In this episode, we are sharing a lot of intimate and raw topics that we have walked through in our life along with a life-changing announcement!
One year ago we launched the very first courageous parenting mentor program and at the same time, we started the podcast. So this last year has been an exciting move into full-time ministry with courageous parenting, courageous mom and resolute man. God has been blessing the ministry and it has been awesome hearing your testimonies. We love getting messages from you guys and reading reviews because it encourages us to keep going.
There are so many people that are being helped by the content but also are behind the one million legacies movement which can have an incredible impact on society and bring more people to Jesus. This is a kingdom-focused ministry and we have a kingdom-focused legacy because it’s not about leaving our legacy it is about leaving God’s legacy. Because of our focus on leaving God’s legacy and building his kingdom we have made many decisions that to the world seemed insane. Like planting a vineyard to teach our children to work ethic or the number of kids we have which a lot of people still don’t understand. In this last year, we have also moved the family we moved from a house on thirty acres to a neighborhood which has been an amazing blessing and the kids have loved it. In the last year, we have also planted a home church with a couple of other awesome families.
So this last year has been full of a lot of life-changing events and we have gone through massive trials and massive blessings are given to us by God. sometimes God wants us right at the edge of where we think things are going to fall apart to test our faith and to see if we are going to be obedient.
So let’s dive in!
We have a really big announcement to make, we are pregnant with another baby Tolpin! We are so blessed by God and joyful for this new life that God has entrusted us with! We are now going from a family of ten to a family of eleven!
So, we thought that this would just be a special time to share with you all, we are going to go over three topics in this episode! We wanted to first share with you that we are pregnant, and we are going to go more in-depth about some hardships with pregnancy and our testimony with that. Secondly, we wanted to talk about loss because we suffered a miscarriage in between Solomon and Eli. so this is actually our tenth pregnancy and how Angie almost didn’t make it. Then lastly we are going to share about rejoicing in God’s blessings but we are also going to talk about what happens when we are in the flesh even when God wants to give us blessings.
Major Announcement & Obeying God Even When It’s Counter-Cultural
Rejoicing In God’s Blessings
- We wanted to first talk to about the quiver full movement because a lot of people could easily stereotype us as being a part of the quiver full movement. This movement is a dogmatic movement that believes that everybody should have as many kids as they possibly can, and you are rebuked if you don’t. What we believe is that God has a unique plan for every single family, but we should all look at children as a blessing because that is what scripture says.
- So for us, we do allow the bible to influence how we live our lives, and we believe what the bible says. For the sake of this conversation and what we are going to share we just want you to know that we don’t want anyone to look at us and think that we expect everybody to be like us and have a lot of kids because that is not true about us. We do believe that each of our kids is a blessing, and we do believe that all children are a blessing from the Lord because the bible says that they are an eternal inheritance.
- We also want you to know that we are not naturally kid people, and what we mean by that is that when we got married we didn’t have a dream of having a big family, we didn’t even talk about how big our family would be. We thought we were done having kids after the first two!
- If that is where you are right now, and you don’t think you want any more kids, we don’t want you to be discouraged and tempted to think that you could never get to this place where we are right now, because we remember having one and being overwhelmed, we remember having one on the way and being overwhelmed, we remember feeling like we didn’t know how to be parents and that’s okay.
- Every time you have another child there will be sacrifices that you have to make. And in those moments of making a sacrifice for your family or your newborn, there is a moment where it can be so easy to meditate on the sacrifices you have to make instead of the blessings you have been given.
- Proverbs 19:21 says “There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel, that will stand.”
- So when we get the Lord’s counsel, his plans are best. And we can circumvent God’s plans, like if you do something permanent and say “well God can still do a miracle” that is testing God.
- This scripture has been key over the years and serves as a reminder that we are not the ones creating the babies, God creates the babies
- Psalm 139:13-16 says “For You formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me When as yet there were none of them.”
- A lot of times people use this scripture as a pro-life scripture, that God is the one who creates children and they are humans in the mother’s womb from the time that they are conceived.
- (Angie shares testimony and personal connection to Psalms 139, tune in to episode 58!)
- About two and a half years ago we were in a very challenging season in our lives, the hardest season we ever experienced and we got pregnant and it was like beauty amid ashes and everyone in our family was just clinging onto that joy of having a new baby because we needed joy, and our whole church was so exciting for us. At the same time, we were trying to sell our home in Portland because we had moved to bend but we had a renter who stopped paying rent, stole our tractor and sold it and did some weird things to the house. So the stress of getting the renter out, cleaning the property and selling it ourselves took a toll on the pregnancy and we lost the baby and all of that was after a recent company failure and massive debt with no income.
- Losing selah (the baby) was a struggle. The whole family took a hit, and we struggled with finding something or someone to blame because that is our natural inclination as humans but God is sovereign and if it was her time to go then it was her time to go and God’s plans are better than ours. God taught us many powerful things through our loss, he taught us about giving thanks in the middle of grieving.
- Philippians 4:6-7 says “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
- 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 says “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.”
- Focusing on our baby being in heaven with Jesus instead of being angry that she is not here with us was a big thing.
- 2 Corinthians 10:5 says “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ”
- So, even though we have had a lot of experience we still have to hold our thoughts captive, even with this pregnancy, from the moment we found out we have had to exercise that spiritual muscle.
- So the thing about losing a baby and you have been blessed to get pregnant again, the natural tendency that most women struggle with is the fear of losing that baby as well. This is a very real struggle that does not go away. Even if you have a rainbow baby after suffering a loss you still struggle with this fear.
- (Angie shares her struggle with fear, tune in to episode 58 to hear!)
- One of the most powerful things you can do to overcome this fear is to preach to yourself, have key scriptures that you go to whenever you start feeling afraid and filling yourself with the godly truth versus the worldly pressure. The only way you can do that is by having studied God’s word over and over and remaining in that faithfulness. You can’t preach to yourself the truth unless you read it and you know it.
- Nine months of sacrifice even if you are puking sixteen times a day is worth another person’s entire life, their legacy, and their eternal life.
- Psalm 34:17-19 says “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears And delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.”
- That is a promise. God gives so many promises in the Bible and we should anchor our lives on his promises, not on the fears of the world.
Weekly Tip and Date Night One Sheet!
3. Rejoicing In God’s Blessings
- So, when you are a mom and maybe you have had a miscarriage and you are struggling with the fleshly selfishness where you are just not super excited about the pregnancy
- Romans 12:15 says “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”
- Choosing to do the hard thing when your flesh is crying out to do the opposite is where the most growth happens in your life. One of the things that we have come to realize is that children are the only thing that is an eternal inheritance, they are the true treasures in heaven because we can’t take anything earthly with us to heaven, but if our children know the Lord they get to come to heaven with us!
- It’s a lot more work to have another child and having children, in general, is a life of servanthood and we wouldn’t want to be doing anything else because we know that it’s the great commission and it is part of how we get to contribute to the great commission and partner with christ in raising his children.
- After we had our first two kids we thought we were done having kids and we thought “ok, in eighteen years when we are in our forties we will be empty nesters and be able to do whatever we want.” that’s just how we thought back then. Now, it’s eighteen years later and we are blessed with another baby so when we are in our sixties we will be empty nesters. The world would say that it’s crazy and wonder “how will you have enough energy to be around them?” but why not make sure we have enough energy to be around them? And if we don’t then God is sovereign and he will take care of us, and it snot like God made a mistake giving us another kid it’s a blessing and it’s on purpose and it’s about their life, our lives are not just about us they are about partnering with God to create more life and more disciples who proclaim his name.
- If children were a blessing in our twenties and children were a blessing in our thirties then children are still a blessing in our forties.
- This podcast is a safe place. We have never been judgmental of other people and their families, this is between you and your spouse, and your marriage and God. you need to walk your race that God has set before you, and it’s going to look different, God has a special plan for your family but what we encourage is that you trust God and live out the truth that children are a blessing.
- We have had times where one of us was done having kids and the other was not and then times when it was flipped the other way. We decided that we would never stop if it was for selfish reasons and we felt like it would be disobedient to God.
- So here is the key point. God wants our obedience. He says “abide in me and I in you” so we need to abide in Christ and that means to be obedient to what he wants for us.
- Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
- We are so excited to share with you guys that we are having another baby! This will be our tenth pregnancy, and we just ask that you would please remember us in your prayers.
- We would love to hear from you and we are here for you guys, if you have struggled with a miscarriage or if you want encouragement in your pregnancy you can us on social media and reach out!
Scripture In This Episode:
Proverbs 19:21 – “There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel, that will stand.”
Psalm 139:13-16 – “For You formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me When as yet there were none of them.”
Philippians 4:6-7 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 – “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.”
2 Corinthians 10:5 – “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ”
Psalm 34:17-19 – “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears And delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.”
Romans 12:15 – “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
- My Miscarriage Story
- Giving Thanks In The Midst Of Grieving
- We Will worship While Weeping
- It’s Good And Healthy To Grieve Your Baby
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Relevant Resource Links:
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Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 10 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.