It’s so important that we have a clear simplified plan to teach the Bible to our kids otherwise, we never get to it. Does it ever feel like, despite the desire and importance to do something like that, it goes by the wayside to all the other demands in life?  You will get complete clarity on how to do Bible time with your kids in this episode. It’s vital that this starts as a marriage conversation before you implement and ideally us men would initiate these efforts.

Here’s an encouragement to you men; you are the pastors of your own home. God gave you that authority and leadership role. The wives are also leaders too but us men must reject passivity, stand for biblical truth and lead unapologetically.

Here’s an encouragement for wives; if you are waiting for your husband to lead, be patient, kind, and don’t be nagging him. But I would encourage you to have the tough conversation through sharing your heart with him about how you really appreciate his Biblical insight and how you know the kids look up to him and how much influence he has in their lives.

Empower him and encourage him specifically; “I would love it if you prayed with us; I would love it if you read the Bible with us.” It’s also important to be quiet at times when he’s making even the smallest efforts to lead. It can be really discouraging if you interrupt or disrupt his train of thought.

This is a beautiful way to show our kids what a Biblical marriage is supposed to look like by building one another up, praying together, with the husband leading spiritually.

Anybody can do this, and it’s crucial for your legacy, but you must first be in the word yourself.

The word is the sword of the spirit and you are inviting God to work in your family when you read them the word of God and pray with them. You are a conduit of the truth’ to your kids. If you go to battle and you’ve never touched your sword before, how well are you going to wield it?  Do you know the geography of your Bible?

Spiritual Leadership Simplified

• Pray out loud with your wife and kids
• Read scripture out loud in front of your wife and kids
• Discuss spiritual things
• Model a relationship with God

Bible Time Simplified

1. Pick a good time to do it and commit

• Develop discipline and rhythm you are vigilant not to miss
• Do it for 15-30 minutes, it can expand if the kids proactively want it to
• As they get older they start asking more and deeper questions
• Wives need to help to protect this time and encourage your husband to spend the time to prepare.
• Also, protect the time when your husband is teaching by helping keep the kids focused and limiting interruptions

2. Teach Scripture

• Review the scripture you want to teach
  • Pick a book of the bible like Proverbs, John, James, Romans’ and teach a few scriptures a day
  • One of Isaac’s rule is to not skip scripture if he’s committed to reading through a book of the Bible
• Use a study Bible so you have commentary so you can quickly understand it
• Pick the point you are going to make about the scripture that’s relevant to your family
  • Get intel from your wife so you are in the know about family dynamics/relationships
• Read it
• Discuss it
  • It’s so important to ask questions and let your kids explain what it means
  • Slow down and ask them so they get involved

If you are lacking confidence, ask God. He promises to give us wisdom.

**Here’s a 2.0 addition if you dare

• Relate the scripture to real life
• Be aware of what’s happening in the real world
• It’s important to get articles curated through an app so it’s easy to get snapshots of what’s happening
  • Topics to discuss; normalization of sin, abortion, politics, current events…
• Sometimes people need to hear things in a group setting to receive feedback that’s not directed right at them

If we aren’t using the sword of the spirit, we aren’t preparing our kids for battle. They are launching into an uncertain world. We’re not to fear the world at all. There’s nothing to fear if your kids fear God, the kind of fear that’s reverential with awe for God’s authority over their lives.

Your kids should want to please you, but in the moments of challenge with peer pressure, for example, they should do the right thing because they want to please God even more.

3. Encourage

• Encourage strengths in people in front of the family
• Get your kids to talk about their siblings
  • Who do you think is really patient in our family?
• The most important person the Dad should affirm during bible time is his wife
  • It transforms the day and the kids respecting mom
  • Sets the tone for the culture and atmosphere of the home

4. Prayer

• This is a great opportunity to teach your kids how to pray
• Ask what and who needs prayer
• If you want God to do something for your family, make sure your kids are praying

In Review

1. Pick your time
2. Teach Scripture
   • Pick
   • Read
   • Discuss
3. Encourage
4. Pray

Scriptures In This Episode

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

James 1:5  ” If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

2 Timothy 3:16-17  “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

Romans 10:17 ” So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

Today’s definition of feminism has gone wildly beyond the original meaning. We agree with the dictionary definition as I’m sure you do as well; “The advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.”

Just because the dictionary defines something, it doesn’t mean it lines up with the current culture’s definition that’s actually being lived out. Culture has transformed the definition into something completely corrupted we should want our daughters to steer clear of.

But if you don’t inform your kids the world will be happy to.

Many people say “If Jesus where here today, he would be a feminist”. We agree with that if it’s only what this dictionary definition says, however, equality doesn’t mean sameness.

So if you mean sameness between the sexes, Jesus wouldn’t agree with that. Also, Jesus wouldn’t be adding anything onto His identity, He’s the Christ and as believers, that’s what we are called to also.

It’s not a feminist movement that defined equality among the sexes, it’s a Christian principle that’s over 2,000 years old.

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When we say it’s important to raise strong daughters, but not feminists, what we mean is God’s word is all we need. We don’t need to add on titles to us, we need God alone.

If believers know what’s in the Bible and obey it, they wouldn’t need to add titles onto their identity, like “I’m a feminist.”

We shouldn’t compartmentalize God into sections of someone’s life and leaving out pieces that don’t make us feel good. Making your own doctrine is a dangerous proposition.

As parents, we need to know the realities of what our kids are and will be dealing with today.

The Culture’s Definition of Feminism:

• You might see a shirt that says “The Future is Female”, there is no future without both men and women being involved.
• Feminism today is anti-male, Is this what God wants? Not at all
• It involves the support of killing babies, 67 million babies have been killed in the US through abortion. As Christians, we must defend life.
• It’s prideful and even hateful. Just look at a march and their spokespeople.
• It’s honoring and applauding sin
• There’s a disregard for a Biblical view of marriage
• It includes the Self-love movement that goes beyond self-care driving forward pride and selfishness within.

If you are anti-male, you are nothing more than a separatist.

We should never want our daughters to side with feminism, even if they adhere to the dictionary definition because the perception of the title is corrupted, potentially inviting your daughter to embrace the bad parts over time.

There is a truth that there are women who have been and continue to be deeply hurt. There are men that treat women horribly. They have sinned in such vile ways, that many women have lost trust in all men.

But lumping all men into one category is completely unfair. Sin is not a man problem, sin is a humankind problem.

We must educate our boys and girls that men and women are equal in value but different, by God’s design.

Reinforce with your kids that how God made them is beautiful and it should be embraced.

We each have different gifts and talents and when we work together we glorify God more by showing the world His true image through marriage.

A lack of a Biblical view of marriage causes the destruction of the family God designed.

The Biblical definition of womanhood is incredible, read Proverbs 31.

The Self-love movement is dangerous and unfortunately, many Christian women are buying into it. We agree we should take care of ourselves for sure, our bodies are the holy temples for the purpose of doing God’s work. But this movement is turning women away from a Biblical approach to family encouraging selfishness, pride, and idolizing self.

Beware of Christians that are spurring on this movement of self-love.

We must be aware of how we are feeling and know when we are worn down. It’s vital to communicate with your spouse and help each other.

If we aren’t spending time in the word and growing, then what’s coming out of us? It’s Definitely less Godly. We have to be filling up to be able to pour out, but our identities should be in Christ.

How to Raise Strong Daughters

1. Raise Independent Thinkers

• Prepared to stand against their peers if they are trying to lead them astray
• They may fall to moral relativism if they aren’t independent thinkers
• Equipping for an uncertain world, they need to be in the world while they are in your home.
• There’s a silent movement with really conservative parents that their daughters don’t need to further their education. We believe that’s wrong if they have desires to go to college, for example, we should support it in the same way we would with our sons.
• We definitely don’t believe everyone should go to college but it’s important to let God’s will happen for their life versus our will.
• They should have a Biblical view of marriage and family but when they are younger, they should be able to pursue the passions God has put in their hearts. If we stifle the passions in their heart, we may hurt God’s best plan for them and the people he wants them to meet.
• This is a challenge with fear-based parenting. We must support their futures while instilling the Biblical aspects of being a woman.

The stronger she is, the stronger of a man she will attract.

2. Create a Vision For Marriage and Motherhood

• You want to raise strong, trustworthy, prudent, industrious, loving, supportive daughters equipped for an uncertain world.
• Womanhood isn’t this docile weak thing. Having a gentle and quiet spirit doesn’t mean you are going to be weak for example.
• It takes a strong woman to adhere to the Biblical principles of marriage and motherhood.
• It takes self-control but you get the joy of seeing your husband and sons and brothers in Christ even in church rise up.
• God has created different roles for men and women but equal in value.
• The world hates the Biblical roles.
• The challenging word for many women is submission.
• The Bible says do not be unwise and do what the Bible says.
• It takes a strong woman to be submissive because you have to be very secure in yourself, otherwise you will fight for power in your marriage.
• Ultimately it takes being secure in Christ.
• Model equality but not sameness in your marriage. We must obey God and model the Biblical roles outlined.
• Do you want your daughters to be careful who they marry? If they understand and buy into God’s plan for their role, don’t you think they will be wiser in who they decide to marry?  Absolutely!
• A secret for husbands. Be motivated to make sure your daughters are strong, smart, capable, humble, loving, Godly. Why? Because the stronger she is, the stronger of a man she will attract.
• We teach our kids that you have to be, what you want

3. Make Sure They Are Biblically Strong

• Your daughters have to be strong Biblically minded woman at their core to attract a strong Godly man.
• We want them to be assertive, persuasive, experience communicating effectively with adults and others. There shouldn’t be any difference in wanting to train your girls this from your boys.
• What is God equipping your daughters for, you don’t know, but perhaps she’s going to raise the next leaders that impact our world.
• It’s vital our daughters have respect for men.
• We must make it easy on our daughters in respecting men by our example.
• Your goal should be that your kids surpass you, even better than you.
• They need to have a conviction at their core of the Biblical view of womanhood.
• Show your children how ungodly the feminist movement is so they choose on their own never to identify with it.
• We want to be raising our daughters to have a strong identity in Christ so they don’t add on these other aspects.

Scriptures In This Episode

Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

1 Corinthians 1:10-13 “Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s household, that there are contentions among you. Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?”

Proverbs 31:10-31 “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.”

Ephesians 5:17-26 “Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• Podcast: Now That We Are A Family  by Elisha and Katie Voetberg.
• Book; “Choosing Gratitude” by Nancy Demoss

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

We have five important warnings for you to heed in this episode that are vital for all Christian parents to consider.  There are several common parenting mistakes that might be hurting your kid’s spiritual growth. We must go beyond common Christian parenting that we see in today’s culture if we expect our kids to stand for righteousness in a world so proactively against it.

But remember, we aren’t to parent in fear. This is not fear-based parenting. If you parent out of fear, you are going to equip weak children into an uncertain world. They are likely to become fearful, isolate themselves or fall to the desires of the world. This is one of the greatest times for our kids to be alive but we must equip them to stand strong. This episode will help you do so!

1. Don’t Create a Religious Culture

• You must create an environment where your kids are comfortable sharing their insecurities and doubts, even about their faith.
• It may prevent them from asking questions that are needed to encourage their faith.
• Parents must create a culture that’s comfortable for kids to ask questions.
• Is there pressure on your kids to not expose their doubts?
• They must know that we love them regardless of their faith!
• We want them to have their own faith, not our faith.
• Is it possible that your kids become motivated to accept the Lord because they think that’s how to get more love from their parents?
• When your kids accept the Lord, it doesn’t mean they will be a believer forever. We realize there may be theological differences in this but just think about the pressure of teaching them “Once saved, always saved” when they accept the Lord at a young age?
• How does this believe impact your parenting? Well if it’s true we would naturally let up on discipling our kids because they are saved, right?  That is a huge error that often leads to unbelief, unfortunately.
• Don’t let up, ever!!!!!
• If this agitates you right now, go to the Bible and see all the scriptures that go against once saved and always saved.

2. Take Off The Rose-Tinted Glasses.

• The unwillingness to see the truth in our kids because we are biased towards only wanting to see the good side of our kids.
• If we are really honest about seeing our kids sin, then that means we have to do something about it and a lot of parents either don’t know what to do about the sin, correct it, or help walk with our child through that sin. This can cause us to not want to go there and get honest about it.
• It’s really important that we have a Biblical perspective of our children. God calls us to!
• This can become problematic with your personal relationships. Let’s say you have a relationship with someone, your kids are playing together and there’s conflict amongst your kids, so many parents immediately put defenses up defending their child when another parent lets them know there was a problem. We should be trying to see the truth in what someones saying rather than our defenses automatically going up.
• What does it say to your kids if you back them up automatically when another parent tells you they did something but inside they know they did it? You are cultivating a weakness in your relationship with your child where they believe they can hide bad behavior from you.
• Our unwillingness to see the truth is one of the biggest ways we can paralyze their spiritual growth.
• The biggest seasons of spiritual growth happen when there are challenges, so don’t waste the opportunities their trials bring and hold them accountable to their sin.
• They should be challenged to have to repent, be reconciled and change.
• We must deal in the reality of what’s really happening as that’s the only path towards growth
• Ask God for wisdom, you can’t be leading them if you’re not growing in the word
• Evaluate the fruit of the spirit in your kids lives to see where they are at, be honest with the fruit or lack of that you see.
• You must evaluate the fruit to challenge them to grow

Have you ever not asked your kid a question because you don’t want to know in case it’s negative, because then you will have to deal with it?

3. Don’t cultivate the wrong identity

• Any bad behaviors are a symptom of the heart.
• In the moment it’s so hard to tend to the heart because we are so agitated by the behavior.
• If we take a personal offense to their sin then it reveals we are focused more on the outward behavior then the heart. Become thankful for being able to see where their heart is so you can help them get rid of their sin.
• What really matters is their heart, if they are disobeying you they are disobeying God.
• The word of God is your tool to grow their hearts towards Him.
• The word of God helps you cut to the heart of the issue.
• Proclaim the truth about who they are in Christ. Scripture says we are saints, heirs, ambassadors and the Holy Spirit intercedes for us.
• Encourage questions and look them up together.
• Don’t underestimate the power of your words as a parent.
• You need to realize how influential you are as a leader regardless of the responses you get from your kids.
• The most powerful thing is parents encouraging their kids with scripture.

4. Lack of spiritual leadership

• How often do we get so busy and fail to open the Bible for ourselves? If we don’t look at it for ourselves we are likely to fail using it with our kids.
• Your kids need to see you reading the physical Bible.
• If you only look at scriptures on your devices you will become an “Out of context Bible reader,” you will take a scripture that serves your purposes and you won’t know if you are taking it out of context.
• Spiritual leadership starts in your marriage. Husbands should pray with their wives.
  • It shares the intent of your heart to each other and allows the Holy Spirit to intercede in the request.
• Ask your kids deep questions (Listen for examples).
• How you respond will dictate if they continue to ask you questions.
• Structured Bible time with your family.
• Acknowledging prayers coming true (Listen for example).
• Worship with your kids, creating experiences serving others, recognize what God is doing.
• Don’t forget that we are training them to become spiritual leaders.

5. Be The Example

• Is it easier to describe a relationship with God or for them to see a relationship with God in you?
• This is about a multi-generational legacy. It’s important to have a longer-term vision.
• You are either leaving an intentional legacy or not.

Scriptures In This Episode

James 1:5-8 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

Galatians 5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,”

Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

2 Timothy 3:16-17 “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

Luke 6:39-40 “And He spoke a parable to them: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.”

1 John 2:15 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

• “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”  -Tedd Tripp
• “Don’t Make Me Count To Three”  -Ginger Plowman Hubbard

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

There are few parenting disciplines that match the importance of cultivating a teachable heart within your kids. All of us naturally gravitate towards an independent spirit due to the rather major mishap in the Garden of Eden. 

Cultivating a strong teachable heart in your children will have a profound impact on their education, relationships, respecting you, and their relationship with God.

It’s not easy and takes ongoing influence from you, and YOU CAN DO IT! The good news is when you do follow through on this, it does make other parts of parenting much easier, for example, it’s a crucial piece to effectively correcting for disobedience.

If you want obedient kids, if you want a peaceful home, if you want kids who want to learn about God, then they better want to learn from you.

The Challenge Is The Independent Spirit

• This is one of the foundational topics as it determines whether your kids become prideful or humble with a teachable heart.
• Are your kids humble and teachable or are they prideful know-it-alls?
• It’s really important you are honest with where your kids are at. If you deal in reality you can make improvements, if you have the rose-tinted glasses on, you never will.
• The independent spirit can resurface too, so you have to have your radar out for it.
• This is important for all ages.
• Most people naturally don’t have a teachable spirit. It’s human nature, since the fall of man, that all people struggle with an independent spirit. People don’t naturally want others to correct them, for example. But with diligence, you can cultivate a teachable heart by regularly training your children in humility through reminding them of the reality of their nature and the battle of their heart. We must point it out.
• My encouragement to you is regardless of how old your kids are, never stop chasing your child’s heart. If your kids are older they can become receptive. Never give up!
• There is an Independent Spirit that’s in all of us which is the opposite of a teachable spirit.
• The teachable heart is about having a soft heart yielded to correction. Remember what God’s Word says about those who are yielded to correction? They become wise.
• If you see a kid that’s really behaving and listening to their mom. Never say this to yourself: “Oh, my kids are different. They must have gotten the kids that obey” or “Oh, I’d have eight kids too, if mine obeyed like yours?” Those are lies that prevent you from being honest and doing what’s necessary to train your kids.
• You gain nothing by saying, you are doing all you can possibly do if your kids aren’t improving. In fact, you become unteachable yourself.
• The truth is, it takes a lot of work to raise Godly kids, who’s hearts want to be Godly.
• Do you want your children to be wise when they are older? Do you want your kids to love knowledge? Do you want them to listen to correction? Then this must be something you are constantly working on.
• Are you trying to teach them the right ways, or are you just commanding them?

You Are Their Teacher

• It’s important to be clear in your language when you are asking your kids to do something. You can’t hold them accountable unless you clearly asked them to do something.
• When you are teaching them, you aren’t commanding them. Teaching is when you are having a conversation about a specific topic. If their heart is closed off to you helping them, there’s a problem that you need to address immediately.
• What do you do when your kids don’t listen? You must call it out. You can’t keep teaching if there’s a heart problem. Stop and deal with the heart issue before moving on.
• “Do you want my help?” If you want my help then what I require of you is to have a teachable heart, make eye contact with me and listen. Sometimes even tell them to take notes. This is why “Mommy wants to help you but I’m not going to waste my time speaking to someone that is going to ignore me or not respect the time I’m spending with them.”
• We all need to be respectful of people who are pouring into us.
• Do you want God’s grace or God’s resistance in your life?
• This is difficult. Parents should never stop working on this because there’s a heart condition that is prone to moving towards the independent spirit and we need to be constantly moving our kids towards a teachable spirit.
• If you want it to be easier than that, then I have a quote for you: “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.” Sometimes the truth hurts but is needed.
• We must take steps to become better constantly. Parenting is a refining process.

We Must Be Teachable

• The question is: Are you teachable? No really? Are you teachable?
• Do you immediately put your defenses up and say, “I’m already doing that.”
• You might be saying, “Oh yes, I’m teachable, it’s just that people don’t understand me.” Well, who’s fault is that, if people don’t understand you? Do you have real fellowship with people? Do you let people in? People will listen if they are your friends.
• Perhaps there’s such a high expectation of perfection in the people you are willing to learn from? Be honest. If someone doesn’t get it perfect when they give you feedback, because they say one part that isn’t accurate, do you get hung up on it and miss the parts that are accurate?
• If all your friend hears is you defending yourself, they will question whether to do that again with you. We need to be iron in one another’s lives. That’s Biblical friendship. We need to have it in our lives, model it for our kids, and be that for others too.

You can’t lead your kids where you haven’t been. You are the teacher.

• If you are desiring for this, you must be what you want your kids to be.
• A lot of times a lack of teachability in older kids and adults is because of insecurities. We care so much that people look at us in a certain way, that we defend it with all we have because our identity isn’t in Christ.
• We must recognize our responsibility in teaching our children.
• Hold blame shifting accountable, it’s a sign of spiritual immaturity.
• It’s vital that you see yourself as a teacher, being a teacher is required as a parent.
• A lot of parents fail to cultivate that kind of relationship with their kids and then their kids don’t come to them for guidance in their teenage years.
• For most parents, when their kids need them most in the teenage years they won’t come to them because they failed to create that deeper relationship with them.
• If you have older kids and have regrets, be a courageous parent and admit to them the mistakes you have made in not parenting them biblically. Explain to them that you see a need to have a teachable heart too and that you want to work on changing their relationship with you.

Vision is required if you are a parent, you have to shift your relationship for the long term.

• The goal is that they want advice from you forever. Don’t over delegate to the youth pastor, pastors, coaches, teachers. You are the parent.
• Dads, you are the pastor of your family, so let’s not take this lightly.
• Make sure your kids learn from their mistakes. Do you have open dialogue talking about their mistakes because you created an environment where that’s welcomed?
• Kids need to get good at learning from other people’s mistakes. That’s a sign that they have a teachable heart.
• You have to cultivate a family culture that includes humility. Where the importance of having a teachable heart is a major focus. What does it mean to be a [your last name]?
• We as parents cannot teach kids to have teachable hearts if we don’t have one.
• One good test with your family is to evaluate if ageism exists in your family culture. Can someone younger say to their older sibling, “You _____” and call them out for something they did? Does the older sibling receive it?
• That will only happen if they see you doing the same.
• The ultimate goal is that you develop a teachable heart in your child so they hunger after God’s wisdom and are receptive to His corrections in their life. They allow the convictions of the Holy Spirit to change them throughout their life because they developed a teachable heart in your home.
• If your kids have a teachable heart, it’s a fruit of having a strong identity in Christ. The sin isn’t who they are and they understand that. If there’s pride it could be a sign that their identity is founded in some of the wrong things.

Scriptures In This Episode

Proverbs 12:1  “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid.”

Proverbs 12:8  “A man will be commended according to his wisdom, But he who is of a perverse heart will be despised.”

1 Peter 5:5  “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

Psalm 1-6  “Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night.He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.The ungodly are not so, But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the ungodly shall perish.”

Proverbs 29:1  “He who is often rebuked, and hardens his neck, Will suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.”

Matthew 18:6  “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

Luke 6:39-40  “And He spoke a parable to them: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.”

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

If we want to raise our sons and daughters to be confident and joyfully embracing their God-given roles and responsibilities in leading their families when they are older, then we have an obligation to teach them how it is supposed to look. Many Christian women describe a deep desire for their husbands to be more intentional and take on the spiritual leadership of their homes, but they don’t know how to encourage them. On another hand, there are also many women who have been leading their families spiritually for years while their husbands are aloof but still sensing a quiet disrespect for their role. There is an attack on Manhood today, often referred to as Toxic Masculinity, that not only discourages men from leading but literally provokes men towards passivity while it gives accolades to women for the very thing it discriminates against men for.

The enemy doesn’t want men to lead or parents to be involved in the education or discipleship of their children. 

The enemy is clever. He subdues men, convincing them to believe they shouldn’t lead. One of the ways he does this is by getting the culture to shift towards hating masculinity, making men feel both irrelevant and guilty for their gender. Society is constantly pressuring men into being more feminine and apologetic for the God-given attributes they have been created with.

We are discussing the importance of men being a great example of masculinity to their children, reasons men can be passive, and how wives have a massive influence in the encouragement of their husbands in a spiritual leadership role.

Key Takeaways From This Episode

1. Men must be good examples of masculinity to their children.

• If daughters don’t see a father leading biblically, but rather see a passive boy, they won’t know what to look for in a husband.
• If sons don’t see their fathers lead their families they don’t know how to replicate being a Godly man.
• Likewise, a mother’s role and response in encouraging her husband is equally important as it is both a role model for what a son should look for in a future wife, but also an example to the daughters of how they should act, lead, and encourage their husbands in the future or not.
• The wife has an important role in knowing how to be supportive of her husband in being the head of the household.
• It will be hard to launch confident Christian kids into the world if the man is passive.
• If you are listening, Men, and you retort that you aren’t passive, listen with an open mind as we all need help with this.

2. Reasons for Passivity

• There’s a psychological warfare discouraging men from living out how God made them and their leadership role of their homes.
• Media depicts men as aloof, dumb, disrespected and it takes a toll, influencing how your children view you, how a wife views her husband, and what a man thinks everyone expects of him.
• Don’t only rely on human examples as God’s Word tells you how to be.
• Don’t look around you and say “I’m doing good, I’m a little bit better than the other guys I know.” No! Our standard is in the Bible.
• Get around other Resolute Men and Courageous Moms to run the race with.
• It takes courage and self-control for wives to be submissive.
  • A story of Angie being submissive that catalyzed Isaac’s leadership.
• Wives, you should be submissive because you love your husband and want to follow his lead, but also because it’s what the Bible says.
• Too many dads are over delegating their leadership role to coaches, pastors, teachers, youth pastors and take the hand off the leadership wheel.
• Godly men like that should be additive to your leadership, but not replace it.
• Over time your kids will grow in only listening to the other leaders in their life and then in the teenage years they won’t listen to you anymore and those other leaders might not even be around them anymore either.
• A lot of times women, when they don’t see their husbands as someone who can lead them, go to their pastor instead, or online resources even. But the best way to encourage your husband to grow is to go to your husband with the questions.
• If your husband doesn’t know the answer to your questions, make him feel fine looking it up and getting back to you. You, wives, have massive influence in building up your husband’s self-esteem and confidence in being able to lead.
• Some men make the excuse of having a lack of Biblical knowledge as to why they cannot lead, but that’s a really bad excuse.
• Whatever you focus on, you learn and know. We must reject passivity, the Bible is the manual for leading your family.
• Unrepented sin in a man’s life destroys their influence; especially sexual sin like pornography. Sin creates a blockade from hearing God and understanding His word. You are neutralized instantly from having influence. You can even feel it inside you. You feel the guilt and shame.
• God can clear up your sin right away but you can’t just repeatedly do the same sin over and over again knowing you are deliberately sinning and expect closeness with God.
• You can’t hold others accountable for what you are doing yourself.
• If you are in sexual sin, it will prevent you from having the deep conversations you must have with your kids about pornography, masturbation, and other issues if you are deliberately, and repetitively sinning in the same ways.
• Men with secrets raise boys with secrets and both remain in deadly bondage of sin. Their boys don’t grow up and become men because they never saw it modeled for them what a real man was like.
• Your kids will then repeat your behavior even if they don’t know about it, because you aren’t training them to fight against the desires of the world that you yourself are addicted to.
• Over 80% of men are addicted to pornography. If that’s you, YOU ARE NOT A RESOLUTE MAN, you are a passive man. You cannot lead your family adequately if you are addicted to pornography.
• Insecurities cause men to stay passive as their identity often isn’t in Christ.
• If us women are expecting our husbands to lead the home but we make it hard for them to have the time to study the word we are being unfair.
• Men, don’t abuse your time. Your wife knows if you waste your time and if you are, she will fill your time with things that need to get done. If you are not being intentional with your kids, she may fill up your kid’s schedules with activities with people who will engage your kids.
• Is your identity in Christ or is your identity in the world?
• Sometimes it’s hard to see how your role fits into the schedule because it’s too busy. Do you need to set some boundaries and re-prioritize? Do you need to schedule Bible time into your family’s daily or weekly routine? Utilize time you already have, like dinner time.
• Here’s a key question men must ask their wives: “How am I doing as the spiritual leader?” The heart of your wife opens towards you when you ask her this. Encouragement might come your way if you allow her the freedom to share her heart and desire for you to lead.

3. Wives Have a Massive Influence

• Wives, respecting your husbands encourages them to be the spiritual leader.
• The Bible doesn’t say to respect your husband only if they deserve it. It says to respect them regardless. However, Men, you should want to be deserving of respect from your wives.
• Respecting your husband is one of the things that might be needed for your husband to lead spiritually.
• Men should respect their wives in front of their kids.
• A huge discouragement to men is if they know the wife is disrespecting them to other women or to their kids. It is a huge, debilitating factor for many men. It shouldn’t be. We should rise above it, but it is one of the most discouraging things for men.
• Women need to surround themselves with other courageous women. A courageous woman will hold her friends accountable, exhorting or even rebuking other women for speaking disrespectfully of their husbands.
• If bitterness is in your marriage relationship, you subconsciously may be sabotaging your husband’s leadership and you don’t even realize it. Be introspective.
• Men, if you get home and are passive it will likely lead to bitterness in your wives.
• There is so much power in a praying wife. It’s the most powerful thing you can be doing as a wife to encourage the spiritual leadership of your husband.
• Men, you should ask your wives and other godly men to hold you accountable to purity, we all need that.
• A key question for wives to ask their husbands is: “Is there anything I’m doing or anything in our marriage that discourages your spiritual leadership?”
• A powerful question disrupts the normal rhythm of the relationship and invites a better path together. It’s like a recalibration of the relationship rhythm.
• Courageous Parenting Challenge this week is to ask each other these two questions that we have mentioned in this podcast!
• Wives, it’s vital to shift away from being the spiritual leader when your husband gets home creating room for him to lead.
• Put the Biblical modeling to your children above being productive and let your husband seize the opportunities. It will take patience but over time he will likely lead.
• Your children turn on in a different way when your husband leads! We are not saying to stop leading spiritually in your home when he is at work, you just need to take a step back when he does get home.
• Some of the pauses where you wait may seem like a long time. If you fill the gaps it could lead to passive efforts.
• Men, mentally get prepared before you walk through the front door after work. It doesn’t matter how tired I am, how I feel, what happened in my day. All that matters is engaging with my family and leading. You should have this same standard too.

Scriptures From This Episode

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.”

1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Proverbs 31:10-12 “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.”

Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

Marriage is meant to be an incredible experience, but like anything, the good things are never easy. One of the crucial keys to a great marriage long-term is to nourish the gifts and dreams in your spouse. If one or both of the spouses aren’t growing, then your marriage might be experiencing a slow death.

We want our marriage to be the example that our kids want to follow. Is yours?

One of the best gifts you can give your kids is a strong marriage and you will get practical insights in this short content rich discussion with Isaac and Angie.

Key Takeaways From This Episode

1. Be a catalyst for growth in each other.

• Working out and supporting one another in your health journeys.
• Exercise spiritual gifts and talents, help them have time for devotions and serving the Lord and His Body, the Church.
• A marriage starts stagnating when one or both stop growing.
• If you run out of things to talk about your marriage is receding.
• Marriage is either growing or receding.
• Do you run out of things to talk about when you go out to dinner?
• We’ve got to be addicted to each other, not our phones. How do we become addicted to each other? If you’re not growing, there’s nothing new to talk about.
• Continue to study one another. People feel most loved by their spouse when they are valued, understood, heard and see growth in one another.
• We don’t want to prevent each other from growing because we haven’t been paying attention and don’t see the growth, but instead view them how they used to be. That’s frustrating, unfair, and frankly unloving.
• Allow one another to grow in the areas they have maybe, developed a reputation with you?
• We get into marriage relationship rhythm’s, and it can be hard to break the rhythm to a better relationship direction.
• The wife has such a powerful impact on the husband. The most powerful thing a wife can do is PRAY.
• We should be wary of becoming the nagging wife. Sometimes the second most powerful thing you can do is be silent and overlook an offense.
• God did assign the husband as the leader of the family. It’s not an inequality thing. Both the husband and wife are equal in value but with structure.
• Submission should come from understanding what God’s word says about the wife’s role and desiring to obey Him. It’s awesome if a wife’s desire to be submissive is becuase of her love for her husband, but there will be times when loving him might be hard. While we can choose to love Him, our greatest weapon for defeating the temptation to step out of bounds biblically in marital leadership is to simply know what God’s Word says and love Him so much that we want to obey Him.
• There is no successful business with two equal leaders.
• Your kids get to see how amazing marriage is. If you want your kids to desire a great marriage you must model it.
• If you don’t do this with your spouse, you are highly likely not to do it with your kids.
• Nurturing the gifts in your spouse creates the right parental behaviors for nurturing your kid’s gifts and dreams.
• You must rally each other to be courageous parents long term. Parenting is a long-game.

2. Encourage your spouse’s strengths

• We all have weaknesses, but we should focus on the strengths and bring those out.
• How many people today don’t know what their spiritual gifts are?
• If you don’t call out the gifts of your spouse and you know them the best, perhaps no one is?
• You should talk to your spouse about this if you feel it’s lacking.
• Ask yourself and your husband why this is lacking (if that’s the case) and ask if you are living a biblical marriage in a biblical community.
• If you aren’t walking with others in life, calling you towards good works you might re-evaluate your community.
• Your family is a form of fellowship and family of God. A miniature picture of the family of God.
• Stories of encouraging strengths in each other (You must listen to know the stories)
  • Angie encourages Isaac’s spiritual leadership when newly married as he was a newer believer.
  • Angie was never into public speaking, listen to how Isaac encouraged her.
  • Encouraged each other to cultivate a vineyard.
  • Marriage catalyzing business growth.
• Husbands, it’s so important to proactively include your wife in the career mission because of her support. Use we not me.
• Our lives are not about ourselves, but pointing towards the Lord. We must be willing to share the recognition with our spouses for all successes.
• The most powerful team in the world is the marriage team.
• You get to disciple God’s people for 18 years with undivided attention and launch them into from your home for kingdom impact perpetuating a Godly legacy that has big kingdom impact.
• We do have an enemy that is out to kill and destroy your family. It’s vital that we have a teachable heart towards each other. If you expect your kids to, you better do it.
• Recognize your spouse in front of your kids. It makes a huge difference. Do you want your kids to respect your spouse? Maximize one another’s influence.
• Every woman has been in a place where they are in valleys, whether losing jobs, cars breaking down, illnesses, losing a baby. There are so many things that can get you down. We must comfort and edify each other. Exhort and encourage each other daily.
• One of the things that can help if you are in a bad space is moving beyond comforting and go into edifying. Believing in your spouse, reminded them of who they are and the power of God through them.
  • A story of Angie when she almost died and dealt with miscarriage.
• You’ve got to know your spouses love languages. You’ve got to study your spouse.
• The reason we don’t do this sometimes is our own insecurities. When you build your spouse up they will reciprocate.
• Men need to initiate and lead in this!

3. Never nurture gifts and dreams at the cost of your kids

• For women, there are seasons of life when you are a mom, that you don’t sacrifice the greater thing that God has for you. You have to know what to say yes and no to. Great things, like a legacy, happen over time, like a strong vineyard. If you don’t put in the work in it’s due season you will not reap what you dream of.
• It’s not the same for every woman.
• If more women were willing to embrace the mothering season of life with a spirit of contentedness vs discontentedness they would be thriving.
• When we get past that season and get to the next season we can look back without regret.
• Sometimes our dreams aren’t supposed to be realized until the right season. But we get impatient.
• It takes surrendering your will and all of your dreams to the Lord so he can lead you into the right timing for implementation.
• There are seasons for dreams to be realized and seasons to pursue them.
• We have to be careful not to push our agenda before the Holy Spirit, but rather surrender to His will and timing.
• Sometimes your gifts aren’t to be used in the way you want to use them right now. You have to submit your gifts to God as well.

4. How you look at your marriage, defines its reality

• If you look at it in a certain way, that’s what you will likely have in 10 years.
• Make sure you are looking at it in a really good way.
• You should expect great things out of your marriage.
• Your marriage is either receding or growing.
• If your marriage is interesting, then your kids are fascinated with your marriage and you.
• If marriage was thriving at that level, those kids are being sharpened as well.
• Expect your marriage to have an impact. What kind of impact should it have? You should brainstorm about that.
• The problem is, a lot of times men don’t feel relevant or they can’t say something because they are a man.
• Wives should be encouraging their husband’s dreams. Men you have to encourage your wife and bring meaning to what she’s doing.

5. Action list

• Make a list of gifts to encourage in your spouse.
• Share them with your spouse.
• Pray about the list together.
• Pick one to encourage consistently for the next 30 days.

Scripture From This Episode

Hebrews 10:24-25  “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Hebrews 3:12 “Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God;”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.”

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

 Jeremy & Audrey Roloff are an inspiring couple who are intentional in encouraging people in their marriages. Tune into their podcast at Behind The Scenes, and buy their new book here –> Love Letter Life.

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

Don’t let ageism destroy the potential for your family. We are all naturally selfish and tend to take for granted the people around us. These both contribute to a home where kids fight only to be compounded by continuous age segregation perhaps starting in Sunday school, grade levels at school, activities, and sports.

In addition, kids naturally, form a powerful peer pressure with each other to only hang out with people their age or a little older causing harm to sibling relationships and a lack of effectiveness as they launch into the world.

This isn’t what you want right? Well, it takes a proactive deliberate ongoing effort to parent your kids in a way that prevents ageism and leads to amazing sibling relationships and frankly, a peaceful and productive home.

This is exactly what we cover in this episode.

Build what you want tomorrow, today!

Key Takeaways From This Episode

As Christians, we are called not to fear this world. We serve a mighty God who is in complete control. We must fear Him only, but also must be as wise as serpents and gentle as doves.

Everyone wants to have siblings that love and respect each other and every parent desires their children to have a great sense of teamwork.

Because we worked on teamwork early on in our family we immediately saw the benefits which encouraged us more toward being open to having a larger family.

If you just take one thing away from this podcast and implement it daily, you will see change.

Our prayer is that you would be cultivating strong sibling relationships regardless of what your experiences were in your childhood; to create a new legacy.

Work hard, but play hard together too.

• When people work hard together they have to learn how to be together in a more dynamic way.
• Signature experiences are important in raising your kids. It calls for everyone to use their gifts and play a role to accomplish something together.
• One of our families signature experiences was cultivating a vineyard.
• Celebrate accomplishing things together to cultivate teamwork.
• Great experiences let you anchor the right behaviors moving forward.
• We’ve found that RV trips are great because they are close quarter experiences, revealing the relational and behavioral opportunities for improvement.

Build Relationship Vision

• Sharing warnings or regrets from your sibling experiences with your children to help them see the costs of not doing it right and help them see a vision for doing it better. (if that’s relevant)
• Describe the future relationship dynamics they will want and help them see that today’s nurturing of that relationship matters; that they need to be close NOW and wanting to support each other in the future.
• Remind them that they are responsible for building relationships with their siblings.
• It’s not just going to happen in the future, you have to build it today.
• You have to start visioneering for what they want when they are older and to build that closeness today.
• Whatever you take for granted will disappear.  
• Get them outside of their immaturity, the moment, and their familiarity (the present) to think about the future and how their actions today are impacting that, and really how their siblings should be their closest friends.
• Familiarity breeds contempt.
• We don’t encourage our kids to have best friends because it’s exclusive by title. We encourage close friends but not using the words BEST friends.
• If they can’t get it right at home first then they won’t do it well outside the home with others.
• “If you can’t get it right here, then you can’t go to that birthday party”, you’ve gotta share the consequences.
• Teach them how to allow each other to grow up; they have an impoverished image of their younger siblings and need you to remind them how much they’ve grown up so the older ones shift their view.
• Proactively get them sharing positive things about each other at the dinner table.
• If you see selfishness, call it out and give a consequence for it. We say “The first shall be last” and make the selfish person who wants to get their dinner first, go last, for example.

Teamwork

• If you establish and continue to influence a great sense of teamwork then everything is easier.
• We (all parents) tend to nurture our kids being part of teams outside of the home with sports and activities but fail to nurture that team atmosphere at home. You are the coach of your home.
• To cultivate a team atmosphere we go and support anyone who’s doing something outside of the home.
• Put kids together that have the highest potential for conflict which is the opposite of normal parenting. Unfortunately, parents separate kids that have a hard time getting along. We make them work it out and purposefully put them together.
• Do you want your kids to be able to work with all different personalities? Then train them to do so in your home.
• The easy choice is usually not the best choice as a parent.
• Naturally, your kids will develop more loyalty to their similarly aged friends but it shouldn’t be that way. They should be more loyal to their siblings.
• Raise our kids up to be loyal, faithful, and protect each other no matter who’s around them.
• Cultivate friendships despite age otherwise, ageism will develop. Wherever your kids are age-segregated, it massively contributes to this unhealthy behavior if unchecked whether it’s public schools, Sunday school, activities, sports, and activities like these. You have to combat against this proactively.
• It can negatively influence a kid for the rest of their life if they get stuck subconsciously in ageism only being good at having relationships with kids their own age. This is why we see a lack of young people seeking out older generations to mentor and disciple them, which was God’s Design.
• We are not called to be like this world, don’t allow your kids to be.
• A root that needs to be pulled is selfishness.
• Family life, specifically sibling relationships, is the training ground to learn how to deal effectively with conflict. Do this right and it will benefit their marriage. 
• As parents, we often want the conflict to be fixed too quickly, missing the opportunity to guide them in appropriate reconciliation with each other.
• Start as young as you can, but remember it’s never too late. Tell your kids where you’ve blown it by saying things like, “I should have been talking to you about this a long time ago, but I want to start now.”

Scriptures From This Episode

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.”

John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”

Mark 9:35 “And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 “Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone?

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.”

Resources

A great resource for Dad’s mentioned in this episode is Dadtired.com, you can also follow him on Instagram for Godly wisdom and inspiration.

Here’s our family vlog that highlights our three month RV trip around the US. That’s right! Last Spring and Summer our family of 9 (at the time) drove over 13,000 miles and saw over 34 States, while Angie was 6-8 months pregnant with our 8th baby! Fun adventures all over the place.

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

If you don’t make God real to your kids, they will likely fall to the enemy’s buffet table of worldly desires. They must see and experience spiritual transformation while they are in your home and this goes beyond the moment they accept Jesus into their lives.

Whether your kids have accepted Him or not already, the parental diligence is the same to help them experience God and his truth. Courageous parents know that it’s possible for kids to fall away from the faith and you may slowly let it happen if they don’t witness you experiencing God as they grow up in your home.

In this episode, we cover practical ways you can help your kids know God is real.

Five Ways To Help Your Kids Experience God:

Personal Relationship

• You know you’re a believer by your actions when no one’s looking.
• Share the importance of spiritual disciplines
• You know you are growing in relationship with God if you are praying when no one’s looking. If you’re praying when no one’s looking. If you are reading your bible in your own prompting. If you are thinking of Him and trying to be obedient to Him.
• It’s important to “Deal in Reality” with your kids so that no one is playing Christian but instead they have real introspection.
• But be ready to proactively share it’s okay to doubt, have questions, and discuss whether God is real or not. This is vital!!!!!
• Here are some practical examples:
  • Conflict with a friend, encourage them to pray for them and their friendship
  • Experiencing God comes through your obedience
  • When scripture comes alive to them they are growing in experiencing God
  • Our three year old got in trouble, we told him to pray to God. Twenty minutes later his brother heard him still praying, saying, “I’m sorry God”. Then his brother asked him “Did you hear back from God?”. The three-year-old says “He said, I forgive you”.

Visuals

• Don’t refer to events in the Bible as “Bible stories” as kids are used to stories being things that are made up and not real.
• If you don’t believe in Noah’s Ark, the Flood, Creation and so forth, then you don’t believe in what the whole Bible says and this will hurt your kid’s belief.
• We went to the ArkEncounter in Kentucky to experience the life-sized replica of Noah’s Ark. It was amazing, but even more amazing was the huge diagram on one of the inside walls that proved all the animals would fit.
• God’s creation itself proves God is real and we need to talk about it. Just one of many examples; If the Sun were any closer or further away we would die of heat or become frozen. It’s the absolute perfect distance to stay within the livable temperature range for humans. Kid’s love this stuff.
• Did you know that there’s a unicorn in the bible? Go discover it for yourself.
• As we continue to find evidence of the past it just continues to prove Biblical truth.
• Share stories happening in the world that validate God and the Bible.
• Part of your job is to be in the know of what’s happening in the world and translate that to how it’s relevant to what the Bible says.

The Bible

• Do we agree that it is the infallible word of God?
• Have you read everything in it? You want to be able to say “I’ve read this, and say it’s the infallible word of God with conviction.
• What about the dinosaurs and creation?
• Are you going to have questions from your kids that you don’t have the answer for? Yes absolutely, this is a good thing actually.
• One of the greatest moments of your parenting will be when they ask you a question you don’t know and say “I don’t have the answer for that, but let’s look it up together”
• This is how you cultivate a love for learning to give them the confidence to find answers themselves
• No perfect parents allowed! If you are trying to look perfect by always having the answer for them, that’s called pride.
• Pride comes before the fall. The fall might be your kids not believing God though.
• Prideful parents produce prideful children.
• You are leaving a legacy whether you are intentional about it or not
• Over 300 prophecies have come true about Jesus already! You gotta tell your kids these things.
• Experiential learning by doing activities, traveling, museums, and mission trips help
• Help your kids realize the events in the Bible are real places in the world, look them up and show them.

Prayer

• It’s vital to acknowledge God’s answer to prayer
• How would you be able to do that if you never pray with your kids?
• Do you actually pray with faith? Do you actually believe when you pray that God will do it?
• God hears every prayer, if it’s in His will, and you ask with faith, The Bible says He will do it.
• But sometimes God knows what we want isn’t what’s best for us. Do your kids understand these things? It’s vital!
• After our RV trip we had a family meeting and counted over 100 prayers answered and ways God provided or protected us over the three months. Talk about a powerful faith experience.

Transformation

• Your conversion story is worthy
• You have 18 years with any given kid, if they don’t experience people being transformed by the gospel, it means your family is not on mission.
• There should be situations where your tribe sees or hears of real-time transformation of people around you.
• Here’s a challenge: Find some kind of mission to get excited about with your kids
• When your kids see you being a missionary right where you are it makes a big impact on them.

Scriptures From This Episode

John 15:5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”

1 Peter 3:15 “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;”

Job 40:15-23 “Look now at the behemoth, which I made along with you; He eats grass like an ox. See now, his strength is in his hips, And his power is in his stomach muscles. He moves his tail like a cedar; The sinews of his thighs are tightly knit. His bones are like beams of bronze, His ribs like bars of iron. He is the first of the ways of God; Only He who made him can bring near His sword. Surely the mountains yield food for him, And all the beasts of the field play there. He lies under the lotus trees, In a covert of reeds and marsh.  The lotus trees cover him with their shade; The willows by the brook surround him. Indeed the river may rage, Yet he is not disturbed; He is confident, though the Jordan gushes into his mouth,”

Job 41: 1, 12-22 “Can you draw out Leviathan with a hook, Or snare his tongue with a line which you lower?”, “I will not conceal his limbs, His mighty power, or his graceful proportions. Who can remove his outer coat? Who can approach him with a double bridle? Who can open the doors of his face, With his terrible teeth all around? His rows of scales are his pride, Shut up tightly as with a seal; One is so near another That no air can come between them; They are joined one to another, They stick together and cannot be parted. His sneezings flash forth light, And his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning. Out of his mouth go burning lights; Sparks of fire shoot out. Smoke goes out of his nostrils, As from a boiling pot and burning rushes. His breath kindles coals, And a flame goes out of his mouth. Strength dwells in his neck, And sorrow dances before him.

James 1:6 “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.”

Biblical Resources Mentioned

The go-to place for the proof of Biblical creation, The Flood, and tons of resources is AnswersInGenesis.org.

Here are the links directly to the Creation Museum and the life-sized Noah’s Ark

Be sure to see what our friends Jon and Ann Dunagan are doing at MissionMindedFamilies.org   They are a family of 9 and their kids have launched into the world having big Kingdom impact!

Also if you want to see the Vlog from our 3-month RV trip around the US which includes visiting Noah’s Ark, check it out here.

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

God says children are a blessing, while the world views them as a burden.

Where do you stand and why? While God has a different plan for every family, Isaac and Angie cover 9 reasons why so many Christians don’t want to have any more kids.

Whether you are done having kids or not, this is an important episode as you think about your legacy and what you communicate in front of, or to your own children. Someday your kids will ask you about the “why” behind the decisions you’ve made and this discussion will be helpful.

God is the ultimate designer of every family and there is no judgment or condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. There is truly beauty in His unique designs of each family.

Disclaimers:

This message does not speak to those who are struggling with infertility and loss. Our hearts go out to those who have struggled for years to have children and have suffered greatly. We have lost a baby of our own and know the deep pain and heartache that brings. If you have suffered loss, Angie has written a lot on miscarriage and even shares her miscarriage testimony here on CourageousMom.com.

In this episode, Isaac and Angie hit on the sensitive topic of why Christians often choose not to have kids and give encouragement and warning not to stop having kids if it’s for selfish reasons.

An important question to think about: Do you believe God is the creator, or do you believe you are the creator of your children?

The 9 reasons Christians decide not to have more kids

FINANCES

• Choose lifestyle over God’s blessings, children?
• We’ve always believed both are possible together but lifestyle should never win over having children.
• One of the greatest ways to impact the world is by having children and raising them correctly.
• How many times do we ask God to bless us with material things, yet we’re not willing to accept a baby when God says it’s an amazing blessing from Him?
• Personal story:  We had 6 kids, running a business we went all in on. As we were likely facing catastrophic business and financial failure we found out we were pregnant with Solomon, our seventh.  Isaac had a struggle in his heart for a bit but swung back with total trust. It was a gut-check moment.
  • We lost everything financially and stayed the course completely trusting God and He completely provided for us as a family of nine.
  • It was the best thing for our family growing together and trusting God.
  • Solomon brought so much joy during a challenging time to all of us.
• Are we going to trust God with our finances? Is it God’s money or your money?

HEALTH

• Auto-immune diseases are a huge challenge today and they can flare up in pregnancy but that’s why it’s so important to get educated so you can come out on the other side healthy. 
• It’s going to take knowing your body and getting healthy naturally.
• It was never easy for Angie as she faced many challenges in pregnancy and birth: Excessive vomiting, paralyzed from the waist down, bedrest, hemorrhages, miscarriage losing over half her blood almost dying, chronic mastitis, and more.
• 9 months is a short time to sacrifice for another person’s life, legacy, and their eternity. That perspective helps you get through each day. Keep your eyes on the prize and the sustainer of our faith.
• Women ultimately fear for their health because of how hard pregnancy, birth, postpartum can be on their health. To get wisdom and learn how to thrive through this season, check out Redeeming Childbirth and the Christian Postpartum Course.

HUSBANDS AREN’T SUPPORTIVE

• If the husband isn’t being supportive, the wife may say “we can’t handle having more kids” but inside still want more.
• Husbands have to be supportive otherwise they may be sacrificing their legacy.
• Husbands must ask their wives what they need support with and find a way to help them.

POSTPARTUM CHALLENGES

• The selfishness of men around sex is deplorable during pregnancy and postpartum.
• Women can suffer and struggle through all kinds of postpartum discomforts, issues, depression, stress and more. They need to be prepared for what to expect so that they know how to care for themselves and others during this precious season when they should be enjoying their new babies, but often are struggling.
• CHECK OUT ANGIE’S Christian Postpartum Course HERE for 54% off. 

SELFISHNESS

• Struggle with the commitment in having a baby as the journey never ends.
• A rule of ours is not to decide not to have kids if it’s a selfish reason
• Don’t choose business or career growth over having children. Find a way to make both happen.
• Family life should help a man succeed, a business life should support the family life

INSECURITY

• If the husband’s eyes are wandering, or they are caught in pornography it creates insecurity in the marriage.
• Body image because of insecurities of how they look.
• Lack of validation in being a Mom from husband, society, and community and family.
• Men, do you proactively, on an ongoing basis, appreciate the very important work your wife does? Does she know that’s the most important job in the world?
• Value and validate one another in marriage.

SHORT-TERM THINKING

• The more you fear God, respect for his authority and control in your life. The good fear versus the dread fear of the world. The more you fear God the less you fear the world and potential circumstances.
• No one ever regrets that they had their kids!
• I surrender all except my womb…
• Exponential impact, are you missionary minded?  Do you want to impact the world?

QUALITY VS QUANTITY

• If I have fewer kids, I can give them more, there is some worldly truth to that.
• The biblical truth is He will provide and kids are a blessing.
• Constantly reminding ourselves to keep our eyes focused on what God wants.
• The new US fertility rate is a record low of 1.76 children per woman. It takes 2.2 women to have a stable economy.

JUDGMENT FROM OTHERS

• If you train up your kids correctly they are a blessing to others. People become enamored by seeing kids obeying and joyful.
• If you have poor expectations for kids behavior you probably won’t want to have very many children.
• But if you become a biblical parent, they truly are blessings, great to be around, and helpful.
• If you want to be a great leader in the marketplace, have more kids and lead them well.
• Don’t take for granted the fertility of your youth, as you get older it gets harder to get pregnant. 1 and 4 women have miscarriages.

4 RULES

• Make the decision in alignment with your spouse.
• Not to make the decision during pregnancy or postpartum.
• Don’t decide not to have kids if it’s for a selfish reason.
• Pray about it.

Why are you going to stop having kids? Why are you going to continue having kids?

Scriptures From This Episode

1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Psalm 128: 1-6 “Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the abor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine. In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants. All around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed. Who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you out of Zion, And may you see the good of Jerusalem All the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children’s children. Peace be upon Israel!”

Psalm 139:13-16 For “You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.  My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.”

Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Biblical Resources Mentioned

Go check out an important Pro-life movement and a great example for young people Liveaction.org and it’s founder Lila Rose.

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)

The normal Christian approach to parenting is inferior today to equip confident Christian kids to launch with purpose into this world and stand for righteousness.

We can’t do it alone, we need other believers in our community backing us up, speaking that same truth into our kid’s minds and hearts.

It takes being in real Biblical community with other parents who are striving to obey the word of God to experience mutual accountability, encouragement, and worthy friends for your kids.

Key Takeaways From Episode

• We don’t want to have a spirit of fear about our culture. We are supposed to fear God only. When we trust and obey God, there is nothing to fear in this world. We must teach this to our kids so they anticipate being an influence in the world while still in your home and then beyond.
• If you are feeling lonely send this podcast to a friend you want to go deeper in relationship with to cultivate the conversation.
• Everyone you are around also is shaping your kids in a good or bad way.
• Who we are is partially the result of who we spend time with, if we want to attract better people we may need to become more ourselves.
• When you think of Biblical church, you want to go where you can trust the people you fellowship with because you are allowing them to be around your kids and their kids.
• You can’t really trust people unless there is a foundational agreement that the Bible is the true authority for how to live our lives.
• If someone isn’t walking in the light, then you aren’t going to be able to have deep fellowship with one another because it’s hard to be vulnerable in communication.
• You are either walking in the light or in the darkness
• You better really know who you spend time with and their kids as over 80% of men are addicted to pornography and walking in the dark.
• Are you going to ask a deep question if you don’t want that same deep question asked of you?  Nope.
• You are going to stay surfacy if you don’t want people to ask you deep questions because you have something to hide.
• If you are willing to give accountability to others then you better be ready to receive it.
• It’s so amazing when you are obedient to God because it enables you to have a deep relationship with Him. This makes it easier to have deeper relationships with friends, and then you are modeling that for your children. It also makes it easier to have deeper relationships with your kids too.
• If you trust people you go to church with, then you want older women to speak into your daughter’s lives and older men into your son’s lives.
• God set up His body of Christ to be a family of believers, one body and we each play a role as a part of it.
• It’s important to spend time with people who value your kids, and actually, want to have conversations with them.
• There are three kinds of friends; friends, friendlies, and frienemies: This has helped us have a vocabulary teaching our kids to discern how to approach different “Friendships”.
• This helps you clarify who to pursue deep friendships with, who to influence to see if they can become deeper friends but maybe spend less time with, and who to be friendly to, witness to, but perhaps not spend time with unless they change.
• Develop trust and open communication with your kids so that they feel comfortable coming to you when something wrong happens. Then you can discuss it right away and even talk with the other Mom about it right then.
• If your friends are committed to parenting Biblically they won’t take offense to their kid’s sin,  because we know that’s human nature and we can discuss in an objective way without offending each other, getting to the heart of the problem and move on.
• Peer to peer relationships are a powerful influence on your kids. Who your kids spend time with will largely impact who they become.
• If you aren’t intimately understanding who they are spending time with and purposeful about that, you’re making a big mistake.
• If your friends aren’t growing spiritually, then their kids likely won’t either and will usurp your authority over time.
• It’s vital to teach your kids the importance of not being a follower in situations where sin happens in their friend groups.  You must proactively train them to stand for righteousness in tough situations.
• We want to model for our kids being around people who are wise because we want them to look for the same in their friendships.
• We all have different strengths and weaknesses, other people can see our blind spots and we should be able to get close enough to see theirs. God made us in a way where we have to need others.  There’s no person that has it all together and do life Biblically and effectively alone.
• You get, what you give. It’s so easy to feel lonely when we are only thinking about ourselves, and sometimes we have to give to get.
• You have to go out on a limb, being brave with your own vulnerability. Sometimes we need to lead in vulnerability to show others what it looks like.
• Go to a friend and share “I really want our friendship to be more purposeful as I’m craving a deep relationship. Do you want to read the Bible together?”
• Men, do you want your sons to have the same kind of relationships you do?  If you don’t, then you need to fix them now.
• Who do you need to get real with? Talk about Biblical things, ask for accountability, confess sin, talk about the challenges you’re facing, discuss impacting your sons together.
• When you walk through trials, that’s when you see true friendships and in the valley, they become stronger.
• Is a competitive spirit within you creating friction in your relationships? Is a lack of transparency causing you to have to appear a certain way to be in friendship with someone?  Stop it!
• It’s important that we don’t allow any kind of sin to continue in our kid’s lives. We need to call it out. If your kids have a competitive spirit tearing other kids down to puff themselves up, we need to expose and correct it.
• There are three kinds of relationships you should have; peers, , mentors, and those you are mentoring.
• Do people want their kids to be like yours?
• let’s model friendship and Biblical community so our kids are raised up with a multitude of wise friendships and counselors around them supporting your parenting!

Scriptures From This Episode

1 John 1:7 “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.”

1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits.”

Proverbs 13:20 “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

Phillippians 2:2-4 “Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

James 5:16 “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

If The Spirit Prompts You to Financially Support (We are a for-profit, for social good organization.)