It’s vital to create signature experiences that establish what it means to be a man or woman. Perhaps even more powerful is the influence on your parenting when you know you are going to have a ceremony for your kids when they are teenagers. It causes you to build the right relationships and establish clear goals for fruitfulness in your kids.

This is why this episode is relevant to all parents regardless of how old your kids are right now.

Part of having vision is setting benchmarks for where you want your kids to be by certain ages. If you know you will have a ceremony then you have something you are building towards with clarity about the character qualities you want your kids to have.

When did you know you were a man or a woman?  What were the events that took place that caused you to believe you were a man or a woman?

Culture gives all the wrong signals of what it means to be a man or woman, often it’s even defined by scandalous actions which is sad. That’s not true. We must give a clear vision to our kids.

We need to call out womanhood and manhood as early you feel is appropriate.

 

One of the things we’ve talked to our kids about. We want to treat you like a young adult, that means you have to act like one. If you act like a child we will treat you like one. If you act like an adult we will treat you like one.

It’s so important to call out that man and woman in your kids and do it in grand fashion. What’s lacking today is utilizing the power of ceremony.

You will need worthy people to speak into your son or daughters life.

We want to encourage you to dream about what would speak volumes to your kid’s heart. An experience that anchors their faith, acknowledges their spiritual gifts, their identity in Christ, good character, and Godliness.

We get to do this as parents! It’s vital to study our kids so we know what we can call out and encourage in them.

Who are around you that will be worthy of being at the table who know your kids, you trust will be in your lives into the future, who you trust Biblically that you want to speak life into your kids in the future when you do your ceremonies for your kids?

Be in prayer and ask God to bring those people into your lives. It’s so powerful to have other adults your kid’s respect speaking the same truths you are into your kids lives.

We are raising future adults

• We don’t want them to fail to launch. We don’t want them to be boys in man’s bodies or girls in women’s bodies.
• We need to create a benchmark with a time and place to have a ceremony. Somewhere between 13 and 16, we are going to do a ceremony.
• Deadlines are important. When you have a goal, you know how many years you have to build towards it
• How many parents hate the teenage years? Or are in fear of the teenage years?
• We absolutely love the teenage years because of training them up in love and Biblical truth.
• You have been commissioned to be an example to all believers, prove the culture wrong about teenagers. In order to do this, you will need support. Build your support team so your kids aren’t’ running the race alone and neither are you.
• When people are young it’s so easy for kids to develop a worldly focus when God wants them to have a Kingdom-minded focus. What’s the focus of your kids?
• Teenagers struggle the most with the comparison trap. Comparing themselves to others and being swayed by it. 
• Teach your kids contentment and Godliness. Pray for an inner-transformation of their heart towards Christ.
• It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen one before. You get to do whatever you feel called to do. What we do is actually very simple but powerful.
• You are going to do it the way you are supposed to and want to do it. It doesn’t have to be like others.

Ceremony Is Important

• Unfortunately, ceremony is usually limited to marriage and death.
• There should be multiple ceremonies. 
• This is a signature experience at a critical time.
• It’s great if you have people of varying ages your child has had a relationship with, who can say personal things about your child and that you want your child to look up to. 
• Food brings out the best in people, make sure there is great food.
• Make it meaningful with an agenda and people coming prepared ahead of time to speak to your young adult.
• Have people prepare to bring a small gift that is a token of manhood or womanhood reminding your child of their message.
• They give their 10-minute message and the gift sharing what it means to be a Godly Man or Woman.
• Have a declaration that everyone can sign. We are giving free templates and further training on this in the PARENTING MENTOR PROGRAM.

Notes From Interviewing Austin (16) & Megan (14) About Their Ceremonies

• Austin

  • It was a pivotal moment in my walk as a man.
  • The men I most respected spoke into my life.
  • As a 14-year-old, being told I’m a man was so powerful.
  • I had more respect after that and I’m now included in more things.
  • I now go to the men’s Bible study.
  • Most people I talk to don’t know when they became a man, but for me, it was so affirming having men I respect telling me that I’m a man.
  • I like that they are now going to hold me accountable to walking as a man

• Megan

  • I appreciated all the time my mom spent preparing it.
  • Women teaching me how to be a Biblical woman.
  • My bucket just filled up!
  • The relationships with the woman have grown.
  • The dinner was amazing while hearing from Women I respect.
  • I appreciate that they will hold me accountable.

It’s important to have fellowship with adults who don’t prescribe to ageism and spend time with people younger than them. People who take seriously modeling manhood and womanhood for your kids.

This changes their social world as they no longer think and play like a child and are welcomed as young men and woman into those conversations. It raises the level of expectations on your kids at the right time.

We all rise to the expectations on us and unfortunately, expectations are too low even in the larger Christian community.

Scriptures Mentioned In This Episode

1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

1 Timothy 6:6-7 “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.”

1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

1 Corinthians 16:13  “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

Resources

• Courageous Mom Blog Post “Biblical Womanhood Ceremony: Raising Daughters To Live For God”
• Resolute Man Blog Post “The Manhood Ceremony”
• Parenting Mentor Program, a 6-Week, self- paced online program giving you the Biblical Parenting Model
• Inspired by the book “Raising A Modern-Day Knight” by Robert Lewis

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