Scripture In This Episode:

John 17:14-19 – “I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified by the truth.”

2 Timothy 3:10 –  ^“But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.”

Hebrews 10:24 – “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,”

James 3:1 – “My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.”

Galatians 6:9 – “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom, and I’m Isaac from Resolute Man. We’ve been married 20 years and have seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically.

Based on the raw truth found in the Bible, we can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast. Hi, guys. We’re excited to give you this episode. I think it’s relevant to uncertain times, wouldn’t you say Ang?

Yeah, we’re going to be digging into a lot of different scriptures. Some of them actually are about end times. Last week’s podcast was five. It was five tips, right, to raising independent thinkers. Yeah. And in that one, we did bring up that. Right now there is a need more than ever for us to train our kids, to be able to discern between truth and false teaching. Right? Yeah. And we just brought up some really easy examples of how that’s happening in society today. But we dug into scripture regarding some End-Time stuff. So even though these are two different podcasts, I feel like they are both like full of encouragement.

And we got so much feedback that people love that last podcast. And it actually did better than a lot of our podcasts, probably one of the best ever so far. Wow. And so just really telling and we’re always a little behind the scenes real quick. We’re always listening to the Holy Spirit. We’re paying attention to what people message us and kind of what’s going on in the world and what we think people need and what we’re reading in scripture and what we’re reading in scripture and and also what we’re dealing with in our own lives. Yeah, at times. But I want you guys to know this is a real raw conversation.

We don’t have any content out of the podcast itself. So our son, Austin, he has his own business, creative business, and he does all the behind the scenes work for the podcast.

Yeah, but I’ve always instructed him, never take anything out of the middle, definitely make the audio better. Definitely put the bumpers on the front and back, definitely put the parenting program commercial or whatever else in the middle, because that’s how it supports these things.

But don’t take any content out. And what that means is it would be literally the same is if you were sitting in our living room and we were talking to you because you wouldn’t be missing anything. There wouldn’t be anything changed.

Right. Which is oftentimes actually can be very different from other podcasts. Right. Where they will go back and edit things out and different things like that. It’s just very different. We do things in a much more simple fashion over here.

So one of the things, you know, feedback is always good. And every once in a while we’ll get somebody that says you guys kind of talk over each other a little bit or interrupt each other a little bit. And while we appreciate that, we appreciate all feedback. Our goal is to have no pauses because we don’t edit them out. And so sometimes we do do that and we’re aware of that and we’re working on that. But at the same time, we don’t want any pauses because we made a commitment not to edit anything out, either. Or even edit out pauses. So none of that ever happens.

And sometimes when we are doing that, too, we’re setting each other up for the next train of thought or trying to keep each other on track because some of us need that a little bit more than others.

if you’re watching the YouTube. I’m raising my hand. Yeah. A lot of times I’d be like, Ang, we’ve got to keep going.

So we’re talking about how to stay motivated parenting in an uncertain world because there are real challenges today. But you know what? You made a good point earlier Ang as we’re just briefly talking about this, is that a lot of these challenges have always been there.

Yeah. So when we were talking about just the different challenges that parents are facing for the first time, maybe or or maybe they’re acknowledging the problem for the first time, but the is actually always been there. Yeah. Or not. I wouldn’t say problem, challenge is a better term for it. Right. And I’ll give you one example, like just parenting. Parenting can be a hard thing in general. This is a parenting podcast. How many of us knew when we had our first baby how to parent No. One right before and even in the midst of parenting your kids, don’t you go, OK, I’ve never encountered this before. What am I going to do? And so there are constant times in our lives as parents where we are faced with something new and we have to figure out what is the wisest, most biblical answer or approach to handling the situation. Right. And that alone is a challenge. But why would this be relevant to today? Because most people have their kids at home a whole lot more often than they normally do. Right. I’ll give you an example. Our boys play sports and all of the sports games are currently canceled due to covid.

And so so dad has to rise to the occasion. All right. A mountain biking. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, there’s seriously, like you are faced with your kids being home more often. So then there’s more relational communication challenges potentially if you haven’t been proactive in developing good communication with your kids and you have to deal with that. And so my point is, is that the challenge is not new. Yeah. It’s just more in our face now because we’re with people and you can.

Look at that as a blessing in disguise, because you’re actually seeing what a lot of parents just weren’t aware of until it reached the wrong fruit later. Right.

Another really good example, that is this concept of what we can do for school. Everybody is trying to decide right now based upon what are the county and state covid mask wearing requirements, what are what are the different requirements that they’re going to be imposing upon children. And so a lot of people are trying to figure out alternative situations to the public education right now. And so a lot of people are homeschooling, a lot of people trying to find co-ops or they call pandemic pods around the place. Yeah. And so, like little little situations where people are teaming up and doing school together, school. And it is cool, except now for the first time, a lot of parents who may have just gone. Yeah, I just don’t want to deal with that situation. I turned out OK. I’ll put my kids in public school and it was just something that they always did. Now they’re realizing, like, OK, wearing a mask may not be healthiest for my kid. My child has asthma. I don’t want them breathing their own CO2 all day long, like I have to make a decision.

And I never wanted to have to do this. Right. But the reality is, is we should have been evaluating what our kids were learning, who our kids were spending time with, what they were being taught, no matter what, because that’s what a responsible parent should be doing. Right. So the challenge was always there is just now more in their face because there are all these extra side things and we get it.

It can be hard, you know, two people working sometimes and all the challenges of life.

And this is what everybody around you is doing. And so, you know, it’s just easy to be unaware of what you should be aware of. And now we’re becoming more aware of the things we should be aware of. And now that can become a little bit daunting. And so hopefully this is an encouraging episode for you with practical insights. I actually have five keys listed here that we’re going to give you for how to stay motivated, for staying motivated, because there are real challenges and there’s a lot of challenges in the world and we can get bogged down by that and discouraged by that. And there’s some some people that are used to two incomes and right now are going to one income. And so as a marriage, you’re navigating how do we do with less or how do we get a side entrepreneurial thing going or, you know, these kinds of things while still pouring even more time into our kids? Because maybe you’re homeschooling for the first time or things like that.

So and by the way, we do talk about homeschooling from time to time when he gets to know that courageous parenting isn’t about homeschooling, it just so happens that we’ve done it for 20 years.

So. Well, I mean, I wasn’t I mean, I guess I was homeschooling when Kelsey was baby I doing baby sign language with her, but she did go to first grade.

But you can listen to another episode for that.

Yeah, we’ll go into the five keys real quick, but we do want to thank you for helping us with the one million Legacy’s mission, helping God. Do I believe that he put that passion and vision in our hearts and it’s exciting to be on the road. It’s not easy to do this, but we’re happy to do it. We’re delighted to serve and help and do this. And we plan on continuing. Yeah. And if you’ve received a lot of benefit from this and you are trying to figure out where to give, it definitely helps. There’s a donate button at CourageousParenting.com hit the menu. If you are looking for resources, you can also go to CourageousParenting.com and find resources that will help you, that help us, too, or CourageousMom.com. So it’s really exciting to be part of this. So should we dive in?

Yeah, let’s do it. So we were talking about the challenges that people face today. Yeah. And how that can be discouraging.

How that can be demotivating potentially. I mean, how many of you guys have felt like you just want to crawl underneath a blanket and not come out because you’re just overwhelmed? Right. Like, I don’t necessarily feel that way at times. However, I do get overwhelmed at times if I’m honest, real, raw, transparent, I’m just like everybody. And even though I’ve been homeschooling for a long time, every single year, regardless of if we’re using the same curriculum or not, I’m I’m like overwhelmed by the thought that I might screw my kids up.

I got to tell you a secret story real quick. one time Angie was like, Isaac, I need to look at every book we own.

I’m like, OK, well, that involves a big project because we live in a smaller house than we used to, although it’s a great blessing, it’s an awesome house. And so we have all kinds of we have all kinds of stuff in the garage. And to get every book, you have to look through every tub. And I can tell you how many tubs there are. Tubs are labeled. And so we had to pull everything out and look through the tubs. And then I left her I mean, a dozen full tubs of books and things.

And then we have our stainless steel pantries and all the lockers because she’s trying to figure out the adjustments she’s even making to homeschool right now. So.

Yeah, yeah. So I have a. Big job ahead of me this week that could potentially be overwhelming, I’m talking hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of books at least, and that’s not an exaggeration. I know that might seem overwhelming to you, but currently right now I have about 120 books sitting on my kitchen table and I have to go through those after this podcast.

So you’re not alone. I just wanted to bring that reality that she is not just this super mom that’s always got everything dialed. She is amazing. She’s a wonderful person.

I love her as my wife and she’s an amazing mom that I still have to make decisions to make. Does she have to it’s not like I just automatically know at a at a nowhere does it just go, oh, use this curriculum for this child. like that just doesn’t happen. I have to take the time to do the research. I get it. And that can be overwhelming. And you know what else is overwhelming is everyone’s opinions. And and that goes into the first point. Yes, exactly. So stop seeking approval is point number one on how to stay motivated in your parenting in in an uncertain world. But also, I’m just going to say in end times, because it’s been ten times since Jesus. Yeah. You know, resurrected things are happening even more rapidly. Yeah. Right now it’s just kind of crazy, right? I mean, a lot of things are up in the air. We don’t know what the government is going to expect of people regarding vaccinations, for example. Right. There’s a lot of unknowns. There’s a lot of uncertain variables that are going to be being revealed over the next year. Yeah, over the next two years. We have an election coming up that also is going to massively impact school and all decisions and rights that parents have right now. I think. I mean, this is there’s so many things. So can I just say that you have to stop seeking approval from people and only seek approval from God. Yeah. Because he alone is the one who knows the best path for you and your family. He alone knows that. And he will guide you if you are seeking him. But sometimes we can get other people’s voices stuck in our head and it can be a discouragement or a detour. Actually, it can lead us down a detour to what God’s will might be.

So maybe I’ll just give you an example. Maybe you already made a decision that created a little bit of a negative ripple amongst some social circles. You know, that’s more of a conservative decision. I don’t know what it is, but you can just think of whatever that is for you. And now you’re thinking about doing this other new decision. That’s another conservative thing. You’re like, well, if I just do one more, that might be the thing that ostracizes me from this from these people I need to show up to and see a certain thing or whatever the case may be.

And I just remember those situations of Angie dealing with some of that stuff and it really swaying, almost preventing at moments making the best decision for the benefit of being approved in social circles.

I’ll give you an example. Just before our oldest was going into high school. Now, I’ve shared this before. I every time with our oldest, she’s now in college. So I’m obviously no longer homeschooling her. She is in her third year. And I remember every year that I homeschooled her thinking I was inadequate. I wasn’t able to do it. Feeling overwhelmed, not knowing what the right decisions were going to be for her still had to make a decision. I actually had to literally say yes or no to certain things. I had to purchase certain curriculums. You have to make a decision and just do it, OK? And so I would well, just before she was going into high school, we were about to move and four hours away and some of my closest friends that I had been doing homeschool co-ops with and so forth decided to put their kids in schools. Some of them were full time schools. Some of them were private schools. Some of them were like a one day a week school. It is fine, but I’m just sharing what my experience was, which was I started doubting that I was making the right decision because I was fearful that by continuing to homeschool, they wouldn’t want to hang out anymore, wouldn’t have time to, because they’d have different circles.

Yeah. And so that fear of being left out, that fear of not doing the same thing as other people almost prevented me from doing what God wanted for my child. Yeah. Does that make sense? And so I had to reach out to an older woman who was actually mentoring me at the time. And we were meeting every week, every Tuesday. And I just told her what was going on. Yeah. And she just said, Angie, homeschooling during the high school years is where you see the fruit. It’s not the hardest. It’s the easiest and the most fun. And I just was like, that was what I, I she just said, don’t don’t stop now. And I and and I, you know, at that time. So here I am saying don’t seek the approval of other people and I’m at. The same time sharing with you that I sought wisdom from someone older who had homeschooled their kids and and she just she gave me the encouragement that I needed to be me. Yeah, right. And for her to go, you have fruit, right? You have fruit. Why would you change it now? Yeah.

And so I needed someone to speak that truth into my life because all of my friends, potentially, if I would have sought their approval, they would have gone, oh, do what we’re doing. It’ll be so fun.

Do you know what I mean? And so I, I, I just want to tell you guys the story because. Yes, sometimes you need someone to remind you and that’s OK. But I wasn’t going to this older person to get approval from her or even what to do. I was just sharing and she reminded me of the fruit. There already was. She reminded me of the truth. I already knew and pointed me back to the word.

Sometimes you’re going to have less beaten path moments. So you got the two paths. You know, Robert Frost, I think you did this poem. Oh, yeah. Right. To pass paths. Diversion would get it up. Right. So you have the I always picture that and there’s there’s the beaten path and there’s a there’s the cement, the less beaten path. Right. And there’s those less beaten path moments where you might be going against the grain a little bit.

But you feel like that’s the right thing to do. And how do you stay motivated continuing to do the things God’s convicted. Your marriage relationship is you know, you guys are talking to each other about doing together and even when it’s different than the people around you and you just have to embrace those, sometimes you’re in those were in a less beaten path mode right now. And we were just talking about that last night on a date. And so stop seeking approval. But what you do need to do is work strongly together as a married couple.

I think that’s so huge. I know that in the times when I would get overwhelmed and I shared with Isaac, he was always there to not just back me up and like encourage me, which was super, super important because he did. But he also would remind me of the vision that we had committed to together that we had dreamt of together as far as like our legacy and things like that. And that he motivated me is my point.

And so in your marriage, your marriage needs to be you don’t seek approval from one another, but you are one and being one, you remind each other to stop seeking approval from outside people. While you’re one, you’re able to see one. The other person’s being weak and you can exhort them to turn more towards God. You can even pray for them. You can you just you see things that other people don’t necessarily see. And so I know that for us, our marriage has always grown stronger and the harder times versus apart. And and I just want to encourage you guys, this time more than ever, is a time when you need to be investing in the communication in your marriage. You need to be honest with your spouse about the things that are overwhelming you. And that goes for the guys, too. I mean, summer. Oh, yeah. You know, I mean, there’s like if you’re talking about business and stress, financial stresses, all that kind of stuff, like you guys need to be a team together.

I remember so many times, like whether it’s business or not. And you just remind me to go, you know, I married you. I didn’t, you know, marry some picture of how much money we had or, you know, something like that and just encouraging things to help me around the house. But just hearing from her, what really was most important to her relieved that pressure enabled me to do better at certain certain challenging times.

So if that’s you guys right now, where there’s financial challenge, job challenge, business challenges, you know, we’ve been there many times and we understand stick together and stay strong and don’t let anyone come in between you because the devil will try and he will use the most the the most opportunity that he can, the best opportunity I can to try to create that. So you guys got to stay in alignment and you got to strengthen one another.

Stephen, I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children, but Angie and Isaac have done and creating this is literally phenomenal.

This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world.

It has given me a vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids basically like our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things at the heart.

We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children. We have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is.

Do your legacy a favor and yourself a favor and just do it.

One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year, and I could not recommend it more.

We’re no longer fearing dark days ahead, but we’re so excited to raise the lights to be leaders for the next general.

So another aspect to this stop seeking approval is persecution, persecution happens today as believers, obviously, we are not OK with walking in sin and hurting people or being mean to people. We pursue peace at all costs. We want to love people well, we want to be a light for Jesus because our lives are not about us. They’re about glorifying God. And when your vision and your mission is about evangelism, when your mission and your vision for your life is to glorify God, to, then you’re going to be smiling at people in the grocery store. You’re not going to be frowning at them and yelling at them for not wearing a mask or for wearing a mask. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, it’s your approach towards people is one of love and care, not of judgment, condemnation and accusation. And so you’re going to receive persecution. And how we handle that is actually an opportunity for us to be able to bring glory to God. And I think that that’s an important thing. But we also have to be confident enough in who we are in Christ that we can handle it when persecution comes. And it’s I’ll tell you guys persecution super hard. Yeah, I have dealt with you have dealt with it. We we together have dealt with it. And it’s it’s not a fun thing to be persecuted because of how you love the Lord and how you’re choosing to live. Right. Yeah. And I think that a lot of people take advantage of Christians. Can I just say that I think there’s an element where people especially who know what some of what the Bible says, they know that Christians are going to try to be more loving in that way and they abuse that. Yeah. And so what I want to encourage you in is that persecution will come expect it stand strong and firm in the truth and do what God wants you to do regardless.

Yeah, God tells us not to fear anything in this world. And we don’t we literally don’t. Are there moments where we slip into it.

Yes. And then we remind each other and Bible, look, in their mind, we are not to fear anything in this world. We’re only to revere God. The more you revere God bless you fear anything in this world, the more you fear things in the world, the less you’re likely revering God.

And in the word of God, let’s read the word of God. In fact, John. Seventeen fourteenth through nineteen. I have given them your word. And the world has hated them because they’re not of the world. Just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that you should take them out of the world, but that you should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by your truth. Your word is truth.

As you sent me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. So isn’t that so cool? We’re sanctified by God’s truth. The Word of God.

You guys, we chose this particular scripture because the reality is, is we’re all in this world and our kids are in this world. And there are times where it’s hard and we can become discouraged and we can go, I don’t want to be in this world. Right. I don’t want to have to be doing whatever it is. Right. There’s so many things that are being imposed upon everyone, everywhere right now. Right. And so it would be easy to just I mean, we’ve said it. Jesus, will you come back, please, if you are eager for him to come back.

But he says here that he’s given us his word and that the world hates us because we are not looking like them. We are not a question. We stand up for truth and justice and living righteously.

Yeah, we do make mistakes at times. That’s why we need a savior. We do believe in sin. If we didn’t believe in sin, there’d be no need for a savior. So you need to teach your kids what sin is so that they have an inherent need for Jesus for their whole life.

And that is a word that our world is against. That is a word that does not get approval from people out in in la, la land out there.

And if we’re trying to fit in and nothing about our family, the way we do things in the world looks different than you might need to audit what’s going on, because maybe they are different, but then you’re kind of massaging things. So the world you see where you look the same as the world, so you’re accepted.

A lot of times people will. I know that I’ve I you know, let’s just take clothes, for example, wanting to stay trendy so that were more relevant. Right. Like we’re starting to get older.

Are you saying I’m not trendy? I have I have ten different t shirts.

I mean, I think jeans and t shirt, parents. But you know what? Sometimes I’ll say, like when I’m having, like, a low self-esteem kind of day, I look at my closet and I go. I want a new wardrobe or whatever. Right.

But the reality is, is why is that would I be trying to fulfill a feeling of being valued or or more trendy or more accepted based upon what I wear? Right. Like, that would be an example that maybe a teenage kid could relate to. Right. And the reality is, is we need to search our hearts and go, whoa, hold up a second. That’s seeking approval from the world.

But it is OK to be trendy if you want to.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I wear I’m trendy for Bend.

I got my Birkenstocks people all over the world are like. That’s trendy there? It is.

We got all the Olympians, the rock climbers and outdoorsy people here. Anyways, I would just say, though, guys, that we just got to be aware that persecution is going to come and it’s going to come on harder and harder as time goes on until Jesus comes back again. And if we aren’t prepared mentally for that, then we’re going to hurt. It’s going to be hard. And so stop seeking approval. Yes, but the only way to do that, the only way to do that is to be so into the word so strong in your relationship with God that you don’t need other people to say good job. Yeah, right. That’s right. And so, yeah. So number two.

Number two is long term vision is important.

We kind of alluded to that briefly, how we remind each other of the vision, which is important. But the question is, is your marriage even centered on a common vision? You know, you might have a general vision, but is it concrete? Do you have really concrete things that you can put things in the short term against the vision and go, OK, do we need to say yes or no to this?

And if we don’t, then we’ll fall to how we feel, will fall to the approval of others, will fall to overwhelm and frustration.

But really what we need to fall to is what is in alignment to the longer term vision. And that’s the only way things tend to work out in the way you really want them to, is if you look way down the road and you go, how do I want things to be? But for a second, for an exercise, just look back 10 years from now in your life, 10 years back, you go, wow, what are some decisions that you wish you would have made better?

Yeah, I’m sure that all of us can say that there are things that we wish we were.

And then if you think back and go, wow, what if I had just an improved perspective on how I wanted things to be today? Yeah. Ten years ago, what better decisions would have made in the moment when I was frustrated, tired, hungry, whatever. Right. And so now if you can agree to that, that there is opportunities, we for sure can, then you know how important that vision is. OK, so we need to be legacy focused. And but you know what? Some people have a hard time seeing way, way out there. This is a good thing to stretch your even your kids and and seeing long term making decisions today, how they affect the long term.

But really, what do we want? We are hopeful that our kids are believers. Right. We’re hopeful that they have a great marriage. One day. We’re hopeful that they become dedicated parents, biblical parents. Now, there’s probably other things you hope for, but aren’t those like the core? Those are core three awesome things.

Really love Jesus and love Jesus. Yeah. So, you know, it’s not a lot to think about, but if you have a crystallized vision of that, at least then help you make good decisions today because we need to be improved the level of decision making we make today above what parents and past have made because a lot of things are different.

Yeah, I also want to share from Second Timothy three twelve because I think it ties these first two points in together nicely. We talked briefly about persecution and the reality is, is we need to have long term vision, which you were just saying, understanding that that’s going to come right. We need to have long term vision going, OK, how I handle it actually will be an example for my kids. Yeah, either a good one or a bad one on how they should handle persecution. Right. That would be like having long term vision for that, right? Yeah. We if we seek approval of others, guess what our kids are probably potentially going to struggle with? Right. So we need to be really careful to be focused on what God wants us to be focused on. So we’re going to read from Second Timothy, chapter three. So you guys, if you were encouraged by last week’s podcast, we were talking about end times. I just want to encourage you to go and read Second Timothy, specifically chapters three and four. They’re the last two chapters in the book of Second Timothy, and they are talking about perilous times. We are in perilous times talking about perilous men. It’s warning about false teachers, wicked people, and that it says from such people. Turn away, so there you’ve got to have long term vision, understanding that this is just going to continue to get it’s going to get worse, right. So that means that we really have to prepare our kids today for the truth, that it’s going to be worse when they’re our age. Yeah, it’s going to be worse for our grandkids. It’s going to be worse for our great grandkids. Now, some of you might be this isn’t very encouraging and but this is what is encouraging you guys, is what God’s word says, because it’s profitable for all things, including rebuke, exhortation, encouragement.

So chapter three, verse 10 says, But you have carefully followed my doctrine. God is saying follow my doctrine. Yeah, right. That’s his word. We don’t need to guess what that is. You have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life. So your manner of life is following God, right purpose, your purpose in life is following God, faith is godly, right. Long suffering. So you have long suffering with people, loving people, biblically perseverence. That means not stopping. You have continued to do this. So but you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions which are different, which have happened to me at Antioch and at Iconium and lystra what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yes. And all who desire to live Godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. So they will be deceived. Yeah, actually, yeah. OK, but you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of knowing from whom you have learned them. You need to, you need to not stop.

So you guys, if you’ve been on this road of biblical parenting and then all of a sudden you’re going, oh man, I’m just so discouraged what’s happening with politics, maybe, you know, I’m scared. Or maybe you’re in a state and homeschool laws are potentially on the docket to be taken away because that could happen in a few years. That could happen, you guys. That is when we stand up.

Mm hmm. That is not OK. But listen, it says but you must continue. And the things which you have learned and been assured of knowing from whom you have learned them.

You know how to parent biblically, don’t stop what a God saying don’t stop, and that from childhood you have known the holy scriptures.

This if this is not you, it is the story of your kids. If you are faithful to teach them the scriptures, that they are able to make you wise for salvation through faith, which is in crisis.

I just want to point out, this is there’s so many places in the Bible that affirm and encourage women and the strength of women and how amazing they are. And this is one of those incredible places.

So this is in Timothy Timothy and it’s talking about don’t forget where you learn these things from childhood, from childhood, from your your actually says later from your grandma and your and your mom and that you learned all these incredible things. It’s not bragging about the dad right there. Not that maybe his dad wasn’t president, I don’t know. But it’s really bragging about the women in his life. And I thought that was pretty cool.

Yeah, that’s in a different part of the Book of Timothy. But I just think that this is an incredible encouragement to us who might potentially get frustrated and go, oh, I don’t know if I’ve been doing things right. I don’t know. But that whole time, maybe you were following Scripture and you go, oh, I don’t know. Remember this.

This is saying you must continue. And the things which you have learned and been assured of knowing from whom you’ve learned them and that from childhood you have known the holy scriptures which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith, which is in Christ Jesus. These are able to make you wise. Yeah, that is what the word of God does. It makes you wise. Other people do not make you wise, although the Bible does encourage us to seek wise counsel. But that’s a whole nother episode in which you really got to look at the fruit in someone’s life before you go and get any kind of counsel from them.

So, hey, we’ve gone over two of the five keys to how to stay motivated parenting an uncertain world in this two part series. And so in the next part, we’re going to go over the importance of growing. And we have some great examples of how we had to grow in resources we’ve used and we’ll mention some of those. Respecting the challenge ahead, certainly in uncertain times and the importance of persevering and how to do that.

And I just want to also tell you guys, you know, if you’re in that position where you’re trying to figure out what you’re doing for school and stuff and you need some biblical encouragement, you have to check out. If you haven’t heard of the homeschooling blueprint, course it is a six video course that Isaac helped me to create for you guys that teach all of the most foundational aspects to getting going in homeschooling. It’s also good for the seasoned mom who needs encouragement. And a reminder, as far as like what is her vision behind homeschooling. Yeah, we talk about learning styles, approaches to homeschooling. I even have a video that took me 16 hours to go through all of my curriculum and I actually show you the different curriculums. We also collaborated with a lot of different companies and we have coupons in the Blueprint Roadmap, which is a huge downloadable that you get when you get the course. So you can find out about that.

Yeah, and it’s good for the new homeschooler, the one thinking about it short term because of covid to the most seasoned. And we’ve gotten testimonials from all of the like that are raving about it. And it’s really motivational, practical and gives you the resources you need to make decisions, which is pretty cool.

Yeah. So just if you go to a CourageousParenting.com and you hit the little what did you call that, a hamburger button. The menu button. You on the top left corner. Right. Yeah. You will see a link that says home school blueprint and you can just click on that and watch our video that tells you more about that. If that’s something that would be an encouragement to you, I hope you take advantage of.

Well, we hope you like this and share it. And it helps when you give a five star review on iTunes to just tapping it simply. And join us for next week’s second part to this series. We look forward to see you next time.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s an incredible community. You’ll have access to a private online group, live webcast and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragement straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentorship program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com

That’s CourageousParenting.com

Scripture In This Episode:

Romans 1:20-25 – “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.”

Colossians 2:8 – “Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ.”

1 John 4:1 – “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

Romans 16:17-18 – “Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple.”

2 Timothy 4:3-4 – “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.”

1 Corinthians 2:12 – “Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.”

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom, and I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married 20 years and have seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically. Based on the raw truth found in the Bible, we can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Welcome back to the podcast.

Hey, guys, we’re so excited to do this episode because it’s so relevant to the way the world’s going, isn’t it?

It is. So we are going to be talking about five keys to raising independent thinkers. And this is relevant. Why, Isaac?

Well, it’s because so many people believe simple things, they say, and they don’t do research. And there’s a naivete today to really get the masses towards wrong belief, even Christians.

Well, and I think as parents, don’t we all we want a fun life for our kids. We don’t want them to be bogged down with the weight of this world. And sometimes because we love our kids so much, we can, you know, make the mistake of overprotecting or over sheltering our kids from the truth and the realities that are going on in the world. We don’t tend to do that. But I know a lot of parents that struggle with that a lot to where their kids are just unaware of what’s happening in the world. So then when they do step out into the world, it’s such a stark difference that they don’t know how to actually reconcile that in their mind and how to operate in a world that is so different from like the home in the world that their parents created for them.

So just for example, suicide is massively higher than it used to be. It’s the second leading cause of death to ages.

I think it’s seven to 14.

And it’s but it’s rising, rising, especially in the last six months. And so the question is, you know, at some point you’re going to have to have a conversation with your kids about that. Right. And how many other topics are you going to have to have a conversation or have a conversation about all the to all the topics?

I mean, I even think it’s already being quarantined. Right. Like a lot of families are more quarantined than they’ve ever been before. Parents still need to find ways to work. And so kids are oftentimes I’ve seen this. I’ve heard of this kids left unsupervised, right with a video game or whatever. And then eventually they find their way to pornography and they can become addicted to it and struggle with it. Right. So obviously, you need to have those conversations with your kids, too.

You need to have like a system set up to protect your kids, but you also need to equip them. Right? Protecting them not and preparing them for the world is actually equipping them with the tools they need to be able to fight against the evils, attacks, the enemy’s attacks towards them.

You want to be the first one to introduce these topics to your kids because you were the got authorized leaders of your kids lives while their grown up well, and you want to make sure that what’s told to them is accurate.

I’m sorry. I mean, the reality is, is like you you don’t know what the other neighbor kid is going to tell your child. Yeah. You don’t know what’s accurate.

Right in. There will be other leaders in their lives, of course. But for sure you should have that first point of contact with them about these tough subjects and give them a biblical perspective on these things. And even beyond a biblical perspective, give them an understanding of why that’s happening in the world, what’s going on in the world. Talk about morals. Yes, but then you have to temper it and season it with no fear.

Right. And that actually is only able to happen if you don’t have fear as a parent right now. If you don’t all of a sudden, like, get overly protective and not let your kids outside.

And what are we seeing rampant in culture today? Just fear about all kinds of things.

Absolutely everything.

And I think the enemy is using fear to divide us o- on so many topics, you guys. So being independent thinkers. So, you know, I want we’re and dive into that. But first we just wanted to say thank you.

We are at exactly a year and a half of doing ministry. That’s amazing. Hit me because today is actually our oldest daughter’s 20th birthday. Yeah. And it’s six months after January. So anyway, it just like dawned on me that we are at a year and a half of doing courageous parenting.

And so we just wanted to say thank you to you guys because you’ve been a huge part of that. And it’s been encouraging. Like when we first set out, it was because honestly, like we’ve had both encouraging friendships with people, but also been discouraged as we’ve been parenting our kids in the world.

Right. Like putting kids in different sports and different activities and going, wow, I can’t believe that these kids are so disrespectful to the coaches. And they’re they’re cursing at the kids.

And they are like nine years old, and I would say in some instances we’ve experienced that and in some instances we have experienced amazing things with an amazing coach and many kids. It just depends on the situation.

Right. But just being out and being active, you can see both within a team. Right. Like you can you see that? You see that. And it’s just really sad. It’s sad to me that parents like kids talk to their parents the way they talk to them. And in a lot of times, I think that kids forget that parents have feelings, too, that they’re human, too. And and so we want to encourage you. You are the parents. You’re listening today. We want to encourage you. We want to be part of encouraging is helping to give courage. Yeah, I love that. Right. To help build up courage is to encourage.

So the one million legacy movement is alive and well. We’re super excited to be part of it. And what helps is when you share on social media anything we’re doing, even the podcast.

Yeah. Reviews on iTunes is huge.

And all you have to do is tap to give a five star review on iTunes to so or wherever you listen, there’s probably a way to do it and share the message. So we are so encouraged by that we have a scripture to kick things off.

Ok, so we’re going to talk about why it’s important that our kids are independent thinkers.

But we wanted to read from Romans chapter one, verse 20-25first. OK, so just bear with me here. Chapter one twenty says first, since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes are clearly seen being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and godhead so that they are without excuse, because although they knew God, they did not glorify him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, futile in their thoughts. You guys, is what we’re talking about, being independent thinkers, being they became futile in their thoughts and their foolish hearts were darkened, professing to be wise. They became fools and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like a corruptible man and birds and four footed animals and creeping things. Therefore, God also gave them up to uncleanliness in the loss of their hearts to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worship the search and served the creature rather than the creator who is blessed forever. Amen. There is so much in this passage that we can unpack.

There’s the danger of idolatry. There is.

And I got to tell you, like this is one of the main triggers for Isaac and I as why we’re talking about why it’s so important that you raise your kids to be independent thinkers, that they’re able to actually discern that they can see these things, that they are able to go hold on a second.

Doesn’t the Bible say that making an idol out of something is bad? And so when they see that someone is making an idol out of themselves or out of something else. Right. They’re able to discern that and go false teaching and walk away.

And that’s super important because you guys, parenting is a long game, but your kids are only with you twenty percent of their life. And so you have to do your best to equip them because they’re going to be exposed to all kinds of deception and lies.

Yeah, well, it’s going to point number one, how to listen and ask questions. That is so important because oftentimes we’re busy. We have our own agendas and kids want to talk to us. And it’s hard to decipher when it’s just, you know, sometimes they say things that, frankly, aren’t super important.

Right. They’re just sometimes they’re just talking depending on the age of the kid. Like you’re talking about older kids. That’s definitely a lot less.

But sometimes they’re actually an opportunity to go deeper and there’s always really that opportunity. And so I think it’s as if we’re to give a tip today. The first tip would be to slow down and to really try and listen to what your kids are actually saying and what’s behind what they’re saying that tells you where they’re at so that you know how to take them to a deeper understanding and whatever you’re talking about.

Yeah, I would say that, like, if we were to group kids in like categories, there might be different advice that I would give to parents of, like, really little kids. Right. So to help them to start thinking deeper, you as a parent have to listen to be able to know what questions to ask. Yeah, right. But asking kids questions over and over again gets them in the habit of thinking deeper and going to the next question. Right. Because a question is really what takes you to your deeper thinking. And that’s something that I’ve noticed that you’ve been really good at and that I kind of adopted over the years as a mom in the home with the kids, especially when they were little.

Also not and we teach this in the parenting mentor program, but a lot of parents get frustrated when their kids ask the question why? And I would say there’s two different kinds of whys. Right. There’s the defiant why. That’s like your you’re asking them to pick up their room and they’re like, why? And they’re being different. And that’s not the kind of why I’m talking about. I’m talking. Out, why did God make water?

Why why is it raining, mom, or like they oftentimes will ask these questions sometimes from a selfish standpoint, right. Like maybe they wanted to go play outside and then it started raining.

Why did this happen? And so it’s important that we are not discouraging those questions, but we’re actually digging into those questions deeper with our kids. And so if you’ve been the parent that’s ever been discouraged with little kids going, oh, I’m so annoyed, why are they always asking why? Why, why, why? Why? Well, I would just encourage you that that’s a good thing.

You have a child that actually has the ability to think deeper about things and sometimes depending on how you’re wired, your personality and so forth, you might just be a teller, especially with your kids. Because I want to get to I want to shortcut this because I got to get back focused on what I’m doing. And sometimes you need to be focused on what you’re doing. I get that, but you want to be less of a teller and more of a asker and it really challenges people to think deeper.

So if you you know, hey, I know the answer. I think I have a good answer for that. But I’d love to hear your answer first. That’s just a great way to go. Well, my parents do have wisdom. They’re always going to be there for me to answer my questions. But, wow, my dad really wants to know what I think about that. And instead of just being the person that they just ask every question for, you’re starting to get them to work that muscle to think for themselves and still ask you questions.

And I would say that this what you’re describing can really start. I mean, you have to discern because ages, you know, kids ages are not cookie cutter as far as when they’re capable to get to this point. But I would say, like eight, nine, 10 years old, you’re able to start doing this where you’re role playing. We’ve talked about role playing a lot, but asking the kids questions and going, hey, what do you think? How could you have done that better? Oh, you’re just you’re fighting with your sister or whatever. Like, why do you think she responded the way she did? Could you have done that better? How could you have communicated better? See how instead of just telling them what they did over and over again, you’re actually leading them to come up with the solution because people are more likely to do it if it’s their idea.

Now, think fast forward when your kids are doing things with teachers, coaches, professors at college, whatever the situation, bosses. And they’re they really look up to these people for various reasons, which is great. But then they say something and your are your kids just automatically going to take it in because they have respect for that person on a certain level, maybe an academic level or whatever, or are they going to go have a like receive it and then decipher it and know if they need to question it?

And that’s really important.

And if they don’t think for themselves when they’re younger and you’re cultivating that in them, a lot of times what we’re seeing in society is a lot of people that take information that’s shallow and not very deep and they just adopted as truth when they hear it because it feels right, right.

They go, oh, it just feels right. That’s actually a huge conviction of a lot of people today. Do what you feel, do it’s right to you, live your truth versus live the truth.

Right. And so and there’s a huge difference. Like if you’re a believer, then you believe the whole Bible. You don’t just cherry pick scriptures here and there because the Bible actually says in revelation not to add to or take from the word of God or even make another book of life, meaning not saved. Right. Like and we don’t get we don’t have to deal with that. Praise God he’s in charge of that.

But we have another passage of scripture here that’s in Colossians, chapter two, verse eight. And this is another reason why this is such an important topic is because there’s a lot of deceit out there.

So our kids need to be able to discern what is truth and what is deceit.

Yeah, right. So here’s here’s chapter two, verse eight. It says beware.

So that means you’re looking at your being aware.

Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit according to the tradition of men, according to basic principles of the world and not according to Christ.

So this is I mean, guys, we have to actually teach our kids that there is empty deceit. What are some examples of that? Well you come across this stuff all the time with fake news? Fake news is literally everywhere. And so I just think that it’s important that people think for themselves and they go, oh, hold on a second, that accusation is being made against that person, for example. But that person’s not even old enough to have been around like they need to think and go.

That’s that’s laughable. That’s so idiotic. Right. And so but that’s how it took deductive thinking in my brain, where I go A plus B does not equal C in this situation.

I think I saw somebody in the public eye saying there’s what’s missing right now is simple logic and logic. Exactly. If this happens, then that happens and then that happens and then it causes this to happen, right. And a lot of times there’s a breakdown in the logic, but nobody I shouldn’t say nobody, but many people aren’t thinking about where that breakdown is. Instead, they’re saying, well, this happened. So that happened. But what about the broken logic before that?

Ok. So it’s really important to be instilling thinking in your kids. In fact, our kids learn logic, don’t they?

Yeah. I mean, our oldest four have all gone through multiple years of logic, training, both traditional logic and then introductory and and deeper logic. And it’s intense. I’ve done the curriculums with them and it’s helped me to actually it’s it’s actually enriched my reading of scripture. And I just would encourage anyone who has an opportunity to read some books on thinking and thinking logically, because it really opens your eyes to connect the dots and to connect the dots from the Bible to the world. Make it really relevant to today, which is what we’re talking about today. It’s often what we’re talking about in the podcast. Number two, in our list of five keys to raising independent thinkers is to teach them how to research reason and discern. So the first one was how to listen and ask. And now we’re going to talk about how to research reason and discern. But you have some scripture for us.

Yeah. Matthew, 715, says were quick there. Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing. But inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits.

Ok, so it is so true. Like all over the place there’s half truths, a little biblical wisdom and then make you feel good and then you believe it. And if you’re not in the word of God, you’re going to fall for false teaching and your kids are as well. So you need to be diligent yourself. You need to understand. And what do we always want to research first? What is the word of God actually say about this? Not just cherry picking the scripture that will validate it, but taking the context of what the whole Bible saying is important so. Right.

And so another aspect. So when you’re talking about how to teach your kids how to research, part of that is you’re going to give them tools and show them how to use those tools. Right. So a lot of times the Internet is a tool that people use to look things up. It’s a great tool, but you need to be careful with that tool, put boundaries around that tool, especially depending on the age. The younger the child, the more boundaries. Right. But then also you’re going to have to if they’re going to be on the Internet, you have to have the conversations with them regarding pornography, sex trafficking, predators. Right. You’re going to have to have those hard conversations, because if you don’t, then you have actually set your kids up for failure in the sense of they could be in danger. Yeah. And so we have to be aware and teaching our kids, but using tools, not realizing that, like, the Internet is an amoral thing. It’s not good or bad. It can be used for good or bad. We have to teach our kids how to use it properly. And part of that is showing them how we do right. Having accountability. You have to have accountability if you want your kids to. And so valuing also the importance on that.

Real quick, you hit a really important topic right now. If you were to open your laptop and you opened your browser in history and in your kids knew how to look at everything in your laptop, would you feel comfortable with that?

That’s a great question, because I would feel comfortable with that.

In fact, I do there’s many times where because our kids work with us, they are using my laptop or they want to watch a movie on it when we’re camping or whatever. Yeah. And I’m not afraid of any notifications popping up. I’m not afraid of them using my browser or anything. Praise God. And so I think that is important because until you have that kind of integrity, it’s hard for you to teach them.

Yeah, that’s true. So using the tools properly, showing them how to use them, showing them how to be careful themselves so that they’re actually guarding their own mind and their own heart, especially the older that they get. OK, so another aspect of teaching them how to reason in and discern is actually teaching them how to how to diagnose or detect selfish motives in their own hearts as to why they’re thinking what they’re thinking. Right. Because isn’t it true that a lot of times people’s convictions or opinions or beliefs about things are actually just to validate their own personal convictions, which make them feel good? A lot of times it’s selfishness.

We are very self preserving as human beings. So we have to acknowledge that. And I think it’s good for your kids to experience and start to acknowledge, is this a self preserving thing or is this truth? Is this make me feel good and validate my resistance to to to something, to the truth of God? Or is this true truth I need to be aware of?

Right.

And so we need to teach them how to evaluate if they have selfish motives as to why they’re believing the thing that they’re thinking or if it’s actually based on truth.

So how do you how do you do that with younger kids as kids grow up pointing out when they’re being selfish? You know, I’m this is the thing also pointing out when you’re being selfish and apologizing like it’s both things, it’s it’s recognizing, OK, so asking questions so that they go, oh, yeah, I’m just being selfish, right. Where like with little kids, you have the conversation. So why did you steal that popsicle from your brother. You already had one.

Oh, because I wanted one. Well, was that selfish, you know, like having those why are you not sharing like it starts at that level, but then as the kids grow older to go, OK, so what?

What you’re just asking the question, what is it that’s in your heart, buddy? Mm hmm.

Hey, man, what’s going on? Why why are you fighting this? Is it because you’re really not wanting to admit that you’re wrong? Because that’s selfish, like your pride, like see how we’re using biblical vocabulary. And I know I just put out a term that maybe you’ve heard a couple of times. We go in depth on biblical vocabulary in the very first Facebook Live of the courageous parent mentor program, where we actually talk a lot about what is a biblical vocabulary and give you guys some tools. But it’s really important that you’re raising your kids from the time they’re little with a biblical vocabulary that helps to build the biblical worldview. Right.

And speaking of the parent mentor program, just take a moment here. We would love to have you join us. I think it’s almost 500 couples that have gone through the parenting mentor program already.

And we’re getting absolute rave reviews. Praise God, because he was all over inspiring us to do this and giving us help in doing this and so forth. And it really is the biblical truth. Our experience raising eight kids, ages two to 20 now.

Yeah. And with four teenagers right now. Just about 12, actually. Yeah. Five if you can. Five critical 12 count 12 as a teenager almost there.

So in all in between and one’s an adult I would say our 17 year olds in the adult too. Yeah. I mean we really have to. So anyways enough of that about that. But we take all that experience and all the books we’ve read over the years and we distilled it down to really a blueprint of getting the wisdom you need to help you make your own decisions and you’re not going to follow everything. Precisely. No family’s the same, but it helps you to think about things and it helps you to be aware and how to equip your kids. You are strong in this uncertain world.

I would say that you just I mean, we’re talking about independent deep thinkers here in this podcast. And that’s actually one of the things that I love the most about the courageous parenting program, is that we’ve put in so many assessment questions in those parenting packets. Yeah. And during the Q&A time in the Facebook lives, parents are asking deeper questions. They can ask anything. What’s awesome is that there’s like really deep questions forcing other people to actually think about and discuss the hard topics that sometimes you don’t really talk about as a married couple that you need to talk about.

Yeah, and that’s what I love, is that it’s not we’re we’re not giving you a recipe. We’re not giving you an equation. Because guess what? You can’t save your kids. Only God can. But we are giving you guided questions, topics you need to discuss, encouragement to do the hard things, you know, all of that. And so I just really want to encourage you guys to check that out. CourageousParenting.com Yeah. OK, so let’s continue on. So we just talked about how to listen and ask good questions, both you as a parent, but also teaching your kids to do that. We talked about teaching them how to research reason and discern. And before we jump into the third thing, I thought it would be really awesome if you shared a little bit about Socratic learning, because it’s something we’ve done with our kids. And I know that you always get excited aut itb.

Oh, it’s huge. So so a lot of times and this isn’t always the case, but in traditional education, which can be good. And, you know, if you’re doing that, that’s totally fine. Yeah. It’s just that you want to make sure you have deep conversations with them when they get home to know what they learn. That’s good. And know what they have been influenced by that maybe doesn’t align with biblical truth or things like that. Yeah, that’s a that’s the only thing. So we’re not against formal education, in a traditional way. But a lot of times it’s the teacher for most of the class period talking to the students. And what we have experienced is getting kids together and discussing what they’ve already learned, and that’s Socratic dialogue and where they’re talking about what they learned and discussing and debating it. Right. And one kid goes up to the board and and leads something and then the other kids talk about it. And and what we’ve experienced from that is a much richer learning experience where they actually remember it much more because they’re part of the learning process.

They’re discussing it and they’re contemplating it. And they’re talking about really big, deep things. Like I even think about like they read To Kill a Mockingbird and they The Witch from Blackbird Pond. And, you know, then there’s they also are reading literature like Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice and and they’re dealing with like moral issues and discussing it among themselves with other kids that are their age.

That’s like and you’d be surprised, massively different opinions on things even within the Christian community.

And it’s been good for the kids to have to actually defend what they believe in. Why figure out what they believe and why and be able to talk about that both from a biblical perspective, but also just using logic and not even bringing the Bible into it and talking really, really in.

Talk about accountability of making sure you understand things before class.

Oh, yeah, because you’re not going to have to discuss it and some tutors even have the rule of like you can’t discuss unless you’ve done the homework.

So it’s kind of like so so so we homeschool, but we have a hybrid version of it. Co-ops and different things we do.

So so anyway, the point is, is that you could do this at home even if you didn’t do the co-op by having these deep discussions with your kids about what they are reading and what they’re learning and they’re discussing. Right. The point is, is that they’re actually engaging with the material, the concepts, the things they’re being taught. They’re thinking through it deeply and going, is this truth or is this a lie? Is this deceit? And if it’s truth, what is how does that change how my worldview is affected?

Right. Because remember, it’s not it’s not the knowledge that is important, although it is important. But what’s most important is do they know how to learn? And are you connecting? Are they making connections in their brain? That create this independent thinking and strength.

Right. Right. And so I have another scripture here for you guys.

It’s in first John, chapter four, verse one, which says, let’s see here, beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God because many false prophets have gone into the world. And then it just continues. I would encourage you actually to read Marks. It talks about the Antichrist in the flesh, in every spirit that doesn’t confess Jesus Christ as Lord. And this is really an important passage. And it says you are of God, little children and have overcome them because he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. So I’m sharing that little that little passage there with you as well, which is verse four, because a lot of times parents can become overwhelmed and get scared. And they because the reality is, is that this exists in the world today.

There are false teachers, there are wolves, there are people that are teaching half truths, half gospels, and they’re leading people astray into sin, actually advocating for sin. That’s going to put them in deeper bondage. Yeah. And it’s I mean, I even think of Matthew where it says it would be better for it, like for someone who leads a little monastery to have a millstone tied around their neck and be thrown to the depths of the sea. We’re talking about raising kids here. It is important that we are teaching them the truth and not false truth and not leading them into sin. And so I just want to encourage you guys, these are the things that you need to be talking to your kids about.

You need to teach them how to research, teach them how to reason, but teach them how to discern, which means you actually have to teach them that there is an enemy, that there are people out there who are not for you. And we’re seeing this even more now than ever all over social media. It’s such a toxic place. People are not for people a lot of times. And I mean, feminism is like anti men right there. One of their mottos is the the future is women. Right.

By the way, if you take the dictionary definition of feminism, I’m all for it. Oh, it’s awesome. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But the way feminism is being depicted in society right now, how it’s being used actually against men is is just which is really something that’s not productive.

What it is doing is it’s actually there’s a lot of things this is happening to actually in our world today and we need to be aware of it.

Imagine being a kid and being ashamed that you’re a boy because you’re being raised by people who hate men. Mm hmm. That should be considered illegal. Yeah, like that is dangerous. Imagine the identity of the kid. Imagine any kid like everyone is made in God’s image. And if they’re raised in a home that is ashamed of any way that they are created, everybody’s equal value and esteem.

It just makes me mad, actually. But so we just need to be careful. So number three is model it. This is an easy one.

We’ve got a model. You have to we’ve already talked about this a bit, but you they have to see you discussing things. Do you discuss things in your marriage in front of them? Ideas, concepts, things happening in the world where they see deep thinking? You know, I know that you do that, right. You’re you’re talking about different things. And I’m jumping in or I’m talking about things. You’re jumping in all the time. Right.

So, I mean, yeah, a lot of it. When we are talking about modeling deep thinking, it means that you actually are valuing one another as a spouse to help each other have the time to actually read. Yeah. To be challenged in your thinking, to discuss things, to not just like you guys, if you go out on a date night, you don’t have something to talk about right now. What is going on? Can I just say what is going on? There is so much happening in our world. You guys have so much you should be able to talk about to challenge each other. And you’re thinking the Bible is like I mean, we’re constantly I feel like we don’t ever get enough time to talk about things, oh, I know.

We’re always talking and and we’re encouraging each other and even exhorting each other. In fact, you exhorted me last night and I was really. Really appreciative of it.

You know, we were first and we’re always like super appreciative at first, I know that sometimes my my flesh can be like, hey, hold on a second. I don’t like that. Right. Because your pride sets in a little bit and you hang on. Yeah, I know I’ve done that.

But and then when you soften up, you go, no, they’re for me. They’re not against me. That’s my team member.

We all have blind spots. And if your spouse can’t call out a blind spot and who can?

Amen. And so you guys, there are deep things that you got to talk about. Sometimes you have to be reminded of what your world view of your friends should be, what your world view of the church should be, what your world view of society should be.

So are you modeling, taking feedback from others? You modeling accountability? Are you modeling deep thinking? Are you modeling, reading in front of your kids? Do they see that you know or are you a hypocrite?

Because if you aren’t doing these things, the opposite is a hypocrite. And we know that your kids are not going to want to follow your leadership or get your advice or have deep conversations with you, which is what you really want. They’re not going to do that if they think that you’re a hypocrite.

So Romans, 16:17-18. Now, I urge you, brother, note those who cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which you learned and avoid them for those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly by the smooth words, flattering speech, deceive the hearts of the simple, super, super important.

So this is the reason why we I mean, obviously the scripture kind of goes more with point to about discerning, right? Because our kids need to discern these these types of people. But at the same time, it does go with three regarding modeling it, because we have to discern and we have to be willing to make boundaries and relationships sometimes if there’s a bad influence or there’s just not like mindedness, we have to I remember our son deciding this on his own in a situation where it’s like, you know, I’m not seeing the fruit.

I tried tried to be like he’s being a bad influence. And then I had to, you know, create some distance. And I just think it’s important to encourage your kids, teach your kids model and then they will live it out and point for is value the thoughts and perspectives, even if they’re different than exactly how you see things.

So obviously people are thinking, oh, this is more like a teenager thing, but it’s actually not. Can I just say it’s actually not? So it starts out when you have the two year old and go, what do you think about this?

Do you like this book? Do you like this food?

Do you like see how you’re valuing them? You’re asking them questions and their perspectives and you go, oh, you really don’t like strawberries? I love strawberries. See how you can disagree, but you can still be loving to them and go. But I can understand that you wouldn’t like strawberries and you value it. Go. That’s OK. What do you like. And there like I like blueberries you go Oh I don’t really like blue.

So it starts out when kids are little and then it moves into when they’re like in those in-between years. Right. Like, like seven, six, seven years old to like twelve years old where you’re starting to really go, hey, good, good idea buddy.

And then like if you go, hey guys, what do you want to do as a family today. Right. And all the teenagers might have ideas or but hey you go hey to the nine year old.

What do you think we should do today?

And then you make it happen. Then all of a sudden they’re like, whoa, they value my opinion. They liked my idea and they grow a little bit in confidence. Yeah. Do you see that? We’re like when we’re talking about a passage of scripture during Family Bible time, right.

And you go, OK, what do you guys think of that? And some people have more gregarious personalities. They’re just going to pop up with their own things. But you notice that that kid right there, that tends to be more quiet. Yeah. Needs to be drawn out. Go. Hey, so-and-so, what do you think about that, how you’re valuing their perspective on that passage of scripture that you just read? Yeah. And then you can validate it even more by going, wow, that that really is good insight. I mean, I can tell you a million times that I’ve been encouraged by my kids insights and scripture and the truth that they’ve shared totally. And so you’re not learning from your kids. You’re missing out.

You are totally missing out. Have faith like a child. Jesus said yes. Let the children come to me. Right.

So another aspect to this of valueing in their thoughts and perspectives is being a good listener, listening to them, but also being patient in your understanding and getting you know what? They’re younger than you. They don’t have as many things figured out. Right. So you let them figure things out. Right. So sometimes your kid might have a different perspective on something. Right. And you can go, OK, well, I believe what I believe because of this and you show them what you believe in scripture. And if they still are like, you know what, I just disagree. Yeah, OK, you go ahead.

And I would say there there’s there’s some of our teenagers that have a slight difference of opinion about covid and what’s going on then. And we love talking about it. We don’t get heated, but we have we have our different perspectives.

By no means do we like Lord over our kids or expect them to have the same beliefs as us at all, actually, when it. Comes to like those kinds of things, it’s like, well, really a bit like we want them to have their own beliefs, we want to have their own faith. That’s why we’ve always raised them to be independent thinkers and take on their own faith. Right. But what happens when you’re doing that and you’re proactively encouraging them and you’re being patient with them? I find that more times than not they tend to come around if you’re reasonable in your conviction to now, if you’re like extreme in one thing.

Right, then they might not that wants to come back to an unreasonable person and talk about it again.

No, no, no. You’ve got to stay reasonable the whole time and to have Grace with one another. Right.

Well, this reminds me. I just wanted to share a story when our oldest was just turned 16, she really had a perspective. She was interested in law school. Yep. Very academic, still interested in law school, still very academic and read voraciously. Very smart. And we always knew that she probably would be on a college track, not because we’re pushing college, but because she just loves to learn all that. Right. And so we’re always encouraging of what she felt called to do.

And she goes while there’s a Stanford Law and trial thing at Stanford, like a 10 day program day program on the Stanford campus and guys and girls and living in dorms, living in dorms and people, not a faith based thing, obviously.

And so just just a totally different thing out in the world. And and so we listened. Right. Did I have a little moment of. Oh, she that old already?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. It’s like for your first and but then I held it back and I’m like just listening.

And sometimes we need to put our moments of fear aside and listen. And then I was reminded really quickly of like now she’s prepared for this. She’s an independent thinker. This is what we’ve why we’ve raised them to be independent thinkers so we don’t have to fear and they can go do things in impact in the world even before they’re out of our homes. Right. And so that was the whole perspective. And so then we got excited about it.

She raised money for it and she went went and it was eye opening on a lot of levels and a lot of I mean, honestly, you guys, she came back with more of an appreciation for her family and for how she was raised, which was a huge blessing because she was hearing countless stories where people were so sad.

It’s just don’t have good relationships with their parents. And like, she would meet people who said they were Christian, but then they were living in sin or not. They they actually weren’t a believer. Like if she would ask them personal questions about their faith, they couldn’t answer them because it was, oh, well, I just grew up going to the church with my grandma every once in a while.

And she received some persecution or most people saw things differently than her. And she stood her ground and she was able to be articulate.

And she got some really good conversation and earned the respect of people that saw things differently.

Yeah, and she did very well. And so I just I was really, you know, that’s you know, that’s what you want. You want your kids to be so strong in in what they believe in the world and strong in relationship with God in understanding the ways of the world and being a good independent thinker by age 15, 16, that you can trust them to go do those things, right.

Yeah. And I know that for us, like there was a point where something happened on the campus that she was really nervous about. And a lot of parents are bringing their kids home. Right. Right. And she was like, hey, are you guys going to bring me home? Right.

And we’re like, well, actually, we trust you, what do you think? And she was like, Oh, do you think you’re safe? Yeah, OK, well, then you can stay really OK. And we’re like, all right. The moment you don’t feel safe, we will come get you.

Yeah. If you want to like, you know, and for her to have that trust, it was so empowering to her and it was empowering for our relationship with her because she was not expecting that she had not been put in a situation yet like that.

Yeah, that was that intense. And so, you guys, I just want to encourage you that you have to trust God with your kids. You know, you just have to.

But this isn’t a prescription for you to go. Let your kids do whatever you have to know. Your unique kid. Yep. That out the situation. Listen to god. Oh, yeah. Make your own decision.

Ok, so the fifth and final key to raising independent thinkers is preparing them and equipping them with a biblical worldview and paradigm. And a lot of times, people, they they know where we’re going to go with this. Right. They’re going to they think we’re going to read from Romans twelve. But we expect that you have that scripture memorized because we’ve talked about that so many times in this podcast. We’re actually going to read from Second Timothy four and First Corinthians two in a second. If you want to flip with us, you can. And I just want to encourage you that this really comes down to what your purpose in life is.

So if you’re raising your kids with them, having an understanding of what their purpose in life is, then this drastically changes everything for their deep thinking process.

Right. Because if it comes back to a selfless love, God love others great comission, because that’s eternal salvation.

It changes the way you look at everything. Yeah, actually. And so for us, teaching your kids to be able to detect their own issues that they’re struggling with right there in her attitudes and all the things, to be honest about that, to repent to God. Right, to if they need help, ask for accountability. It changes things right. And if they are aware of those things, when they’re thinking about a specific topic, they’re more likely to think more biblically versus selfishly. Yeah, or fleshly.

Right. So second, Timothy, chapter four, verse three through four. I’m actually in started to it says preach the word, preach the word. So not only should you preach the word to your kids, but preach it in the word world and your kids should also be preaching the word if they are believers. Right. Preach the word.

Be ready in season and out of season. So all the time convince you have to convince people, rebuke. You have to rebuke people, exhort. You have to exhort people with all longsuffering and teaching for the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine. That time has come.

People are not enduring sound doctrine. We are here people, but according to their own desires, they’re picking theologies and philosophy desires that that fit their desires. They don’t have to change out of their sin so they can continue in their bondage because they have itchin ears. They will heap up for themselves teachers and they will turn their ears away from the truth and be turned aside to fables.

So itching ears for what matches the way they want to be versus orientating their life to the way God wants them to be. That matches the Bible.

That’s right. And it says continues. It just says be. But you be watchful and all things endure afflictions do the work of an evangelist and fulfill your ministry. Hmm. Guys, we are all in ministry for parents. Yeah. We need to endure we need to fulfill the ministry that God set before us. We need to evangelize. We need to teach. That’s teaching discipline your kids in the world. That’s what he’s calling us to do.

You want your kids to love God so much that they want to obey him. It’s out of love. It’s not so much out of a discipline. We can only be disciplined so far, but it’s out of a love for God and the Holy Spirit being active and present in us, calling us forward to obedience, to live a life that is fruitful.

So we’re going to read from First Corinthians two twelve, next. But before Isaac jumps into that scripture, I just want to encourage you guys that we get that there is a lot of discouraging things out there and that sometimes, like you can be even going to a church and not know who believes what sitting next to you in a pew. You may not even know how the pastor of your church is, what they believe on certain doctrinal issues or how they’re parenting. Right.

So you have to lead yourself. You have to be an independent thinker and know what you believe with a biblical worldview for you. You’re responsible for your own faith, nobody else’s. You know, it’s takes credit for that. Yeah. That’s on you. And you got to teach that same truth to your kids while also being responsible for them as their parents.

And I’d also say, look for people who you can see the fruit and you want the same fruit, follow those kinds of people. And here’s the scripture. Now, we have received not the spirit of the world, but the spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us.

By God, you have to have the spirit to know the things.

That’s right. So, you guys, we are praying for you that you experienced the spirit that you have, that you have this intimate connection with God through prayer, through reading his word, where his spirit just overcomes you, overtakes you and is able to open your eyes. You can connect the dots and how biblical world view is changing your perspective on things in the world. And I would just challenge you.

Here’s your courageous parenting challenge at the end of the podcast. Talk about the hard things with your kids, talk about the hard things with your husband, if your a wife and, you know, vice versa. And don’t be afraid to speak truth when you see false lies, half truths, half gospels. Amen. Thanks for joining us. See you next time.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting package to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s an incredible community. You have access to a private online group, live webcast and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragements, Straight to your phone, if you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentorship program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com.

That’s CourageousParenting.com.

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Full Transcript:

• All Ministry Resources: becourageousministry.org

  

  Social Media For Christians – BE COURAGEOUS app

  • Exclusive access to the courageous kid’s podcast. Play it for your kids to stir up good discussions.
  • Monthly LIVE Q&A with the Tolpins; ask the anything.
  • Powerful Biblically minded community.
  • Topic-based discussion groups.
  • You get your own profile and can connect with others.
  • Resources on marriage, parenting, homeschooling, pregnancy/birth, and more.

  We look forward to engaging with you on the inside!

  FREE COURAGEOUS PARENTING WORKSHOP

  

  Relevant Resource Links:

  • The Homeschooling Blueprint, the online program to boost your effectiveness & help your kids thrive.

  • Parenting Mentor Program, A 6-Week, self-paced online program giving you the Biblical Parenting Model

  • Postpartum Course, The First-Ever Christian Postpartum Course!

  • FREE Courageous Parenting Workshop; Get the Parenting Packet Download!

  If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

  • Financial Giving, is important to support our family and expand the impact of the ministry. We aim to impact 10 million families and their legacies. We are in full-time ministry as a family of 9 at home, so everything makes a difference. 

  Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 10 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcasts, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom. And I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married 20 years and I’ve seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically based on the raw truth found in the Bible. We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a phone.

Hey, we’re back in town from our incredible trip with the family. Welcome to the podcast.

Hey, everybody. Excited to be here and be home again.

Yeah, so is quite the trip. Definitely interesting travelling during Covid.

And we visited eight states and during riots and.

Yeah. Protesting, which definitely gave us some concern beforehand.

I was wondering if I was putting my family in harm’s way or if this was a wise choice to pursue the trip that we’d planned a long time ago. It was already delayed a month, but we decided to. We felt the conviction to go for it. And we’re so glad we did. But want to share some stories, lessons, miracles and some outcomes that I think would be encouraging your family.

So before we dive into those, though, you guys, we just wanted to say thank you for all of your support for all the shares on social media. It really helps us to get the word out to other people so that they can be encouraged in the word as well. And this episode’s a little bit different than our other episodes. As you guys know, if you’ve been listening for a while, we usually are hitting hard topics, and we’re talking about topics and how they relate to parenting and what we should be meditating on as Christian parents and remembering and reminding our kids of. Right. And so we dive into scriptures and things like that. And we thought that it would be a great opportunity for you guys to get to know us a little bit more on a personal level by sharing our personal testimony of these last six weeks, been on the road with our eight kids. And we did share a little bit of our heart in our previous podcast, which you guys we actually filmed that on the road. Yeah. I don’t know if you guys saw that podcast, but it’s it was titled No Perfect Parents Allowed. Yeah. Right.

but our four week trip turned into a five and a half week trip.

So, yeah, almost just a few days shy of six weeks. And we were just having so much fun, obviously. But we also had some delays, which we will talk to you guys about today. Yeah. And so some people might think, wow, I’m going away for a month or even more than a month.

How do you do that, Isaac?

Yeah, I think, you know, when when I was younger, obviously, I was working hard in a way where I couldn’t leave very often. I had to really schedule a week off. I had flexibility.

But still as an entrepreneur and, you know, as much busier, lots of responsibility for people. Hard to get away from other people when they’re depending on you.

Yeah, exactly. So it was different back then.

And we really realized, as we had some young kids that it was very hard to travel and we felt a conviction to purchase an RV. I think eleven years ago. Yeah. And yeah. back then. And so it’s a thirty nine foot class A RV. We’ve been blessed by it. And it’s been incredible because as our family grew, it literally becomes impossible to vacation. Now there is air B&B now, but as we share a story in El Paso later, there wasn’t an air BMB available that would fit our whole family.

and with Covid things are different as far as air B&B goes, just because different people don’t want to necessarily be renting their homes out right now. And then there’s also the reality is, is there BMB didn’t exist for the first like decade that we were parenting. Maybe more than that.

It was Soha we were trying we’d go to the Oregon coast, but we’d have four young kids and we’d pack everything into the hotel, back out of the hotel.

We’d have to convince them to let us come in because we wanted the baby. Yeah, we we can’t obviously in a different way.

So it’s just it just seemed challenging to actually take breaks and be spontaneous, because when you’re wanting to go somewhere, a lot of plannings involved usually. And that didn’t really fit with our life necessarily. Yeah, it was a busy life. And so that’s part of how we’re able to do it. Also, I think God has orientated our life in a way where we can work from the road, which is a huge blessing. Yeah. So we did work. It wasn’t it wasn’t just a vacation. I was wanting to clarify that although the kids did feel like aspects of it were a vacation, it was much bigger and much more than that. Yeah.

And I would say that this so if you guys have been falling for a while, you’ve probably heard us talk about our three month RV trip that we did two years ago, just before our oldest daughter went off to college. We were like, oh, we’ve had this dream of doing this, like, trip round the United States. And we really wanted to do that. And we’re kind of like, okay, well, we don’t know what the future holds as they go to college. Then they potentially have a job. They maybe need somebody like you just never know. Right. So we were really like feeling the pressure of wanting to get that that dream that we had at ten years before, you know, we really wanted to do that. And I will share that. Like I remember when we were preparing for that, people were even going. How do you even, like, prepare to be gone that long? And so back then, we were able to lease out the home that we were. sublet it, I guess, is what’s called. That was a huge blessing that helped provide some extra income so that we could stay on the road. We also had a massive garage sale and we raised like six thousand dollars for the trip. You remember that? And ended up spending on car repairs just before we left. And so there were a lot of things that we did. There was a lot of planning that was probably six months of really big planning leading up to that trip. And I will just that was different. You were working way more on that trip than you were on this trip.

Absolutely. Full time, actually. Yeah. Time job. This time I was able to be more flex, which is amazing.

Shorter trip, too. So I think that’s important. Well, we did still work, but it was also we prepped our kids that it was a mission trip, that we’re gonna go and we’re going to be spontaneous. We’re gonna not be rigid in our path, although we did do some planning. Kelsey did a fabulous job planning a lot of the trip for us, just perfectly.

She loves doing that sort of thing. It’s so helpful.

So helpful. But but the second half of the trip, I would say, was more sporadic. And and we met a lot of people on the road and God was able to use our kids, user family, use us and some unique ways, which is really cool. So I think that’s important if you’re ever going to do a trip. It’s OK. It’s a vacation. But why not make it more than a vacation? Why not add in and prep your kids? It’s a mission trip and that we’re going to grow stronger together. And so I think it’s really important, you know, help you in any trip. Even short trips you do is to get the focus off of themselves and only what they want to do and focus on something bigger that God wants to do through them and in the whole family together. And that transforms when you go out to eat, how they act there a light and that transforms when you go to the beach, whatever you do. Yeah. And if things don’t work out, it transforms how they react.

They’re flexible. Yeah, it’s true. And so I would say if there’s that one, one of the main first things that we did, aside from like the obvious, which is like booking RV parks and resorts. Right. So Kelsey helped us to do some planning with that and calling places and reserving spots for the first like two, three weeks. And then we were able to know more about our timeline once we got on the road to be able to continue planning further down the road. And so that was a huge, huge help. That was one thing that we did. To be able to get out the door. Right. Another thing was that was what Isaac is talking about, which is having family meetings and sharing vision and casting vision, really. And then also engaging the kids and inviting them to take ownership in communicating about what their heart is and what God’s laid on their heart for this trip too. Right. Yeah. And so that has just been exciting as the kids get older, too, to just see like when we when we say, hey, let’s do a courageous parenting, meet up or let’s meet with some family that’s been in the Kurdish parenting mentor program like all the kids were hands down. Yeah, that’s super exciting. Let’s do it.

Well, that was a major reason for the trip, too, is to actually meet in person with some of the courageous parents around the country. And that was super amazing.

Yeah. And I will say that for those of you listening right now, obviously, like that covid stuff is still all happening around the countries, different state to state. And so, yes, that did actually negatively impact our plans. We did want to have meet ups while we were on the road, like at coffee shops, but coffee shops were closed down, like they are open for people to necessarily go in and meet other people, the beaches work and restaurants, right? Yeah. And so we we kind of found ways to meet with people. And some people even invited us into their home, which was very gracious.

And so so one of those dreams that you’re mentioning there, one of the dreams when I mentioned the beginning here, was the kids all wanted to learn how to surf and they really wanted a lot of beach time. So we’re like, OK. Texas has Beach, California beach. So let’s make sure we spend a lot of our time in those two places. And so that was one of the things because, you know, we live in central organ. There’s not beaches here, but there’s an amazing lakes and rivers.

And I mean, we’ve gone to the beach, our kids whole childhood going to the Oregon coast. That’s very different cause the water is cold. Yeah. And so it’s it’s just very different experience. On our last RV trip, we were all over the East Coast. So the kids, we’re experiencing East Coast beaches. Yeah. Which was super fun. And we didn’t really know what to expect of Texas beaches. We had actually not been to Texas with our kids. We had been flown there for different things. But this was our first time taking the RV to Texas and to Arizona. And just think, you know, when it’s a little risky, when you ask your kids, what are your dreams, what are the things you want to do?

Because sometimes the things they say are going to be way out of your comfort zone or maybe something you’ve never done before and you have no knowledge of. Oh, that’s so true for sure. Surfing. I’ve never been surfing. I can swim, but it’s not like it’s my favorite thing to do and it’s not like I’m super great at it. So, you know, it’s like, you know, I didn’t grow up in the water by any means. Washington State. Very cold water.

So that’s where Isaac and I are so different, you guys, as we’re just sharing our stories and you’re getting to know us a little bit. I’m very much my. My childhood was very different. So I grew up doing swim team swim lessons, my whole childhood and then swim team all the way through high school and then lifeguarded, taught swimming lessons, taught aqua aerobics. Did the whole surfing thing, like, but I haven’t done it for 20, 25 years. Right. And so being able to be on the beach with the kids was really fun. It was different than what I had experienced because when I was a kid, we didn’t do road trips to Texas.

So let’s kick this thing off. So we started by, you know, from where we live in Oregon and jetted to Idaho. And we didn’t spend much time in there because there was a real desire to really start the trip in Moab.

Yes. So we we really hightailed it from Oregon through Idaho down to Moab, Utah. You haven’t been there before. It’s one of our favorite places that we’ve been to on this trip.

Just go Google Moab and hit images.

Yeah. its where Arches. National Park is. And you guys we pulled tonight the Arches National Park. And normally we do. We do have like a national park pass. But a lot of the national parks had been closed down due to Covid. Some were starting to open up by the time that we were going on the trip. But it was really like an everyday you had to kind of keep track of what was opening, what was closing, what was going on.

You know, what’s interesting now that we’re done with the trip.

Kind of feels like we just barely made it into everything as things were either opening, just opening or just closed, just as we left. Yeah. And so was this unique window that we were able to pass through pretty well.

I mean, part of it, too. I think that we were just so overjoyed to be on the trip and with our family. And it was just really we were really grateful for what we were able to experience, that even if things had changed, we didn’t necessarily notice everything, or at least our kids didn’t. We may have, but we didn’t focus on that. We focused more on what we were thankful for. Yeah. And so I think that the kids didn’t even really notice much of how covid had changed things. Like, for example, we went to Arches National Park. Right. We were in drive around. And then later that day we were doing ATV and Canyon Land, which is right there. And so we had this, like, window of time. Right. So we had like the whole morning to do arches. We pull up and we’re like, we don’t have our national park pass. I totally didn’t have time to pull off printing off the fourth grade passport that you can get. You got to Google that if you’re interested in national parks, because you can actually get like a free pass.

Into national parks if you have a fourth grader. It ended up being free and Parks ended up being free because of covid.

Yeah. So they said we’re not sure if we’re gonna be closing or not. So we’re not charging this season. And so because of that unknowing of day to day what was going to be happening, they were like, you can just go in for free. They’re letting everyone in for free, which was a huge blessing.

Yeah. So now that the RV park culture is awesome, by the way, just like camping culture, I’m sure it’s exactly the same. And it’s just that people are really relaxed. They’re really into adventure. And regardless of what you believe about masks and not trying to make a mask statement here, except the reality was nobody really wears masks. So it’s a very freeing kind of.

Yeah. Camping way thing. And I mean, you’re all kind of social distance because your people are careful being wise and so forth.

But the pools were open in Utah and they weren’t in Idaho, I don’t think, and they weren’t in Oregon and they still aren’t in the Oregon RV.

So.

So that was really a blessing. Our kids love. We parked the RV, we set up, and then we go to the pool and then we go do something in the area. It just needs so pretty and pretty much most days during the trip.

We were in the pool or on the beaches and that was amazing. That was also the same for Texas and all of the pools of the parks that we visited.

And there are quite a few all the pools and bathrooms, showers were open. They were not open in Oregon and Idaho. Showers, baths and pools were not open while we were on our trip. They were also not open in New Mexico. And California was and it was one where ended on the county, it felt like or the RV park because some of them hadn’t yet, like, cleaned their pools yet because of that.

And there was just a lot of RV parks just closed, just nice and open. So that was that.

There were some that were, you know, half vacancy and then there were some that were completely full.

Right. And so it just was a really interesting experience, you know, talking to the people who have, like, half vacancy. I guess I always went in and was, you know, dealing with registration and just chit chatting with the people. They’re like, yeah, we’ve had so many cancellations because people are not doing their summer vacations anymore or different things like that, right? Yes. And so that actually allowed us to be able to get favor with our last minute RV spots in some regards and. And so a lot of things opened up for us last met and those last couple weeks that we were on our RV trip, so absolutely, absolutely.

So want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already is the date night one. She is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date night. Just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family, no matter what time of year. It’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to CourageousParenting.com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything, a CourageousParenting.com. And I also just want to share real quick about the parenting mentor programs. So many families are being transformed by going through this as the six week self-paced program with Live engagement for us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it. You can find out more at CourageousParenting.com.

Steve and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children. But engineers have done in creating this is literally phenomenal.

This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world.

It has given me the vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids biblically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of heart.

We now haven’t been trained to how we want to raise our children. We have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is. Do your legacy a favor and yourself a favor and just do it. One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year. And I could not recommend it more or no longer fearing dark days ahead.

But we’re so excited to raise the lights to be leaders for the next generation.

The renting the ATV’s is so family of 10 on ATV. So with ages two to 20, No one between us and we got to six seaters. And so there’s five of us each. I drove one. Austin drove the other. And it was amazing. Yeah. I went out for like five hours or four hours, some like and we it was kind of mellow into the canyon lands and huge canyons river and just off road. And then pretty soon the road would deteriorate and pretty soon it wasn’t really a road anymore, like where’s the road.

Yes. Now we’re climbing, you know, dirt roads with rocks and and going through mud puddle, you know, and it was up inclines and crazy stuff. And, you know, Austin took them through some puddles and got muddy and it was it was absolutely epic. So I would encourage you not to fear doing that with your kids.

And I will say, well, one of our kids is not even two yet and that we were able to put his Car seat, seat belt in and we put him in the middle on the back that they said that they do it all the time. He had a helmet. All kids wore helmets, you know. And so we took all the safety precautions and it was just such a blast. He loved it the most.

He is the one that was like.

We will go fast and get a little get get a little suspension working.

Yeah, it was so much fun. And, you know, guys, those are the types of things where I was just like that was a surprise for kids. I don’t think they were expecting that. And we loved being able to, like, randomly surprise them with stuff like and it was spontaneous.

So that wasn’t in the. Sure. Plans. No, I don’t. You get to Moag. That’s another place where was everywhere. If you make really fun things for sure.

Plans any time to your kids ahead of time when they don’t work out, it can be very devastating. So I hold some of that back. I have ideas about things, but i dont make for sure plans. And they’re like, what are we doing? Well, we’ll see what God has for us. Guys, maybe there’s some reason that we shift gears, but if we don’t tell them exactly what it is yet and they’re all down. We do talk about some things. Yeah. But we never told them they would be going surfing for sure or anything like that cause I’m like, how am i going to pull that off? I. That sounds really expensive. We have zero equipment and all these kids. How in the world would that happen?

Oh, can you imagine how expensive that would be. You guys renting wetsuits and surfboards and all the things, so. Yeah. So anyway, we highly, highly recommend Utah. Moab was one of the biggest I would say the top three or top five highlights of our six weeks was just Moab seen Arches National Park. The kids really enjoyed the rocks and doing the the ATVing thing in Canyon Land. That was awesome. Yeah. So then we moved on in to Colorado. We didn’t spend a ton of time in Colorado, but we did go to Mesa Verde where the cliff dwellings of the Pueblo people are. Right.

And there’s a lot of famous photographers have taken pictures of this stuff.

Yacine. Yeah. So you guys, if you’re getting curious, knowing you’re like what there’s like what are cliff dwellings? So Invision canyons. Right. So this is even near like the Navaho Canyon there. And there were federal signs that said Navajo Canyon territory and different things like that when we were on our cliff dwelling tour. Right. And we were on our little we drove through that area and we’re able to get out and go to, like, the viewpoints and take photos and see them. The one thing that was a little bit. I’ll be honest, a little bit disappointing to me is I was really excited about being able to tour down into the cliff dwellings, but all the tours were canceled due to covered. Yeah. And also the museums everywhere were closed. And so we were able to kind of like peek in the windows.

There weren’t a lot of people either. So it was very, very few people.

So very few. So we got to zip through there. And there’s only a couple hours, which normally I think it takes like a whole day is a long time. And we were able to still read the information when we went to the pit houses, for example, and see how they lived before they lived in the cliff dwellings. And to learn about those people and, you know, you guys, it was super exciting. I mean, we had studied a little bit about them and classical conversations during one of the cycles. And so some of my kids remember that. And they were really excited to be able to see it with their own eyes and see that it’s preserved and that so there and like think about it just to think that they’re sitting there going, how did they get it and how did they have to climb out and say, oh, they must’ve been like, amazing layers. You know, they’re like envisioning what it would be like to climb from where they were, did farming up above where they lived and then like throw ropes down. It was incredible.

So not a lot of time in Colorado, but we definitely saw that. We started out at one RV park for a couple nights.

It was a couple nights and during that time too you guys, like there was some really huge. Well, looking back and even that day, huge answer to prayer because one of our kids started having some really serious back pain. And we had taken this said child to chiropractor’s many times and had taken them to their doctors many times for back pains. They’d been adjusted many, many times in the last couple years, and we took them to the only chiropractor that was open in Mesa Verde.

Now, this is a very small community compared to like, you know, even central Oregon. There’s a lot more chiropractors here. And we go in and this guy is amazing. He takes x rays of our kid and right away is able to diagnose C curve scoliosis. Give us exercises for them to do on the road trip to help adjust, help relieve pain. Different things. Massive help. Massive help. We were able to go back the next day, get corrected again on some things. And I just am really thankful because we had tried pretty much everyone here in central Oregon and there was no diagnosis.

Praise the lord, you know. What it took was being in a small town in the corner of Colorado to get the right diagnosis. And now we can try to find the right help. And so I’m.

I’m really thankful because sometimes you do have to get out of your Moriya to find the help that you know, just to have objective. Sometimes doctors don’t have an objective view. Right. Like if they’ve known you for a long time and they’re like, oh, I don’t know, this kid maybe is complaining or something. I don’t. And so it’s just really healthy to be able to go in there and for them to take a deeper look and be able to right away diagnose that. I’m really thankful.

And our child handled it really well, received the news, in fact. Yeah, hard to receive that. But also encouraging to know. Yeah. And now we know what to pray for and pray for healing and to work.

Renard’s working on. Yeah. And so anyway see you guys could be praying for us on that during. That’s a kind of a fairly, that’s a fairly new journey that we’re working on with this kiddo. And some tough news, but we were able to like go wow, OK, so let’s get a better foam mattress for the RV trip and now do some things to help that kid be more comfortable, too. Yeah. And so anyway, that just was a really in my for my mom, Maha, I was like really praising God for being able to be where we were at that time.

And then we went into New Mexico and Covid restrictions were strong. They’re really strong. And it just seemed like it was hard to go out to eat. It was hard to RV parks were closed, a lot of, you know, some. So it just didn’t seem like a place where close up that. So we just decided to kind of just drive through it. So we we mostly drove through it, but it was really tough because the winds is really open land and the RV is very high as 12 feet, seven inches high. Thirty nine feet long. So it’s like a sale. So when the wind hits, it’s like you have to fight with it sometimes. And I’m not trying to discourage you from ever driving one of those things because you can do it. But, yeah, you just it’s just the reality just takes some experience. So it’s like it’s pretty intense. I just remember the winds and your arms were sore after that. You have to turn into the wind going straight. I literally turn my wheel just to be able to keep going straight some day. And so I would you know, there’s semis and things around you.

And so it takes diligence. But here’s here’s things. This isn’t to scare you because God’s in control and God is powerful and he wants us to pray. Do you know when I drive and I drove a lot. I’m the only one that drove the RV is. I prayed more than I think I have in a long time.

You always do in your heart because, you know, I’m very confident with it.

I’ve been driving it for 10 years. No accidents in it while it’s driving it. Praise God. Yeah. I’ve had some accidents with other people renting it and things, but that’s normal. Nothing major, but so praise God for that. But I think it’s not because of me. It’s because I pray when I’m driving. So if you’re a little nervous, like what’s going to be like driving a trailer or something like that, the solution is be wise.

Don’t be prideful when you’re driving. Don’t be overconfident. Be humble about the potentials here in wisdom. You’re being safe, but everything’s safe distances and all that taking extra precautions. But then the secret is to pray. And I really felt like God was protecting us right around us. And we had another driver we brought the excursion for around the town vehicle and that was getting difficult. Why was it getting difficult?

Well, just because we had so many kids. So, you know, we have we have eight kids. There’s 10 of us, and there’s actually only nine seats. We had to have the console in the front and put in what we call bucket seat right Isaac. And so we put in bucket seat to have that extra seat. And so we had to double buckle for the little short stints that we would go and do things where we weren’t with the RV. Now, when when we’re driving like long distances in between RV parks, for example, or camping, half of the crew is in the RV and a few would be in the yeah. You know, it was different every time.

Kelsey and Austin did a lot of the excursion driving.

I was mainly wherever the little people were up so that I could be Mom. You’re managing the house. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And so when Isaac is driving, that’s one reason he’s able to actually have more prayer time is because somebody else is actually managing everything else. You’re doing the other hard work. And so he’s able to really focus on the driving. And I don’t typically talk to you much unless we’re like on a really calms space. I’ll sit in the front and we’ll have chitchats and stuff like that. But but typically, if it’s like lunchtime nap, you’re busy. Everything’s like that. I’m in the back and he’s up in the front by himself. Maybe kids sit.

And so it became a little harder because their kids are bigger and it was long. You know, Mom, around town we’re going places an excursion double Buckling. So the kids started praying for a sprinter van. We used to have a sprinter van and it seated eleven people and it was just so nice. To have that to be up the room for everybody in the room for stuff in the back. Oh, yes. Things and so the kids in and I knew that we couldn’t afford a sprinter van. What they cost used. We couldn’t afford because they’re usually they start around, you know, if you want one with not like the max miles already on them, but just good amount of miles. They’re like twenty five grand at least. So that’s without four by four. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. So but they were Austin really spearheaded that and he was looking but it definitely got us praying about it more and got it in our minds, which was interesting. And then we.

From New Mexico we went in to oh we visited a church in New Mexico and they just re opened what we didn’t know it was a satellite church, like they have a main church and then they have other locations.

So. And so they had no idea. Yeah. There was a pastor there.

They did like the opening comments and prayer.

And then then the rest the sermon was on a screen was on the screen.

But that’s all right. Yeah.

But it was good to see other Christians in, you know, connect with them briefly. Yeah.

And just see where the heart is that people around the country, although I will say it was difficult because the other Sundays that we were in town, we did look to see if there were churches that were open at least, but most places were closed and most of the areas that we traveled while we were on our trip. So we did our home church. Just our family. Yeah. Yeah, it was good. Isaac, we were reading through Revelation through part of it, and then also in Colossians, which we shared a little bit about what what what we were learning in the last podcast.

Yeah. So then we went to Texas and we spent quite a bit of time in Texas. Its huge. We spent over two weeks, little over two weeks. I think it ended up being in Abilene, Texas was our first stop. And I don’t know a lot about Abilene, Texas, but they have one of the best RV parks that ever been. And we went in and we drove. And when you drive in, you kind of see everybody parked in all the spots, you know, so and spacious. And then I saw this one spot. It was like perfect spot. And it had this swinging chair and had a barbecue already set up.

I’d never seen them had a like a cast iron table with cushioned chairs that seats six people for a fire pit.

And it was just like, wow, I want that one. And sure enough, that’s the one we got.

Yeah, that’s the one Kelsey had reserved. And so when we come in and of course, the kids are like all their noses are up against the window. They’re like, look at the pool.

It was just it was a great resort.

That was an epic day. Yeah, for sure. And so that was like our first experience really with Texas. Yeah.

And we were like and bigger and better and better in Texas. It was pretty fun. Yeah.

And then after Abilene we headed down to the Austin area and that was where we surprised our kids. The second time and we got a pontoon boat on Lake Travis that was so fun with that jump pad that floats and we’ve got bring brought the paddleboards inflatable paddleboards.

And that was so fun.

Yeah. So for those of you who were watching our story on Instagram, you probably saw us with our paddle at boards a few times. Those we actually didn’t rent those. Each time we’re using paddleboards, we own those paddleboards. We got them here and Bend before like a month beforehand. And we have been loving them. We take them out everywhere with us when we go places now.

But they just pump up. Lake Travis, Lake Travis is absolutely beautiful if you’re going to Texas. That’s that’s a win win.

Yeah, for sure. You got to do that to rent a boat. We rented a pontoon boat speed boat. This time we rented a pontoon boat was our first time renting one of those and it was just such a blast. And the kids got to try driving a boat. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. So we great on that great day. Yeah. And then while we were in Austin, you also went paddleboarding with Megan and Ethan down the river and got to see part of the city.

Oh yeah. So Megan, we had an RV Park, right, just on the skirts of the city of Austin. And we went downtown and we had some lunch with Megan and Ethan and then we paddle boarded in. I don’t know what you call it, but it’s a town town, literally. And you’re going under bridges and stuff and then out in front of the skyline of Austin. And it’s really crazy because there’s turtles in there, all kinds of turtles around you and there’s people everywhere. There’s people jumping off the bridges into the water. There’s people on the sides like barbecuing on the ledges and there’s boats and kayaks.

And yeah, there was tons of people. So that was a really neat experience. And but, you know, one thing about Austin, I’ve been to Austin before. I’ve been to South by Southwest Conference before. It’s one of the major creative and tech conferences in the world. And I’ve seen Austin, when it’s doing well and Austin, is not doing well right now, you know, I think a lot of major cities are not looking so good right now based on the riots and protesting things that are happening. Definitely Austin was that there’s hardly anybody downtown. Things were boarded up. Yeah, a lot of that.

So we did drive through a few of the major cities in the states that we visited. And one of the things that the term that comes to my mind is it’s like a ghost town in some places.

I mean, there is I remember even driving through one of the towns, I don’t know if it was it might have been San Antonio. And there was you expect when you’re in Texas to see Tumbleweed. Right. Go going to the result. And and we did see that. But then in a different city, we saw a box as if it was a tumble. There was no people anywhere around El Paso. And and so, like, they’re just there definitely has been some it’s been an exodus from the cities and they’re kind of run down, not all of them, but some of them.

Austin definitely looked like it got hit a little bit. And then we went to Galveston.

Oh, yes. They’re like, okay, let’s hit the Gulf Coast.

So there’s the East Coast, the West Coast, and there’s a Gulf Coast.

That’s right. So the Gulf of Mexico, we were in Texas along the Texas coast, which we had never been there before, ever. Yeah. Right. And didn’t really know what to expect. And for those of you who are in Texas, you’d be like, why did you come for the The beach in Texas? But you guys warm water. It was warm, but it was also brown and we weren’t expecting that. Obviously, if you do a little bit of Galveston, you’ll find out that there’s a loop current, right, because of the Gulf, but also the Mississippi Rivers bringing stuff in.

And so, you know, the water’s brown and it’s not necessarily contaminated. It’s just brown with swirling and everything. But sometimes maybe it is minimal.

We don’t know if we went in the water, we went in the water and we had a great time.

It was so much fun. That was beaches are beautiful. And, you know, if you guys, again, if you’re watching you price out a lot of spike ball, your kids brought one game with them on this trip and it was Spike Ball. And it’s the best if you haven’t played Spike Ball with your kids. I just to give you a courageous parenting challenge to learn these rules and play some spike ball with your kids because you will become addicted to this game.

It is so much fun in the mayhem has not stopped since we are home. And I’m so sore every muscle in my body for it.

So. And so when you guys were still playing Spike Ball almost every day.

That’s true. And I need to get more fit just to keep up with the way our family is.

That’s a good thing. Good things can keep you alive longer. Yeah. But you guys, we did have a great time in Galveston. We went to the Jamaica Beach RV resort and they had an awesome lazy river that we spent like a half of a day at, actually. Oh, yeah. It was so much fun. We got to see some friends. Oh, yeah. Met us there. The American road trip family. all of the meetings were sporadic people and messages on these very spontaneous, spontaneous like we had. We want to go to the beach where you never visit again before.

And I’ve met them before. So they joined us. And then another family can’t be next to us, joined us. And we’re all sitting on our little patch of grass by our RV, very small for like eight hours.

If you don’t like it, you know, just chit chatting middle until the end of the night and good times.

There’s so many good times. And, you know, I, I just want to encourage you guys, like, it was so fun because this kind of stuff was not planned. It was spontaneous. We spent the day at the beach and then the next day we spent some time like I was doing laundry everyday, like four days, which is a big chore. That’s like guess that four to six hour job.

Sometimes we’re in there together at midnight.

Yeah. Usually I would say probably 60, 70 percent of the time I did doing much.

But I was keeping you company.

Yeah. He would sit there, she has your work and you would work. You would do work. Oh do laptop work. Yeah.

He’d bring his laptop and he’d sit and he’d work and I have my system as she has her laundry system that’s you know, she kind of enjoys doing.

I love doing laundry and, I love having my husband to help with the lifting part because bringing all of the clothes and sleeping bags and towels from the RV for ten people, that’s that’s a big job. So.

So it’s not for the faint of heart. It’s sometimes you have to commit to things and then find out how much work it is and how hard it is. Yeah. Because it’s so worth it if you just dwell on how hard something might be, you may never do things that are important experiences.

They’re so fun. So we had a great time in Galveston and then we moved on to the next beach, which was Corpus Christi, and then we moved down to South Padre Island in Corpus Christi.

The water got really a lot clearer.

It wasn’t perfectly clear, but it was a little brown button and it was very about ten feet into the ocean. I was then I was getting my. Think I’m more optimistic on this, but right.

And it was beautiful. Corpus Christi, where the water was gorgeous. It felt clean. It was warm. The beaches were gorgeous.

Okay. The kids had such a great. The sand was perfect. We. We spent a good amount of time playing on the beach. And then we headed down to South Padre Island. And we were there for two or three days.

Now, just spontaneous little. Jerry, I’m like kids. If you want to see the best beach in Texas, we’ve got to go to South Padre because we were going to shoot straight up to San Antonio from Corpus Christi. Yeah. But then they’re like, no, we want to see the best beach. So then we.

So we’re right very close to the border of Mexico. Yeah.

It is one of the southern. It’s the second southernmost point in America other than in Florida. So the town where we were in Florida. Yeah.

Yeah, that’s cool. That’s a interesting fact. I didn’t know. Yes. So South Padre Island was unbelievable. It was a great experience. Although this is where one of our first, like, miraculous thing happened, I would say we got that sweet RV spot we at Fort Round Front.

It was a stampede at the jump house. Oh, it was crazy. Okay. That’s right.

Next time you spot was totally booked up. Right. And this was at the point where we had already gone past our RV reservations. So we’re calling. We’re asking. No, I do not know. We’re booked.

And I’m like, can you just check one more time for me? And they’re like, oh.

Oh, wow. Something did open up. So they heard one. And then we get there and we’re in it. We’re in a great spot. Yeah. But in the morning, I’m going to do laundry and I see the perfect spot and it’s empty. And I’m like, I’m just gonna ask. Yeah. So I go into the office and in my case, anybody in that spot went to one and they look in they’re like, nope. And I’m like, oh, would it be too much if we moved because we’re just four spots down. And they totally accommodated us. You guys, it was the perfect it was the perfect RV spot because there’s literally right in front of the place structure view of the water, the view, the water, the bay. There was a tetherball pool. We were able to play Spike Ball right there. Kids get really out there and we can see them. Yeah. From the RV. But we also had that deck, the house price deck, Adirondack chairs and. Oh, it’s just gorgeous. And God’s provision is me just provided. But that wasn’t the work. I mean, that was a miracle, but that wasn’t what I was talking about. So Isaac and I hadn’t had date night and we’re at like three weeks. Like Ang let’s go , 10 p.m. let’s let’s go out. Yeah. He’s it’s like 9:30. And he he goes the kids, he’s like kids. I won’t take your mom out. They’re like, yep, sounds good. You know, Kelsey’s like, go, go, go. And Austin’s totally you know, all the older kids are like, yeah, go. We’ve got this. Yeah. And so I quickly change. We get in the car, we just take off. We’re like, hey, where are we going to go? Right.

Because I know many restaurants are closed. This is really cool restaurant right on the bay because there’s a bay side in the beach side because it’s on a little islands. Thin Island. Yeah. And so on the bayside, there’s core restaurants. So we go and there’s all people in there and they go, no, we’re not seeing any more people.

We’re like, well, I mean.

But it was weird, though, because there were people that literally just got sat right in front of I might have been a private thing. And so I don’t know. I mean, we had it was weird. We had masks with us. I don’t know if we were wearing them, but they were like, no, sorry. And they didn’t listen and were like, well, OK, now what? And so we’re looking around.

Most places look close to here. There’s a strip of bars, right? Oh, my. No, I had never been to a like a normal bar. She’s been to places that serve drinks that are more restaurant.

But there’s I’ve never been to a bar in my life. I’ve steered clear of them my whole life.

We’ll find a cool spot in the bar.

And so and I’m like, so then I try and go in this one. And she’s like, No, not that one. No, I. You’re trying all this other one’s. No, not. Yeah.

He’s like Mr. Vigilent with the mask. Don’t take a step forward until you get that mask on. And we’re like, whoa, okay. We put the masks on and then we took five steps beyond and then you’re allowed to take that off.

Nobody on our side said that’s kind of how it was. Yeah. Anyway, as they record me.

Okay. But so this place had an awesome setup because it was like also a place where during the day water sports are rented. Yeah. And so they had this huge dock that had chairs and tables set up and you could go and sit there after you, you know, got something to eat or whatever. Yeah. And so where we decided to go way down to the end of the dock. So there’s like nobody out there near us right now. So we’re out on the end of this dock and we’re sitting there.

And you guys, it occurs to me, it dawns on me that this is probably this is like where Jaws is filmed. Right. Like, I’m looking and it’s like.

Which is one of those movies that terrified my wife.

Okay. So this is like a very traumatic experience for me. I promised myself I wish I was never, ever. Go to this place, right? And I’m sitting there, I couldn’t help but like, look at the water and and I’m like looking around and there’s like this right over there and people fisher jumping in.

I’m like, I’m kind of jumping Isaac laughing at me. Anyways, so we’re having a fun date night or Isaac’s having a fun date night. I’ve never been more terrified.

I we sat way from all the people in the bar and just to have a private time way down the dock.

Yes. And so there’s nobody sitting there talking. And then all of a sudden a guy walks by and he was obviously very he was drunk.

He looked upset. He looked very drunk. He wasn’t walking straight. He was a big guy. And he came by us and then walked back. And then he walked by us again. And that’s when you guys might relate to this. But I got in the posture of booking and I remember my moves. My guy moves and I’m gonna remember, you know, I’m going to get my body situated. Some that’s stuck under the tables, my lady, protect my life. So I if I was in that mode of, you know, calm, but just ready.

I definitely felt that there was a threat. Yeah, we weren’t sure. And so we tried to enjoy that the next private time. And then he walks back down again and then he goes to this tiny little door that says private do not enter. And it’s like a tiny it’s not even a dock, you guys. But I mean, to call it a dock. It was like a foot and a half to two feet wide. He walks along it and gets into this really nice fishing boat. And I’m like, Isaac, that can’t be his boat. Like, what is this guy anyway?

I think that we should close this out and do a part two, because we’re getting so we’re it’s it’s getting a little long and there’s some really amazing parts of the trip left. And I think it will end up being like an hour and 20 minutes. So this is a perfect spot.

It’s a little cliff hanger, to, to pause and say thank you for joining us in the second part.

I think you’re really going to love because it does the surfing end up happening and how does God do that? Maybe. What happens to this guy? And there’s many other things that come about that God provides. The breakdowns.

We’ll talk about all of that in the next episode.

But we hope this is encouraging for you. Whether you take a week with your family a couple of weeks or have a dream way down the road of organizing your life in a way where you could do a three or four week trip of some sort. It doesn’t have to be an RV trip, but hopefully it is encouraging you to not let Covid not let the things deter and change the joy and the adventures you can have as a family. You might have to do them a little differently.

You may have to be have wisdom, but you can still do them. One of the things that I’d like to end on as one of the things I’ve been telling our kids, which is you guys, you know what? This virus is not going away and there will be more viruses in the future. It’s predicted in the Bible. Right. There’s going to be more hardships in life. But that doesn’t mean that you stop living. You still have to find a way to live life. We want to be wise. We want to be loving. We want to care for other people. And the Commission is important, but we still need to live life.

Don’t live for Someday. Remember, the life you’re living is your life. The life your kids are living. Is there life and you have influence over that. Now understand resources and things like that. I will tell you, this was a big sacrifice of resources. There’s a lot of things we could have been doing if we were working full time. Yeah, there’s a lot of things that ended up costing way more money and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Did we have to dip into some of our savings for a house? Oh, yeah, we did. And I don’t regret it. Was that the plan? No, but something’s happened. And then God provide in some other ways. And we’ll tell you in the next episode. But thanks for joining us.

See you next time.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about a six week online parenting mentor program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting package to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that, it’s an incredible community. You’ll have access to a private online group live Webcast and the courageous parenting text message line where I can send weekly encouragements straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentorship program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com.

That’s CourageousParenting.com

Scripture In This Episode:

Proverbs 6:16-19 – These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look,
a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren.”

Colossians 3:12 – “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;”

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  • Topic-based discussion groups.
  • You get your own profile and can connect with others.
  • Resources on marriage, parenting, homeschooling, pregnancy/birth, and more.

  We look forward to engaging with you on the inside!

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  • Financial Giving, is important to support our family and expand the impact of the ministry. We aim to impact 10 million families and their legacies. We are in full-time ministry as a family of 9 at home, so everything makes a difference. 

  Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 10 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

• All Ministry Resources: becourageousministry.org

  

  Social Media For Christians – BE COURAGEOUS app

  • Exclusive access to the courageous kid’s podcast. Play it for your kids to stir up good discussions.
  • Monthly LIVE Q&A with the Tolpins; ask the anything.
  • Powerful Biblically minded community.
  • Topic-based discussion groups.
  • You get your own profile and can connect with others.
  • Resources on marriage, parenting, homeschooling, pregnancy/birth, and more.

  We look forward to engaging with you on the inside!

  FREE COURAGEOUS PARENTING WORKSHOP

  

  Relevant Resource Links:

  • The Homeschooling Blueprint, the online program to boost your effectiveness & help your kids thrive.

  • Parenting Mentor Program, A 6-Week, self-paced online program giving you the Biblical Parenting Model

  • Postpartum Course, The First-Ever Christian Postpartum Course!

  • FREE Courageous Parenting Workshop; Get the Parenting Packet Download!

  If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

  • Financial Giving, is important to support our family and expand the impact of the ministry. We aim to impact 10 million families and their legacies. We are in full-time ministry as a family of 9 at home, so everything makes a difference. 

  Thank you for being part of this movement to equip 10 million families and their legacies with Biblical truth to raise confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.

Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting podcast, the weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom. And I’m Isaac from Resolute Man. We’ve been married 20 years and have seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Hey, everyone, welcome to the podcast. It’s gonna be a great Part two episode, Healthy Home Tips during uncertain times.

Yeah, I’m excited to dig into a few different topics that we didn’t cover in the last podcast. And I hope you guys are encouraged, maybe challenged, maybe you learn a couple things. I hope so.

I don’t know how you can listen to that last episode in not be like, I got so much practical information, I couldn’t even write notes fast enough. It was fun to talk about wasnt it?wasn’t It was really awesome.

Did you learn a couple things? yeah!

And skin had an interesting term. It was the what was it again? The epidermis. Epidermis. Yeah. Yeah. I did go to school, but that was long ago so.

Hey, you know what? We all have our strengths right. Just kidding.

My education has been redeemed as I’ve been home schooling and teaching anatomy to kids every year for the last. Like how long?

There’s a there’s another interesting thing about my wife is she has a near photographic memory.

So, yeah, that is actually true. It can. It’s like a database. I my head has a hard time turning off at night.

It’s okay anyway. So we talk until 1:00 in the morning.

Yeah.

Sometimes it’s fun. It’s a fun life.

So hey, if you have not already gotten the Healthy Home Mom Hacks workshop, which is about herbs and oils, supplements and clean homes, you should do that because especially Filson, the last one you felt like, wow, I couldn’t take notes fast enough because that’s where you get the 25 page free download. It’s a free workshop with energy and it’s going to have information even beyond these two episodes, too, which is really cool.

Yeah. We in that workshop, we talk more about herbs regarding like cooking and teas and different things like that, because we used to dry our herbs and make our teas and and it’s a fun project to do with your kids. Even the summer, like you guys, you could go hunting for dandelion root. All right. You could make dandelion root tea with your kids, which is good for digestion.

There’s a little of sugar go. And so where do you get this? In the rest of the resources and everything we talk about CourageousParenting.com

Hit the menu. It’s a little three. They call it a hamburger icon on a mobile device.

It does look like that. Yeah.

So you hit that. And then you hit the podcast and you hit on this episode or the previous one. And both of them will have a link to register for that free workshop and get that free download.

Yeah, that’s right. And all the other resources.

Yeah. So in the last podcast, we thought we’d just do like a short little recap. So you didn’t listen to the podcast. Let’s say people are listening to this one first and they’re sure they both really work on their.

So that’s for sure they do. But I think that the last podcast was I mean, there are some really good stuff in there. Just as we got talking about the importance of knowing your kids and studying them and how when you are being proactive and knowing, like, how they’re the things that are bugging them, for example, you have intolerances or allergies. Right?

If that goes unchecked for a long time, which can happen right now, then, you know, you might not have as much compassion for your kids when they are having a hard time and they’re just losing their cool. Right. Well, have you have we asked, like, do they have a headache? Did they even know how to describe that kind of thing? And so I really believe that the last podcast we talked to is revolutionary for parents. If they have not really thought about maybe that being one of the triggers that is pushing their kids to maybe have meltdowns regularly. Right. Because we did experience that with one of our kids and we didn’t talk about that very much in the last podcast. But we experience that with one of our kids. When he was really young, he had an intolerance to dairy. And when we detoxed him.

It was incredible. The difference.

Incredible. He he literally you guys, he detoxed and lost like 15 pounds in a few weeks because he was drinking a gallon, a half of raw milk a week and he was dairy intolerant. So his gut was just a mess all the time and we thought it was his normal.

He was in pain. It was really disobedient and is really difficult.

He couldn’t make eye contact and that was like the hardest part for me, that transformed like he was able to focus more and look at mommy in the eyes and.

And we were able to talk calmly, your kid might not have that same situation. But there’s lots of different possible diet related things or health related things that a simple fix, a simple change sometimes can make a world of difference. It really can.

I mean, even I have friends whose kids are like supersensitive to certain dyes that are in different things. Right. And if they have them, then their kids get too rambunctious, too. And then they crash.

It’s like so I think, you know, a big thing. And I think you talked about this is as parents, we have to get outside of ourself. Yeah.

Because sometimes we only look at other people through the lens of how we feel about things with our own body in terms of health and what pain is.

And, you know, oh, I can drink milk, no problem. So we naturally think everybody else can.

Well, and some parents might actually be forcing their kids to drink milk when the kids are like, I don’t I don’t actually like it. Right. The reason why they don’t like it is maybe because it actually makes them hurt, like gives them gas or constipation or so we have to take this person in.

The family is unique and being made by God differently than you. And they might have some different issues, different clashes with foods.

Right. I mean, that’s just one example. Environment. So many things. You guys, it’s and today we’re actually going to dive into like clean, healthy homes, which even is about like what kinds of chemicals are your kids exposed to in your home, because that can actually impact them with headaches and stuff like that. Yeah. And so you guys like this is not just one thing. And you guys have been hearing us say that in many podcasts. There’s not just one thing going on. There are many going on simultaneously at the same time. And that’s true in parenting also. And one other what was another highlight from last week’s podcast?

lets share maybe one highlight that you thought of. Honey, are you on the spot again? Yeah, it will have a lot in its way. What time is it?

Yeah, it is late. You guys, it’s like 11:00. We’re shooting a podcast. I don’t know at this point.

Yeah. So I was thinking about just the concept of plants because we talked a lot about oh you plant stuff was amazing.

Oh. You just remember that you actually get better. Your kids could get better grades with more plants around. OK. So I got back and really cool.

So it’s actually a matter of concentration and alertness. So another really cool example when house plants is that plants actually so you water a plant, but you may not know that your plants actually release 81 to 97 percent of the water that you give them back into the air in the form of humidity. Which is phenomenal. That helps with like dry throats, allergies, all kinds of things. Right. It’s very helpful. But in addition to that, it it the though the environment can be effective for people for having alertness. And this is why. So they did a study of a workspace right. And when you have a lot of people crowded it in one area, they’re breathing in oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide. And I don’t know if you knew this, but carbon dioxide can make you tired and fatigued. Right. It can give you headaches. Right. And so having even just one plant per person in the area that is absorbing. Right. Any particles and compounds in the air mixed with the carbon dioxide, it the photosynthesis process puts out more oxygen, therefore waking up and giving an alertness to the people in the room.

Yeah, that’s phenomenal. Up to 12 percent. They have been able to do studies and record. They’re saying that there can literally be an effective, more productive environment, like up to 12 percent just from having plants in the room. That’s pretty incredible. And so I it I just keep getting amazed at how God created the world and these things for us. But also, we have to take care of them. Right. Like, plants need us to care for them or they die. Yeah. And that can be a really fun project that you can do with your kids. So in the last podcast, at the end, I started sharing a little bit about some of my favorite plants and I think I only went into three. And then I was talking to a friend today and she was like, well, what other plants? And I actually have those three plants. So I thought I would share them with you. Again, in this podcast, my number one all time favorite houseplant that I think every family should have is an aloe vera plant. Oh, yeah, they’re super simple to take care of.

Now, I grew up with my mom having those. Yeah, I did, too. And my grandma. And when your kids get a scrape, you can literally cut off the little part of that Aloe vera plant. You can use the aloe gel directly on the cut.

You can use it. And to make it easy, make it make sanitizer. Actually, you can mix it with essential oils and make salves with it. It’s very soothing for sunburns. Right. It’s used for so many things. But you guys, they’re kind of hard to kill.

They’re awesome because they don’t die. A good place to put an Aloe Vera plant is by a kitchen sink or by your shower or bathtub because they like humidity. And I would just encourage you, if you do start getting the house, plants don’t just go out and buy a bunch of plants, bring them home and not do any research on them. You actually need to know how to take care of your plants. So some other favorites are spider plants, snake plants, ficus plants. These are all the most oxygen producing plants. And you might not know this, but some plants sleep at night. They don’t put oxygen off at night. Yeah, but there are a few plants that do that would be good to have near in your bedroom when you’re sleeping at night. And that would be Alvera or succulent plants. Those ones actually do emit oxygen in the night. So there’s some information.

So what are we talking about today?

So in this podcast, we thought that we would talk a little bit about healthy diets and nutrition and that sort of thing, but also healthy, clean homes that are toxin free.

I think there’s some people that don’t believe that’s possible. I didn’t. The possible. Only now. Yeah. Certain things. Right. The chemicals are actually what? Sanitize and get things clean. But you’ve proven differently to me. I was a staunch believer that you had to have chemicals.

Yeah, it’s interesting because I don’t think you grew up with chemicals. Actually, your mom is so into organic things and natural things.

But when it comes to oil, when it comes to cleaners im like hey Windex works, I think you just would go to the store and just buy what was there.

And that’s the. So can I just say something that you might not agree with me? And that’s fine. This is my opinion. That’s what this part of this podcast is. I’m sharing some things that we’ve learned. But I had to realize that I was just going to the store and getting what was familiar to me, what I recognized from my childhood. We we can. Yeah, but you don’t know if you trust it until you use it. Right. And so sometimes I would branch out and try something new. But that oftentimes gets so disappointed and I would try something that was organic or natural and then it just stunk. I mean, some of them even smelled like urine. It was awful. And I wouldn’t use them. I threw them away. And it’s literally like those bottles, you guys, they’re like four ninety nine to seven ninety nine for a 16 ounce bottle or a 20 ounce bottle. And so about I think it was probably like 12, 13 years ago.

I, I had a friend that was coming to the house and she was helping clean because when our kids were little, we did hire out and get help every month for a while and every week for a couple years as well.

And we had someone come and help us with that cleaning of the house. And I loved this friend of mine. And I was really concerned that she was constantly inhaling bad chemicals and she was getting more educated and trying to use organic stuff. So she’d come and use things and say, hey, how does that smell to you? And this is working. This is not working. She’d we’d have these conversations. And I remember thinking, like, I don’t want her to be putting herself in danger, like using these really harsh chemicals because she was actually starting to get some, like, skin cancers on her arms. And she attributed it to cleaning houses for many, many years.

And so I just watched that and I was like, whoa, I don’t wear gloves. And she is and I clean a lot. And so then I started, like, kind of trying to look into what I could use. And that was when I started buying the organic or natural stuff, which was not 499. It was like seven ninety nine a bottle.

Spend more so much more money, work less. But it didn’t work. So then I would like open it up and I would get essential oils and I’d start adding essential oils to it, which was costing me even more money. And that started working better. Yeah.

And it smelled better whats the solution. Well is there new tech. I mean.

Well actually well for me I just didn’t know about it.

I mean, so I use young living thieves, household cleaner, and you can dilute it to different levels to make it stronger for certain projects, like if your cleaning a shower or a bathroom or you can make it less potent if you’re just like wiping down a counter or something like that. Right. But before I was using that, I was making my own household cleaner with vinegar, cleaning vinegar and Castile soap. I still use both of those products when I’m mixing my really I make this like really strong concoction. The Angie Cleaner. And I’ll have like two caps of theives household cleaner and a half a cup of white vinegar.

And then I’ll put like three squirts of the peppermint Dr. Bronner’s Castile soap, and then I’ll add some other kind of cleaner like I’ll do Orange Essential Oil and I’ll do like 10 or 20 drops of that. Or maybe I’ll do 10 drops of that and 10 drops of time or rosemary.

Or I think this is awesome. People are probably super interested, but that’s really confusing. So that’s why you need to get. I just remembered that the recipes are in the 25 page download. The work, that’s a good. I’m glad you said they’re all there. So feel free just to talk through as they can go get that later.

Ok. So anyway, I was making my own household cleaners without using theives. And then when I started using theives, I added that to it. And now it’s just like I use theives for everything. I use it for hardwood floors, I use it for walls, I use it for actually everything.

It was baffling how well it works. I bought it. I cleaned the barbecue. Oh my goodness. You were OK. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t think you were truly a believer until you did that. Yeah, it’s true because I mean, I’m actually, um. I don’t do a lot of cleaning.

Well, yes. So I was the barbecue hadn’t been clean for a while.

Pollen hit. And we’ll have the rain and it.

But also had this grease all over it from just not being cleaned. And Vera went for the winter. You were about to use it for the first day. And I and she gave me this bottle that she made.

It goes this is strongest stuff you’ve got.

I’m like, it’s thieves. Just use it. Like, this is all I have Isaac.

It just took it off so easy.

Oh, it was so funny. No, seriously, though, you guys. I hand him this homemade bottle and he goes. Do you have anything stronger? And I go, that’s all I use. And he goes, Ok.

He comes back in and he’s like, whoa!

Totally sold on it. And like, you’re so funny.

But in all seriousness, though, the great thing is, is I know I can hand the cleaner to my four year old and use it and know that he’s safe. And I love that. I love that I can have my kids helping with things. Now, in regards to like there are actually even other tools that I’ve used over the years. And a friend a few years ago introduced me to Norwex cloths, for example, which if you don’t want to even have to use chemicals, they just use hot water. It’s like it’s like magic. It’s crazy. And I use the Norewex. The pink glass one for all of our windows. And that’s great to be able to give just a towel to Eli and the streets are gone. Bam. The windows look amazing.

And so anyway, that’s just another side tip. You could look into that they sell them on Amazon. They’re awesome. They’re microfiber cloths that. There’s a science behind it. Just Google it. Watch a YouTube video. You’re going to be shocked. Must have nanotechnology. You know, there’s something there. It actually does some crazy thing, huh?

I don’t know about nanotech, but anyway, so there’s a joke where we jumped into cleaning and we skipped over eating.

We’ll go back to eating, so we’ll do cleaning first. So the thing that’s important about this is that obviously we want our homes to be a clean, healthy place where our kids can grow up, where we can entertain, practice, hospitality. And one of the things that when we were first married, I, I didn’t really know how to clean. I’m just gonna say it, which some people might go, what do you mean you don’t have to clean? Not hard. And you just get chemicals and paper towels and you wipe things right. But the reality is, is I wasn’t aware of, like, cleaning certain things. Here’s an example. We had these front loading washing machines for like six or seven years. And all of a sudden there was this like mildewy smell that was inside because I had left, like, towels in it for too long or something like a day. I forgot they were in there, but I couldn’t get the smell out of the washing machine. And I was like trying like vinegar, washing it and all kinds of things. I wasn’t using oils at the time. And you know what it was? It’s the little tray that you pull out to put the soap in.

It actually comes all the way out. And there was a bunch of minerals and gunk just all coating over it. It was disgusting. And so I like, got it to an old toothbrush. And I was using dish soap and I cleaned it and I washed it with vinegar and did a cycle and bought Bam Gone. And I was like, wow, no one ever told me that I need to, like, take apart my appliances and like the filter in your dishwasher, periodically and clean them out. Right. And so I didn’t. My point is, I didn’t know how to clean and keep things sanitary truly, because you can think that your washing clothes. But what about what you don’t see that’s behind there? That’s like bacteria mold.

Like there was black mold there, you know? And so there’s that aspect. But then there’s also the aspect of what you’re cleaning with and not realizing that there are synthetic chemicals that are in there. And not only are you getting them on your skin, if you’re not wearing gloves, you’re also breathing in the fumes like, OK, so our bathroom is like this tiny there’s this tiny little room that’s just for the toilet, right? Like, I go in there and I sprayed it with some of those harsh chemicals. I probably gagging and choking. That’s not good for our bodies. Right. And it’s been proven that some of these synthetic chemicals can actually trigger all kinds of things, autoimmune diseases, all kinds of issues. And so, yeah, of course, we shouldn’t be using these. And when you do research on them and you just Google, right. Or just ask your doctor about synthetic chemicals in the air, they will tell you it can take up to two weeks to get the residue from those synthetic chemicals out of the air in your home. So you’re not just breathing it in during that time? No, no, no. You become desensitized to the smell. And it’s still lingering there at lower levels for the next couple weeks. And you’re inhaling that into your lungs. It’s not good. You know, it’s affecting your immune system. And so when we started like becoming more aware, when I started becoming more aware of these different things, it started to become. There was a lot and it could have easily become overwhelming for me. And I remember talking just to a friend about this, and she was like, whoa, Angie, all these things you’re sharing, I’m overwhelmed.

Those like, yeah, me too. I have kind of a lot, don’t I like this a lot of stuff. Like, I want to go dairy free and I want to go egg free and I want to do all these things. And, you know what it dawned on me is that you just have to pick your battles.

I remember you were grinding your own wheat and making your own bread. And that was one that you stopped fighting.

I did after about six years. And you know what honestly actually there was also a lot of work. There was also I used to drive 45 minutes. One way to go pick up raw milk. Right, because I didn’t want that next to them. But yeah, that one lasted about a while. That was a few years. But I just couldn’t justify it anymore. Take piling all the kids in the car and driving for an hour and a half to get milk every week. And so, like, you just have to pick your battles. You have to evaluate the season of life that you’re in and be OK and and pray about it. Like, I just had to come to that place and go, you know what? Is this really worth it? I mean, I’m doing my best. The Lord knows that. And Walk in Grace, right? You just do your best. And so I just want to encourage you guys, as we’re talking about these things, some of the the the things that we bring up, you might be like, wow, this is just this is a lot maybe to a new mom. And I just want to encourage you pick one thing that we’ve talked about and just start without one thing, whether that’s switching and ditching your chemicals or maybe you, Buy a few houseplants.

And what I often tell our kids is not knowledge by itself is almost useless knowledge with implementation changes. Everything its true. So it’s really important. So you could go to college and get all that knowledge and it’s almost useless unless it enriches your life to enrich other people’s lives because you’re better able to impact people. And so I think that’s what you’re saying here, is that, hey, just a couple things can really make a big difference. Yeah. You don’t have to do everything.

No, you don’t have to do everything. And I would definitely say if this is something that you really do want more mentoring in or educating and like take advantage of our healthy homes. Mom hacks Workshop. Reach out to me, but also try to find some older moms that maybe are living this way in your community in real life that you could ask them questions of.

I Want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already? Is the date night one sheet? It is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date night. Just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family, no matter what time of year. It’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to college. Parenting.com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything, a CourageousParenting.com. And I also just want to share real quick about the parenting mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self-paced program with live engagement from us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it. You can find out more at CourageousParenting.com.

Steven, I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children.

What Angie and Isaac have done in creating this is literally phenomenal, this program provided awesome scripture, based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world.

It has given me a vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents are trying to raise our kids biblically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of heart.

We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children who have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is.

Do your legacy a favor and yourself a favor and just do it.

one of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year. And I could not recommend it more or no longer fearing dark days ahead.

But we’re so excited to raise the lights to be leaders for the next generation.

A lot of people have questions about dishes in the dishwasher in that aspect of cleaning.

So there’s a few different thoughts that I have regarding the dishes. So first of all, I’m just going to flat out admit that doing the dishes is one of my least liked chores. I actually enjoy it now, but for the first, like, really long time, I mean, probably 12 years. I did not like doing dishes. And then our kids started getting old enough to where we were like and there were so many of them that we decided, oh, we need to start like dividing up some of the household chores so that the kids are contributing. And so moms not doing everything and working super late into the night and getting up so early. All like working the whole time. And I was just getting worn out. And so we started implementing different duties and teams and some of the kids were always helping me. But it became this thing was like, okay, put two kids on each meal doing the dishes.

And I realized that, like, they were having a bad attitude doing it. And I was like trying to hold them accountable to having a good attitude. Yet I wasn’t having a good attitude myself.

And so that was like one of those things that right away I knew I can’t actually talk to my kids about having good attitude if I don’t do it myself. So I put myself into rotation with them to model, you know. And I had to pray. You guys, like I prayed and said, God help me to enjoy doing the dishes. Yeah. Would you just help me to delight in it? And so I found that like putting on the worship music, singing while I’m doing the dishes, maybe even doing a little dance every here and now. Like it became fun. And the kids saw me delighting in something that they knew I didn’t like before. And they saw that it was a choice. It was a choice that I was making. And as I was doing it, there was one time, I don’t know if I, I, I don’t know where this thought came from, but I was doing a bunch of dishes and I was like, my mind was going towards. Man, there are so many dishes here. This is so frustrating. I hate this. I literally thought that in that moment I went Preach to yourself.

Angie, you don’t hate it. What can you be thankful for in this moment? And I. Oh, I know it was I had been reading the thousand gifts with the kids. Right. And so, as in this process of trying to look for things I was thankful for and talking to the kids about it.

And I literally went, okay, what can I be thankful for?

Because I’m having a bad attitude inside myself. And I thought all these dishes represent the kids. God gave me. I mean, if I didn’t have all the kids that I have, then I wouldn’t have all these dishes.

And I need to be thankful. And then that that moved into the same perspective towards laundry. Although I’ve always I’ve always actually really liked laundry, but I’m kind of weird like that. But the point is, is doing the things that you don’t like and choosing to have a good attitude are the best lessons that you could teach your kids. But it takes humility. It takes digging in with them and doing it with them versus like just chopping it off and having them do it. All right.

And and so, anyway, that’s one of the biggest keys to success in business life. Whatever you’re trying to accomplish is the ability to get yourself to do the things you don’t want to do.

Yeah. And the do has helped me a lot over the years and doing ahead of time and urgently without procrastination and get them done.

Now, as far as like you, when it comes to dishes and soap like, I think it’s important that we recognize that there’s like residues from the soaps that we use that get left on the dishes and different things like that. And of course, there is a season where BPA was like the big thing, like be careful, warnings don’t have plastic. And I remember when that happened, I don’t remember how many kids we had, maybe four. And I remember going, oh my goodness, I need to get rid of all my plastic. It’s bad for my kids and can cause all these health issues. Right. There is this thing. And. And so instead of going out and buying brand new glass, I tried to be frugal because I actually really like it’s like a game to me to try to save money. And I did get rid of my plastic. I donated it, I think. And then we went garage sailing and we found old school pyrex and glass dishes. And we’ve never really turned around. Like we have mainly glass. We have a few of the new ones, new plastics for the babies that are clean.

But that’s an important thing, like just being aware of these different teratogens that can potentially trigger things in your kids, trigger headaches, trigger attitude, mood issues, health issues, all kinds of things. Another big one is laundry. Having a routine for laundry can be really important for moms. This is this is actually something I think every mom needs to have, kind of like dishes. We have a routine for dishes.

You know, it’s so quiet is just seeing how young our kids are when they’re doing their own laundry.

Yeah, that’s actually just been something that from the beginning when our kids were little, I that was how they learned their colors was how to sort laundry. And I remember it was like fun for them when we had the the two story house and they would throw the clothes over the banister to the entryway and we’d have all the kids clothes there and then they’d all help sort it and then we’d do all the laundry.

And one day and that was back and we had two washers and dryers. It’s a little different then.

But, you know, quick story on that. She was on bed rest and I had to take over the lawn.

Oh, my goodness. I don’t know why I tell these stories. They don’t make me look good.

Anyways, I thought, well, I will just do it all once.

And so I had heaps of laundry in the living room.

Just mountains. And I was thinking I could do this, but one washer and one dryer and we had a huge family and I’d been asking for an extra one for a while.

I realized how important was.

And so they I like, whoa, this really doesn’t work. If you don’t consistently do it, you can’t just do it all at once on a big day.

It just doesn’t work. And I got so behind and I was trying to do it and I’m like, that’s it.

And I hired a carpenter to build big cabinets and I bought a new four front loading washer and dryer.

It was like the best looking wonder you could imagine after that. Know.

And then years later, a renters stole our washers and dryers. And that’s a story that’s in an episode, actually. Yeah. OK, so, you know, I just would encourage you guys, though, with laundry. I think that this is something that I know I underestimated for a long time. I thought that we were doing pretty good being a toxin free home and building our immunities and protecting our immune system by not exposing ourselves to extra synthetic stuff. But I’ll be honest, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I actually was like, okay, I’m. Try to get rid of the the fabric softener sheets. I was like addicted to them. I loved those things, you guys. It was so bad I would take fabric softener sheets and I put them underneath my seats in the car because I liked how it’s made the car smell like clean, fresh laundry. Went on a hot summer day. And I would just sit there and I didn’t inhail the fabric softener sent, but I was so full of chemicals and so bad for me. And I had no idea that that was one of the things that was contributing to my migraines, headaches and, you know. And it also was probably I didn’t know. Now, thinking about this, I feel so bad because we have a son that has had migraine headaches and a daughter also.

She has ocular migraines. He has migraines syndrome. I also have migraines syndrome. And you guys, they can be debilitating, like just horrendous headaches. And we had been we had taken years trying to figure out what was going on with him. We tried Chiropractors, Atlas orthogonal chiropractic to to fix his Atlus bone. And so the oxygen is going through the spinal cord better. We tried vision therapy glasses because he has light sensitivity and thought that maybe that was creating headaches. We detox off of Dairy thinking that that was going to help. It took away all blue light exposure. We tried so many taking magnesium. We were doing oils. We’re doing all of these things. OK, now to try to help him and then they’re in. It wasn’t that there was one thing was probably like a little bit of all of them, actually. Can I just say that we keep saying that there’s more than one thing going on. It’s not just one thing that does it. But then the missing piece was when I stopped using frapp fabric softener sheets and I switched over our laundry soap to be toxin free laundry soap.

And over time, it took a while. Took like months. But over time. Then all of a sudden it was like it wasn’t he wasn’t having the headaches at the same degree that he was. And then all of a sudden he was having days without headaches. And it was the same for me. And so I’ve just found and I will say that we’ve also struggled with some of our little kids when they were little, having patches of eczema at different times. And that has completely stopped and gone away since we switched our laundry soap. And so I think that we underestimate how things on our clothes actually are rubbing against our skin. They absorb into our skin and then they’re in our system and our body fights them. Right, because it’s a strategy. And so being aware of these things and realizing, wow, like I have a choice, you know what I put in my body and choosing to not put bad things in, but not just doing this stuff, like, can I just go back to the main thing that we were teaching in the last podcast, which is it’s so important that we teach our kids the why behind everything we do, so that we’re leaving a legacy so that then when they launch from the home, they don’t just go out and get the worst products and then all of a sudden they have headaches.

Again, they can’t focus. Maybe they their immune system gets attacked and they’re like, I don’t know what’s going on since I moved out. I’m super sick now. You know what? Like, we want to set them up for success. And so part of that is teaching them and leaving that legacy of how to take care of themselves and how to be clean, you know, making sure that they’re cleaning the bathrooms at least every week, you know, wiping things down. A few mom packs are like keeping a little bottle of peppermint oil next to the toilet and putting A couple of drops in and just flushing the toilet with peppermint oil. Well, that can help to keep it clean on a regular basis. Right. Or even like Dr. Bronner’s Castile soap and squirting some of that in every once in a while. And so there’s like different things that you can do to help keep the maintenance down. So it’s not such a huge project when you’re going to it. Right. OK, so before we continue, we want to share with you guys about the Courageous Parenting Mentor program, the mentor programs.

It’s incredible what God has been doing with it. We listen to God. He wanted us to make this thing. And it’s really an expression of what we learned from his word and what we’ve learned from mentors, books and what we’ve done in the last 18 years is really the biblical parenting program. We’ve seen so much fruit from great kids. And we would love to see your legacy impacted by it. You’ve sent me. And so you can check it out at CourageousParenting.com

All right. So let’s dive in and talk a little bit about preventative health from the perspective of nutrition, vitamins and exercise. Because of the other things that people think about, we can even touch on sleep. But I’ll be really honest with you. Obviously, we’re seeing this podcast at like Midnight Isaac and I are not the best role models for getting sleep and having sleepa priority. I know that that’s something that I’m convicted about getting better at for sure. Definitely not perfect. No. Well, any of anything writing. But that’s just something I just have to say. It’s. That’s a caveat.

Sleep is important, we do know it’s important and and sometimes we’re better than others.

Yeah, I would say, though, that we are good about prioritizing sleep for our kids when they’re younger. Like, yeah, we’re really good at being consistent and making sure that they’re taking naps and that they’re getting the appropriate amount of sleep for their age category, which if you’re listening and you go weight appropriate and asleep for age category, what do you mean by that?

I would just encourage you to look into do a little research and see what sleep studies have said regarding how many hours of sleep kids typically need. They’ll give you a range of about a four hour range, but you’d be surprised to find out that teenagers actually need almost as much sleep as newborn babies. Yeah. Which is insane. But so I just put that out there because you’re probably like wait what.

And so I just think it’s important, though. Again, we know our bodies. We know how God designed us. We know our kids. We know how God designed them. We have grace for them. We help create and stimulate of environment that is going to foster a place where they’re gonna be completely healthy on all levels, which is physical, spiritual, mental, emotional and psychologically, too. Right. And so part of that is getting good sleep. But we’re gonna dive in and talk a little bit about nutritional diet and things like that. So there’s three different categories regarding nutrition in my mind. Okay so you’ve got your actual diet, which is what you eat. Everybody has a diet. And so our kind of philosophy has been good things and keep bad things out as much as possible. So I’m just gonna share with you guys some of our a few of our Tolpin family ways. You by no means have to do these. I’m just going to share with you what some of our things have been with our kids, especially when they were younger. So we do absolutely no sugar with our kids until they’re 18 months, unless Isaac tries to slip them some ice cream. A couple mistakes.

I just like to be the first one to introduce something special.

He’s so funny. But typically we’re like, no sugar until 18 months. We don’t drink juice. We did make that mistake with our first two kids a lot. And then we just realized, like, wow, there’s so much sugar in juice.

I mean, there are some exceptions sometimes, but it’s not a regular.

Yeah. And so what I was going that’s exactly was going to say we have special occasions. But as far as like a daily thing, we don’t do like juice every single day, although we do juice, fruits and vegetables juicing. And we do do that and we do do smoothies. And one of those two things typically does happen on a pretty often basis, like four or five days a week. But that’s different than the juice that you buy that has a ton of sugar in it. OK. Another one of our things is to not eat too many filler snacks, especially when it’s super close to meals. Kind of a stickler for kids not eating like an hour and a half around a meal unless they’re going to eat real food. And even at that, I’m I’m pretty much like, no, we’re gonna eat. So that’s been something that we have had as a Tolpin family way. Another one is we try to stay away from fast food. And I know that, like, obviously that’s that’s a hard one for a lot of people. It was super hard for us, actually, for a while. Isaac probably wasn’t aware of this because he was working so much. But even when I was like out about the kids going to swimming lessons, driving past Starbucks, going to Starbucks and the kids for Mom’s gonna get something. Everybody wants something.

I saw a transactions. Yeah. And so I struggled with that. Right. I didn’t want to get myself something and not get other people something. I didn’t want to be special in that way. I don’t know. I just didn’t want to leave the kids out because they would ask. And it’s kind of a wimp. And that kind of regard you might be thinking. But we don’t do fast food anymore, really, unless you’re travelling.

It’s very, very rare. And I will just share something with you. It was actually on our RV trip about three years ago that my conviction for this grew even more. And you’re thinking, wait, what? She was on three month RV trip, and they didn’t eat fast food. And we did eat fast food a few times. And we were very careful about where we went and we tried to get the healthiest thing on the menu. And even at that, what we noticed, this is why my conviction is pretty strong now.

What we noticed is that when we would eat fast food, somebody would get sick within a few days.

And so their bodies weren’t used to it. And when you’re not used to it, it doesn’t it just it isn’t necessarily the healthiest for you.

Some places. It’s not even real food. And in addition, you don’t actually know what your food is exposed to. Right. I mean, let’s I’m just gonna be honest. A lot of the people that work in fast food don’t really like their job very much. And so, you know, they try to get them to wash their hands regularly and they do their best. But the reality is, is sometimes people don’t like their job either. Right. And so or maybe they’re there and they’re sick and you don’t know it. And and so I just you put in a lot of faith in people. And if you’re going to fast food in that regard. And we’ve just seen the negative consequences of having done that. Yeah.

Just a few times and then going, OK, we’re not going to eat out, we don’t eat out. And then we’re totally healthy for for a long time. So except for special occasions or like an emergency situation.

So how do you manage that when you’re going here and there and it’s hard, you have to do it right and you just have to be prepared.

I mean, that actually goes to a totally different topic. I wasn’t thinking and talking about, but having the pantries and doing like three month shopping at Costco as your standard, buying things online that are like I buy rice in bulk cash and carry or buy oatmeal in bulk cash Carry, I always have it on hand. Having food, making double and having stuff in the fridge, that’s easy to eat quickly and warm up again. That was a wholesome meal that you can just throw on the frypan or saute pan and heated up real quick. Right. And so also cooking for a large family has been a chore that I have had to grow in and learn. It’s not something that I knew right away.

But even cooking, just cooking from scratch. Sometimes I share recipes on Instagram and I get people asking me for the recipe. And if you have asked me for a recipe, please don’t be discouraged by this. You can keep asking me and I’ll do my best to give it to you. And I just feel so bad that I’m not the kind of cook that follows recipes.

I just kind of do things. And that is it had been a fun thing, actually, to teach my kids to cook with them. Just go, oh, we’re all out of broccoli. Well, let’s just throw cauliflower in and see how that tastes. Oh, we’re all at ground beef. Let’s just throw sausage and let’s throw this chopped chicken sausage in too. And, oh, we have a few pieces of bacon. Let’s fry that up, cut it up and stick it in too, you know, like we’ve just create things that people don’t necessarily think of doing. And it can be a fun thing together. And then the last thing that is going gonna share with you guys is that we as far as a Tolpin family way, we have this thing where we say three to five thankful bites of everything. That’s a little side tip that we have always done with our kids under six years old and when we’re training them to eat what’s been served. Right. And the key is the thankful bites, because I’ve I’ve witnessed a lot of parents over the years try to get their kids to eat what’s on their plate. Right. And the kids are having a bad attitude. They’re having a hard time with it. And so for us, we have talked to our kids about being thankful for what they’ve been given, which I’m sure a lot of parents do as well. But the actual encouragement that they get from us every single meal is you need to eat three thankful bites of everything and thankful is having a smile on your face right or like making a weird noise or not wanting to eat it or whining about it. Right. Though, because if they do that, then they’re going to sit there longer to eat it. And so but again, I have to say that with this rule, we always had grace regarding, like, OK, no, your kids. Are they allergic to something? Do they really genuinely like does something texture wise bother them? Is there a deeper reason why they’re sensitive? Their senses are sensitive to textures. Right.

Or there’s another thing, too, is. Have you ever been overwhelmed by the size of the task ahead of you? Like, that’s such a big mountain of something to do that you just don’t want to do anything. So you procrastinate it and you do all the easy things. So everybody can probably relate to that. But it’s also when you give your young kids too much on their plate. Yes. And they don’t even want to participate in it because they feel an expectation that they’re going to have to eat this. And it’s like, I don’t even want to try already knowing to let my parents down. And so I remember this one time, as you was until the pizza story, the pizza story.

So I’m so glad he’s telling the pizza story.

After I was watching Kelsey when she was a young girl and she was a picky eater and stubborn eater.

And I mean, I made homemade pizza. Yeah. And she wasn’t sure about it.

And she and she didn’t want to eat any. And I gave her some pizza and she didn’t want to eat. And I’m like, OK, I have to get my I have to think about this real good. Now can I work this. So I got I went and I found the biggest weight plate I could possibly find. It was the kitchen. A huge like platter. It was. I got my plate. Cutter and I took a piece and I cut just a little sliver off of it. And I may I put it pristinely in the center of the plate and I said, okay, Kelsey, here’s here’s your pizza. This is about what you can handle.

And she she looked at it, but she just gobbled it right up and says, proving my theory. Right. And then I cut another little piece and I put it on.

Oh, look, a good job. She gobbled up and I kept doing that producing shift to four pieces of pizza. And so sometimes it’s easier to take action in smaller increments. So maybe you’re asking too much. Then do anything he asked less than they do more.

I love this story. I totally remember when this happened. I was so surprised. Right. Because it’s just easier as a mom, especially when you have a lot of kids, you just serve everybody up. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Right. And maybe you’re giving them different sizes based upon how old they are or how big they’re right. But the reality is, is Isaac’s approach is great because she kept asking for more and she wasn’t overwhelmed. And some kids just you know, this was certain foods like especially if it’s a new food that they’re not used to, they’re like, I don’t know if I want to eat this.

And they’re like, overwhelmed just looking at the plate with the food on it. And so having walking with understanding is what I’m hearing from you. I think that that’s a theme throughout both this podcast and last one is that in all the things that we’re doing, we need to be walking with understanding with our children, but also teaching them these things, these whys, so that that becomes a legacy that they are also walking in understanding with their kids. The other thing that I wanted to just talk about briefly was supplements of vitamins, because I think that it’s very important to at least mention them. I think that a lot of people underestimate how deficient our food is today. Yeah.

And there is a need for us to actually be proactive and figure out what we are lacking. And then to fulfill what we’re lacking in. And sometimes you can figure that out on your own. Right. If someone is anemic, they usually have some anemic symptoms. And so they can if they’re having those symptoms, they can go easily, get a blood test, find out they’re anemic, told the doctor. And then there’s easy supplements. Right. Like Clora Oxygen with the coconut milk. Mix that together, maybe juice, some green leafs. Have some red meat. There’s lots of awesome options for helping people who are anemic, but there are many different things that could be potentially deficient issues. Right.

And so I just want to take this moment to say I think that it’s really important that we seek out wisdom from the health care professionals that can actually get to the root of the problem and not just try to mask it with a pill.

We live in such a pop a pill culture that it doesn’t actually help you get to the bottom as to why you’re having the issue. And that that, my friends, is the problem. You know, like we need to be preventative. But we also need to figure out and do research and find people who are going to be advocates with us and help us gain the tools and the knowledge that we need so that we can actually be taking care of our bodies holistically because God gave us our bodies to steward. And it’s a really important task. And we don’t want to be like, I don’t know about you guys, but I think about my future as a grandma. Like, I want to have energy to be running around my grandkids. I want Isaac to be able to. And so for us, like getting a good naturopathic doctor, seeing them, getting tests done, why their advice is risky and uncertain.

World, which is the theme with their whole ministry, really is how to how to equip your kids in uncertain world, how to parent. It’s super important. And it’s even more uncertain right now. It feels that way. But you know, what is certain is God’s. We know that. But so we do not have fear. But there’s new viruses, right. So we’re in the age of weird viruses, new viruses, increasing numbers of these things. And, you know, we need to be preventative. We need be ready. We need to optimize our bodies and have them as healthy as possible, not as an idol.

Right. For the purpose of being equipped and ready for the viruses and challenges that come. That’s right. Why not? Why not give her best to stand up against these things?

That’s right. And it’s really giving our kids the best to. Right. Because we know that the family suffers when mom and dad are not doing well. Right. And you brought up something that’s super important that I that I think is just that. We talked about this in the first podcast, not making idols out of any of these things. Right. But people can easily make an idol out of their health, out of exercise and diet. And that is actually something we need to evaluate in ourselves and go, OK. What are my kids watching like? Did they think that it’s more important for mom to go workout at the gym than it is to meet with them and read the Bible? Like, is it this thing like they get angry about if they miss it? Because if if those are if there are any symptoms like that, we need to be honest. We need to actually. We need a. Crucify that idol because God is a jealous God. We need to keep our priorities straight and also recognize that we need to evaluate things and go, hey, is this eternal? Yeah, right. And so having that perspective and I know that for me, like, I’ll be honest, like I really struggle with right now in the last like six or seven years, I’ve struggled with making workout time a priority for me. And I appreciate that it became a priority for my husband because he was my accountability and my encouragement to be able to do that in the sense of going, hey Angie I know that you used to love to do this. I know this is helpful for you. I want to help you to be able to do this. And I think that it’s important that we do that for each other. But one of the ways that Isaac helped me to do that was to find someone that could come over and work out with me at home and teach me things that I can be doing at home everyday. And so, you know. And there are many personal trainers that are out there.

But I think finding some way that you can meet with locally is a really cool thing. So if you are local to central Oregon and you’re looking for someone, just reach out to me. I’m happy to point you in the right direction. But I think that that’s been a huge thing for me. And regaining strength. Yeah.

But also, like, it’s good for my kids to see me working out, actually. It’s huge for their future. Right. Like. And, you know, I did. I used to do it when they were young. Teaching Aquarobics. But then also I would go to the gym like four or five days a week and we would get a babysitter. And we were able to afford that. We some people are not able to afford it. Right. But maybe they have family that lives nearby. You know, there are things that you can do, but you just need to communicate with your spouse, make priorities, check your season of life, count the costs and pick your battles right. And then be really purposeful with those battles. And it’s God will bless your efforts. I just know he will. And you guys, I can just encourage you that over the years, as we’ve been pursuing and being trying to be wise about picking our battles and like Isaac said, there was a season where I was grinding my own wheat making bread. I don’t do that anymore. I haven’t done that for years. There were a few years where I wasn’t doing it, but Kelsey was doing it for our family. But that was because she absolutely loved it, you know? And so, like, I just think that there there is a need for us all to be walking in grace with ourselves. Yeah. I’m going to try one or two things that I haven’t been doing, and I’m going to do a little research so that I have some conviction behind my decision. Yeah, right. And I can talk to my husband so he knows we’re on the same page. We’re in alignment. He can hold me accountable if I have hard time. And then you just take the next step.

So thanks for joining us today, you guys. I hope this podcast was an encouragement to you if you are looking for more. I don’t know, mentoring or encouragement on this kind of stuff. I really want to encourage you to join me for the Healthy Home Mom Hack’s workshop, which is free. You can find the show notes or reach out to me on social media. And I’m happy to connect.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes most Christians are making. But more than that. It’s an incredible community. You’ll have access to a private online group live Webcast and the Courageous Parenting text message line where Angie and I weekly encouragements straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentorship program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com.

That’s CourageousParenting.com

Scripture In This Episode:

Genesis 1:31 – “Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day.”

Genesis 9:3 – “Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. I have given you all things, even as the green herbs.”

Genesis 1:12 – “And the earth brought forth grass, the herb that yields seed according to its kind, and the tree that yields fruit, whose seed is in itself according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.”

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting podcast, the weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom, and I’m Isaac from Resolute Man. We’ve been married 20 years and have seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically based on the raw truth found in the Bible.

We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. Hey, guys. And we’re talking about something a little bit different direction than usual. So it’s exciting.

Yeah, we’re gonna we’re going to talk a little bit about all the things that stay at home moms do and moms do, whether they’re stay at home mom or not. Right. So we hold a lot of roles in Life. Yeah. Whether you call yourself chef or you’re the teacher, the counselor or parent or if you’re working and mom working outside the home and being a mom.

So, healthy home tips during uncertain times. It’s uncertain times. And but it’s even more important right now to really be nourishing the family and keeping everybody healthy.

Yes. So we just thought that we would have a we definitely did prepare some things for this talk for sure. But we thought we would have a little bit of a candid conversation, too, in the sense of just sharing about the importance of of being proactive in being caring for your family and nurturing your family and why that’s so important, because that has been something I’ve been passionate about.

Well, around here, you’re definitely the mom that knows all about health. I mean, if somebody has something wrong, they not only know how to describe it really, really clearly and detailed even if they are very small, but you know exactly what to give them. And you’re not technically a doctor, of course. No. So there’s a disclaimer here that. Yes, you’re not a doctor. Yeah, but you have 20 years of doing this with our eight kids and myself and yourself. Yes. And you’ve done an amazing job. There’s a lot of really cool information. So. I think this is going to be awesome.

Yeah. And you guys, we’re not going to be diving in and giving you, like, specific, you know, things to use for specific ailments or anything like that. That’s not what this conversation is about. But we are going to talk about the importance of being proactive in your health, of your family and the health of your home. Proactive and preventative care is really what I would like to call it. And I really do believe that this is a jurisdiction. And can I just say I enjoy it.

I really enjoy it. I if you’re watching the YouTube video, you notice that there’s this enormous, massive book. It’s like, how would you says five, six inches tall, at least six inches. Okay, you guys, this was written in 1912. This is a book on medicine. My great grandmother gave me. She let me have it. Did you read this? No, I haven’t read the whole thing, but it has a lot of really amazing information in it everywhere. Where do I get it? Oh, you can’t. You can’t get it. This is it. Yeah.

I thought it would be fun just to share with you guys, because my great grandma. She was she helped too. She’s really involved in my life when I was growing up. She was in her 70s and 80s when she was helping to take care of me. She died at 94. Her mom lived to be 104. She was widowed at 32 years old and was faithful to my great grandpa, and died when she was 94. So and she was quite a strong little woman. She was like five foot two or five foot three and just a little spirited spicy woman.

She gave me an ending that she painted. And I think you’re a little jealous about that.

But she gave it to you when you got baptized anyways. Yes. So my great grandma was an inspiration to me. I remember watching her. She would think she’d sit in what she called her thinking chair. And she had her journal and she would have all kinds of books out, whether it was a farmer’s almanac because she had a garden in her backyard or she had medicine books. And this is one that she was always looking at. And I just remember her like I would have an issue, like if I was sick or feeling not so good, she would recognize that and she’d start asking me questions and then she’d try to figure out what would make. We feel good. It was like this. She was just taking care of me. That’s what she had always done for herself. Yeah. And I never really thought about it until I became a mom. And she didn’t really teach me, like, a lot of tricks or tricks of the trade per say, although there were a few things like cutting an onion and sticking it next to your bed when if you’re sick at night. That’s kind of that’s kind of weird. But if you listen, just give it a try. If you have sickness in you in your home, put. Just cut an onion in half and stick it next to the bedside and. And in that next morning, take a look at the onion. It’s not going to be too pretty. Look at them. And if you let it sit there for a couple more days, it really actually absorbs a lot of those things, which is interesting. One of the bad things, a lot of bad things. Yeah.

And so just be careful eating onions when you’re out.

Yeah. So anyway, just growing up with Grandma, was it. Now, looking back, I really wish I was more intentional in asking her questions. Yeah. So if you are someone who has someone older in your life that has a lot of wisdom gleaned it, do not take them for granted. Glean Glean. Glean.

Well, we’re talking about healthy home tips during uncertain times. You know, really how to give remedies that are natural to your family and so forth. But we are firm believers in medicine, too, and doctors and so forth. But we always have believed and you really encourage this. And me too, is that well, let’s try first a natural method. And if it’s not working, then and then we’ll go to the doctors. The doctors are good and so forth. But we don’t want to just run to the doctor right at first glance of something if there’s a natural way we can handle it.

Yeah. It’s interesting that you bring that up because I did a podcast actually with Dr. Megan Bert on a topic of not making your health an idol, but making it a priority and finding that balance, which is what you’re actually kind of talking about. I don’t know if you realize that, but a lot of times people are. It’s easy to make something an idol. And I think that a lot of times we don’t ask the hard questions. To really find out if we have made things an idol whether that be the natural remedies or or the doctors. Right. And really, the the truest, I guess, test would be who do you go to first? What do you go to first? Mm hmm. And so for us, one of the things that I always do, this set, this was actually a great conversation. One of the things I would encourage every mom to do is, you know, if your kid has a weird rash or something. Right. Well, what does the Bible say to take first to take everything to the Lord in Prayer? Yeah. So that should actually be our first response. And in doing that, now, it’s of course, sometimes there’s an emergency. Right? Like there was a car accident or maybe someone has a heart attack. You’re going to be Praying right away, but you’re also going to call 911. Right. And so you’re going to get help. Exactly. And you know what, though? God is always there for help to help us.

And so we need to be going to him first. And if we aren’t, it actually reveals that we’ve kind of made an idol out of other things, too. Now, I’m not talking about taking an hour to pray before you call 911. That’s not what I mean here. Right. You do both. You know, you’re on the phone waiting for someone to pick up and you’re like, Lord, please help them to pick up. You know, you’re praying. You’re giving it to God first. And then the next thing you do is you. If you if it’s not an emergency. Right. Like most things are not emergencies, you’re gonna do what the Bible says, which is to seek knowledge, seek understanding, seek wisdom. Now, how are you going to do that? You’re going to be through prayer. You’re asking God to lead you to the right thing and he’ll prompt you if you’re paying attention, Right. So seeking understanding, let’s say you have a kid that’s not feeling well. You’re going to seek understanding. You’re not just going to automatically assume you know what it is necessarily unless you see the sliver. Right. You’re going to ask questions. You’re going to be patient. You’re listen, you’re in it to get it diagnose. Right, in a sense of like going, hey, what’s going on? Is it your tummy that’s not feeling good? Or do you have a headache or do you.

Did you get your feelings hurt or like I’ve seen you do this so many times with the kids in literally you’re educating them on how to respond and you’re helping them with the words to say, by troubleshooting. And then over time, I’ve noticed this with our kids, that they very descriptively know how to tell you what’s wrong with them. But that doesn’t just happen happens because of these conversations.

Yeah, it’s interesting they brought that up. I was going to talk a little bit more about that. And one of our points coming up, and that’s one of the purposes is to teach your kids how to know what’s going on inside their body. That’s an important thing that I think is just not really taught anymore, is to know thyself. Right. And. And to. He to be confident in trusting your own assessment of like, you know what, my gut is really off. What did I eat earlier? Right. Yeah. Versus like, you know, is it an appendix appendicitis attack? You know, jumping to the worst conclusion. But I think that a lot of times if if people are not brought up in a way where they’re validated when they do feel something, they can second guess themselves. Right. And not really know. And then, of course, there’s that very dangerous option that a lot of people are now leaning on, which is self-diagnosis through Google, which can be a scary thing to be doing, too. Now, I’m not saying don’t use them is pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, there you can do research. Yes. Just you have to be careful and be wise. Again, it’s understanding yourself, though, like, am I the type of person that tends to borrow troubles? Do I jump to conclusions? And am I going to scare myself?

Yeah. Going to the worst possible denominator of what’s happened.

Yeah. Yeah. So you just. But you have to take your thoughts. Captive’s point there. So I think that, you know, as we’re digging in and we’re talking about these things, we just were mentioning health versus like natural, you know, having natural remedies or doctors. And really our stance, we try our hardest to have a balanced perspective of. Absolutely. Like you were saying, let’s try all we can to have understanding, do research and and do it naturally. Treat it naturally if we can. Yeah. And, hey, if that doesn’t work, then let’s go to the doctors and see if they can help us.

What’s cool about this? This is really about an aspect of the legacy you’re leaving in continuing to which is helping future generations to have these same kind of I would say it’s part of the culture of the family. When you instill this when you’re good at this and you’re educating your kids, then what’s going to happen when their moms and dads.

Right. That’s really cool. Yeah. And I, I, yeah, I would hope so. I mean, that’s really my dream. I think that when I first became a stay at home mom, I was like, okay, well, this is going to be my job. And I took it on seriously. Like, this is a vocation and I actually don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to cook. I don’t know how to clean. And, you know, anybody can pick up a sponge in it and a Windex. Right. Or whatever you grew up using.

But not knowing what I was doing, I had a very humble heart attitude of like, I have to learn. And so I was constantly asking people what they were doing. If I noticed that somebody was making their own cleaner, I was like, what? Wait, what is that? That’s an email made bottle. What’s in it? Does it work? Can I try it? And like, you know, asking a lot of questions and having a teachable heart is I really believe that’s part of why I’m where I am now, 20 years later. And I’m still learning. I still love learning.

You know, what? Do you give us an example? Everybody’s like, well, what what are the things when you just run down a list for us of the things that we’ve done that you’ve done? And I’d say it’s more you.

It’s true. We have our strengths and weaknesses. We’re a good team.

I embrace my strengths. And I don’t try to my weakness. That’s what you’re there for.

You really appreciate me. And I love these things, you guys. So I’m realizing that being a stay at home mom was a vocation. I decided, like, I’m going to learn. So I homeschooled myself and all these things. Right. And I. I got books kind of like how great grandma had her book. Right. And I started learning how to cook. And I started new recipes. And then I started learning about the gut.

And I started learning about healthy, eating healthy and trying to have the balanced diet. Trying not to have my kids eat too much sugar, things like that. We’re not going to dive too much into eating stuff today. We’ll do that in another podcast. But those were definitely part of the list. Yeah. Exercise was a huge part. When I met you, I was lifeguarding and teaching aqua aerobics as well. And so I continued doing that in the first like five, six years of being mom was teaching Aquarobics a few days a week, and I.

You’re a go getter. I went before school started. Didn’t you go do lifeguard training and stuff?

Yeah. Well, and I was on the swim team from like 6th grade through high school and I swam. Like 5:00 in the morning to seven, 15 in the morning before school and then after school, 3:15 – 5:15.

That really is what I remember when I was in school, I was like. Trying to wake up as late as possible. I just remember being so tired as a teenager. I can’t believe you got up at five in the morning.

Yeah. And then I had to work after after swim team. But, you know, it was. Yeah. It was fun, though. I really loved swimming and I loved exercising and it felt good. But I can’t take all the credit. You know, it’s definitely a dedication of my parents to drive me. Yeah. Because they drove me a long ways. That’s pretty. Every. Yeah. A lot of things. So eating healthy exercise, vitamins and supplements. That’s a whole nother thing. Herbal tinctures, homoeopathy, essential oils, natural cleaners. Because we are. Now I can honestly say we’re we’re probably like 80 to 85 percent toxin free home.

We got to get into a little bit.

I know you have a few more on your list, but I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already. Is the date night one sheet. It is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date night. Just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family, no matter what time of year. It’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to CourageousParenting.com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything at CourageousParenting.com. And also, just want to share real quick about the Parenting Mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self-paced program with live engagement from us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it. You can find out more CourageousParenting.com.

Steve and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children. What Angie and Isaac have done in creating this is literally phenomenal.

This program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world.

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We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children who have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is.

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I remember believing that nothing can clean as good as Windex, for example.

Well, yeah. I mean, the first five years of our marriage, we were using really harsh chemicals.

Yeah, I used to believe that if you don’t have the really good chemical, you’re not going to be clean. So we’ll get to that. But yeah. And also we’ll have to dive into being a Christian and homopathy and things like that.

So, you know, gardening and so getting over myself in the control like I am a first born tend to have more of a type A personality. And I used to be when I was younger, mom, But being organized was a really big deal to me. Like if you guys saw the room that we’re sitting in right now, it looks all nice and pretty right here. But I have literally stacks of home school books and curriculums for this next year that I’m trying to go through. And it it like years ago that would’ve driven me crazy, would no way be able to be sitting here doing a podcast, having chaos of any sort in the room. Right. And so I used to be a lot more OCD about those things. And I laugh about it because I, I really, truly believe that having a lot of kids has been my boot camp. Okay. Yes, but I would say though that I didn’t know anything about gardening and dirt, but I used to be controlling about the dirt. Right. Like sanitising the kids, wiping them down all the time and not now. I realized like my grandma at different grandma actually visited us and was like, no playing in the dirt is the best thing for them.

And even your mom used to say that, right? And I was like, OK, yeah. I don’t know about this you’re a super clean.

I was really clean, though. We moved to the farm and we got chickens and we had and Kelsey is putting mud on her cheeks like she’s a warrior. She would literally sit in the creek and cover her body and mud. And then she’d like make war paint.

It was so funny, those kids. But, you know, realizing those were like the healthiest years we had six years straight where the kids never got sick. And we had six kids, 10 and under.

You’re saying dirt is good medicine.

I am I think that there’s good bacteria. There’s immunities having them around that kind of stuff. Obviously, though, they took they took baths, too. So we were clean for sure. Gardening, getting your hands in the dirt and gardening and picking your own food. Fruit and vegetables that doesn’t have chemicals on it. Right. And I remember we planted a garden to get Kelsey to eat carrots. Do you remember this? She grew her own carrots. I have a picture of her is and four and a half. Well, but the first year we did it. I did know what I was doing.

So the carrots were like an inch and a half and they would be like two growing off one and she’d pull them out.

She just she ate them she loved them with the dirt on them with the dirt. Yeah. Which is so funny because she was little miss clean, you know, when she was little and but that started the love for gardening is doing that with her. And then it just became that thing that we did with our kids for a decade. We don’t do it now that we’re in central organ. It’s hard to grow things here, although we do have herbs and we have some strawberries.

So what you’re saying is like, let’s not. Let’s be okay with them jumping in a mud puddle once in a while. Yeah, I’m okay with them playing. And let’s not be so concerned about constantly cleaning dirt off there. Right. We do want to clean their hands. Yes.

You want to wash your hands before you eat. You want to wash. You know, you want to wash your hands. Your building up your immunities your building up your immune system from a young age.

Yeah. And I think that the reason why this is a good conversation is because of everything that’s been going on with Covid and sanitize everything and use these chemicals in this. Can’t you know all the stuff? I think that there can be a lot of fear that’s instilled. And if we are being preventative and proactive in our homes and having healthy homes where we’re cleaning, we are cleaning. Yeah. And but we’re also like taking care of our kids and realizing that part of taking care of them is letting them garden, for example, and be kids and be in the dirt. And that’s a good thing. Other things we’ve done is being frugal and choosing glass over plastic. That’s a whole nother story. I’ll get into that in the next part of their next podcast. I’m learning about alkalinity and acidity in your body and how that affects different things as well. Minerals learning about minerals, which is different than like home apathy and different things.

Like I might be exhausting some people. That’s a big list.

It is. We’re not going to talk about all of them today. But the exciting thing is that you can pick like one thing and learn about it. And that’s that’s what I did. I picked one thing at a time and then something, you know, honestly, we would have I would have a health issue or something would come up. I go to naturopathy, doctor. They’d start teaching me. I’d start getting books and learning and practicing and doing these things. And it I there’s something very satisfying about nurturing your family in that way. And so anyway, I would just encourage you guys to adopt it for your own self in a way and embrace it.

And your attitude becomes positive about it because you’re problem solved. Totally. Everything’s out versus it being a burden and having anxiety about it.

Well, and I think a lot of the reasons why moms like if they struggle with anxiety when their kids get sick is because they actually don’t know how to treat it. And so they are co-dependent on the doctors or dependent on the doctors. They don’t actually know what they’re doing. And they they you know, some of them, I would say, really need encouragement. They need to be encouraged that they can actually take back the health of their home, which. But by the way, I just that reminds me, we actually did a free, healthy home mom Hack’s workshop.

Oh, people are raving about it. Yeah. Herbs, oils, supplements and clean homes. Yeah. Is what it’s about. And hundreds. I mean maybe maybe about a thousand now. People really. That many. Yeah, totally. And we just launched it. Absolutely. Raving about. It’s completely free. You know what’s cool is it will have some of the things you’re talking about in here in the next episode. But it’ll have even more. And we have. And what’s cool about it is you get this twenty five page free workbook download that has it all written. Oh that’s right. It’s a PDF download. So anyway, that’ll be in the show notes a CourageousParenting.com. Yeah. You can click that, share that and enjoy it.

Yeah. That’s right. And so we’re. Yeah. I’m actually not going to dive into herbs as much in the same sense that I do in the Healthy Mom Home Hack’s workshop. We are going to talk about a different aspect of herbs that I don’t talk about in that workshop today. So the first thing that I think if we can dive in, I think that one of the things that was really motivating for me that might be inspiring for people is to realize that there’s really two main jurisdictions slash like missions or visions that we as parents, whether you’re the dad, maybe the dads, the one that’s super interested in medicine. who knows? Right. Oh, I would say that we should have these motivations to nurture our kids and teach our kids, you know, that those are like the two. If I was to say the two most important missions. Yes. To nurture our kids and teach them so that they can take care of themselves and take care of their kids.

That reminds me of the the hierarchy of nurture. What do we call it in the parenting mentor program?

Well, again. So you guys, I’m sure you’ve heard of like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. That’s defintily. It’s like a very classic model of needs. But in our courageous parenting mentor program, we created it, created our own and we can’t remember exactly what really different.

But it’s about how to nurture that. its about the nurture stages that they need. And you can have this one until this one is done. And yeah, it’s it was really powerful. And I believe this spirit of God helped us figure that out as we were building that program. But there’s a lot of good stuff in the parent. You referred him, too.

Yeah. And so I think that a lot of parents kind of this isn’t something that’s really taught on very often this concept of like you are the main nurturer. Yeah. What does that actually mean? So I think that the list that I went through that you asked me about. Yeah. You don’t have to have all those things to be nurturing. Can I just say that? Yeah.

But to nurture means there are going to be some aspects that you feel the prompting to really embrace. Like you. I love that word. Embrace some promptings of the Holy Spirit is going to say, hey, to nurture your kids, you need to make sure that they’re getting enough sleep. You know. Right. That you’re going to be consistent with their nap times or whatever it is. Right. Or maybe you have a kid that has low blood sugar issues. So to nurture them means to make sure that they have food in them so that they don’t struggle with a lack of emotional self-control and having meltdowns. Right. Yeah.

Like, it’s really but you can’t nurture your kids unless you know your kids. And so that’s the first point, is that in order to nurture and teach, you actually have to know them. So you need to study them. You need to recognize that God made them different than probably your other children then. Different than you. Different than your husband.

They may have different health problems. Things may be more painful than they are for you.

Right. Cause you may have a different pain tolerance. Yeah. Right. And also on that topic of pain tolerance. But it’s definitely important that we as parents recognize this is really important now. Stick with me here. It’s important that we recognize that we have had different experiences than our kids have had. And pain is actually one of those things that we grow in our capacity to handle different kinds of pain based upon the experiences that we’ve had, because perspective changes our experience changes our perspective on pain. And this is what I mean if you have gone through childbirth, for example.

Right. And let’s say you experienced a traumatic experience or maybe it was just painful childbirth. Right. Because there is pain in childbirth. Right. But then later, you let’s say you you cut your hand with a knife. But it’s not like you’re chopping carrots and you accidentally nick the tip of your finger. It’s super, super painful. But your reaction to that can be way different than the six year old that hasn’t experienced any kind of physical pain before. Yeah. Right. Why is that? It’s because you’ve actually experienced life you’ve experienced pain. So your perspective is different. You’re not going to cry over spilled milk in innocence.

Right. And so I think that it’s important that we as parents remember this. This is really important because if we don’t remember that, if we don’t remind ourselves, we can potentially fall into a trap of being unsympathetic for our kids because we can just we can be like, oh, come on, toughen up. I mean, we’ve seen that with parents where they don’t really have any compassion or sympathy.

Now, I’m not talking about being a helicopter mom and babying your kids.

Oh, can you let me kiss your boo boo. Definitely. I would say brush it off.

Right. Exactly. That’s not what I’m saying. But if you’ve taken it too far to where you are lacking compassion, you’re lacking sympathy, you’re really lacking grace with your kids and a lack of understanding that they have not lived the life that you’ve lived.

And they may not be you can be a little erosion of winning the heart when you do. Right over and over. Yep.

Yep. In fact, I actually have a blog posts on this about being an unsympathetic and uncompassionate mom.

So teach us about the scale of one to 10. Something just happened to you. With our little guy.

Yes. So. Well, you know how well, if you’ve ever been in the hospital yourself, you know that they use like a smiley face scale or the scale of one to 10. And I and I’ve always kind of had that in the back of my head because I’ve been in the hospital enough times to see that and been asked that. You’ll want to 10. How’s the Pain feel in your back? Or, you know, the other day. Soloman was doing Nerf war with his big brothers and he wasn’t wearing his goggles and they were outside and a bullet hit his eye and He fell on the ground and was having this big like it was a real. He was definitely in pain for sure, but I needed to find out how serious it was. And so, as you know, like if a four year old is having a meltdown or they’re in a lot of pain, they can be irrational. Yeah. And they’re not really exercising any emotional self-control, if you know what I mean. And so trying to have that conversation with a kid of like, let me look at it. Let me see. Are you hurting? That can be really frustrating. It can be hard to get answers and to be able to evaluate. So I just in that moment said, hey, Solman, let’s let me talk to you. I have some questions for you. And I just started asking him about scale one to ten and what his pain was essentially. I mean, I definitely like kind of talk to him through that. So if you are a one, it would be like, oh, nope, I don’t hurt. And you jump up and start jump and trampling. Do you feel like doing that?

No. I mean. OK, well, a 10 is gonna be like, oh, mom, my eyes broken. I need to go the hospital, have surgery. They need to take it out. Do you feel that way? No, I don’t want them to dig, you know.

No, I’m not in that much pain. OK. So if you’re. Is it one or is it two or three or four. And I got kind of more intense with each of the letters. And he was like, I’m I’m a four or five. And it kind of started calm down. I said, all right. And it was just it was it was a good understanding, communication that I was able to have with him.

And then, you know, like you said something like, was that an appropriate response for it.

And so and then he kind of went in kind of calm down.

You know. And so but that’s the point. I think we need to remember, especially with our youngest kids, that they don’t know how to react to pain. They haven’t been taught they’ve been taught emotional self-control. Like, we’re not just born with this ability to have that. We actually have to be taught. And so having Grace as a parent is having patients with them and actually teaching them and teaching them is so different than correcting. Right. Yeah.

So how do you teach them how to know their own bodies better?

So I think that part of it is having those conversations that, like you were mentioning before, having the conversations where you’re saying does how’s your tummy feel right now? Do you think that the tummy ache is because you did you get it right after you eight or did you wake up with the tummy ache or, you know, and just doing certain questions like that to help them evaluate, oh, you got it right after you eat eight. Well, what did you eat? So you’re teaching them how to ask questions to investigate themselves, which is really what we all should be doing to ourselves. But we need to teach that to our kids so that they can also ask themselves the same question. Right. And then the next thing that you do is you teach them what to do when they figured out. Right. So that was a tummy ache. I would probably first offer essential oil like tummyjize to be topically applied on on the little guy. And our kids even know that now. So they’re going to go in there, grab the tummyjize Young living oil and it has little roller bottle on it and they know how to put it just a little bit on in and I’ll massage it for them or they will.

And so there, there are basic things that you can teach your kids. But when it comes to emotional self-control, it’s an important thing that parents recognize that this is part of what they’re called to nurture in their child is emotional health as well. And that’s a whole nother aspect that we could get into in this topic, in this podcast as well. But I think that it’s important that we teach them to recognize that, you know, they need they they have skin, right. So they might get a cut on their on their skin or bruise that they see. Right. So there’s skin health. There’s gut health, there’s head health, there’s heart health. And then there’s spirit and soul health. And I those are just the ways, the biblical ways or the conversations that I’ve had with our little littles for them to know all your tummy, your heart, your head, your skin.

Right. So that they see or their muscle or your bone. Right. Do you have aches in your bones? And for them to know that there’s a physical side of their body, but then there’s also their thoughts and their memories and their feelings which are in their head and in their heart.

And then there’s their soul. Right.

And as parents, we need to be nurturing all of those things and teaching our kids along the way. And this is really a beautiful thing because we were created by an intelligent. Designer. Yes. God was intelligent and I’m gonna to some of the nerdy homeschool mom’s gonna come out on me. Here are just a second. But when it comes to teaching your kids, like when you’re studying biology and you’re talking about the epidermis and you’re teaching your kids about their skin. Right. You can teach them really cool things like your skin is your largest organ in your body. Right. It’s 16 percent of your overall body mass. 16 percent of your overall body mass. And it absorbs things. Right. A lot of people don’t realize this, but your skin has four main functions. It’s to protect your body and your organs from germs, pollution, radiation, the sun, heat, things like that. The second main function is that it regulates your body temperature.

Ok. That’s the third thing, is that it receives sensory information. So we have this sense of touch, sense of smell. We have all these senses. Right. And so it receives sensory information that then is communicated through your body. Right. Yeah. And then the fourth thing would be to store water, to store fat and to store vitamin D. That’s why they say like going outside and getting sun for vitamin D is really good for you because it’s absorbed into your skin and your skin stores. Vitamin D. Right. And so it is there’s the body is just so incredible.

So sometimes kids are acting out in certain ways. And we sometimes it’s disobedience, but sometimes it’s diet. Sometimes it’s they needed more sleep than we realize. Sometimes it’s maybe they haven’t been outside. Sometimes they haven’t been allowed to have the activity.

Right. So I you know, we’ve talked about this in some previous podcasts. I feel like. But it’s important that we, when we’re nurturing, were aware of this fact that Isaac’s mentioning right now, which is that our kids are different than us. And all of these aspects like feeding them while helping them to have good sleep, having emotional self-control, that they’re they’re healthy. Right. That their immune system is strong. That they’re not fighting a cold. And then having patience and grace and caring for nurturing. These are all under the nurturing category for all of those elements of our kids. That’s actually one of our responsibilities as parents, is to be nurturing those aspects. And having that understanding, living with our kids and understanding when they are going through something like this. So, for example, teenagers, just bring teenagers into this, their hormones are growing, changing, moving like there’s just so much going on during the teenage years. Right. So parents could easily be like, why are you having that emotional breakdown?

What why are you doing this? But if you understand that those teenagers, they’re OK.

They’re growing six inches in a matter of six months. Right. Maybe for the 13 year old boy. We have that going on with one of our kids right now.

So he has leg cramps. Right. And he’s more tired and he needs to nap more. Any needs eat more. Like not going. No. You already eat. You don’t need to eat. Well, why would you say that to a growing teenage boy?

That is just growing, say, or if he’s tired, like. Let him take a nap. Teenagers actually need much more sleep. They need almost as much sleep as as babies do, which is crazy.

So they’re not always being lazy?

Actually, no, they’re not. I need to sleep. Yeah. And so there’s it’s it takes understanding is my point.

And if you just research your kids, if you study them and you go, hmm, I wonder why. And then you research it, oftentimes there’s a really beautiful design answer.

Right. And so the cool thing is, is that what we we want to we want to teach our kids that God made them the way they are. And it’s a good thing. Mm hmm. Right. Which reminds me of Genesis one. And in Genesis one twelve. It says right here. Oh, actually, can we go to a different passage here? One thirty one. It says, then God saw everything that he had made. And indeed, it was very good. Very good. It was very good. And this was he made Adam and Eve. And it was very good. Mm hmm. Right. And so to remind our kids, like they need to have that kind of confidence that God didn’t make a mistake when he made them, even if they’re intolerant to dairy. Yeah. Like that. We live in a world where. Yeah. We’re in the fallen world and and things are not perfect. And there is sickness and there’s disease and there’s there are intolerances and there are allergies. And guess what? Our food is also deficient of some of the things that it needs. It’s not perfect. Yeah, right. You’re always asking for kelsey to come up with a way to make God’s bread. Yeah, right. But the reality is that we need to teach our kids this, but to do their best, just to do their best in stewarding their bodies, stewarding their homes, stewarding the nurturing of their children one day.

And that we’re there’s these biblical principles that we’re teaching our kids. Right. Stewardship. It’s a biblical principle. And we want to teach them that the body is the holy temple. And to steward that, well, I’m part of that is understanding that God. God made our bodies and we can take care of these things. We need to communicate about how we’re feeling. When you communicate about, you know, oh, I got a sunburn, what can I do to take care of that? So that heals and doesn’t get a burn on top of it. And then mom gets the Alevera and maybe that after sun spray that has some oils that are soothing and she sprays it on there and it helps heal it. Right. Somebody make right. Oh yeah. This is that’s just something that I make and I teach that my courageous mom, Central’s team, those DIY hacks and stuff like that. But learning how to do those things. And then your kids are like, hey, mom, where’s that spray?

It feels good. I’m gonna say it does as a mom to know your kids are like, Hey, Mom, Where’s the arnica? Hey, Mom where the vitamins. Where’s the oregano oil? Where’s that?

Because they actually experience it, helping them.

That’s right. And so for them, if they’re going to actually use natural remedies, they have to have experienced it and gotten a conviction that these things actually work. Right. And so you’re not just doing to your kids. We have to actually. Oh, we’re going to use this on you right now. And this is how we’re going to do it. Do you want to try it? And won’t you rub these oils and you feel like hydrotherapy? Ah, kids love hydrotherapy. We do it on our feet. If somebody has a fever or they’re struggling with a respiratory cold where you put your feet in a bowl of hot water. Right. And while they’re in the Epsom salt hot water and sometimes I’ll put feeds in it or eucalyptus, lavender, lemon, things that are going to be helping. And they’ll be absorbing into their feet because your pores open in your skin. Right. And these things absorb into your skin, which is important to understand. And while you’re doing that, you have a cold, ice cold bottle of water and you have some socks in there. And then they get their feet up, dry em off, and you rub in some other essential oils and then you put the cold socks on and it shocks their body. It’s hydrotherapy and they put wool socks on top, stickum in bed, put the covers a room. And it it’s it works so well. This is something that I learned from our natural pathic doctor, but my grandma used to grow up doing this on farm.

And so there are so many little tricks of the trade that you can learn to help your kids so that they don’t have to take all the Tylenol. Now, sometimes tylenol is necessary, but it’s not always necessary. Right. And sometimes I think that parents just go to that drug because they grew up. Doing it and they just don’t know the other things. And so I really do think that there’s a need for people who do have the sorts to start sharing more of what they’re doing in their homes, because that’s how I learned.

And, you know, that’s part of why we did the Healthy Home Mom Hack’s workshop. But as far as the skin goes in the limbic system and essential oils, I just have to share this other cool, really intelligent design thing.

God actually made our our senses connected to our brain.

And we know this. Right. So the limbic system is in the middle of your brain. It’s part of the nervous system and the old factory bulb recognizes smells.

And so parts of your brain that deal with memory and emotions and feelings. Those are all in the olfactory bulb in the limbic system. OK. And so when you smell something so let’s say you go to the ocean and you have that like you smell the sea salt in the air. It has its own unique smell, doesn’t it? Yeah. Every each. And you breathe in deep. It’s refreshing. People crave to go to the beach.

I want to go to the beach. I know. Or hiking. And you’re surrounded by pine trees or. Or juniper trees. Hopefully you’re not allergic to those. And, you know, your your hiking, your breathing and deep. And you just calm. You just relaxed. Right. Why is that?

It’s because there’s actually oils in the trees that you’re smelling in and they’re they’re getting into your limbic system because it’s connected to your sense of smell. And it’s triggering certain memories. It’s impacting emotions and feelings because those are in the limbic system.

So instead of scrolling through Instagram or throwing TV show or something like that, instead of escapism, go for a hike in the woods. We could actually go for a hike or you could diffuse oils, piles or ignore lights, black spruce. Grab your state to change your environment. Yes. Get more productive. Thinking better.

Yes. Yes. And so that actually brings me to the second point that we are going to talk about in this podcast. And the last point we were talked about, which has to do with the limbic system because God designed our body so you can teach your kids this really cool information. Right. That when you are smelling things, it goes into your limbic system, its smell. You remember things. That’s why, like real estate agents will oftentimes have cookies baking in the oven, because that sense of smell actually triggers memories, good memories of kids’ childhood. Is that interesting? And so there they may not. Most real estate agents don’t realize that. That’s actually why they. But they if they are cooking cookies, they recognize that people who come in are much happier. Why is that? Right. everybody likes chocolate. The sense of taste. Right.

So, God, God made us incredible beings that have these amazing senses that are all triggered and they connect to our different portions of our brain.

And it’s just the coolest thing ever to study with your kids. He made all these different plants that are good for us. Right. In different ways. Right.

So in Genesis nine three, it says every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. I have given you all the things even as the green as the green herbs. I’ve given you all things even as the green herbs. And then it goes on.

And then if you read in Genesis one twelve, it also says and the earth brought forth grass and the herb that yields seed according to its kind. And the tree that yields fruit. And whose seed is in itself according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And so the evening. And the morning. And that was the third day. And God gave us these things right to be used wisely. Were to steward the land. And what’s interesting about herbs like this is the other cool thing. And I didn’t teach this in the healthy mom home hack’s, but I just dropped off all of our herbs at a friend’s house before we go on this RV trip. And I’m paying their daughter fifty cents a day to water my my peas and my Erb’s at my house plants because I don’t want them to die.

And she’s so excited. Of we make fifteen dollars. I promise, Miss Angie, I’m going to do it every day. It is the sweetest thing ever.

But I was teaching her now saying, hey, hey, Olive, I’m going to need you to pinch off the herbs. And you guys, you’re gonna get to cook these and you can give them to people, too, that you want if you want to. Because if you pinch them off, then they won’t go to seed and they’ll keep producing more. Mm hmm. And so, like with dill and cilantro and peppermint, you don’t want them to go to seed because it actually changes the taste of the herb and the chemicals in the herb. So what you want to do is use them. So God created these herbs for us to use so that they’re useful, so that they don’t go bad. So they don’t. And I’m going to say it isn’t bad. It’s just you don’t want him to go to seed right away. Let him go to seed at the end of the season, harvest the seeds and plant more herbs.

So I know herbs like you can use it for cooking and things like that. Yeah. Which we do there. There’s the oil version of herbs which have kind of been alluding to in some things during this episode. Right. Which is so there’s the actual plant. And there’s the distilled oil from the plants.

Right. Which are all part of the plant. Right. I mean, we take aloe vera plants and we use the aloe vera lotion to cool burns. Right. It’s the exact same kind of concept. Actually, it’s just not distilled. You can literally cut the aloe plant and just put it on, which we do. And I think that this is the coolest part. This is what’s so neat to teach your kids. You guys. Is that. Yes. Herbs we cook with them. Right. And so I teach in the healthy mom home hack’s how we do some different things about making teas and and and using herbal textures and things like that, which can be really good for your kids to know about. And I mean, teas especially are so good for your gut and for your respiratory system anyways. But using the oils in conjunction with what we’re talking about with the skin and the purposes of the skin. Right. This is a cool, little interesting fact that topically applied in essential oil will. It only takes two to three minutes to get into your bloodstream, two to three minutes.

That’s how fast it absorbs into your skin. And then into your bloodstream. And then 20 minutes later, it can be found to affect every cell in your body. Wow. In just 20 minutes. But it metabolizes in two and a half hours.

Ok.

And so if that’s what an essential oil can do, think about like harsh chemicals that you’re potentially exposed to and those are also absorbing into your skin. Or, you know, it’s interesting, I was doing research just to share about this. And there’s a whole there’s a whole lot of Web sites out there for like companies that have gases in the air. And there are workers like those gases actually can absorb into their skin. And they never even see them like they isn’t a liquid that touches their skin, but it can absorb into their skin.

It’s the same thing with harsh chemicals that you would spray to clean your home. There are always synthetic residues that’s leftover. In fact, it can take two weeks to get rid of that in your home if you’re not continuing to use it in your area, in your home now and you’re trying to, like, go toxin free.

That’s right. True for shampoos and certain soaps. So.

Oh, yeah. No, I’m glad that you brought that up, because as far as, like, nurturing your your family goes like just learning about the toothpaste, the deodorant, the makeup, the shampoo, laundry soap. There’s literally every kind of thing that you would use to clean or just on your body lotion, sunscreen, insect repellent. I mean, we all know that DEET is not good for you. Right.

So, you know, being a believer, Christians, they’re listening sometimes. Some people have had a weird sense about oils or. Oh, yeah. Happy or a place of their own. But you know what? How do you address that? Like, why why are you so confident in using wills when some people feel a little strange about it?

Well, it’s interesting. When I first started using them, it was over a decade ago now and not for me. People I knew were using either of those things, actually, or herbal tinctures even. And they were kind of hard to find, to be honest. But doing research and realizing like these are the plants that God gave us, why aren’t we using them properly? But instead, what are we doing? Instead, we’re going and getting chemicals that are being concocted in a lab by humans that aren’t even for their chemicals. And we’re putting chemicals like antibiotics in our body. And so it just didn’t make sense to me. Like logically, I went. OK. So if that is supposed to kill it, but it’s not 100 percent sure that it’s going to kill it. And this could potentially help it. Why wouldn’t I tried this natural thing first and then if that doesn’t work, then go over there. Right. And so that was kind of our approach once we started having a lot of different issues with the kids, with health and with me and different things. But you guys, it was a journey and everybody’s on their own journey, and that’s totally cool. But I think that being proactive and learning about it is a huge process. I think that, you know, as far as you ask me the biblical perspective on this, and the first thing I have to say is that all of these things are amoral. They are not good or bad. They’re amoral and they can be used for good or bad. And it’s our responsibility to use them the way God intended. Right.

Not an abusive kind of manner. And it’s the same thing with social media or technology. It’s an amoral thing that can be used for good or used for bad. It’s our responsibility to use it for God’s glory. And the same thing, we can use these tools. That’s all they are, is just tools for stewardship and for helping our families. Right. And so and it’s so for me, like essential oils or something that we use every day, just like how I have houseplants in my house everyday. They’re not any more important. Like just on a side note, plants alone, like if you guys don’t have house plants, you’re missing out. Like, I just would encourage you to go get some. Yeah. I mean. Well, actually some. Yes, they do. Certain plants especially purify the air more than others. In fact, two of the best house plants to get that do purify the air better than others are called snake plants and spider plants.

And the cool thing about spider plants is that they actually like send off shoots with other babies and then you can cut those off and plant those in another pot and have another spider plant. And you can even gift them to people. They’re one of my favorite plants. But there are here I can give you like five plants since I got down this.

The best plants for producing oxygen because most plants will absorb toxins and pollutants in the air into their leaf. Actually, they absorb the particles in their leaf. Right. And then and this this is a proven study that NASA did. It was called the Clean Air Study. OK. Is the removal of organic chemicals. The plants absorb the particles at the same time as taking in carbon dioxide, which is then processed into oxygen. So this is the process of photosynthesis. You guys like this is just awesome biology, right? So absorbing gases through the pores in their leaves. This is how they purify the air. And then they put off oxygen, which is what we breathe. Right. So having a lot of plants in your home can be really helpful. There have been other studies as well. I talk about this on my courageous Mom essentials Instagram page. I have like a post on the benefits of House. You can go look that up. But there have been some studies and I’m not exactly sure what the percentages or statistics are now. So, such a while ago that I made this post.

But it is proven that kids taking a test and having at least three plants in the room will score better on their tests. Whoa. Which is kind of cool. And so they’re like breathing and better oxygen. But there’s also that element of, like, the senses. That’s right. And so that’s another like.

This is another thing to be aware of this in addition to like maybe having some oils that are going to be helping to stimulate alertness when kids are studying or focus. Right. Because we’re talking about have a limbic system, how God created our limbic system to be able to do that.

So you see how it’s like some people get wary of oils specifically or Homeopathy becausHomeopathye they’re like, oh, they’re making an idol out of that thing. Right. And yes, some people do take it too far. But it’s our responsibility to keep it in its rightful place, which is it is a tool.

Right. That can be used and in conjunction with understanding how God the Almighty created these tools. Thank you, Lord. And he created our bodies to work with them. That is awesome.

So go to CourageousParenting.com if you want the free workshop and any other resources we mentioned on any of the episodes. But maybe to wrap up, you can talk about what’s coming in the next episode.

So on next episode, we’re going to talk a little bit about we’re going to talk about clean homes. We’ll talk about healthy diets and some other things you can do to have healthy lifestyle.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes. Most Christians are making more than that. It’s an incredible community. You’ll have access to a private online group live webcast and the courageous parents who text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragements straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentorship program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com.

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting podcast, the weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom. And I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married 20 years and have seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically based on the raw truth found in the Bible. We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Hey, everyone, welcome to the podcast. A little different today. So buckle your seat belts.

Hey, guys.

Today, we are talking about a really awesome topic. God has a unique plan for your family.

So we’re going to share some aspects of our path.

Not so that you replicate our path. Not at all. But so it’s encouraging. Maybe an inspiration and maybe some natural assumptions that you might think about us. You’ll find out something different, actually, because the natural assumptions usually aren’t true about us actually.

So we’re going to share with you guys how God designed our family, which has been a journey over the last almost 21 years. We are going to celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary in just a few months.

It’s been an amazing journey. I know. We’re just getting going.

That’s right.

And we’re also going to give you guys three steps or key essential elements to allowing God to lead you in the design of your unique journey.

This is such an important and powerful topic because oftentimes we can start to play the comparison game. I know you taught a lot about that in the course, actually. Oh, yes. The comparison trap.

Yes. The biblical friendship course is called the Christian Woman’s Guide to Biblical Friendships. Yeah.

And you can find out about that at CourageousParenting.com and the podcast show notes, which we have every week. But yeah, there’s a couple chapters.

But so what? What that is, is you get caught up in this comparison game and we start was striving to be like others, or we get extra Judgy about ways we don’t want to be, that other people are going down, even if you’re good biblical things.

And we talked a little bit briefly about this in the last podcast when we were talking about, you know, taking few opinions, but make sure you take the right few. Was the title, your last podcast. And it was actually the last two podcasts. And we talk about the danger that people often make, the mistake of stereotyping people. And then when they stereotype people, it justifies their reasoning behind not wanting to listen to their advice or listen to anything they put out there. And so I’m just speaking from personal experience. You guys is just raw and real, right? Like, I have struggled with that myself in the past year, for example, when I was not wanting to homeschool. So the first five years of parenting, I did not want to homeschool at all. And I’ve shared I share more about that in homeschool blueprint. So, yeah.

But I didn’t really I didn’t really want to be friends with other people that homeschooled and I didn’t really want to take their advice on parenting because I didn’t want to do that actually. And so.

Or you can get all along and be my kids or give me the salt of the earth, run other kids and socialize.

I mean, everybody has their thing, right? And then they just start to justify their opinion. So we shouldn’t human nature, we shouldn’t do that to each other. And yeah, we shouldn’t do that to each other. And we also shouldn’t stereotype one another because we can actually. What what all this does is it creates division among the body of Christ which is what the enemy wants. . It’s exactly what the enemy wants. And it grieves the father’s heart. It grieves God’s heart. And we we don’t want that. We don’t want to be a part of that. We don’t want that to allow the enemy to use us in his schemes, because there’s nothing in the Bible that says you have to homeschool.

There’s nothing in the Bible that says you need to put him in public school. So let’s not get extra biblical about things. Let’s read the Bible and let’s love each other and let’s care about the things that really do matter. Yeah. In the Bible. Right.

We love Jesus, regardless of your lifestyle choices. We can all be the part of the body of Christ. Right.

Like, so we do homeschool and we have some very strong opinions about why we chose to do this it is super fruitful for us. Yeah. And if you guys are interested in learning more about that, you can go find that podcast. That’s just one of the subjects right here. I’m just using as an example today. But the reality is, is that we have an enemy and he is out roaming, roaming around like.

He’s a roaring lion looking to see who he can devour. And one of the ways he likes to devour women especially I mean, I don’t know. Guys, probably struggle with this, too, is the comparison trap. Yeah. He wants to ensnare us in the bondage of the comparison trap. And he does it in so many subtle and not so subtle ways. Yeah. And so we have to be on alert. You know where for that we have to be honest about our heart issues. Right. We struggle with jealousy or maybe judging or stereotyping, and we literally need to take those thoughts captive under the obedience of Christ and toss them out. And so we thought it would be interesting and fun because we have experienced a lot of it.

I mean, honestly, you guys, we have eight kids. There’s 10 of us in our family. And even when we had six, we were kind of labeled a big family. There were eight of us.

Well, Angie, everybody thinks that’s a big thing.

Yeah, I know.

So, anyway, I the reality is, is we have experienced people stereotyping us for different things, even when you’re an entrepreneur. Yeah. Right. Like trying to get along with guys who were not entrepreneurs. Sure. Could have been stereotypes going both ways. Right. Right. In our immaturity. I was able to then. Yeah. And so this is the thing. We’re just being honest about the things that we struggle with.

That’s why we’re able to label them the way of a label them.

And we wanted to share our real story with you guys, cause some of you may not have heard it.

So here’s. We’ll start with some assumptions and then I’ll go into the truth and start early on in walk to the present day and do it in a quick fashion. We’re going to try to make it quick. So the assumption is perhaps that we came from big families. That’s why we desire big families. And there was a culture already set to do that. And we already saw the way it was done. So it was easier for us.

People assume that and Isaac how many siblings did you have?

I have a brother and sister. I mainly grew up with my sister and not so much my brother, but yeah. And she was gone a lot. So I kind of wait.

But you also have another half brother, Abel. Oh yeah. That’s true. Yeah. Yeah. And he’s the same age as Kelsey. Yes. He definitely didn’t grow up with him because he was born a year after Kelsey.

Yeah. Yeah. So anyways. So yeah. Not a big family. And early on, you know, some periods of time somewhat broken and somewhat complete at different times. So without going into all that. But but yeah, I definitely didn’t have that background and definitely didn’t grow up a Christian, a believer. That’s another assumption. Sometimes people think.

Yeah. Another assumption is that that people think since we teach biblical parenting, that we must have been raised in biblical parenting.

And we knew all this stuff when we first had our first kid.

And we just but I started through I started reading the Bible at age twenty three.

So there we go.

There we go. I was raised in a Christian home. Just to answer that question. If some of you were wondering. I think if you’ve been listening to our podcast for any amount of time, you’ve probably gathered that.

So I grew up in a Christian home and grew up going to church every Sunday. Being very active in the church. My parents led worship. My mom worked for the church. Still does.

You were so spiritual. You were never gonna have a husband.

Oh, my goodness. So he OK, there is a truth. And it’s not about being spiritual. And sure, I know you’re not joking and it’s real, but it wasn’t about being, like, spiritual. Yeah, it was it. Well, okay. So I thought that God was calling me to celibacy and to be a missionary. And it’s honorable, super honorable. And I.

Yeah.

And so then when I met Isaac, I didn’t want anything to do with him, but not in a romantic kind of way. Yeah. She just wanted to witness to me.

True story. Send him to God and leave him alone.

That’s right. And so that’s a whole nother story that we’re dying for. We’re all over the place. It’s kind of fun.

It is kind of fun.

Okay. Now they’re all wondering what our marriage story is. We’ll tell that story as well. That’ll be a marriage podcast. Okay. So what’s another assumption, Isaac?

That we were homeschooled because here we have homeschooled all the way from kindergarten through high school.

And it really had these weird thoughts about the homeschool world. Just everything was weird about it.

I did, too.

But then I was more for it than against it because we tried putting our kid in preschool. And that wasn’t that was great. she did great But I was frustrated.

I was with adamantly opposed to it.

He was he was adamantly opposed to homeschooling. That is true.

I remember walking into her for the first homeschool conference that we went to. And we walk in and Isaac goes, OK, we’re walking back out here. And he’s like, hey, listen, we’re not conformists. We’re not going to conform. I married you the way you look and the way you are. we are not conforming. Being. Changing the way you dress, my appearance and all the things. Right. And so we were young. You guys, and judgy. Judgy. Yeah. And we stared. We were stereotyping other people, which is why we’re talking about this, Right. So it’s important that you guys hear that these are the mistakes that we’ve made. and God had to get a hold of our hearts. We didn’t making decisions without being in alignment. So that’s one of our tips.

Now, you know, as you’re making lifestyle choices and decisions as husband and wife, another assumption people might have is wow you guys are so lucky, you have all this time just to study the Bible and you get paid just to teach the Bible to us, you know? And that’s just not that’s just not the case.

We have spent a lot of time studying the Bible and having virtual mentors.

It’s a very strange time to those. It’s like late at night, early morning, you guys.

It’s always at a sacrifice because we don’t want to sacrifice our family. So what we do is we sacrifice our sleep.

True. True. And we also love. Okay. Something that’s unique about Isaac and Angie is we actually really love on our date nights talking about and dreaming about Visioneering, about ministry and what we’re going to create for you guys in talking about theology. And we love that. Oh, my goodness. We love talking about theology and discussing it and researching and challenging each other. It’s really fun. Yeah. And so that’s just kind of how we’re wired.

I still have so much to learn, by the way, in the Bible.

Oh, same here. OK. We’re going through revelations right now. And I’m so confused.

That’s. I’m teaching you.

You’re doing a great job. I was reading ahead. So anyways.

I just want to encourage you guys, though, because it would be easy for you to potentially stereotypes as the type that like or to maybe look at us. And we are talking about how we love to do this on date nights. You know, like, why don’t I don’t love to do that on date nights. I just want to veg out. And, you know, why can I just say it’s okay. We’re all different. You beat me to the punch line. It’s OK.

God has a unique plan for your marriage and your family and you know it.

We should probably just veg out more often.

We should learn from you.

We joke about how we’re where we need the fun friends.

Remember, we actually had friends who were married and we were like, oh, they’re the fun friends.

No names, no names. We’re not doing that. But you guys. The reality is, is that we’re probably a lot more down to earth than you probably thought we were. But we do. There are some things that we like. They’re a little odd. Like we like Visioneering on our date nights a lot.

I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already. Is the date night one sheet? It is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date nights. Just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family, no matter what time of year. It’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to CourageousParenting.com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything, a CourageousParenting.com. And I also just want to share real quick about the parenting mentor program. So many families are being transformed by going through this. It’s the six week self-paced program with live engagement from us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it. You can find out more Courageous Parenting.com.

Steve and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children.

What Angie and Isaac had done in creating this is literally phenomenal, this program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications. This class has just really rocked my world.

It has given me a vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids biblically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of heart.

We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children who have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is.

Do your legacy a favor and yourself a favor and just do it. One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year. And I could not recommend it more. we are no longer fearing dark days ahead.

But we’re so excited to raise the lights to be leaders for the next generation. Another assumption people might have is that your pregnancy is really easy. I mean, you must just have the best pregnancies having all these kids. You also must have a lot of family close by because, you know, to get help, because I was working 60, 80, sometimes 100 hours a week in the early days and so many it. Yeah. He must have just tons of help.

Yeah. Both of those were false assumptions.

I mean, definitely. So it’s different now. Obviously, we live we don’t live close to family at all right now. There was a time where we lived closer to my parents. And when the older kids were really little, my dad was working a lot. But my mom was around and she had help. But she also worked a full time job who was busy. So she was very busy and was very busy serving in her church as well. And so not quite what you would suspect. Right. And so the reality is, is that I mommed kind of like it.

I mean, it was a boot camp. It was a lot of work. And I was alone as a mom in the sense of Isaac would go to work sometimes at 5:00 in the morning, 6:00 in the morning, the early years, the early first six, seven years. And then, I mean, there were some seasons like postpartum and things like that where you were able to help.

I would say it was front loaded. So I worked way too much in the first year, way too much in the second year. And then it went down a little bit. But it’s still too much. And then and then there was a point where went down more. And we’ll talk about that. Yeah. A lot more. And then, you know, it’s very normalized. I learned a lot of lessons. Right.

And then we building the business. You were back to working crazy hours with the publishing company. Yeah. And so that that was intense because we had six kids at the time. It’s not that long. And yeah, that was five years ago. And you were I mean, you were working like 80 to 100 hours a week again for a few years. And so save the company up. Yeah, there was all there. So it’s been up and down. Our story’s been up and down. As far as like how many and how much you’ve been working again. Also, when the business went under, you were working like crazy to get us out of debt and to provide and from scratch. So we were both working differently because I was also working with you, along with, you know, doing other stuff I was already doing. So we both have worked hard.

So when we first got married we will go down a little timeline ish. When we first got married, I had this silent thought of having two kids eventually. But it wasn’t because I necessarily just loved the idea of having kids. Actually, it was it was like the American dream. You know, you have two kids. So funny. Have you actually had this American dream? Yeah. No, I wrote about I have a journal from when I was a kid. You do what you want to see and it’s like I want to be a business. So this. Yeah. I’m going to be a business owner. I’m going to be married. And I have two kids.

You guys, I haven’t seen this journal. I want to see this journal. That’s really funny.

Yeah. So that was the extent. Okay. You want to know. Okay. I went up to you guys.

Oh, okay. In junior high or maybe even younger. There was this game called MASH. Did you ever play MASH? No, no. That was a girl thing. We did this together. Anyway, if you’re a girl, you know what I’m talking about. Mansion, apartment, shack or house. And then you go around and do this like counting thing and you figure out who you’re going to marry and how many kids you’re going to have and what kind of car.

Anyway.

Anyway, I thought when I was a little girl that I would have a family and have kids. Yeah.

And but then when I got older, I already shared this with you guys I. When I was in high school and early college, I thought I was gonna be a missionary overseas and so I wasn’t. Marriage and family was not on my radar. So when Isaac and I met, we had very differing ideas, obviously.

Well, yeah, exactly. It was going well. And I went through a period of time, frankly, before I met Angie, not even believing in marriage anymore. So I dont even think kids were in my mind either anymore. They were. Yeah, but I kind of lost faith in any concept of marriage.

And it was only the beauty of Angie that made me believe in marriage.

I was a believer actually. Yeah. Which is interesting.

Yeah. You guys. Okay, so I’m gonna share. This is so funny. I always tease him about this. I was actually working with Isaac and I came into turn in orders and I walked in and he was in his office because he was the district manager running his own business.

And I, I walked in we were both college students though I was on summer break running a business.

And I just got back from living in Turkey and doing missions over there and doing missions in Mexico. And I had like six weeks to work. So I had three jobs before I went back to Canada to go to Trinity Western. Right.

And I come in with my orders to turn to my orders. He goes, Oh, hey, Angie, I have a question for you. Comes out and he goes, Do you believe in marriage? And I’m like, yeah, I believe in marriage.

And I turn and he didn’t say a thing for minutes. And then I like turn and I start walking to the order turn in room. And he got. He just kind of whispers under his breath. Good, cause, I mean, marry you someday.

And I’m and I like turnaround really quick. And he’s already didn’t do his office again. He’s gone. And I’m like.

Picked you. And he goes, you heard me right.

Like none other than no. We’re not going to ever be together.

So anyways, but yes, we had a very different idea of what our lives would look like.

And your life probably looks very different than how you thought it would look like at some point.

So then we got married. So fast forward a little bit. We got married and we thought we wait two years to have a kid and then you’re pregnant four months later and pregnancy was very difficult, puking, puking, puking.

It’s a really it’s a way to put it. Yah puking like 14 to 16 times a day going and getting Ivies. Ivy in the hospital.

I’m sitting with the laptop next to you and writing a speech, chemo, antinausea meds, you know, terrible, terrible stuff.

I remember those. But so and then we had this beautiful daughter, Kelsey, and who had health issues, had health issues. And then there was this period of time we thought something was wrong. We’ve caught okay. Not once you have your first kid, you want to have the second one because you want them to grow up together right?

Yeah. Yeah. We were trying to have another baby. No baby, no baby. No, we thought something was wrong with it. Like a van drove with you. Okay.

And then I ended up having an emergency appendectomy. I had a lot of gut issues and I was pregnant during that appendectomy. Didn’t know it. That’s another story. Austin was born, had a hole in his heart.

They told us to we should for sure abort that pregnancy. Yeah. Where there was no way he would survive. Or if he did, he would be totally messed up. I mean, there was all kinds of things. They were like, of course we are having the baby.

God’s powerful.

Well, and we also were like, this is God’s gift to us. This is God’s child. And we’re gonna take it however he comes to us.

Yeah. We’re not us. We don’t get to make those decisions.

This is so he was born, had a hole in his heart and God healed him. And we can we can talk more about those almost three years.

Just between him and Kelsey. Yep, yep, yeah. And we were trying to have kids. Yeah. Yeah. So that was though that was a stressful time.

And there wasn’t you know, things were different back then. There wasn’t really there wasn’t social media. There wasn’t blogs. There wasn’t too much Internet, really. I mean, there was so it went and it would go to camp here, but. But things were different. Cell phones were even different. Right. Like, everything was just different then. And so there wasn’t a lot of support. Now, as I remember being very lonely and it was a hard, hard season for sure. And you were done having kids because we had a girl and a boy.

Yeah. There we go. Done. We hadn’t really talked about it, though.

No. That’s the weird part. Right. And, you know, a lot of people here’s an assumption that people think, yeah, that was a boy. I don’t know. They think they think about themselves, Nicole. I don’t think I could be patient enough to have that many kids and homeschool them.

They must be kid people and really patient, you know, patient. I was I hate that I used to think these things. But I remember trying to go somewhere and I’m like, it takes forever to buckle the kids. But I can’t leave. I can’t believe it did take.

Why do we even try to go anywhere. I remember one time I actually I can’t wait until I don’t have to do this anymore. Yep. We had five kids in car seats at one time and then I would really in diapers and I would do the countdown.

Ok, ok. Austins this old so I’ll be this age when they’re all out of the house.

I used to think I know because we were we used to think more about ourselves and our futures and, you know.

And then we can travel.

And then we can do all these dreams that we have, right?

Yes. Because the reason why we’re thinking that ways, because there was a lot of opportunity to travel internationally with the company that you were working for. So we just did and we did travel and we even took kids with us.

I wasnt in the company. I was running a business.

Right. Yes. Yeah. But we have opportunity to win trips internationally. And we went to many places by Argentina, France, Italy, Spain, I mean, Germany, Czech Republic, every. We were all over the place. Loved it and loved it. Just the Rock of Gibraltar. Anyway, so we’ve been all over the world and we love traveling while having all these kids.

And while you’re sick full time, I would be puking on the planes and pumping on the planes.

And that was back when the pumps were not quiet.

I remember my my my dad who ive never met. Unfortunately, that’s another story. But he actually played he was a starting player for the Titans. The Remember the Titans movie was depicted after he was friends with the captains and so forth. And so we got invited to the premiere of that and sit with all the real players and Pete Jones and the whole crew. And it was it was Fantastic and the cast. The president giving a speech. And then we were at the ESPN Zone afterwards.

And we were we were that was in the early days and you. Kelsey was six weeks old and you had mastitis. I got mastitis wells at this event. This is a red carpet event. So Isaacs in a tux and I remember that. I think that. I mean, I knew you were going down this road. I was in this gown. And you guys, the lines in the women’s bathroom of the ESPN Zone were crazy. There’s only two stalls. And I took one up for like 40 minutes trying to pump and it was her.

Here she is meeting the real Wonder Woman.

so embarrassing.

No, it was just not. I had a fever of, like, 104 most awful case of mastitis I’ve ever had.

So we’ve we’ve tried to continue doing well in receiving God’s blessings, even though it’s difficult.

Yes. And it was a lot of work. But I, I will say, though, was there was some sacrifice.

So there were many times where you would go on trips and I no longer was coming with you. Yeah. Not necessarily international ones, but within the country. That was hard for me. And there were times where I would struggle with jealousy because I loved going on those trips. I loved I’m and I’m I’m more relational and I like and I hated going on without you because you’re more relationship.

But we we used to love going to these meetings because for us it was like we were on a mission and we loved influencing people, encouraging people. And it was just so much fun. But it was hard to do that with kids.

And so Isaac would often go without me.

And we ended up skipping some trips too.

Yeah. So you know what, guys you probably have assumed that Isaac said this, that pregnancies are easy and they’re just not easy for me.

I have struggled through every single one of the pregnancies to a certain degree, except, you know what, the last two were my easiest two.

My third was also. So we’re on two, though, and I wanted to be done. Yep. And was that right? Yes. You wanted to be done? Wanted to be done.

I had a weird dream that I that I that a child was missing. You.

And then the next day I went to the grocery store and I had Austin in the front part of the car and Kelsey in the big part of the cart.

And they were both like three not. No, she was three. He was. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. She was three. And he was just a baby is like maybe eight months old. And I thought that one of the kids was missing.

And I started scouring the grocery store. I don’t know if you’ve ever lost a child before, but I thought I lost a child and my heart was racing. I’m like pushing the cart, looking down every aisle, looking for my kid. Then I’ll send it dawns on me that my two kids are actually in the car. And I felt so dumb.

And so I took the kids and I gotten the minivan and I went back home, put them down for a nap, took them out myself. And Isaac came home. And that night I was like, You’re not gonna believe what I did today. And so I told him about what I what I experienced at the grocery store and how I felt like somebody was missing. And then again, that night, I had another dream. So I had two dreams back-to-back where like I a child was missing at the zoo or something. I dont don’tactually remember a lot about it. But then I just because of that, in my gut I felt like I don’t think I’m done.

Mm hmm. It was, it was how that spoke to me. I know I’m not letting go of this. Isaac must be done. And I’m like looking for the. Well, that isn’t here.

So what’s a girl to do? I know. So I told him that I wasn’t sure if I was done. And he was done in so that I was like, OK, he’s done.

But I was there. I mean, in hindsight, I was very selfish. I mean, he was the reasons I wanted to be done were selfish reasons. I wanted my wife back, if you know what I mean. I wanted to be able to go places. I wanted it to be easier to go out to restaurants. I wanted to just go to movie and travel and travel and, you know. And then I was thinking about there’s money, money, the cost and all the things and the pressure.

You had a cute little BMW convertible, and if we got one more kid, we were going to have to sell it and get a different car. Remember that?

Yeah. Kelsey and I used to love. Right?

No, seriously, you guys, this is just how it was. Yeah. For us.

And and so I was actually leading a Bible study at the time that challenged the thinking of do we have the right to determine the size of our family or, you know, what is God’s word say about this?

And I was struggling.

And can I just say that I’m I’m leading this little hosting this Bible study at our house, and majority of the women that were in the Bible study were much older than me. And they were like two years older to like 12 years older. A lot of their husbands had had vasectomies or they’d gotten her tubes tied. They’re all done having kids. And I was not pretty normal. And here I am bringing up what the next question is in the Bible study.

And I just bawled and was like, you guys, I can’t lead because, like, I don’t know what I believe. I mean, will you pray for me?

And I actually ask them. They told them that I didn’t think I was done.

And I said, pray for me to give up my desire for more kids. To support my husband, because I thought that it would push him to a place that would be bad for our marriage.

I super selfless of you and super selfish of me. I feel terrible.

But you know what, though? God grew both of us through it. And then we switched places a few kids later. And so. Yeah. And so I got. God bless my womb.

Three weeks later, and I was so scared to tell Isaac I was pregnant, but I was also like at peace, knowing it was totally his will, because he had put this desire in my heart. And I was trying to be obedient to what would be best and selfless. Right. And I think God just loved that and he blessed me. So you told me in a new way, though. I did.

Instead of telling him in a special way. I told them in front of Kelsey and Austin when he came home.

And he was like, really excited. And I wasn’t sure. View’s excited because the kids are there. It was really genuine. But then he just kept being excited and I realized God had changed his heart totally. It was a miracle. It was. And I was super excited.

You were super excited. He was so excited, you guys, that I gave birth to Megan. And before he cuts the umbilical cord, he’s got the scissors about to cut the umbilical cord. He’d help deliver her. And he looks me as we’re a good team at this. We can have more. And I’m thinking to myself, I only wanted one more.

What are what are you talking about?

Don’t say that. Timing is everything. That is bad timing. Don’t ever encourage more kids the moment your wife gives birth.

But if she says it, then it’s OK. Because I actually have a friend that says it right after she has a baby.

That’s OK. That’s OK. There’s things she could say that you can’t say. It’s true.

But then after that, we had Megan and then we had Drew and we had four kids with two girls and two boys. And and then six weeks postpartum hit. And Drew became very colicky.

And it was hard. I was exhausted between potty training an 18 month old and having a newborn and having a three year old. You were exhausted for good reason.

I was up in the night with kids that had night terrors and were wetting the bed and had colic. And then I had to be awake and on it to be a mom of four kids under six. And it was just. And didn’t we move to a bigger house? I did. And we were remodeling a 4200 square foot house or so. Also, I was project manager. This is how dumb I was. I mean, I actually I shouldn’t have said that, but we got a puppy. We got Moses when he was six weeks old. He was a great dog. We had him for a decade, you guys. But when we got him, while I was like seven months pregnant, we were remodeling the house and about to move in. And then we bought chicks and we built a chicken coop. We were insane. And then a garden. And then. And you’re not. But the vineyard came after right after Luke our Fith was born.

But but after Drew, I was done, you guys, it was just exhausting. And I really needed my health back. And I was worried about just not being able to be a good mom and be on

That’s right. Getting a as I was very sick. Yes. I said you’re getting a vasectomy.

You said that. I’m like, oh, I want another kid. Yeah. True story.

So the few times when when one of us was like, done, done, the other one wasn’t. And I praise God for that because we decided never. After the first time, we decided that we would never make a permanent decision until we were both in alignment. Yeah. Just because we both had the we both before we got married. We both. One of the things we were attracted to in one another was that we didn’t want to live with regret and we wanted to live on purpose. And so we didn’t want to have regret in any aspect of our life, including our family. So if one of us wasn’t in alignment and wasn’t done, we would wait till we were in alignment and pray. And that’s just kind of what we felt God was calling us to do.

And we always did. I mean, I should say always. But somewhere in this time, we really did fully see children as a blessing from God. And it’s all gone. No matter how difficult was for us. Still. Yeah. But still, it was a matter of. Okay. How much can Angie handle? Because her health and there was real health risks and challenges and things to think about.

So yeah. And my health continued to decline. And then we when we had after we had Luke well during that pregnancy that was my first bedrest.

But I was willing to get the vasectomy, but we made the appointment and everything. Yeah. And then.

And then God changed my heart. Yeah.

I, I promised Isaac that I’d pray about it.

We had some very strong disagreements and heated conversations because he was willing to get a vasectomy, but he wanted me to pray about it and spend some time to think about it first. And I was like so determined that we were done that. I was frustrated by that. But I did honor that. And I spent time in the word and in prayer and in during that time, God changed my Heart and helped me to see that another person’s whole life and eternity and their legacy is worth. A short period of time, that’s a sacrifice. And that at least that was what I felt. And what I had experienced up to that point wasn’t life threatening. It was puking. Yeah. Which is not fun. But it wasn’t life threatening.

So we both in our marriage have always tried to honor one another. And I for sure was gonna go through with the second. The point was set and everything. Yeah. But once you told me I was okay to call it off. Yeah, exactly. It’s like three days before something like that.

Yeah. Sounds about right. And and then we had we got pregnant Luke. And that pregnancy was I remember, crushed like I have had a moment. And ironically, in the shower with each of my ten pregnancies where I’m basically crying out to God and saying, Lord, I’m giving you my body to be a vessel to bring forth life again. Would you please bless me? No, let me be sick. And I just remember crying out to him every time and having faith and praying and asking people to pray. And with Luke. I was even more sick, you know, and so sick that I. I threw my back out and was going to chiropractor three times a week. You had to work less to help more and we had to have help from church.

And which even though it was super painful for you. It was super good for the future of our family because I did tend to work too much. Yeah. And this really that’s a nice way to put it. You are a workaholic. This really. I did have large responsibility, but yeah, I loved being home. So it wasn’t like I was trying to escape home at all. That’s true. But I did have growing rapidly, growing larger responsibility. And but this forced me to figure out how to work way less. And what was interesting is, God, give me wisdom just real quick on the business side. Guy gave me wisdom to figure out how to change how business was done to where I could work way less. And the business actually started doing more than with everything. Yeah, because it was interesting and he really blessed. That shows I gave it completely up to him, surrendered it to him as 2008 when Luke was born. When the economy was crashing and we started growing like crazy. The business doubled over those. Yeah.

Three years. That’s also what’s interesting is that Isaac, because he’s he and I both are visionaries. But to be honest, when you’re pregnant, Puking, you’re not much of a visionary other than I mean, have a baby in my arms one day. This is worth it. And you keep preaching that to yourself, to your the baby in your arms.

Yeah, but Isaac was at home more and so he was trying to be really purposeful with the kids. And he got this like this inkling he got this itch to have another project. So he decided, let’s plant a vineyard.

Well, while I’m pregnant, I remember standing there and I’m like, okay, I could do Christmas tree as we talked about. I could do a Christmas trees. And then because then you can write off the property and this tax benefit and I’m like, I don’t like I don’t like I only like my one Christmas tree at Christmas.

And you were like, I’m allergic to hay.

I remember this space and I’m just I remembers my arms crossed looking at the the feild.

I always dreamed of having a vineyard. If not now, then when?

If not now. Then when. It’s never going to happen. So I remember it.

And then I start, I feel near Damascus Vineyard. And then I was just it was it was really game on. Game on.

That’s right. And so we get it. We have Luke. And while he was six weeks old, we planted twelve hundred plants. And it was a whole lot of work, but we did it as a family. And afterwards we took the kids out to eat. I remember sitting around the big table in the side room at the olive garden and all the kids were like, so proud. You’re like, you can all have a special drink tonight. And they’re like, oh, lemonade.

And I and I talked about how amazing, you know, how hard they worked. We just think about how young our kids were. And we planted twelve hundred. we had to Dig each hole.

We had an assembly line. Everybody had a job. Megan was so cute. You remember she would go round and pick up the canisters that the plants were in. The one year old vines were in, put them in the canister pile and anyways.

Yes, it was so much work, but it was the best thing we ever did with our kids. And but then that postpartum was rough for me. And I struggled with the symptoms of mass dies every week and for 40 weeks. And I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, gout. I had a whole lot of issues, acidity issues. I was intolerant to dairy, all kinds of things, seen a natural path and had to work on my health. And we so we were waiting to get pregnant and we waited. We have a little space between Luke and Ethan, a little bit more than our other kids because other kids were 18 months apart. Some of them, not Austin and Kelsey, but the rest were. And. And so a little over two years later, we met, we had Ethan. But during that pregnancy, that pregnancy was even worse.

And I wound up in the hospital because I threw my back out and was on in the hospital for three weeks and then on bed rest for three months and then had the great a great ending of the pregnancy. I wasn’t sick at all the last few months, had a great birth. But then I hemorrhaged and was on bed rest again for another six weeks. And and I think I was we were both kind of done.

We were both done. And then that was also the beginning of transition. I was feeling like God wanted me to go do something else. I don’t feel like I went and did what God wanted me to do.

No, but you were seeking like that wasn’t the year that you read 50 books.

Oh, yeah. And before that. So I was like I was preparing. And I remember a pastor friend was over and he said, What are you preparing for? I go, I don’t know. I think that might ruin God’s plans if trying to figure it out. And I was just I was just preparing us, reading 30 purposeful books with the Bible being one of those over the year in journaling. And I’m not just kind of reading them, but generally tend to be implemented in my life. And then you went to Western Seminary. Western Seminary. This was still mean. Business was going great. It was the best young business that ever meant going, actually. And then you got CVI certified. So, coach. So. So Western Seminary to learn coaching. And then I incorporated assessments and credit. You know, Choose growth coaching. Yeah. It was called. Which did so well by the way, I. And we didn’t even need that money now.

So fact I went and got CVI certified too.

And we are doing marriage seminars where I mention ours and we’re in there, was made so much money so fast that we we went and bought that RV, at least the down payment, the sixteen thousand dollar down payment on it and. And it’s like eleven years ago. Yeah. So anyways, God kind of enabled that to happen because there is a lot of us and the only way we could travel and vacation and I didn’t want to be that kind of family that never did. Yeah. But there were eight of us. So I don’t I didn’t want our family, our kids to ever resent that there were so many kids because we couldn’t do things.

Yeah. And to be able to actually experience life together. So it’s interesting because people could make assumptions while we’re on our RV trip right now and think, oh, they have a lot of money. And so it’s kind of good for you two guys to know how we got the RV eleven years ago.

Yeah. Was a God blessed a different side venture.

We’ve been trying to figure out even two businesses know during that time was also when I wrote Redeem Childbirth, which was all ministry stuff. And so we had a lot of fruit. We were doing a lot of different things. Redeeming childbirth was like another baby for me. Yeah.

And it really did take over a couple of years for that was a became a bestseller in the first couple weeks. And on Amazon. Yes, it’s continued. It’s continues to sell and we. Yes.

And so, you know, it’s interesting, though, as a lot of times people.

Well, they’ll try to find a solution for their pain. And I had a lot of pain through my pregnancies and postpartum. And so that part of that and all that I’ve learned over the last 20 years of experiencing that right. 10 pregnancies, two losses, all the things we have in childbirth, in the Christian postpartum course. And it’s served a lot of women, but a lot of times people could look at that and be like, oh, wow. Has she have all this time to do these things?

But the reality is, guys, 20, 21 years of knowledge and experience and and going to doctors and natural pads and midwives all all the things like it’s it’s all of that combined into something. And so it wasn’t like this easy thing to just create it.

Yes. Like, if we ever, ever had a dream of having an online business or an information product or something like that. Just remember that the best things happen out of lots of experience. I kind of. I was. There was a book I was going to write. Don’t talk with any of it. But there was a book I was going to write a long time ago, and I’m actually really thankful I didn’t because I was so immature then and I lacked an understanding with the Bible actually said compared to today that I probably today would not be excited about that book being out there. But today I’d be excited about any book that’s out there because of just experiences, progress and biblical knowledge. Yeah. That we have today. So don’t rush those things on a side note. Let your journey speak volumes to where the product you make at the end is such a natural expression of the life you’ve lived.

Yeah, that’s right. So we had we wrote I wrote redeeming childbirth and started touring and we took Marvin.

That was part of how we were able to do that. Was it the tours and stuff? And we planted a vineyard and garden and chickens.

We had this hobby farm. Yes, this farm. And. And we were homeschooling. And that was primarily our lot.

My life. Right. I was like at churches as well for moms groups and stuff. Stuff like that.

And then Isaac felt like God was calling him away from the business that he had built. For how long? Eight long years.

I was in different aspects. 17 years. Yeah. Yeah. In the. In the. What I was building at the end, I was doing it. I think for 11 years. And Ed reached, you know, hit the lid of what’s what can be kind of done within that model. And and and so I felt like, okay. Any new challenge, new adventure. And there are some other reasons I get you know, there were outside of me that caused me to change, too. So. And then. But I was a little bit little bit blinded and didn’t go into the next best thing, I think because I had a bitter root in me and was trying to go prove something and some pride. And God really needed to crush that pride out of me, which I’m so thankful for. So painful because we built a business and which involved a bunch of employees and, you know, big office space and expenses and things in the model wasn’t quite right. And some other things. And. Long story short, it went out of business. A lot of debt followed us. And that was a humbling experience. But what was beautiful about that, just shortly, right before the business closed and all that happened.

You gave birth, Solomon? That’s right. And there’s five year gap between Solomon and Ethan. Actually, she’s almost six years, almost six years, six years. And what’s incredible about that is we weren’t doing anything to not have kids.

Right. So, yeah. So I during that time, I. I really felt like God had closed my room. I wasn’t in a place healthwise where, like, at least right after Ethan, where it would have been good that my back and all the things and actually be getting pregnant with Ethan put my hypothyroidism in remission. And interestingly enough, during that pregnancy and but there were still other things that I needed to be able to focus on that would have been hard to treat being pregnant. And. And so far, I had five years to get healthier. And it was my body needed that I needed the sleep that needed all of it and and praise God.

And we were able to be productive. We. That was not only did we write, I write redeeming childbirth, but also the biblical friendship online Bible study, which is a huge 12 week that’s online Bible study. So that was another huge project that I’m very proud of and I’m very thankful for to have the time to be involved with that. That was a great partnership with the Lord. And anyway, so then business went under.

We had Solman and God provided all kinds of awesome gifts for us during that time, even though it was the hardest time that we had to walk through.

All those things we could do another podcast on. But basically exhausted all of our resources, lost everything financially in our our marriage just grew stronger.

Our our family unit. God, I really should’ve got everything that mattered, Coop. Just even stronger. And that’s why when you nourish the right things, when things are good, when things get challenging, those right things just become sweeter. And that’s right.

And so they’re more primed for the actual challenge that’s at hand.

And I really understood what real pride looks like and what real humility feels like. And it was it was a great experience. I remember feeling I didn’t know how we were going to buy groceries, but I remember feeling so free and so joyful.

And I also remember us both having a complete peace and a desire for more kids do, which is pretty crazy considering where we were at financially. Right. But we just had this alignment and this peace and we are pregnant with Selah and we lost that pregnancy in the second trimester. That was really hard.

Well, because you basically died or almost died, you lost over half your blood. I had to get a blood transfusion. Very, very, very, very difficult. And those are kind of our Job years. No, of course, it’s not as bad as Job, but not even close by.

But but they were for us. They were the hardest.

We had through the hardest years, and we our family just grew so strong and God tought us so many good things.

And so what did you used to say? Used to say, we’ve won a lot and we’ve lost a lot and we’ve learned a lot. And I I always loved that phrase because it’s true in our older kids got to see all three of those. Yeah, we talk more about how to parent through life struggles.

And one of our podcasts in season one, which I really encourage you to if this is this podcast is resonating with you as we’re sharing part of our story. But I also just want to encourage you guys that just because we were of the perspective of looking forward to having more kids, even in the hard times and things like that, and you’re like, whoa, how’s that even work? Right. I don’t want you to compare your situation to our situation or to where we were at that time. And I’m just saying that right now, because I know that a lot of people could potentially struggle with that. Remember what we talked about the beginning of the podcast? how the comparison trap is an evil place to be ensnared and that just know Like that we believe and it doesn’t matter what we believe, but what we believe is that God has a different design for every family and that it’s an adventure.

It is an adventure, an adventure. If you allow adventure, I mean, you have to be very willing to be out of your comfort zone, not just, you know, kids, just all kinds of things. I mean, there’s a lot of things we left out about the time I invest in race horses without really talking to engine. There was a lot of money, too. Yeah, yeah. There’s lots of stories I can tell you the time we bought a condo and flipped it and there was a big win. You know, the time that you know, now you’re telling them all so we won’t tell them. But there’s a but it’s life’s an adventure when you’re when you’re when you’re willing to break out of your comfort zone.

And I would say that the last five years were definitely a God helping us break out of the comfort zone that we had created for the first 14 years of our marriage.

And then, you know, after the loss of Seelow, we were gifted a rainbow baby. We had Eli and we both both Solomon and Eli came at such a time when you know how kids just have that joy. And they’re just they don’t even have to try. And they just bring a smile to your face. You know, we needed that so badly and God knew that he and he gifted us those little boys. Yeah.

And absolutely, you know, they are such a joy in our family.

They are. And we also lost another baby just recently. A few months ago, actually, we lost mercy.

But our hope is in Him and we don’t know what our future holds. And we are praying constantly. We’re in alignment in our.

And there was even some recent terrible persecution on the ministry and God’s totally blessing. This ministry. It’s his ministry. Yeah. We’re just being obedient and just total falsities. Crazy attack on us. And you know what I think we’re I what I realized other day is. Mm hmm. We’re in a different season now. The world is changing a little bit. Is it? Christians are increasingly being persecuted and Americans are just not used to it. And so I just go, wow, I wasn’t really ready for that. And so now I am embracing it. Like, this is the new normal.

He’s better at embracing it than I am. OK. Just being honest.

But we’re gonna proclaim the truth.

And we are we are still gonna stand firm on the truth.

And so as we’re closing up, we just wanted to encourage you guys with three truths, you know, that have helped us to find God’s path for our family. Yeah, that might be an encouragement for you guys. And it’s all under the title of not compartmentalizing Jesus. Yeah, right. So don’t compartmentalize jesus. Because the first one is following Jesus versus following the crowd will result in God’s unique plan for you.

So what is the crowd that could be Christians around you? It could be people at work. It could be all the way. Peer pressure works or the culture culture works again. Literally. There’s so many places, the very best version of God’s plan for you and your family. Right. And so be really open to some things that might feel a little crazy sounding like crazy as you’re thinking about them.

I would say the best advice regarding this is don’t listen to anyone’s opinion. Just go to the word of God and be in alignment with your husband.

The only way to do that is to be praying and being in the world together. Right. And so but following Jesus versus following others, following the crowd what is the second one is regret.

You don’t want to have regret. And a lot of times later in life, you look back and you go, oh, I had these ideas, these dreams, these passions. And, you know, if you had them and you still remember them later, that means God probably put them in you. And that means you didn’t do something God put inside you, but inside you to do. And so what is you what are you were if not now, then whens?

That’s a good question. And I would say, you know. A lot of times people also choose to stay in the box of peer pressure or their comfort zone.

Yeah. And so you have to consider what are you going to regret by standing in a comfort zone? What are you going to regret by allowing peer pressure or conformity or pressure to conform the crowd to squelch or squish your passions and your dreams?

One thing we always knew is like we want to make sure we make decisions. That don’t lead to regrets down the road. Yeah. So that’s that’s important. Other things that really matter. Yeah. Like I can lose a business and things like that, but the things that really matter.

Right. Like for example, writing a book. Like for me that was a matter of like I knew God was calling me to write. And so like those things, like I had to go to Isaac and stay at home wife. Right. Stay at home mom in a very busy season of my life. And we were on a date night Visioneering doing what we love best and dreaming and sharing our dreams with each other. And I just shared you know, I feel like God is telling me I should write a book. I’d start. Isaac had encouraged me to blog years before, and I shared my dream with him. And he being the the the husband that he is, made space for me to be able to do that. He supported me and being able to do that. And I became a better mom, a better woman, a better wife because of it.

We sold them all babe. So while we gave some away, I guess that’s true, too. Yeah. But the third thing is to seek Him and every decision and area of life. Yeah. Seek Him to seek him. So follow Jesus, not the crowd.

Don’t have regrets and seek him. Those are the three main key points under not compartmentalizing Jesus.

So, again, God has a unique plan for your family. It’s not our plan. We each have our own plan. That’s right. So but let this. Hopefully this was encouraging, inspiring and gets you talking with your spouse about what God has for you guys.

And on the side, maybe we debunk some of your assumptions. See you next time.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting packet to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes. Most Christians are making more than that. It’s an incredible community.

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That’s CourageousParenting.com

Scripture In This Episode:

Proverbs 12:15 – “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But he who heeds counsel is wise.”

Matthew 6:24-27 – “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?”

Proverbs 14:15 – “The simple believes every word, But the prudent considers well his steps.”

Matthew 7:24 – “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock:”

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting Podcast, a weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom. And I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married 20 years, and have seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically based on the raw truth found in the Bible. We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

OK, you guys ready for part two? Here we go. Take few opinions, but do take the right few.

Ok, so you guys we’re super excited to dive in. We covered the first three ish points. Yes. In this episode. In the last podcast. So if you haven’t listened to that one, we really want to encourage you to go back and listen to it, because we covered a few things.

Yeah. So no one that we covered was who to take advice from. Everybody wants to give advice today, but we should only take a few of the right opinions, actually.

That’s right. So we actually had like, oh my goodness, there was probably eight. No, 10. There’s ten little mini points underneath that one that are good tests that you can do to see if you’re choosing the right person to get advice from. So I don’t know who who to get advice from. You’ve got to go back and listen to that podcast so that you can know what tests and what’s the second one.

The second one is mistakes people make there is quite a few of those, some you might not just naturally think of. And the third one is differentiate between advice and having a mentor. There’s a really big difference. Both are good. And the reason this is so important is because if you don’t model it, you can’t teach it.

That’s right. And we are totally living in crazy times. Yeah. Uncertain times. And the the podcast to podcasts a go. We talked about critical thinking in uncertain times. And this is about decision making, finding wisdom, being able to discern between what is true and not true. Right. That was part of the critical thinking. And.

And now how does that the conclusions that you’ve come to, in addition to the wisdom that you’re seeking and God help you to make the decisions that you need to make in today’s uncertain world?

Absolutely. And so thanks for joining us. We’re going to dive into the next three in a second. But first, just we’re always just in awe of what God is doing with the ministry. All the shares, the comments we read, everyone on social media, we read every one on itunes, wherever you guys post them and it helps to get the message out. Again, this isn’t for our ego. In fact, we didn’t even, like, conjure up the idea to do this. Now, God put this in our steps in our plan and said, you guys need to go do this and close some other doors that we thought were fantastic things. But he said, nope, I’m going to have you guys do this together. And I know you’ve been blogging forever, but doing it together encourages parenting. That’s been a fun journey over the last couple of years. So. But you have something to share.

Before we let you guys know how much I love my resources. And so I am super excited to share with you guys about a nether Christian company that has created some awesome resources for parents littles. If you guys are watching our YouTube channel, you can see what I’m talking about. I’m just going to share with you guys. We are taking these with us on our RV trip in this box because look at that. It’s awesome flashcards right here. And these ones are called this from Tiny Theologians. Do you love that name? It’s pretty great.

Hands on the packaging is so good.

And the cards are such quality, ya they are like kind of laminated, but not in a cheesy kind of way. They’re really quality. And so, like, they have tons of different types of cards they have.

And ABC is of Gods attributes, which I’ll just show you guys. If you’re looking at the website, you can see that it has a different kind of look than other cards that I was just holding up. They have the Lord’s Prayer cards, which help you to teach your kids the Lord’s Prayer. And it’s pretty awesome. On one side, it’ll say our father. And then the next card will say in heaven. And they’ll literally have descriptions about what to think about.

And then prayer recommendations to teach your kids how to pray and focused on the father had to pray and focus on heaven.

As you’re leading your family spiritually. This is a great aid and a great help, especially when you’re busy and so forth. And by the way, we don’t get anything for promoting this. This isn’t a paid commercial or anything.

We just know that, I mean, they definitely did collaborate with us and gifting us some of their flashcards to check them out. And we really like them. And we asked them if we could get a discount code for you guys. So if you’re interested in it, if you use theology 20, you’ll get 20 percent off your entire order at TinyTheologians.com. And you guys, I have like five of the sets of flashcards, but they actually have like eight different kinds. So you’ve got to go check them out.

Hey, speaking of wisdom, I wanna share a quick story. Then we’ll dive into the first point, which is one of the things we feel is important to do is to get out, get our family outside of our normal rhythms and environment long enough to really experience to have signature experiences at which we’ve talked about previous five. And one of the ways we do that and we’re getting ready to do that is every summer as of last couple years is where we do an RV trip or some kind of getaway and we go long enough. And I know everybody has different situations, but there’s been a dream took us it almost 10 years to start doing it.

And I got some you know, how they have those all share memories that come our Facebook news feed. We bought this RV eleven years ago because we’ve used it a ton over the years. Obviously having a lot of little kids, we can’t do two hotel rooms. So we really praise God that we were able to get that when we did. But we would do vacations during summer just. It wasn’t until, like two years ago that we did our big three month RV trip.

So now our God is orchestrate our life to have some freedom of how we work. We keep working. But, yeah, to be flexible and go do that. And so we’ve, you know, taken the kids to New York City and walked through the city and taking the ferry and just to experience all different kinds of people. Yeah.

And and I will tell you, we’re going to talk about stereotypes later in the podcast. Yeah, but that was something that taught me a lesson because I always thought that New York was super dangerous and when we were there. People were so friendly. It was amazing. So I know that there’s a lot of things going on everywhere in the world right now, and it’s different in 2020. But it was really good. It was a good experience for all of us.

So we’re getting ready, even though things are a little crazy out there right now. You can be praying for us. We are going to do a one four to five week trip and we’re going to every time he talks about it, you guys, he adds a week.

All right, let’s dive in. So what’s the.

Now, we talked a little bit about this point last time we were recap a couple things. We added new stuff with point four was how to choose a mentor. You want to recap a couple of things?

Yes. So, you guys, we covered the importance of having good practices. A good well, you can call them good practices of choosing a mentor.

Like praying. OK. That is like a given thing that obviously we’re going to take every request to the Lord and you want to be praying to God, asking him to reveal to you who you should ask, who would be a good mentor for you. Right. But also be praying for God’s timing and be praying for humility for both your mentor and for you. I mean, the thing that I was just thinking about, I was looking through some of my old blog post because I’ve written on this a lot, spoken on a lot over the years. And we’ll put the links to those blog posts in there because there’s about seven or eight on Titus to mentoring and different things like that. And those are free for you guys to to look through. But one of the things that hit me is that it takes humility to be both a mentee and a mentor. Right. So obviously, you’re not going to go out and look for a mentor. You’re going to look to for anyone to choose if you have an unteachable heart. If you have pride. Yeah. Right. So if you have never had a mentor before. I would just like to ask you, is it because because of pride or is it because you just haven’t been able to get one? Because I know many people out there have been praying for a mentor or looking for a mentor for many years.

Actually, I have friends that have been looking for a decade, and I’ve never actually had someone that they met with on a regular basis to go through the word of God together, to go through a book together, to actually dig in deeper in your relationship. And I would just encourage you guys to not give up because and to be brave. Can I say don’t give up. Be brave. Pray for courage. Pray for humility for you and for the person that you’re gonna be asking to mentor. And the reason I say that is because you may get some no’s, right, Isaac? You get you may ask and somebody might not have enough time. And this is really, really important to to realize to to be able to put yourself out of your experience and suspend that long enough so that you can put your try. Just try to put yourself in their shoes in their season of life and open your eyes and go, oh, yeah ok they have five teenagers maybe they don’t have time. And even though it may sound like they’re, you know, maybe have little kids, because our recommendation is to net like to always look for a mentor that’s at least a decade ahead of you in season of life, not age, because age does not qualify spiritual maturity or wisdom.

But to look for someone who is in a season of life ahead of you, where you can see through in their kids, you can see fruit in their marriage. And that’s that’s what you want to do. Right. Those are just some of the things that we covered in the last podcast. But you guys, it is crucial that you asked yourself the hard question. Do I have a teachable heart? Because otherwise, even if you are, say, seeking a mentor, because it’s the thing to do in the Christian church. And there’s a mentoring program at your church and your friends are signing up for it, you’re like, oh, yeah, I should have a mentor. If you don’t have a hungry thirsting teachable heart attitude, your time with your mentor is actually not going to be as productive. And so it’s really important that you seek the Lord, that you are asking him to help you to have a teachable heart and to to really be looking around, to have your eyes opened, right? Yeah. The other thing that’s super important. Is fasting. Yeah. Which a lot of people don’t really talk about that.

It’s important to get clear and get clear minded and to hear from God and in a different way. And it’s it’s just amazing how much more focused you become on him more often during the day and reliant on him. And it’s really, really a good thing.

One thing about fasting, as you’re talking, you said it to have clarity. I think that that is really important regarding who you’re choosing as a mentor because you want to evaluate, like, are you going after. Here’s one of the mistakes people make that we talked about in the last one. Don’t go after those in the cool club necessarily. Right? Like cool club versus realness. Like you want a mentor that’s going to get transparent, real share the things that they struggled with so that you can potentially avoid the mistakes that they’ve made. Right. And someone who is willing to be honest about things they struggle with so that they can relate to you and help you and guide you through those seasons. So it’s really important to have clarity because you don’t. You don’t. You might not want the person that you’re thinking you want.

Absolutely. I love the scripture in Proverbs 14:15 says the simple believes every word, but the prudent considers, well, his steps. A wise man fears and departs from evil, but a fool rages in his self-confident. Are we in a world where self-confidence is praised? Now there is there is an element of self-confidence that is good but overconfidence turns into pride, and a lot of times the breakdown in choosing a mentor is your pride. Because we look for things that aren’t the right things to look for and we’re looking for. Oh, who has the car that I want to have someday or. Yeah. Who’s been super successful. You know, and these these kinds of things. Who has the look of a life that I want the house, the, the car, the, the way the family looks. But you don’t really know. And so you have to really what you should be looking for is more spiritual things. Right. What are the spiritual elements and the you know.

Yeah, definitely spiritual fruit, but also like what is their life like? Are they disciplined? Yeah. Right.

Because some people can actually they can make an they can become idle in their life, in their jurisdictions that God’s put before them all in the name of growing spiritually. All right. I’ve seen this happen. And then they keep focusing on reading man’s words and growing so much so. And they’re growing and growing and growing. But they’re not actually doing work. They’re not actually taking time to take care of the things that God has put in front of them. And then years passed by. And their relationships with their kids, maybe even their husband. They look at them and they’re like, I don’t even know you. Or there’s no depth to those relationships because they’ve been so focused on themselves and their growth per say. And the truth is, is if their growth was focused more on man’s words and versus God’s words, they’re going potentially led astray. So you seem to be really wise about that. Be humble. The third thing is looking around to see who God has put in your life. This is superimportant here. Im just going to list some off. What about your mother? Your mother in law, grandma, cousin, aunt, neighbor, someone in the family of God like you go to a church.

Is there an older lady in the church? Yeah. Maybe it’s someone that you worked with that has a strong relationship with the Lord. There are many ways that God has placed people in your life for a reason. And it’s really important that we understand that God chose a design for his body, for his family. OK. Yeah, he’s got he. He calls us a body with many members and we all have different gifts right. And but then there’s also the element of we are a family where the family of God and within family God, there’s brothers and sisters. Right. And God is our father in heaven and the church is the bride. Right. But we’re brothers and sisters and some of us are big sisters. And some of us are little sisters and big brothers and little brothers. And the reality is, is God’s design for his people to be learning is by studying the word. Experiencing his presence and having communion and communication with him. Right, which through many avenues, worship prayer, reading the word. But then also he calls us in Titus two. He calls the older man to teach the younger men and older women to teach the younger one. And that is God’s design for learning within the family of God.

So well put. So you have to look for these three things.

You have to look for somebody that has real humility. The opposite of pride. Are they pointing you to Jesus or are they pointing you to themselves? That’s a key question. And when you’re around them, how much do they talk about themselves versus asking good questions and bring up scripture and give you good wisdom?

Here’s another example of someone who might be pointing you to Jesus versus pointing to themselves. If when you are, let’s say you are meeting with someone and you bring up a current problem, then you’re trying to figure out wisdom for. Right. And you bring it up and it’s okay if they go. Well, hey, you know what?

I actually have experience in a similar and I can share with you what I did do relating to, you know, relating to it.

But if that’s where it ends and their wisdom is like, oh, and I did this and it worked out great. Right.

Doesn’t that’s going to help you? It doesn’t mean it’s going to work out for you. If you guys listen to our previous podcast, we talk about how advice is not cookie cutter. It’s not one size fits all.

So they need to take it to the word of God. Back after that and say, hey, but let’s look at the word of God and let’s pray together. Because sometimes the best mentor doesn’t give you all the answers, because you know what?

Nobody has all the answers if they’re always trying to solve everything. You might question that instead. They should be. Yeah, relying on their experiences sometimes, but more so than even that is relying on the Bible and prayer and listening to the spirit of God and why.

Yes, I know it is also interesting about someone is going to point to Jesus versus point to the word when you guys meet. If it’s one of these things where you meet together and it’s you’ve got a list of questions that you want them to answer and you want them to just give you the answers. Right. Verses, meeting together to grow spiritually in your knowledge of Jesus and the word in the Bible and what you know the way is. Right. And if you are if you’re being mentored by someone who’s truly wanting to disciple you to Jesus and not disciple you to themselves, they’re going to be spending time with you in the actual word of God. Yeah. And that that is super important. They’re also going to take time to get to know you only one instead of just assuming that they know you because you’re like 20 years younger than them. All right. And just sayin things that maybe are wrong. Yeah. A good mentor is gonna take time to get to know who you are and where you are in your spiritual journey.

So the first one of the three was humility. And the second one is, do they really have a desire to invest? Do they actually see that as part of their Titus Two mandate by God? Because if they don’t, they might not stay the course with you. And so you want to get a sense for if they have a desire for that.

And it’s pretty obvious sometimes in the third one is do they have a sense of service about them?

And sometimes people are servant hearted, but they just don’t have time. They’re busy. It’s a long season of life for them. And sometimes they have a servant heart and they do have that time. And that’s more the ideal situation.

Right. And I think it’s important that we have grace with one another because there are definitely seasons that are not ideal for that. Right.

And and in addition, in order to be able to have that grace and not be bummed out and then discouraged to not ask someone else, you’ve got to put yourself in their shoes and go, hey. And I think the best expect virtue and one another.

So how do we make it easy in the beginning, Angie, so that it’s not too much of a commitment on either side? Yeah. So you could even see if this is really a deep relationship thats going to work that way

We’ll I actually talk about this and the blog posts on Courageous Mom, where you’re actually lane out expectations the first time you meet. And it’s really important that when you meet with somebody for the first time. So let’s say I want to ask Susie if she’s gonna be if she would like to mentor me or she’d be open to it. One of the important things to realize is that you and her both need to be good at communication. And people are not often familiar with how to mentor someone. Actually, the majority of Titus Two women out there that feel like they’re not qualified. And they’re they wouldn’t they don’t think that women want to hear from them. I’m just being honest with you guys. I have run mentoring programs, and this was the biggest hurdle that we had to get across. There are two hurdles. One, they felt like they weren’t qualified. No one wanted to meet with them. And two, they didn’t actually know how to disciple someone or take someone through the Bible. And so first thing that you need to do is talk about expectations. And you could easily say, hey, I really appreciate you meeting with me. It means a lot to me. Just so you know, my intentions.

I would love to have a deeper friendship, one with someone who’s older than me that can speak into my life, that I can run things by, but I can also grow in a biblical friendship with. I’m looking for a Titus to woman in my life and go, hey, I know maybe we don’t know each other, or maybe we’ve known each other kind of a little bit. You don’t have to decide now. I just ask you to pray about it and then maybe next time we get together, if you could come with what your expectations of me are and just, you know, like I’m open to going through a book together or reading the Bible together.

I would love to meet once a week or you could say I would love to meet every other week or once a month. The point is to lay out your expectations. Try to pick a time and date that’s going to work for both of you. But then also, here’s the catcher. You go, hey, how about we revisit it in two months or in three months and reevaluate and see if we want to continue or not? No pressure. It’s just one of those things because seasons of life change for for everybody.

I understand that. And when you start out a relationship that way, there is freedom for both to not feel this pressure or obligation where it feels like you’re checking off the box.

Also, you won’t be hesitant to take a stab at it with somebody. Yeah. Because it’s OK if it ends. And that’s totally fine. And so that’s really good. I was just as you were talking I was thinking about we were newly married and I asked Jim to mentor me. And it started out very, you know, like you’re talking about. And then it grew into something we both just cherish time together. You know, I remember seasons where we will go golfing at six in the morning once a week and do nine holes. You had to work last summer. And I remember many other times where we’d have lunch together or breakfast. I remember your breakfast, but every week, you know, for good period of time. And then there was a period of time when it went to every other week. And then, you know, I was about 12 years. And then I was we moved and things changed. But that was an amazing time.

And what I really appreciate about him is that I knew that he really loved me. Now that we grew into that love for each other. Right.

And he was that Christian father that was so integral to that’s already gone down the road. His kids were already mostly grown out of the house. And he had mistakes. He learned from and then he had things he did. Well, that is one of the character qualities that he had.

That was so admirable was his humility. No. I mean, they there when when I started meeting with Annie, his wife, which was about four years before you started meeting with well, maybe two years in. And then we continued for a little bit longer. She her youngest of five, was like graduating high school and then going into college. Yeah. And we were in our 20s. Right. And we. Well, I was pregnant Austin when I started meeting with her, I remember going to her house and Kelsey was super little. And we would walk around the neighborhood and then we’d sit at her house. And she always had a couple treats and a little basket of toys, which if you’re an older woman and you’re thinking of being a Titus Two mentor, like, oh, I need you step into this role. This is my calling. These are some good tips, actually, that you can go on walks with someone. I had another mentor. There was a pastor’s wife, Shawn, right at a different church later on. And we would go walking and take Kelsey on hikes in Portland. And so and she’d come over and do crafts with the kids and just and then we would talk after I put him down for a nap. And so it was a blessing that they were able both of those women were able to be flexible with me for the season life I was in and schedule around the time that was going gonna be good, where the kids could either be napping or were, you know. And so there there are many different tips on that kind of stuff, you guys.

But I just want to encourage you that for us, having mentors in our life has literally helped us become part of who we are. And it’s part of why we’re so passionate about this ministry. Oh, yeah. Is we’re now almost 21 years.

Married, couple months, we’re going to celebrate between for his anniversary. Amazing!

And so you guys, we get that there are things that we know now that we didn’t know because of experience. And we want to share those with you, whether it’s our mistakes or things God’s taught us for your benefit, for your edification, because that’s how we benefited. Yeah, it was people being honest with us.

I want to take a moment and give you something for free if you haven’t got it already, is the date night one sheet is a beautiful document you can download that will have some key questions on it for your date night. Just get in alignment about what’s most important for your family, no matter what time of year. It’s always important to recalibrate. You can get that by going to CourageousParenting.com and subscribing to our mailing list. Also, you can get all of our show notes and everything, at CourageousParenting.com. And I also just want to share Rick quick about the parenting mentor programs. So many families are being transformed by going through this is the six week self-paced program with wive engagement for us and even direct interaction. So if you want to join us, here’s a little bit more about it. You can find out more at courageousparenting.com.

Steven and I realized that we were getting too comfortable with the world’s vision of how to raise our children.

what Angie And Isaac have done in creating this is literally phenomenal, this program provided awesome scripture based teachings and just some really great practical applications.

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It has given me a vision for not just the different things that we might focus on as parents who are trying to raise our kids physically, like how our kids are behaving or what we’re doing with discipline, but also the things of heart.

We now have a game plan to how we want to raise our children who have so many answers to the questions that have been in our mind.

It’s not just these hypothetical situations or it’s not just this. Here’s what I think you should do. It’s let me show you where in scripture this is. Do your legacy a favor and yourself a favor and just do it. One of the best things that we’ve done this year, one of the best investments we’ve made this year. And I could not recommend it more we are no longer fearing dark days ahead.

But we’re so excited to raise the lights to be leaders for the next generation.

Now, you guys, so we talked about praying, fasting, looking around, judging the fruit and somebodies life, asking them someone that’s in a decade, a season ahead of you. Humility, desire, service. These are all things you need to consider in choosing a mentor. But there are some bad practices now. Okay, so we have some warnings for you guys. You ready for this? These are the warnings. OK, stereotyping. This is kind of a pet peeve for me.

I don’t know if it is for you, but if they have a certain aspect of their life, that is a good thing. But you’re not choosing to do. You just decide, oh, I don’t want I don’t want to learn. What would one of those be like? Someone who homeschools.

Yeah. OK. So these are some I’m just going to plop them out. People often stereotype homeschoolers. People often stereotype people who go to home. Church people often stereotype big families or people who do homework. I mean, there are millions of stereotypes out there. Pastors, kids are a stereotype. Yeah. Entrepreneurs have stereotypes. Yes. I could go on and on and on. And it’s hit with the thing we have to be aware of is that it is human nature. Again, I’m bringing this up. Human nature is that we would be self preserving of our egos because we’re we’re. That’s just true. Is biblical. Right. And when we’re honest about that and we’re not hiding it and trying to make it all pretty and justify it when we’re honest about that, the reality is one of the ways that we justify not listening to truth from some people is by going. Those people. Right. Yeah. When thinking, oh, they homeschool. I don’t homeschool. So I’m not going to take their parenting advice because they’re too. Whatever.

Yeah. And sometimes you think things like this. I know I did about people who homeschool when I wasn’t a fan of it because we are. People homeschool to shelter their kids. Right. And what they’re socially awkward is true in some cases. It’s not the reason we decided to homeschool. And there are so out there, like, really positive reasons why we chose to homeschool. Right.

And so another thing is, oh, the big family, that rain must assume that Albay, they probably came from a big family and they really think everybody should have a big family, right? Oh, they must be of that. What is that called?

The Quiverful movement, which, by the way, we are absolutely opposed to that movement.

But we were like but we do like psalm 127. Yeah. Because we like all of scripture. And it says blessed is man who has a quiver full of children.

Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean we think everybody should just have as many kids as possible. And everybody different situations and God has a unique plan for every family.

And quivers can be different sizes. Right.

Can I just say that. Yeah. quivers can be different sizes.

And so there are things about that that are obviously like just being out about I can’t hide my kids, so I fall into the stereotype of the big family all the time, you guys.

We went one at a time and we weren’t kid people. And, you know, you have a brother and sister I have a brother and sister, so.

Exactly. And so you guys, I just think that it’s important to sometimes. Not sometimes. Sorry. That was weak. Always recognize that when you what you see on the outside, there’s always a story behind it. Do not just judge or assume because you could be judging wrongly by stereotyping.

So you’re judging and then you’re missing out potential. You’re thinking they’re judging and. Right. Right. We don’t really know.

Right. And so I would just say, like, assume virtue, expect virtue in one another and instead go, wow, God is good. That he blessed that family. Right. And I would think the same thing of somebody who had one or, you know, all children are a blessing. And so I just think that it’s important that we recognize that there is a bad practice out there, which is partially stereotyping for the purpose of justifying our reasoning for not wanting to listen to them totally. And so and I’m I’m just being honest. people gravitate towards safety, comfort.

And we don’t want people to ruffle feathers and challenge us to grow just to grow, step out of our comfort zone.

That actually should be a piece of the purpose of having a mentor, not the whole thing with a piece of it. And we should be able to have people hold us accountable to the things we struggle to to. Right. All right. Number five is foolishness disguised as wisdom. There’s a really big deal. All right. What. What appears to be wise at first glance often actually isn’t. There’s lots of things you’ll even see. People like on social media, for example, do certain things. And it seems to be wise and maybe the right thing at the right time. But if you actually dig deeper, you might realize there’s more truth to something that maybe makes you not want to follow suit with what lots of Christians are doing. And so you have to look at what is real wisdom. What is the truth behind things? What is the agenda of things? And you have to really I think it’s so important that you’re looking for the spiritual person now. Sounds a little strange, but it’s actually not. Its a biblical thing. You’re looking for someone that has the Holy Spirit emanating from them so that it is they’re controlled by the spirit of God versus being controlled by the world. That’s what I mean by a spiritual person. Otherwise, they’re going to bring things to you that look like wisdom that you’ll want to grab on to. That actually is foolishness in disguise.

Interesting. Can you give us an example?

Well, that’s a tough one, honey. Look at the one on the spot.

But I can there’s lots of them that happen out there.

But, you know, I actually think I just thought of one when we talked about this idea a couple podcasts ago.

Yeah, we are doing the critical thinking in an uncertain world. We talked about the importance of understanding that many things can be true at the same time. And we have witnessed Christians and non Christians alike blaming Covid on one thing. I’ll just say one thing. It’s this one thing.

There’s one conspiracy in this one paradigm.

But the truth actually is that many things can be true at the same.

You’ve got to go listen to the critical thinking, right, that we’d like.

Do you see how that is actually a perfect example of if you’re following a Christian online for example, that just says it is one thing and you just believe them versus doing research and critical thinking and realize. I’m not going to give you a specific example, but many, many times in my life, I have experienced a thought of the wise thing to do.

And then in prayer and contemplation, I’ll be prompted to do something very different. And it doesn’t always make sense to people around you. And then you do it and it works out incredibly well. I’ve seen that happen in business. I’ve seen that happen in our family. I’ve seen that happen in my own personal decisions. And sometimes at least what helped to work that muscle, I think, was having a mentor in my younger years that I could run things by. That was a spiritual person because they bring me to the Bible and we’d think about it clearly versus through the filter of the world.

So there’s the filter that naturally happens because we’re in the world that rubs off on side and it creates a filter.

And so we can think things are good.

But clear thinking is getting away from the worldly thinking and suspending that by looking with the word says and paint, entering the spirit of God, saying sometimes the spirit of speaking through another person that you. Just to give you that information. And so that is so.

So just be careful of foolishness. Sometimes foolishness looks so good. And we call it wisdom. So that’s really, really important. And so, yes, there’s some things, by the way, even with good mentors, that you’re going to listen respectfully and you’re not going to do.

True.

True that because nobody’s perfect.

Yeah. I think that this is really important, too, to realize that there may be some things, strengths that certain people have and everybody has weaknesses. Right. So there are just some.

And the reason why I’m bringing this up is because you guys choosing a mentor doesn’t mean that you’re going to want to necessarily emulate everything right there. Maybe you see someone who has a strong marriage, but they you don’t really know what the relationships with their kids are because their kids are all grown and out of the house and they’re married and they’re gone.

And so you can’t really drudge the parenting fruit. Right. But you see the fruit in their marriage. And so you start spending time with them. You’re getting marriage advice. It seems to be going really well. You’re studying the word on marriage. Biblical wisdom.

And then you ask them a couple of questions about parenting. And you’re like, well, that doesn’t sound right to me. That’s not really what I think the Bible actually directs me in. And it’s important to go. You know what? I can just take it respectfully, but take it with a grain of salt like we talked about and choose to just come put that one over here and you might focus that relationship on other things in the future.

Exactly. If you will sense a differing opinion of what wisdom is on some things. Right.

Exactly. And I’ve had relationships like this, like, for example, I’ve had people that I’ve met with where they didn’t homeschool and I was homeschooling. And so the topic that we talked about was not parenting. It was other things. Right? Whether it was online ministry or marriage or whatever. And so it’s good for you to identify what things you want to glean from people and maybe even have one or two that can teach you different things. That’s OK, too. And so it’s it’s just important to have that as a realization in your mind. So do you want to move on to the sixth?

The sixth one is exciting in its virtual mentors. Now, it’s so exciting. I know that. That’s awesome if you do. And that would be wrong, actually.

Yeah.

So virtual mentor and mentors the books online stuff.

Yeah. We’re podcasts, reading blog posts, listening to music actually. I mean, they’re not really a mentor, but they are focusing your mind on something and you’re meditating on words that are in their lyrics right over and over and over again. And that actually impacts and leads your heart and your thinking. And so whatever influences your thinking, influences your heart attitudes. You’ve technically chosen a virtual mentor.

And it’s it’s a good thing that virtual mentor is, but it just can’t be the only thing. So I don’t want us to hang on this. It is. We believe in it. Yeah. You’ve got to have that real person, real people in your life. that iron sharpens iron.

Right. So, so important. And there’s a scripture that I want to cover as we go into this, which is build on the rock.

Right to Matthew 7:24. Therefore, whoever hears these things of mine and does them, I liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock in the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house. And it did not fall for it was founded on the rock.

So as parents, as a father, mother, husband, wife, as one of God’s true people, what are you building on? And I happen to believe that it’s very hard to build on the solid rock. If you’re only running the race by yourself and only have the Bible, it is possible. But I do think that there’s blind spots. We’re not going to see if we don’t have the in person relationships with people’s. That’s the warning to keep us on track and to really speak into our lives. And so the Holy Spirit acts through other people.

So one thing that’s really important that we did not actually put in the list that just hit me and this is super important.

I mean, I have to like write more about this is that when you’re choosing a mentor and you’re wanting to choose someone who’s humble. The first thing you need to look for is have they made themselves accountable to someone who are they learning from.

Do they have a teachable heart? Because the reality is you become like who you’re being led by in some ways. If you have someone who thinks they know it all and they’re never meeting with anyone else, they’re not asking for accountability. They’re not being honest with anyone about their struggles because everybody has struggles. That’s a dangerous person to have as your mentor, actually. And so I, I, I say this with the most respect towards older people, but the reality is, is pride can set in when you’re older.

I am. I got to tell a story. I remember a time I was all into this mentorship thing and I was going to write a book with my mentor called The Fatherless Gap, which I think I still own that domain. And if you don’t now somebody else. So I will. And it will never materialize. Should have. But and I wrote outline and all this stuff one time ago I was on this kick and I was testing the theory. And so we were part of a bigger traditional church, a nondenominational church at the time. And where they’re great worshipped in the rich tertiary time of life, actually. Oh, yeah. And the church. Yeah. And so and then I remember train thinking about how he’s gonna use me here. And I got this kick about mentorship. And I was talking to these older gentlemen. One of them was a deacon and the other one was like a teacher at the big church. And. And I challenged one of them to find a mentor. But he was a library, remember, in his 60s, I think. I know. And at first he’s like, oh, I thought of that. And then he came back to me the next week and I was in were standing in front of this teacher and this other older guy. And he says he was so excited like a kid because I found my mentor and there is an 80 year old man. And it was just brought joy to this eight year old guy because he was being used more useful than he was. Well, and so we wanted to learn from. Yeah. So we want to learn from him.

And the other guy sitting there mocked him and said. Why do you need a mentor? That’s so sad.

Yeah, and it makes me excited for the older guy because I have seen so I’ve heard from so many older women who are like I. I hear you. I’ll be sharing teaching on Titus two, right. At a women’s retreat, which I’ve done many times. And I’ll have older women come up to me. I know that that’s God’s call my life. But, you know, they’ll say either no one was you here for me. Why would I want to hear from me or I don’t know how to do it. But also, they literally when they start getting older, they’re just hungry for Kont contributing. Having a contribution that they can give to the body of Christ. Right. And this is actually God’s design for them. And so if we don’t reach out to them, we’re actually robbing them of the blessing of being able to be obedient to God’s word. And I also think that this is an important thing regarding like, you know, who is serving in Sunday schools or nurseries or different things like that. Like it shouldn’t be the young moms. If they’re going to have that, it should be the older grandmas. That would be a beautiful way to connect the older generation of the younger generation.

We all need accountability. We all need it. We all need somebody speaking earlier if we need to give permission for somebody to ask us the tough questions. Otherwise, the enemy is roaring like a lion. He wants to take us. Yeah.

You know what? It just hit me, too. Guys, here’s a prayer requests we have. I don’t we don’t normally do this in the podcast. No idea what you’re doing.

But we have a massive prayer request. And I believe wholeheartedly that the whole church needs to be praying specifically for the older generation, All of the Titus Two men and the Titus Two women out there. God, laid this on my heart. Like to tell you the reason I brought it up the church. But we need the greater church to be praying because with what has happened with covid and the fear that is surrounding this for elderly people, I feel like this was very strategic of the enemy, the adversary, to try to fearfully remove the Titus Two men and women from the body of Christ. And that is not OK. And so we we have got to be praying and encouraging these people and helping them as much as we can because we need them. You guys, we need their wisdom.

We do. Absolutely.

So I thought that it would be fun. Isaac, what do you think of us sharing a little bit about our story? Well, we’re doing that in the next episode. Are we? Yeah. What should we do? Just a little. A little bit. Well, we did share with you guys about the older couple that one of the older couples I’ve actually had about 14 mentors that I’ve met with on a regular basis through my. Yeah, I have a much smaller number than that.

But you guys, I started when I was 15. I had it. I was I wanted to be a missionary. So I found it. Forty five year old single woman. That was missionary.

Yeah. She mentored me. And I. I just valued that so much. And so there’s many young people listening who are not married. I would just encourage you. This is the season to be growing and learning in that. But realize that you have a different story than we have. Yes. Obviously, that’s that’s an obvious thing. You’re like, yeah, I get that, Angie. But I just I think it’s important that we say because we’ve talked about stereotypes in this episode. We’ve talked about the homeschooling stereotype, the big family stereotype. You guys need to hear from us from our lips confidently that we believe that God has given you guys a unique purpose and that you and your hut, he has his specific designed for your family. Yes. And it’s not going to necessarily look like cars. Yeah. And your story is unique and beautiful. Right. And help helping to be a part of the body of Christ. Stepping up and going. Okay Lord, use me. What are my gifts. How can I who is young in your life that you could actually be serving. You know you should be desiring. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I remember like some younger women that were when I was in my thirties, they were in their 20s coming to me and asking if I would mentor them.

And I remember thinking, I am not Titus Two mentor. I am 30 and I’m young. I have no gray hair. And one of my mentors at the time said by Angie, you are 10 years down the road from them.

They don’t have kids yet. And you have a 10 year old and. And I just remember thinking to myself, oh, OK.

Well, I am an aspiring Titus Two woman, amen. And so if you are young, hey, practice be purposeful getting get engaged in the mission of the great commission of making disciples of pointing people to Jesus and realize that you can be aspiring to be a Titus Two woman.

And we’re going to in the next episode is titled God Has a Unique Plan for Your Family and so makes you tune into that will go more.

We’re going to get really raw and real about our story and how things transpired. Wired for us up to this point. But you know what? I love this. We’re not the experts of your family. God is. We’re just here to encourage, and to inspire. Get you thinking about things. And then you and your spouse are to assimilate that. Pray and figure out what is relevant for us. Right. Don’t mimic us. Ask God what is relevant for us. And make your own decisions. In the spirit while you’re walking strong with God. And I think that is the big key. But you’ll probably get us a bigger sense of that from this next episode.

That’s right. And so the last little encouragement that comes to my mind that I just want I encourage people with is that God is the one who gets to write your story. And so it’s really important that we don’t compartmentalize him out of any area of our life. And we invite him to be a part of it, because you guys, as you’re walking the stories, the testimonies that you will have throughout your life, that is part of your legacy, that those stories of you being able to witness God, move those testimonies, their testimonies, and in Psalm 119 all throughout, if you just look for the word testimony, your testimonies, Lord. That’s what the Bible is. It’s a bunch of of testimonies of God’s goodness and who he is. And and he’s teaching us things right. And the reality is, is we all have testimonies that we can be sharing with our kids and so don’t compartmentalize him out of it. Let him write your story. And I just pray that were an encouragement and thankful that we get to be a little part of what he’s doing in your life. Amen.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week. Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting package to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience, training to overcoming mistakes. Most Christians are making more than that. It’s an incredible community. You’ll have access to a private online group, live webcast and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragements straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentorship program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com.

That’s CourageousParenting.com

Scripture In This Episode:

James 3:17 – “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”

Luke 21:15 – “for I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to contradict or resist.”

James 1:19 – “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;”

1 Corinthians 5:12-13 – “For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges. Therefore ‘put away from yourselves the evil person.'”

Ephesians 5:15 – “See then that you walk ^[a]circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,”

Matthew 7:16 – “You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?”

Isaiah 11:2 – “ The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon Him, The Spirit of wisdom and understanding, The Spirit of counsel and might, The Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord.”

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Full Transcript:

Welcome to Courageous Parenting podcast, the weekly show to equip parents with biblical truth on raising confident Christian kids in an uncertain world. Hi, I’m Angie from Courageous Mom. And I’m Isaac from Resolute Man.

We’ve been married 20 years, and have seen the fruit in raising our eight kids biblically based on the raw truth found in the Bible. We can no longer let the culture win the hearts of children. Too many children from Christian families are walking away from the faith by age 18. And it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way. Join us as we start an important conversation about effective parenting in a fallen world.

Welcome to the podcast, everybody.

Hey, guys.

So we just prayed before we did this podcast because we understand that right now things are very challenging around the world. Yeah. And in America, very. This is a very somber time for many.

But I just want to encourage you, I hope that this podcast is exhorting. I hope that it’s encouraging, uplifting. We are going to talk today about taking few opinions, but you do need to take the right few.

You see, there’s so many people that want to give advice. So sometimes it’s hard to get the right advice and, you know, when to choose who to actually truly take an opinion from. And we’re in an age where more than ever we need to have wise counsel. Yeah, super important.

That’s true. And at the same time, we also are in an age where there is basically counsel and persuasion and manipulation happening all over social media. Well, so you try to discern what at wisely what next steps should be in certain things, what to participate in, what not to participate in, what to believe, what not to believe.

There’s plenty of foolishness disguised as wisdom. There’s everybody wants to give an opinion and there’s plenty of ways to give an opinion. I actually think that’s amazing that we all have the ability to have such a voice. But with so many voices, with so much noise, we have to be even more wise and understand how to select the right stuff.

That’s right. And so, you guys, our last podcast, I hope you took advantage of it. It was critical thinking in an uncertain world. And we cover some really important questions to ask. Six keys, actually. Know, we talk really candidly about making sure that you’re not focusing or making your decisions through a biased opinion or a world view that’s tainted by a biblical one because we’re Christians. If you’re listening, you’re most likely a Christian. And there’s just so much good truth in that podcast that we really hope that you would listen to that along with this. This is the other side of critical thinking. To be able to make decisions in an uncertain world is who do you seek wisdom from? Right. You take opinions from. So it says take few opinions, but do take the right view, which is what we are titling. Today’s podcast. And we just want to encourage you guys, because God’s word tells us to seek wisdom.

He does. He does. And so we’re going to dive in and we just thank you for being part of the one million legacies movement. It’s incredible. I think the podcast is close to six hundred thousand downloads since it started just a year and half ago or so. And the parenting mentor program fills up every time, every six weeks. And the homeschooling blueprint. We are getting so much feedback from that and the postpartum course and the book. And it’s just really amazing how God is using all these things. We thank you. And if you wouldn’t mind giving some review on iTunes or you listen, they’ll be great. Five star just takes a tap and it really helps the algorithms get the movement out there. So we sure appreciate that.

So there are a few ways to dive in. There are a few ways that God encourages. And he he gives us guidance in his word on how is the best way to seek wisdom. And there are two main best ways to seek wisdom. One is by reading the word and one is by getting wise counsel.

Let’s hear what the word says. And James 3:17 and oh, so funny. Let’s talk about Bibles for a second. When you’re not reading your own Bible, it is immensely.

Oh, yeah. We’re using my Bible and I have all the doubt anyways.

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure than peaceful, gentle, willing to yield, fold mercy and good fruits, without partiality, without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of the righteous has sown in the peace by those who make peace.

I love that. So this is a great word to encourage you in seeking wisdom from the word of God, from the Holy Bible, the unchanging and valuable word of God. And one of the things that stay stands out to me. I mean, obviously, we could go line by line with this, but it says here, without partiality and without hypocrisy and see, that’s the that’s actually one part that can be dangerous and taking advice from humans is that there’s can be biases. Partiality is biases, there can be hypocrisy, someone giving you advice that they themselves would never actually take.

That’s why I’ve always, even in my younger years, have always told people I used to mentor literally hundreds, sometimes thousands of people. And when I would give a speech in front of people and I’d always say take few opinions because, you know, a lot of times they’re agenda driven and people don’t even realize the third vises agenda driven, whether it’s through competition or other things. So you’re really looking for that pure wisdom you can trust. And we’ll talk about how to get that.

Yeah. Another aspect that’s really important is seeking wise counsel.

Right. And so a lot of times people think, oh, wow, OK. What is that supposed to look like today? Right. Because when you grow up and you become an adult, you start adult thing. You have to make decisions. And sometimes those decisions can be really hard. And one of the things that we have always done is we’ve always looked to what other people are doing. We’re very observant. Yeah. And were quick to go, OK, that had that result.

We’re not going to do that. Oh, look how that turned out for them. We should pray about that. Right. Yeah.

But we have also sought out counsel from people, both people who we just thought had fruit in their lives that maybe were not our mentors. Yeah. But also we have sought counsel, regular counsel from mentors, which are two different things that we’re going to talk about today. And so I just thought that it would be kind of cool to share a little bit about, you know, the importance of seeking wise counsel. Yeah. So obviously, we’ve shared on the podcast that we’ve been in a lot of different scenarios where we have needed counsel from other people. And you guys, this is this is something that takes humility.

It really does. Toy ask. Boy, that was counsel.

That was one of the hardest things for me to do. I would say all the way up until he’s like thirty nine.

It was very, very hard for you to ask people for help and to ask their advice. And really proud of you for sharing.

Yeah I, I will give myself a little bit of credit. I did have a mentor in my younger years. Part of that was I married this really brilliant wife that had a lot of Bible knowledge and I was a new Christian. So I really need an older guy. I really knock some sense into me. But self anyways, that’s another story.

Yeah. So I want to share a scripture with you. That that’s from Luke. Chapter 21, verse 15. It says, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to contradict or resist. Interesting.

Mm hmm. This is a this is Jesus is talking about and times, actually, which is interesting because we’re in us, we’re in uncertain times. That’s what this passage of scripture is talking about. Know you’re one of these things being it goes down and it says that he will give you a mouth and wisdom which your adversaries will not be able to contradict and resist. When I think about that, the wisdom that he gives us is obviously the ability to recall or remember the wisdom that’s in the word. Yeah. Another aspect of this is the gift of the Holy Spirit. He gives us the Holy Spirit, which is the helper. The helper helps us made wise decisions. Right. Like, for example, if you or you have two paths in your life. Which one do I go down? You may notice things if you start examining that, you wouldn’t see if you were just quick to act in your flesh.

Right. I think I’ll see you in that scripture. So good because the enemy is scheming against you. And the more you’re pressing of our theories for the kingdom of God to really glorify God with your life and share the gospel and teach people the good news and so forth, the more the enemy hates that and doesn’t want you to succeed. And so sometimes it’s really I’ve seen this so many times when I’m oppressing closest to God and dealing with the challenge or the enemy’s schemes coming at me. It’s sometimes the actions you take are really different looking to people around you. But it throws the enemy off.

Right. Because he. That’s true. That’s true. And you can’t get that by yourself.

You need the Holy Spirit. And you need sometimes to run it by someone you trust.

Right. And so we’re going to talk about some important key, I guess, ideas or tips on how to figure out how to run things by. Because in today’s society, there’s just tons of opinions coming at you all the time. And before we jump into our six main reasons here, because we actually have six reasons for you. Six tips for you guys. There’s one aspect of seeking wisdom that I think is really important. And it’s it’s a biblical concept. It’s in James one 19. I’m just going to read it real quick. It says, so then my beloved brethren let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath, one translation says, and slow to become angry. It doesn’t say not become angry. It says to be slow to it. Right. Which means that we do sometimes, you know, another passage Scripture says in your anger, do not sin. Right. And so, I mean, this is very relevant to what we’re even watching happening around the country today. Right. And regarding sin and being quick and. And I think that when it comes to getting wisdom into the decisions that we make and how we’re participating with our voice, even on different topics, we sometimes need to be slow to speak, slow to contribute to the noise. Right. I’m not wanting our words to be noise, but slow to speak. Watching, being observant, prayerful, fasting and not making decisions hastily and quickly. That’s what this is saying and saying. Be slow to speak and slow and quick to listen. Be quick to listen and slow to become angry. Not just like, you know, jumping in really quick with anger. And I think that this is an important wisdom from God’s word that we all need to remember. And also, we actually need to judge the people that we’re getting guidance from. Are they doing these things? Are they doing these things? Because if they’re not doing these things, we need to be careful.

Yeah, yeah. That’s so good. So when we go through the six things, we’ll cross our first we’re going to go. Who do you take advice from? They won’t be talking about mistakes people make. Then how to differentiate between advice and having a mentor. And then we’re going to talk about how to choose a mentor and foolishness often disguised as wisdom, what that looks like.

And then we’re gonna talk about virtual mentors and share some of our story. And we have some good encouragements for you guys at the end.

And that will launch into next week’s podcast.

Next week’s podcast is going to be an interesting one. We’re going to talk about how we ended up with eight kids. We can talk a little bit about our story and the importance of not stereotyping people. And we don’t talk about many different things, such as like the Quiverful movement. We’ll talk about a little bit about that and that we are not that.

So, yeah, and that has to do with this because in but it has to do with getting a mentor and so forth.

Right. And just just. We’ll be talking about this in this podcast a little bit later. But just understanding that sometimes people do make stereotypes and that impacts who they get advice from.

Yeah, absolutely. Let’s dive in. So who to take advice from?

First thing you got to do is pray and potentially fast. Yeah, right. I mean, we were just walking through something really intense and you fasted for. Three days just to I mean, I’m at you. I wouldn’t have shared that, sorry. That’s okay. Now, to get clarity. Yeah, to get clarity. And I think that it’s important that we all practice that with big and big decisions, such as who we allow to influence us. Because if we’re going to somebody for advice, we’re going to someone for influence. Yeah, right. And it’s potentially going to impact what decisions we make, what actions we take or not take, things like that. So prayer is is essential because we want to be communicating with God.

Yeah, absolutely is. And so what do we do when we’re trying to figure out if we should take advice from somebody?

So we have. Well, the first thing that we just said was to pray. And the second thing on our little list here is to test another way to put this would be to discern yet another word. A lot of Christians don’t like this word. Are you ready, Judge. Yeah. So test, discern and judge before you choose who you’re going to take it.

Now, before you go off on the handle in your head and goes, oh, another group of judgmental Christians and that kind of thing, we’re definitely not judgmental in extra biblical sense, but we are judgmental according to what the Bible tells us to do to make good judgments about other believers. Right. We’re not to make judgments about non believers. That’s not our job.

Right. But there is a scripture. Do you want to share this? Go ahead. We are going to. Okay. It’s in First Corinthians, chapter five versus twelve through 13, actually. And I would encourage you to go back and read this entire chapter, you guys. This is a really important topic because this is something that the church has been deceived on regarding judgmentalism and judging. It says for what do I have with judging those who are outside the church? So saying, why would you even bother with that? It’s not like there’s not saved you. That’s not your job. You can’t judge someone’s heart. That’s not what it is. Do you not judge those who are inside, but those who are outside? God judges, therefore put away from yourselves the evil person.

Yeah. So it’s important to discern really this is a discernment act right here, which is you’re discerning amongst other Christians who is worthy and good and safe, rather, to get advice from. Mm hmm. And that’s based on a lot of things. But one of them is fruitfulness.

True? Yes. And that’s one of the things that we’re talking about when it comes to testing and judging. You want to be able to look at the fruit. And before we go any further on this topic, I really want to share that effusions five scripture that we were talking about, because right now this is in regards to the uncertain times and trying to find people who are wise to get advice from. And I just you shared this scripture with me. I was like, that’s perfect.

It’s in Ephesians five, Chapter 15. Says, see then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise redeeming the time because the days are evil. So it’s like be aware. Look around circumspectly. And that says, do not be unwise. We’re talking about seeking wisdom. Right. Do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

It’s also, you know, if we have too much time on our hands, which I think may be Covid may have created that for a good portion of people point a lot of time on our hands isn’t good. Actually, it’s redeeming the time it’s talking about, which is super important. Yeah. So that can be part of the mess our country is in right now.

Right. And so when it comes to fruit, the fruit that we’re talking about, that’s important to judges. Like, for example, let’s just we’re a courageous parenting. So let’s say you’re looking for advice in parenting. What is what is a good example of how you would judge the fruit? You would look at someone’s children and go. Do I want my kids to be like that? Yeah. And if you can say yes, then maybe that’s a good person to go talk to and get advice from on parenting. Right. And if you look at the kids and you go, whoa, I do not want that. Then maybe you’re a little bit more hesitant to take advice from them. And I would say that that is a really for us. I’m just being honest. That has been one of the first most things that we have always looked at because the Bible warns us. Yeah.

Do we want our kids to be like the person we’re learning from? Do we want our marriage to be like the person we’re thinking about learning from? Do we want our financial situation to be like the person? Right.

We’re learning for a disciple learns from his from the teacher. Right. And so we need to model that ourselves for our kids so that our kids don’t choose unwise people to watch and follow. All right.

Super important. And you can only tell the fruit over a long period of time. You’ve heard us talk about the vineyard before, but it takes seven years to get to the best fruit. So to really understand a vineyard, it’s a seven year. Process to get to know the how it’s going to be and what kind of fruit it’s going to bear and what kind of wine that actually makes then product and whether, you know, it’s great or just good. And so it takes time walking with people to really know the fruit. That’s why it’s so important. We are in fellowship with people so we can send fruit and we’re careful who we ask. So right here, Matthew, seven starting at 16. So you will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn bushes or figs from Thistle’s? Obviously not. Right. OK. Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. It’s kind of simple, isn’t it? A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore, by their fruits you will know them.

Mm hmm. That’s right. And so it’s really important that we are honest. We take rose tinted glasses off and we are we’re judging, actually, because obviously we’re not going to go and get biblical wisdom from someone who is not a Christian. Right. And so you have to make a judgment. You make a judgment. You go, oh, yeah, that’s not wise. And then if you are going to go to Christians because you’re a Christian, you’re in good Christian to get advice. What is Bible say? Judge Yeah. It says to judge it and it says, look at the fruit.

Now, let’s just so we have some context here. What are we supposed to do to our neighbor? We’re supposed to love our neighbor as ourself. So this isn’t making judgments. Not in love. This isn’t doing something to someone.

This is being discerning in who we get wisdom from. Can you still see somebody that you’ve made a judgment that maybe you need to learn from? Right. Absolutely. We’re called to.

Yeah. And also to be walking with people and Grace and her sense of like, hey, I could you can relate. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment as best as possible. Have some perspective and go, you know what, they can be a friend, but maybe not somebody that might take advice on.

So that’s the context of what we’re talking about this. Let’s not take us out of context, because we’re teaching you how to really look at who you can get good wisdom from, which is important.

Yeah. So the next thing that we wanted to share with you guys, what that’s important to test and judge. There are three or four good questions. What do they have to gain or lose? Right. So, for example, you go to somebody for advice and that advice for the thing that you’re asking for is going to potentially have impact on them. Do they have something to gain by your decision that you’re asking about or do they have something to lose because of the decision that you could make? Because it’s probably not a good idea to put that on them, to be honest, because most people are self preserving and they would make a decision that’s gonna be self preserving and get either gain them or help them.

It’s hard to trust that is that when somebody could gain or lose by the decisions you make and when you’re asking him for advice, it is really that makes it really difficult, maybe even, you know, not not a good thing on either side.

It’s not wise. And I think that it’s unfair to put friendships in that situation. So that’s an important question that you need a test. What do they have to gain or lose? If I was to go and ask them this, the next one is, are they biblical? Yeah. Right. Do they live biblically? So you’re going to ask that question. You’re going to test that question. Go. Well, you know what? In this situation, they actually they they you know, I mean, they were human. Maybe they weren’t perfect, but they were trying really hard to be biblical. And I really admired the process that they walked through that trial. Right. So you test that, you know. Are they biblical? Yes. Right. Do they go to the scripture and have an answer in scripture for why they believe what they believe? If they do, that’s great. Another thing is, are they biased or are they objective? Are they able to put themselves out of it? Are they able to put their love for you even out of it? Right. Like, I just think of myself as a mom and wanting to protect and love my kids. And if they were to come and say, hey, mom, should I go skydiving. My advice would be no.

Because I don’t want them to get hurt. So if I don’t have the ability to be objective, I’m not the best person to get advice from on that.

For my kid. Right. And so I just think that when we’re making decisions, we have to ask that question. Are they able to be objective and give real wisdom?

And here’s something to that is they have to know you well enough and long enough to not be biased because we all have first impressions and we all have some element of stereotyping other people based on life decisions they’ve made that you can see from a distance when until you really get to know somebody, you don’t really know them and you can’t really give good advice and wisdom to somebody unless you really know them. And it’s hard to receive it unless you know that you’re known.

I mean, this actually brings something else up to mine a lot of times, human nature. And this is just because we study human behavior, right. Human behavior is self preserving. We’ve said this multiple times in podcasts, yes, but one way it’s self, preserving Isaac is that sometimes people will give advice. There is an alignment with the decision they made maybe five or 10 years ago to readjusts, to reinforce, to justify, to make them feel better, that they made this decision. And in reality, it might not be the best decision for that person. It might not have even been the best decision for them. And so we have to be able to go, hey, have they stereotyped me? Have I stereotyped them? We have to be objective about that before we even we have to test it. It’s just something we have to test. Okay. And then the last thing you need a test is do they want what’s best for me or or do they want what’s best for them.

Is a competitive spirit. And this is where age, I believe, is important in comparison to your age. Because the longer someone has walked through life, the better there is. At least I don’t know if this is a male female thing or not. You’d be the judge of this. But I have found that a lot of us are striving in our younger years and have a little more competitive nature. It’s a little bit harder to curb that subconscious competitive nature or the ability to separate ourselves from from our situation and totally listen to somebody and give that people can for sure.

But I find that the further along someone is, the more experienced they are in life, the more they’ve kind of like they’ve been punched in the face a few times with things in life and they’re not trying to puff themselves up and then are trying to puff themselves up anymore. Yeah, and they’re not concerned about how they look to you because they’ve already kind of won and lost and lot things and times to where they like kind of over it. They’re kind of like, OK, I don’t need to like, prove who I am anymore. I am who God made me. And you can take it or leave it. But here I’m going to give you this objective advice, right.

Exactly.

The other thing that’s really good about that, too, is that oftentimes people who are older have been humbled enough to where they’re they they don’t really care about trying to protect their pride to the point where they’re willing to actually share the mistakes they’ve made. That’s really the best way to learn.

I mean, my the my favorite mentors are my favorite times with people that I was being mentored by was those people that were actually sharing their mistakes with me. Yeah, that is the best wisdom. And I would hope that you guys would hear that find that with us, as were virtual mentors. Have you here through the podcast. But the reality is we know that we make mistakes at times and we’re totally willing to share those with you guys. And we do often share about our failings. Right. But, you know, sometimes when you go to speak who’s younger, they don’t want to share that. They want to come across as they’ve done it. All right. Because I think that validates them as being more qualified to give advice.

It reminds me of when we were moving from Portland, central Oregon, six years ago. And you reminded me this went recently. Six years ago, we moved from Portland, central Oregon.

And I did go and I didn’t want to ask anybody to help us move. Oh, yeah. And we were moving from the big vinyard property.

It was three hours over a mountain range to central Oregon.

And here I am. And our kids were quite a bit younger. I mean, the muscles on the boys was less.

Yeah. I mean, Austin was like. Yeah.

He was eleven years old and I just remember it. And you really worked to me to ask somebody and then I got three friends to come and help. And it really wasn’t enough, but it was very nice of them.

It was so much better than a what if they had someone. But it just it just reminded me that my resistance to getting help from my peers.

You hadn’t really been humbled very much in that yet at that point.

Yeah, it was. Now it was, it was harder for me because I really needed help. Yeah. I really needed help because you were coming over here.

So you guys in a few months from now we’ll have our six year anniversary to having moved.

But at this point, we literally you should have just doing a little side story here. We literally would put all the kids in the RV and we would drive here to Central Oregon. We would drive for hours and we’d stay in RV Park in to getting our suburban we’d go looking for a house to rent. Then we go back and we’d have to work super hard on the vineyard. We had her house on the market, so it had to be show ready. And we started with a startup company with quite a few employees and with six kids. Isaac would stay here. I would work on the vineyard with the kids at home and try to keep the house perfect.

Talk about testing our marriage.

Took us six months to move here. Yeah. Took us a really long time anyway.

So back to it. We can all learn from mistakes. It’s just that you doesn’t your trust go up when you’re talking to somebody that is mentoring you. You want wisdom from and they teach you from their mistakes. That is a good sign. So I’m glad about that. Yeah.

Okay, you guys. So we have a few more little points. Who to take advice from the next one is take all advice. With a grain of salt and what we mean by that is that somebody might give advice that has worked for them. But that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily going to work for you. And so you have to take it and then still pray about it, still take it to the Lord, still communicate with your spouse about it, still like don’t do anything unless you guys are in alignment. I know this is stuff that we didn’t write down, but these are just like tips for making decisions. Right. But but please take all advice with a grain of salt because your family’s different, your different. Your marriage is gone.

The circumstances are different than for your family. And it’s not going to look just like somebody else’s family and family size. And what you’re doing and all these things, we can all be biblical and be on some different journeys.

The next point is to listen to the Holy Spirit. And this is so, so important, because if you don’t, you’re going to be potentially listening to your flesh.

Oh, yeah. Here’s a scripture on Isaiah Isaiah 11 two, which is The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him. The spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of council and Mike, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord. That is that good kind of fear where you respect God in your life and understand his authority in your life and the power God truly has.

And we want his help. Don’t we want his protection, his hope, his wisdom, all these things. Well, guess what? One of the ways he imparts wisdom is through other believers.

So another thing that is really important in this kind of goes along with taking all advice with a grain of salt. But we wanted to make it a separate point because there’s a certain type of person out there that is like this way, my way or the highway or this their advice. They think their advice is the only way and it is the best advice. And if you don’t do it, it’s a big deal. Right. And can I just say to B, you have to test that. You have to judge it because. Not all advice is cookie cutter. It doesn’t. Not all advice works across the board with families, with parenting, with marriage, with circumstances, with consequences, with situations. There are so many factors when it comes to these things. And so finding someone who is truly going to they are actually going to listen to the Holy Spirit. They’re going to be slow to speak, quick to listen when you come to them and they’re going to be slow to become angry. Hopefully they don’t becoming if you’re going to them. Yeah. Wisdom. But but truly, those principles of like when you’re going to somebody, are they slow to give advice? Are they safe or are they quick to listen? Are they biblical? Are they going to go you know what? Let me pray about this. Or maybe they already know and they go well off the top of my head. I would say this and this. But let me pray about it and get back to you. Or I could also see this working. I’ll be praying for you. How about we pray together? Like. That’s the type of person you take advice from, right. Where they’re actually exhibiting all of these things that we’ve been talking about. And they’re not just giving cookie cutter advice to all the same, like to all people. Right. As going, oh, I learned this. And everybody should do it this way. Like, that’s the cookie cutter advice. That is not it should be a go to.

But here’s the advice I think works. But you should be praying and asking God if that’s the right thing for you to do. Right. There should be some of that in the advice. And because it definitely isn’t all cookie cutter.

That’s right. And then test the advice. So once you have gone and found someone to get advice from and you get advice, you have to test that advice then. So here we’ve just been talking about testing, discerning, judging who you get advice from.

But now that you get advice, you also have to test it again against the Bible. Is it look in prayer with your spouse and making a decision together and going to them for wisdom.

And another thing, too, sometimes we don’t like the advice we get. And sometimes that’s good, because sometimes getting advice from somebody is exposing weaknesses in our own paradigm, the way we view things. That’s true. And then we go to the Bible and say, is this biblical in the Bible? Validates it. Then we have to change.

Right. And you’re actually going into the next point. Some point to in this podcast is mistakes people make. Yeah. And a lot of mistakes people make is not going to people that are going to challenge that.

Oh, yeah. Subconsciously, we tend to do this. We want just that perfect person that is has wisdom but will never expose things that break us out of our comfort zone and cause us to do things we don’t want to do, even if they’re biblical, because it’s rubs against our flesh the wrong way. So that’s a danger is that you see this in businesses? A lot of times, no. Sometimes leaders will put people around them. They call them Yes-men, and they’re people that will always say yes to their ideas and their initiatives and what they want to do. And that’s the most dangerous situation in the world. If you have a pilot, there’s a reason there’s a pilot and a co-pilot. And the reason is, is is the co-pilot supposed to disagree, not be a yes man if the pilot is making an error?

If the pilots make an error in unity, usually a unity. But that is wrong.

And one of the reasons. And whenever there’s wrecks and things like that, usually the co-pilot was a yes man. And so you don’t want that. You want it kind of. You want it. You want to navigate through life in it, in land, in your journey. Well. And so superimportant to have people around you that are willing to, you know, tell you the hard truth sometimes. And you know what? You need to ask them to give you the truth.

That’s right. To start to ask the hard questions of people that, you know, love you.

So if you see anything, if you see this, this one, this, whatever your challenges are, you need to go. These are my challenges. And I want you to hold me accountable, too. And I want you to ask me hard questions around.

All of a sudden, people are like, I don’t know why I matter. It actually reminds me of the scripture. I’m not sure where it is in Proverbs, but it says a kiss from the enemy is worse than rebuke from a friend. Yeah. And it’s important that we recognize that rebuke from a friend is actually going to make us better.

The sharpening of iron sharpening iron, which is also in Proverbs 27. But it’s important that we choose the path of growth vs. the path of least resistance, which you’ve talked about many times. So the next point under mistakes people make. That was the first one is not choosing people that are gonna challenge you. The second one is defensiveness.

Well, we have a mechanism in us to tell somebody that has wisdom, what is okay to talk to us about and what is not okay to talk about it with us. And our mechanism that we use is when they say something that’s truthful in an area we don’t want them to enter into. We get defensive about it in our conversation. We argue for reasons why they’re wrong when they’re. Might be some truth there. And then what is that wise person do? Oh, that’s a place that I don’t have permission to go. Right. Well, how are you going to get better?

One way people do this is to be like, oh, but you don’t understand.

Like, they’ll use their circumstance to be like you were never, like, married to someone in this profession.

Right. Or an entrepreneur that’s never at home. Your husband’s always worked at home. So you can’t talk to me about that with my marriage. Right. So or you know that those are just many there, those examples where you never had five kids and there’s a sign of something wrong there.

One you have the wrong mentor because they maybe they aren’t giving you good advice or they’re not listening and don’t really know you. Or two, you don’t actually trust the Holy Spirit’s working through them in the Holy Spirit is. Yes. And that would be detrimental. And a lot of times that is the case actually is because they don’t have to have all the same circumstances. You have the Holy Spirit working through through them. They’re going to tell you things that even if their situation has been different, it might only isn’t here always based aligned situations.

Right. I think that in my younger years, I made that mistake of thinking, oh, one day I’ll have a real, true friend who has my identical life. Like, I laugh now that I. I would have never said that out loud. But I, I think that my feelings towards the friends that I had, I actually believe that subconsciously like how they can understand because Isaac work so much in their husbands. Right. I remember that. I remember I have kids or they don’t get sick when they’re pregnant like I do. And like I had I had a lot of those things that were made it really hard for me to go deeper and trust my friends and be exhorted by them because I had a lot of hard things in my life and I viewed them and was like, you have anything in your life this isn’t fair. And so, like, as far as them being like, Angie, toughen up or let me help you, I was not willing to hear that actually for a while. And then God really humbled me when I was on bed rest.

And so, you know, you can either learn things that easy way or the hard way as it goes.

Absolutely. So there are six points in this episode, but it’s really a two part episode. And we’re gonna give you the last one. And next week you’ll get the other three. So differentiate between advice and having a mentor.

This is a really important one. But before we jump into it, we should share with people about the Courageous Parenting Mentor program. You want to hear about it? Well, you guys, it’s been really fun because I don’t know if you knew this, but when you joined the Courageous Parenting Mentor program, it’s a six week program that Isaac and I do together. And you get a weekly video with a parenting packet download and it has a one hour teaching on different topics that are literally in the order they need to be in for teaching the biblical parenting model that we’ve been using for 20 years. But we also have this awesome Facebook community where people are actually encouraging one another and answering each other’s questions. And we do these Facebook lives that are 90 minutes long, 60 Minutes Q&A and 30 minutes of or 60 Minutes teaching 30 minutes Q&A. And so it’s just been a really great time to be able to connect with other people. If you’re interested in that, you can find out more about it at CourageousParenting.com

I think you should share about every time they it.

I just really love it.

It’s been awesome to hear the testimonials. This week I’ve actually gotten a lot more through the texting. Women have just been sharing with me the stories of fruit that they’re seeing in their kids. And it’s really God’s just doing something.

It’s God. It’s amazing. I remember the Holy Spirit just prompting us with us as we tirelessly built that thing.

It’s been exciting. So let’s get back into this. So differentiating between a getting advice and having a mentor. So I think that this is an important thing because some people don’t realize that you can go and get advice from people who are not your mentors. Mm hmm. Right. Like, you have a perfect example of that.

Oh, I mean, there was a time I’ve talked about this many times, but anybody dealing with financial challenges right now, is anybody listening have a business failure? Unfortunately, maybe a business fire. Yeah, there’s a lot of that going on right now. I had a 43 employees, nine thousand square feet of space and everything on the line with the company. Well, I had a young, large family and went out of business. And so before work right before went out of business, he was facing imminent danger. And I was leveraged to the hilt. And a couple of guys that were 10 years younger me pulled me aside and spent three hours with me and really challenged me.

And I was I felt so loved. That’s right. Because they really I could tell Cared they weren’t my mentors.

obviously still 10 years younger, but they were wise people. And there were people I knew were reading the Bible and that I could trust. And I wanted what was best.

And they wanted to nothing. They had nothing to gain from it. They just saw the harm on the family. How many hours is working? How much weight I was gaining. All the challenges. Yeah. And they told me I really need to stop. And I did. And to the pain of a half million dollars in debt following me. But God is so good. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions. And you just need those wise people, counselors around you. Maybe not even mentors that just impart that wisdom to tell you to stop.

I hope that this testimony that Isaac was sharing is an encouragement and maybe even a challenge for you if you are having a hard time right now, because the reality is that sometimes we can’t see ourselves. And in that time, you are in CEO denial. Yeah. And you couldn’t see your situation in the reality of what it was. Absolutely. And you needed outside people to look objectively, which is one of the things we talked about testing, who loved you, who didn’t have a competitive spirit in them because they weren’t in the same kind of business, you know, that were truly for you, that wanted what was best for you. And we’re willing to speak the hard truth in the hardest time. And stand by. You know, faithfully they do. And you know what, guys? They like Isaac said they were a decade younger than him. And I say that because God can use anybody, we can learn from anybody of any age. I learned from my kids for crying out loud. And so I think that it’s really important now what I call them, my mentors. No, there’s a difference. Right. Like, I’m not good at call my kids my mentor. But I think that it’s an important thing. So when you’re in a tight situation, if there’s a younger brother in Christ who seems to just really get business well and you’re struggling, go seek them out. You know, it’s not going to hurt anything. But now let’s talk about having a mentor. What the different? Because we’re talking about differentiating between our two. So we talked about going and getting advice because we’re talking about getting wisdom, seeking counsel.

I like what you’ve always said, and I’ve always believed this, too, which is at minimum, it’s they’ve got to be a decade ahead of you in a season of life, not necessarily an age, because age doesn’t equate to spiritual maturity, meaning their kids are even 10 years old.

Exactly. And for us, I say when I I’ve taught on this for years, you guys, when I would teach at moms groups, I taught on Titus, too, in the importance of seeking someone out. And I was representing the younger generation actually when we first started teaching on this, I was 25 and I would go into the moms group. But okay, I’m the young mom like you. You need to go find an older woman that’s 10 to 15 to 20 years older than you are or even more if you can. And you need to seek them out. It’s your responsibility as the young person, right? Don’t be waiting for them. How awkward is it for an older person to go, hey, I want to mentor you.

It’s all wrong. That seems pride. You have to pray about it. You have to seek them out and you have to ask them and be willing to be rejected several times, frankly. I mean, that’s happened to me before.

Let’s be honest. When we were 25, we had two small kids. So people that were 10 years older and or 10, not just 10 years older, but because sometimes people have kids late in life, but a 10 years down the road in a season of life. Their kids would have been 15. Right. Teenagers, they’re super busy.

Well, Jim and Annie yet were our mentors early on. And he mentored me for twelve hours. And I would say he’s still a mentor of mine, even though we live different places now and so forth. Yeah, but he was you had to. Well, it was me in his fifties when. Well yeah. His youngest son was always meant to call. I was in my mid had when I had kids. I was in my mid 20s and he was in his fifties and yeah.

Because he’s in his 70s now and his wife Annie had mentored me as a young mom. And that was how you guys met. That’s how God works, you guys. And she had mentored me. And I mean, sadly, Annie passed away last year. That was really sad for me. She always hold that dear spot in my heart. But, you know, that’s why Titus, two relationships are so, so important. So, yeah, they were actually mean. There were 30 years older than us and and invested in us for a long time in our young parenthood years. And you guys, for us, we saw fruit in their marriage and they were humble and willing to share the mistakes they had made in the fruit of the spirit was in them to the whole.

They loved those says so much. The relationships were all rock solid all around them. Everybody loved them.

Yeah. And so at that, you know, at the time we were judging those things, I was like, oh yeah, obviously.

Yeah. So that that’s a really, really important thing. So there’s a difference. There might be people that give you wisdom that you trust. And then there’s a mentor that stays with you for should be a good long period of time and that you purposely give permission to speak into your life and you build that long term trusting relationship.

Now, sometimes you do outgrow mentor relationship as well, especially if you have a good mentor, because the whole point of it is that they, as it I think of this as myself, that people that I would be mentoring, you would stand on my shoulders and go farther than I. Right. Because then I have to make the mistakes that I’m sharing with them. And that is that that is what we would hope for. Right. But we need to be. Careful in choosing our mentor. And I think that that there’s a process, right. And so we have this like four step process in choosing a mentor, which is first same thing as choosing someone who you’re going to get advice from. You’re going to pray and you’re a fast about it. You’re going to look around you and see who has God put in my life is the second thing you’re going to do. And you’re going to judge their fruit. Once you identify someone, you’re going to judge their fruit and then you have to go ask them.

I remember being insecure asking Jim. I mean, he was a ministry leader. He seemed to have so many relationships, almost feel like you were gonna be a burden asking.

Well, almost seemed like he had already enough of that going on. And I hadn’t known him that long. And, you know, we’ve had some good conversations, but definitely not. We weren’t super, super close. And then I prayed and I got the gumption up to ask him and he taught me a powerful lesson.

He goes, you know what? God has been pressing upon my heart to mentor you, but I want you to know I was never going to let you know that. So it sounds good you’re willing to pay. If you wouldn’t have asked, I wouldn’t have said yes.

Yeah. So I think that it’s important to just go out on a limb and ask the other two things. I just want to reiterate, it’s super important that you at least have someone that is a decade ahead in your season of life. And, you know, when you’re we’re taking a courageous parenting here. So everybody has parents who’s listening to this podcast. And that’s why I’m insisting on this season of life versus age. Because the reality is this is not for you. It’s not wise to choose a mentor that has kids younger than you. If you’re gonna be getting parenting advice right and that and you’re not gonna choose a mentor that is never had kids. Yeah. Right. If you’re going to want parenting advice. Right. Just like you wouldn’t choose a mentor for marriage, you wouldn’t choose someone that’s never been married. Right. And so there are some basics there that would like for us. We think that they’re very obvious. I hope that that’s an encouragement to you. Maybe it’s a confirmation to you on things. Yeah. Another little tip that we would like to share with you guys is that you don’t necessarily want to choose someone as a mentor who has kids that are younger than your own kids. So because there are people out there who do have kids, but you want someone who is a decade ahead of you right now.

Next time we’re gonna go into the last three of these six points in who to be a mentor basically on this episode. Take your opinions, but do you take the right view? How do you take the right view? It’s all going to go more into how to choose a mentor. When you go into foolishness, disguises wisdom in virtual mentors and talk a lot about that in the next episode. But any final thoughts, Angie?

Well, I just wanted to share with you guys one little resource before we end today. And that’s from tiny theologians. Not so good. OK. They have these awesome flashcards we’re going to be taking with them, taking them on our RV trip with us, which we’re so pumped about.

They even have one. And there is in a little box so that they don’t fly around there so that, you know, really quality.

Yeah. So, like this one is the ABC is of Gods attributes.

There’s another one. That’s the Lord’s Prayer cards. And if you use the code theology 20, you can get 20 percent off your entire order.

We really believe in this company. We really believe in this. These tools, they make it easier to be spiritual leaders in your home, which the wife is the spiritual leader. So is the husband.

Yeah. They’re just really handy for using with you. Fell for wall. Hey, until next time, next week is going to be a lot of fun. We look forward to it.

Ok. See you next time. Bye.

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode. We wanted to quickly tell you about our six week online parenting mentor program.

Isaac and I created a powerful biblical curriculum. Here’s how it works. Each week, Isaac and I release a video with a downloadable parenting package to make it easy for you and your spouse to incorporate those teachings directly into your parenting.

It’s an incredible program where we cover everything from obedience training to overcoming mistakes. Most Christians are making more than that. It’s an incredible community. You’ll have access to a private online group live Webcast and the courageous parenting text message line where Angie and I can send you weekly encouragement straight to your phone.

If you’re interested in joining our next online parenting mentorship program, secure your spot now at CourageousParenting.com.

That’s CourageousParenting.com