double-minded like it talks about in James, where we ask but we don’t believe what we are asking for.
- The second tip is you need to ask. There could be someone around you right now who thinks that they can help and mentor you but here’s the thing, they will not ask you! Put yourself in their shoes, would you ask someone if you could mentor them? No. it is your job to seek out a mentor and ask. The younger person must ask the older person to mentor them very clearly.
- (Isaac shares his story by asking his mentors to mentor him and how grateful they were. Tune in to hear the story.)
- Another key point to having mentors is that you need to make time for your spouse to have a mentor. A mentor is there to help your spouse to grow and in turn, it will help you and your marriage but if you don’t allow time for it then it simply won’t happen.
4. Areas of focus
- After you have secured a mentor you need to give them full permission to ask you anything! This is vital. They need to be able to ask you about what you are struggling with and then hold you accountable. And when they ask you a question you need to answer honestly.
- Your aim should be to become like your mentor, to follow in their footsteps and to learn as much as you can from him/her.
- You should also be striving to live by what the bible says in Titus and become qualified to one-day mentor someone of your own!
- Not everyone should be an elder, it is not God’s purpose for everyone. But we should all strive to have the qualifications of an elder.
- Having a mentor is not comfortable, it goes against your flesh and exposes things that your flesh wants to keep hidden, but this is the refining process and it what we are all called to.
- Who you allow top influence you will impact your legacies.
- The only way you can discern and rightly judge who should be your mentor is to evaluate the fruit and does that person have a marriage that you want your marriage to be like? Do you want your kids to be like their kids?
Scripture In This Episode:
Titus 1:5 – “For this reason I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you.”
Titus 1:6-9 – “if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination. For a bishop must be blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober-minded, just, holy, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.”
Titus 2:1-5 – “But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.”
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