Why Higher Expectations Of Your Babysitter Are Necessary

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Episode Summary

Are we so desperate for time away from our kids that we lower our expectations for who’s watching them? Or perhaps we never realized that we can and should expect more from our babysitters. If you have people who watch your kids, you will get value from this episode.

Don’t miss out on the opportunities that exist through expecting more out of your babysitters. For her, you and your kids. This episode will open your eyes to some things that you can immediately change or implement to protect your kids but also create a more fruitful experience when they are watched.

  • We are going to share our story about finding babysitters
  • Ideas about how to find babysitters
  • A vision for the relationship you should have with those who watch your kids
  • How to train your babysitter

You are held accountable for what happens to your kids and It’s when we aren’t there that the most challenging things have the greatest chances of happening.

There Are Really Good Reasons To Have a Sitter

  • There are seasons that are harder than others.
  • It’s important that you have time to take care of yourself.
  • It’s also important to nourish your marriage and have date nights.
  • Create and budget to invest in a good babysitter

You want to be generous to attract and retain a great babysitter. What is the real value of a person intentionally watching and taking care of your kids?

How To Find a Babysitter

  • Go to your church and ask what kids are the most responsible
  • Check into the youth group and meet the parents of potential sitters
  • If you are in fellowship with people who 
  • Who are the strongest believers that you truly know, ask them who watches their kids?
  • You cannot assume that the babysitter knows what to do and has the same integrity you see in their parents.
  • Brainstorm with your spouse about what your expectations are and what kind of person you are looking for.


Have Vision for a Great Babysitter

  • Ideally, you would be walking in fellowship with other families and know them well enough to be able to say. I want my kids to turn out like this young lady. She’s who you would want to ask.
  • Build a relationship with her beyond the babysitting role. She should see value in helping you also because of your personal investment in the relationship
  • Your relationship should be mutually beneficial. She should feel like you are helping her for motherhood.
  • You are looking for people who flee youthful lusts. You don’t want someone that has FOMO (Fear of missing out). You need to pay attention to this otherwise they will be on their phone a lot.
  • Don’t be fooled by your own kids giving the wrong feedback. Some kids might like being left alone while the sitter is on the phone and not tell you.
  • Layout specific expectations
    • Let her know you want a debrief after every time she babysits. Let her know you welcome criticism, that you want the real deal. The truth about your kid’s behavior.
    • If the story is different than what your kids are saying then you might have a problem.
  • You need to know the family of the babysitter. 
  • When you are gone, you want it to be an additive experience for your kids.
  • It’s a huge witness to your babysitter if your kids are respectful, obedient, and a joy to spend time with. Work hard at that.

How to train your babysitter

  • This is the wife’s jurisdiction and you are employing someone to take care of your home and kids.
  • If you have daughters, they will most likely become sitters, so you want to train them to do this well too.
  • Set expectations of what’s not okay; being on their phone, no technology, no TV unless we are good with them watching a movie, music boundaries, no earphones.
  • If the kids are sleeping, then you should still be working. Clean the kitchen, put things away, vaccuum, don’t leave kids clothes on the floor…
  • Leave the house better than when you got there if possible.
  • Teach them how you want them to correct your kids. What do you want them to do. You want them to have some leverage to help them.
    • Loss of privilege, time away from everyone, take toys away, go to bed early.
  • Set her up for success
  • Be honest with the areas you are struggling with regarding your kids so they can have an eye on it.
  • If your sitter doesn’t share it with you she will likely share it with her parents. Who do you want to hear it?
  • The word babysitter is problematic if your kids aren’t baby’s.
  • Ask her what she wants to be called.


Extra thoughts and warnings

  • We would never let our sons watch other peoples kids
  • Culture hasn’t looked favorably on boys watching kids
  • We are in the #MeToo era and don’t want a chance for an accusation against our sons to exist.
  • We want to live in a way that is above reproof. As parents, we must protect our son’s reputations.
  • Husbands should never drive a babysitter home or be home alone with her.
  • Pay well and give a good tip if they do a good job!
  • Your husband is not a babysitter, he’s their Dad, he’s a parent. If you call your husband a babysitter it doesn’t speak well of your husband.
  • Dad’s, seize the opportunities to be alone with your kids.

Scripture In This Episode

2 Timothy 2:22 “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

Titus 2:3-8the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things–that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.”

1 timothy 5:18 “For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer is worthy of his wages.””


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Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 1 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Written By Angie Tolpin
Angie has been married to Isaac for 19 years and together they have eight children, whom she homeschools. She is the Founder of CourageousMom.com, a doula, the author of the best-selling book Redeeming Childbirth, and the creator of the first ever Christian Postpartum Course. Angie loves ministering to Women and has created a few online Bible Studies on Biblical Friendship and Motherhood.

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